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jeremys-blogs · 4 years ago

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DuckTales: A Generation Reborn?

Ever since it got rebooted a few years back, the new series of DuckTales has been among one of the best shows I've seen from Disney in a very long time. From its humour to its art style to of course its characters, there's been nothing about this show that I haven't loved. And top of that list of pluses is, as mentioned, those great leads. Scrooge, Donald, Webby, the triplets and everyone else has been an utter delight to watch, elevating their characters from their predecessor show to feel so much more like real people. And the show has gone from strength to strength, with each season proving itself to be just as good, if not better, than the last. Is it an even better show than my proclaimed personal favourite of Gravity Falls? I don't think I'll ever be able to truly answer that. But what I can say is that I don't see this show declining in quality anytime soon, and as long as it maintains this stupendous standard that it's set up for itself, then I am more than willing to declare it one of the best things on TV right now, animated or otherwise. A true feather in the cap of Disney's already high-bar TV department.

But the interesting thing about the show and its cast, or at least one of the interesting things, is how it seems to be going with its younger cast, specifically the three brothers of Huey, Dewey and Louie. Now its no secret that each season of the show has focused on one of the brothers, but over the course of their respective development it's come to my attention that the show seems to be presenting them as some kind of successor group to the previous generation's three famous adventurers, Scrooge, Della and Donald. Now, they're obviously a younger "next generation" already, but what I mean is that each brother appears to echo aspects of one of the previous three in some way, akin to kindred spirits or second comings. This is to be expected of course, as the younger generations will always be shaped in some way by those who came before, but even so it caught my attention around the show's second season how each of the brothers seems to be developing in ways that mirror specific adults from their lives, rather than all of them. So what I'm going to be doing here today is laying out my thoughts on who the triplets supposedly take the most after.

The first and most obvious of these comparisons was with our first triplet lead, Dewey. His was by far the biggest role in the show's initial season, and pretty much shared the role of main character with Scrooge himself. And the adult he appears to be the heir of is none other than the boys' long-lost mother, Della. Dewey's connection to her is clear, as he was by far the triplet most devoted and driven to find her. Granted, he kept his brothers in the dark for most of that, but even when they all knew about his quest he was still the most compelled to discover answers about her, even to the point of risking his life over it. Like his mother, Dewey is an exceptionally adventure-hungry individual, far more so than his brothers, and will often take risks the others wouldn't want, frequently without considering the consequences of it, much like Della would have done. And consider too that, when Della finally did reunite with the cast and settle in, Dewey was the son she had her first solo outing with when they and Scrooge went to the Arctic. Dewey's closest adult friend was Launchpad, a pilot like his mother, and overall the boy just has a general draw for action and danger, again like Della. So yeah, there is no doubt in my mind that Della, despite her long absence in his life, has a profound connection to Dewey, perhaps more than either of her other children.

Next up on our look at the triplets is Louie, the one the show focused most on with the second season. And right off the bat, we have another easy comparison, as the second season pretty much started out as establishing Scrooge himself as the one the kid has the most in common with. Sure, there are plenty of differences, like Scrooge's insistence on hard work while Louie was definitely harbouring a lazy streak, but the boy definitely takes after him in plenty of other ways. Their shared love of gold and treasure is a pretty clear one, not to mention their sharp minds and keen business-like mentality. Now Louie obviously had a lot of growing up to do in the second season, like his growing appreciation of the aforementioned hard work as well as coming to realise just how much goes into making a business run smoothly, but overall he definitely seems to be shaping up to be the next Scrooge McDuck, even to the point where a lot of the characters largely associated with Scrooge, most notably Goldie, also now have an established relationship to him. He might not have Scrooge's love of adventure, but it's clear that the boy looks up to him above all the other grownups in his life.

Finally, we come to Huey, the star of the current (at the time of this posting) season. And with everything else that has been said, you can probably guess where I'm going with this. Because the prior adventurer that this triplet best seems to line up with is the famous duck himself, Donald. Now, at first it might seem like this is simply a case of them being the only two left to link up together, but over the course of the show's run there have been several instances of Huey displaying commonalities with his beloved uncle. Foremost of these is that he shares Donald's greater sense of responsibility and caution. Huey is, after all, the one often advising his brothers to take things slow and to think things out rather than rushing into a situation. He's studious, always doing his best to be the mature older brother of the three, and like Donald is frequently regarded as something of a lesser adventurer for it. But while I'm confident in this particular comparison, it does make things difficult when you consider that Huey and Donald are the only pairing in this essay that haven't had any major interactions, as the latter usually spends time with him only when it's all three of them together. Nevertheless, I remain convinced that Huey is Donald's counterpart in the younger generation.

Now, while the triplets were the main focus behind this essay, I know already that there will be people asking the obvious question. What about Webby? After all, she's just as much a part of this as the brothers are, possibly even more so. And you're right, it would be unfair for me to leave her out of this, especially since, like them, she too displays parallels to the past generation of adventurers. She has the same knack for dangerous situations as Scrooge and Della, and she certainly seems to want to live up to the latter's reputation. In many ways, she shares the connection to Della that Dewey has, which makes sense given that he's the brother that she has the closest friendship with. And then, while I was considering this, I decided that perhaps Webby's best comparison would be her own blood, her grandmother, Mrs Beakley. There's no point trying to prove to anyone that they have a bond, as that was evident right from the show's opening two episodes, but the two share plenty besides that, like their fighting prowess and their somewhat ruthless nature, even though Webby is a bit more subdued on that count. Regardless, though Webbigail shares much in common with the old adventurers, it seems likely that her true destiny is to follow the same S.H.U.S.H. path as her granny.

All of this is obviously not a perfect one-to-one comparison of course. None of the kids can really be 100% described as "the Donald" or "the Scrooge", and there's been times where they've overlapped with the other adults I've talked about, like Huey sharing Della's love of video games as one example. But even so I've felt for some time now that there's enough similarities between the generations that a discussion like this can be had. And it's not just limited to the main kids either, as many of the younger cast seem to have a recurring theme of being some alternate version of those who came before. Consider that Lena is what you might get if Magica's powers were used for good and for the benefit of others instead of herself, and comparatively minor characters like B.O.Y.D. come off as nicer and more friendly than his creators. Even possible spin-off characters like Darkwing are getting younger counterparts with the likes of Gosalyn. From day one this show has had the idea of kids picking up where their parents left off, and it's an idea that has been executed pretty well so far. But then, when you have a show this good, how can it be any surprise that its themes were carried out well? 😉

#essay #writing #my stuff #disney #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #huey dewey and louie #dewey duck #huey duck #louie duck #scrooge mcduck #donald duck #della duck #webby vanderquack

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thisiswhatwereupagainst · 6 years ago

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What would the blob look for in a potential significant other?

That’s a difficult question for me. I don’t feel I know enough about Blob to make the best guess possible. So if you disagree with my answer or feel I’m missing something important, keep in mind that’s probably why. The Blobs that I am most familiar with are Evo and 616, so they’re who I’ll be answering for. I think both of them go for looks first and probably haven’t thought through anything beyond that. I realize how that sounds shallow and terrible, and while I do think it is a little typical dudebro to a degree (especially with 616 Blob, who is more of an asshole than Evo Blob usually is) I think it’s also because…well, they’ve neither of them probably ever gotten much past simply looking at a woman. Evo Blob has clearly never interacted with peers in any kind of normal way. Look at him when he starts high school. Jean was NOT the only one he was weird around. When he was lost and wanted directions, he bodily GRABBED a guy and very gruffly demanded help. Even grade-schoolers don’t do that! He had no idea how to interact in anything approaching a normal or appropriate way! Given that when Mystique found him, he wasn’t in school and there was apparently no adult to go “hey who the hell is this Darkholme woman and where is she taking Fred” combined with his childlike behavior (tantrums, etc.) I think it’s fair to say he’s not coming out of a healthy situation and hasn’t had healthy socialization. This is not someone who has probably ever talked to a girl he liked or had one be nice to him, whose exposure to romance has probably been solely from television and movies (which are NOT healthy sources for real life!) and who is used to his physical strength being his only asset in the world, the only way he can get his way. It’s a scary combination, and we see what resulted, but I don’t think it was “typical entitled fuckboy” so much as “this kid needs help NOW or he will hurt someone and get in trouble himself/never have a normal relationship or ability to connect appropriately with others”So going back to the “looks” thing—yeah, I think Evo Blob doesn’t look for anything beyond “I think she’s pretty and she was nice to me” because that’s the MOST he’s ever gotten from anyone. His EXTREME over the top inappropriate way of managing his feelings, his apparent belief that Jean reciprocated, his surprise and then anger when she didn’t, all this shows to me this was the first time this happened, the first time a pretty girl (or probably a girl at all) was kind to him and he had no idea how to handle it beyond going full throttle crazy. That’s clearly all it takes for him to get head over heels in love, because he’s been so deprived of normal human interaction. I think he’s probably gotten a bit better about it since, because he didn’t get obsessed with Tabby just because she asked him to Prom (I think it helps he got to know Tabby as a real, flawed person first, whereas he definitely idealized Jean) but I think that’s still more or less it. They’re very simple standards, shallow even, but not for shallow reasons. (Also, he’s a teenage boy. I don’t think MOST teenagers are really looking for anything deeper than “someone I think is cute and who likes me”)616 Blob is a grown man and also more of an asshole from what I’ve seen. He’s still sympathetic to me, but not AS much as Evo Blob by a longshot. I think he’s someone who started where Evo Blob is, and just became a bitter, maladjusted jerk instead of getting better. It’s not to say he’s heartless, he obviously cares about some people, such as his pal Unus, but he’s not some misunderstood sweetheart. He seems to enjoy being a big bully and a jerk in general. Is that entirely his fault? Maybe not entirely, but I think he still has a choice, and he chooses to be a jerk even to his own teammates a lot of the time. So I don’t think that bodes well in terms of what he’d seek in a relationship. I can really only remember a couple reactions with women—there’s one issue where he’s really exceptionally gross but also I don’t feel like that one was like, a fair reflection to judge him by? I know I just got done say what a jerk he is, but I don’t know, that one felt like it just went too far. I just got the vibe it was one of those issues that makes a character look worse than they normally are. The other is when the X-Men first meet him, I recall he was instantly attracted to Jean and I think he was kinda rude/handsy, and like…it wasn’t cool but also that’s literally how all the X-Men acted to her when she first arrived at the mansion too? Hank literally KISSES her hello. Because it’s the fuckin 60s and sexual harassment is like…not ok per se (Jean’s shown as being in the right for levitating him away as a result) but also sufficiently Not A Big Deal enough that heroes can do it and still be heroes. So idk how I’d feel about judging him based on that now. There’s also a panel I’ve seen where he says “Chicks, man” but I don’t know the context.So basically I have no good sources to go off of in terms of 616 Fred and the ladies, but if I were to make a headcanon, I think that he probably hasn’t had many relationships at all, and he’s very bitter about that. I don’t think he’s an incel or something, but I do think he’s probably pretty shallow about women and feels that’s just fine since obviously they’re shallow about him right back. He’s probably used to rejection, and always assumes it’s his appearance, and he’s probably often right—but feels that since he’s always gonna be judged by how he looks, he might as well not even TRY to have a decent personality, be it with women or in general. I think that’s why he’s embraced being a jerk, I think he just gave up and gave in to his bad traits because why bother improving if no one will give him a chance anyway? And then because he’s a jerk now, the people who might have given him a chance based on a good personality…don’t. So it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, a vicious shitty cycle. Thus I can’t really have any kind of optimistic sweet headcanons about what he’d seek in a partner. Sorry, I can tell you like Blob, and I think he’s a sympathetic character, but that is my opinion. I would like to see him develop better, though! I think Marvel has always really skimped on giving him any kind of personality beyond the “fat bully” stereotype, despite the series having such a large theme about fighting prejudices and not judging by appearances, and I think that him being such a 2D asshole most of the time is really just down to that kind of lazy writing. I’m sure he could be developed far beyond that! He just…hasn’t been yet :C

#fred dukes #blob headcanons #blob meta #Anonymous #The Blob

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 7 years ago

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11/6/17, 4:00pm - Stories of a Wannabe Playboy Jerky Jerk

BIt’s hard to preface this entry without explaining why I’ve been gone so long.

I like to think that it’s simply because I write less when I’m staying busy and I’m happy with everything that’s going on. So my life must be pretty fantastic right now. But I’ve been kicking myself to get back into the groove of this and idk why I can’t. Maybe I’m too complacent? I know for damn sure it’s because I’ve gotten lazy as fuck. Well not lazy, but as an anime I’m watching called Nichijou puts it “peaceful.” My free days I’m laying around either happily getting an excess amount of sleep or binge watching another anime or visiting with friends.

I could go back through my finances and my tweets and try to cover what happened day by day the past two months but that’s entirely too excessive and I think why I quit writing. It’s not creative enough? Or maybe just too mundane. But the entire reason I do this is to capture as much of my life as possible so I’ll be able to remember it later so I don’t really see how capturing the mundanity of it is a problem. I’d suppose it’s just another excuse to be lazy and just capture the highlights.

I don’t really know where to begin. Go backwards? Go forwards?

I quit buying cigarettes again three weeks ago, been bumming them from people at bars, just bought a new pack today to smoke while I sit on the porch and chalk this out I don’t care if it takes hours or not.

Ok so it’s a monday, I guess the first thing I want to write about is my past three monday+tuesdays. I’ve hung out with manu the past two weeks, drinking and playing the new south park game. Which was delightful and I’m glad me and manu finally beat a game again. On the mondays we’d stay at his place and on the tuesdays he’d come over to my place out here and weilin would hang out with us, we’d drink and play through as long as we could getting sleepy throughout the day hanging out. Tossed a frisbee around and talked a little about how life was going. Binge ate a fuckton of pizza and shit. Beautiful days. As was the monday before that, when weilin and I hung out. I had just gotten destroyed at the Arcadian this year, which was incredibly disappointing, so I wasn’t really feeling good about melee. Instead we went over to downtown greensboro and just walked around the city exploring. It was really fucking nice. Still going to board game nights intermittently, but september I was going to this tournament out in winston-salem instead because I was really trying to prepare hard. Shame that didn’t work out lol. My buddy marklar told me that maybe I put too much pressure on myself but I really feel like I need to hold myself to a higher standard or I’m not going to try to get any better. I’ll just idle in mediocrity. Which is very true I but I also can’t really imagine putting in the commitment to getting better. My laptop is starting to break, the screen gets really fucked up lately and I have to smack it around to get it to work right. I want to get a real laptop instead of a chromebook so I can start playing games again. Maybe getting on a netplay grind would be how I get good. I don’t know. I don’t really like the thought of spending money though, since I’ve been doing really well at putting most of my income towards repairing my debt. As a checkup on that I still owe Weilin 8.25k, but I’m down to just 7.5k on my car now, which is kinda excellent. I’m in a much better spot than I was a year ago, that’s for sure. I had to buy a new phone and got the pixel, but dad gave me money for that and I’ve been procrastinating sending my old phone in until I can get the pictures off of it. But even that is a symbol of improvement because this is the first time in my life that I’ve been able to have a really New phone. Like new to everyone, not just to me.

I think I’ve put on a little weight so I’ve been considering dieting again. Slightly considering. I really don’t care all that much. I went as scott pilgrim for halloween this year, and can compare myself now to how I looked four years ago. My hair even kind of looks the same (I finally cut off all the blonde and so now it’s kinda short brown again, but with a little bit of the yellow kinda dazzling the tips lol). I look a hell of a lot better. I’m getting way more action too lmao, but more on that later. I guess I’m pretty satisfied about who I am right now. Instead of feeling buried and crawling to get out I feel like I’m just jogging on a treadmill. I know I’m not really going anywhere but I’m also sort of making progress I suppose? I haven’t really been doing nearly as much melee this past month, my life is mostly work+going out drinking+anime bingeing and resting. Oh and I’ve consistently gone to karaoke on tuesdays, I’m a regular dive bar attendee lmao. It’s delightfully idle. Quit playing hearthstone and watching hearthstone streams and watching twitch almost completely so those are all good things. I’ll take fucktons of anime over that any day.

Speaking of anime let me write out all these shows I’ve watched.

Seen all the new rick and morty and south park, watched my hero academia, up to date on dragonball super, watching this new show Juni Taisen, watching all the new Shokugeki No Soma week to week, finally watched Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and now I’ve started the seasons I accidentally skipped, watching Nichijou, watched all of Haikyu, almost restarted kuroko no basket, and I think that’s everything lmao. Watching new Shokugeki No Somas is particularly enjoyable because it reminds me that I’m being more true to myself than I was when I was just idling smoking a fuckton. Like it still embarrasses me when I met up with Kailey the one time and she asked me if I had seen any of the then new season 2 and I hadn’t even heard it came out. “I thought you’d be more excited” still stings a bit, not gonna lie.

But let me take a second to try to list out the most eventful days the past two months to see if I can get this on track and write about the more interesting shit.

1. Brian wedding, 2. date with Taylor, 3. Ashleigh’s Birthday, 4. Tizzlefest Party, 5. Arcadian+afterparty, 6. Lesbian pool bet, 7. Winston Salem Weird group sex night, 8. Maya prehalloween party, 9. Mary Shenanigans+halloween, 10. General becky update, 11. notes of neighbor girl and angie and katie

Ok wow. So I haven’t updated since September 1st huh?

1. So Brian’s Wedding. Well I didn’t get into the groomsmen so I don’t have a full weekend, just the day of the wedding and that night, but I just had to write how spectacular it was to hang out with Brian Manu Maya Oliver and Christina, as well as Reyad and Alyx and everyone. Getting drunk and stuffing my face with barbecue. Finally burnt through the Jack Daniels bottle I bought for that date with Stephanie like a fucking year ago. Drank more and played some jackbox stuff with people at the groomsman house, played some pool, chatted around a little fire, it was so nice. And even got pangs of nostalgia for Coolidge when I was the last one awake playing Splatoon and manu and christina started having sex so loud I could hear it three rooms away. Fucking classic lmao. Went to Brian’s parents for breakfast the next day. His wife is a sweetie. Then idk I think I went home to watch shitty horror movies with Becky, pretty great.

2. This girl Taylor. The story starts with this smashbros 64 tournament at Boxcar that I went to with my buddy Lex. He’d been talking trash for weeks and I just fucking love that game so we planned on winning the whole thing. Did not go as planned, turns out there’s someone in gboro who Actually plays and he fucking destroyed. But I got third and won a free tshirt! pretty excellent, except that the first time I wore it out I got a grease stain or something on it and it’s sullied already. Fucking rip. But so at this tournament there was another event going on for this deaf group, and so Lex’s gf and her roommate Taylor were there. I’m my normal flirty self when I meet her, and even though I didn’t Think I was hitting on her or anything when she walks away Lex tells me “just to let ya know, she’s actually a lesbian.” and I’m like ah well I wasn’t even really trying but w.e. But I keep chatting with her about movies and such and she’s like overly happy to talk to me and laughs loud at my jokes and shit so I’m kinda picking up on something. I ended up asking for her number before I left for the night, she gave it to me and I commended myself on being the ultimate victor of the evening. Texted lex something like “you Sure she’s not at least bi because I totally just got her number.” Lmfao. Anyway, we were originally talking about having a date going out to bars and doing karaoke or something but instead she just invited me over to her place to chill and drink. Perfect, I think. Not really, lex warns me, it’s probably going to be you and a bunch of dudes and my gf there because their apartment is a chill spot. Oh cool whatever, that’s fine too I think. So that date goes pretty exceptionally well. Her gay friends loved me because I’m bi and I laugh overly loud at their runway shows that they watch, and me and Taylor mostly made fun of them a fuckton for how they sucked at 2k. They all end up going to bed and Taylor’s talking about how everything went so well and how much she wants to go on a second date so I kiss her. And we made out. And I threw her up on the kitchen counter and onto the couch and we’re hardcore making out all over her apartment so I ask to just stay with her but she says no. Second date. I’m just whining like “but you have no idea how much I want to go down on you right now.” But she walks out to my car with me and we’re making out there and I did my stupid ass drunk thing where I start sliding my pants down like I’m a suave piece of shit and she laughs at me and says “you’re probably the type to want to have sex in public” and I’m like “that’s not fair that’s one of my kinks.” hit her with the “i had a vasectomy because I think the onus of birth control shouldn’t be on the woman” and she says something like “how do you know what to say to everything.” She crawls into the front seat of my car and sucks my dick a little, definitely one of the worse ones I’ve had in my life lmfao. I say we should go in the back seat and fool around so we do. It went awkwardly. I think I stuck my finger in her ass while I was going down on her and that probably didn’t help lmfaoooooo. I don’t think either of us got off and I asked her to at least suck me off a little more but she’s just like no. So I giggle and am just like allll righhhht, leaning against my car with my pants off shouting out “so when should I call you for that second date?” she says “like two days” or something. Here’s the catch. When we were making out on the side of my car she tells me that she doesn’t want to do anything because she’d actually never been with a guy before. I was like WOAH that makes so much sense. I don’t really want to push her into doing anything, but then I still went ahead and did all that like a fucking dummy. I’m on top of the fucking world though, thinking that I have a new special notch in my belt for the lesbian girl who’s into me. I play one of the best tournaments I’ve ever played because I feel like I can’t fucking lose. I said something stupid as fuck in discord like “I think I just turned this 90-10 lesbian girl straight tonight.” But alas, it was not meant to be. She didn’t return my texts a few days later. Wouldn’t answer my calls. I left a voicemail apologizing because I realized she might’ve heard from lex about how I said that (She made me promise to “not do any of that gross guy talk about tonight, please”). But I think now what happened was that she just wasn’t really attracted to me as much as she thought she was because it’s exactly like how when I made out with that guy josh and wasn’t really feeling it like even a little bit the next day. Or maybe I fucked up sticking a finger in her ass. Who knows, really. She won’t tell me lmfao. So that beat me up a little bit. Quick trip back down to earth lol. So it goes. Really I think it’s for the best because I don’t want to be her first because I’ve technically sworn off virgins lmao plus I feel like it would just totally have fucked up her whole perspective of guys if she found out I was also seeing someone else. But I might have dropped becky for her and been committed. She was really fucking cool, I would’ve loved drinking and playing 2k with her a ton. But maybe that’s all silly to even think about too. Relationships are dumb, people are dumb, and I’m the dumbest of them all hahahaha. Anyway she knew I was kind of a hoe, she said something like “you’re probably just used to easy girls.” and instead of confessing that I don’t really get that many girls and being more sensitive about it I said something like “well yknow I don’t really see people as ‘easy,’ because all anybody wants is to have a good time.” and she liked that too. But I just made myself out to be a total playboy jerky jerk lmfao. Def wasn’t the strat but maybe that’s actually who I am a little bit. Just a funny cute hoebag lol.

(5:05pm) 3. On that note, I had a great time at Ashleigh’s birthday party, hosted by the bar she works at, free beer for the night for all her guests. It was fucking sweeet. Just sippin on cheap beer hanging with my bud chris and aaron and ash and playing some beer pong. It was basically just another night out drinking, but I happened to run into my first greensboro hookup Brianna there. I introduced her to my friend chris, he asked how we knew each other and she playfully said oh he’s just a big hoe. So it kinda falls in the theme. Plus I decided that running into past hookups at your regular bar makes you an official townie, so I think I’m super at home in Greensboro now. Kinda wanna hit her up again sometime, but meh. She’s a strangeun. I guess all the girls I hook up with are, really. Strange people are the most interesting? Or maybe I think all people are just strange lol.

4. Tizzlefest Party Ok so there was this big smash tournament house party, tizzle’s privileged tour 2 and I actually got off work so I could go drink with everyone. Second in dubz, smoked way too much weed and drank too many shots and got bopped in singles but it was hella fun. First time I got sicky drunk in a longgg time, I was like laying out on their brick porch for a long time lmao. (5:45, had to take a break lol) Played some beer pong and flip cup and mostly just hung out and talked to people, idk I got a little rekt and missed out on a lot. Tizzle’s got two 18yo twin sisters and even though me and my buddy rob were joking about having a threesome with them, I felt like more of a big brother status that night and didn’t even hit on them! Lmao you guys I’m not a total hoe bag i promise. It was a great night though, hung out with the one sister and her friend and my buddy flare most of the night. Stayed up til like 6 in the morning smoking and we had some tea and I finally crashed. After I woke up from being like comatose I didn’t really wanna hang and smash I mostly chilled joking around with these girls in their parents bed with like 6 people. Talking about fetishes and how the one can’t have an orgasm even though her bf’s dick is like 10 inches it was a funny night. Missed seeing some tits but like I said I don’t really care. Which is weird. Maybe it’s just because so many other guys were barking up their tree that I didn’t really feel like it? Or maybe 18 just really is too young for me now. Idk idk idk. Oh wait maybe it’s because they both knew me as “the shirtless guy” from my and tizzle’s mm last year llmfaooooooooo. Kinda would’ve shot any attempts to get with them in the foot for sure. Got super out drunk by my buddy rob though. we were supposed to try to go shot for shot and I had 5 before I finished playing in bracket, but when I got off the sticks he already had 21 i was like what in the fuckkkk. he ended up puking a few times and passing out and coming back and ended up with like 32 or some nonsense. Excited for the next one for sure though.

5. Arcadian I don’t really have too much to say about. It was hard to fall asleep after work because I was too excited. showed up pseudo rested and got fucking wobbled by this ICs first round and then lost to this samus I haven’t beaten going 1-2 felt really bad. Drank a whole lot and was shouting about traps and shit while I watched clem body everyone and take the win. Pretty proud of him tbh, it’s nice to see people who I started playing with do well but also really frustrating. Anyway what was great about that night was my raleigh crew actually stayed at my place in gboro for once. We got fucking lit and made tacos, it was wonderful. Then we went to smith street diner in the morning and had a dank ass breakfast, I had this deliccccious pork. God I love pork belly so much that taste is the fucking best.

6. Ok so there’s this one night I went drinking with Aaron on a wednesday to this bar next to geeksboro. We drink a little and he’s like showing me how to play pool since he’s way better than me but there are these two girls playing next to us. I think I ended up saying hey and we all start talking smack about who would win. They wanna bet money but we don’t wanna take their money so we bet shots. The one is like 40 and she’s all about it, but the other is my age and she says that won’t work for her bc she’s trying to stay sober. On a whim she says alright well if we win we get to peg you in the ass. Instantly I’m like SOLD. First of all because I had confidence in Aaron and myself, but also because getting taken home by two lesbians sounds fucking hilarious. Pegging is gonna be the new eating ass for 2018 i swear. We ended up beating them, Aaron made me hit the 8ball so I saved my own ass, and we made a whole bunch of jokes about how he saved my ass and how I’m pretty clutch when my ass is on the line, good times. The 40 year old chick was fucking crazy though lmao humping me on the pool table and she ended up taking her shirt off, i think she wanted me to go home with them still but passed to go with aaron home to do somethingorother. Ended up giving my number to the other girl, we had had a nice talk on the porch about how I had fucked up with Taylor and about how she was kind of in a semiabusive relationship with that chick and she ended up texting me the next day but I haven’t heard from her since. She lives in Winston maybe I’ll hit her up one day. I just remember her long black hair and tight leather pants lol. Pretty fyne. But just a passing acquaintance.

7. Ok so like 3 weeks ago I don’t have work on a friday night so I’m chilling at home bingeing Haikyu. I decide I don’t really want to go out and if becky hits me up that’s cool because she’s out drinking with her friends. Becky asks me if I’m up to anything at like 1:30 in the morning and I’m like nah you wanna come over, and she passes out lol. So I’m still just hanging out watching anime when I get a message at 3:30 in the fucking morning from this guy I met at one of the winston monday tournaments. He says he’s over at his gf’s place at this all girls college and says her roommate’s looking for some male company. I’m like huwhaaaaaa. He gets her on fb video with me and she basically says “yeah I haven’t really been drinking in a bit, i’m just bored and horny now. So if you make it over here asap you have my explicit permission to fuck the shit out of me.” I’m like holy fucking shit wow. I knew she was gonna be a little chubby but I couldn’t bring myself to pass it up because i’m a fucking hoe and I thought it was hilarious that I was solicited for sex by a stranger at 3:30 in the morning. So I showered off real quick and sped the fuck over there. Weird ass night. They were locked out so his gf has to jump down this pit to get into the building and fucks up her foot, I attend to that medically, drink the last bit of my south carolinian everclear to make this all less weird, and have group sex with them basically. Got my cock stroked by two girls at the same time, we both had sex on this couch, fucked around with her for like a half hour, but I’m not gonna lie I was really struggling to stay hard. Fatties only make me think of work and diseases and stuff now hahahaha. Doesn’t matter, had sex. Now I have her as a booty call if I’m really desperate but not really lookin to do that again tbh.

8. Maya invited me to a halloween party at her place the weekend before halloween, and I tried to ask off work but couldn’t get the day off because my boss had patients scheduled three weeks in advance. I was like damn, but when I asked for my schedule that week it turned out that patient cancelled! So I got to go out to visit Maya and had a sweet night drinking and playing beer pong with manu christina pacos and rianne her roommate. Didn’t get too sloppy but was doing shots all night having a good time, maya showed me her apartment and her room and stuff she’s living in a pretty sweet spot. oh and remet a bunch of maya’s friends who I fucking forgot the names of againnnn dammit. Had a nice little moment chilling with pacos and christina on the couch catching up about stuff, talking about anal and all sorts of sexy weirdness lmao. Poor pacos’s dad though, such a shame about his condition. Lmao Christina and Manu disappeared at one point and pacos was like worried they left him there, so we walk around the house, check their car, check my car, couldn’t find them anywhere. Go back into the party and I’m like “oh my god I have an idea hold on stay here.” did what I would do and walked out the front door and immediately a few steps to the right and sure enough there they were fucking on top of an AC unit hahahaha. Manu was saying her back was scratched to fuck from that thing. Also I can’t remember what it was called but we were drinking this mix of bourbon and like spices that was really delicious. Most of the girls there were kinda busted so I didn’t really flirt around and didn’t think anything would happen with her roommate, but as the night was winding down and I was helping them clean up a bit she started saying things like “damn I just wanted to fuck tonight.” and asked maya like four times “doesn’t he kinda look like that last guy I was hooking up with?” Made some moves and ended up having sex with her. It was phenomenal sex, too. Yknow that drunk sex where you just power through until you’re like on the brink of collapse because you’ve been fucking for like an hour straight? Holy shit, spent my whole refraction period (which wasn’t too too long) with her on my face. That second nut where you really have to give it your all is my shitttt. Lol trying to get my stuff in the morning was such a problem i couldn’t find shit like had to keep waking her up to find my wallet I hope she isn’t frustrated about that. Took Maya to the airport and jammed out to some My Chemical Romance, was great.

9. So this girl Mary. She’s another regular at my karaoke dive bar, and sept 20 (thanks, twitter) we start chatting a bunch and decide to sing some songs together. It was like the week after I had been jokingly hitting on her married stepsister, maybe I got a good word from her or something. But so I put my arm around her casually at the bar and my buddy zach says something like “if you touch her like that again I’ll fucking kill you.” So I tweeted out fucking challenge accepted hahahaha. So later that night she says like “hey I know this is a little forward or weird but do you want to go out sometime?” and I’m like “of course!” we plan out some picnic with sandwiches and make out a bunch at the bar. Then we’ve been snapchatting a whole lot since but never got around to the date because we’re both busy with whatever, she has a new normie job so our schedules don’t match up much. But on halloween we’re both at the bar, I’m hanging with aaron and ash and chris and the gang, and end up taking her home. She’s making me like a turkey sandwich and I notice her dad dressed like Jerry Garcia on the fridge. The Craziest shit is it turns out that she had the same kind of childhood I did where she went around the country going to dead and phish shows too, she even knew what fucking rainbow gathering was. I was talking about selling crystals in the parking lot and she was like same but grilled cheeses. So fucking weird I like her a lot now lol, even more than when we just talked about cartoons we were watching. And she’s pretty voracious too lol we had sex twice that night and twice in the morning. ANND she’s a squirter. Which is fucking neato. Always nice to know when you’re getting them off hahahaha. Dunno when we’re gonna hang out again but maybe soon? idk I’m not really trying hard at anything these days.

10. So that brings us to Becky. The past two months have been really cool. We hang out like every sunday, watch a bunch of shitty horror movies, binge watched stranger things 2 together, we usually have a bunch of sex. But things have been slightly falling off on the passion side I guess? idk she’s always been a little too passive for me. And I’m not as up for fucking up my sleep schedule to go to j club and learn japanese so idk. Lazy. We went to a cat cafe with her friend this weekend and didn’t hook up for the first time so maybe I’ll let things die off with her. But she also had to talk to her parents about how she’s taking another semester so maybe she was just stressed. I remember like the third time we hung out after we fucked she just says “god, I’ve been looking forward to that all week.” Made my day hahahaha. She’s really cool but we’ve been seeing each other so long it kinda makes me worry about the status of our relationship, but I think hopefully we’re on the same page that we’re still just friends with benefits. Hopefully. Kinda on a don’t ask don’t tell kinda deal with that though I’d rather not talk about feelings since I’m in a unique position of not having them for once. Very strange considering how until now I’ve still been the ‘serially monogamous’ type. But Becky’s cool I like her a lot too. Just definitely wouldn’t be able to commit to her I don’t think.

11. last, my neighbor finally hit me up to hang out. But she did it on a friday night when I had work so that sucks. Glad to know she didn’t just ghost me though. And Angie hit me up in september. I told her that I was kindasorta seeing becky to be courteous and we talk about life a little bit and she said that I’m “one of the good ones.” I like to hold onto compliments like that. I texted her a bit when I was at maya’s party too, she’s kindasorta seeing some guy too, so I’m not gonna try to rekindle anything with her I don’t think. And Katie I don’t really have anything to say about I just figured I’d mention her because she’s liked a fuckton of my tweets and every instagram pic I’ve posted lately even though she has that cute baby boyfriend of hers now. Just interesting.

So those are my playboy wanna be jerky jerk stories. Embraced becoming a regular Scott Pilgrim. Super satisfied about everything in my life, and happy about just about everything. Still lazy as fuck and not doing too much of anything but life is so good right now. Hope I didn’t forget any cool stories and probably could have gone into more detail but this is long as fucking enough.

It’s 6:30 now I’ve spent long enough writing. Til next time lol.

0 notes

3one3 · 7 years ago

Text

The Sequel - 850

Perfect Martini

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Lulu Schü would love these fries. Should we bring some back for him? They probably won’t travel well.”

“Do you still feel bad we didn’t bring him?”

“No. Can you hand me another napkin?”

André walked over to the horse show to collect Christina for lunch when she was finished riding Nick and Rio during the open schooling period in the competition ring wedged between the restaurants and Monaco’s famed, glittering harbor. He wanted to take her to a burger joint a few blocks away, and have an hour alone with her. Lukas was going shopping with Espen. The whole family had been together nonstop for days and days, and mostly out on the water. The player was getting cabin fever, and wanted a break from family time. He knew he was going to get lots of breaks from it throughout the weekend since his girl would be spending much of her time around the show, but he also knew she would be around all of her friends too. Burgers for lunch would probably be their last “date” of vacation. The place he found had an old McLaren Formula 1 car on the wall, and two kinds of French fries. Christina ordered both. Her crispy shoestring fries were plain and crunchy, and her thicker, softer, plank-like chips were smothered in liquid cheese and bacon. André had seen a lot of pure pleasure, delight, plain happiness, and joy in his wife’s face recently. She looked as happy about the two paper cartons of fries as anything else.

“Remind me again. When I give him my condolences, am I supposed to be very grave and serious, or is it more like an “oh, that’s too bad” kind of thing? I don’t know the protocol for this,” he told her while she wiped grease from her hands so that she could respond to a message from Daniel, who just lost one of his best horses-his first Olympic mount, no less- to colic. The horse was home in Belgium, so he didn’t get to say goodbye.

“Something in between. Just try to be natural,” Christina shrugged. Her colleague wanted to know if she had any extra wristbands for all-access at the Tour venue.

“Do you like your burger?”

“Yeah, it’s really good. D’you want a bite?”

André nodded and the rider passed her paper-lined plastic basket over the piles of fries. She got a turkey pesto burger with melty fresh mozzarella and tomato on garlic ciabatta. The only reason she was even willing to give up an André-sized bite was the fries. Christina was definitely going to devote more of her stomach’s capacity to fried potato, liquid cheese, and bacon. The two athletes had been eating very well on the boat, not drinking too much, and working out together regularly, so they were due a major indulgence. They’d been sharing all of their food too, and pretty much everything else. The BVB sophomore always believed that their relationship would be saved and strengthened when they could be together again for an extended period, without distractions, and their sailing holiday was proving the theory, at least in the short-term. They couldn’t get away from one another, and everything was great. Being stuck together on the water, out of sight of dry land, was like forced therapy. There was no telling if the new intensity of their bond would last when there were miles between them again, but there was hope.

“This is good as a sandwich but a burger should be a burger,” he declared after the taste test. His order was beef and Swiss with onions and mushrooms, lettuce, and tomato, on a brioche bun. As indulgences go, it was a pretty big one for him. Taking Christina out for burgers and fries was a bit of a ritual thing for him though, so it was fitting. It was his solution for a lot of her problems, and their problems. There was no way she could be overwhelmingly upset if she was enjoying a cheeseburger. A meal like that could subdue fires enough for him to get in there and work to put them out instead of just throwing water at a blaze one bucket at a time, which is how it sometimes felt to him when he tried to fix his wife’s more complex problems.

“Your face is a burger.”

“Are we going back to the show after this or are you all done?”

“I promised a Eurosport writer half an hour, but I can invite her to the boat. It doesn’t have to be at the show if you don’t want to go back. Or I can just go back by myself,” Christina shrugged before feeding herself a long potato plank dripping with cheese, one savory bite at a time.

“I don’t care about the venue. I’m thinking about free time to do things. Would you like to visit the shops near the casino? Walk around? After your interview I guess.”

“Yes! But I also want to be back in time to do Munchkin dinner and bedtime, and have a disco nap with you before I have to get ready.”

“How late are we going?” André raised an eyebrow at his girl’s proposed agenda. They were expected at the official GCT pre-party at a nightclub, and Lukas was supposed to go to bed early because his schedule was getting out of control. Vacation was terrible for keeping him on a program.

“It doesn’t start until 10 and we can’t be the first people there. Duh. Oh! Maybe I can get new shoes or something for the party. I feel so disadvantaged being away from my closet for so long.”

“You could just wear these strange riding pants,” the player suggested as he leaned over to look under the table. Christina did her morning schooling in baby pink breeches and a white adidas tee.

“They’re not strange! They’re nice. They’re girls’ actually. I ordered them online from the US.” Things I never would have bought in the past: baby pink anything for riding, the rider chuckled to herself. I used to get dirty all the time though. If you don’t have to do any of the dirty barn work, you can wear light pants. I mean, if I manage to wear white breeches all day on every show day without being filthy, baby pink is okay. “Plus I can walk around places like Monaco in them and maybe other people just assume I’m wearing pink leggings. Pikeur gray stands out in a crowd because nobody wears regular pants in that color. They have to be riding pants. And it would be weird to wear any of my navy or black ones because it’s summer and it’s hot and who does that?”

“Hey, I like this look. The Velcro cuff thing opened and turned up to show off the ankles really complements the thong sandals,” André joked about his girl’s standard warm weather post or between-rides outfit. He was also teasing about ankles, because she complained about every single pair of pants he wore out in public on the entire trip because they were short and showed off his ankles. She didn’t like that unless he was also wearing sandals, and he always wore sneakers or loafers.

“I like the look of the cheese fries. Actually, can you take a picture of me with all the food?” she asked, thoughtful. “I haven’t posted anything fun in days.” Her family holiday had gotten very private. André wasn’t kidding when he said he didn’t need to share his vacation with 3 million followers, and Christina followed his lead. They took a ton of pictures on the water, on beaches, on a bike ride through a wildlife park, on playgrounds, and in multiple ice cream shops. The snaps were just for themselves though. Christina sent a few to Juan, and Natasha, and even Tom. There was a small sense of liberation in ignoring social media for 10 days. Her partner in crime and potatoes took a photo of her biting into her turkey burger, with all the other food in the foreground, and then told her she couldn’t have her phone back to post it until after they finished eating. He didn’t want to be there all day.

Lilly XO was docked a 90-second walk from the GCT media center tent, directly east of the famous swimming pool. She was flanked by other superyachts on both sides. If her owner were exceptionally lazy, she could walk to the end of that section of the dock and have the Fonz pick her up in the launch there and drive her 20 seconds deeper into Port Hercule to the “by water” entrance to the horse show. Obviously it was easier to walk. Christina met up with her interviewer at the tent and invited her to walk over to the boat with her and André so that they could have their chat there and she could change before walking 15 minutes or so to the boutiques that made her smile as part of the backdrop during the Monaco Grand Prix of the motorsport type.

The interview was almost entirely about the Olympics- how she was preparing mentally, how the horses were prepared, who she expected to be the toughest competition individually and as a team, her expectations for the venue, her hopes for the experience, etc. It wasn’t supposed to be. The writer told Christina she wanted to talk about the Tour. The rider kept trying to steer things away from the Games. She wished she had just done the sit-down at the media tent, because she could have easily pretended something came up on her phone and ended it early. It was a lot harder to do that while sitting on her own deck. It would be rude to ask her to leave. Her anxiety about being trapped in the interview, and forced to discuss the thing she’d been avoiding so diligently, made her regret all the French fries too. Her stomach hurt. Her face felt hot even in the shade of the next deck up. André couldn’t bail her out because he was playing with Lukas, inside. The whole thing put her in a bad mood, and he paid for that later.

The problem was that Christina didn’t want to have any expectations for anything. She didn’t want to anticipate riding well, riding just okay, or riding badly. She didn’t want to anticipate it being fun, or stressful. There was no room for wondering if she would find it all rewarding, or challenging, or life-changing, or perhaps even disappointing. She couldn’t think about what it meant for Dirk. She absolutely couldn’t think about possibly being left out of the team again. Everything about the Olympics was scary, because everything was riding on it. It meant too much. So much of her desire, and so many of her goals, was stacked on those colorful rings. It was the Holy Grail off in the distance, and just as mysterious, so there was no telling what she’d encounter on the last leg of the journey to finding it. André was the one who urged her to dream that big. It was never even an option before he came into her life. She was terrified of what resentment toward him might flourish inside of her if it didn’t work out. She hated him for making her love and need him so much when he left her, and it was unbearable. Olympic failure presented the real possibility that she’d feel that again- that it would be “his fault” that there was even a thing out there for her to want like that. And that presented the real possibility of marriage collapse. The foundations had been creaking for so long already, and the reinforcement project was nowhere near complete.

André kept poking at her when she turned into a pensive, quiet, and snappy shopping date. Eventually she did more than just snap at him. She wanted him to back off and stop digging to understand what was wrong with her, and what happened to the much more palatable mood from earlier. Then they got in a fight about the price of a Chanel bag. Following that was the fight about how they could possibly have a fight about a Chanel bag. The concluding fight was about the party. André didn’t want to go anymore. He didn’t want to do anything with her while she was “being a pill”. The cranky, triggered rider said she’d just go alone, then. There were friends to meet up with there anyway. But it wasn’t a fun party. The pop music was too loud. The strobe lighting was painfully distracting. Most of the guests were either huddled in small, exclusive groups, or shouting at each other near the equine ice sculpture and shellfish buffet. Most of the people found Christina’s short fuse off putting too. Kent’s head was bitten off for making a joke about her trying to get a Bellini, for example. He pulled a face like he didn’t understand what he did wrong or what just happened, and then excused himself to chat to other people. The only one who found her bad attitude amusing was Daniel, and he suggested they ditch the cliché party and go find a chilled out bar for a real cocktail instead of a club drink.

“Do you know what a Serendipity cocktail is?” he asked the pretty woman serving drinks at the busy but more relaxed drinking establishment he chose a few blocks from the booming club. It had a second floor terrace that seemed to be the life of the party. The riders grabbed stools at the bar inside. That there were stools available at all said everything about the density of the population in there.

“No,” the green-eyed blonde admitted. “Walk me through?”

“Tall glass; fresh mint- but don’t muddle it,” Daniel smiled back. “You’re going to like this,” he added, turning to Christina, who was checking to make sure the low part of her high-low hem tank dress wasn’t stuck under a leg of the stool. It was jade jersey and she liked it a lot. Damage wouldn’t do. That silhouette was becoming her favorite for summer, primarily because it was easy, showed off her legs, cool, and generally carefree. The example she wore that night was just a bit longer than the others, and thus she had to be mindful.

“Okay, next?” the bartender asked once she’d obtained the proper glass and dumped some mint leaves down at the bottom.

“Ice to the top. Perfect. Now your best Calvados...” The tall and prematurely graying Olympian turned back to his colleague for a second with narrowed eyes, and then said to fill a third of the glass with the vaguely apple-tinged liquor. “Then a nice brut champagne to the next third. Fill the rest with apple juice. No need to shake.”

“Is it like public knowledge that I love apple juice?” Christina asked skeptically while she watched the rest of the cocktail come together. She let him order for her because the prospect of making a decision made her head hurt. Everything made her head hurt. Her head hurting made her inflict hurt on everyone around her. She knew her mood was insufferable, and felt like she couldn’t get out of her own way in terms of fixing that. Everything annoyed her, and every annoyance ballooned. It was like being really, really overtired and cranky, but she was pretty well rested.

“I don’t know. My knowledge is first-hand. I’ve watched you drink at least a hundred apple-somethings. You have a t-shirt that says “I like juice boxes” with a picture of apple juice. I have even watched you lick apple juice and horse saliva from your fingers after you feed a whole apple to Dirk and he takes it in bites and makes a mess. That’s disgusting, by the way.”

“Ehh. It’s just horse slobber. He eats the best of everything. Won’t kill me,” she shrugged as the Serendipity drink was placed on a napkin in front of her with a black straw. Her first sip was surprising. Her eyes grew wide. This is delicious! It’s boozy, bubbly apple juice. Not too sweet, not too alcoholy, and so...fresh.

“Good, yeah?”

“Amazing. Thank you,” she said, hoping one expression of gratitude could stretch to cover both the woman and her friend.

“You’re very welcome. And for you, sir?”

“Can you do a perfect martini with Filliers?”

“Oui oui. Do you have a preference for the vermouths?”

“Vermouths? Plural?” Christina interjected, puzzled.

“A “perfect” martini has a sweet one and a dry one,” Daniel supplied. He told the server he didn’t care which ones. Christina committed this information to her memory forever. It annoyed her that she didn’t know there was such a thing as a “perfect” martini. But then, everything annoyed her. “Should we see if André wants to come meet us?”

“He’s mad at me.”

“Why?” Daniel questioned. He got a look back from her implying he should already know the answer. “What’s the matter with you, then? You remind me of when Christian beats you fair and square and you can’t do anything about it but act like a petty child.”

“I gave Bettina 30 minutes on background for the TV broadcast and all she asked me about was the Olympics. I am not ready. I am pretending that’s still forever from now.” It was surprisingly easy for Christina to open to up to her fellow rider about her current state of anguish. He’d proven to her a few times that he could empathize with her specific problems, and that was a rare thing. It wasn’t stubbornness or close-mindedness on her part when she thought no one really “got” it. There were literally only a couple of people in the world who could possibly know how she felt about things when it came to her career, the balance with her personal life, and all the fringe matters. They were the only ones with similar experiences. Daniel was the only one she was actually close to, and trusted. Ironically, he was one of the people she had the most friction with in the beginning of her story with the German federation.

“Are you nervous or just not ready to process it yet?” he asked her, demonstrating some of that understanding, and patience too. He wasn’t going to tease or be dismissive.

“I’m not ready to start accepting the pressure. I know I should start now, so that it’s not like being hit by a truck when the day comes that I have to acknowledge that I’m going, hopefully, and that all the significance I’ve attached to it is...like...it’s now. It’s time. It’s happening. It’s not theoretical. I just can’t get there. I’m pretending it’s not waiting in the future to come for me. When I was in school I used to convince myself that I didn’t need to go to class, or do the reading, and I could figure it all out later. Then it was later and I was buried. I knew I was making a bad choice even as I did it. I feel exactly the same now. But I don’t want to give up all the days between now and then. Once I start letting the pressure settle in, that’s all I’ll be able to think about. And I don’t even know if I’m going yet!”

“You’re going.”

“Yeah, but I mean, you never know with-“

“Heiner said you don’t need to go to the trial. That means you’re going. It will be you, Marcus, Christian, and me. Realistically, who else would it be?” The taller, ever so slightly older and more experienced German ride cocked an eyebrow at the beautiful girl beside him and then sampled the martini offered to him with a twist.

“I don’t know.”

“Think of the horses. Who would he want right now besides Dirk, Taloubet, EVT, and Pret or Gin Chin? That’s the only question for me,” he testified, matter of fact. “Pret or Gin Chin.”

“Pret.”

“You think?”

“I think Marcus thinks.”

“That’s the right choice then.”

“I like Gin Chin.”

“You like my Killer Queen?”

“They’re related, no?”

“Yeah.”

“I love the way you ride her. She seems like she constantly wants to lose her shit and you look after her like it’s no big deal. It’s like- You gotta humor me here for a second,” Christina laughed, temporarily shelving her self-centeredness. “Whenever I watch you ride her I’m like, “Ugh, Daddy.” And- Don’t look at me like that! I get those feels. Because you help her so much and try to make it so easy for her and you don’t get upset when she’s all “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING AND I AM KILLER QUEEN!”,” she laughed about the young mare her teammate had recently taken on. The Belgian bay seemed pretty talented, but very green, and uncertain. “I notice you even jump up her neck a little before the fence just to let her know you’re really going with her, and she totally waits for it. I can see that flicker in her for a half a second when she’s thinking of sucking back but then doesn’t because you sit forward. I can see when you trust her not to lose her shit once in a while too. It’s sexy, man. You ride sexy. What can I say.” Christina shrugged and winked while sipping her wonderful new favorite cocktail from the straw.

“I didn’t know you watched that closely.” The other rider smiled casually and sipped his drink too after complimenting the bartender and giving her a credit card to start a tab.

“Obvs. I learn more watching all you guys than I do from the H’s, easily.”

“I think your rides on Rio are sexy, the way you mean it. Especially now that he’s so fit. I don’t know how someone your size can hold a horse together that covers ground like a bullet train, has no apparent sense of self preservation, and wants to sprint the last three strides no matter what. I watch and I know you’re telling him where to put each foot. You choreograph the 12 individual footfalls in about two blinks of the eye, and they’re always perfect. And usually you have to do it from the backseat!” he laughed. “Andreas and I were laughing a few weeks ago at a close up on the TV with you like Superman, you know? Arms straight out, like this?” Daniel demonstrated one of her more unflattering jumping positions, created by the necessity to catch up to Rio in the air after sitting back and leaning on his mouth to get him to slow down and collect. “I told him you do strength poses like that in the gym, and that clearly this horse is why,” he smiled, being slightly sarcastic. “I don’t think he believed me.”

“You should come to my house and bring some horses- Actually, everyone should. We should all school together where there’s a full course of jumps to play with. I already learn watching you guys in the schooling ring at shows but it’s different when it’s not just a warm up. And I have so much room now.”

“That’s it? No rejection that I am impressed by your riding? No assurance that it’s not that difficult?”

“Sorry. I was already past that conversation in my head when I opened my mouth,” Christina chuckled. “Thanks? I guess? I also just ignore it when guys say anything I do is sexy, even though, yes, I know you meant it the way I meant it when I said it before, and not the conventional way.”

“Are there really that many ways to mean “Ugh, Daddy”?”

“Yes! I didn’t mean “Ugh, Daddy, pull down my underwear and spank me,” or something. It’s just...ugh, Daddy. Period. End of the thought. It’s more a caretaker thing. I dunno man,” she laughed, giving up and holding out her arms. “I have Daddy Issues, capitalized, trademarked, etc. Everyone knows this. You’re the only straight dude who has ever called my riding sexy, so this is just as weird for me! Usually it’s like, Rafa, telling me I look sexy in a magazine and not to tell my sister-in-law.”

“I honestly don’t understand when I see “sexy” pictures of you in adverts.” Daniel looked over at her and made a strange face, like he was trying not to grin but not really succeeding. “It looks like you, sure, okay, but I don’t know you as a sexy person. You don’t do sexy things in the stables, I guess. I don’t know. Horse girls have never been sexy to me.”

“Gee thanks!”

“You know what I’m saying.”

“I wasn’t fishing for compliments. It’s okay.”

“Oh, you know what? I did think you were sexy once.”

“Fantastic.”

“You were lying on a curved lounge chair by the pool in Doha in a bikini and doing a magic trick.”

“Huh?”

“You had a volleyball and you were using your heel to roll it over your butt and into the middle of your back, and then it would stop and go up by your foot again. Do you remember the loungers there? They were curved.” He demonstrated a W-shape with his pointer to jog her memory about the wonderful pool furniture that gave her the favored stretching sensation in her back by turning it into a U. “The ball going up and over your behind and down to your back and then back again was mesmerizing and I didn’t know how you could do it so perfectly and continuously.”

“Magic trick, correct.” Christina winked and then had a look around the bar. It was in a fairly long and narrow space between the stairs up from the dining room and the restrooms at the back. It was half the width of the dining room because the kitchen was wedged in behind the wall of liquor bottles. Whatever was still cooking in there smelled good. It was pretty quiet inside but for the din of all the voices outside on the terrace- some laughing, some telling stories, some flirting, no doubt, and many shouting over each other. Something kind of unusual dawned on the rider while she absorbed the surroundings and decided it was a comfortable place to hang out. Daniel is my friend. We’re friends now, not just teammates, or horse show friends. Actual friends. I’m not looking around at everything in here because I’m uncomfortable, or not uncomfortable but just not comfortable, or because I have nothing to talk about. I’m perfectly fine. I have been so with him for a long time, really. I don’t know why I discount him as a friend when I think about my lack of friends. Marcus too, sort of. I don’t relate to him as well on a social, non-horse level, because he’s old. It’s a little different. But still. And D doesn’t even hit on me, so there’s that.

“Is anyone from home going to come to Tokyo with you?” her “new” friend questioned absently while he appeared to be returning a text to his partner.

“No, and I wish you’d stop saying that like it’s a definite,” she chided.

“It is. Why isn’t anyone coming? André has football already?”

“Yeah, and it’s a bit much for Lukas. I’m okay with it just being me and Tom Tom.”

“You two are a good match. How did that come to be?”

“We were assigned,” Christina giggled around her straw. “Props to Holger, I guess.”

“What about Stefanie and Kyle? They’re not coming even just to watch?”

“Stef can’t afford it, financially or time-wise, and if I’m there then I need Kyle home riding.”

“Juan Mata?”

“Football.”

“I can let you borrow my dad, I guess. He’s a pretty good horse show dad, and he’ll already be there and everything.”

“Aww, thanks, pal.”

“Serendipity is good for you. No more biting heads off. Champagne and apples go a long way for women addicted to horses and winning, I guess.”

“I just wasn’t in the mood for that kind of party,” she humbly admitted, eyes on the cement-look bar. “I wasn’t in the mood for existing alone inside my head either. That happens to me a lot. Like at Olympia. I get into this thing in my head where I need someone to just hear me out and let me get the stuff out of there but I don’t trust anybody to listen because I don’t think they’ll understand, because they don’t have the same experiences or situations as me, and then I’m sure they’ll get preachy because they don’t understand. I don’t want to talk to them to get advice or to solve something. I just want to talk at them and feel like they hear me and they get it. So I feel aggressively alone and it...sucks. I can’t talk to Schü about the Olympics. He looks so panicked whenever it comes up because he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing- like be too rah-rah, or too cautious, or overhype it, or underhype it, whatever. Then I get mad because he’s supposed to always know the best thing to do or be or say. I can’t talk to Juan either. He’s not afraid of the subject, but his faith and belief in my ability to have the exact experience in Tokyo that I want and need to have just drives me nuts. It’s not realistic. He also makes me feel stupid for ever questioning myself. My friend Nat never has anything significant or meaningful to say about sporting matters. Her only experience is as Eden’s rock, which actually means staying out of sports psychology and stuff. She’s his home away from all of it. It always seems to take me half a day too long to remember that you are the closest to fitting into my shoes. Figuratively of course, since your feet are like three times the size of mine.” Christina held a foot out in a boring T-strap sandal. Aside from being pleased with her dress, her mood was too dour to get excited about dressing for the party. Her ensemble lacked effort.

“Heiner said to me one time that he wishes you were less intelligent,” the other rider offered in response to her lengthy explanation that was really meant to be a “thank you” for lending her his ear. “It was during the Nations Cup last year. He thinks if you were more dumb, you would have less things happening inside your head to be wrapped up in- less psychological weight to have on your shoulders. We all see it, you know? It’s not hidden. Everyone can see when you’re in trouble because your ankle is collapsing, and when you’re in trouble because you have too much happening inside. Then he argued with himself and said that you wouldn’t ride as well if you were stupid, so it was a moot point. My point in sharing his confliction is that you should try to accept that you think a lot about everything, and keep finding good ways to do it, as opposed to fighting it, or being down on yourself for it. It’s who you are. There are things we all need to improve about ourselves, but we have to make sure we don’t misidentify them, and try to change the qualities that are actually our best strengths. For example, I knew I needed to learn to play nice with you and stop being so competitive, taking everything personally even when it wasn’t up to you. So I did that, and stopped getting upset at you for being selected over me, or upset at you for beating me, and refocused on being upset that anyone was selected instead, so that I could use it as motivation. Because I can’t stop being competitive. Heiner would say, I assume, that you should keep talking to us about the things that you struggle with, or that you just can’t get off your mind, instead of keeping them in and letting them turn you into a bitch or screw up your performance.”

“I don’t always think of it though,” the girl in jade complained after drinking enough of her beverage to take it below the ice level. “I literally don’t think of you guys as resources that way until after I’ve exhausted all other avenues. I’m not used to having people in riding. I spent all my junior years learning to keep my mouth shut around everyone but my very best friend, because I was always offending people, or starting fights between others, or getting my trainers in trouble. Plus there was no one in my shoes then either. The other girls didn’t have the same attitude about their riding that I did. I just kept stuff to myself, or I told Jill, my best friend. She was very different from me.” Why am I still talking, she wondered idly. I should have just said, “Yeah, that’s right, and I’ll try to work on doing that”. I can’t get out of my own damn way today.

“I’m thrilled you think of me when you see Furry porn but not when you need a friend.”

“Okay that was like twice, dude, and you were the one who brought up Furry sex. I saw those gifs and just had to send them to you!” The lighthearted exchange about her unwanted texts helped to lift the mood, or at least to eliminate the need to wrap up the serious conversation with some kind of finality, or conclusion. The more German of the two Germans kept running with the new topic.

“Where even were you on the Internet that you found those things? You never said,” he laughed pointedly, also nearing the end of his martini.

“Buzzfeed, probably. I get bored on planes and beaches. Their stupid quizzes are addicting. I built an ideal hamburger and Buzzfeed said, of all the world leaders, I’m Angela Merkel. Isn’t that cool? She’s who I wanted to get.”

“Have you met her yet?”

“No. Maybe if we win a gold medal, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to tell people I wanna call you Daddy?”

“Literally everyone. I’m thinking of telling the barmaid when I order the next round.”

#football fanfiction

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rqwoodward · 8 years ago

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Awards are always fun, especially when you win them TWICE. I’m not exactly sure where the Sunshine Blogger Award came from or what it means, but it seems like an exceptionally nice award to have with its sunny graphic and cheerful vibes.

The humorous, entertaining, and thought-provoking A.S. Akkalon first nominated me for the award. If you’ve ever wondered which dinosaurs are the best to date, she can help. If you get stuck while writing a fantasy novel, she can help there too, see: The Solution to Fantasy Writer’s Block. Be sure to check out her amazing answers to the questions posed to her as a recipient of the Sunshine Blogger Award too.

Since I’m lazy and like to post once a week (but already had last week), I decided to save my publication of this post until today, the start of a new week. As I was reading through posts I’ve missed over the last week from people I follow, I saw that the lovely K.A. Botello was also a recent recipient of the Sunshine Blogger Award, and that she nominated ME for it too!

Wow! Double win! You guys are the greatest! I’d nominate you back, so you can know the feeling, but that seems like a cheap trick. So for now I’ll blush and smile, and direct everyone to K.A. Botello and A.S. Akkalon’s Twitter feeds so you can follow them, in all their awesomeness, there.

K.A. Botello is a great person to follow on WordPress too if you want to get great updates on her current progress with editing her manuscript, find gems of writing and editing advice, or better get to know her.

The rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award are as follows:

Post the award on your blog.

Thank the person who nominated you. (Thanks again guys!)

Answer the 11 questions they set you.

Pick another 11 bloggers.

Give them 11 questions.

Since I was nominated TWICE, you’re in for a real treat. I’m about to answer TWENTY-TWO questions. Here goes!

Questions from A.S. Akkalon:

1. What do you most wish people thought about you?

That I’m nice is a good generic answer. I’d love for people to think I’m a good writer, excellent baketress (yes, I made that word up), and have cool hair. But seeing as how I’ve only shared my stories with a few people, don’t like to share cupcakes, and hibernate during the winter, thus not seeing many people, I can’t really expect those things. Maybe I should wish that people don’t think I’m stingy (Because apparently, I am. WITH CUPCAKES).

2. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

I tried to think of something hilarious and outlandish all week, but the only thing I could come up with was rinsing my hands with lemonade from a giant Igloo cooler as a summer camp counselor one time. I went back like three times, thinking I was using the water cooler and wondering why my hands kept being sticky.

3. If you were a game show host, what kind of game would it be?

Something nerdy and comedically obnoxious without actually being obnoxious. Trivia and word puzzles are too simple. But throw in some physical challenges (again, nothing obnoxious), and we might have struck gold.

4. Are you more scared of krakens or black death?

Black death. Krakens only kill unnamed minions or maybe the side kick you’ve grown to love. Black death can and WILL, KILL EVERYONE.

5. What do you wish there was more of in books?

Quirkiness. Not in characters, (there are way too many forced ‘quirky’ characters out there). I mean quirkiness in descriptions and content. I always wonder why epic fantasy novels never talk about their adventurers having to pee. Then I wrote such a story, and I understood. But I still enjoy unique tidbits like that where the author thought to put something unusual into their novel. Two examples off the top of my head are Followed by Frost by Charlie N. Holmberg, where pee actually is mentioned (because I brought it up and now am thinking about urine). The main character is literally ‘followed by frost,’ causing snow storms and freezing everything she touches. The book mentions her having to pee in quick bursts otherwise the urine freezes. Another example, but a much lamer one, is a book I read recently describing something as having the consistency of pudding. For some reason, that stuck with me even though I don’t remember what the object being described was (it wasn’t food). I guess I don’t see a lot of pudding comparisons in books, because I found it really unique.

6. Where is your favourite place to read a book?

Outside in the sun on a nice day. Curled up on my couch is a great second option and where I actually do most of my reading. Also, anywhere (sitting, standing, comfortable or not) so long as I’m also eating. Yay, food.

7. What is the most “you” thing ever?

*Sigh,* Robin’s egg blue and the song Rockin’ Robin. As much as I’ve tried to run away from these two things throughout my life, they actually have ended up describing me/things I really like incredibly well. P.S. the R in R.Q. Woodward stands for Robin.

8. Cats eating birds: more proud of the cat or sorry for the bird?

Sorry for the bird. I’ve never actually seen a cat eating a bird, but if it’s anything like my dog chasing and killing screaming bunnies, I want no part of it. Poor bunnies. Stupid dog too, she’s always sick afterward.

9. What did high school English do for your love of writing?

Ha! Nothing. Back then I was more interested in the standard art forms of painting, drawing, and 3D design.

10. If you could have a mythical creature as a pet, what would it be, and what trick would you teach it?

Pegasus. Sure, everyone wants a sparkly unicorn, but think about it, wouldn’t you rather FLY? I’d teach it always catch me if ever I fell.

11. If you could have a superpower, what power would you choose?

One of the best questions ever. Since flying is covered, I’ll go with telekinesis. I’m also cheating a little bit by choosing it because my current work-in-progress includes telekinetic mages as the most powerful kind of mage: they can control the weather, heal people, physically control/manipulate other people’s bodies, and of course, do the hum-drum moving of objects with their minds. THAT is the kind of power I’d have :D

Questions from K.A. Botello:

1. What is one of the books you are currently reading?

Dang it! I’ve been on a writing binge and purposefully haven’t started my next book yet. I love that the question says “one of” too :D

I plan to re-read The Last Girl by Joe Hart next in preparation for the March 28th release of The First City by him. I reviewed the The Last Girl the first time I read it, if you want to check that out, and talked more about Hart’s skillful writing in this post.

2. If you could enter into the world of any fictional book which world would you choose?

I’m going to go with the world of The Paper Magician by Charlie N. Holmberg. Don’t mean to be mentioning her twice in this Q&A series, but I think part of the problem with most fantasy novels is that the magic system is exclusive. You have to get invited to Hogwarts. You have to have the have shifter/wizard/witch/mage DNA to even know about magical communities in most fantasy books. Most other books that take place in lands where magic/dragons/all things fantastical and awesome exist, don’t go into great detail with world building. It’s basically earth back in Robin Hood’s Sherwood Forest or something. Clearly, I’m generalizing. The point is, Holmberg’s world in the Paper Magician series is amazing because learning magic is like going to trade school. As far as I can tell, anyone can do it, and it’s just another profession. AMAZING. I want to live there in modern times (because the books take place around 1910 I think…in another reality where magic is normal. It takes place in London, but I don’t think her world is supposed mirror Earth’s history per se).

3. What is one of your favorite quotes?

:( I’m not big on famous quotes. I love highlighting brilliant or hilarious lines in books I read though. One that makes me smile every time I read it is, “He had spent a lot of time thinking about himself, and had come to the conclusion that he was definitely not self-absorbed.” From Scott Meyer’s Off to Be the Wizard. That and dozens of other quotes from books I’ve read are posted on Goodreads.

4. What weather would you consider ideal?

Sunny with a breeze and NOT humid. 25-115 degrees Fahrenheit is fine, snow on the ground or hot asphalt. Just so long as I can breathe easily without inhaling gnats or mosquitos!

5. What is your favorite fairy tale or classic myth?

Ooo! Tough one! I’m going to have to give a few because I think the source matters (she says to herself, knowing full well she’s cheating). When it comes to Disney renditions, I would have to save Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty. When it comes to original fairy tales, actually the answer is super easy. 100% Hans Christian Andersen’s The Wild Swans. You can, and should, read it for free here. Seriously, it’s the best fairy tale ever. You should read it. Right now.

6. If you could have any kind of animal real, or imaginary for a pet what would you choose?

A raccoon! I’ve always, always wanted one.

7. What is your favorite time of day?

Generally, meal times because I can eat. Otherwise it depends on if I’m inside or outside, what I’m doing, and what the weather’s like. While this sounds like I’m being picky, what I actually mean to say is that I like ALL of the daytime hours and find it hard to choose.

8. If you could change your natural hair color permanently, what color would you pick?

Hmm, well seeing as how my hair is currently blue, purple, and sea foam green, and has been hot pink, blue, and purple frequently throughout my life, I’d say just brown is fine. I look funny blonde. But burgundy is nice too.

9. What is your least favorite food?

Meat. Sorry carnivores. I’m a brussels spouts, broccoli, kale, and asparagus loving vegan who makes a sad face or scrunches her nose at all things meat.

10. Where would you rather vacation: the desert, the mountains, the forest, or by the sea?

All of the above, please! The year isn’t complete unless I’ve seen a bit of each!

11. What is your favorite animated movie?

Again, I have to cheat and still give too many answers. Computer animation: The Lego Movie and Frozen. Stop-motion animation: The Boxtrolls and Kubo and the Two Strings. Older animation: The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast ❤️

Nominees and Questions for them:

I’m nominating:

If Mermaids Wore Suspenders because Aubrey’s amazing and always adds a sprinkle of sunshine to her posts.

S.E. Drummond because she’s my writing buddy and duh.

Green Life Blue Water because P.J. Lazos keeps it real and provides a broad range of posts from eco information to book reviews.

Don Lorah because he boldly posts tons of wonderful stories, and I want to see if he’ll actually answer my questions in a ‘get to know me’ style blog post.

and finally Niels Saunders because I know he still exists despite his recent respite from sharing his authorly awesomeness with the world.

My eleven questions for you guys are as follows:

What’s one of the wackiest dreams you’ve ever had?

Name your favorite book, movie, and tv show, and then tell me which of THOSE is your absolute favorite.

What is the first favorite color you ever remember having and what is your fav color now?

Who is your favorite person in the world?

What’s your favorite smell?

If you had to choose between living as an insect in the Amazon or as a fish in the ocean for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

Coffee, tea, beer, or wine? (multiple choices are acceptable)

How do you like to spend your leisure time?

Do you like to hike, bike, or do other types of outdoor recreational activities? (if this answer is a “duh” type of response because of #8, do not pass go, go directly to jail. Also, tell me anything)

What is one (or maybe two) question(s) you wish I’d asked?

What is the answer to the question you just asked yourself?

Happy answering and sunshine spreading!

To learn more about moi, check out a similar Q&A post I made earlier this year.

Sunshine Blogger Award Awards are always fun, especially when you win them TWICE. I'm not exactly sure where the Sunshine Blogger Award came from or what it means, but it seems like an exceptionally nice award to have with its sunny graphic and cheerful vibes.

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