#i haven’t seen him since but he gave me a diary that was the first one i ever filled up

[fingertipsmp3]

It’s so crazy to me that after 17 years I still feel garbage in late April and still never realise why

[incogrio]

h.kai - send off part two ～*° °。｡

pairing: huening kai x fem bodied reader

genre: fluff, angst, SMUT!!

synopsis: a month has gone by since your dreamy encounter with huening kai. and he hasn’t said a word to you.

warnings: sad in the beginning, general smut warnings, eating out, slightly public smut, sub! kai, dom!ish reader, inaccurate depictions of huening kai’s head game

w/c: 2.5k+

a/n: ONE person asked for a part two (yk who u are) and i once again, was possessed by the ningdungie inside me. and kai inside me. so uhhh yeah enjoy pookies.

part one

COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK HEAVILY APPRECIATED!

it had been days since your dreamy encounter with huening kai had burnt itself into your skull. you found yourself giggling when imagining his smile, unable to fall asleep as you awaited his text. but it never came.

on the morning after your meeting with him, you sent him a friendly: “hi!”. you hadn’t expected a response immediately, he is a busy idol after all. but after three days, you had started to grow worried. what if he got in trouble with his staff? did he realize his mistake in trusting you and change his number?

you decided to send another text: “i hope you’re eating and resting well!” radio silence. nothing but your anxiety plaguing your mind. you had fallen for him so quickly, and now every time you’d seek comfort, you’d find yourself thinking about what could have been. your comfort is now your plague, and you sob into your pillow.

a month has gone by. by this point, you’ve accepted his disappearance. you send him messages everyday; treating his number like your personal diary.

“i had ramen today, but the noodles were kind of hard.” [delivered: 12:34 PM]

“i haven’t been able to sleep recently, thinking of you too much.” [delivered: 4:37 AM]

“today a girl complimented my outfit! i was so happy i could barely even say thank you haha!!” [delivered: 6:13 PM]

“i wonder why you gave me this number. was it a prank?” [read: 2:48 AM]

you thought you were hallucinating. you must’ve stayed on that chat for hours, refreshing and refreshing. now you were the one giving him silence.

it made hyuka’s stomach churn. he had been fighting with his members and the staff for the past month, desperately trying to convince them that he was not threatened, that he did not need to change his number, and that he did see a relationship with you. every night, he’d sob as he read your messages. he knew he couldn’t begin a relationship if he would have to break it off, but this hurt more. your constant wondering of his affections, your desperate attempts to get him to say something, anything. it made him want to throw up. he could only imagine the look on your face as he delivered you your thoughts, once more.

but today, today he did it. today they agreed to let him at the very least commune with you online. huening had sprinted to the nearest bathroom, locking himself in and pressing his back to the door, sinking till his butt softly touching the cold tiles under him. he opened your chat, frowning at your most recent text.

“i wonder why you gave me this number. was it a prank?” [delivered: 12:56 AM]

his hands shook as he tapped your contact, turning on read receipts for the first time. he didn’t know when you had seen the change, but he knew that you suddenly gave him a taste of his own medicine. he didn’t know what to say. what to do. his thumbs shook as he typed out a message, before deleting it.

“oh.” [read: 3:01 AM]

he jumps, eyes widening. he quickly types without thinking.

“i promise i can explain. let me meet with you. please.” he responds, to which you see it immediately. on your end, you’re on borderline tears. for a month, all you had wanted to see was his response. his notification. and now that you have it, you didn’t even know what to do with it.

“okay. meet me at the bench where we first exchanged numbers.” [read: 3:02 AM]

“okay! thank you. i’m on my way now!!(*^^*)♡” you rolled your eyes at his kaomoji with a slight smile on your face. you got up slowly, before tugging on the quickest outfit and bursting through your door and down to the lobby of your apartment building.

you deserved an explanation, but you would fold the moment you saw his bright blue hair. you tried your best to discipline yourself as you walked through the slightly humid streets, slowly making your way to the now empty concert venue.

huening types out his speech as he walks, slowly nearing where he had met you. he takes a deep breath as he turns the corner, seeing you sitting on a bench whilst looking around expectantly.

he sneaks up behind you and taps you on the shoulder once more. “hi,” he says, his voice shaking out of nerves.

you turn around, getting a strange sense of deja vu. do not fold, you tell yourself. “hey. so…”

hyuka clears his throat, reaching into his pocket and shakily opening his phone. he reads off the note he wrote, “i-i know you are angry with me. and you have every right to be, but i need to at least explain to you-“

“kai, what are you doing?” he looks up.

“wh- i’m… i wrote it in advance, so i wouldn’t forget anything… i’m.. is that rude?” he asks, reaching up and scratching the back of his neck softly.

you sigh. you reach for his phone and place it back into his pocket, before taking his hand and leading him to sit next to you.

“i agreed to hear you out, kai, not your notes app. please, you do not need to be perfect around me.” you mutter reassuringly, yet sternly.

he feels himself tearing up, his lip wobbling softly. he looks at you as the wind blows your hair softly and the street light illuminates your skin. an angel, he thinks to himself. my angel.

“oh- okay! s-so, i was not ignoring you. i was reading your messages! it’s just that i was sort of fighting with everyone at hybe to convince them that you’re NOT a saesang- not- not that you seem like one it’s just that when an idol gives out their number they tend to think that- that they had to give it away and that was NOT the case and- and so i basically has to convince them to not change my number and it was so fucking hard and i JUST-“

you smile to yourself softly, “kai. kai! take a breath. i’m not going anywhere.” you take a deep breath, and he follows.

“and… and i just got them to agree that you are worth it and…” he looks down at his hands, playing with them. “and i didn’t want to start a relationship with you until i was sure it would work out.” he mutters, his voice becoming warbling more and more by the second. “i’m so sorry-“ he can barely get out, before he breaks into sobs. you immediately hug him, taking his head and tucking it into your neck, cradling him.

“oh hyuks…” you mutter, softly kissing his head. “you hurt me a lot,” you explain, and he whines softly into your neck, “but… i understand. i do. you don’t need to worry. cry if you need to, but not because i’m leaving.” you whisper as passersby begin to look over. a six foot tall broad man being cradled in the arms of someone significantly smaller than him is not a usual sight.

after a few seconds, he softly calms into a sniffle. “i don’t deserve you.” he mutters, playing with the hem of your shirt and staying at his position of being wrapped around you.

you hum, “you don’t know how many people disagree with you.”

he untucks his head from your neck before slowly lifting a hand to your cheek. his eyes flick between your eyes to your lips, a silent question.

you aren’t even through your first nod before he launches forward, kissing you like he needed oxygen from your lips. you wrap your arms around his neck, moaning softly as he bites your lip. he smiles against your mouth in satisfaction, before tilting his head to kiss you deeper. both of you begin to run out of breath, and neither of you find it in you to care. his lips are salty, drenched in his tears. you are addicted to their taste. he whines softly, pushing you back in a desperate attempt to get closer to you. you slowly lean back, before your head softly hits the arm rest of the bench.

you pull away, despite hyuka’s attempt to follow you. you breathe heavily in each others faces, and kai grins at you.

“i have waited so…” he leans down and presses kisses to your neck and jaw, “so long..” he says lowly. you bite your lip, attempting to hold back a moan as he sucks a hickey onto your neck.

“oh my- kai!” you push against his broad shoulders. “we’re in public!”

he pulls away, pulling you up with him. “we… we could be in private. if you want…” he says, eyes drifting to the street that leads to the hotel he’s staying at, before snapping back to you. it’s as though he cannot bare to not have you in his sight.

“won’t people see us?” you ask, slightly confused as to how he was able to get here, apologize and make out with you all without being recognized. he bites his lip in thought, before his eyes light up.

“do you care where we go?” he asks, eyebrows crinkling up in question.

“…i mean… i guess not…” you state, the syllables turning up at the end in slight confusion.

the last place you expected him to lead you was his tour bus. you stare at him incredulously as he unlocks the door, leading you in hand in hand. you marvel at the expensive equipment.

“kai we are not fucking in your tour bus! what if we don’t clean up well and one of your members notices? we should just go home separately and sext or something-“

he cups your cheeks. “i will make sure everything is fine. there’s a bathroom with enough supplies to clean, i have my own bunk bed. you don’t have to worry baby.” he responds reassuringly. “but, if you don’t want to then that’s fine. we could get some froyo instead? does that sound good?” he says smiling, before walking towards the tour bus door.

god, respectful men are so hot.

you tug his hand, pulling him back. “please,” you mumble, looking away like a child.

he smirks. “please what?” he asks smugly, you know he knows what, and he knows he knows what. he just wanted to hear you say it.

“please… please fuck me kai… went a whole month without you, didn’t talk to or even look at anyone else… only…” he begins kissing your neck, “only you kai… please, i’ve been so good for you..” you moan out.

his fingertips squeeze your waist tightly, pushing you back until you hit a small kitchen counter. he reaches up and softly wraps his hand around your throat, eyebrows raising as he asks for your consent. you respond by placing your hand over his and pushing his hand tighter around your neck. he groans before you launch forward, first kissing his lips down to his neck.

“no,” he says sternly, pulling you back by the neck. “no kissing anywhere but my lips. you cannot leave a mark.” he says seriously. god, him being an idol really sucked sometimes.

you pout at him, looking at him through your eyelashes, “nowhere… else..?” you ask, eyes showing disappointment as he tells you that you can’t mark him up and show everyone he was yours.

he smiles at you reassuringly, cupping your cheek and running his thumb across your cheekbone. “i am still yours, marked or not,” he mutters, slowly leaning closer and brushing his lips against yours by tilting his head up momentarily, silently asking if you felt better. you responded by leaning forward, kissing him softly, making sure he felt all the love you had been longing to give him for a month.

he groans against your mouth, fingers digging into your waist as he grows needer. “fuck… need,,” he mumbles, pressing kisses down your neck, “need to taste you, baby. please,” he makes his way down your sternum, “i’ve been so good, haven’t i… baby..?” he looks up from his crouched spot in between your breasts through his eyelids, watching you watch him. you nod, reaching down and moving his hair out his eyes.

he slowly sinks to his knees, licking his lips as he pressed kisses to your plush belly.

a small , ‘mmm’, escaped him as he felt your stomach sink momentarily at his kiss before plushing up once more.

“kai…” you sigh out, before reaching your hand into his hair and tugging him to look up at you, “you need to hurry up.” the stern tone in your voice had caught him off guard, but made his pants ever tighter around his growing bulge.

his bit his lip, looking down at the waist band of your skirt with hungry eyes. he nods, humming a approving tune and muttering out ‘sorry baby.’ over and over. he finally reaches up to your skirt and tugs it down harshly, the cold hair making your legs prickle up with goosebumps.

he almost drools at the sight of your underwear. kai cannot contain himself any longer, launching himself forward to mouth at your clothed clit. he moans to himself as you tighten your grip on his blue hair, muttering soft praises into the otherwise silent tour bus.

it wasn’t long before he reached up, pulling your panties for the side with one hand and shoving your leg over his shoulder with the other. you brace yourself, but nothing could have prepared you for his lips immediately wrapping around your clit, sucking harshly at your swollen nub. you have lost all sense of dignity and pride, choosing to replace it with kai. kai. kai. kai. you moan out, slightly placing your weight against the counter, fighting the leg on his shoulder to wrap around his head. tugging him ever closer.

“f..fuck kai! so good..” you moan, breathing heavily as he runs his tongue up and down your folds, alternating between pistoning his organ into your hole and swirling and sucking at your clit.

he lets out moans every few moments, sending your hips bucking into his face, “don’t you dare stop, hyu..hyuka..”

he shakes his head against your pussy, fervently telling you that no, he will not stop. not until you’re shaking and his entire face is drenched in your fluids.

and even then, even when you were shaking, desperately trying to get him away from your pulsating pussy, he kept going.

“fuck!! kai! please, i came… please stop!” you borderline shout, the overstimulation driving you crazy as you almost climb onto the counter to get away from his skillful tongue.

finally, a pussy drunk kai pulls away. he breathes heavily, your juices covering from his chin to the bridge of his nose, the window behind you making him glisten.

“sorry,” he muttered half heartedly with his nerdy little voice. you chose to completely lay down on the counter, regaining your sense of reality.

you chuckle, “that was.. kind of crazy.”

“good crazy?” he asked, standing up and rubbing your thighs comfortably.

“mhm,” you mutter, sitting up and reaching your hand to palm his bulge. kai immediately turns bright red, looking at the floor rather than you.

it was wet. drenched, actually. he had already cum. not just once, but twice whilst feeding on you.

he had half expected you to laugh at him, call him a bitchless loser and shame him. instead you kissed him, “such a good boy to cum while pleasing me..”

oh. oh you had unlocked a beast. he growls against your lips, picking you up and shoving you onto one of the small bunk beds in the bus.

“i’ll show you what a good boy i can be.”

epilogue:

kai had at least had the decency to bring you to his hotel room after the staff and members had all gone to sleep. you deserved a good nights sleep after all.

he had helped you limp into the bathroom, where you now sat on the toilet, back leaned against the wall.

he was in between your legs once more, but with a softer intention this time. he softly wiped your folds free of any residue, shushing you everytime you whined at the overstimulation.

“better?” he asked, getting up and wetting his toothbrush, squeezing toothpaste onto its bristles and holding you by your chin. he softly tugged at your chin, encouraging you to open your mouth. he smiled softly when you tiredly obeyed, and began cleaning your mouth.

you stared at him with wide, fucked out eyes. he would glance at you every few moments, before going back to focusing on your teeth. a small, flustered smile lingered on his mouth, and pink dusted his cheeks everytime.

after you were clean, you watched him brush his own teeth with the same toothbrush. you didn’t have it in you to complain.

it wasn’t long before he had you change into his clothes, to which his heart soared after seeing you dawning his shark hoodie, boxers and basketball shorts. he softly tucked you next to him into the hotel bed that smelled so comfortably of him, smiling to himself as you tucked your head into his neck. he squeezed you impossibly closer.

god he loved- wait… was he falling in love with you?

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[foreverdolly]

this is a self pitying post and i’ll probably delete it later- but when i’m sad i tend to write it out. i’ve used this blog like a diary of sorts for the last two and a half years. i’ve developed a relationship with a lot of you on here and i appreciate all the love i’ve received so far on my last post. my friends that i have in real life, no matter how long i’ve known them, don’t know too much about my upbringing or my parents. i hate the idea of trauma dumping- it’s uncomfortable for other people: so don’t read this if you don’t want to. i wouldn’t blame you.

my dad died from cirrhosis due to alcoholism. he died miserable and alone. he had no friends. his family was sick of him. i tried to call him as often as i could but sometimes he could be mean if he was drunk. i knew not to call him after 11:00 in the afternoon because he would start to drink. he lived in his youngest brother’s basement and almost never came upstairs because he was embarrassed. i haven’t seen him in three years because he lives fourteen hours from me, but i tried my hardest to call him every week and keep him involved in my life. he never saw any of my homes, never met any of my friends, and never even saw me drive a car (i’ve been licensed since i was eighteen). i cried to him almost every week, begging him to get sober.

he never recovered from my parent’s divorce, and for that i feel so sorry. he called my mother his soulmate and always spoke in past tense- talking about when me and my brother were little. he would tear up when talking about the first time he ever saw me in the hospital after my mother gave birth, and he was vocal about the fact that i was his favorite. we shared a lot of the the same interests and always had fun when talking.

when my mom made a suicide attempt two years ago he was there for me almost everyday, calling me despite the demons he was battling with himself.

the last time i spoke to him was thursday- a week from the day he died. he told me that he almost called a treatment facility but he got tired and took a nap instead. his doctors appointment was today at one and he was going to ask to be admitted and then go to a rehab facility. i told him i’d send him money while he was in there- he hasn’t been able to hold a job since i was still in high school.

my dad was a chef. a damn good cook- classically trained in french cooking. he had the loudest laugh i’ve ever heard, so much so that it used to make me cry when i was a baby. we used to wear matching costumes and he’d sign me out from school on halloween and call me out the day after. he took me to my first concert, but he couldn’t afford both the gas and the tickets (so i paid for the gas with my pocket change at the age of thirteen). he wore adidas strictly- shell toe was his favorite.

when i was little my dad was on night duty while my mom was away: tucking us in, reading us books. he refused to read to me and walked out the door but not before saying “bed bugs and stuff”. i thought it was so funny. it became our saying. every night we spent with each other we said “bed bugs and stuff”. so that was my last send off to him. i hope he’s finally resting well and isn’t depressed, ashamed or lonely anymore where he is.

he died in his sleep. they found a solo cup filled with vodka next to his bed and i can’t stop thinking about the fact that he was going to get help today. he was yellow due to jaundice. what a cruel world.

[ikigaisvt]

sleepy

in which your boyfriend comforts you after a restless night.

pairing: joshua x gn!reader words count: 1.6k content: comfort, fluff warnings: talk of insomnia, eating, talk of drinking, petnames (for reader: babe, baby, sweeheart / for joshua: josh, love), skinship (cuddles, kisses) note: hi!! the joshua brainrot has been hitting hard lately; im kinda in love,, thank you so much @goblinvern for proof reading this for me 🫶 you're the absolute best! minors are allowed to interact with this post but please don't follow or i'll hard block you. enjoy and don't forget to leave a like/comment/reblog! note 2.0: i wasn't planning on posting this fic before the new year, but since i had it sitting in the drafts and it's joshua's day, i thought it'd be a good timing to post it now~ i hope everyone will have a good 2024 and happy birthday to shua!! 🫶

You were pretty sure if people would have to describe you, they’d use that word: admirative. You were one to always be left in awe at people’s talents, whether it be singing, drawing, dancing or truly anything else. Even though you were creative yourself, you’d always be admirative of what people could create out of their minds only. But if you had to say the one skill that would leave you speechless, as it is not one you possess, it’s being able to function with little to no sleep.

Okay, let’s redo this. If you’re being truthful, people would more likely describe you as sleepy. You were someone who always loved sleeping; however, sleep did not like you. You were never like one of those people who could sleep anywhere and through anything, you were rather on the more sensitive side when it came to sleeping. Over the years, you had put together a very strict routine you had to follow every night to ensure a restful sleep. But oh, if you had the bad idea or the bad luck to skip or miss a step? You’d end up falling asleep at 1 am and waking up at 5 am. And that’s exactly what happened yesterday night. Now, you’re used to this so surely you would know how to handle your own state and have the most productive day despite your tiredness. However, because the world never gives enough hardships to one, you were sometimes faced with a special kind of tiredness. A tiredness that would make you stick to anyone’s side. A tiredness that would make you hug a person and never let go. And when that happened, well, no amount of self-knowledge could make you change for the day. But maybe you have something to thank the world for: it gave the loveliest and gentlest boyfriend ever. And he loves cuddles.

10 am – 5 hours since I’ve been awake. He should be awake pretty soon; you think to yourself. Here you were, perched on the kitchen stool, an empty bowl of cereal in front of you, waiting for your boyfriend to wake up so you could cuddle. When you first woke up, you had hoped you would fall back asleep immediately, even though that rarely happened for you, so you didn’t even think of cuddling. But when you realized you would not fall asleep, you decide to get up and go about your day, already looking forward to your afternoon’s nap. All you did was settle down on your couch and put on your favorite show – The Vampire Diaries and around 9am, when hungriness settled down in the pit of your stomach, you got up and made yourself a bowl of cereal. You don’t know what triggered your need to hug your boyfriend – maybe the chill air that settled in your apartment as winter is coming closer or maybe the fact that you haven’t seen him a lot lately, but all you have been thinking about since then was him. Him and his arms enveloping you. Him and his scent making your head spin. Him and his fingers playing with your hair. Him, him, him. Now, you could have woken him up but knowing he came back home around 2 am – as he was out drinking with Jeonghan – you didn’t find it in you to ruin his sleep.

“10:30 am – he really should be awake by now,” you say out loud before you hear the water running in your bathroom. You slowly lean and peek at your hallway only to see Joshua walk down towards you – more like, towards the kitchen, his hair sticking out in weird angles while he rubs the sleep away from his eyes.

“Sweetheart,” he calls out to you once he gets closer, “Since when have you been awake?” he asks, worries written all over his face. He knows how much you struggle with sleeping.

“I woke up around 5,” you mumble as he starts making himself a cup of coffee. At your words he turns around to look at you, gives up on his coffee and comes around the kitchen bar.

“Oh babe,” he says, his hands reaching for your face, cupping your cheeks gently, “Is it because of me? Did I wake you up?” he questions, his eyes searching yours for an answer.

“No, you’re fine. You know how it gets for me sometimes,” you reassure him, your hands holding on his wrists.

“Okay, okay,” he says, “What can I do? Do you want to stay in bed while I clean around? Today is cleaning day, right?” he asks, trying to come up with a way to make today easier for you.

“Well, cleaning day is reported to tomorrow,” you chuckle, lighting up the situation, “but there’s something I’d really like,” you mumble, trying to work up the courage to ask him for cuddles.

“Yes, tell me. Anything for you,” he nods, his hands now resting on your neck, his fingers playing with the little hair at the back of your head.

“You promise you won’t make fun of me?” you ask him, holding out your hand in a pinky promise.

“Of course. I promise I won’t make fun of you,” he states, as he meets your hand in the same promise, a glint of mischievousness appearing in his eyes, “You want cuddles, don’t you?” he asks in a smile.

“How did you know?” you gasp, not knowing what could have given you up. But truly, Joshua knew as soon as he looked at you. He couldn’t pin point what gave you away either but he’s sure it’s there somewhere, in your shiny eyes, in your slight pout or maybe it’s the way your body is leaning into his, faster, closer, than usual.

“You always ask me to not make fun of you before asking for cuddles,” he chuckles, trying to come up with an answer without giving away how much he loves you, “and I always tell you I will not. Never.” He says, planting a kiss on your forehead, “Especially not when you’re being so open with what you need. You know I’ll always try to provide whatever you need for you.” Okay, he thinks to himself, maybe I did give myself away with that one.

“Thank you, Josh,” you murmur, your hands finding his shirt, as you pull him towards you so he can stand between your legs, “Just like this. For a few seconds.” You tell him, your voice even quieter as you bury yourself in his chest. You feel his arms reach behind you, rubbing your head and your back in slow motion, bringing you the comfort you were wishing for. Your body slowly relaxes, your hands untighten against his shirt and your breath becomes slower, little sighs leaving you as you realize that this is feeling rested. This is what love feels like. This is what home feels like.

“Feels good?” he whispers, his hand now drawing circles on your back, your response coming in the form of a nod, “You want to move to the couch?” he asks as you mumble yes against his shirt, slowly leaving his embrace. You look up at him, your eyes meeting as he reaches for your face, slowly coming closer to your lips. Just as you close your eyes and your lips are about to meet, he whispers something about the couch and suddenly you’re hoisted up in the air, his arms around you.

“There we go, baby,” he says as he kisses your forehead, blush creeping on your cheeks at how much he’s covering you with love, “Hold on tight,” he whispers, your arms finding rest on his shoulders as he holds you closer to his chest.

He slowly makes his way to the couch, the slight movement of his steps almost lulling you to sleep, to that state you always struggle to find on your own. And yet with him, it’s so easy. So easy you find yourself sleepier than before, as Joshua sets you down on the couch, his arms open to allow you the rest you deeply deserve. Your cheek is pressed against his chest, his heart like a lullaby to you while he strokes your hair out of your face.

“You’re good now?” he whispers as he plants another kiss on your head.

“Hm, yeah. Thank you, love,” you whisper, already feeling sleepier than a few minutes ago as he strokes your back.

“Please, don’t thank me,” he starts, “always come find me when you can’t sleep, okay? Call me and I’ll come running. Tell me and I’ll drop everything. Wake me up whenever and I will give every ounce of sleep to you.” he says, your eyes looking up at him, “You need to promise me, okay?” he asks, his hand already out in a pinky promise.

“I swear,” you answer, your hand locking his into a promise. You take a hold of his hand quick enough, playing with his fingers before you start leaving kisses on his open palm, his knuckles, the tip of his fingers, “I love you.” you whisper as you let his hand down, your fingers still intertwined.

“I know,” he says quietly, his eyes filled with something you can’t describe. Perhaps it is love. “I love you too. So much.” He tells you, sealing his love with a kiss on your hand as your eyes feel heavier than before, sleep and warmth slowly invading your body.

It’s when you feel your body getting heavier, Joshua’s heart beats fading in the background as his hand never stop rubbing your back that you realize you should have added cuddles with Joshua as a crucial part of your night routine. No matter how many tips you will try to sleep better – earplugs, sleeping masks, white noise music, nothing will ever compare to Joshua and the comfort, rest and love he brings you. And maybe after a few years, you’ll be able to only have one step in your night routine.

thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it 🫶

[starlightsalvatore]

salvation / klaus mikaelson x reader

heyooo - dabbling with a klaus fic hehe - should I do a part two for what they get up to after this? lmk!! and as always lmk what you think :) writing for the vampire diaries is very new to me so any feedback is appreciated! 

salvation / klaus mikaelson x reader

summary: after a deadly encounter with a werewolf, an old ‘friend’ comes to your rescue

word count: 1.3k (short and sweet!) 

warnings: mentions of blood, mentions of death, typical tvdu stuff

You shivered as Damon wrapped his blankets around you, gently sitting beside you as he held a blood bag up to your lips, which you accepted gratefully and sucked down rather feverishly. “Can I get you anything?” he asked, those intense blue eyes swimming with more emotion than you’d ever seen.

You softly shook your head, “the only thing you can do for me is to stop looking at me like that,” you whispered and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Alright, Miss Conceited, I’m not looking at you like anything,” he teased and you chuckled though it was immediately followed by a wince as pain reverberated through every nerve ending. “You should get some rest, okay? I’ll come check on you in a little bit.” You nodded as he left, letting out an exhale when you were finally alone for the first time since it all happened. You were putting on a brave face for everyone else, assuring Elena you were going to be okay and making her promise she wouldn’t come by the house for her own safety and you’d kept your goodbyes brief, joking throughout… saying things like it’s a miracle I haven’t died sooner, don’t look so sad, but in reality you were terrified. You weren’t ready, your life felt so... unfinished. You hadn’t truly loved anyone yet or even been loved, things were far too chaotic to even think about having a love life. The furthest you’d ever been from Mystic Falls was a family road trip to Texas for a reunion your parents dragged you to just before they both died. 

Your dreams felt muddled, a mix of childhood memories and moments with your friends when shit wasn’t hitting the fan… it genuinely felt like your life was flashing before your eyes as you slept and you awoke suddenly unrested and straining to hear a voice on the other side of the door. “You know, one voicemail works just as well as a dozen.” It couldn’t be.

“No…” you muttered as the door opened, shifting to sit upright but failing as you grunted in pain, watching the blonde man slowly walk towards you and settle beside you. “No, this isn’t real, this is a hallucination.”

“I’m afraid I’m very real,” he replied, accent thick as he looked down at you and you poked his arm, stunned to find it wasn’t an apparition.

“Nope, this is- this is Stefan, or Damon and my brain is just playing some really evil twisted joke on me,” you coughed out.

“I’m offended, love. I’ve traveled all this way just to see you and you liken me to the Salvatore brothers,” he said and you blinked a few times as you accepted he really was here. “Playing with werewolves, are we?” he asked, fingers delicately brushing your shirt aside to reveal the mark just above your collarbone.

“Thought it was a golden retriever,” you rasped and he chuckled.

“Your friends downstairs were very adamant in my coming to save you,” he said and you smiled softly.

“Is that what you’re here to do, Klaus? Or are you going to dangle salvation in front of me before making a ridiculous demand?” you asked and he smirked. He always found you amusing, if not annoying at times, there was a point in which you had him completely wrapped around your finger… something you exploited to the benefit of you and your friends whenever it suited you. And he let you, time and time again, because the moments in which you’d allow him to be within your orbit, or accept the countless gifts he left at your doorstep gave him a glimmer of hope that one day you’d let him give you more. He wanted to show you the world, but you’d extinguished any of that hope he’d had by slamming the door in his face the last time you saw each other.

“I’m here to save your life if you’ll let me,” he answered and you almost rolled your eyes. 

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch, love. I’m just here out of the kindness of my heart,” he said and now you did roll your eyes.

“Come on, Klaus. I know you better than that. There’s no such thing as the kindness of your heart because it’s cold and dead,” you shot back. “What do you want?” Your tenacity with him was always the most intriguing, you challenged him… made him want to be better but unfortunately with you it seemed there was nothing he could do to win you over.

“Perhaps I do want something, the question is if your life is worth obliging my simple request?” he proposed.

“Please do drag this out further, it’s not like I’m on a clock here,” you coughed out. 

“I want you to take me up on my previous offer… in exchange my blood is as good as yours,” he said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“My answer is the same as it was then.”

“I’m afraid there’s no door for you to slam in my face, love. Would you really rather die than allow me the honor of showing you the world?” he asked and you didn’t miss the way hurt seeped into his tone, though he was trying his best to hide it. 

“Yes,” you answered, voice wavering.

“Perhaps I should let you suffer, consider it a delayed punishment for your continual disrespect,” he said and you chuckled.

“Then go ahead, Klaus. Doors over there,” you said, wincing as you shifted your position. “You never had any intention of saving my life,” you accused and now the hurt was clear as day on his face.

“Do you really think so low of me?” he asked and you shook your head.

“I don’t think of you at all.” you answered, hoping he wouldn’t see right through you.

“If that’s what you’d like,” he responded and as he stood to leave you’d never been more unsure, questioning if this was the right way to play it. Just as he reached the door frame you doubled over in a coughing fit, leaning over the side of the bed as blood dribbled from your mouth and he felt physical pain at the sight. He was back by your side in an instant, tugging you into him and placing his arm in front of you. “Drink, please.” You looked up at him through your lashes, but he just nodded, eyes pleading with you and you let your fangs sink into the skin of his wrist. With each gulp you felt your energy restore and the pain disappear. As you drank he brushed your shirt aside again to watch the wound heal for himself. 

You pulled away but didn’t make any move to leave his lap, allowing him to keep his arms around you for a moment… but just a moment before you leaned back, “three months.” you said suddenly and you saw an emotion you’d never really seen from him… confusion. 

“What?” he asked and you smirked.

“You had your terms, I’m negotiating,” you answered and you watched realization settle across his features.

“What changed your mind?” He couldn’t stop his smile from spreading into a grin.

“I was bluffing,” you said and his grin faltered. “Yet, you still gave me your blood without forcing me to comply… maybe that heart of yours isn’t as cold and dead as I thought.”

“I thought you didn’t think of me?” he asked and you shrugged.

“Maybe I do. You get three months, no more no less… that’s the deal,” you said, sticking your hand out for him to shake and when he grasped it he yanked you a little closer.

“Once we get started you’ll be begging me for more time,” he said with a smirk.

“Well, that’s up to you to prove it worth my time… but that’s all I’m promising.” 

“That’s all I need, love.”

taglist: @caseysalvatore @minalblood​ (if you only meant to be tagged in my damon fics please let me know and I’ll adjust which taglist you’re on!)

[danganronpa96]

Hold on I'll ask a few but not a lot since I don't wanna be annoying lol.

Idk I have a fangan with these characters but the show is sadly underrated but have you watched 101 Dalmatian Street? Really good show, really good characters, really cute art. Really scary finale.

There was a question asked in the Penguinronpa QnA, two actually, and I wanted to ask these questions. Since 96 isn't complete you can just do like the characters slash chapters you've done up til then or just do 69 only.

For each character, what would they have contributed if they lasted longer in the story. Like the role. Antag, development, support, that one character who does nothing but survives anyway, etc

What's one thing for each chapter you'd go back and redo, if there was one thing for each chapter?

Sorry for question count I'm a very questiony guy. Also yes, this is York the guy who gave Bojack-o-lattern a ton of nicknames. Also I've watched some of Breaking Bad and watched Saiki K almost all of Season 1 (dubbed). Both are really fucking good. There's an Ao Oni movie apparently but the demon design is apparently bad, wait shit I'm rambling. Let me stop now.

1. I haven’t watched it myself, but as long as you enjoy the show yourself and the characters you’re writing, then that’s great! As long as you’re passionate, you could even convince others to check it out

As these other answers are kinda long, I’m gonna put them under the cut ↓ ↓ ↓

2. I’ll answer this for DR69 as it’s easier as that story is already finished.

Mr. Krabs - probably would’ve taken on an arc of greed or teamwork that would’ve reflected into Luigi in some way

Mario - would’ve taken on a very tight-knit support role for Luigi, perhaps helping him come out of his shell and befriend anyone Luigi would

Dedede - as a comical character in the story, it would’ve been funny if he did get access to a hammer or something and tried to break down a wall, only for it to actually lead them to somewhere useful (or makes a hole that a killer could utilise for a murder case)

Ashley - like a mentioned in a very previous post, she would’ve had an arc of coming out of her comfort zone and making more friends, gaining some confidence on the side to confide in others. She would probably become a close friend to Luigi, who takes on a similar type of parental role he does with Parappa (as one single man can never have too many kids)

2D - I’d like to think we’d get to see him perform at some point. Either as a performance with Miku and Teto, or maybe on his own without the cosmetics and show lights, singing to someone who needs the motivation

Peter - I won’t lie, I don’t particularly want Peter to be an endgame character, even in an alternative timeline. I think he’d continue to just be a comic relief character tho, just not so loudly during the darker parts as we get later into the story

Sans - If Sans was alive longer, sansmaeda would be able to be explored more than just during the trial and some parts before. Perhaps the relationship would cause some problems with trust, or it would change the dynamic of the group in someway (as the first sort of relationship they’ve been accustomed to). On his own, I think he’d begin to actually care about investigating himself and find some pretty useful things

Fluttershy - for Fluttershy, she’d be able to spread her kindness a lot further from when she died. Since she had her own doubts herself, however (seen in her diary), it would’ve been a good opportunity for her to receive help from others rather than just being so selfless. Also, she would’ve been able to share her drawings herself, allowing her to explain her creative process and see the others' reactions to her art

Brian - if Brian was persuaded to keep going, he’d have no regrets, more easily able to accept certain strange things and focus on what’s most important: saving everyone else. I think he’d often try to be self-sacrificial, but others would convince him they all need to stay alive together

3. I’ll continue to answer this with just DR69.

Chap 1 - add more events to the daily life. It felt kinda short, even if it was my first ever dangan chapter, and it would’ve been nice to see more events with the whole cast before one bit the dust. I’d like to see them all do something together -- maybe find a way to escape even if it backfires.

Chap 2 - this is more of a technical thing, but I accidentally forgot to have one of the three practicing the play (either The Conductor, Miku or Teto) mention they were rehearing in Classroom 1-A and not the performance hall during the night of the 2nd murder. This led to some theories believing the latter, which made me feel a bit guilty as it led some theories the wrong way.

Chap 3 - I mentioned before I wanted to also add more events to the daily life of ch3. However, I’d probably remove that um. Luigi having to be a real plumber for Peter scene because it was just gross and I only did it because I thought some people would find it funny I guess?? Like it’s not the worst thing ever but I don’t like stooping to toilet level humour often.

Chap 4 - for this chapter, I think I’d want to justify why Sans killed Peter himself. While taking on a selfless act as he didn’t want Nagito to die is alright, just Peter making fun of Papyrus doesn’t really reflect why Sans would get so mad. However, this was actually because in a very old plan I had, Peter had actually killed Papyrus himself (idk how or why but he did) and that confession would be what had led Sans into killing him. I mean I guess it could’ve been possible in a prequel type thing but it would make things more messy (also impossible considering Papyrus is alive for the albeit dead sequel)

Chap 5 - I think I would add more moments of Luigi seeing Parappa hanging out with Brian and trying to make him happy again. We only really see him trying to talk to Nagito, and not with the other two often. It would be nice to have Luigi at least know one thing they did together, making the moment it all falls apart in the trial much more harder to bear.

Chap 6 - I can’t think of much I would change here. However, I would’ve liked to add a part during the trial where Luigi reminisces on the others who have passed away, and I would add a CG of a collage of all the final moments of each character like how they did in SDR2 and NDRV3. I just think it’d look cool but painful as a reminder of all the deaths in one big image. I’d also add a CG right at the end of all 5 survivors standing together after escaping the school. I was planning to, but I got quite burned out after basically working on that final chapter so intently after such a long hiatus.

4. Hello again! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed those shows so far since I really like ‘em too. It’s nice when people check out the medias I write in my fangans!

[yubellia]

Reborn as Lila Rossi: The Fox and the caterpillar (chapter three): A new team

Hi! Welcome to chapter three. I know the last one was anticlimactic at best. However this one will be longer. So enjoy.

„Bla bla bla“

(Think think)

„Volpina OR Trixx speaking“

„Ladybug OR Tikki speaking“

„Chat Noir OR Plagg speaking“

„Hawk Moth OR Nooroo speaking“

„Akumatized person speaking.“

——————————————————

Marinette‘s pov (the morning after Mr. Pigeon attacked the city):

Marinette was woken up in the morning by Tikki who looked unsure but also excited. „So…. let me get this straight. This giant bread yesterday was an illusion. Like you already suspected. And it was created by the fox miraculous.“ Marinette was busy organizing her school supplies while saying that. „Yes. We did not talk about this before so far but you must know that the your miraculous was given to you. It did not just appear in your bag. It’s the same here. The master did not go into too much detail. However, he said that this new miraculous user earned it and that we can trust her. Also I am supposed to lead you to him soon.“ Marinette was not convinced by this. „But why did she not show herself to us? Or come to us after that? And what did you say about us meeting her later?“ Tikki flew over to the table. Last night Master Fu came to them to talk to Tikki. He wrote down an address for a meeting. „Master said she feared that you could see her as an enemy. That’s why she asked the master to approach both me and Plagg first, so that we can tell you and Chat Noir about this. To break the ice.“ Marinette took the piece of paper. It was outside of town. The factory area. „Ok. If the person who gave me and Chat Noir the miraculous, then we should at least hear what she has to say. What did you say is her Name?“ Marinette was ready for school. After that, they would meet this new hero. Tikki, like always flew into her purse. „She calls herself Volpina.“

In school:

It was a mostly normal day at school. I greeted Alya, Nino, Adrien and Marinette. We pretty much were together for most of the day. It was during lunch when more students joined us. Rose sat next to me and started to question me. „Hey Lila? Since you are from Italy, why did you move here? Moving to a different country sound difficult.“ (ok. Here we go. Stick to your story.) I put a sad smile on my face. „Well, my mother works for the Italian embassy. Not the first time I have to move. You get used to it.“ That got me some concerned and sympathetic looks from my classmates. Those on the desk next to us are listening too. Juleka, who sat next to Rose spoke up now. „And your farther? Isn’t this difficult for him too?“ (ok. Time to expand my story.) „My parents are divorced. I haven’t seen him since I was five years old I think.“ This got me more sympathy from those around me. Rose looked a little guilty. „Oh. I‘m sorry Lila. I did not want to bring up any bad memories.“ Alya joined in now as well. „That must have been pretty hard. It sounds like you have been alone a lot.“

Alya sat next to Marinette and I made sure not to say too much. I can‘t have Marinette think anything bad about me. Not yet. However she had the same look of sympathy on her face as the others. „Sometimes. But I saw some pretty places. I admit that going to school was not always easy but Mom promised that this time, we would be staying. And Rose? Don‘t feel bad ok? I am over it. No bad memories.“ Everything seemed fine after that. I just saw Chloe and Sabrina sitting on another table. Chloe did not look too happy. (I wonder what’s going on in her head.)

To make sure Trixx stayed close, I started to wear a bag around my hip with a belt. Unfortunately this is necessary. If I remember correctly, Chloe has no problem taking other people’s stuff. Marinette‘s diary being proof of that.

I spend the rest of the day close to Marinette and the others. Mostly to make sure that they did not think anything bad about me. If someone asked why I did that, I could just say that it’s my second day and I just thought they were nice. Alya talked a little about what happened yesterday. It seems that many people are wondering where that giant bread came from. At least a video Alya showed us said so. Alya started to come up with theories. Asking if maybe this was a new power ladybug got. Or maybe it was supposed to be a distraction from Hawk Moth. Marinette just patted her shoulder, getting a little nervous. „I am sure, whatever it is, Ladybug and Chat Noir will deal with it. If it is something serious, maybe they will warn us about it.“ Alya got that spark in her eyes. „Oh I hope I can talk to Ladybug the next time something happens! The people of Paris have to know the truth if it is something dangerous!“

And there we go. Marinette dug herself a little hole there. Now she has no choice but to give Alya an interview for that blog of hers. Well that’s her problem. Not mine. I try to think of how to approach Ladybug and Chat Noir later. Master Fu did tell them about me. But I can’t know how they react. While I am thinking, Alya tries to get my attention. „Lila? Any plans for today? I could show you Paris a little. And tell you about all the things Ladybug did so far.“ I smile. I am sure she means well but the two of us surely won‘t become best friends. „Sorry Alya. I am still not done unpacking and I am still trying to catch up with everything at school. Maybe another day?“ Alya looks like I told her something obvious. Like I just said that the earth is round. „Oh yeah. Right. It’s not like you moved here a month ago. But we have to hang out eventually!“ I agree with her. Mostly to shut her up.

While I am rushing home, I start to wonder why Chloe seems so quiet today. I am sure that she must be planning something. Maybe a nasty prank. Or she could be having trouble herself.

Once I reach my room, I let Trixx out of my bag and hand him some grapes. I made sure my mother really is gone. Not much of a surprise. „Ready for your meeting with Ladybug and Chat Noir? You have been thinking about it since yesterday.“ „Yes. I think I will not approach them too directly. I probably should be as honest as I can and don‘t tell them too much.“ After I put my schoolbooks down and pack some grapes in a small lunchbox, I decided that it’s time to leave.

„Ok Trixx. Time to go.“ Trixx goes back into my bag and I write a note to my mother. Just in case, that she does come back early.

I decided that I would not just transform and rush to the place we planned to meet each other. Instead I use the buses to look normal. I only transformed after I arrived close to where we would meet and after I made sure to have a safe spot where nobody could see me. „Trixx! Let’s pounce!“

Close to an abandoned warehouse

I hide behind some boxes and only hear the voices of Ladybug and Chat Noir approaching. „Soooo… what do you think this Volpina will be like my lady?“ I did not have to see them to know that Ladybug rolled her eyes at that. „If we knew, we would not be here. Instead we could meet like normal people. Our Kwamis claim that we should be able to trust her so that is all we have now.“

I took that as my signal to come out behind them.

„Cautious as always Ladybug. Very good.“ Both of them turned around abruptly and looked me up and down. I did not need them to ask. Instead I just introduced myself. „I am Volpina. Your new comrade and wielder of the fox miraculous. It’s a pleasure to meet you.“ since I had my normal grown up body, both of them had to look up to me a little. „So… if you helped us yesterday, why did you not show yourself right away?“

I saw some questions coming but I thought their kwamis told them already. „Because the timing could not have been worse. It would have been pretty suspicious if I showed up just like that. Wouldn’t it? Also my power of illusions is not as offensive as yours. I have a flute as a weapon and I’m still trying to figure out close combat. I decided that it would be better to meet you in privat. That and you need to meet the master sooner or later anyway. Also, I have something that you don‘t. Good enough as an answer?“

Ladybug stepped closer now and I saw that she still hat questions. „What exactly is it that we lack in your opinion? Information? Power? We did pretty well so far without it.“ Ups. Looks like I struck a nerve. „Don‘t take that as an insult. I am talking about the fact, that Hawk Moth has been playing pretty ‚fair‘ so far. Let me explain. I am talking about the timer. You use your power once and in five minutes after that, you transform back. Hawk Moth does not do that and I don‘t do it either. Did your Kwamis tell you why?“ Ladybug calmed down a little. It was Chat Noir who took this next question.

„isn’t that for our protection? That’s what Plagg said at least. I thought that’s just how it works.“ I shake my head and start walking to the warehouse. „That’s where you are wrong. It is normal for you, because you are young. Adults like Hawk Moth or myself don‘t have to do that. We also can use our power more than once. Turning back after using your power is a mechanism to protect younger miraculous users. And to make sure you don‘t misuse or abuse that power. Once you are an adult, not necessarily physically but also mentally, that will no longer be a problem. You will be able to use your powers multiple times. You know what I mean with that?“

Ladybug had a moment of realization which left her kind of depressed. „So what you are saying is, that Hawk Moth could do much more and much worse if he wanted to? Is there no way to work around this?“ Now it’s my turn to shake my head. „So far? No. This mechanism is supposed to protect you because the miraculous pulls energy from our kwamis and us. People who are too young to handle that are supposed to be protected by that. That’s why you could need any help you can get. Hawk Moth has been patient before but in theory, there is nothing stopping him from akumatizing more than one person. I belief that he will grow inpatient sooner or later.“

I decided not to tell them about how to turn the timer off. It would include using their powers for bad things or selfishly, so they probably won‘t get that idea on their own. They will get their power sooner or later. „So Hawk Moth could launch a big attack any day and we would be forced to take breaks? There is nothing we can do to help these people?“ I smile at them but shake my head again. „Not yet. Thats why you need help. Someone to buy you some time. That is also why I did not reveal myself yesterday. If Hawk Moth knew you have someone that won’t transform back, it might push him to become more aggressive in what he is doing.“

Not really a lie but not quite the truth either. I could tell Ladybug about her creation power but where would be the fun in that? It would only be a disadvantage for me in the end.

While the mood was at its lowest, we heard a loud rumbling back in the town and a cloud of smoke. „And it sounds like Hawk Moth is working extra hours this week. We should go.“

We hurry to get back to the center of of the City.

Ladybug and Chat Noir go ahead while I stay behind. Paris gets overrunning plants. The other day, our *wonderful* mayor had the idea to destroy an area with gardens you can rent. Why? Because he had this idea for new buildings. Of course he did not consult anyone for this. Like always. One of the people who would loose their garden for this is Hawk Moths new follower.

„The tyranny of humans ends today! Surrender Ladybug and Chat Noir! I am MotherNature! First I’ll take revenge on this good for nothing mayor, than I take your miraculous and than I’ll change the world!“

At her command, giant vines spread through the streets. Ladybug and Chat Noir stayed on the rooftops. The Mayor got trapped in a cocoon of vines, while MotherNature laughed.

„This is horrible! The moment we deal with one vine, at least ten will follow! What do we do?“

Taking a closer look, MotherNatures plants did not come out of nowhere. Hawk Moth did not give her the power to make new plants. Just the power to control plants that already exist.

„I think I know. We need poison to deal with these plants. Burning them is out of the question. Ladybug, focus. You might think that your lucky charm gives you a random object, but you can influence what you get. Focus on something that can destroy these plants. Or maybe something that helps us get Chat Noir to the main plant. He can destroy it than.“

Ladybug nodded and looks at her Jo-jo. It looks like she was uncertain but than she collects herself.

„Lucky Charm!“

A swarm of ladybugs came out of the Jo-jo and formed three bottles. Each of us caught one. „I hope there is something in here that helps us.“

I got an idea. Ladybugs Timer was ticking now. We need to hurry. „Let’s split up. I go get mister Bourgeois and you go for MotherNature.“

Both of them knew that they had to hurry. They nodded and went to confront MotherNature and find her Akuma. I meanwhile stayed hidden and took out my flute. (I only should be able to create illusions but maybe if I push harder, I can do more. Nobody knew about Ladybugs protection charms. Until she tried it that is.) So I started playing and playing and playing. I kept playing and the light at the end grew brighter. I stopped and directed it at myself „Mirage!“ I kept my eyes closed for a moment but when I opened them, I could mostly see through myself. Not completely but close enough if you don‘t look for me. (The illusion of invisibility. Good enough.)

I started to approach the cocoon that holds mister bourgeois captive. I did not use the poison since I would need it and did not want to draw much attention. I heard MotherNature screaming and saw Ladybug using the bottle on some plants. As I jumped over the rooftops, trying to get closer, I noticed that so far, the illusion did not disappear. Despite me touching stuff.

With one final jump, I landed on the cocoon. The plant shifted and anotherNature looked in my direction for a moment but Chat Noir distracted her.

Carefully, I started pouring the liquid on the cocoon. The vines turned dark and smoke appeared. After a moment, i saw mister Bourgeois face. Not seeing anything, he got scared and wanted to scream but i put my hand over his mouth. The illusion stayed stable and I whispered to him. „Don‘t be scared sir. I get you out of here. Just stay quiet.“ he nodded and I removed my hand. I started to pour the liquid over the vines that hold him. The mayor spoke in a scared hushed voice. „Are you a hero too?“ realizing that he can‘t see me nodding, I had to speak again. „Yes sir. I work with ladybug. But no one can know. So forgive me for not telling you my name.“ the last vine came off and I grabbed mayor bourgeois to pull him out and get him down.

The air smelled terrible by now because of the plants and the poison we use to kill them. I took him across the rooftops and than down to the ground. While doing that, I heard MotherNature scream again. This time in anger. She must have noticed that the mayor is gone.

I hurried back to Ladybug and Chat Noir. „Where is her Akuma?“ Both were surprised but did not question it.

„We think it is in her bouquet. She uses it to control the plants. Let’s attack together and than you can use the bottle to destroy it.“

We start one more frontal attack and i sneak around to get her from the side. Ladybug and Chat Noir use what is left to distract her, so that I can snatch her bouquet away. „No! Give that back whoever you are!“

I ripped the bouquet apart and the Akuma appeared. Ladybug started use her Jo-jo again. „Time to de evilize!“

The butterfly was caught and released after it was purified. „Bye bye little butterfly.“ Chat Noir and I came closer to give our bottles to Ladybug. She took the lucky charms and threw them up in the air. „Miraculous Ladybug!“ A giant swarm of ladybugs spreads out across Paris and fixes everything. The plants are gone and MotherNature turned back into who she was. Indeed a lady who owns one of these gardens that were supposed to be destroyed. The air was also purified and the bad smell was gone.

I left before anyone could ask questions. My illusion still in tact. Ladybug took a moment to recharge before she approached mayor Bourgeois. A few journalists gathered too. It was Alya who ignored them all and asked a question. „Ladybug! Chat Noir! How did you manage help mayor Bourgeois and fight MotherNature at the same time? And can you tell us what happened yesterday?“ Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other. Mister Bourgeois looked uncertain too. Meanwhile I stood in an alleyway, where Ladybug could see me now. I took the illusion down. I gave her a sign to keep it vague. „Well, you see, we didn’t. Since yesterday, we have help. Because of Hawk Moth, they wish to stay anonymous and we respect that. When or if they wish to reveal themselves, they will. Just know that there is someone else looking out for us all now. Ok? That big bread was them too.“

The journalists did not really look happy with that answer but did not ask any more questions.

I backed away and found a nice place to transform back before I ran home, with Trixx in my pocket. When I reached my room, I collapsed on my bed. „Ahhhh! Damn, what a day!“ looking back up, I saw Trixx floating to a plate with grapes on it. „Trixx? How are you holding up?“ Trixx ate a grape before he turned around and answered. „Depends. I am doing pretty good. Not too exhausted. But I can‘t help but wonder how you did that out there.“ I looked at him. I knew what Trixx was talking about. „Well I just pushed a little harder. I guess if you lie good enough, or keep up that facade for a long time, it can become reality. Also don‘t forget, even the guardians don‘t know everything about the miraculous or the Kwami. This gives us so many new options.“ Trixx floated back to me on the bed. „Maybe. But please be careful. Whatever it is you are planning.“

-somewhere else-

„I can‘t believe they did it again! And now they even have a new hero on their side! Just wait Ladybug and Chat Noir. You and your new friend can‘t keep fighting forever!“

——————————————————

There we have it! A new chapter. Longer and with more action than the last. I hope you liked it. I am sorry for any mistakes I made while writing this.

Also, I changed the title a little. Knowing myself, I thought it would be easier if people can see something like ‚isekai story‘ right at the start.

Anyway, I hope you liked it and maybe I see you again in the next chapter.

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

AHWM - A Voicemail to the Escaped Prisoner

Another year had passed. By now, you were far removed from being an escaped convict. In fact, you were sure that the powers of the box had shifted things in such a way that there was memory of you being in prison, but not of you escaping. It made it a lot easier to keep in contact with Yancy and other members of the gang, and it was your mission to visit when you could, or write letters to continue being a reliable outside companion. Once Yancy had revealed his intentions to seek parole, no matter how strict it would be for him, you promised to be there.

Which was why you were fuming to see that in the short time you left your phone alone to have a shower, there was a missed call from Happy Trails. It was one of the prisoner phones, which didn’t allow external numbers to call in. Your chance to talk to him had been missed, and you were ready to kick your chair in frustration. But then, your phone lit up again.

“1 New Voicemail.”

The intended target of your frustrations was instead whisked out so you could sit down and open the voicemail.

-

"Hey. Sorry I couldn't give youse a proper heads up. Kinda the problem with the prison phone thing since there ain’t no way for youse to call back.” 

You rolled your eyes, but there was a fond smile. At least he knew the problems. 

“I felt a bit impulsive, y'know? Had a hunch youse would be busy round abouts now, but it's okay! I paid for the call, so I'm gonna use all this time talking bullshit until youse is begging for me to hang up!

Heh. Okay, maybe I ain't gonna be that bad. 

I know we's agreed that if I was gonna call that we was to arrange it when you visits. But I noticed the date. It's October 30th. That's when youse crashed into the prison like a bat outta hell and turned the place upside down, see. Don't think I could forget that day even if I tried. An’ it’s on a Sunday this year. Not the third Sunday, but close enough. 

It's kinda crazy to know we've known each other that long. And if I'm honest? Well, uh…

Thank you.”

Your eyes widened, only for your expression to relax into something softer. It wasn’t often Yancy let down his guard like this.

“F-for sticking with me, I mean. For doing youses' best to visit on a third Sunday. I know it ain't been every month, but you gots important stuff to do, and I always said I don't ever wanna make you feel like youse is under some sorta obligation. And I'm so damn proud of youse for having things to do. Once we got to talking that day and I seen you had more going on….Well, uh, I'm glad I helped out how I could. It wouldn't have been right for you to be stuck in a place like this. Not when you needed to be out there to show them what youse is made of. 

Oh! That reminds me. I had my first meeting with a parole officer the other day. From what I heard, I thought this was gonna be easy. Like, put youse’s name on a form and off you goes? Nah. The officer told me it’s gonna be a long-as-fuck run. The application itself is wordy, and I needs to get references from some of the staff so they’s can back me up whenever I gets to the Parole Board. And even then, she said I need to make doubly sure they know I ain’t who I used to be. So she gave me a calendar, and I’m to cross off each day where I don’t cause trouble of any sort. No scraps, no backtalk, no nothing. I don’t even carry a weapon no more, and you knows I always had a habit of being armed. I’m nearly at a week, and y’know what? It’s way more rewarding than I thought it’d be. I even got a little notebook from the PO so I could write my thoughts each day, like some sorta diary. It’s a bit weird, since I don’t usually do that, but, uh… It helps, I think. Haven’t felt as irritated ‘bout stuff these last few days.

And the classes! Fuck! If I’d known I’d need to sign up to extra classes to learn ‘bout budgets and shit, I would’ve delayed! Well, at least I got ‘bout a year before I see the board. It’s all gibberish to me right. Here’s hoping there ain’t no math test or whatever as part of the process, ‘cause I ain’t getting my toosh outta here if that’s th’ case.”

A familiar automated voice interrupts to announce there were only two minutes left in the call, and Yancy groaned in disappointment. You found yourself doing the same.

“Ah fuck. Knew I should’ve brought more change. Look… Send me a letter when you gets this, ‘kay? I still got some cash from recent shifts so I can pay for another call. It’d be nice to have something like this, but we might be best arrangin’ it next time youse is in. 

And hey. Don’t let anyone down there beat youse down, ‘kay? Youse ain’t the fool who tried to fly a plane with no experience. Youse is cool as fuck. And if people don’t see that, lemme know. I can’t kick their ass no more, but I can give ‘em a stern talking to. Ain’t no one allowed to mess with people I care about.

See youse in November! Third Sunday is the, uh - hey, what date’s next visitation? - The 20th!”

You already knew the date, as every visitation day was circled in blue on your calendar, but he did make a request of you. You turned to your desk and begin pulling out your notebook and pen. You have a letter to write!

[collectingsparechangemadeeasy1]

Diary Entries of Ozpin Valiant

So I wanted to do these little “interlude” type things, just snippets into the thoughts and feeling and past of Oz! Hope you enjoy!

To begin, my name is Ozpin Valiant. I am writing in this diary for my sake and my sake alone. My friend Glynda has told me to write in this and to be honest. I trust her, she is a good person. Took a heartless wretch like me in. Now let’s see… where to start?

I was born in Vacuo, December 24, 1989. Today's date is April 12, 2015 and I live in the city and country of Vale. I am currently 28 years of age and I have a 1 year old son named Oscar.

Well he’s not MY son. He’s the son of my sister, my best friend a very good friend. They died last year. I miss her. I can’t say the name yet. Or even look at it. It’s… too raw. Sorry Glynda, you’ll have to forgive me for that. Maybe one day but… not yet. Gods… She was so young, Oscar was barely a month old when she died… How unfair is that? A decent person like her should die, but some horrible old sack oh shit like me lives? How cruel destiny can be…

Anyways!

I am living with my friend Glynda! She and I were very close as children, but when I started trying dust… she and I got into a huge fight. I regret it now, regret trying those blasted drugs, regret screaming at her, leaving my mother… She’s dead now. My mother is dead and I didn’t even know. How horrible is that? That she and I used to be so close, she was my best friend, I was her world and… I didn’t even go to her funeral. I didn’t even know there was a funeral! 

Glynda said she’d take me to the grave another time. I don’t know if I’m ready. I broke that woman's heart when I left her home. I feel so awful… she deserved a better son than me. One who would have been by her side, held her hand as she left this world… Maybe I’ll see her ghost! That’s not uncommon and she was a pretty strong magic user! They usually have ghosts!

~

Journal Entry #2 Ozpin Valiant

Date December 25, 2015

I really gave this up quickly. Of course things have been a bit… Well, no. They haven’t been hectic, I just didn’t want to write. Honesty and all that, right? Well, things have changed a bit! I’m helping Glynda in her shop more! Potions aren’t my strong suit, but she lets me help with the simple stuff, and I’m very good at finding ingredients! Living on a farm will do that!

I wonder how my brothers are, and my fathers. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them. I suppose I should put their names down for posterity's sake. Heh, have you ever noticed how close that word is to posterior?  Posterity, posterior? Ha! I am such a child… Anywhosles!

My brothers are as follows. The oldest Ozma Valiant, he is 2 years older than me and should be 31! Ha! He’s old. 

I miss him.

The other brother is the second oldest! Which yes. Means I’m the baby. If you couldn’t tell already. His name is Ozmund Valiant, but everyone calls him Diggs! It’s a childhood nickname, since he used to be obsessed with digging holes when we were little. He should be 30 now. Actually that reminds me!

I’m officially 29 years old as of yesterday! Happy belated birthday! I didn’t really do anything, I haven’t really celebrated my birthday in a long time. But it was nice spending the day with Glynda and Oscar. Oscar is growing so much everyday it’s incredible! He took his first steps a week ago! I’m so proud of him! He was trying to walk to me for a hug and I will admit, I cried. A lot. Glynda teased me for being a crybaby, but I saw her eyes! They were misty!

But back to the topic at hand! My fathers! Ozymandias and Ambrosius Valiant!

Dad, aka Mandy, as he usually prefers to be called, is 40 years older than me, which makes me 69 this year. Nice. I’m sure Papa loves teasing him about that, he always had the silliest sense of humor.

Papa, aka Amby, as he hates being referred to so we do it all the time, is 37 years older than me, which would make him 66 years old by now! Bet he doesn’t look it though, that man doesn’t age I swear. I’ve known him since the day I was born and I swear he hasn’t gotten a single gray hair or wrinkle in all that time! Not one!

I haven’t seen them in years. I didn’t realize how much I missed them. I tried not to think about them after I ran away, I was so dumb back then, but I was only 17…

Maybe I should talk to them again…

[loki-son-of-odin]

So I wanted to show a poem I got my first A on. Inspired by my mum.

The Second Drawer Down

We don’t let strangers look in the second drawer down.

The second drawer down is a Pandora’s box.

The frat boy next door has a long dusty train of unopened condoms

Next to the pile of coins covered in colonisers coppered portraits.

Used only for opening beer bottles, and lame tricks, dude.

The girl across the road has an abstract canvas of makeup powder,

And a bag of a paler variety.

A laptop, damaged and dormant, from her uni days,

Birthday candles, half burned, hair-ties, never used.

ILY, habibi. You got this girl xx

The busy woman, mate moe,

Stressed, with an infant strapped to her chest.

The second drawer down is some dense forest

Of discarded children's books and singing toys that need to retire their career.

Kia kaha, kei te pai ki a koe

The boy down the road, just like any other,

Never outside, a daisy in an otherwise groomed lawn.

His drawer is filled with socks, scribbled drawings done in dry red marker.

LEGO, put together on surprisingly late nights,

A long shoelace, an old phone.

There’s a place for you somewhere.

The girl upstairs, she’s quiet and wears funny clothes,

Though she’s only silent in hopes you will follow suit.

Her drawer is full of wires, chargers for her headphones, speakers,

And phones that she has long since lost or broken, sometimes on purpose.

Perhaps she should book that therapy she’s been talking about.

The girl three doors down, hardworking and intelligent,

Her drawer is full of old stationary, often forgotten,

Perhaps she should throw these out, but what if she needs them next year?

Or the year after? Or if someone else needs it?

Another drawer filled with old poems and literary ventures,

Containing the things she doesn’t want to say out loud,

In case the other person doesn’t want to hear it.

The guy, a short walk from here, I haven’t seen him go out in a while.

His drawers, and floors, are filled with unread books,

Filled with loose cash to purchase disposable vapes,

That linger around the room; they’ve become decor at this point.

Another drawer has a bible, and Bob Dylan CD’s, not often played.

Guitars and dirty dishes rest upon these drawers,

Until he gets that inevitable spurt of energy to do something about it.

The man at the top of the hill, he’s always in his garage.

Working on interesting projects, with the door open,

Like he’s performing for someone.

His drawers are filled with screws and bolts,

Sawdust and sandpaper,

And a picture of his family, perhaps to remind himself why he’s working,

Why he tolerates the cuts and burns.

She’ll be right, mate.

My drawer is filled with broken lighters,

A tupperware of… well, leftovers, but not the kind you’d expect.

Guitar picks for a bass, I should really get back into,

Art supplies I bought on a whim, that I won’t use, but I might!

Old essays, Nick Drake CD’s, glasses I thought would make me seem more intelligent.

A cigarette I stole from my mother, well over a year now,

God, why do we keep this stuff?

Wires, dead laptops, ribbons and mismatched chopsticks.

CD’s, old writing, socks with multiple uses,

Drugs and sex toys.

All incredibly incriminating increments of our lives.

Stuff, junk, if it was anywhere other than the second drawer down,

Would paint us as monsters, taken by temptation.

Lucifer gave us the second drawer down, for us to hide his gifts.

Gifts that help us get through modernity.

It is also the place we store our delights,

Family photos, old rulers from our favourite teachers, songs that make us sing,

Little reminders of why we still march on,

In a world sprinting at full speed.

We don’t know why we keep the things in the second drawer down,

We always think it’s junk or something for a later date, that may come in handy.

Really it is a diary of our everyday lives,

Recording every small experience, with things that we can glance at or pick up,

Which makes us whisper to ourselves,

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that”,

With a twinge of embarrassment and perhaps an undertone of joy,

Or despair.

Ashes of pets, medication from a hospital visit, a note from someone,

Who turned out to be less reliable than you thought.

All these can still hide behind the old candles and plasters,

It is how we put the past behind us,

In the most literal form we can comprehend.

-Me. 2022

[zoeisabelladaily]

Island

Dear Diary,

It’s around 3 pm in the afternoon, and I’m utterly confused. Ebonlores School is turning out to be something beyond just a school. Since this morning, I haven’t seen a single student. Those who came with me seem to have vanished into thin air. I thought I heard voices in Professor Xorki’s office, but when I entered, he was alone, engrossed in reading something. Maybe I was wrong, but I’m sure I saw students in the corridor, and suddenly, they were nowhere to be found.

Last night, at midnight, we reached a shore by the chariot. The journey through the forest felt like leaving the world behind. The chariot stopped, and following Ms. Tailholme’s orders, we disembarked. It was pitch dark outside, with spooky noises from animals and the forest air heightening my heartbeat. Ms. Tailholme lit up the Larton.

In front of me was a vast water body with an island in the distance. My mind was trying to figure out how we would reach the island without a boat or any visible means to cross. Ms. Tailholme touched the land, recited something, and suddenly, a bridge emerged from the water, connecting the shore to the island. The island’s massive door swung open. Ms. Tailholme instructed us to walk on the bridge without looking back. The door seemed tiny from the shore, but as we approached, it loomed large, like an ant in front of an elephant.

On the door, I saw the dark shadow of a statue that looked like someone standing there. As I approached the grand door of Ebonlores, the shadow turned out to be the guard of the school, “Garrick Dunewald,” the formidable gate watchman. His towering presence, wrapped in weathered cloth and adorned in robes, exuded an air of both strength and wisdom. His salt-and-pepper beard and deep eyes gave him an imposing look. In his hand, he held a device of some kind.

All the other students went inside, ignoring him. Perhaps Ms. Tailholme had ordered him to give me further directions. She went inside, leaving me alone with the watchman. In his heavy voice, he asked for my school invitation letter, which I handed over. When I inquired about the principal’s office, he didn’t answer my questions. Instead, he gave me a plain paper with my name on it, pointed to a building called “Xenon,” and out of nowhere, a building appeared on the paper. I didn’t understand what happened, but fear crept in, and I followed his direction.

I placed my finger on where he pointed on the paper and started walking. Miraculously, I saw my footprints on the paper, leading me to the building. Exhausted from the journey from the shore to the door and now to Xenon, I found a huge building with numerous doors. At the entrance, a creepy and dirty dwarf man snatched the paper from my hand and pushed me inside.

The interior was vast and dark, with fire lamps casting eerie shadows. Countless wooden beds were stacked one above the other, and some students were peacefully asleep. My screams couldn’t disturb their slumber. The roof of Xenon was made of some material that allowed us to see the sky, making it eerily silent. I think every door of Xenon led to a similar hall-like room.

Walking inside, I found a bed with my name on it and collapsed onto it. A boy on the bed above mine looked down, but the darkness prevented me from seeing him clearly. I covered my face with a blanket and fell asleep. When I woke up later, the entire hall was empty, and the dwarf, now cleaning with visible annoyance, ordered me to leave.

I stepped outside and found myself in the middle of I-don’t-know-where. Suddenly, a small, beautiful white kitten approached me, the first thing to relax me in moments. I grabbed it, hugged it, played with it, and suddenly, Professor Xorki appeared. He told me to come to his office and left before I could say anything.

I named the kitten Misty, and she helped me find Professor Xorki’s office. He was reading something, and after seeking permission to enter, he politely spoke with me, asking about my interests in various subjects. Some of his questions puzzled me, but he assured me I’d understand them slowly. He handed me a box, saying it contained books, and instructed me to wait for Mr. Servius.

As I sit in the corridor, waiting, I can’t help but wonder what kind of school this is. Since morning, I haven’t seen a single student, and I don’t know if I’m living in an illusion or if this is the actual reality. I hope I can grasp the nature of this place soon. I feel an overwhelming urge to cry out loud and miss my Ma terribly.

I wish Adam could be here with me.

Yours, Zoe

[kudosmyhero]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (vol. 1) #11: True Stories

Read Date: May 28, 2023 Cover Date: June 1987 ● Writer: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ● Pencils: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ● Inks: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ● Letters: Steve Lavigne ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● I haven’t seen the first TMNT movie in ages, but reading this issue brings little memories back—such as April’s journaling ● omg, I’d forgotten the insult-war, too!

● 👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: The issue opens with April having nightmares about being attacked by ninja monsters who look similar to the Turtles and the Shredder. April wakes up screaming and then heads off to write in her diary. The diary becomes the framework for this issue.

Jan. 15, 1987 Yes, it's almost three A.M. again… My Night Mare alarm went off Big time tonight. It's been over two weeks now, with no relief… I was hoping to shake them before this… I think—The last time I closed my eyes and actually slept (and I believe exhaustion had a hand in that) was on the trip here… Even then my awakening was a shock… April recalls Casey startling her awake during the trip from New York City, wanting her to see downtown Northampton, Massachusetts. She is underwhelmed by the sight.

Considering my state of mind, my reaction was a few notches below "I couldn't care less." I guess I should've looked around a little; I hear that Northampton's nice… at least it might have afforded some kind of comfort for my next sight… From the road, Casey's late grandmother's house looked like a classic old New England farm house—big old barn, family-sized house, sheds, trees and rolling hills; you know, postcard material. That was from the road… Casey is full of nostalgia seeing the Jones Farm, but April is introduced to a dilapidated old building with broken windows and a front door falling off its hinges. April wants to start a warm fire and to get the still-injured Leo into the house. But she is fatigued, and falls asleep on a chair inside.

Jan. 25, 1987 Winter remains with us… snowed two days straight… Clear today. Leonardo's still pretty out of it. The battle tore him up terribly in both body and mind. Physically he has healed incredibly well, but mentally… I'm afraid has a lot of catching up. He's always put himself in front of the rest of the guys; taking charge, bearing the extra weight playing the Big Brother… When someone like that feels they've failed they fall hard! He's recently developed an intense obsession with the surrounding forests and spends all of his time there… I hope he finds what he's looking for and comes out of this depression soon… We all need him back. Leonardo, dressed in an improvised winter hunter's garb and armed with a yumi, stalks a stag through the forest without much success. The stag ambushes him, knocking him down. Leo pulls out of a knife and charges the stag head-on, but the powerful creature instead grabs the turtle with his antlers and throws him over and behind. Leo sits feeling defeated as the stag runs off.

I guess I could never know for sure how he feels inside. But I do know what losing your home—and everything that you own—feels like… Those things that you felt gave you a sense of being and strength in this world… Belongings that touched memory chords of loved ones. Father… I know he's hurting. Feb. 10, 1987 Everything is so strange… I feel like I've never looked at myself or the guys before; we're all so different now I try to identify the people I used to know with those that surround me now… and it's hard. Don isn't doing too badly, although he does work obsessively at the huge amount of repairs that need to be done here. The place has been vacant since Casey's Grandmother Left four years ago, it was pretty run down then. Besides a million little things, Don's rebuilt the windmill to pump water, devised a water wheel that creates enough current for lights and the fridge, and also installed a wood stove for better heating, all around. His most recent undertaking will—if it works—satisfy a craving we've all had lately… …Hot running water! Feb. 15, 1987 Success! Showertime! Everybody's going nuts! Feb. 17, 1987 Feeling strangely depressed lately… I guess I expected Don to rest a bit after the last hard-won victory… No such luck. I heard him rummaging around in the attic early this morning… who knows what he's working on now. Feb. 17, 1987 Don's Writing Too! He must have found an old typewriter in the attic yesterday. I awoke to the tapping of busy keys around seven A.M. and he's been at it ever since! I wonder what he's writing about… is it a journal, like mine? I'd love to know… Donatello is shown in the attic room with the typewriter…and a trash can filled to overflowing with crumpled up pieces of paper.

Feb. 26, 1987 Michaelangelo worries me the most Mike, who could find a joke in just about any situation, doesn't laugh much anymore. Except for some half hearted goofing around with Casey and Raph, he's been almost painfully solitary lately it's so unlike him. But then all of us seem to have a need to be alone these days. Has what's happened made us unable to be close? I don't know… Mike's chosen a back section of the barn for his sanction… cleared a lot of junk out and created a little work-out space. The other day I happened in on one of his sessions. He was already on edge. Michelangelo is shown repeatedly kicking a punching bag until it breaks completely off its chain. He bashes and destroys a workbench with his arms. Unsatisfied, his takes his rage to the barn wall, ripping a hole out of the wood. He rests his arms on the new hole and groans.

We all feel so much pain and confusion— Each of us keeping his personal torment bottled up inside… Each seeking relief in his own way. The cure hangs plainly, clearly in front of our faces, but who will be the first to reach out? We Need Each Other! March 2, 1987 Raphael scares me. The rest of the guys I can feel for, worry for… but not Raph. Raph runs Hot and Cold… very unbalanced, unpredictable. I keep my distance. Lately I've noticed he doesn't sleep much. He's always always the first up and the last to bed. I think I've heard him Leaving the house late at night, too. I wonder what he's doing… standing guard? Late at night out in the cold on top of the barn, standing guard is exactly what Raphael is doing. He judges the front of the farm clear, then flips several times across the barn rooftop to the back, and judges the back of the farm also clear.

March 10, 1987 I've known some odd characters in my time, living in Brooklyn most of my life, But the likes of Casey Bernid Jones is beyond compare. I believe that in Casey's mind there's a petulant, mischievious ten year old waging constant war with a somewhat mature, Bright young man… unfortunately the ten year old wins far too often. Casey spends all of his time with Raphael, fighting, or "doin' projects, doin' projects!" as they say— usually more damage. What next? In the barn, Casey is trying to repair the engine of an old pickup truck while Raphael sits behind the steering wheel. As they work, they carry on a debate.

Casey: Not even close—The Professor and Maryann, without a doubt, married! Raphael: No frick'n way! Gilligan was her main man, everyone knows that! Casey: Bug off! He was a geek. Raphael: You're a geek! Casey: Get a life, no mind! Raphael: Spasmo! Casey: Puke brain. Raphael: Clayhead. Casey: Duck fart. O.K. Turn it over. Raphael: Yawn… Yup. Gack face. Casey: This piece 'a junk will never start!

Raphael: Sounds good! Casey: O.K., O.K., ease off, this thing's ancient! Check the hand brake so it won't roll… …Ease off already! Raphael: Don't worry! {yawn} Casey: Ut-oh… Raphael: Oop! Casey & Raphael: It's in gear!!

The truck speeds toward the barn doors, bashing them open.

Casey: Ease down, dude! Foot off gas pedal!! Raphael: The throttle's stuck!!—Wide open! Casey: Use the brake—the brake!!

Raph struggles in vain to steer the vehicle into control.

Raphael: No control!—

The truck scrapes the side of the farmhouse's front porch.

Raphael: —it's the snow—no traction!

The truck rams into and destroys the windmill just before it crashes head-on into a hillside. Raph gets out safely, but the truck is a wreck.

Casey: I hated that Jeep anyway. Raphael: Have they seen the windmill yet? Casey: Couldn't miss it. Raphael: Mad? Casey: Saw 'em carring gun and a noose! Yuk, yuk! Raphael: Eat worms and die!

One day later in the month, April is out walking on the ice of a frozen lake. But the ice cracks under her weight, plunging her into the freezing water. Leo is hunting nearby and hears her shouts. At the edge of the lake, he takes off his hunting garb which unrolls into a long strip of cloth. He stakes one end of the cloth into the lakeside with his katana, and crawls out onto the ice holding the other end of the cloth, successfully pulls April to safety, and carries her back to the farmhouse.

Back inside, April is resting and recovering from hypothermia. Splinter, the turtles and Casey are gathered around her.

Splinter: She'll be fine. But we must let her rest. As for you, my sons, enough time has passed… Your spirits have drifted far too long. Come, we have much to do.

Splinter takes his four sons out into the wilderness for training.

Splinter: You must work harder! This winter has seen the diffusion of your energies… With the spring, you must rebuild your group spirit… For now, set aside individual pursuits… Your healing requires collective focus!

May 1, 1987 I can't believe it's been over a month since I fell through the ice… and even longer since I've picked up this journal. I almost didn't this time, either. it all seems to mean so little now. I started this book to rebuild all I had lost in the fire. I guess after my mid-winter swim (HA, HA) I realized how little my life long accumulation of possessions had. I thought I was all I had in this world. Not true. I've got me, and I've got memories. I also have friends, real friends that I care for and that care for me. I'll always be there for them and they for me; we have each other, we are a family… one. This will probably be my last entry. I guess I just wanted some kind of final word …sort of wrap up all I had written so far. Life is Good… and Life Goes on. After a day of training, Splinter and his sons are gathered around a campfire.

Splinter: You've done well, my sons… Your spirit glows bright and pure this night. Although I sense an almost peaceful nature throughout… Something still lingers. Yes, we were attacked by our past, Leonardo nearly killed… But we all feel the real cost was to April, a burden we shall always bear. Yet, our experience teaches us, in all the universe change is the only constant. Thus, the way of harmony is to accept change, we make choices in life—and our karma is to accept the changes those choices bring. Just as April chose to take us all into her life, she knew there would be changes… … I believe that April has gained more by her choice than she has lost… And I believe that she knows this. Life is good… And life goes on.

April wakes up in her bedroom to the sound of creaking. Is this another nightmare? She is pleasantly surprised by the four turtles: One serves her breakfast in bed as another prepares to give her flowers and another opens the window blinds to let in the morning light.

(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/True_Stories)

Fan Art: TMNT by Kuvshinov-Ilya

Accompanying Podcast: ● Shellheads - episode 16

[upismediacenter]

LITERARY: Green and Red

Dear Diary,

I’m thinking of breaking up with him. I told my friends and family, and they all said the same thing. I’d be making a mistake. I’d be letting go of a nice guy. That’s what they all call him: a nice guy. But if I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t seen this ‘nice guy’ in a while. Everyone’s telling me to give it time, to try and make it work. I’m starting to second-guess myself. I mean, he must have been a nice guy once, and maybe he still is. So I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out. What are his green flags?

1. He’s loyal. He gets his fair share of attention, but he never responds to it. I catch people staring too long when we’re out together. I notice when my friends laugh at his jokes too much. But I’ve never had to worry; he doesn’t mind any of them. Many eyes wander to his direction, but he only looks at me. What more can I ask for?

2. He loves spending time with me. Everything I used to do alone, we now do together. Even menial tasks like cooking or grocery shopping are much brighter when I’m with him. He’ll always find a way to join me in my activities, and I do appreciate it. Really. I love spending time with him too. But sometimes, I wonder, when was the last time I watched a movie by myself? Or went out with just my friends? I can’t remember.

3. He spoils me. On our first date, he treated me to a fine-dining restaurant. He’s paid for most of my meals since then. I ask him not to, but he just does it anyway —he’s just so nice. He also gives me flowers every day and gifts me jewelry even when there’s no birthday or anniversary to celebrate. Expensive flowers and jewelry. He’ll never leave that out. Most people can only dream of the things he’s given me. But I don’t know. When he makes me wear the necklace he gave me, it feels heavy on my neck. Like it’s suffocating me. Is it ungrateful of me to think it’s too much?

4. He pushes me out of my comfort zone. When I feel like staying in, we end up going out. He drags me out of my peace and quiet and takes me to where the fun and chaos are. I can never back out. I do everything he wants; he doesn’t give me much of a choice. He’ll beg, push, and plead until I swallow my pride and give in. Even a faint nod is enough of a yes for him.

5. He apologizes. When we fight, he always makes sure it doesn’t go on for long. He doesn’t stop until we make up. Even if that means flooding me with messages and calling me every hour. Even if that means banging on my door every day until I let him in. Even if that means sending (even more!) big bouquets of roses so that he might bribe me into forgiving him. And of course, I always do. How can I not, when he does everything to make sure of it?

I’m left even more confused than when I started this list. People see the gifts and the flowers and think we’re happy, but it’s much more complicated than that. Sometimes I find him caring, other times obsessive. Sometimes he’s fun, other times pushy. Were his green flags always red? Did they change colors over time? I’m starting to think they’re both, something in between. Not green enough to want to stay, not red enough to make me leave. The perfect mix of green and red, enough to make me do nothing.

[twopoppies]

My Policeman Screening - Part 1

Let me start by saying these are comments from a friend who attended tonight’s screening. I haven’t seen the film. I’m just going to give you their commentary as they gave it to me. This is their initial message to me when the came out of the theater:

The movie just finished. IT’S FUCKING GORGEOUS I’m like shaking, it was so beautiful. I’m SO PROUD!! That’s what a performance with a competent director and supportive costars looks like, holy shit!!!

And DAVID FUCKING DAWSON!! EMMA!! And they kept Julia 😭😭😭

Just know I heard people being asked by staff what they thought and EVERYONE around me said EXCELLENT.

This is LONG. So long I have to split it into at least two posts. I’ll put everything under the cut for those who don’t want to see spoilers. And when I say spoilers, I mean it. This is pretty much scene by scene.

Harry gets the first billing on his own. So it opens on a beautiful shot of the water then it his name and then the title of the movie. 🥺🥺🥺 A true leading man!! I was already so proud to see that. Then everyone else gets billing during the opening shots of Patrick arriving.

Okay, from what I can remember in order: It opens with the older Tom and Marion at their home just as Patrick is being brought in from his assisted living facility. Older Tom immediately takes their dog out for a walk while Marion adjusts everything for Patrick in his new room.

She places a picture of her and Tom from their wedding day on a dresser facing the bed so Patrick sees it when he first lies down. Cue the first scream from these girls in the audience who would not stop their constant talking and  giggling because we saw a picture of Harry and Emma posed. 🙄🙄🙄

So it does begin with the older versions of the three. The difference from the book is that Marion is not writing a letter. A box of Patrick’s old things gets delivered and his diary is included. So she actually finds the diary and that’s what initiates a lot of the flashback sequences.

Tom is off walking the dog, Marion is trying to make Patrick comfortable. And then the first flashback is the scene on the beach with where Harry was wearing the blue shorts and vest.

Marion is sitting with Sylvie when Tom comes over. Sylvie’s part is drastically cut from the novel, so you don’t see her getting pregnant or married. She doesn’t tell Marion (or hint rather) that he’s gay like she does in the novel. You only see her in that opening scene to introduce the younger selves and then she teases Marion and tells Tom she doesn’t know how to swim.

Then Sylvie runs off with her boyfriend but we never see her again, she’s just referenced one other time.

They changed this bit from the novel too. Tom tells Marion he’ll teach her but he takes her to a public swimming pool full of families. So it’s a very cute and light scene with up tempo 50s music included. There’s a brief slow mo shot of Tom swimming and Marion being infatuated of course, to imply she’s already falling for him. The parents from the novel are cut too, no scenes with them. When Marion and Tom meet on the beach, he tells her there he just got back from the service and he’s already a Policeman. And she’s already a teacher.

Like the novel, they get to know each other by the swimming lessons and Tom says she must love books if she’s a teacher. He asks her if she knows about Art, she says a bit and there’s a sweet scene where she takes him to a library and they just sit in silence while he’s earnestly reading about an artist he found out about.

He asks her if he’d like to go to a museum since he knows someone that she can talk to about art. Enter younger Patrick.

And omg…when I tell you David Dawson was perfect. EVERYONE was perfect, especially the younger trio. But when I tell you the younger three has the BEST chemistry. And David instantly captivated me. What a presence!

So this is where Tom introduces Marion and Patrick for the first time.

Patrick asks if they would like to attend a play and Marion says sure. But as they’re walking out, Marion says something about attending (I didn’t catch it) but Tom says they can decline Patrick’s offer if she really doesn’t want to go. Marion says no, they should go since she doesn’t want to hurt Patrick’s feelings.

So this is when they go on their first outing as a group. And omg, they’re all so lovely together. If I didn’t know what was coming, I could’ve just watched them be silly as sing together while in a bar. David and Emma both have BEAUTIFUL voices!!

There’s a montage of the three in a bar, then driving together into the countryside for a picnic. Harry sings along with them but (and maybe this was a deliberate decision by the filmmakers) but you hear David and Emma’s voices over his. This montage of their outings is when you start to see the dynamic play out. In the theater, they sit MARION, PATRICK, TOM In the bar, Tom and Patrick grab each other to sign before Marion joins them. In the car going into the country, she’s sitting in the back while Patrick is driving and Tom is sitting up from with him 😭😭😭

Between the younger flashbacks, it did go back to the present. Older Tom stays away from older Patrick completely. Older Marion gives older Patrick his bath/meals/pills and reads his diary (unbeknownst to him).

As in the novel, older Patrick’s his mobility and speech are severely impaired. Rupert Everett gave a wonderful but heartbreaking performance.

The first entry Marion reads is the night Tom went to Patrick’s apartment to have his portrait drawn. So this differed from the novel too!

Those photos we got of Harry in costume with a bag and smoking a cigarette sitting on the beach happen right before he goes to Patrick’s apartment for the drawing session. His uniform is in the bag and, like the novel, he tells Patrick he brought it in case he wants him to wear it for the portrait. Patrick says yes, tells him to change they start.

They talk briefly, Patrick asks why he wanted to be a policeman. Tom says to help people, to which Patrick replies that’s how he differs from other cops. Tom questions him and Patrick says he keeps his distance because not all are like that. Then Tom gets defensive, he sits up straighter and gets this very almost robotic look (or more militarized) and says something like “the police only seek out criminal offences and take appropriate actions when they’re committed”

Patrick offers him a drink right away to change the subject. And then it cuts to them relaxed, Patrick is wearing Tom’s jacket and hat pretending to be a cop and making Tom laugh.

Tom says Patrick will probably think he’s a drunkard for having 3 scotches but Patrick says cops deserve to have fun after they clock out.So they both relax on the couch. And start talking. And this is where my mind glitched Because Gina 🥺🥺🥺

Okay…I swear to god this happened and I KNOW it happened because Patrick has a line about it and this fan I talked to after (that I’m 100% sure was a larrie because she mentioned it too)…The fan mentioned it.

You know that clip of the boys that everyone credits with turning them into a larrie? When Louis pushes his arm back because Harry just uses two fingers or so to stroke his arm

Okay, so in the SCENE Tom and Patrick are sitting on the same couch but a little bit always from each other cause they’re manspreading but Tom has his arm outstretched towards Patrick. So Patrick is kind of talking and then Tom just delicately, WITH THOSE SAME TWO FINGERS I’VE WATCHED OVER AND OVER AGAIN just slightly strokes Patrick’s neck. And my mind immediately went blank because I’VE SEEN HARRY DO THAT BEFORE.

but when I tell you my heart rate sped up because it was so gentle like some of the touches between Louis and Harry used to be.

Wtf wtf wtf. IDK, IMM ACTUALLY ONLY PROCESSING IT NOW AS I’M TELLING IT TO YOU.

So of course Patrick pauses. And Tom pauses. Then Patrick just goes for it. So they don’t have multiple sittings for the drawing, they put the blowjob scene here!

Tom initially says he’s “not like that” and Patrick dismisses it and goes for the kiss. And it’s so sweet and tentative before he gets down on his knees in front. You get a shot from behind the couch/Tom’s head then you just get Harry’s beautiful acting as he falls apart.

SUCK MY DICK OLIVIA WILDE. We need more QUEER pleasure represented on our screens. But I digress. 🤣

Then it cuts to Tom getting dressed quickly after and saying they can’t do this, it’s wrong. Then Patrick says, rightfully so, “YOU TOUCHED ME FIRST!” But Tom can’t argue with that so he flees. and it cuts back to older Marion finishing up the diary entry.

Her behavior never changes towards Patrick, she even shares a cigarette with him even though he’s not supposed to have any and she keeps trying to get Tom to see him.

So from the first blow job scene, Tom returns to the apartment drunk, asking Patrick if he’d keep drawing him. Of course Patrick is totally thrown off given how they parted before. But he sees Tom is drunk and doesn’t want his neighbors to find them again (during the first visit, a neighbor does come out but Tom is introduced as a cousin)

Tom is of course struggling with everything. He yells a bit. And oh Harry was so great. I told [another friend], I actually was able to get lost and (despite the rude crowd) JUST see Tom. I was so heartbroken for him.

But of course Patrick understands and they actually have sex. And oh wow…once again, OLIVIA WILDE SUCK MY DICK. 

It wasn’t raunchy but it was EXPLICIT. You see them together a few times. In the bed and on the couch with Patrick riding him, OH MY GOD!! It was beautiful shot!! It was actual GAY sex and not some bullshit scene with Harry’s head under a skirt.

You do see Harry completely nude from behind. I would say a step further than Brokeback Mountain, no full frontal. David is gorgeous, his bf is also lucky. 😂

DWD is fucking child’s play in comparison. The gays stay winning.

I told [my friend] gay sex should always be shot this way. It was obviously well choreographed. The riding scene had beautiful vertical lines of their bodies shot from a small distanceIt wasn’t obscene, it was supposed to show them falling apart together and it was lovely.

They end up in bed together with Tom’s head on Patrick’s chest and that’s where Patrick says he had a previous partner that was killed for being gay. So they decide to obviously keep their relationship a secret.

It was so natural and Harry looked so amazing. I was so strangely proud, again just to see him be able to do that and recognize it as art and have it be a part of such an important story.

I know people are gonna ask you, so just to get it out there: Tom tops in every scene. When they’re in bed, Patrick does switch positions with him but just to kiss along his neck. And honestly, for a second I thought we were getting a rimming scene because Harry kind of arched his back 😳 But then it cut away. That DID make my eyebrows go up a bit but then no. Good form though, Styles. And congrats Louis, you lucky mfer.

OH! Before Tom goes back, there is a scene where Patrick visits the gay bar mentioned in the novel. He thinks he ruined his moment with Tom, so he goes to find someone else. They go to an alleyway and he’s about to blow the guy when two cops come. Patrick escapes but his guy is arrested.

Part 2

Part 3

[jimblejamblewritings]

sweaters & kisses | one-shot.

Request: maybe one of the weasleys x reader where molly makes everybody ugly christmas sweaters??

Pairing: Bill Weasley x fem!reader

You hadn’t seen the Weasleys in forever. Since your seventh year which was about eight years ago. Approaching the Burrow, you realized how much you missed your friends. You, Bill, and Charlie were inseparable during your school years. When Bill left, it was just you and Charlie for two years.

That meant it was two years of Charlie pressing you to confirm his suspicions that you were into his brother. Both winter breaks, he tried his hardest to set you up with Bill despite you telling him not to meddle and just let you have a crush. Charlie wanted you to be a part of the family for real— the two of you always recalled your joke pact that you made in first year stating that if you were both thirty-two and single you would just marry each other.

Then graduation happened. Part of the reason that the three of you had been inseparable in your school years was the same reason that you all grew apart— a love of adventure. Bill became a cursebreaker in Egypt, Charlie worked with dragons in Romania. You were trapezing the entire world in search of dark artifacts.

The three of you also had a strong sense of morals along with the sense of adventure. When Harry Potter claimed that Voldemort was back, you came running. Without much thought, you sent a letter to Dumbledore asking to join the Order.

While they didn’t necessarily like the idea of Harry and other students learning to fight, they acknowledged that Voldemort was after the boy. They felt better that there was guidance close to their age. The old Order of the Phoenix stepped aside for the younger generation.

Between Tonks and Bill, Harry’s little Dumbledore’s Army became prodigies at Defense Against the Dark Arts. Charlie had an intense network of dragon dealers that were able to easily pass information and spy for them. He also had a way to track animals that proved very useful in finding and killing Lord Voldemort’s snake. You were able to figure out the horcruxes.

There was still a whole ordeal about getting them to destroy them. But, aside from Nagini and the diary, you had all of the horcruxes in Dumbledore’s office. It was just a matter of figuring out how to destroy them. That involved more travel which you would get to when it wasn’t freezing. There were prisons out in the world that held dark wizards that did what Voldemort had done which meant that someone had to know how to destroy them. But that wasn’t until the New Year. Right now, you were enjoying your holiday. Mr. Weasley invited you to the Burrow for Christmas.

You knocked on the door, expecting Mr. or Mrs. Weasley  to answer. The door opened to reveal a tall redhead who you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever.

“You got one of your ears pierced?”

Bill laughed. “I haven’t seen you properly in years and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

“What do you want me to cry in joy? Close the door and we’ll do it again.”

“You haven’t changed a bit.”

Bill ushered you in and closed the door. Immediately, Charlie showed up. It was like no time had passed at all. The rest of the house, which included Order members as well as Harry and Hermione, noticed how the three of you were joined at the hip.

“Have they always been like that?” Lupin asked.

Percy nodded. “They were the Golden Trio at Hogwarts before Harry ever showed up. Gave Mum a near heart attack when Bill almost got expelled.”

“Expelled?”

Bill threw an arm over your shoulder. “This one had the brilliant idea of helping one of our fellow students break some cursed vaults.”

You poked Bill’s cheek. “Um, without my brilliant idea you wouldn’t be a cursebreaker now.”

“Yes, I would be.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

Bill looked at you. The two of you didn’t break eye contact. It didn’t go unnoticed by the others when Bill’s playful stare-off seemed to morph into something else. His face softened a bit. Bill cleared his throat and looked away. You smiled smugly.

“Ha. I win.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Bill suddenly walked off, Charlie following him outside. You went back into the swing of old Weasley Christmas traditions. The younger Weasleys remembered all the times that you used to come over. Ginny always liked it because, even though she was a baby, you always treated her like a little lady. She always used to push Charlie or Bill marrying you so you would be at the Burrow forever. Back then, it was a funny joke. Now, she was old enough to see something was up with her brother.

Mrs. Weasley began to hand out presents. You all knew they were sweaters. Every Christmas Eve, the present was a sweater. You started getting them in you and Charlie’s third year because you were the only friend that the boys kept bringing home. Molly handed you your little box.

“Oh, with everyone here, (Y/N) and Charlie are going to be in your room, Bill.”

Bill’s eyes went wide for a moment. “Shouldn’t (Y/N) be with Ginny?”

“Hermione and Tonks are already there. So is Angelina, there isn’t room.”

“You act as if we haven’t shared a bed before,” you told Bill.

Fred stood up. “But you said Ang couldn’t stay in our room every time we asked, growing up.”

“(Y/N) was never dating one of them. They’re also adults that I can trust.”

Fred shut up, not having a good counter argument. You laughed as you tore through the wrapping paper, wondering what color you would get. You had almost every color. Although, all the ones from your earliest years were now too small. Bill turned when he heard you in hysterics.

“Molly, I love it!”

“I wanted to try something different this time.”

“It’s great.”

You held up the ugly Christmas sweater. Everyone opened their own presents to see ugly Christmas sweaters. You all changed into them so Molly could take a picture. One by one, everyone retreated to their rooms. You, Bill, and Charlie decided to wear the sweaters as pajamas. Charlie took some firewhiskey from the kitchen before the three of you retreated to Bill’s room.

He had the only room on the same floor as the living room— Charlie’s was upstairs on the same level as their parents and before all the additions started getting added to the house. The three of you passed around the bottle and caught each other up on your lives. There was an unspoken agreement to never spend this much time apart from each other ever again. Charlie stretched.

“Alright, I’m heading to bed.”

“Where are you going?” You asked as he started to leave.

“The couch.”

“Charlie, the bed’s big enough for the three of us.”

“I know but William isn’t going to do anything unless I do it for him. You two are just like when we were younger.”

He walked out without another word. You turned to face Bill who was now fiddling with his sweater.

“Okay, what was that about?”

“It’s just Charlie,” Bill said.

You two started getting ready for bed. Bill opened his mouth plenty of times to say something but then closed it again. You probably had a relationship. He told Charlie that much when his younger brother followed him outside. You probably didn’t even like him. Why would he expect you to still have a crush on him after all these years? Bill thought he was screwed that he finally had a crush on you and it wasn’t during the same time that you had one on him. He held his breath for a moment as you cuddled against him to get comfortable. Like he used to, Bill rubbed your back so you would fall asleep easily. Only now, it wasn’t platonic— not on his end. Bill looked down to see you sleeping peacefully. He sighed.

“Crushing on your best friend is such a cliche, isn’t it? You’ve gotten even prettier since I last saw you, wanted to kiss you when you showed up to the Order meaning. I should’ve told Harry I couldn’t teach Dumbledore’s Army that day and just caught up with you. Too bad this isn’t seventh year. Charlie told me that you used to like me… guess I missed my chance, didn’t I?”

“Your sweater is itchy,” you mumbled.

Bill froze and you lifted your head. He looked like a deer in headlights.

“Did you hear me?”

“I was going to give you your moment but one of the pom poms was poking my ear.”

“Merlin, I can’t beli—”

“You can still kiss me.”

“I’m so sorr— what?”

“I was going to let you sleep and then just, I don’t know, kiss you in the morning.”

“Are you messing with me, right now?”

You shook your head. “I’ve had a few boyfriends since Hogwarts but there was always something missing. I only ever feel it around you and Charlie.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just include my brother.”

You shoved his shoulder. “Oh, you know what I mean.”

Bill sat up, cupping the sides of your face. “Do I?”

“Just kiss me, William.”

“Gladly.”

Bill pressed his lips against yours.  

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

What If?

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You think back on your relationship with Bucky, with questions of 'What if' surrounding you, four questions stood out to you, so you wonder- which one will come true?

Word count: 4,179

Warnings: melancholy angst, character death of sorts (not real deaths), some fluff, the winter soldier, mentions of violence, civil war Bucky, language, me referencing poems.

A/N: Civil War timeline with some modifications. Italics are daydreams. The question What If? Is my favourite question- it is so hopeful and yet so destructive. Besides the Taylor song, I also based this on the song 'What If?' From the musical If/Then

A/N2: this is based on the song The 1 by Taylor Swift for @captain-kelli Don't Call It A Comeback Tour challenge! When I signed up for it this entire story just came to my mind all at once and I could see it all from start to finish. However when I finally sat down with my outline to write it… something possessed it. I have mixed feelings about this but oh well, I hope you will like it! Thank you @lookiamtrying for beta reading this!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Masterlist

--

It always came back to your head in flashes; he came back in glances at objects around your apartment, but he never came back to you- not in your reality. You remembered the last night you saw him next to you, you remembered his cold voice that you read so well past. You mostly remembered the look in his blue eyes- they were soft and sad, contrasting his tone just like how his words contrasted their true meaning.

You had found your little piece of heaven in this small apartment, Bucky found his peace with you. He was always cautious, ever since he pulled Steve out of the river and started to remember his old life he run away from hydra, using all of his training to disappear from both sides that were looking for him. And then he found you and everything changed. You didn't know who he was at first, but by the time he opened up and told you who he was he held a part of your heart. It took some time but by the time you earned his full trust you took space in his heart, and when you didn't run away after you found out about him- your place in his heart grew and he kept you there safe. Logically he knew he should never stay for too long, and he shouldn't stay with you, but you were the first friend he had in decades- you helped him through nightmares, and you gave him a diary to keep track of the memories that started to come back. So he risked everything, and took every precaution to make sure he could stay there with you and dissipate his past from his potential future with you. And slowly but surely your relationship together evolved. You were proud of every progress he made- when the nightmares became rare, when you had to buy him another notebook, when he talked to you about it and you saw him forgive himself for something that was not his choice- you were proud when he started smiling and touching you more freely even with his left arm. You were proud of him when he showed his emotions more and told you those three little words with a bright look in his eye that caused you to smile and reply those same three words.

Then he came home to you one night with a heavy look that you haven't seen in a long time- you remember it from the time you were only friends, when he came to your door after a nightmare, panicked, saying he should run away.

He didn't talk that night, but you felt him change again, you felt him being more reserved again, like the Bucky you first met.

Then he came home to you one night a week later with the same look but now you saw his eyes- they weren't cold, they were emotional.

"They found me." No they didn't.

"Bucky," he was never one to lie. "What are you saying?"

You left the mug you held on the counter and walked to him in the living room. When he didn't answer you went to sit on the couch, patting the spot next to you.

"Talk to me, please." Bucky went towards you but he bent down and you knew what he was about to do. He moved the rug away and pulled at the wooden floor until you could both see the hidden space there where he told you an emergency bag will be necessary. He pulled it out.

"I need to go, you can't come with me."

"No, Bucky look at me," you stood up in front of him, "you don't have to run away! I can come with you-"

"It's too dangerous! You can't date the Winter Soldier!" He finally said. You knew he was trying to scare you with his cold tone, but you didn't let him.

"And yet, I am still here! I am not going to leave you Bucky- no one found you, stay with me- please don't run away."

"Doll," his eyes always gave him away. "I need to go, they are close. I need to leave."

"Bucky," tears welled up in your eyes. "Will you-"

"I am not going to come back."

Yes, you remember that night well. You played it in your head over and over again. You remembered your tears, the slamming door, and mostly the quiet.

You felt it when you woke up alone again every day after that. You saw him on the TV a few weeks after he left you- he stood next to Captain America- at least he found Steve. You had a million things you wished you could have said, questions you wished to know. You never know, though, when it will all go away, but you know the greatest loves of all time are over now, they always end. But you could never let it go, he plagued your mind.

It was the constant question of: Would he have stayed for you? If things were different? If he didn't have an excuse to leave?

You knew the answer could kill you, but your mind couldn't help but wonder- What if?

•

What if he stayed?

"I'm not coming back." Bucky closed the door behind him, it slammed harder than he intended to. He took the time to rest against the door, gathering his thoughts as he softly whispered to the air-

"I love you."

You brought life to his grey world, you helped him find himself- is he scared more of hydra finding you, or of you? Everything good seemed to be taken from him, and you were the sunshine for him- the moonlight comfort of the midnight nightmares.

Bucky spent so long running, what if he just let himself have this- you? What if he didn't use his past as an excuse to run away from his possible future?

He didn't think further when he opened the door again and shut it behind him. His eyes were just as soft and glassy as yours, filled with unshed tears. He came to you and you got up from the couch- without missing a beat he pulled you to him, holding you tight.

"I'm sorry, doll, I love you, and I don't want to leave you."

"Then stay, please. We are safe." You held him tighter and let out a shaking breath when you realized he didn't walk away, he stayed for you.

"I'll stay." He promised you that night, both of you refused to let go.

It was a few months after that and Bucky passed a jewelry shop, he watched as couples inside looked at all the shiny items and picked a few to take to their home. You were his home.

When he came back to you, the house smelled like his favourite pie that you made. He wanted to stay forever here with you, you didn't have much, but you had enough to get by and it was everything he could wish for right now.

But at night he laid wide awake, his metal arm surrounding you securely, drawing senseless patterns on your skin as you slept.

He couldn't give you a future like all the other normal couples have, but he could try to do his best, you always told him that trying was enough.

Bucky went to the museum the next night, when the old guard fell asleep he snuck in and searched for his treasure- in the area that displayed his stuff from the 40s- he found it. His ma's engagement ring, it was silver with two blue stones on either side the small diamond- you will look so perfect wearing it.

He was walking home with a smile, hoping to be home before you wake up- he left you a note but he knew you would only worry.

On the way, he decided to purchase some plums and then he saw the newspaper- the assassination of King T'Chaka, blamed on the Winter Soldier. He knew he had to get home fast. The smile dropped from his face and he ran to you.

"Doll!" He yelled to you when he closed the apartment shut, he panicked when you didn't answer. Checking the windows were closed, he saw no sign of forced entry, so he moved to the bedroom you shared."Doll,"

You were still asleep peacefully in your bed, only opening your eyes when you heard him call you again.

"Good morning, Bucky." You smiled at him and went to pull him down for a kiss which he gladly returned, letting himself relax when he knew you were safe. "What are you doing all dressed up-"

You stopped when you saw his nervous eyes.

"What happened?" you sat up on the bed and held Bucky's hand as he told you about the news.

"But, they don't know where we are, so we will be fine… right?" you were trying to stay hopeful, you didn't want anything to get in the way of your happiness, but life finds a way.

"We can't be certain… doll I think we need to go."

"Go where?" you didn't want to leave this house, you shared so many moments here with him, "This is our home."

"You are my home, we can find a place for us wherever we go- but I have to keep you safe with me. So, we need to go."

You only nodded to him, solemnly getting out of bed and packing the essentials he told you to take.

Soon enough, you were ready to go, but he stopped you before you reached for the door handle.

"Wait," his throat suddenly went dry, but he had to do this- he had to do this here. "I just need to tell you something, before we go."

"What is it?"

"We shared so many memories here, you helped me find myself and never gave up on me. And then I fell in love with you and I was so happy when I first kissed you and you admitted to loving me as well- and you let me set the pace. You were always there for me, doll, and I always want you to be."

"Bucky, what are you-"

"My ma always told me to give this to someone special, someone who managed to see the real me, and I have no clue how you did it, doll, but you did." He got down on one knee, "So, I want to do my ma proud, do this properly."

And then he went down on one knee, and then you said yes.

You smiled, you would have been so happy, and he never would have gotten caught, not if he had you. You've only seen the ring before in pictures but… it would have been fun, if he would've been the one.

You really were something together, so you let your mind wonder again.

-

Little did you know that all that time ago, Bucky had wondered the exact same thing. What if he stayed?

Bucky burst through the door, shutting it behind him as he went to envelop you in his arms.

"I'm not leaving you, not ever." He held you tight- and he promised he won't let you go no matter what happened. He couldn't handle not being with you.

Months passed with you sleeping soundly next to him.

Another day started like any other- right before he heard the explosion coming from the living room, awakening both you and Bucky in freight.

"Bucky, what's happening?" You whispered to him as you saw him get up and grab the gun that was taped under the bed.

"Stay here, I'll keep you safe, they found me but I promise- I won't let them get to you." He told you, and then Bucky went, opening the door and seeing the Hydra agents that stormed his house- his home.

Bucky sprung to action and shot the ones that came near him, protecting himself from the bullets with his metal arm. As soon as he took care of the agents in his home, he heard voices coming up the stairs- he had to get you out of here.

"Doll, come on, we have to go." He urgently told you, seeing you were already dressed and took the emergency bag he kept under your bed- you always knew.

"Where to, Bucky?" your shaky voice didn't escape him as he escorted you through the bodies on the floor, but he didn't have time to comfort you right now- his only mission was to get you to safety. That was all he wished for. That was all he wished for when you went to the roof to look at the stars, when you passed by a fountain and he remembered his ma telling him to toss pennies in the pool and make a wish.

He helped you down the fire escape and held you tight as he jumped onto another roof. Then he simply told you to run as he seeked temporary cover to think of an exit for you. They were shooting at you now, and he ushered you in front of him, having his body as a shield for you.

He found a place behind a vent as soon as you gained some speed and put space between you and the Hydra agents.

"Bucky-" your soft voice called to him, bringing him back to you. He looked at you when you just looked at your stomach, where blood was now seeping through your shirt.

"No, no doll stay with me-" your eyes began to flutter as the dizziness took you. "We will fix it, you'll be okay- I'll fix it."

"Bucky- it's okay." Your hand caressed his cheek; you winced when he put pressure on the wound.

"No, it's not! I can't lose you doll, this is all my fault, please stay with me." You felt his tears on your hand, even when you felt things go dark, you didn't break his gaze.

"This isn't your fault, Bucky. I love you, please promise me you'll stay yourself- don't let them convince you you're anything but a good man."

"No, doll, stay- please." His voice broke. "I love you."

The lights went out in your eyes, and he felt all the light in his life go with you, he sobbed over you, not caring about the hydra agents getting close. No one will take you away from him. He didn't let you go, he couldn't handle being without you.

If only his wishes came true, it would've been you that was alive instead of him, and you would've been safe.

•

What if you had gone after him?

It took you months, but you knew you had to go after him and fight for the two of you. You finally found him- they had taken him to the Avengers facility like you saw on the news. He was captured with Captain America- his former friend, you hoped Steve was taking care of your Bucky.

He had to be safe now, right? From what you heard of Steve… he won't let anything happen to him- so you hoped that maybe you could tell him who you were to Bucky and they will let you see him.

You walked into the facility with your cover, standing idly in the corner of the room as you watched Bucky being locked in a cage. It hurt your heart and you wished you could walk up to Steve but he was with government officials- and those were never good.

Then everything went dark. You were freaking out like the rest of them when you heard a girl talking to Steve-

"Sublevel 5, east wing." She had said and you quickly exited from the room, hoping to get to Bucky. Remembering the schematics of the building you memorized, you rushed to him. Was it dangerous? Maybe. Did you care? Not even a bit.

You ran down the stairs when you heard a commotion.

You entered the floor to see Tony Stark aiming a weapon against Bucky. You've never seen him this way, as the Winter Soldier- but he was still your Bucky.

"No!" you shouted when a loud blast echoed in the room. Tony went to attack him and you stood there helpless, not knowing what to do. You knew in your heart that he will recognize you- he has to. He is your Bucky- he said he will never forget you.

Two girls went to attack him after he pushed Tony Stark away and you rushed forward, getting to him before the others, you grabbed his arm.

"Civilians aren't allowed here, get out of the way!" The Black Widow called to you, but you ignored her as Bucky turned to you. You couldn't see him in the Winter Soldier's eyes but you knew he was there. The Winter Soldier grabbed you by the throat with his metal arm and pinned you to the wall, but you tried to stop him.

"Bucky- Bucky it's me, please come back to me." You said to him and dared to reach out to hold his cheek. "Bucky I'm here, I know you can break out of this- you won't hurt me."

His hard eyes were now confused instead and he did nothing for a couple of moments before you knew you had him.

"Doll?" he whispered to you, before he pulled away from you, realizing what happened. You didn't let him get far.

"I'm here Bucky, you didn't hurt me." You took his flesh hand, shooting a daring glance at the two girls who stood there on edge. "Please don't hurt him."

You brought Bucky closer, seeing the hesitation in his eyes, you assured him.

"I've got you, you didn't hurt me. Bucky, let me keep you safe for once." You brought him closer and he sent a shaky look at the agents, eyes falling to their guns and weapons that stood ready. "Look at me."

He did, and your eyes brought him ever so closer until you could hug him properly. You held him closely, keeping a tight hold around his neck. His arms soon surrounded you, and you knew he had his eyes sharp and open, protecting you all the time, checking for potential threats.

"We need to go." He told you. You turned around when you heard footsteps approaching, and Natasha yelling at them to stand down.

"Buck?" You heard Steve's voice, but with the new people with guns, Bucky immediately pulled you back so he could stand in front of you to protect you.

"Why are you just standing there?" One of the government officials came into the room and ordered around. "Take him down!"

"No!" Both you and Steve yelled. You saw red- no one will hurt him again.

"Listen," you ignored Bucky who was adamant on keeping you behind him and you stepped forward, his hand was still on your waist. "He will do whatever it takes to keep me safe, whoever points a gun at me will be viewed as a threat that he will take out- so I suggest you move out of the room."

Steve looked puzzled between his friend and Natasha, who just shook her head at his silent question.

"Do you think I will leave a dangerous hydra asset- the Winter Soldier- alone by the hands of some girl?" Bucky's hand tightened around you.

"His name is James Bucky Barnes, not an asset- just a man." You spat out at him, "Only these five can stay- I think three avengers are more capable than you or your team to deal with this. So unless you want to lose your life because you insulted some girl- move out, now."

"Listen to the girl, Ross" Tony held his hands up and the other man walked out until it was only the two of you, Steve, Tony, Natasha, the blonde agent and Prince T'Challa. You looked at Bucky behind you before you looked at Steve.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Steve." He nodded to you, "I have heard a lot about you. And I hope you didn't change from who you used to be."

"And why is that?" Natasha spoke up.

"Because all I want is for Bucky to be safe. He hasn't been triggered in two years, not since the Triskelion. He did nothing wrong- he is just Bucky now." You interlaced your fingers with his and you felt him relax behind you.

"He killed my father." The king said and you shook your head.

"I didn't kill your father." Bucky said quietly.

"He was with me the entire time, at a different country too." You hoped they will listen to you.

"Ross will not be happy… but let's take my jet and get out of here. How does that sound?" Tony offered, "And then we can talk."

You looked back at Bucky and nodded, he smiled softly at you, and you knew you will be okay.

Yes, you would have been okay. If you were there you would have talked sense into everyone. He would have been okay if you went after him- you wouldn't have let anything happen to him. It played all out in your head like a film, but you knew the greatest films of all time were never made- all because of a single choice.

-

Little did you know, that when Bucky sat in his cell as the guy in front of him started reading the words- all he thought about was you. He was so glad you weren't there, he couldn't even imagine what would have happened if you had gone after him.

Bucky felt the words take over him, he shook his head trying to fight it.

"No."

But it was too late, and Bucky was stuck inside his own mind. He tried to fight him, but The Winter Soldier was in control.

It was all a blur to him, but then he saw you- he heard your voice, and suddenly all he could do was fight, trying to break free from all those years of torture just to save you- if only he could save you, he could forgive himself- he could fight.

He hoped you could still see him there, he heard you call out his name.

"Bucky- Bucky it's me, please come back to me." You said to him and dared to reach out to hold his cheek- he could feel you. "Bucky I'm here, I know you can break out of this- you won't hurt me."

He tried- he tried to break free for you and he almost did.

"Bucky-" he heard you call out to him and he was forced to watch as the spark in your eyes, that you reserved just for him, died out. He was caged- and you died because of him, because he wasn't strong enough.

Bucky tried to shake the mental image of your lifeless body from his head. He sat in that chair as the Winter Soldier took over him, you didn't know it but all he thought about back then was you and the only relief he had is that you weren't around for him to hurt.

•

But What if the story ends here?

You pulled yourself out of the memories you could have had and brought yourself back to the present, if only you had done something- anything. You looked around your apartment as you sat on the couch, your tea long forgotten. You rose up with a sigh, and you pondered how long were you going to wonder about the road not taken? He haunted all of your What Ifs. Four years ago you chose to let two blue eyes into your life- and that has made all the difference. Two years ago those blue eyes left your life- and that had changed everything.

You went to close the old bag you found, with the shiny object still in its box- you shut it and delicately put it in the bag and closed it.

You still mused over it though- if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? With each choice that you make you lose roads you won't get to take, with each coin that you toss you lose choices you won't get to make. You choose and then everything changes, and you know there is no turning back... so you wonder- What if?

If only your wishes came true, Bucky would have come back to you.

But timing is a funny thing.

You almost missed the knock on the door. Putting the mug on the table, you went to the door.

If your wishes came true, he would have chosen you.

You opened the door, coming face to face with a man you only saw on TV, with his hair now short, his left arm black and gold- so much changed but his eyes were still the same. He was still Bucky- was he still yours? You couldn't help but wonder…

"Bucky?"

"Hi, doll."

What if it began again?

•

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