#i haven’t even tried applying for disability benefit because i know how that’d go

[fingertipsmp3]

We need to take all the hate that tax collectors get and instead give it to debt collectors and people who check on eligibility for benefits. Tbh

[jaimistoryteller]

Anon Answer

[ID: two anon questions: hi, saw you were looking to purchase a building through crowdfunding, and I was wondering why you didn’t just try to get a small business loan instead? it’s pretty selfish to use others’ money to fund your business without giving anything back. . . and no, a place where they can continue to throw money at you is not giving back to the community]

So, Anon, rather then post both of them, I just took a screen shot. Now I am going to gather that you are one of two types of people. 

Type 1. a flaming asshole troll who likes to cause shit, at which point you can go to hell in a handbasket. 

or

Type 2: someone who is too lazy to through my history. 

I’d like to say you were Type 3: someone who missed my general update, didn’t actually read the GFM page (because OMG one of the questions I answered in it is: who does it benefit besides me?), and was asking out of curiosity, but alas the fact both came from the same IP address according to when I blocked you it said I already had with the second, and the tone in the second, I’m going to politely tell you to Fuck Off. 

Now for others who might be wondering why, I will recap the last decade of my life plus my last update.

I was in a car accident, I now have permanent nerve damage, some days I can walk fine, other days not so much. But what about a wheel chair for those days you can’t walk? That’d be great, if I A. could use it with my house (I have steps between my room and the rest of my house, not counting the door to outside with even more steps) and B. if my hall was wide enough. So not a thing. Then there is the fact on those days all I can do is curl in bed and try not to cry from the pain, it’s something I wouldn’t wish on 99% of the world (I’m leaving space open for those people who really deserve pain, like mass murderers and what not). 

I tried working for three years following the accident, that just made things worse. I mean a lot worse. I stopped eating most the time, had a tricky time bathing, was in and out of the hospital for falling related injuries. It wasn’t good. 

So I decided, I tried the adult thing, I tried to work through the pain, even though all that did is make my pain worse and caused more physical damage, it didn’t do it. Let’s try applying for disability. 5 years worth of paperwork and court, just to have a panel of perfectly healthy judges tell me “You have a disability, we don’t think you are disabled enough to qualify for disability however.” 

Yep, they said that. I even took it to my therapist (yeah, I see one twice a month for depression, to go with the physical disability, I have annoying brain chemistry), and asked him to read it to make sure I wasn’t misreading. I wasn’t. 

Right. Well, I do commissions and ghost writing, but there are a lot of people who do both. Some months it pays the bills, others not so much. Then there are the months where things go wrong. I mean massively wrong. Like when I had to ask for help catching up the bills because I had spent 4 months sick and fell way behind, or when Sota got ill. 

I also sell my book Tales of Identity: Memories & Reflections.

Okay then. So, I haven’t been able to find a job in the area I can physically do, I can’t afford to move, I can’t travel to bigger cities because how would I get there and back since the pain would make it impossible to work or I would work and the pain would make it impossible to drive, but this living on commissions, ghost writing, and book sales in between working on my books isn’t providing enough money to survive healthily. 

So I did what I do, I went into figure-this-shit-out mode. The answer? Open a business of my own. Sweet! Except, I haven’t worked in 7 years, my credit is in the shit, and I have no one I can turn to as a cosigner. Well fuck. Now what? 

Oh! I know! GoFundMe and KickStarter! 

As I had used GFM before, it was the easier one to set up, so I set it up and began the sharing process. Do I expect to actually raise all the money on there? No, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. I am working on the KickStarter, but it’s a lot more detailed and takes more time to set up. Particularly when other things keep going wrong. 

If anon didn’t want to donate to GFM, they could have waited for the KS since that comes with various rewards based on money amount.

Now then, back to the anon’s question of who else benefits.

Well because of my disabilities, I included in the amount of money I am trying to raise, the money for a person to work there to do the lifting, stocking, and moving of stuff. That gives at least one person a full time job. If it works out the way I think it will, there will actually be three other people besides me working there, so that’s three people with full time jobs. Who will be able to pay bills and spend money in the community.

Then there is the fact I said an Indie Bookstore. Wait, why is Indie bold? Because my in pain self would like to point out that indie authors only get paid when their books are bought. Now with a traditional book store the book store goes to the publisher and says “I would like these books” and in a lot of cases they are fronted, aka the author gets nothing till they leave the shelf. In the case of an Indie Bookstore, at least with the ones I was talking to owners of, the owner buys the book, so the author gets the money then, and then it’s on the owner whether they sell or not. If the book does well, more of that book is bought. So, that gives any Indie Authors I know about (and yeah, I will be doing a call for indie authors to stock up on y’all’s books because lets support each other) at least a little bit of money. 

Then there is number three, if I am no longer having to ask for money because I have a stable or reliable source of income I can give back to the community by helping others. What a concept, if not needing help, can actually help other people. 

Which leads to number four, I also said market. Right now the farm market peeps are in whatever space comes open that week, which means their sales are not persistent because who knows where they will be. It will give them a place to sell their stuff from. But wait! There’s more, rather then having only one day a week they can sell stuff, they will have the option of ‘renting’ an area to sell stuff every day. So, it’s like they almost have a way to make a little extra money. Geez, what a concept. 

I apologize for the overwhelming snark and I appreciate each and every one of you people who have helped me in any way. You all are awesome, I hope you have a good day. 

GoFundMe for Cosmos Market - Indie Boostore, Arts & Crafts Market