#i have zero predictions i do NOT have a clue this time go wild i guess!!!

[cerealmonster15]

[prev]

once again the poll results have shocked me, placing the half joke option i put as a reference to my twst sims story progression relationships [and bc i thought it was cute] into the winning slot lol.

contrats to malleus !!! apparently!!!! sims predicts the future....

[finale]

[itsbenedict]

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop 

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch. 

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over. 

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense. 

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it’s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime. 

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though) 

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)

[jeromesxreader16]

Such A Joker (43)

Part 42 Here!!!

~o0o~

Jerome POV:

I open my eyes seeing nothing but cemented walls entrapping me. I run my hands along the towering stockades laughing. "Oh, you are incorrigible, but then again, you always were. Oh, wait. Or was that me? Sometimes I get so confused, I... I can't remember."

I look up at the camera and smile widely. "You didn't have to run away like that. I would never hurt you... Xander. I love you. I just know you'd be a good uncle to my future giggling phycos. Can't wait to see ya! You'll get to meet my doll! She's a sweetie, but be careful... She's one hell of a wild card. Did you think about me? I know that you did." I giggle and crawl up close to the camera giggling. "Oh, I'm gonna squeeze you until you pop!"

Jeremiah POV:

"Oh, I'm gonna squeeze you until you pop!" I shiver as Jerome chuckles evilly on the screen. I pour another glass of scotch and sigh. "Your sweetie. Your doll, huh?" I hum watching him entertain himself.

"Let me tell you a little about her, brother." I huff plopping in my seat. "She's the most breathtaking angel I've ever seen. Psychotic and beautiful. If she knew I was here, boy, she'd get really mad. Haven't been home to please the lady, you know how that is." He giggles making me clench my fist.

Does he know? Does he have the slightest clue I've cured (y/n), she's sane, and in my protection?

"Jer?" Her small voice echo's from the cemented halls. I turn off the monitors just in time as she walks into the office. She wasn't supposed to wake for 4 more hours. She was supposed to stay asleep until the job was done.

I smile seeing her half-lidded eyes, baggy shirt, and messy hair. "Come here, love." (Y/n) smiles grabbing my hand and sitting upon my lap.

"You're drinking?" She asks cuddling into my frame. I sigh looking at my drink. "I am." "Why? Are you stressed?" I brush her hair back kissing her head. "Jerome went to visit my office today. Killed a lot of my employees." She gazes down at me with sad eyes. "It's not your fault, Jer." I nod understanding.

"How was your nap?"

(Y/n) lifts her head and kisses my cheek. "I had a dream about you." "Yeah? Was I nominated engineer of the year?" "No. We got married, had a beautiful boy with red hair. He was extremely smart." My heart skips as a smile grows on my face. "You dreamt of that? With me?" "Is that a shocker?"

I cup her cheek in my hand and smile. "I just never predicted I would be as lucky to have you in my life." She leans up kissing me. "Well, Jeremiah Valeska, I'm here to stay." I chuckle basking at this moment.

"Sir, you have visitors pulling into the property range." (Y/n) huffs looking into my eyes. "You're always so busy." I brush her hair behind her ear smiling. "It looks like your father has come to visit," I say looking over to the screen from the outside camera. She gasps watching as the car pulls up and two men exit.

Jim POV:

I bang on the metal door sighing. "Have you heard from her anymore?" Harvey asks next to me. "She called telling me she was with her boyfriend." "And she's safe." I shrug fighting the thoughts of danger in my head. "She said she was." Harvey shrugs smiling. "Alright Partner. I just know she's like you. Reckless."

The door opens and a young blond stands to look at us. I flash my badge, "James Gordon here to see Xander Wilde."

~

She leads us down many long hallways full cemented. "So this whole joint's underground?" "Mr. Wilde values his privacy." "How long has he lived here?" "He finished construction six years ago."

She walks up to a door inserting a code. "Echo. 496."

"Welcome, Ms. Ecco." A robotic voice sounds out opening the door. "He'll see you now."

Harvey and I walk in seeing a man with his back turned. "Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Wilde." "I expected you might come, Captain." He turns around and my blood runs cold as the face of insanity looks into my eyes.

Harvey and I pull our guns out aiming it at Jerome.

"My God. There's two of them." Harvey gasps looking over the Valeska brother.

"Dad! Stop!" I look behind me and see my daughter. "(Y/n). What are you doing here? You told me you were with your-" My eyes avert from (y/n) and land on Xander. "Boyfriend."

Xander lets his lips slip into a tiny smile as he nervously looks at the gun. "May I put my hands down now, gentlemen?" I look over at (Y/n) confused. "Are you kidding me? Put your gun down!"

Harvey and I lower our guns as I stare at my daughter as she walks over and makes sure Xander is okay. "Apologies, Mr. Wilde.

You took us by surprise." He nods and smiles at my daughter. "That's understandable. It's happened before."

"You can call me Jeremiah. That's the name my mother gave me. You solved her murder, Captain Gordon. I owe you a debt of gratitude for that and for putting Jerome in Arkham, where he belongs." (Y/n) holds his hand in comfort as he explains. She's not fazed by him talking about what Jerome did. Has she finally let go and found security?

"He never mentioned you before."

"No, I suppose he wouldn't have. From the letters my mother sent me, he never spoke of me after I left."

"Left where?"

"The circus. They hid me away to protect me from him. See, we were always different, Jerome and I. From an early age, I showed a proficiency for maths and design, and Jerome, mainly the mutilation of alley cats. On my tenth birthday, he held a cake knife to my throat. A few weeks later, he lit my bed on fire. It was like living in a nightmare. I'm grateful he was never able to hurt (y/n). My mother knew eventually one day he would succeed, so one night, my uncle came to my room while Jerome slept, and told me that he was taking me away. I had no idea where, but I kissed my mother good-bye, told her I loved her, and I never saw her again."

"He took you to St. Ignatius."

"Got a new name, a new life. And I was finally able to live without fear. But in my heart, I knew one day Jerome would come for me."

"Well, that day is today, pops," Harvey said walking closer.

"What do you mean, Harv?" (Y/n) asks looping her arm with Jerimiah.

I stand closer, explaining. "We have reason to believe Jerome knows where you are. (Y/n), he's already been by your apartment, and now with you here you're in even more danger. We need to move you both to a safe location until we can apprehend him."

Jeremiah shakes his head holding my daughter close. "That won't be necessary, gentlemen. I've spent the bulk of my life preparing for this eventuality. I am the safest here in my home. I can keep (y/n) safer than any secretive location in Gotham." (Y/n) nods looking at us. "He's right, dad. I feel safer here with Jeremiah than the GCPD."

"Not anymore. Jerome knows the name of your proxy. He got it from your boss just before he executed him."

"I heard about Jerome visiting Allen Hayes. It's tragic, but the proxy's name I gave to Allen was a fake."

(Y/n) POV:

As Jeremiah speaks his arm tightens around me causing me to look up at him confused. Why is he so tense?

"You're lying." It hits me as my father says it. I remove myself from his side looking up at him. "I beg your pardon?" I narrow my eyes at him crossing my arms. A liar knows a liar when they see one.

"Jer? What are you hiding?" As his eyes meet mine I see the panic living in them. What has he done? "Jeremiah. Honey, is there something you want to tell me?" He reaches out for me with a shaky hand. "N-no, love. Your father is just intimidating." I hum patting his chest.

Jim and Harvey walk around the small office scanning over the many things scattered over the desk.

"(Y/n). Come here, please." I walk over to my dad sitting on the desk facing away from Jerimiah. "Yeah?" "Why the hell didn't you tell me before?" I roll my eyes sighing, "He's fine. Lord, he can't even hurt a fly." "Besides the point, overprotective father, we get it! Now, let's dig, anything weird about him? Something he could be hiding?" I look back over to Jeremiah as he paces his office fixing his glasses each time they fall to the bridge of his nose.

"He said he's intimidated by you."

"And you believe that?" I scoff lowering my voice. "Of course not."

"Yeah, there's something about this guy that's fishy."

"What about the security cameras outside." "What about them, dad?" "They were turned on, (y/n)." I look over my should looking at the bank screens of the monitors.

"Jeremiah, how come the monitors are off if the cameras are recording?" My dad asks walking closer to Jeremiah as Harvey walks near the monitors.

"I don't see why that's any of your concern, Mr. Gordon. Now, if you excuse me, I'm a very busy man." Jeremiah says stuffing his hands in his pockets. Harvey touches buttons on the monitors trying to find the right on.

"Please don't touch that."

I stand and walk over hitting the small red button causing the TVs to light up with life. "That's very sensitive equipment."

The screens clear and as the pixels match, I cover my mouth locking my eyes onto the screen. Jerome stands in a small room performing yoga. He looks up at the camera and waves causing me to shutter. I turn to Jerimiah with tears brimming my eyes.

"Oh, yeah. I'd say that's pretty damn sensitive." Harvey says watching Jerome.

I storm the short distance to Jeremiah glaring at him. "Why would you do this?" I sneer at him. He closes his eyes with his head leaning towards the floor. "(y/n). I wanted you safe." "And you think by bringing him closer to me was going to keep me safe?"

Jerome's giggle causes me to focus on him. "You know, brother, it has been a while since I've seen my sweets. Say, you wouldn't be keeping her from me, would ya?" My father glares at the screen shaking his head.

"You need to take us to your brother."

"I can't do that."

"What if he's nuttier than the other one?" "Harvey!" "I'm nothing like Jerome."

"You want me to put you in a cell next to his with zero visitation? Because that is where this is heading!" "Dad, stop! Calm down!" I say grabbing my hair in stress.

"And then what, Captain Gordon? You couldn't hold him. Arkham couldn't. I can. And I will make sure Jerome never escapes again. I am making sure he never hurts (y/n) again!"

"Jeremiah, I am thankful for that, but that's not going to work. Jerome comes with us, and if you want to make this easier on yourself, I suggest you stay the hell out of the way." I push myself between my father and Jerimiah. "I get this is a big deal, but this isn't the way to-"

"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The loonies are outside."

Harvey points at the monitors showing Scarcrow, Jervis, and Ecco following blindly.

Jeremiah rushes to the screens panicking. "No. No. How'd they find me?"

"They must have followed Jerome."

The lights shut off leaving us in a blood-red hue from the emergency lights. Jeremiah grabs my hand pulling me close to his side.

"We need to move, now. Is there another way out of here?" "Yes, but we-" "You can't leave, Ecco!" I cry in a panic. "The loonies will use her against us, (y/n)!" I shake my head removing myself from Jerimiah's hold. "No. She's my friend and has done so much for me. I'm not letting her die." My father nods placing a hand on my shoulder.

"She's devoted her life to helping Jerimiah. She's too important, dad." He nods looking at Jeremiah and I. "We get you two out first,

then we can come back for her. Deal?" I nod pulling Jeremiah out into the halls.

"As a child, I was obsessed with labyrinths, so I designed my house like one." My dad and Harvey follow close behind. "You mean this place is a maze?" Jeremiah nods leading the way.

"Easy enough to get in; (y/n) and I are the only ones who know the way out. Stay close to me."

We pass another Conor as the maze twists. "The maze is built on a hundred acres. There are 73 dead ends. I once invited the top

maze designers in the country to try to solve it... one did. It took him three days." "Then how did I do it in an hour?" I giggle jogging ahead.

As I round a wall I see Ecco walking towards me. "Ecco! You're alright!" She grabs my neck and slams me against the wall. "Ec- Stop!" I gasp as she clenches my airway shut.

I kneed her in the stomach pushing her away. "Alright. I can play." She lunges at me causing me to doge and swipe her legs knocking her to the ground. She stands up taking me down to the ground.

"Ecco. What are you doing?" Jeremiah rushes as he sees me on the ground.

"Hey, hey, hey, she's hypnotized."

Ecco charges towards him and knocks Jerimiah down. "E-Ecco, it's me. It's me. Ow!" I stand up punching her in the face and knocking her down once more. Jeremiah looks at me surprised. "I didn't know you could do that, love." I laugh breathlessly turning to him quickly as Ecco fights off my dad and Harvey.

I help Jeremiah up but am pushed into the wall as Ecco grabs him and walks in down the hall away from us. "Gordon! Help!"

"Dad!" I yell looking after them. "Come on."

Jeremiah POV:

"Ecco, please. Where are you taking me? (Y/n) will be alone!"

"I'm taking you to Jerome." He speaks in a monotone voice gripping my arms. "No. He'll do horrible things to me. Ecco..."

"Stop!" Detective Bullock yells charging Ecco. Harvey falls and out of nowhere (Y/n) comes from behind the wall pushing Ecco and knocking her out.

I have to say... It was hot!

"Come on!" I grab (y/n) hand and run towards the exit fearful of the end. "Jeremiah, what are you going to do?" He shakes his head breathing heavily. "I don't care. I just want to get you to-"

"Hello, brother." Jerome pops out in front of Jeremiah halting our tracks. Jeremiah blocks my frame holding my wrist tightly. I peer at Jerome with wide eyes. His eyes meet mine and he smirks growing a giggle. "There you are, dollface. I've been searching for you too. Looks like I killed two birds with one stone, huh?" "Jerome I-"

Jerome yanks my arm bringing me close to him. He holds my waist and smiles down at me. "I've missed you." He leans down planting a passionate kiss upon my lips before throwing me behind him. "Whoa! More of that later!" He chuckles before turning back to his brother who is watching my every move with growing worry and rage.

"So, how ya been? Oh, you look great! To think I used to be the handsome one, right? I see you've been taking care of my doll here... Not cool bro." Jerome glares at Jeremiah.

Jeremiah shutters looking down. "How'd you find your way through the maze?"

"Oh, bro, we might not look the same anymore, but we still think the same. Exhibit A!" Jerome gestures to me cackling. "Plus, you used to draw those stupid things all the time as a kid. I paid attention to."

Jerome throws his head back sighing. "I've been waiting for this moment for 15 years. Ever since you ran away in the middle of the night, like a coward."

"You're insane." Jeremiah states.

"And I tried telling Mom, but she didn't want to listen to me. You blame me for everything that's gone wrong in your life. But the truth is, Jerome, you were born bad."

Jerome turns to me smirking. "Why the long face, love? Don't worry our little ones won't be as he so rudely says born bad." He pinches my cheek gazing at me with love. My stomach churns as I fight all the past urges to let go of my responsibilities and be with him again, but I couldn't do that the Jer.

Could I?

"So that's why you made her think that I tried to kill you?"

I look over Jerome's shoulder watching as Jeremiah grew more nervous.

He wouldn't have lied about that, right? His own brother?

"What was it again? What was it? I put a blade to your throat. No, no, no, no, no. I tried to... light you on fire!"

"We both know you wanted to!" "Yeah, that was a funny story, wasn't it?" Jerome sneers at his brother. I step out glaring at Jeremiah. "So you did lie to me. You lied about everything." "N-no, (y/n). Jerome did! He's keeping you locked under his belt! He made you think you were crazy for seeing me! Can't you see he doesn't love you as much as I do? I'm trying to protect you!" He cries out reaching for me, but I pull away shaking my head.

"Maybe it didn't happen exactly like that, but... but I didn't have a choice, and I was right. You killed our mother."

"She did deserve it though. Didn't she, (y/n)? You saw how horrible she was. After that whore hid you away, she gave up on me. Poisoned by your stories. You turned everyone I ever loved it against me. Living proof right here!" Jerom points to me.

I glare at Jeremiah and stand in front of him. "(Y/n)-" I slap him across the face making Jerome laugh and hold me back. "You used me! You only wanted me so you could get back at Jerome! How could you play with my feelings like this? Make me feel like I was crazy? Like I was alone?"

"Alright, firecracker, cool it down! We can talk about punishments later." He pushed me behind him facing Jeremiah again. "Yeah, I guess it's like what they say. We all could go insane with just one bad day. I guess with you, it's more like one bad spray. You'll see."

"What are you gonna do to me, Jerome?"

"Come on. I'm gonna kill you. Of course. But, first, I'm gonna drive you mad. But don't worry, you won't be alone. All of Gotham will be joining you, too. I'll be keeping (y/n) safe, don't worry."

"No, Jerome, Please, let her go and-"

"Must go! Must go! They're after me and the Scarecrow. Sprint with us Ms. Gordon!" Jervis rushes past us grabbing me and pulling me down the hall with them.

"(Y/n)! No!"

As we all jump into a car I can't help but release my pent up laughter. I look over, seeing the other two watch me confused. "Sorry gentlemen. I've had a sane few months. Have to get back into the swing of this!" I push all my emotions of pain and anger away as Jerome sprints towards us.

"Ah, what a night, huh?" He giggles holding me. "What do you say, doll? How about we make this night unforgettable?" I smile at his crazed eyes feeling the light shine within me.

How can I love two men who cause me to act like two separate people?

"I've missed you, Jerome." He cups my cheeks as we drive like madmen down the road. "I sure hope so, (y/n), because you're not leaving me until my end." I lean in sealing the deal with a kiss. "Until the end, Jerome."

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 48.37 - Grand Final, Edinburgh vs Teddy Hall

Nine months. Eighteen hours of televised quizzing. More than two thousand two hundred increasingly complicated questions, like Russian dolls on a Mobius strip. Twenty-eight teams. Only two remain. Those are some statistics, but what of the people. These numbers tell part of the story, but they omit the crucial humanity that make this show unlike any other; the high fives and the fist-bumps, the hearts in the mouths and on the sleeves, the hopes and dreams that bloomed and ballooned, the lampooned and the festooned (a bit of a tacky end to the sentence, I know, but I was on a roll. You can count yourself lucky I didn’t try and get marooned in there, too). 

For the first time in thirty-five years, Scotland has an institution in the Grand Final. Edinburgh, having fallen to the Champions Elect at the semi final stage in each of the past two series, finally made it one step further by beating Durham, who had earlier bested them in the quarter finals. They had previously swept aside Sidney Sussex in their opening match, before beating UCL on the final starter of their second round match, with captain Max Fitz-James sealing the victory.

It was Fitz-James who was the key to Edinburgh’s chances going in, with his twenty-six starters twelve clear of their next best buzzer, local lad Robbie Campbell Hewson, although RCH came up with some huge answers at vital times in their semi final. Fitz-James however, also leads the team, and the tournament (and is possibly the all time leader) in Negs, with ten incorrect interruptions to his name. He was also the go-to-guy for guesses, with a further fifteen non-penalized buzzes in his fingers. If he could get the balance right between reckless abandon and the pulling of rabbits from hats then his side might well have a chance. And they would go in knowing that caution would not serve them well given the man in the opposite captain’s chair.

Freddy Leo, described by the Times this week as "having drawn comparisons to Cristiano Ronaldo” (which, while perhaps not unlike analogies I myself may have drawn, coming from a national media which only ever covers the final, smacks of the kind of laziness eschewed by someone describing the Marvel Cinematic Universe as being ‘somewhat of a cultural juggernaut’ only in the leadup to the release of Avengers: Endgame), has amassed forty-one starters in one fewer game than Fitz-James, so the Frenchman will have gone in one hundred percent ready to flex those buzzer fingers at even the merest whiff of a guess, being fully aware that if he hesitated just the slightest moment, his German counterpart would be there to steal the points. Leo had already seen off this series’ other Big Bee (because they buzz so much, get it?) in his own semi-final, with Teddy Hall beating Darwin College despite Jason Golfinos’ best efforts and eight starter questions. He’s also shown that he has steel and nerve, with a comeback from a hundred points down against Bristol University (Bristanbul, maybe, for football fans) perhaps the grittiest performance in recent years. 

But even he could not be a team by himself, with Agastya Pesharody and Marcelline Bresson popping up at important moments in their semi final victory. Completing their quartet was Lizzie Fry, and were they to win they would become only the second side in the Paxman Era (beginning in 1995) to do so having been less than 75% male.

Anyway, let’s not bother with the rules, here’s your first starter for ten.

As predicted, it was Fitz-James who was first out of the blocks, but not unsurprisingly, his speculative buzz of Maypole Dancing (not Maple dancing, as I’d originally thought he’d said) put Edinburgh in the not-unfamiliar territory of negative points. Fry, who would double her total for the series with three in the final (truly a player for the big occasion, rather like Cristiano Ronaldo in that sense) opened her account with Morris Dancing. One bonus on paperclips followed, with Leo dismissing the Netherlands as the country who had worn such items in their lapels because he knows that if they had, then the Dutch Bresson would have said so already. A sign of a team that trusts and is in sync with one another.

Leo claims his forty-second decimal of the series on the next starter, with his arm-cocked buzzer-stab technique deployed with trademark verve. Bonuses on the ever-relevant subject of ‘Persistent Courtship in the Nineteenth Century (specifically in novels)’ serve them better than paperclips, although Leo is perhaps fortunate to get the points on the first of these, forgetting to add the author of Far From the Madding Crowd to his answer (though to be honest requiring both seems pretty needless, given that the two pieces of information would never come uncoupled in the mind of a University Challenge finalist. They would know both or neither in this context). The third he pulls from the ether after a period of intense concentration, startling even his teammates with his sudden remembrance of David Copperfield’s Peggotty. Teddy Hall are forty-five points clear.

Neither side manages to guess what is essentially a ‘guess a number’ question, before Malusa bursts into life and fires Edinburgh back above zero. Paxman delights in delivering the bonus description in the manner of a stand-up comedian, ‘questions on the periodic table *pause for effect* in Chinese’. Cue laughter. This doesn’t trouble the Scottish quartet, who rattle through the hat-trick with little more than a ‘hmm, is it bromine or iodine? Its probably bromine’ (reader, it was bromine).

Wearing a burgundy jacket (and hailing from Burgundy, France, but not, presumably, having drunk any burgundy wine beforehand), Fitz-James gets his evening going at the third attempt (having also guessed on the ‘guess a number question’) with the Picture starter, a Shakespearean Venn diagram. He would also take the second Picture starter (little bit of foreshadowing for you there). With two of the bonuses, Edinburgh are level. Deuce.

A second starter of the night goes to Leo, and when Fry picks up another Fitz-James fumble it looks as if the game might be starting to get away from Edinburgh. But Pesharody is unlucky in forgetting that his answer on the next starter required two parts, and isn’t allowed the time to grasp for the second when he realises. Campbell Hewson, Edinburgh’s vulture, takes his correct morsel and completes it. Alpha and Omega. Romping through another hat-trick, this time on Iron Maiden, put the Scots firmly back on track. 

The music questions came in three parts, with four sets of three tunes relating to the colours of the horizontal bands on national flags (if you’re not with me we’re about halfway round the loop of that Russian Doll mobius I was on about earlier, and yes, I have no idea what I’m trying to infer by that phrase either). No one gets the starter, for which, as well as containing three difficult clues, the answer was Armenia (the kind of question that makes a Queen of she who makes it), but Edinburgh manage to decipher Estonia and take the lead for the first time in the contest. 

Now it is Teddy Hall who seem lost, and Edinburgh who have all the luck, Fitz-James throwing away the correct Aggripina with misplaced resignation and the assertion that he is wrong. Malusa, who had only five starters to his name before the final, then takes his second of the night, and a full set on Elizabeth Catlett completes a hat-trick of hat-tricks on the bonuses. All of these trebles meant that they had opened up a fifty point lead. 

At this stage of the game most teams would have been beaten by such a margin, but Teddy had come back from twice that already in this competition, and the next hat-trick is completed by Fry as she steals a third starter from under Fitz-James’ over-eager nose. 

Pesharody makes up for his earlier mistake (like Cristiano Ronaldo when he scored a hat-trick (oh look, another hat-trick) in the second leg of Juventus’ Round of 16 match in this year’s Champion’s League versus Atletico Madrid, having scored what looked suspiciously like an own goal (although it was credited to Diego Godin) in the 2-0 reverse of the first leg) with yet another pick-up from an ill-considered Fitz-James guess. It almost looks as though his (Fitz-James’) second picture starter of the night won’t matter, as first Leo, and then Bresson (with the speed and conviction of five-time ballon d’or winner Cristiano Ronaldo) buzz in decisively to swing the lead back down to Oxford with only seconds remaining by the slimmest of margins. 

There would only be time for one more starter. Nine months. Eighteen and a half hours of televised quizzing. More than two thousand two hundred increasingly complicated questions. Only time for one more...

Answer as soon as your name is called. What two digit number...

If Fitz-James had the gumption he could have gone for a one in ninety (note: ‘How many two digit numbers are there? would be a good starter question) wild guess, but he doesn’t. Wise.

...is equivalent to the Roman numerals that form the first three letters of the city that was the birthplace of...

This is such a classic University Challenge question that its almost like they planned for it to be the deciding question in the final. 

...William Gladstone...

No one has the faintest.

...Beryl Bainbridge...

Some cogs start to whirr.

...And Wayne Rooney...

By now everyone knows it, but they’re frantically trying to convert LIV into a two digit number. Leo launches downwards, but Campbell Hewson has beaten him to it. Elbow perpendicular to the desk, with his hand curled and a few inches from his face as if he wants to lapse into the classical philosopher pose but knows it would be too meme-able, he frowns, but does not hesitate.

Fifty-four. 

Fifty-four is correct.

They can be pretty sure they’ve won it now, but they add two more bonuses before the gong sounds to confirm them as University Challenge champions. 

Final Score: Edinburgh 155 - 140 St Edmund Hall, Oxford

Max Fitz-James, Marco Malusa, Matt Booth, Robbie Campbell Hewson. The first non-Oxbridge institution to claim the trophy since 2013. The first Scottish winners of University Challenge since 1983. Congratulations, gents. You sent Proud Edmund’s army homeward, to think again. 

What a match, and what a series it has been. Leo and Teddy Hall have to be immensely proud of their achievements, and were unfortunate that they came up against an Edinburgh side who had the quiz of their lives. 

Novelist Sebastian Faulks came on to present Edinburgh with the trophy, and he echoed the sentiments of many viewers when he said he found the questions staggeringly difficult. Comedian Ed Gamble recently said that he’s watched almost every episode of Only Connect and never got a question right. To some, that might seem nonsensical, being as an observer so far away from the level of the players, but people watch football knowing full well that they would be unable to tonk one in from thirty yards (yes, like Cristiano Ronaldo), and the joy of University Challenge, like all sport, comes from the thrill of the competition, and from watching people who are exemplary at something being exemplary at it. 

Until next time, goodbye.

[andydaly]

Game of Thrones Trailer Recap For Real This Time

Okay!  So this is an actual for real no screwing around trailer this time.  The other little things that came out, the thing where the feather froze and then the thing where Arya looked up at the dragon, those were just teasers but this one here is a proper trailer and I will now endeavor to recap the shit out of it.  For reasons that continue to elude me, I am recapping Game of Thrones teasers, trailers and ultimately every episode of the final season.  It’s been a wild ride so far!  To recap my recaps, let me fill you in on my two very bold and correct predictions about the final season of Game of Thrones:

1. I predicted that all of humanity will be wiped out within the first five minutes of the first episode of the season and the rest of the show will follow the white walkers as they build a civilization on whatever planet this show takes place on (Earth?).

2.  I predicted that Arya is going to kill a dragon and then become a dragon. 

I’m happy to say that nothing I have seen in this new trailer challenged those predictions in any meaningful way.  Yes, this trailer features plenty of alive people doing things but all these  scenes can easily happen in the first five minutes of the first episode.  I concede that that will be a very frantic and haphazard five minutes of television, but all in all, I still think I’m right because nothing beats that zombie dragon. Period.  That zombie dragon is just going to kill everyone very very quickly.  And okay, maybe it’s more like ten minutes.  Are we really going to argue over five minutes?  It’s beneath both of us. 

That concludes the recap of my recaps.  Now onto… the recap! 

First off, this trailer is most notable for what it DOESN’T tell us about the new season, namely the year in which these new episodes will air.  So far, every teaser and trailer has simply said that the new season premieres April 14.  Many fans have speculated, probably correctly, that this is April 14, 2019 or, in other words, six weeks from now.  That is still the best guess but it’s very interesting that even in this longer look at the new season the year isn’t specified.  What exactly are they up to?  Seems like weird marketing to keep us guessing on the year.  But anyway…

The trailer opens with a young person running fearfully through a castle.  There’s a cutaway to an old dude walking in a graveyard-looking place and then another cutaway to that guy Varis looking bored at a meeting.  Meanwhile Arya is speaking poetically about death and then holds something up.  We can’t tell what it is but it’s probably a pinecone tied to a stick.  Scratch that, it’s definitely a pinecone tied to a stick.  Weirdly, she says that she looks forward to seeing the pinecone WHILE literally looking at the pinecone.  Is she losing her mind?  Or just so distracted by her desire to kill and become a dragon that she can’t think straight?  There’s no time to think too much about that question because now it’s time to look at ships! 

We cut to the deck of a ship where there’s a whole bunch of soldiers standing there ready to do something.  I have zero naval experience so take me with a grain of salt but in my opinion, there are too many soldiers on that boat.  It looks uncomfortable.  But again, no time to dwell on it.  This trailer moves fast!

We cut to a dungeony type place where three bearded guys are walking with a flaming sword.  I vaguely remember a flaming sword from last season.  What was the deal with that?  And who are these guys?  I don’t remember.  Weren’t they there when the dragon got shot down?  Is one of them the guy who’s been brought back to life multiple times?  Is it okay that I’m going to be recapping the new season of Game of Thrones and I can’t remember this kind of thing?  

Yeah, it’s probably fine.  I’ll bet when these dudes pop back up for the first time, there’ll be some context clues to help me out, right?  Plus my wife read the books and watched the first couple of seasons (which I didn’t) so she usually has a better idea of what’s going on.  I’ll ask her.  It’ll be fine.  You’re in good hands!

Then we see the handicapped boy, I want to say Bram?  He’s there with Samwell Tarly (I know that guy’s name.  See?  Good hands).  I’ll be honest, I kind of lost the thread on Bram a while ago.  I am unclear on his superpowers or how they’re going to help anyone.  He can see through a crow’s eyes?  Don’t get me wrong, I can’t do that and I would be psyched if I could, but mostly that whole guy just kind of confuses me and I’m a little worried that Samwell is wasting his time hanging out with him.  But I’m not about to tell Samwell Tarly what to do because that guy doesn’t care what anybody thinks about anything.  He does whatever.  The fuck.  He wants.  Every time.  Check the record.  Total rebel.

Next up, Cersei is standing next to an old guy.  She seems happy and good for her.  That poor lady has been through a lot.  

Then it’s Winterfell, spears, dragons and more dragons.  If your big hope going into this season was ‘more dragons!’, Game of Thrones has heard you!  If you would have preferred fewer dragons or you felt the amount of dragon content in previous seasons was just right, Game of Thrones has not heard you.  You were too quiet.  This looks like a very very dragony TV show.  

We see some getting ready for battle, some fighting, some kissing.  Meanwhile John Stark says some pretty obvious things about zombies.  Oh do they not tire?  Yeah I kind of guessed that when I noticed that they were DEAD ALREADY.  C’mon John!

Then it’s a bunch more dragon stuff and a whole lot of shots of people reacting to things we’re not seeing, which is hopefully just a trailer thing and not how it’s going to go in the actual show. I’ll be pissed if the actual show does what this trailer does and just cuts between people being upset about stuff and they never show you why.  I’m sure it won’t be like that.  Probably just a trailer thing, right?

We finally get a glimpse of Tyrion, who still has that big scar on his face.  If I were Peter Dinklage, I would have sidled up to the producers at lunch one day and said “hey guys, since there’s all kinds of magic and stuff in this world, maybe some warlock or whatever could heal the scar on Tyrion’s face and good ol’ Pete Dinklage could spend 45 minutes less in the make-up chair every morning.  Whaddaya say?”  And then if the producers said no, I’d play it off like a joke and spend the next few days making clear how lucky I felt to have the job.  That’s what I would do, but maybe Dinklage didn’t think of it because that scar is definitely still there.

The trailer ends with a bunch of badasses ready to throw down and then a, looks like a horse? steps into the frame.  I guess that’s the horse the main white walker guy rides.  Right?  Doesn’t he ride like a dead skeleton horse?  That’s probably what that was.  I’m pretty sure what happens is that main white walker guy rides up on his dead horse for the big battle at Winterfell and there’s a moment when it looks like there is about to be an epic sword battle and then he just points up in the sky and the zombie dragon swoops down and everyone dies.  I’m glad they didn’t show all that in the trailer but also they didn’t have to because I can see it very very clearly, like Bram seeing through the eyes of a crow.

If HBO releases more trailers. check back here to find out what you saw.  Otherwise I will see you either six weeks from now or else a year and six weeks from now or two years and six weeks or whenever they cough up this new season.  Okay bye!   

Here it is:

https://ew.com/tv/2019/03/06/george-rr-martin-game-of-thrones-season-8-interview/

[thatgirlonstage]

Can we get a prompt for Klance of Shiro coming back and like not realizing Keith and Lance are together. He sees them together all the time but just thinks they became really good friends until it becomes obvious they are more. Thanks!

Aaaand once again, I’m so sorry for the six months delay and I hope you’re still following me and that you see this and you like it.

This... went a little bit differently than I expected or intended it to? It’s perhaps a bit odd stylistically, but it was an interesting experiment

Zero

They reunited in the heat of battle, so there was no time to notice anything, really, except the laser blasts coming at them from all sides. It was almost ridiculous, how the reunion happened: one moment, Shiro was back to back with Matt, blasting their way through an impossibly thick mob of soldiers, then there was an explosion, and the next thing he knew Matt had doubled into two people, except one of them was wearing white armor edged in green. The second Matt was saying something, just audible over the sound of battle.

“Matthew Holt, I hope you are ready to be grounded for the rest of your life, because Mom isn’t going to let either of us step outside ever again.” Without turning to face him, the second Matt elbowed Shiro in the ribs. “And you,” she said. “If you don’t stop disappearing, poor Keith is going to have an aneurysm.” It was only when he twisted to shoot down a Galra soldier lunging at the double Matts that he caught sight of tears glistening in Pidge’s eyes, and the fierce smile on her face. When he turned back, he saw the others too: Hunk on the edges, with his back to the wall, mowing down as many as he could with his cannon. Lance had somehow scrambled up a straight ladder against the wall and was hanging there by his legs, taking the Galra out sniper-style. Keith, predictably, was in the thick of it, a red whirl of fury, his sword hacking apart enemies left and right. When he cut straight through three drones with one swing, Shiro heard Lance shout from above.

“Nice going, samurai!” he called, the proud grin audible in his voice. Almost without looking, he shot a Galra barreling for Keith straight through the head.

“Quick eye, sharpshooter!” Keith called back.

Then he lost sight of them in the fury of the battle. After it was done, none of the team had eyes or ears for anything but him and Matt, piling on him in a giant hug until Shiro thought they might never let go, tears streaming freely down their faces. So there really wasn’t anything that should have tipped him off, per se – he just assumed the team as a whole had grown tighter knit in his absence as they continued to work together.

One

His first real clue should have been breakfast. He and Keith had talked almost all night, Keith’s eyes drinking Shiro in as if he were afraid he might disappear again if he so much as blinked. Ultimately, the exhaustion of the battle had overpowered Keith and he slipped into sleep on the couch. Shiro covered him with a blanket and camped out on the couch opposite. His room hadn’t been touched, was sitting waiting for him, but he had long since grown used to sleeping wherever there was space, first in the gladiator prisons, and then again amongst the rebels with Matt. He knew Keith would appreciate the reassurance of being able to see him first thing when he woke up.

He still slept lightly, and slept short nights, but Keith was gone when he woke up anyway. He made his way to the kitchen, the castle halls still nostalgically familiar even after months away. Keith was sitting at the table stirring something that smelled so much like coffee Shiro had his worst rush of homesickness since boarding the flight to Kerberos. Keith’s eyes were half lidded and he still looked half asleep. Lance was bustling around the kitchen, frying something pink and brown and sweet-smelling. He had an awful case of bedhead and was wearing the blue lion slippers and bathrobe he’d dug up somehow – Shiro still had no idea where he’d found them. He was yawning frequently, but he greeted Shiro with an enthusiastic smile and announced breakfast would be served momentarily.

He attributed Lance and Keith’s amiability to more time spent as friends and, perhaps egocentrically, to his own return – neither of them would want to have a row and spoil their reunion with Shiro. It somehow didn’t occur to him to wonder why Keith would be sitting in the kitchen alone with Lance before Shiro was even awake, or why I-need-my-beauty-sleep Lance was up so early at all. It certainly didn’t occur to him that it might have something to do with the fact that Keith had never gone to bed the night before.

They both sat across from him, and next to each other. Looking back on it, they were probably holding hands under the table. Shiro’s only excuse was exhaustion and, well, the two had still been goading each other at every other opportunity when he left, if not at every single moment anymore. They were getting better, but it was a big leap from that to what had grown between them.

Two

The training, he had no real excuse for. He walked in on them practicing hand-to-hand and stood quietly in the corner, pleased and honestly astonished at how well they were working together. Keith was demonstrating to Lance how to get out of a chokehold and Lance was nodding and following instructions just as if it were Shiro. No, he corrected himself, better than he ever did when Shiro was leading the team. There was an air of calm confidence around Lance now. Oh, he still flirted mercilessly and threw barbs at Keith – which Keith took with a smile that dared him on and returned barbs of his own – and he was still easily the loudest and most enthusiastic of any of them. But he wasn’t wildly bombastic anymore. His energy didn’t splay out in uncontrolled and misdirected bursts. He’d found some kind of center, some kind of anchor that Shiro couldn’t put his finger on. Keith had grown calmer as well. Even as Lance repeatedly failed to understand the particular way Keith wanted him to shift his weight, Shiro could watch him putting his frustration aside, searching for new ways to explain or demonstrate it.

Lance shifted his weight too much, overbalanced, and sent them both tumbling to the floor, Keith landing on top of him. They both lay there groaning for a second until it turned into bubbling laughter. Shiro saw Lance whisper something in Keith’s ear, and suddenly Keith bounded to his feet, whirling.

“Shiro!” he yelped, and then cleared his throat. “Hey, Shiro, didn’t see you there.” Lance guffawed from the floor, folding his arms behind his head.

“Hey Shiro,” he called. There was an odd suggestiveness to the tone. Shiro frowned.

“I just came in to see how training was going and make sure you two weren’t actually trying to kill each other,” he said. Keith went beet red as Lance burst into another round of sniggering chuckles.

“Nope, we’re all still friends here,” he called, winking. Shiro didn’t know what to think about the wink, but he shrugged it off and went on with his day anyway.

Three

In the end, it took being bludgeoned over the head with it for him to notice. He wandered into the hall late at night, headed to the kitchen for a glass of water, and caught Keith reaching to open the door to Lance’s room.

“Keith?” he asked. “Isn’t that Lance’s room?” Keith froze like a deer in headlights. Shiro almost heard his neck creaking when he turned his head to look at him. His eyes were wide and wild with an odd sort of terror, but he was saved the necessity of answering by the door flying open to reveal Lance in his PJs.

“It is indeed,” Lance said, a wicked grin on his face. “You ready for bed, babe?” Keith mouthed soundlessly at him. Even then, Shiro thought Lance was just joking.

“What are you two actually up to?” he asked, rolling his eyes. If Lance and Keith were scheming something together, he wasn’t sure the castle would survive it. Only a truly outrageous cause could unite them. Lance and Keith glanced at each other, and Lance burst out laughing. Keith was red to his ears.

“Keith, please, we’ve got to tell him,” Lance said, struggling for breath through tears of mirth. “I’m going to choke to death laughing if he gets any more oblivious.” Keith nodded stiffly.

“Okay, yes, fine, tell him,” he muttered. Shiro frowned, glancing between them.

“Tell me what?” he asked. Lance pursed his lips, and then grabbed Keith around the waist and kissed him on the mouth.

Shiro flinched back, waiting for Keith to punch Lance so hard he would break his nose, but instead Keith melted into the kiss. With one embarrassed side-eye flicker at Shiro and a little shrug that seemed to say “What can I tell you?” his eyes slid closed. He cupped Lance’s jaw and pulled him closer, pressing his lips to the corner of Lance’s mouth. When they broke apart, Shiro’s jaw was on the floor. Lance, also flushed now, shrugged.

“Tell you that,” he said, a note of laughing embarrassment in his voice. “We were going to let you figure it out for yourself, but God, Shiro, you are majorly oblivious.”

There was no answer to that, Shiro realized, except to agree.

[Please do not send me prompts at the moment, I am working through old ones]

[secondsofhappiness]

So Megan how do you predict this is all going to go down? What is your dream scenario? How far is he gonna fall? Will he lose all his money? Be charged with a murder he didn't commit? Lose his baby? 🤷‍♀️ So many options but what do you think?? I need an epic post Megan! 🙏

Hahaha ask and you shall get!

I have ZERO CLUE. I think that’s why I am enjoying it so much because most Soap storylines especially the soapiest ones are VERY predictable (see the pregnancy storyline which is why I’m clamouring for something to make it interesting) but because Rob is off the damn chain right now, I haven’t a clue what he’s going to do next.

When Rob’s wild eyes appear, it’s like “stand well back”. If you watch The Walking Dead? It’s like Rick’s crazy eyes. When you see them you know shit’s about to go down…!

I am banking on them in some way destroying each other. Lachlan is on the sidelines too much right now and we all know he’s the volatile one. I reckon it won’t be long until he gets dragged in (and please don’t tell me those indepth spoilers anyone, I really don’t want to know) because we know he has scenes with Rob and there’s the body double wigs so I am banking on a death.

My prediction is that of The Whites will die and one will end up in jail. Perhaps more will die?! Who knows. But that shot of Chrissie at Finn’s funeral was TOO obvious and we have her asking if he’s ok today… I think if we see more of them together there will likely be a chance that The Whites actively destroy themselves after Rob had tied them in knots.

As for Rebecca, I haven’t the foggiest. I don’t know how she fits into all of this as sadly she is currently a walking baby carrier who says a few plotty things then disappears. She isn’t really key to this. She was the easy win early on for Rob in getting into the fold but she’s kind of useless to him now as long as she’s on side. Chrissie would NEVER trust him so I’m interested to see what happens after today. Lachlan KNOWS Rob is up to something and has his beady eye on him so I reckon Lachlan’s the one who is going to actively start fighting back. I hope so as they work so well together as actors and it’d be like the student and teacher relationship. Twisted as hell because Rob taught him all he knows…….!

I don’t know what will happen to cause Rob to fall. I haven’t a clue. I mean, the baby is in some way involved in this massive fall to earth but I don’t honestly think they’d kill a baby as a conclusion to this pseudo screwed up comedy plot. Killing a child is a very fragile and emotive story to tell and not only would it be contrived and crass to have it follow this storyline, I don’t think they have the actors for those scenes. I think the child is born and lives and is fine. Whether Rebecca lives is another matter or whether it’s Rob’s is another matter.

My dream scenario is that I don’t have to watch Aaron and Rob and Liv with a baby. I hate baby plots. I find them boring and tedious. I don’t really find babies cute. I don’t really find the nappy and late night scenes interesting. ED has three characters who are uniquely fascinating without any of that, who are young and complex and a little dark and they really do NOT need to introduce a baby. The reason that Roblivion and Rob/Aaron are so loved as a pairing is because they’re weird and wonderful and intense and complex and a little dark but also supremely sweet and so it’s so intriguing and plus, the actors are insane together. To add a cliche, pointless baby to that is just nonsense to me. That’s just my opinion though, I know many disagree :)

My ultimate dream is that whatever causes Rob to fall, he hits rock bottom and whatever that looks like, Aaron is the only one who sees him for his true self. I think that’s pretty important for them. Throughout this Aaron has still stuck up for Rob, has been exasperated and angry with him but still knows who Rob is and I think he’ll be a big factor in any moment where the world turns on Rob if that’s what happens. Because Aaron just won’t. We KNOW this. He couldn’t watch that happening now, not when he knows who Rob really is.

That said, I don’t want Rob’s redemption to be about Aaron. It was last time and that’s why I never liked it that much. Yes it was a way to show the true Rob at heart, human!Rob, but I like how they are now giving him redemption for who he actually IS. He never stopped being his nightmare self while he was with Aaron and he expected that to work. It was never going to. He never ever learned his lesson and he has lived his life this way for so long he can’t stop, not without a spectacular fall from grace. I really like how they've kept Aaron and Rob apart and Aaron got some specific focus on himself and we've seen him grow and mature, even if sometimes it was a little contrived, he deserved that time and got it and I think the same should apply with Rob because when they come back together, I think it'll be amazing.

I don’t I’ll be entirely satisfied with what will come but so far, I’m really enjoying it. Tbh seeing as the baby is supposed to arrive in November, we won’t have too long to wait to see how all of that unravels but I definitely 100% expect this to get worse before it gets better 😀😀

[lostinafairytaleofchaos]

Are you tired of hearing about our stories? I have given you glimpses into our journeys and relationship. Today I am feeling very thankful and grateful. As always, I write from my heart. Some of this may be repetitive from previous blogs, my apologies…. 

♥♥Today I am loving love, a place of peace ♥♥

What a difference makes when you hang in there

We embarked on a friendship, moved on to more, developing an “undefined” relationship.  Continuously spending every spare moment with each other. This went on for a couple of months. Where would it lead us?

Neither intending on a romantic relationship in the beginning, merely someone to spend time with and talk to. Not realizing or knowing that after those months of sharing intimate details and very private thoughts, we would end up falling for each other.

Once I became ready for a relationship, thinking it was not possible with him, I contemplated dating others. I couldn’t see passed being with someone else. I felt like I knew him; although I really din’t. On a regular basis we were spending so much time together. How would I fit another man into my life? He had become a constant for me. I longed to see him, I couldn’t wait to touch him, I missed his smell when he was not around. Was he perfect? NO. He came with as many issues, as many as Vogue magazine. Full of emotional and abandonment issues.  Fully unpacked luggage, carrying it around for quite some time. His baggage appeared to run a little deeper, in a different manner. I would tease that he was emotionally unavailable, not realizing how deep those wounds were really running. My abandonment issues caused an independent, dissociative, wall building woman, never allowing any man that I was having “relations” with to do anything for me. In my head, I would owe them something, they would hold it over me, own me or control me somehow. Like I was a prostitute. I despised the thought that someone could be or was doing something for me just to hold it over my head or use it as a form of a payback for themselves. If you are not doing it from your heart, don’t do it at all.

Once we were steadily seeing each other, still as an “undefined” couple, mentally I became compelled to self-sabotage this relationship. I overly analyzed his past occurrences; I was obviously insecure about those based on previous discussions. I compared myself to his previous relationships. The lost child in me was in fight or flight mode. Additionally, I was being judgmental towards him. I didn’t agree with his lifestyle prior to me. I didn’t agree with his behaviors that were spewing over into our relationship. I also did not have a right to give him an ultimatum nor did I have a right to dictate who his friends were. Does that ever work out? In my past relationships, I never questioned anything, I should have. I decided because we were “undefined”, I would try not to show emotions if I were upset with him talking about his exes too much. Figuring I wasn’t the one for him and he was still in love with them. I would hide my feelings to the point of shutting down when he mentioned still being friends with many. I spent my sessions talking to my psychologist about concerns. She encouraged honest and open communication and stop self sabotaging. My friends and some family knew I was seeing someone, they didn’t agree with the relationship. My only supporter being my psychologist. She kept telling me to hold on, be patient, don’t compare him to others, he isn’t his past. Remember that we all come with a past, express my concerns. She knew in advance that he was good for me. My psychologist would always ask about us in every session (and still does). My assumptions were eating me alive and the more I found out, the more I doubted the relationship.

We did everything but talk about his feelings for me. This bothered me to the core. Where was this going?

I recall when he received the keys to his house, the first thing he did was give me a key. Insisting on my comfort there. Leaving much of the decorating to me, not wanting me to leave. I was clueless as to what any of this meant.

Then came month four, Hidden is how I felt. Barely anyone knew about me nor our still “undefined” relationship. I considered on numerous occasions yet again, cutting the relationship off. I could not bring myself to do it.

I would look at him and see hope, I saw someone that had hidden love in them, potential, someone that needed to be loved for who they really were and just needed to be themselves in many ways, accepted, much like I needed.

Every day he taught me something new, not just knowledge about politics, the world, history, but about myself. He wasn’t the social person I dreamt about; his schedule made that difficult. My small circle categorized him as being anti-social in fact. They encouraged and insisted on me to dating others. I could not rationalize nor explicate my feelings of love and frustration to them, without sounding happy yet irritated, even confused with the situation. That was such a struggle.

I recall asking him at one point how he felt about me, his response, “I like you a lot”. My thought, “asshole”. I should prepare myself to leave now. I am wasting my time. I have told you my feelings and you just like me a lot? I was on fire.

I had made the choice to be with him, to not date others (not saying he had not done the same).

Devastation hits during the end of the fourth month we discovered he was dealing with a form of blood cancer, polycythemia vera. The illness did not sway my decision to stay with him. I knew in my heart, I loved him. I was not going anywhere. He had accepted my chronic illnesses. I wanted to help him, take this away from him, make his world better. I vowed to never miss a doctor’s appointment. I became very involved with his health. His illness would not be the demise of our relationship, his actions or lack there of would be. I was at least a good friend. I was a great caretaker, it is my nature.

Somewhere during this time period,  finally I worked up the courage to express my feelings and the hurt over his statement of “liking me a lot”, holding nothing back, appearing just as a woman would appear, crazy! I clearly did not know where things stood. I don’t do subtle well. I can’t read between the lines. I mastered jumping to conclusions and assumptions. For months, I was the one openly discussing my feelings for him. I was saying “I love you”, “I am in love with you”, receiving absolutely zero reciprocation. Did he not recognize my commitment or did he not want a committed relationship? Maybe he just wanted a companion. That wasn’t for me. I began to pull away some.

I was going out more, hanging out a little bit with some old friends, trying to get my mind off of this “lack of relationship”. I knew where I wanted it to go, was it not getting there fast enough for me? I was wrong to do things I did in many ways. I was rude at times when he was nice. He encouraged me to go out, I told him who I was going with, I told him not to encourage it. I even stayed out a couple of nights. This was absolutely disrespectful, unacceptable, and irresponsible on my part. If the situation were reversed, I would not forgive it. I simply would walk out. I can admit to my faults. I know it was wrong. He didn’t hold it over my head; therefore, again I didn’t feel like he cared. This fueled my fire more. I can have a wild side, I despise it. It is destructive, impulsive, and reckless.

Then one day he said it, he loved me. Soon after he began showing it. From day one of our  friendship, every conversation started with “how was your day?” or “how was your night?”, “what are you doing today?”.

This was a different feeling, there was a difference in his actions. Those questions never ceased, he was truly invested in  wanting to know how I felt, he cared about my health, he cared about how much sleep I was getting, what I was eating properly, the amount of my activity, my stress levels, my overall well- being, people taking advantage of my time and willingness to help.

He predicted my flares before I could. He identified signs of my fatigue on days I was pushing through. We spend all free time together and honestly never bore of one another, YES, we ask each other. We are both free to have our own time, that is a given. We enjoy each others company.

We have talked about a future together. I can’t imagine a future with another. This relationship began at a slow pace and continues to slowly evolve. Many issues and concerns, I will still admit too. Including overcoming some of his past decisions, those are my issues, not his.

In a recent blog, I wrote about some things that were unsettling to me. What occurred after tolerating the behaviors related to those topics, came a vast amount of communication. Each time I believe I have let them go, there is a mention of an ex. The thoughts and frustrations come flashing back, they are embedded in my head. Each time, they become less and less irritating.

The things I love about him:

I love his snoring when we can sleep in the bed together, it soothes me. I love his smell, I love his breathing, I love how he constantly moves his feet when he is lying down, I love how he always wants to debate (not argue), I laugh it off, it is comical. His lack of understanding as to how intelligent he is. I love that he allows me to try to take care of him, while believing I haven’t a clue as to care for myself. I love that he tolerates my OCD, he laughs at me. He tolerated my paths of taking the long way around everything, because it alleviates my anxiety, it does increase his. I love that he accepts my chaotic mind and thoughts, when he just wants me to relax and be at peace. I love that he understands me or tries and sometimes pretends. I love our communication. We talk things through and work things out. I love that he wants to be a partner. I love that he is tolerant, I love that he is willing to compromises. I love that he loves me. He must by accepting my illnesses, my idiosyncrasies, my Google obsession, short lived hobbies, my attempts at cooking new things and ruining them, my budgeting attempts and lack there of, my emotions from time to time, my being “wanty” and needy for affection. I give him credit for growing throughout this year. He knows my wants and needs. He is becoming more affectionate, more attentive, geez, he pays attention to things I do not even think he is paying attention to now, other things that I may really need him to pay attention to (such as picking where we are going to eat or what we are having for dinner), not so much. He is trying, he is willing to try, he is willing to meet my needs as I am willing to meet his. This is a huge step for us both, to know what it truly feels like to be in a partnership.

Our conversations are hilarious. He makes me laugh so hard. We talk about and think about the dumbest things. If you heard some of them, you would literally believe we were in sane. We are both 90% home bodies, socially selective, kind of opinionated, outspoken, yet reserved, a little conscientious of how others may perceive us, it works. It’s our world. A world we made.

Look at the blessings gained compared to my worries! I have would have lost so much by jumping the fence during my time of skepticism. What if I would have left him for another man? That other man could have even more baggage and may not be as tolerable, patient, understanding, caring, or willing to compromise, communicate, be a true partner.

I am so glad that I continue to listen to my heart and my psychologist. I am glad I have this relationship. It feels healthy. It feels like no other. We can sit and do absolutely nothing and I am content with that. I am happy just to make him happy and he reciprocates. I have my future needs and wants. Who knows where this will lead? For now, I am just looking at our growth over a 14-month period it has it grown. He puts me first. He is not the same man that I worked with in 2010 that appeared angry and irritated, he is not the same man that I saw at that bar in 2013 who was a complete ass, he is not the same man that I began “hanging” out with in October of 2018. He is thoughtful, he is caring, he is in tune with my emotions. He is my best friend, my lover, my partner, my safe haven, my sounding board, my reasoning, my balance, my hope, my love. He is one of the easiest people I have ever lived with in my life. He is easy to be around. Our relationship is not perfect, it is growing. We are watering our garden so to speak.

So many times, we give up on love and go through life thinking that our past relationship failures should determine every relationship we come across. We think every person is the same. We become jaded, angry, insecure, skeptical, question motives. Often never taking a chance to try again, if you see hope, that is really all you need to see. The first time I talked to him, the first time I looked at him, never even thinking about a relationship with him, I saw hope. Little did I know, that hope, would bring me to this point! On the days that I thought about giving up, I also thought about what I would be giving up. I thought about what I could not live without.

So many say the first year is the “honeymoon stage”! NOT….

This first year we have faced misunderstandings, health issues on both sides, my insecurities, involvement and opinions from others, some ups and downs. We did that during those first 6-7 months. I think the “honeymoon stage” is simply bull.

I do live in my own world, openly admitting to it. I also live in reality now. In order to build and maintain a healthy relationship, both parties have to be willing to move forward together, understanding that they must accept changes as they come, whether it be in circumstances or in each other. It is simply two imperfect people learning to love each other the perfect way!

In my opinion, boyfriend/ girlfriend or marriage, if you are going to have that type of love and bond, nothing should change the building bricks. build a solid foundation, if both partners are on the same page the rest of the chapters will be written throughout time….

Don’t be afraid to love after you have been hurt.

Love is above all things the best healer

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  Patience, Communication, Acceptance, Overcoming – Finding Hope Are you tired of hearing about our stories? I have given you glimpses into our journeys and relationship.