#i have well over twice my current life ahead of me i can't wait to find out what i do with it

[rhyme-thinks-stuff]

oh man it'll be so cool to see kids growing up and not know all the things that were everywhere when i was growing up. it'll be so cool to watch new young people rediscover the things i like now!!

[pointycorgiears]

Splinter

"Ouch!"

Mihawk raised his eyes to Talon who was frowning at his palm. He drew the pair of tweezers back and waited for the child to settle again before poking at his skin with the tiny instrument once more.

After another unsuccessful attempt, he sighed. "It seems this last shard of glass is too small for me to extract. It will have to remain until it comes out on its own."

"You're just going to leave it in there?" Talon asked, alarmed and confused.

"Yes. I can't grab on to it. It will come out in a few days. I will put a bandage around the area so it doesn't get disturbed."

Talon peered closely at his hand. "But, how will it come out?"

"Your body will push it out. New skin will grow around it and force it to move."

Talon stared at him,eyes wide. "Are you sure you can't take it out? What if you just cut it?"

"We are not going to cause anymore unnecessary damage. You will have to be patient."

"But I want it out now! All my other repairs are done! That's not fair!"

Mihawk blinked, minding his patience. "Then you should think twice about barreling into a glass window as a surprise attack next time there's a raid. You haven't yet learned Armament Haki to coat yourself. You are fortunate none got into your eyes."

Talon frowned as he turned his eyes away, glaring at the floor and grumbling "I don't need it...nothing can hurt me..."

"Except the smallest shard of glass has now given you a splinter. You need to learn to defend yourself against passive hazards and injuries."

Talon shaped his index finger on his other hand into a sharp blade. "Are you sure it won't come out?"

Mihawk quickly but gently placed an adhesive bandage over the splinter before the child could be tempted to act. "Not right now, but with time it will," he said softly. He took Talon's other hand in his own and the blade disappeared. "Things such as splinters are a fact of life. If we're not careful, they can become embedded in us, and even though most of the time they are just an annoyance, sometimes they can be painful. So you must be vigilant. You were made to be near invincible, but none of us can ever truly know what lies ahead in this vast world."

Mihawk squeezed Talon's hand, then let go and stood to begin putting the rest of the medical supplies away. Talon watched him, Mihawk's words turning over in his head. He began to wonder...

"Do you have a splinter, Dad?"

Mihawk paused in what he was doing and looked at the boy. "Not presently," he simply replied.

"Oh, I thought you had one of the painful ones. Did it come out already?"

Mihawk raised his brow. "I haven't been unlucky enough to receive one in a very long while. Why do you ask, Talon?"

"Well, you've been frowning a lot lately. Like something is hurting you?"

Silence, as Mihawk shut the first aid kit and a realization dawned on him. So, he hadn't been concealing his emotions over the past few days as well as he thought.

"I'm sorry if I alarmed you, Talon," he sighed, kneeling back down in front of the child and gazing at him softly. "There was something in the newspaper the other day that...upset me, and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind."

Talon perked up. "What was it? Was someone captured? Did something bad happen!?"

Mihawk raised his hand in a calming manner and taking the child's again. "No, no. Nothing bad has happened. There was an article recently that mentioned a name I hadn't heard in a very long time. Someone I thought I would never see again."

"Who was it? Was it someone mean to you?"

"No, quite the opposite actually." Mihawk stared at the Seraphim boy, his clone. His son. They were a small family, but one nonetheless. Talon deserved to know about the rest of his family history. "I think it's time I told you about your uncle."

~~~~

Mihawk guided Talon to the common room in the main tent. The others were currently out and about, thankfully leaving the two of them alone in the large space. Mihawk sat on the green sofa, rummaging through a stack of newspapers on the stand next to it, and then inviting Talon to come sit next to him. Talon squished himself into Mihawk's side, excited to see what his father had to show him. Mihawk found the days old paper he was searching for and flipped to page that had sent him reeling with emotion a few mornings ago.

"This here," Mihawk pointed to an article at the bottom of the page that highlighted an art festival. Several different names were in bold letters. It was small, barely taking up four inches of space in the corner, but Talon recognized one of the names immediately.

"Dracule Harrier," Talon read aloud without prompt from Mihawk, "graciously honored at the Diamond Moon Festival for his smithing skills and supreme craftsmanship of the sword, Kingfisher, Dracule's personal weapon."

Talon then peered up at Mihawk. "That guy is your brother?"

Mihawk solemnly nodded. "Yes."

"How come I have no data about him?"

Mihawk sighed. "The last time I saw my brother was when we were just children. My parents took him away with them when they abandoned me, and I grew up with your Grandma Moro instead. I wasn't sure if he was even still alive, so I knew nothing about him. The government had no reason to believe he even existed and no need to gather information about him. Their focus was solely on me."

Talon tilted his head, confused. "So then, this is the first time you've read about him? Why did it make you upset? I thought he was nice to you?"

Mihawk hung his arm around Talon's shoulders and squeezed him closer. "He was very nice to me. I had two older siblings, who were mean to me all the time. They didn't like me. They thought I was cursed because of my eyes. However, my little brother, Harri-," Mihawk had to pause as he said the name aloud, the first time he'd done so in years, and cleared his throat, "Harrier was my only friend. We would play together and pretend to sword fight. He always shared his food and treats with me. He made sure I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents so they wouldn't be mad at me. He was a very good little brother."

"Why did they all leave you?"

"They didn't want me," Mihawk said quietly, his yellow eyes casting downward. "They did not like my eyes, and they refused to love me because of it. Except for Harrier. So they took him away from me."

"Do you miss him?"

Mihawk tilted his head, gazing at Talon. If anyone else had ever asked him that question, he would deny even knowing who they were talking about and how dare they make such sentimental assumptions about his well-kept emotions. Looking at Talon was akin to looking in a mirror though, and he couldn't hide from himself. "Yes. I do."

"Is that why you were upset?"

"...I suppose so."

Talon leaned into his side, wrapping his wings around Mihawk's midsection. "I miss my brothers and sisters too."

This was certainly a different kind of bandage, wrapped in the boy's arms and wings.

Talon lifted his head to look at his father again. "Does this mean you are going to go find him? Can I come with you?"

Mihawk shook his head, but gave a soft smile. "I do not know if that is possible, but...if I so decide to make that journey someday, I will absolutely have you by my side."

"I want to meet him! He has his own sword, so he must be good like you!"

"I'm sure he would be delighted to meet you too." Mihawk squeezed him once more, then motioned for Talon to stand. "However, right now, it's best you go get ready for bed. I will be there soon, after I find the others and lock up this place for the night."

"Okay, Dad!" Talon hopped off the couch and scampered down the staircase, muttering about how he can't wait to meet his newfound uncle.

"Brush your teeth!" Mihawk called after him as he also stood, the newspaper still in hand. Before he set the paper back on the stand, his gaze lingered on his long lost brother's name, and then fell on the title of Harrier's sword.

Kingfisher.

There was something he did not reveal to Talon, so as not to excite the boy, or worry him. When they were still together, Mihawk and his brother made it a point to look out for each other. They both knew the terrible things their parents and siblings were capable of, mostly at Mihawk's expense. So they developed their own way of communicating while under the scrutiny and oppression of their parents. They created hand signals and code words that only the two of them knew. Harrier had always been a secretive child, trusting only Mihawk with certain information since the time he learned to talk.

Even though he had lost track of his sibling after being abandoned, it wasn't a stretch for Mihawk to assume that specific personality trait had never changed.

It had been years. Not once had his brother's name appeared in papers, documents, or word of mouth since they'd been separated. Until now. And it was so blatant. Printed in bold, yet small enough that it was still hiding in plain sight. Then there was the name next to it. The name that once told the young Mihawk that his brother needed to hide from mom and dad for awhile. He could hear Harrier's then tiny voice whispering in his ear, "Brother, I want to go see the kingfishers at the river today."

Brother, I need help.

Mihawk set the paper down. His frown returned as Harrier's old words cut him like a shard that was stuck in his memory.

His brother was trying to reach out to him.

[venusinsilk]

My friend (well she's better friends with my roommate but we've hung out a lot) texted me last week asking me if I wanted to swim Alcatraz this upcoming June and I was like...... maybe yeah??? She says "it's only 1.5 miles!" And first of all, ONLY????? 1.5 MILES??? IN OPEN WATER? WINDY AS FUCK AND COLD. Possibly foggy too. So I'm like alright, let's talk about it further. Because I think it would be great to have ~fitness goals.~ I am confident of my swimming abilities but I'm not delusional. I ask her for more info- who is hosting the swim, how much does registration cost, etc. She sends it to me and these people want $250 and it days we have to finish in 75 minutes!!!!!! And it's a fucking race. I was like girl.... no. I will do a fun swim that isn't a goddamn race and I'll do it in 2025, not 6 months from now. No fucking way will i be ready that quickly. They say you should be able to swim a mile under 40 minutes-- i don't even know what my swim time is for any length. I've never been on a team or timed myself, I just started swimming a lot in my adult life and recently pursued freediving for fun.

So I talk to my roommate and say Hey! Did she tell you about this Alcatraz swim? She's like Yeah, and this bitch doesn't have car insurance! How the fuck is she going to drive to San Francisco?? Lmaoooo

So I call her back and insist that we aim for 2025 for her financial reasons, not even because I can't fucking do it. And I ask her how often she wants to train in the ocean, I offer to go with her. She says she'll be fine if she goes in the ocean TWICE before the race...... ok.......

So I implore her to rethink her training program (lol) and spend more time open water swimming because fighting against a current and getting salt water in your face and up your nose is very different from doing laps in a heated pool

So she says ok, I'll come over and we'll go. My roommate insists that she's going to flake and not show up at all.

Saturday morning rolls around and this bitch is in front of my house shouting my name into a fucking bullhorn. She doesn't have a wetsuit so I make her borrow my boyfriend's.

I drive her to the beach. She's freaking out because she's afraid the fish will bite. I tell her that's a possibility but it hasn't happened to me yet.

We swim to the buoy. I've been sick with a cough for the past 2 weeks and I can't catch my breath. She swims way ahead and waits for my at the buoy. This particular buoy has a thermometer attached to it in the water that reads 62F. Not too bad but i'm coughing up phlem. We swim down the beach, and back to the buoy. I swim backstroke for part of it and breaststroke for most of it because I can't fucking breath.

It total, we maybe swam 1/4 mile. The Alcatraz swim is 1.5 miles if you stay perfectly on course. You should be prepared for 2 miles. I asked her if she's coming back next Saturday and she said yeah she wants to keep doing this. I'm down to keep trying but jesus christ this was humbling

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Little Witch | The Mikaelson Boys

Hey lovelies, I’m finally back with some Mikaleson Brothers content. I’ve had this idea for a while and rewrote it about a thousand times. I’m not sure if I love this but I needed to just finish it. I feel like it’s not that great but regardless I’m giving it to you. It’s super fluffy and a quick burn romance but, hey, who doesn’t like kissing me you just met you know? In all seriousness I hope you’re all doing well. I know life is really off right now and I hope this helps. All my love <3 until next time loves!

Description: Hogwarts and The Originals crossover, disbelief must be suspended for this one as we all know some of this doesn’t add up, soulmate AU

Pairing: The Mikaelson Boys x Female!Hufflepuff!Reader

Warnings: there are no warnings

Word count: 6.7k

Tags: FLUFF

Tag List: @activist-af , @hellotvshowtrash , @firebirdsalvatore

(Photos not mine but mood board is :) )

“There you are, sweetheart,” her gentle voice breaks through you dreams, pulling you from the same scene you’ve grown used to seeing for the last couple weeks, “you’re going to miss dinner sleepyhead.”

You awake to a familiar picture: your books sprawled across a desk in the middle of the library and a fiery redhead with a soft smile holding a semi-crumpled cardigan towards you. Her eyes twinkle with laughter and familiarity. This isn’t the first time Arabella has found you asleep after you told her you were going to be studying. When you look down at your divination textbook you notice a small pink smudge from your cherry lip gloss. You wipe your fingers around your lips, collecting the rest of your smeared makeup.

You stifle a yawn, stretching your limbs out with a soft groan, “shoot, I fell asleep again. What time is it, Ari?”

“Quarter to six, hun,” she reaches out to brush some fallen hair out of your eyes, “we should really get a move on. Are you feeling okay?”

You nod, this time the yawn interrupting any intention to answer that you had. Your head buzzes lightly with the remnants of your dream. For weeks you’ve felt something on the horizon, something meant just for you. Three pairs of brown eyes and the warmest feeling in your chest. It’s the same feeling you’ve been waking up with every night, if not a touch stronger this evening. You don’t mind it though, it layers a warmth to your bones that this winter in the castle has stripped from you.

“I haven’t been sleeping too well lately is all,” you let Arabella help you slip your cardigan back on, straightening it and your tie, evening the yellow and gray stripes. 

Her hands still against your shoulders, her concerned green eyes meeting your own half open ones, “still having those dreams, sunshine?” 

You nod once more, sagging slightly from the weight of your tote when she loops it over your shoulder. Your skin tingles with slight electricity, lulling your already fuzzy brain into a deeper haze. You tug your sleeves over your hands, scrunching your fingers into a fist to try and regain some awareness.

“Hmm,” Arabella pushes the same strand of hair from your forehead again, removing her headband and putting it on you instead to keep your unruly strands in place, “remind me to make you some tea before bed. I have some herbs from the greenhouse that might help with them. Let’s go get some food into you first though, ok?

She links her arm through yours, pulling you alongside her towards the dining hall. The corridors are mostly empty, spare a few behind students. Much like yourselves, they hurry in the same direction, following the wafting smell of roasted chicken and pumpkin pie. You can’t help but shiver as you watch them rush, feeling like someone forgot to tell you something. As if everyone knows a secret that you very well must have snoozed through.

“Hey Ari,” you tug lightly on her sleeve to get her attention, “why is everyone in such a hurry? Did I miss something?”

She looks confused for a moment, her button nose scrunching tight before her mouth falls open, “oh yes, that’s right! I forgot to tell you! Some seventh year prefects overheard McGonagall talking about some exchange students from Ilvermorny. They’re supposed to be here for dinner!”

Your skin crackles with electricity, the air static with anticipation, “Ilvermorny? They’re from America?”

She nods her head cheerfully as the two of you approach the towering doors of the dining hall, “I know, it’s crazy right?”

You can hear the buzz of activity emitting from the hall before you cross the corridor, a dull roar that lights you with an even mixture of excitement and nervousness. 

“They certainly think so,” you motion to the giggling fourth year girls who scurry past you, their chatter no doubt about the possibility of Hogwarts’ newest additions. 

The current coursing through your body sings when Arabella pulls you through the doors. The dining hall is a flurry of activity, each house no doubt wondering if they’ve gained any new members tonight. The thought of some new Hufflepuffs warms your heart. You haven’t had any new faces around in ages it feels like. You let her lead you to a few seats left open near the front of the hall, next to the small stage.

You fall into your seat with a sigh, graciously accepting the plate of food Arabella hands you. How she made it so quick you aren't sure. Magic probably, that would make the most sense. When you glance over at her she has her wand out, levitating food onto her own plate. She always puts you ahead of herself, something you can't help but feel bad about sometimes. Regardless, it warms your heart immensely to be lucky enough to have such a caring best friend. You catch her eye and she passes you a loving smile and a wink before lowering her plate. 

As you take the first bite of your pumpkin pie, ignoring the nudge you get for eating your dessert first, Headmistress McGonogal taps her wand to the podium in front of her.

“Students,” she clears her throat, waiting for the noise in the great hall to quiet, “as quite a few of you have already heard by now,” she searches you all with a glint in her eye, a small smile on her lips, “we have a few students joining us.”

The great hall buzzes at her admission, a current running through the entirety of the student body and, most of all, you. Your head feels like it’s spinning. Like you’ve just drunk a litre of fire whiskey and that if you stand up there’s a good chance you’ll fall right over. You drop your fork but the clatter it makes doesn’t register with you as much as it should. Arabella looks over at you, clearly worried, and raises her eyebrows, placing a warm hand on your back. 

As you go to shrug your shoulders at her, the doors to the great hall open once more, “ah, and here they are! Please, everyone, show them your warmest welcome. They have come a long way, all the way from Ilvermorny in the United States.”

McGonogal continues to speak about Hogwarts and its connection to Ilvermorny but her speech is drowned out by cheering from all over the great hall. Well, you’re pretty sure it is. Your pulse is thundering so loudly in your ears that you can’t hear much of anything at all. Arabella stares at you still, growing more and more scared as the seconds pass. You think you say something, you open your mouth at least, but whatever words come out of your mouth don’t reach your ears. Arabella tightens her grip.

You close your eyes, squeezing them shut tightly, desperately willing your senses to go back to normal. It almost works too but then you breathe in and are hit with three scents so hard that you almost vomit. Not because they’re terrible, though, they’re anything but. No, you almost puke because of how fast you’re swamped in pine and buttery leather and the entire damn sea and how quickly it makes your heart rate spike. Are you having a heart attack? What is going on?

When you open your eyes the great hall is spinning and you know for a fact that you’re the only one experiencing this carousel ride. You have to get out of here. You push away from the table, standing on legs much too shaky for your own good. Arabella calls your name and it sounds like she’s behind a thick sheet of glass, one you can’t break no matter how hard you slam against it. The trees and leather and sea wraps around you again and your knees almost give out. There’s only one thing you can think to do and you don’t hesitate to do it. 

You run like hell. 

No. Scratch that. You run like hell is chasing you and, well, maybe it is. Maybe hell is a person, or people, perhaps even three people, and their footsteps pound down the corridor behind you so loud they echo through your chest. Your kilt whips around your legs, your hair flying behind you as you clear the corners as they come. You can feel them, whoever they are, gaining but slowly. You can make it, you know you can.

It’s midwinter, the thick of February, and yet you feel like you’re wading through lava. The halls should be ice right now but your blood is scorching you from the inside out. You pull the sweater from your chest as you run, not thinking twice before dropping it, never stopping. Your skin is charged with electricity and you want to scream and tear your heart out but you can’t, not now. You feel them like they’re right on your heels, the triplet of scents swirling furiously around you. You need to get outside. Now. 

You make it to the courtyard, practically leaping off the cement steps, but a hand catches your arm midair and you stumble. You see the ground hurtling towards you in slow motion, the cobblestone path laughing at you. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for the stones to bite into your side but they never do. Instead you’re wrapped in pine, two warm arms pulling you into a firm, hot chest. 

You thought your skin was electrified before but that was nothing compared to what is now. Everywhere your body touches the person holding you prickles with static. You can almost hear your flesh crackle, each one of your veins roaring so loud that all you can hear is your blood rushing through you. It’s like a tsunami, waves of fire and power and fucking pine rolling over you unrelentlessly. You aren’t quite sure if you’re still breathing.

You feel another pair of hands on your back, rubbing up and down, spreading the fire like butter over your shoulder blades. Your body reacts on it’s own, your back arching into whoever it is behind you, your head falling onto a shoulder that smells like summer at the beach. 

A part of you is screaming to run. To jab your elbow into their stomach and fight like hell. However, against all of your better judgement, the feeling is fading and fast. Hands skim down your arms lightly and you fight the delicious shiver that crawls up your spine. You don’t realize you’re still clinging to the first person until your fists squeeze around the cotton of their shirt. Their hands hand loosely off your hips and you don’t even want to acknowledge how much you like it. 

Instead of fighting, you pry your eyes open, only to stare directly into strikingly familiar brown eyes. Your breath catches in your chest, your head still against his shoulder. He leans closer towards you, blonde hair falling down his face slightly. It looks entirely soft and you squeeze your hands tighter, resisting the urge to touch this stranger’s hair. His scent, that overbearing ocean, wraps around you again. He definitely doesn’t feel like a stranger.

“Hi love,” his voice is soft and lulls you deeper into his chest, his nose skimming the arch of your cheekbone, “you’re lucky we’re fast. That could have been quite the fall.”

He chuckles lightly and your cheeks flame, the noise like the wind chimes you hung in the greenhouse your fourth year. His laugh hits you in the gut and radiates to every inch of your skin, cooling the flames but also concentrating them lower. Too low. Your traitorous core sets on fire from the mixture of his musical laugh and mesmerizing eyes. Merlin, you don’t even know his name.

You look away from him but you can’t escape his eyes no matter how hard you try, looking directly into an identical pair of warm, brown eyes. The man in front of you, the one with his hands squeezing your hips, is also frustratingly familiar. He’s tall, his chest, the one underneath your fingertips, is broad and heaves up and down with every breath. Your body, being the wanton force of nature she is, longs to have you wrap your legs, and every other part of you, around the man in front of you. When the blonde behind you wraps his arms around your stomach, reminding you that he’s still there, you want to do the same to him as well.

Memories prickle the edges of your mind, the dreams you’ve been having for weeks now flashing behind your eyelids every time you blink. The warmth in your bones and the molten brown eyes. The same electricity that is burning through your chest and head and core, only now it’s a million times stronger. You shake your head. Not at the man in front of you but at yourself. No way are these the men from your dreams. That’s impossible, Right? And besides, there were three eyes in your dreams.

“There you guys are,” a voice, steadily approaching and as slow and tantalizing as honey, pulls your attention away from the men surrounding you, “I can’t believe you left me to explain what was happening to McGonagall.”

You meet the third pair of eyes with an audible gasp, his sharp leather scent curling around you despite the distance between the two of you. It sinks into your skin and puts you in motion, like the potion you needed to break whatever paralyzing spell you were under. You pull yourself so suddenly from the two men that they don’t have time to catch you, putting some much needed distance between all four of you. You force yourself to ignore the way your heart aches already. Your hand finds the wand in your kilt pocket. Stupid girl, longing for men you don’t even know. 

You find your voice but only enough to mutter hastily, “Were you chasing me? Aren’t you supposed to be meeting, like, the whole school right now? What in Merlin’s name is going on?” 

The newest male takes a step towards you, his eyes drawing up and down your body, reigniting the heat that has been slowly subsiding and lingering on your hand wrapped around your wand. He smirks at you, like he knows something that you don’t and, honestly, he probably does. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth. His hair is dark brown and just as touchable as the previous two. You squeeze your fist tighter.

“One question at a time, darling,” he takes another step and you tense your shoulders instinctively even though your body is fighting the urge to run to him, “we’ll tell you everything. Can we go inside first, though? You look like you’re freezing. Is this yours?”

His question isn’t really a question, in his hands is your cardigan. He picked it up for you? You let your shoulders sag slightly and your grip loosen. He doesn’t know you, why did he bother picking it up?

“I-,” you release the wand slowly, “yeah that’s mine. Thank you.”

He’s right about the cold, now that you aren’t sandwiched between the other two men the chill nips at your fingers and legs. You go to take your sweater from him but he holds it open, beckoning you to turn around and let him put it on you for you. You sigh but oblige, tucking your arms into the soft wool with his help. His hands smooth down your arms once you’re settled, the familiar sparks following their path. You’re head squeezes with confusion and you want to scream if only to release the pressure.

You turn in his hands, meaning to break his hold but only ending up closer to his chest, “what is going on?”

He wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest. The ache in your heart eases drastically and you breathe in the leather once more. Merlin’s sake, this is exhausting. Even so, your limbs feel lighter in his arms. His eyes burn into yours and you don’t even try to look away, letting him extract whatever information he wants from you. You’re almost sure he can read every thought flashing through your eyes.

“Can’t you feel it?” His hand brushes your cheek, your skin buzzing on cue, “feel us? Like there’s a string pulling you to us, right? We feel warm, don’t we, and you want to be near us. You feel like you know us but you don’t know how or why.”

You find yourself nodding along to the words of a man whose name you don’t even know yet, your hands finding their way to his chest. 

“Who are you,” you turn to meet the other two, your eyes wide, “all of you.” 

The second man, the one who caught you, steps forward, holding out a hand for you to take. You aren’t sure why but you look back to the male in front of you, the one with his arms still tight around you, for approval. He nods, letting his arms fall almost reluctantly. When he releases you, you’re quickly pulled back into the pine scented chest. You don’t like how easily your body moulds to his, how his body seems to have some sort of claim on yours. How all of their bodies do.

“Elijah,” he rests his chin against your head, caging you against a chest that feels too much like home to make any sense, “I’m Elijah. You were just talking to Kol and Klaus-”

The hands, the same ones from before, once again rest on your back, drawing a traitorous sigh from your lips, “is right behind you, love, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Your heart squeezes dangerously at his words, letting them fill you with the warmth of his promise. Even if your rationality doesn't accept it for the immediate truth it is, every other part of you does. You pull out of Elijah’s arms and turn to the ocean of a man behind you, throwing your arms around his neck without a second thought. He, too, feels like coming home. He takes no time squeezing you against him and burying his face in your neck. You feel hands behind you move your hair away from your neck and then a nose drawing up the exposed bumps of your spine. 

“I don’t understand any of this,” you mumble into Klaus’ shoulder, “I don’t understand what any of this means.”

“Of course you do, darling. You can feel it in your bones,” Kol pushes his nose against your temple, his lips skimming your ear before tugging the lobe between his teeth.

Merlin. His teeth on your skin sends heat pooling in the pit of your belly. You tighten your arms around Klaus, biting back an embarrassing moan as he laughs again. This time the sound echos through your chest and wraps around your heart, grabbing on and refusing to let go. Kol’s lips skim down your jaw, nipping lightly at your throat in a way that is completely inappropriate for a man you just met but you don’t care right now. 

Arms wrap around you from behind and you sink back into them, letting Elijah spin you and haul you into his chest. Your head is spinning from how quickly you’re being passed around by men you don’t know. Your heart stings slightly, the comfort you feel in the large male’s arms screaming at you. Perhaps you don’t know them but your body has been waiting centuries for them and is more than ready to reunite. You don’t hesitate to wrap your legs around him. 

“Baby,” your heart stutters and his pupils expand like he can hear it, “do you mind if we go back to our dorm before anyone sees us?” Elijah glances over your head, searching around the courtyard before landing back on yours, “This is a lot to explain to one person, let alone the whole school.”

Your cheeks flame for the millionth time and your head whips around, searching the courtyard yourself for any prying eyes. You breathe a quick sigh of relief when you don’t see anyone. He’s right and, besides, you really are freezing now, your exposed legs two icicles.

You smile gently at him, savouring the way his eyes draw to your lips, “that’s probably a good idea.”

You go to unwrap your legs from his hips when he stops you, his hands tightening around your back and thighs, “may I?”

Your eyes widen, your hands stilling on his shoulders, “you want to carry me?”

He leans his forehead against yours, his nose brushing yours gently, “very much so, baby.”

Your heart feels like it restarts, kicking your pulse into overdrive. You don’t trust yourself to speak, your entire body engulfed in pine and flames like a forest fire that you never knew could exist. You just nod, your arms snaking around his neck and pulling you flush against his chest. You can feel every breath he takes, closing your eyes when he begins walking. 

The hallways, thankfully, feel empty and you don’t open your eyes, letting yourself sink into Elijah’s chest like you’ve been doing it your whole life and this isn’t your first experience being held by someone as large and strong as him. Your fingers, laying on the back of his neck, can’t resist shuffling through his hair. You’re already in his arms anyway, so what’s the harm. Just as you thought, his hair is soft to the touch and mesmerizing. You tangle your fingers through it, the last dregs of anxiety seeping from your bones. 

When he starts down a staircase that you aren’t anticipating you tighten your fingers, squeezing your thighs to keep from falling out of his arms. In turn Elijah releases a breathy groan, one that hits you directly between your thighs. When you open your eyes you’re met with a coal black instead of the warm brown from minutes ago. Your breath catches in your throat but not from fear, albeit it should be. You know you should be painfully afraid of this man, whom you barely know, whose arms are wrapped around you so tight it almost hurts, but you aren’t. Not even a little bit. 

Not even when he opens his mouth and you see two, very sharp looking fangs poking out of his gums, “Eli?”

You don’t know where the nickname comes from and, honestly, you don’t care. All you can think about is the irrational heat growing between your legs and his hands, once again squeezing your hips. Who is this man and why do you want him to press you against the stairs and do unspeakable things to you? You look over his shoulders at Kol and Klaus, whose eyes aren’t quite the same charcoal as Elijah’s but definitely not the sunshine whiskey that they were before. You have to bite your lip again to keep from squeezing your legs harder around Elijah. 

“Come on,” Klaus steps ahead of you and Elijah, glancing back over his shoulder and smirking teasingly, “I can hear people leaving the Great Hall.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him. How can he possibly hear the Great Hall from here? You glance back to Elijah, the sight of his fangs flashing through your mind. You shake your head, not wanting to think about any of this right now. You reach a hand up, cupping his jaw and running your thumb over his cheek like any of this at all is normal.

“Klaus is right, Eli. We need to figure this out before it gets around the school.” More than it already is, you add in your head.

The four of you somehow make it to their dorm and you breathe a sigh of relief when it’s segregated from the rest of the dorms. McGonagall probably gave them their own dorm to make them feel more comfortable. You’re just thankful to be away from the open space. You already know the entire school will be talking about what happened. Merlin why is it always you? You’re just a Hufflepuff, you didn’t sign up for any of this. 

Their dorm is magnificent. The doorway leads into a moody common room, surrounded with cozy browns and greens. The walls are lined with bookshelves and there’s a window looking out into the lake. The waves lap against the glass and you giggle as a few fish swim by, stopping to look into the room and then continue on their way. The room smells like all three of them. Like every plain of earth and sea and air. There are four doors leading to what you can only assume are their bedrooms and bathroom. Compared to your dorm, which you love but also share with five other girls, this place is an oasis.

Elijah sets you on an incredibly soft, brown leather couch and you pull your legs up, tucking them underneath you. Kol settles next to you, his arm resting on the back of the couch, behind your head. Klaus sits on your other side, pulling your legs from under you and over his lap, his hands rubbing circles on your calves. With your back now to Kol, you can’t help but let your head fall to the side against his arm, soaking in the warmth of his skin. The dungeons are colder than you thought they would be. How do the Slytherins do it? He laughs quietly, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you to lay against his chest. 

Elijah settles on the coffee table in front of the couch, leaning his elbows on his knees and staring at you with a look only slightly less hot than before. You hold a hand out for him, one he quickly takes, threading his fingers between yours, pulling your knuckles to his lips. Klaus’ hands are slowly working up your legs, now wrapped around your knees and steadily moving higher. You squeeze your eyes tight before opening them and staring at the ceiling, avoiding three pairs of brown eyes to the best of your ability.

You sigh gently, leaning into Kol’s hands as his fingers search through your hair, scratching at your scalp in a way that makes you almost keep your thoughts to yourself if only to ensure he doesn’t stop. But you need answers now.

“Okay, I’m serious this time,” your eyes train on a bookshelf, counting the books to keep yourself focussed, “who are you? You clearly aren’t like me, you aren’t witches, but you definitely aren’t regular people,” you suck in a breath, your eyes stalling on a thick book titled The History of Mythical Creatures, “so what, pray tell, are you?”

Your eyes stay focussed on the book but you don’t want to entertain the thoughts flowing through your mind. You had to read that volume in your seventh year myth class. Just because you’re a witch it doesn’t mean you’re used to the creatures you’re taught about. There’s a reason every student at Hogwarts takes eight years of defensive magic.

“You got us, little witch,” Klaus’ hands are above your knees now, kneading your exposed flesh with skilled fingers, “clever and beautiful. The perfect mate.”

Your eyes snap from the bookshelf, from the book that you know holds the answer to their identity, to the blonde lazily licking his own extended fangs. Mate. Did he just say mate? There’s no way he just said mate. Impossible. You’re a witch. As far as being mythical goes, you’re as close to normal as it gets. They, however, are something stronger. You can feel the power rolling off of them. 

“I,” your mouth falls open, your mind spinning, “what?”

Kol laughs from behind you, his chest rumbling under your back. He pulls your hair to the side again before capturing your ear with his mouth again. 

“You heard him, darling,” he tugs your earlobe between his teeth, pulling a tiny gasp from you as, “your ours. And, I hate to break it to you, but we’re pretty hard to get rid of. ”

Klaus’ hands squeeze right below the hem of your kilt, lighting your skin with the delicious sparks. If his hands weren’t there you would be squeezing your legs together for sure.

“He’s right, love, I’ve tried. Many times,” Klaus smirks at Kol in only the way an older brother could and it hits you.

“Oh, Merlin,” you close your eyes again, heat flaring across your face, “you’re brothers. All three of you are brothers. What is going on, Helga help me.”

All three of them laugh and Elijah kisses your knuckles again, “yes baby, we are in fact brothers. It’s been a long millennium.”

“Millenium?” You feel faint.

He laughs again and you wish you could pluck the sound out of the air and hold onto it for the rest of your life. When you look at him all you can do is smile and run a hand down your face. A thousand years, huh? Klaus’ hands trace lazy circles on your inner thighs as Kol’s lips find your neck, his teeth scraping your skin in a way that has you sinking even further into his buttery leather arms. When he bites down a touch harder you can’t help but wonder what kind of experience a thousand years would allow a person. 

A thousand years. Your chest stings unexpectedly as another thought hits you. It must be the day for that.

“I don’t think I’ll live a millenium. I probably have a few hundred years but a thousand? Not even close,” your heart stutters, a cold chill running over you, “You’ll all outlive me.”

Three growls sound in the room and you almost jump out of your skin in shock before you realize that they’re coming from them. Kol tightens his arms around you protectively as Klaus’ hands find your hips under your kilt, squeezing you like you just suggested you’re going to die tomorrow. Elijah drops from the coffee table, sinking to his knees in front of you and throwing an arm over your stomach. 

“You’ll be living a lot longer than that, baby, I assure you of that.”

You reach a hand towards Elijah, curling your fingers through his hair on instinct, “I may be magic, Eli, but I’m not immortal. It’s not the same for me.”

He leans into your palm, rubbing his cheek against your fingertips, “that’s an easy fix.”

Your head spins, the pieces connecting in your head as you stare into his serious eyes. For the first time all night a tinge of fear zaps your chest. Immortality is no joke.

“You want me to become like you?” You look away from him and Klaus, who nods in agreement with his brother, “You want me to become a-”

Kol nips the back of your neck and you try to ignore the pleasure rolling through you in the midst of the most serious conversation of your life, “a vampire, darling. You can say it. We’re vampires.”

The word echoes through you, bouncing around your head and lungs, fluttering in your stomach before finally settling directly between your thighs. Merlin. You sit upright quickly, pulling your legs from Klaus’ dangerously skilled fingers, and all but stumble over Elijah and the coffee table in order to put some distance between you and the brothers. You scrub your hands over your face, your entire body feeling more alive than it ever has in your short lifetime. But you know it can’t last.

You keep your hands over your eyes, letting the open air sooth you for a moment before speaking, “I’m just a witch. Just one witch and not even a good one at that,” you peel your hands from your eyes, opting instead to tug your hair, “I’m more of a farmer, honestly. I spend all my time in the library or the greenhouses. I’m not mate material. I’m definitely not,” you swallow thickly, your throat closing all of a sudden and without your permission, “vampire material. You have the wrong girl.”

As soon as you say the words they feel wrong but they’re already out of your mouth and you have to live with them now. For a long moment nobody says anything. It’s just you standing in front of them, your eyes refusing to open and your hands ripping at your hair. Your legs tremble beneath you and it feels like your heart is trying to crawl out of your throat. If it can’t be with them then it would rather stop beating altogether. The cold air of their dungeon dorm nips at your legs and fingertips painfully and you revel in the feeling of something other than the torrent of emotions that you’ve been battling for the better half of an hour. 

You feel a rush of air in front of you, forcing your eyes open just in time to see Kol standing in front of you. You open your mouth, ready to let even more words that you know you’ll regret out, but you find that you can’t speak. Not because you don’t want to, though, but because Kol’s mouth is now crashing into yours and, gods, does it ever feel like you’re breathing for the first time. Kol’s mouth is oxygen. Like before this moment you were dead and his lips are life. You grip his shoulders, your fingers digging into the taught muscle to keep yourself upright against this force of nature. 

His hands wrap in your hair and he tugs gently, swallowing each moan like it’s candy and he can’t get enough. Your hands crawl from his shoulders to his hair, doing the same to him. He groans, a sound completely different from Elijah but so similar at the same time. When his tongue finds its way between your lips you see stars. Your blood sings like you’ve walked through a magnetic field, your veins buzzing with a foreign kind of power. This time you don’t feel like you’re home, you know you are.

Kol pulls back a fraction, his lips brushing yours while he speaks, “you feel that?” His hands move to your cheeks, your skin like a current where he touches you, “I know you do, I know you feel me in your veins, darling. I don’t have the wrong person. Fate doesn’t make mistakes. You’re perfect for me.”

Your eyes widen and you push back the swell of emotion rising in your chest.

A pair of arms wraps around you from behind, a riptide pulling you into an ocean of a man, “me as well, my little witch. Besides, I quite like farmers. Tell me, can you grow strawberries?”

You try to stop yourself from sagging against his chest but you can’t and you don’t actually want to. His head falls on yours as if he’s been doing it for years.

“Pumpkins,” you whisper. You don’t know what else to say, knowing full well you aren’t ready to answer the other questions, “I grow the best pumpkins in the school.”

Klaus’ chest rumbles like a cat purring against your back, “pumpkin pie it is then, love.”

You feel a hand close around your arm, pulling you from both Kol and Klaus and into a pair of arms that rival the dark forest. Elijah lifts you against his chest, giving you a moment to wrap your legs around him before he walks the two of you to the window. He looks out in the water and it eases you knowing that you don’t have to answer to his molten brown eyes.

“I know this is a lot to take in right now, baby. I know you’re scared and tired, I can feel it. You don’t have to make any decisions right now. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t. But just know that we’re here because something stronger than time itself brought us to you. No mistakes were made,” he catches your eyes through the reflection of the glass, “I’m ready for whatever challenges this brings. I’ve been ready for a thousand years, ten lifetimes, and I would wait fifty more for you,” he pulls you further up his chest, pressing his forehead against yours, “just think about it. That’s all I’m asking.”

You can’t stop yourself from pressing your lips against his, catching his bottom lip between yours, “graduation.”

He pulls back, his eyes wide and his eyebrows scrunched together, “what?”

You pull his face back to yours, stealing another kiss that he doesn’t hesitate to return, “I just need until graduation. I need to finish my last year here, it’s my home. After that, I’m yours.”

He crushes you against him as soon as the last syllable leaves your lips and you let yourself giggle freely. He looks at you in awe, a smile blooming across his face like he just won the lottery. Kol and Klaus are next to you in an instant, their faces almost mirror images of Elijah’s. Your heart soars at the sight of the three boys you met less than three hours ago who you’ve just promised the rest of your life, and longer, to. It sounds ridiculous still but nothing has ever felt so right.

“Well, brothers,” Klaus’ eyes shine happily, “it looks like we’re going to be here longer than we thought.”

[chemical-cat]

Something I don't recommend for beginners...

Disclaimer: I do NOT want to gatekeep tarot, this is simply my personal opinion and my advice for beginners who are interested in tarot. Everything stated below is from my personal experience.

I've begun to notice a climbing interest in tarot, not just in getting readings but on people wanting to learn how to practice tarot as well, especially on tiktok. Now I'm so excited to see that there are people interested in something that I personally love and has brought a lot of happiness and just overall comfort to my own life, but it can be overwhelming as a beginner to know where to start especially when there are millions of different decks out there. What deck should you start with? What books should you read? What myths are true about tarot and what rules do you need to follow when practicing?

The biggest thing that I don't recommend for beginners is a deck like what is pictured above. Now yes the artwork is gorgeous and at first it may not seem very obvious why I don't recommend a deck like this, but the main reason I don't recommend a deck like this is that in this deck and others like it, all of the suit names are renamed.

Now at first it may seem like a nit picky type recommendation, but the reason why is that most decks follow the rider-waite closely, using the rider-waite deck as a template. While each deck may have their own unique aspects, and the artwork may be different, ultimately they still follow a very similar pattern as the rider-waite and use it to also template most of their interpretations. Now this doesn't necessarily make this a con to your average deck because of one important aspect.

Most books on tarot, use the rider-waite as its example when describing tarot, the cards within tarot, the suit names, as well as other aspects such as elements, in depth descriptions of artwork, etc. Because most tarot books use rider-waite as their examples, when practicing initially while also researching it may be easier to practice with a deck that also follows the rider-waite template more closely. Yes there may be one suit name renamed - most commonly the suit of pentacles being renamed to the suit of coins, but overall if your initial deck follows the rider-waite template closely then when using books for research or help with practice/interpretation, it will be easier to apply the advice within guides to a deck that follows closely to this template.

But with a deck above, it can be extremely confusing to apply advice from guidebooks to a deck that doesn't follow this template, especially if the guidebook that may come with the deck itself doesn't explain what the original suits have become within this deck. (Which yes it can happen, it is possible to have a guidebook that doesn't explain very concretely and while those experienced may be able to work fine with these types of decks, it can be extremely frustrating for beginners).

Now this just comes as a recommendation from my own personal experience, in my own experience, my first ever deck had all of the suit names renamed, and while the guidebook did address this, when I eventually would roll over to a deck that would follow the rider-waite template more closely, I experienced a lot of frustration and confusion. It was difficult to apply guidebooks to my original deck, as some things contradicted what the original artist of the deck would say about the cards as well, but ultimately it was very confusing trying to adjust to the rider-waite template when I was used to a deck that didn't follow that template closely. It resulted in a lot of frustration and ultimately I ended up taking a very large and long break from tarot because I thought that, because I was having difficulties in working with a deck that followed the template more closely that I wasn't meant to practice tarot, that I was wrong for ever trying it, and that no matter how much I tried I'd never be good enough.

Now I do know that not everyone is going to struggle with it, but there may be someone out there who is in the same place as I was. I did eventually go back to practicing tarot, and I was not bad at tarot, I was meant to practice it. One thing that fueled a lot of my self doubt in my own abilities, were these "rules" or "myths" about tarot that I was constantly seeing, and it was so hard to know truly what was true and what wasn't true because it varied from person to person, one person would tell you if you didn't follow rules a,b,c that you would fail and your readings wouldn't be accurate; while others would say you need to follow x,y,z and not a,b,c and if you didn't then you were following myths and limiting your own abilities.

So where should you stand on these? Well... here's my personal opinion.

You must have your first tarot deck gifted to you

Personally, I don't follow this, and I know many other readers who don't as well. Whether this is a rule, or a myth that became truth for a while is unsure. But a large consensus of readers, have stated they consider this rule to be an attempt to gatekeep tarot. When I first started tarot, I didn't have anyone who would have gifted me a tarot deck, I was surrounded by family who would have viewed tarot at the time and possibly still would even in current day view it as demonic and that I was a Satan worshiper or delving into and practicing witchcraft. At the time, this myth was really floating around and being taken seriously, when I began practicing, I wanted to do everything perfectly and that I should obey any rules possible, including this one. However I ended up coming across my first deck, and instantly knew I couldn't leave without it. No one would buy it for me, that was out of the question, but I realized that there was nothing saying anywhere that you can't gift yourself a deck, and that's exactly what I did, I gifted myself my first deck.

You can't ask the same question twice

I honestly don't know where this one came from, or started but honestly I know a few people who follow this and others who don't and see no issue with it. The only thing with this one that I've seen, that would make sense is that by constantly asking the same question over and over (aka: nagging) you will eventually end up getting the answer you want, which makes sense ultimately, and you can make poor decisions simply because of it (which at that point why even use tarot if you already know the answer you want and your not going to accept any other answer?)

Sleeping with your deck under your pillow will help you bond with the cards

So personally I don't know how true this one is, I know that through personal experience I would hide my first deck under my pillow and I was very close with this deck, now whether that's because it was my first deck or because I slept with it under my pillow could be debated. But I honestly think this may be the same type of thinking as placing crystals or herbs under your pillow at night to inspire better sleeping patterns/get rid of nightmares. Now whether these things actually work or its psychosomatic is up in the air. Personally, if it helps me sleep then I like to believe in it and it isn't ultimately hurting anyone if I believe in it. So if it helps you bond with your cards go ahead! But I will say I do have multiple decks, and other than my first I do not sleep with any of them in my bed and I'm still close with all of my decks.

The death, devil, and similar cards are evil and ultimately mean your life is horrible and falling apart and there's nothing you can do.

This one is always a belief within tarot that has shocked me, ultimately at the end of the day, these cards are not evil. While some cards can signify change and people are afraid of change or aren't prepared for it, most of the time these cards do not mean that you or a loved one is going to die, your life is completely horrible and is going to fall apart, or that you dance with the "devil". These cards all have their own meaning past the entitle title and having fear of these cards will ultimately lead you to being afraid to correctly interpret the messages these cards have to tell you. This belief alone in tarot, helps to inspire fear of tarot and contributes to the belief that it is evil, similar to how there is the belief that ouija boards are evil and downright terrible. At the end of the day, tarot and oujia boards are divination tools, it boils down to how you personally use the tools and your actions from that which make them evil or not evil. A hammer isn't necessarily evil, but if it's someone's choice murder tool we don't consider the hammer the evil influence we consider the person who used that tool to be evil, the same goes for divination tools, including aspects of those tools which are less then favorable.

You need to put all the cards back in the original order (0-22 for major arcana, and all minor arcana in order)

Personally, I've never practiced it and I don't know any other readers who practice this. While some people may find it a very meditating experience to resort all the cards, to me personally this rule doesn't make sense. You're only going to reshuffle the cards again, and if you do this for multiple readings you're ultimately spending a lot of time in between readings to resort. In doing so, one point I'd like to point out is that those who follow this rule more than likely put cards "right side up" back into the deck, which could ultimately end up preventing you from getting the message you need too.

A card reversed is ultimately a bad meaning no matter what card it is.

This is simply not true, a card reversed or its shadow meaning doesn't not inherently mean that something bad is going to happen. What this does mean is that, every card has a meaning, however when it's reversed it means that whatever the cards have to tell you they can't get the message across simply by the card being right side up. Just like with the death, tower, and devil card this belief that reversed cards inherently mean something bad is ultimately another fear tactic implemented upon tarot.

You can't buy a used tarot deck, or you can't use a previously used tarot deck

This alone, goes against the rule/myth that you must be gifted a tarot deck as some people like to gift decks they've personally used that they haven't connected with. There are people who believe this rule simply because of the fact that, there is the large belief that tarot picks up energy from you as the reader or those that you are reading from/anyone who touches your deck, because of this there is a belief that with a previously used deck that it may be "contaminated" with bad energy. However, you can cleanse decks, and it's typically recommended to cleanse new decks as well as decks gifted to you, and to cleanse decks before practicing anyways. With this belief, if cleansed properly then your deck should be freed of any bad or negative energy including your own.

You are not a real reader or you can't read for other people if you use guidebooks.

Personally, I believe this is just another method to gatekeep as well as a method to keep beginning tarot readers from "stealing" clientele from more experienced readers. Not only do I know many experienced readers who use guidebooks, but I personally use my guidebooks as well. Now it is important to note that reading verbatim from the guidebooks for readings, is different then simply using them to reference off of. There are people like myself who have memory issues so using guidebooks is needed because we simply can not remember every little detail about all 78 cards, plus the added in differences that independent artists add in that vary from deck to deck, this doesn't lesson our abilities or our experience level. If you need to use guidebooks don't let that get you down or think less of your own abilities, if you read verbatim off of them try to work on branching past that work on using it as a base for your interpretation. If you don't need to use the guides that's absolutely great, and good job to you! However, remember that not everybody is going to practice the same way you do and some people have external reasons as to why they may need them. It isn't your job to police how every other reader on the planet practices, if someone is doing something wrong or is scamming they will ultimately lead to their own downfall.

You must let other people touch your deck in order to give accurate readings for other people/people need to touch or shuffle the deck in order to give a reading for them, or you can't give online readings without the person being there.

Personally, I believe this is a matter of opinion. There are readers who swear by the rule that people must physically touch your deck in order to give a reading for them because the deck then absorbs/becomes infused with their energy so then the reading will be accurate and if they do not touch the deck then the reading will not be as accurate. Then there are other readers who do not follow this rule, they believe that we as entities put our own energy out into the world consistently, and as the reader if you focus hard enough your own energy will be able to tap into that person's energy and be able to give an accurate reading that way. Within the last couple of years, we've seen a spike in online readings being offered on places like etsy, or social media platforms like tiktok. During the height of the covid-19 pandemic, it would be foolish to have allowed someone else to touch your deck due to the sheer fact alone that sanitizing a deck is fairly difficult as many decks are made of paper, so to sanitize them properly would be very difficult. Not to mention the fact that we would also be looking at a scenario where someone would be within 6ft of someone else and more than likely not practicing social distancing. The ability to practice readings online provides the ability to practice safe social distancing and protect individuals who may have a compromised immune system (the pandemic has taught us that even if someone with a compromised immune system, the elderly, or other individuals who would be at significant risk are present that some individuals simply do not care and would deliberately lie and put others at risk to get whatever it is that they want, and to assume that a reading or other metaphysical aspect would be an exception would be disingenuous not only to practioners but to those who may have compromised immune systems as well). Personally I believe that online readings, present a difficulty level just like doing a reading in person, and that because some individuals may prefer or have an easier time at doing online readings this irritates those who may not have this same type of ease at doing online readings, and they result to trying to tear down someone or gatekeep someone that they believe should be struggling as much as they are.

This is only a fraction of various "rules" that have been told within the tarot community that readers need to abide by. Ultimately, it is up to you as a reader to choose whether you want to follow every rule that is out there, a handful of the rules, or none of them at all. At the end of the day, many beginners may experience what experienced practioners have told were even similar to their own experience and that is that there is so much contradicting information out there that it can be overwhelming, a lot of the time many of these rules seem to come out of no where or have no tracable origin. Some have stated or traced some of these rules back to Romani culture, but whether or not there is truth to this lies with the Romani people themselves as they are the only ones who can speak the truth of their culture and whether there is any authenticity to these rules. As I said on the disclaimer, most of this is my personal opinion and I simply speak on my own personal experience, and I have no intents to gatekeep. This is just my personal advice for beginners.

[amane-by-together]

Hanafuda || Amane Yugi

(Part 2 of 10)

genre: fluff, school, slice of life, modern au (where all wonders live)

warnings: cursing, grocery puns

summary: amane yugi spends his school days skipping classes until he meets [name] [surname], a student from the other class, who was also skipping classes and eventually the two of them formed a platonic friendship. cutting classes and playing hanafuda together strengthens their friendship but soon unexpected feelings blossom between the two.

[name], for the first time in weeks, finally decided to take just one class for the sake of her attendance. In Amane's case, he almost forgot where he was seated but thankfully he remembered that he sat behind Yashiro Nene.

“Why the hell do I have to go to class, cheese and fucking fries.” [name] grumbled under her breath. “Just one whole class for this day and the rest I'll skip,”

“[surname]-san!” [name] frowned at her guy classmate (or does she even remember him) who was standing in front of the entrance blocking her way. “It's a rare thing for you to come to class.”

“Mind your fucking business you person I don't bother to remember.” [name] wore a distasteful expression to the guy so that he will know that she ain't interested in playing with him. “First thing in the morning and I'm already pissed as hell.”

[name] lazily made her way to her designated desk and sits down. Everyone stared at [name], who was currently confused why they had their eyes on her. She suddenly became uncomfortable. “What?” she said in a cold tone. “The fuck are you all looking at?”

In fear, everyone turned their heads back and continued what they were doing. [name] rolled her eyes, she didn't have any time to deal with their shit.

‘I'm gonna go out after lunch, I hope Amane-kun was there, otherwise it'll be lonely...’ [name] rests her cheek on top of her palm, looking at the board with an unamused expression. ‘I've been hanging out too much with Amane-kun, if only we're both classmates—’

“[surname]-san.” [name]'s thoughts were interrupted by her teacher's voice. She tilted her head waiting for another word. “Someone wanted to see you.”

‘Who tf—?’ The annoyed female stood up from her chair, she let out a small sigh. Who would want to see [name] in the middle of the class? Well maybe that someone would return something to her, the thing is, she didn't lent anything amongst the hundreds of students in the school. Then, who could it be?

“Sir, may I ask who?”

“Yugi from Class A.”

[name] blinked. “P-pardon?”

“He wants to give you something.” [name] swore she saw the teacher smirk at her. The whole class looked at [name] again but this time they were mentally teasing her.

Tsukasa's eyes widened in pure shock, he glanced over to [name] and smiled brightly. “[name]-chi is Amane's girlfriend?”

And soon everyone started to fangirl loudly. [name] facepalmed really hard muttering “Shut the fuck up.” under her breath multiple times. Her ears started to burn because of embarrassment. “You all must be mistaken.” she chuckled nervously. “We're not dating.”

“Hmm, then explain why I always saw you two together during lunch?” Tsukasa asked with a teasing glint in his eyes. [name]'s eye twitched in annoyance now that the younger twin seems to be supporting the idea of she and Amane being together.

“Uh, can I go now?” [name] pointed at the door wincing to escape the situation. “I can't let him wait that long.” She walked out of the classroom and saw Amane waiting for her outside with his hands on his back. Was he hiding something?

“Amane-kun.” The said boy had his head perked up to her direction, [name] went over to him and shot her hand up. “Yo.”

“Why is everyone staring at us?” Amane pointed at his finger towards the group of classmates peeking over to the two teens.

“Don't mind them.” [name] swats her hand. “Anyways, why did you call me?”

Amane gave her a small paper bag. [name] blinked twice and gently grabbed the bag. “What's this?”

The choppy haired boy's cheeks turned red and started talking in pout while looking away. “It's a bracelet...” he murmured. “They're matching bracelets, I'm currently wearing mine.”

“You bought this for me?” [name] resisted the urge to hug Amane, if only her classmates weren't watching her. She smiled, pink dusted upon her cheeks. “Thanks Amane-kun.”

“I-It's no big deal, really, but I'm glad you like it.” Amane sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck while grinning.

[name] placed her hand on his shoulder, stood on the tips of her toes slightly and whispered something on his ear. “By the way do you want to skip classes after lunch?”

“I kinda plan to do that so I guess it's a yes.” Amane whispered back at her.

“Yeah, we're definitely skipping again.”

The two of them broke down in a fit of giggles as they pulled away from each other. “Hey [name], do you have plans later?” he asked.

“Not really, why'd you ask?”

Amane's cheeks started to burn again, he gained a little confidence and looked at [name] in a flustered state. “Well, why don't we go somewhere else after school? Just the two of us?”

“Of course.” [name] answered. Amane let out a sigh of relief and smiled back at his female friend.

“I gotta go back to class.” Amane patted her shoulder before dashing off towards his classroom. “I'll see you later!”

“You too,” [name] had her hand slightly raised up. She let out a small chuckle and looked at the paper bag. “Amane-kun, you really are a wonder...”

She quickly switched back to her aloofness and glared at her classmates. “The fuck are you all looking at?” she asked as her classmates hurriedly went over to their desks. “Honestly, when will they learn not to meddle in a private conversation.” she murmured right before she entered the classroom

“I don't fucking get this projectile motion.” [name] was in a state of existential crisis remembering the physics lesson that they tackled during class. “Did I really skip that much?”

“In my case I only understood Earth and Life Sciences.” Amane changed his school shoes and placed them inside his shoe locker. [name] waited for him, placing her hand on her waist and whistled a little bit. After that the two of them started to walk next to each other. “[name]-san, did you notice that everyone was staring at you?”

“You didn't think it was you who they were staring at?” [name] scratched her head, her silver bracelet was twinkling against the sunset.

“Nope.” Amane answered. “It's definitely you, must be because you're pretty.”

[name] lets out a weird sound of disbelief and shock. Amane stopped on to his tracks as he realized what he had said. “I-I mean, yeah you are pretty, n-not gonna lie t-though.” he stuttered with a blush forming on his visuals.

“S-sorry.” It was [name]'s turn to blush, she looked down on her feet as her bangs were covering her eyes. “I-It's just no o-one h-has ever called me p-pretty before.”

“I-I always f-find you pretty so...” Amane can feel his whole face burning like embers. The two of them made eye contact and it felt like time had stopped between them. “If you like, I'll gladly call you pretty everyday...”

“Amane...” [name] covered her whole face to muffle her words. She felt so flustered and she didn't know what to do. Amane averted his gaze from her and blushed. “Screw you—”

“I'm sorry but I'm not lying.” Amane cleared his throat, an evident blush was still on his cheeks. “Let's go to the mall, do you want to eat some donuts?”

“Yeah dude!” [name] tries to lighten up the mood so that it wouldn't be awkward anymore. To be fair, Amane was on the attractive side in her opinion, she doesn't really find herself pretty but people have different perspectives anyways.

[name] wouldn't deny it though, Amane has nice visuals and...hands, they looked really soft and warm, she sometimes imagine what would it be like if they held hands. Other than that, he is an affectionate and sweet, then he turns into a sadist and a tease sometimes. “I never got to ask you this [name]-san but are you going out with someone?”

“I never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend.” [name] replied. “No one really confesses to me at some point so basically I'm single, must be nice having one though..” she mumbles the last part.

“I guess everyone must be blind...” Amane muttered to himself before walking ahead, leaving [name] clueless, and then she catched up next to the choppy haired boy.

“Amane-kun, I hope you don't mind but I'm gonna buy some groceries along the way.” [name] puts her hands behind her back. “After that, we can get some donuts and roam around.”

“Sounds like a great idea.” Amane reluctantly agrees with her. [name] wrapped an arm around his shoulders and grinned as he uttered an 'oof' from his lips.

“I love your gift by the way.” [name] raised her wrist in front of Amane to show her that she's wearing the bracelet. Her eyes widened in joy and pointed out the matching bracelet around his wrist. “And we're matching~!”

But then [name] flicked his forehead. “Ow!” Amane held his forehead while slightly whimpering. “That hurts.” he pouted. [name] let out a plfft sound from her lips, she reached over to rub his throbbing forehead.

“That's for excusing me out of class and my classmates started to tease me that you're my boyfriend.” she chuckled, then she switches to an annoyed tone. “Then your brother called me Nee-san just to tease me.”

Amane stifled a laugh. [name] puffed her cheeks at him angrily. “Oi! It's not that funny!” she harrumphed. She looked like an angry pouting mochi rather than an angry person.

“Hmm~?” Amane cheekily smirks at the latter, he leaned next to her to continue teasing her. “Nee-san~?”

“Don't call me Nee-san you idiot!” An irk mark appears on the side of [name]'s forehead as she reached over to pinch his cheek. “Honestly, you're such a tease.”

“Only for you~” Amane ruffles her hair making it messier than it is. [name] sighed asking how the hell did she end up being friends with Amane who is one hell of a tease.

After a few minutes of teasing and cheek pinching, the two teens arrived at the mall. [name] and Amane went to get some groceries first. “All of these bananas but you can't even notice my peelings.” [name] faked a sniff while putting the bunch of bananas inside the basket that Amane was holding.

“I don't understand why you needed six cans of sprite, can't you buy 7up instead?” [name] silently wheezed as she smacked his shoulder, earning a laugh from Amane.

“Shut up, I don't have—thyme for that.” [name] puts some spices inside the basket. She grabbed some bread from the bread aisle. “I also knead bread too.”

“I also have a grocery joke but aisle tell it later.” Amane added while laughing. [name] bursted out giggling, clutching on to her stomach. “Okay we better stop, the old couple beside us were giving looks of suspicion.”

“O-kale then.” [name] and Amane entered one of the aisles. “Grate minds think alike.”

“Do you live alone [name]?” Amane asked all of a sudden. He doesn't know any much about [name]'s family or background, heck, he doesn't even know if she had siblings.

“I live with Yako-neesan and my little brother.” [name] places some products inside the basket. “Why?”

“Just asking.”

“You seem curious about my family background.” [name] laughs softly while putting two carton of milk in the basket. “My parents are both abroad, my little brother and I lived in Yako-neesan's apartment, which is our cousin.”

“You're an older sibling?”

“Well yeah,” [name] beckoned Amane to follow her to the next aisle. “Maybe you can come over and play with him, he doesn't mind talking to older guys.”

“Did I mention that he wanted to meet you though?” [name] tilted her head towards his direction with a pack of strawberries on her hand. “You two will definitely get along.”

“What was Tsukasa like in class if I may ask?” Amane asked again, sure, even though the younger twin has a life of his own, he can't help but to be concerned with him.

“How the fuck should I know?” [name] raised her eyebrows and tossed the pack of strawberries in the basket. “I skipped a lot of classes so I didn't really pay attention to Tsukasa-kun.”

“It's like you skipped a lot than I did.” Amane sheepishly chuckles but he deadpanned afterwards. “But I can't get a damn thing about Maths.”

“I think we crossed the whole list.” [name] tells Amane with a thumbs up. The two of them went to the lane with few people. [name] whipped out her wallet when it was her turn to check in. “Omigod. Do I really have to carry them all?”

“I could help you carry them.” Amane suggests. [name]'s heart suddenly skipped a beat, she nodded slowly meaning that she needed his help to carry them.

“There sure were a lot of people in the donut shop.” [name] sighed in a low spirited tone while holding the paper bag filled with donuts. Currently, Amane and [name] were eating donuts with their backs against the wall. “Here's yours Amane-kun.”

Amane took a bite of the plain donut and started munching on it. They were freshly cooked so that's why it tasted good. “So [name], are you going to class tomorrow?”

“I was gonna plan to attend one whole class in one week.” [name] answers while eating her cream-filled donut. Truth to be told, she didn't feel guilty about skipping classes, it was only her escape from pressure and stress in school. “How about you?”

“I guess I'll skip tomorrow.” Amane took out a piece of his donut and showed it to [name]. “Want some?”

“Sure. Thanks.” [name] opened her mouth waiting for Amane to plop the piece of donut inside her mouth. He blushed at the thought of his fingers might brush against her lips. Amane plopped the bite inside her mouth which [name] ate it gratefully. “Here have some of mine in exchange.” she says while handing him the donut.

Amane takes a bite of the cream-filled donut. He glanced over to [name] and saw that there's a bit of cream near her lips. “Hold on,” he pointed at her face. “Um, you got some cream on the side of your lips.”

“Huh? Here?” [name] pointed at her face. Amane shakes his head since she can't see where he was pointing. He sighed and reached over to wipe the cream off her lips using his thumb and quickly licked it.

Amane smirked slyly at her. “The cream does taste good.” he said in a playful way. [name]'s face grew red at the sudden action that he did, he decided to tease her a little bit so he moved his face closer to hers. “You seem a little flustered~ hmm~?”

[name] leaned back and averted her gaze from him. “Well, that looked like an indirect kiss.” she protested while pouting slightly. Amane let out a light chuckle and smiled.

“Sorry, I can't help but to tease because you're so cute.” He said with a slight smirk and he reached over to lightly pinch her cheek. “Your cheeks are red~”

“Ok, that's enough.” [name] pried his hand off her cheek and rubs it a little. Amane stares at her in a lovestruck awe, the way she blushes and pouts made him feel like he just wanna hold her protectively in his arms. “I finished my donut, let's get going now.”

The two of them got out of the mall. The skies were as pink overlayed with an orange color that the sun was setting. Amane stared at [name]'s hand, he blushed at the thought of hold it. “[name]-san...” he came to a halt.

“Yeah?” [name] said.

“Can...I...?” Amane looked down while mumbling incoherently. [name] tilted her head in confusion as he waits for him to speak. Amane must have looked like a strawberry right now. His eyes meet hers as he gains a bit of confidence. “C-Can I hold your hand?!” he asked with a hint of embarrassment.

[name]'s cheeks turned red at the sudden request. She stared at her own hand and then his hands, for some reason his hand looked warm. “T-that was a strange thing to ask, I'm sorry—” Amane swats his hand in denial.

“Sure...”

“I'm sorry, what?” Amane's eyes widened. [name] turned away from him and blushed intensely, he looks at her hand. “You don't mind right? Me holding your hand...?”

“Mhmm...” [name] brushes her hand against his so that Amane would know that it's okay to hold her hand. Amane laced their hands together, tenderly holding her hand. [name] can hear her heartbeat hammering inside her chest. “You really like being coddled, huh?”

‘Her hand feels soft.’ Amane looked at their hands linking with each other. ‘They fit so perfectly with mine...’

“Shall we continue?” Amane asked with a shy smile. [name] hummed in agreement as the choppy haired boy gripped on to her hand softly, grinning at the female. “Let's take you home then~”

The two teens started walking together hand in hand, feeling each others warmth till the tips of their very own fingers. Amane mumbled something under his breath.“I love you,”

“Eh?” [name] didn't quite hear what Amane just mumbled.

“I meant your hands!” Amane blushed that he accidentally slipped that out but thank god she didn't hear it. “I love your hands——They're really cute!”

“Well your hands are pretty much gorgeous than mine, you have long fingers...” [name] raised their intertwined hands together in front of Amane and smiled softly. “See, our hands pretty much fit together.”

“Yeah...” Amane smiled contently, hoping that this moment will never end. If [name] continues to act like this around him,

Then, he would most likely to fall for her even more.

-end of part 2-

thank you for reading, be sure to like and reblog if you love this part~!

taglist: @closetwaffle @closetweebsmh

[memory-hoarder]

WARNING (LONG POST AHEAD)

I turn off the lights, scrolled my phone and clicked the Spotify app currently listening to (calming acoustic) 10: 05 PM, best time to unleashed all emotions that piled up from nowhere. I covered myself with a huge blanket and placed the laptop on my lap and decided to visit my page. I know, I'm being inactive lately but I'm doing my best to update my journal publicly to remind me of my long absences.

Tonight, I decided to post the questions I received a night before my birthday celebrated. I kept this on my file for a month now. Admittedly, this is the huge decision I made on my birthday. So, I asked a random people on my messenger lists - some are my work colleagues while others are acquaintances. At first, I am hesitant to ask for favor to anyone but I did. Well, I guess it was successful though I received different reactions - some confused and thought I was making fun while others are game on to sent their questions. Obviously, it took days for me to answered cos it turns out that I wasn't prepared myself for few questions that somehow affects me literally.

The twist here is I am not allow to send my answer to their questions. However, I can answer it through this journal. Which I described as bravery.

Here are some of the questions:

How’s Life? How’s Life?

A question that been asked me twice. Well, this year was the great sadness of my life that challenged me mentally, emotionally and drained me physically. Sometimes a mere struggle on financially. I’m doing fine but lots of times I seriously breaking down especially the trauma of what happened 8 months ago. But today, I accepted the fact and slowly healing me and appreciate what really God’s intention and plan for my life.

Are you happy right now?

Not sure how to put it into words but there is no reason not to be happy. Right? If you just appreciate the life you are living right now or even the smallest thing that makes you smile or giggle I guess there is no reason to be sad at all. Although, lots of times I felt happy, sad, angry or lost. But there are still lots of reasons to celebrate or be joyful too. I juts let myself felt all the emotions that life wanted me to experienced to remind me that I indeed exist. There are people who could bring me joy and sadness at the same time but all I know they are all part of my journey.

Have you ever missed me before we lost our communication? Do you consider me as true friend?

Of course, I do. I miss the old you the person who I genuinely treasured during my college days. And, you are one of the reasons why I indeed survived college. I just don’t understand why we both let this friendship died. Was it because we no longer catch up? But, how I hope building friendship again will no longer hard as I imagined. But, please know that you became part of my story. I always count on you whenever I am sad and confused. I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts because I know you will never judge me. Hope to see you again soon. Take care of yourself!

Why there are times you don’t have the mood to talk?

Because, I read my surroundings and I feel comfortable being alone not to isolate but to process my own thoughts with myself which my normal thing growing up and I choose this way - became aloof at times not wanted to talk to anyone or go out. It makes me sad to think only few understand my personality. However, I can't just normalize this because of extrovert people I knew. I don’t have mood to talk and I push away people closed to me because I find a happy place being alone. Its not sad or dark what it gives me is peace of mind that no on can offer.

Would you like to change your past or stay on your present path? Why and why not?

I believed majority will choose the past, we all wanted to change one thing that we regret of doing - apologies, goodbye's, places to travel, opportunities we must have and other important things we slip away that is why I choose the past over my present. One thing I am eager to experience all over again is my mom's precious life, only if I had the power to bring her back. I was just 16 years old when she died, and I think the years of her being a mother to us will never be enough. However, her life is a blessing and all the valuable teachings that she imparted on me and to my siblings will remain on us forever. How I wish for her to at least see as growing up especially my brother that she spoiled a lot, and for us to give back all the things she deserved. I imagined date her on a restaurant, buy her clothes, treat her to the salon or accompany her on the grocery store. I also wanted to visit the past to catch up with my high school friends – Mira and Jeno, I will never forget how they literally brings me deep joy and the reason I am early bird during junior high because of the dare. I just missed the sound of Jeno's sense of humor, I treated her more than a friend rather a sister and it broke me when I received the news that he's gone. I was not there for him nor visit his and mom's grave for years now. I wanted to comfort Mira, but I am too far away and impossible to have my own money for my flight expenses. What I did is to cried and prayed for his soul. All of the good memories flashed back once more yet I realized God might took away two beautiful souls in my life but I am confident they watching over and guiding me through life.

I am or was curious regarding James situation, did it ever cross your mind you regret James being your boyfriend?

In all of the questions I received this one hits me hard to the core. For everyone’s knowledge James and I are in a relationship for over 4 years now. Just like other couples we did fight over little things yet we matured and grow together. One thing I really loved about James Charlie is how kind and pure his heart. He helps people as long as he can even himself are struggling to live. Not to mention his over confidence that I am jealous of. I guess, because of how friendly and inviting his amour. Also, a talented one he knows how to dance, sing and imitate different kinds of sounds, He’s grammar and vocabulary are lit. He can also play guitar very well, draw portrait’s and even writing a poems. He knew, he won my heart through his creative abilities. I was also surprised how he interested over history of aliens, bermuda triangle, mermaids and what I consistently heard of the Pyramid of Giza, life documentaries and other related history of it. I find him sexy whenever he talked about some of it. Our age gap is never an issue on our relationship and I am lucky that he guided me on everything, considered my opinions or thoughts and when I freaked out badly which occasionally happened he handle me perfectly and I appreciated his temperament level during my anxiety attacks or whenever I choose to isolate myself him being shut off. He understood me in my own terms and be myself. Yet relationship will test your loved from one another, there were also things that I don’t like of him doing however James does listened to me. He listens to advises either coming from me or from other people that cared for him. He is a vocal person, that one thing that I fall for him is his sense of humor. I guess talkative and being clingy towards person is his nature especially growing up in a broken family. Consistent communication is a key. I remembered he told me that I was different to all the girls she dated on his past life. That I am out of his league, he doesn’t know that he is of out my league too but when I know him deeply he taught me lessons in life and felt his warm love. Over the course of our relationship he respect the limitless of our love language and he accepted and understood the love without intimacy is a different level of love and respect and from his perspective I wanted everyone to know that James has a huge respect towards me, my beliefs and reasons. How someone could wait for something that he can easily took away something on his past relationship. Our relationship is somehow changed us individually into a better person. Getting older, he became dreamer and goal oriented. I witnessed all his hard work, that he celebrated through silence. He wanted to build home and think of small business that will be our retirement in the future. How many kids we wanted or how many dogs we will going to breed. I guess, some people misunderstood James for so long, how miserable life that no one to talk and curse during your victories or failures? Friends and addiction in alcohol and other stuff are his way of escaped, escape from the reality that lead him to take his own precious life once. I know how difficult life for him way back on his early 20’s that he fought all his battle alone and how he overcome his depression and addiction without someone to lean on. And nowadays, everything makes sense to me that I realize being independent sometimes is not a choice but more on a decision. decision and accepting no one will guide you through your journey so you have to do it alone either it brings you sadness or happiness in a process, not to count living alone and make money all by yourself. I agreed he might do bad decision in life but that doesn’t mean his life has no purpose at all. Instead, God is confident that he will win this battle not for everyone, not for the sake of me or our relationship but for himself. As for our current situation, I know being with him and fight through the end will inspired him a lot. Yes, he currently working on his self and will prove to everyone when the time comes that he will be able to regain his new

life and continue living.

We introverts, tend to think a lot, like really overthink a lot. What do you mostly overthink and how deep? Deep, like does it leads you to think more negatively resulting to depression? (mild depression, maybe).

I overthink some scenarios on my head when it really affects my whole being and when every time I think of it, obviously it trigger my anxiety not depression I guess. I can recall one or two hard situations that happened to me, and I know it wasn’t me trying to act that way. I even punished myself and literally breakdown trying to hurt myself, call me freak or whatever cos now I asked myself too how I even allowed myself to did terrible things, because anxiety creeping on me and telling me to do it. But, mostly I think of is my future and myself – deep that it scared me a lot. I have lot of questions of this world that I keep on searching by myself until now.

Why it took for you to share your problems?

Honestly, when I’m having a serious problem I am not confident to share to anybody except to my family who already knew. It took too long because advises no longer work for me, I listened because it was normal people do – advise and advise. Maybe, it was me who are picky to share my problem with, sometimes people listened but never in heart. Not all people deserve to know your struggle and during your lowest times, I have my own terms of coping so you do.

How do you maintain your petite body? If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wow! I never see this coming. Well, I guess being fit is what I inherited on my father's side. They not so fat unlike on my mother's side. I have no limit on foods I intake in other words not your discipline person to look up to. I do eat carbs, junk foods and sodas is always on my list. I never worried if I am physically fit aside from walking Maxine during days off. I don't know how do I maintain this body I guess I'm never. Being fit actually is my insecurity. However, I do loved my body whatever what happen.

Well, if I had 3 wishes in life - first, to end this pandemic so that everything will back to normal. second, for James to have peace of mind and good health while waiting for the process of his case. And, lastly, for me to be strong, lasting patience and strong faith.

How would you solve your problems?

Problems is always part of lives. But, I believed it is always about the degree of the problem. Whenever, I had problem sometimes I resolved it in time but other times I need more time and space to think what will be the resort of it. And, pray for some guidance.

As independent being, how do you handle depression and anxiety?

Good thing to end all of this questions, I became independent when I graduated from college. I have to commute 131 kilometers back and forth from another city just to apply on my first job and the process is never easy at all. When you sent all of your applications form on each companies but never accepted It brought so much sadness, one point of my life I am eager to seek job because I used it as my coping mechanism to walked away from home which I did now, I walked away to protect my peace of mind especially having anxiety growing up and having this thing is hard as people imagined. You might only see darkness and feel of losing but for me, I guess for a year now I handled myself perfectly I never allow this condition to swallow me whole and affect my way of living. I reminded myself to keep strong and remain optimist and always protect my peace of mind at all cost.

.

I am 24 now strong and happy and leaving Haruki Murakami quote: "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storms all about"

[signofwolf]

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review

Series: Throne of Glass #7 Genre: YA, Fantasy Theme: Fae, magic users, war Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment Star rating: 0,5/10

Why did I pick this up?: I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.

[Heavy spoilers ahead]

To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.

Language

Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…

Dynamism

I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.

Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:

Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!

Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...

Time

Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.

Emotional loading

… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.

And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.

The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.

Characters

Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.

Romance

…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:

Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?

The pathos

I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.

Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.

Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.

Character deaths:

Let's make a quick count: main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12 secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish minor and total background: a lot more

Death count: main: 0 secondary: 3 minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)

Resurrections: 1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)

Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.

Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.

Logic or lack thereof

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!

And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ��My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.

(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)

First the ones that made sense:

Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)

The Khaganate army (also counted as one)

Galan Ashryver’s armada

Whitethorn fraction

Rebel Ironteeth witches

…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?

And there were some that did not:

Ansel of Briarcliff’s army

The Silent Assassins

Mycenians

Wild Men of the Fangs

Army of magical elves on wolves

And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:

Crochan witches

Overpowering and overreaching

Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.

In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.

Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.

Climaxes

IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.

Aelin Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.

Mannon Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!

Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq Lived happily ever after

Secondary minor and total background characters Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).

Good Scenes

That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:

Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.

[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.

‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book

I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.

But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.

For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.

Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D

instagram | goodreads

[wegoinncthardhours]

Crave you

Summary: Reader is needy in public but Mark refuses to touch her. Gives it to her just right when they get home.

Pairing: Mark Lee/Female reader

Tws/warnings: My bad writing, slight dom/sub undertones.

Word count: Around 2000 (will update exact count)

Almost in trance you watch Mark where he sits next to you. Closely observing his every movement, following his every gesture. He's deeply engaged in the conversation at the table but you find yourself distracted and you've been ever since he came to pick you up. Because he looks so good in that shirt that hugs his broad shoulders and lean torso just right, but you know he looks even better undressed. And you love to hear him get philosophical, talking about his music, the meaning of life and such but right now you would rather have him spitting filthy things in your ear. A bit less poetic yes, but way more primal. Besides, you're not really in the mood for poetic tonight.

You let your thoughts wander as you watch him. Scenarios plays out in your head; how those pretty fingers currently fidgeting with the salt tray would feel exploring your curves, how those pretty pink lips would look as they fall open to moan your name. And Mark must have caught you staring because now he's looking at you with curious eyes. Reaching out to gently caress your cheek, a soft "Hey, you good?" on his lips. So overwhelmed by all the sudden attention you don't manage to form a sentence, so Mark just chuckles at the confused expression on your face as he returns his attention to the conversation between the boys at the table. 

Not knowing what he's doing, not aware of how on edge you are right now, he rubs your thigh under the table. The small sign of affection is nothing new and would be innocent enough if your mind wasn't so clouded with these dirty thoughts. So your pulse rises, breath hitches when his fingers make contact with your skin and Mark definitely felt that because now he's looking at you again. He let's his fingers travel a bit further up your leg as he watches your cheeks turn red and your eyes flick down to the floor. By the amusement evident in his eyes you can tell that he's figured it out now. Figured out why you've seemed so off tonight. 

In the back of your mind you register Johnny saying something about ordering dessert and Haechan urging Mark to tag along. He tells them to go ahead, promising to "be there in a sec" and all of a sudden you find yourself alone with Mark. He keeps tracing circles on your skin as he speaks "What's going on tonight? Tell me what's on your mind, baby."  And that's almost cruel of him, because you know that he knows, but apparently he wants you to say it, wants to play the game. But you're beyond the game at this point and he knows this too, so you look up at him with pleading eyes, mouthing a "please.." and he just smirks. Because he loves it when you get like this. Desperate and needy for him. But he won't give in that easily. Mark retrieves his hand as he leans back, running it through his hair and then weaving it together with his other one behind his neck. His takes up a lot of space like this, thighs spread wide apart as well. He looks proud, powerful, like he owns the place.

Knows what he's doing to you when you whine at the loss of contact, your thigh still burning from his touch. He locks you down with his hungry gaze, surely undressing you in his mind and for a moment you wonder if the people around you are aware of the little game going on between you and Mark. You take a deep breath as you cross your legs, voice a little shaky as you speak "Please Mark, I want.." you interrupt yourself as you rub your thighs together, searching for some kind of friction. "Touch me." You whisper. And he almost gives in, because you look so pretty right now. Eyes wide and shiny with lust, pink lips slightly parted and chin a little tilted upwards, exposing your neck; an unconscious invitation. But Mark shakes his head "Right here? 'S too risky, sweetheart. You want me that bad, huh?" And his words makes you flustered, frustrated, because yes, you want him that bad and no, right now you don't care who sees because currently he's the only one who can put an end to your misery. So you keep rubbing your thighs together, craving his touch, feeling the heat that starts to pool between your legs and your pulse that keeps on rising until Mark groans. It's a warning. "You better stop it with those noises, baby. Don't want the whole place to know how bad you need it.." He mutters, causing you to harshly bite down on the soft flesh of your bottom lip, not having realized you were being vocal. He watches in amusement as you throw a quick look over your shoulder, making sure no one has heard your soft sighs. You see the boys making their way back to your table, laughing and talking loudly while their at it. You return your gaze to Mark "Please, let's get out of here."

And now you're here, outside of Marks flat. Said flat-owner is currently busy fumbling with the keys, almost as impatient as you now. When he finally unlocks the door you stumble in, almost tripping as you quickly remove your shoes and jacket. You're not sure where on the floor it ends up because finally Marks hands are on you, all over you.

He pushes you against the wall. Greedily squeezing the plush flesh of your ass, gripping your waist, tugging at your top as he mumbles "off". And you obey, immediately of course, so eager to finally feel his body against yours, just skin on skin. Your lips connect in an open-mouthed kiss, teeth colliding as you manage a small "y-you too". Marks shirt accompanies your top and jacket somewhere on the floor and you can't decide between leaning back to admire his body or leaning in for another kiss, cause God, this man is a work of art; every inch of skin, every muscle, every single bone so beautifully carved and chiseled. But he wastes no time as he dives in to kiss your neck, nibbling at the skin, rolling it slightly between his pretty, sharp teeth. You mewl and squirm, perhaps in pain but surely in pleasure too and your pretty sounds spur Mark on further. A groan is ripped from his throat. "What was with you tonight? You were all over me.." he mumbles into your neck. He nudges your legs apart with his knee. "Ready to let me touch you in front of everyone. Bet you'd love that, me fingering you right there under the table. So fucking needy, God..." And you just nod, only managing a soft whine in response. His hand makes it's way up your thigh and you gasp once, twice as his digits move closer to your core, throbbing by now. And it may seem a little dramatic of you to behave like this, to be so ridiculously responsive, but you've been craving this for hours and Mark knows this. Still he has to roll his eyes and mutter "I'm not even touching, calm down." As his hand moves up, up finally just ghosting his fingers over your center. "Jeez, you're fucking soaked." He murmurs, the grin on his face evident in his voice. And a string of pleas spills from your lips as you're close to desperation now, begging for him to finally give you what you need. Suddenly Mark abruptly removes his hand and you let out a confused whine when he spins you around and pushes your chest flush against the wall, back arched. And you're a little breathless because Mark just manhandled you like that and now he's lifting your skirt as you hear him unzip his pants and you let out a relieved sigh because finally, he'll give you what you've been waiting for. 

You moan when he presses up against you. You feel his erection against your ass and instinctively you push back even further against him, desperate noises falling from your lips. He tangles his hand in your hair as he mumbles praises in your ear, telling you how beautiful you look, filthy promises of how good he'll make you feel as he grinds up against you. And you can't take it anymore, all this teasing. "Mark, please just fuck me.." You manage, a little surprised by yourself as you're usually shy with expressing these things verbally. And he chuckles in your ear as he starts sliding your panties down your legs, you're quick to help him, rushed hands fumbling with the piece of fabric now soaked with your essence. You spread your legs wider, arch your back further and you can't help but moan when he dips a finger between your folds. And he groans in approval of how wet you are, how ready you are for him. Suddenly he plunges two long digits into your core and you gasp, so very sensitive. Your body's on fire, and you moan loudly when he starts thrusting his fingers into you. He whispers right in your ear "You look so fucking pretty right now, begging to be fucked. God you'll feel so good around my cock." His words make you shudder and would want to tell him to just get on with it then, but right now you're not really able to form a sentence. 

His fingers are replaced with the blunt head of his cock and you try to push back against him, but he tuts and holds you in place. Runs the tip between your folds, collecting your juices that are almost dripping down your legs right now. "P-please.." You beg and at last he complies; pushing his lenght into you all the way, your lips falling apart in a silent moan. He stays there for a moment and you gasp, so overwhelmed with the feeling of him stretching you out, of him filling you. You can feel how he's throbbing and twitching inside of you as he snakes an arm around your body, kneading the soft flesh of your breast.

You're writhing before him, just able to take it as he thrusts into you. He hisses when he feels you clench around him, thrusting into you even rougher. Your moans are accompanied with the obscenely errotic sound of skin slapping together and the wet sounds when his cock enters your center repeatedly. "You're so wet, baby. Take my cock so well." He praises, voice husky and dark with lust. 

You're a mess as he fills you again and again and it's almost too much, the way he fucks into you, his cock hitting that spot that makes you see stars with every thrust and you writhe before him, barely able to hold yourself up. You could be embarrassed, because you're already so close to coming but frankly you don't care because Mark is taking you apart with his cock right now and judging by his moans and the rhythm of his hips, he's getting close as well. 

He tilts his hips, just changing the angle of his thrusts slightly and your lips falls open at that, eyes wide and almost rolling back because you can really feel it now. Your orgasm is approaching quickly and you beg him to "Please, keep going. God, right there." So desperate to reach your high. Mark can tell by your breathless voice and the way you're squirming. "Yeah, you feel good baby? Are you gonna cum?" And you just manage a small "yeah" before your voice wobbles into a whine. Your mind goes blank as your orgasm is punched into you. Completely lost in pleasure, your legs shake and you moan uncontrollably, body thrashing as Mark holds you still while he keeps fucking you through it. "Oh yeah, baby, just like that." he murmurs in your ear. And you're slack in his arms now as he plunges his length deep inside of you, one hand thrown around your waist. The other tangled in your hair, yanking your head back roughly, and you know he's about to come undone too because he only let's himself get this animal when he's close to desperation. He thrusts harshly a few more times before spilling his cum inside of you. You feel how his cock twitches as his hot seed coats your clenching walls. He groans into your neck and you whimper and sigh at that. Leaning your head back against his shoulder, a blissful look on your face as Mark squeezes you tightly.

[ariespageofbreath]

Well, hmm...if that’s ok, can you do a Skele!Reader (If that’s ok) Meeting The skelebros the first time and becoming friends of Swapfell? (I don’t see much of skele!reader so I said, why not?)

Hello! Sorry it took so long, this did not want to be written! I found a really cute prompt and just had to use it, so i hope you enjoy it!!

Your friends dared you to jump into the neighbor’s yard from the roof, but you slipped and fell into my pool on accident, hello-

(it is very long, i apologize)

“This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” you lament, raising your sockets to the sky as you wonder what possessed you to accept this dare. You’ve done a lot of stupid things in your life, of course, but this? This might take the cake. Well, there was that one time, but! You’re not talking about that right now. Or ever.

You’d been ushered a challenge. It was pretty straight-forward: jump from their neighbor’s roof into their yard. You, being an idiot and also unwilling to back down from a dare, decided to go ahead and do it, because… why not? It sounded like fun. And it wasn’t a very far jump, so you’d probably be okay. Most likely. 

So here you were, crouching as you clung to your friend’s chimney. To get onto their neighbor’s roof you’d have to jump over, since… well, you didn’t really want to have to knock on the door and ask them if you could jump off their roof. You’re pretty sure that’d get the cops called on you. 

Granted, you’re also pretty sure that they won’t be too happy if they find you in their backyard, so… You suppose you’ll just have to be quick about getting out. If you even still do it. Which you’re not sure you will, at this point, because now that you’re up here and thinking about this you’re realizing what a terrible idea it actually is.

“You’re not chickening out, are you?” your friend goads, squinting up at you from their safe spot on the ground. They’re standing on the chair you used to climb up here, a phone in one hand. Presumably so they can get a good shot of you doing something dumb. 

Scowling at them, you bite down the urge to kick them off the chair, because that would be rude. But also they were giving you such a smug look… “No, you jerk, I’m not chickening out, I’m just… commenting on how absurd this is.”

They scoff, waving their hand. “Not any crazier than any of the other things we’ve ever done. C’mon, are you gonna do this or not?”

Ugh. Why do you hang out with them again? “Yes, yes, I’m getting to it. You’re so impatient,” you grumble, keeping to your crouch as you inch your way to the edge of the roof. One hand remains hooked over the edge, your motions slightly unsteady on the slant. You have to lean towards it to keep yourself from tipping over. 

Finally, you find yourself at the ledge, scrutinizing the distance between your current location and your destination. It’s… a little farther than you thought it was. Or maybe it just looks that way. You’re not sure. 

Either way, you don’t have any more time to waste. The neighbors could be home any minute now. Taking a rather unnecessary breath- no lungs to expand and all that- you slowly straighten yourself out, keeping your body bent towards the roof. You can hear your bones quaking imperceptibly, a clear sign that you’re more than a little nervous. Shaking your skull, you crouch low and make the leap, your soul lurching into your throat. 

Your feet hit the roof. Specifically, a patch of moss.

You’re stunned into silence as you’re pitched downwards, tumbling along the roof. You think that you can hear your friend shouting your name, but then you’re thrown off the roof and your whole world is cold water, and then your skull hits something and everything goes black.

When your sockets clear (a term you use very loosely because wow, your eyes are a little blurry and light hurts) you’re staring up at the sky, your body aching. Nothing hurts more than your skull, though, which you’re pretty sure might have cracked when you hit the bottom of the pool. Skeletons weren’t exactly the most buoyant creatures, unfortunately. You’d sunk straight into the water like a stone.You blink a few times, trying to get your vision back in working order as you heave a groan. Definitely not your brightest moment…

“Water you doing in our pool?”

Still blinking blearily, you slowly turn your skull (ow frick oh stars that hurts heck ahhhhh-) and try to see who's addressing you. Although your sight is still a little wonky, you can see that they're wearing a thick black jacket and a nice dark orange turtleneck, and their head is smooth and white, their eyes large and dark… Wait… is that? 

Indeed, as you concentrate harder on them, you find yourself staring up at another skeleton. Their face is long and nicely-angled, their teeth sharp and fierce-looking. They even have a shiny gold fang glinting in the sun and burning your sockets. Their own sockets are half-lidded as they stare down at you, face almost impassive if not for the slight quirk of their brow. 

A little surprised, you try to sit up slowly, cradling the back of your head as it throbs with pain. Definitely took a few points off your HP. "Uh… There's a really good explanation for this," you assure them, still feeling a little fuzzy. "But I can't… Really think of it right now… Do you have any candy? I feel like my skull's exploding."

They go to answer you, but are interrupted by the distant sound of yelling. You think you recognize your friend's voice. You're not certain. 

A moment later, another skeleton monster suddenly appears from the house. Unlike the first, they are short and stout and look very, very annoyed. There's a nasty-looking set of cracks over one socket and their sharp teeth are twisted in a sneer, gloved hands curled into fists. They've got a nice rest bandana. 

Their voice is decidedly not nice as they spot you. "YOU! YOU'RE THE TROUBLEMAKER WHO JUMPED INTO OUR POOL!"

Okay, first of all, ow, your head, did they have to be so loud? And second, "I wasn't aiming for the pool. Just your backyard."

...You shouldn't have said that.

"YOU WERE GOING TO BREAK IN?" the second skeleton demands, sockets hazing with angry red magic as they advance on you with clearly harmful intent. 

You go to scramble back but a hand grips you by the arm, pulling you to a halt. "Careful, kid. Almost dumped yerself back in the pool," the first skeleton mutters, letting go of you once they're sure that you won't back up any more, which was actually kind of nice of them but also the scary red one is right there you did not sign up for this-

You hurry to explain yourself. "I wasn't trying to break in or anything, it was just a dare, I was just gonna jump off your roof into the backyard here, see, but the roof is slippery and I caught my foot and-"

A sharp bone presses against your throat, killing any words you had left to say, and you stare up at them with wide sockets. Are… are they really going to kill you? Right here in their own backyard? This wasn't exactly the Underground, there were laws against that now, you really didn't wanna die-

The bone abruptly dissipates. The short skeleton makes a clicking noise as they stand back. "HOW STUPID ARE YOU? JUMPING INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S YARD IS TRESPASSING. I COULD HAVE YOU ARRESTED."

Oh yeah, that was just what you needed. A criminal record. Man, why do you ever listen to your friends? 

"HOWEVER," the skeleton suddenly says, shaking you from your dismal thoughts. They’re still sneering at you like you're dirt on their boot, which you guess is fair, considering the circumstances. "I AM FEELING PARTICULARLY GENEROUS TODAY AND I WILL LET YOU GO WITH A WARNING." They lean in close, giving you a nice view of their angry expression up close. You can't help but think that they have really nice red eyes. "IF I EVER CATCH YOU DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES. UNDERSTOOD?"

Loud and clear. You nod meekly and they back up, shaking their head at you. "YOUR OBNOXIOUS FRIEND IS RAISING HELL OUT FRONT. GO SHUT THEM UP."

Don't have to tell you twice! You hurry to stand, although this proves to be a rather bad choice considering how everything begins to spin. You don't even realize you've staggered sideways until you feel the tall skeleton catch you by the shoulders, carefully holding you upright. 

"Thanks. My skull is still swimming," you mumble apologetically, patting your savior on the chest. You've just noticed they're about a head taller than you. 

"Ain't it about time it got out of the pool?" They quip, but you stare blankly back at them, not quite understanding what they're saying. 

Very slowly, you reply, "It's already out of the pool. With the rest of me." 

…

"Huh," the tall one mutters, squinting at you. "You're really out of it."

The smaller one groans, rubbing their forehead. "PAPYRUS, WOULD YOU GET THIS IDIOT SOME CANDY AND GET THEM OUT OF OUR HOUSE? I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS ANY LONGER."

"Sure thing, bro," Papyrus agrees readily, watching their brother retreat into the house. They keep one hand on your shoulder as they turn you and lead you in after him, murmuring, "Let's get ya outta here."

The short one is nowhere to be seen when you get in, but that doesn't bother you much. Papyrus grabs you some candy and then brings you out to your friend, who fears nothing and is shouting bloody murder at the door when it opens. They promptly drag you away, cursing all the while, but you're not paying attention. As soon as you get back to their house, you crash on the couch and go to sleep. It's been a long day…

A week or so later you’re back at their house, a pie clutched awkwardly in your hands as they stare at you like you’ve just sprouted a few extra heads. “I’m sorry, you’re going to what?” they demand, glancing between you and the pie as though to ensure that they’re actually seeing it. 

Sighing, you say, “I’m gonna give them a pie and apologize. For the pool thing. Because that was a little rough.”

Their face scrunches up. “You really are crazy. Those guys are gonna destroy you if you go over there. Sans doesn’t like anyone except Papyrus and that kid.”

You have no idea who “that kid” is, but you’re guessing Sans is the short angry one. “Well, I might as well try, right? Look, I’m not asking to be their friend or anything, I just wanna apologize.” You give them a pleading look. “So… will you come with me? For moral support, if nothing else?”

They give a long, drawn out groan as they tilt their head back, clearly considering their choices. Finally they look up, pointing at you sternly. “Fine. But if those jerks start yelling at you again I’m gonna deck them.”

Fair enough, you suppose. You’ll stop them anyways. You take the lead, strides stilted as you make the short journey between your friend’s house and the skeletons’. Your friend stands back at the sidewalk, arms crossed and glowering darkly at the porch, leaving you to cross the last of the distance yourself. You hesitate as you come to a stop before the door, wondering whether you should knock or ring the doorbell.

Finally, you decide your chances of not dying if you knock are better, so you shift the tin into the crook of an arm and raise a tentative hand, rapping it against the door. Just as quickly you retreat, holding the tin tight enough to slightly crinkle the material. As you rush to straighten it back up, the door swings open.

There’s a kid staring up at you with dark auburn hair and the brightest red eyes you’ve ever seen on a human. They seem slightly stunned to see you, eyes wide and mouth parted slightly, and it’s then that you notice there’s a little… cat? Dog? Thing? Sitting at their feet- well, cowering behind their feet, more like, as they glare up at you in an obvious attempt to look intimidating. They look vaguely familiar somehow.

Awkwardly, you raise a hand. “Hi.”

The door slams shut.

...Okay. Guess you’ll just… Leave the pie here?

You wait a moment more to see if perhaps the door will open again, but it remains shut. Haltingly, you bend to deposit the tin in front of the door. Then you begin to back away slowly, waiting to see if perhaps something will happen, but… there’s nothing. Maybe the kid was home alone. Who knows.

When you give your friend a bewildered look, they shrug and gesture for you to get going. Well. This was a complete waste of time. A little disappointing. You weren’t even sure they’d take the pie…

“Hey.”

You jump slightly, bones rattling as you whip back towards the door. Papyrus is standing there, one hand in his pocket, the other holding the tin. “This yours?” he asks, holding it slightly higher to draw your attention to it.

“Uh,” you reply smartly, taking a few steps towards him so you don’t have to yell anymore. Your hand comes up to scratch the back of your skull nervously. “No. I mean, I made it, yeah, but it’s not… it’s not mine. It’s not for me, I mean. I, uh, I wanted to, y’know, apologize for the… the pool thing.”

He blinks at you for several long moments. His face is still impassive. He glances down at the pie, then up at you. There’s a slight shift in his expression, a little movement so small anyone else would miss it, but you were kind of an expert at reading skeleton faces. He looks a little nervous himself, now, as he averts his eyelights again and asks, “How uh… How’s your skull?”

“Oh…” Your hand drifts up a little further, where the crack had been. “It’s fine. Healed completely now. See?” You turn and gesture to the area to prove the point, then feel a little silly and turn back around. You doubt he wanted to actually see; he was just being polite.

Papyrus shifts again, transferring his weight onto the other leg. His free hand raises as though to scratch at his neck, then falters and falls back into his pocket. You can’t help but notice that it’s almost a direct mirror of your earlier actions. “Cool, that’s uh… That’s good.” 

“Yeah,” you agree with a huff of laughter, then lapse into silence. 

This is… officially a little uncomfortable. You’re not sure if you should just go now or what. He hasn’t moved either, so maybe he wants to continue the conversation? But what would you even say? He doesn’t strike you as a small talk kinda guy. 

“So, uh… nice weather we’re having right?” You idiot. You just said no small talk. You can hear your friend facepalming in the background. Fully deserved. 

Thankfully, he doesn’t have a chance to react to that, because the other skeleton suddenly stomps out onto the porch, the kid holding onto the back of his shirt. “PAPYRUS! WOULD YOU CLOSE THE DOOR, YOU’RE LETTING IN THE- OH.” His eyelights fall on you, a grimace immediately filling his face. “IT’S YOU AGAIN. WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

“They made us pie,” Papyrus comments, holding the tin out to Sans, who blinks at it in surprise. “For the uh. The pool thing.”

At this point, you feel like it should be capitalized. The Pool Thing. 

He squints. “...WHY?”

���To apologize?” you pipe up, forcing a smile as he looks at you again. “Because… you were right, that was really stupid and also… kinda illegal, so, y’know.”

Sans is eyeing the pie again like it might bite him. “AND WHY SHOULD I TRUST THIS? FOR ALL I KNOW YOU COULD HAVE POISONED IT.”

You can almost feel your friend gearing up for a fight, so you quickly step forward and hold your hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I swear I didn’t poison it. If… if you want I could, uh, I dunno, take a piece and eat it, and if I keel over you know it’s not safe! And, uh, hey, if I do keel over, at least I… won’t be a problem anymore, right?”

 It’s a weak joke, you know it is, but it gains a slight snort from Papyrus, and Sans’ face eases just a little as he considers your offer. After a brief internal debate, he gives you a brusque nod and gestures with his hand. “VERY WELL. YOU WILL COME INSIDE AND TEST THIS PIE. HURRY UP!” With that he pivots on his heel and strides into the house, the human clinging onto the back of his shirt. It’s… kinda cute.

Your head is spinning a little, unable to believe this very odd turn of events. You twist to look at your friend, who looks as startled as you. Tilting your head towards the house, you silent ask if they’re coming in with you. You receive a very violent no in the form of their rapidly shaking head and waving arms. Looks like you’re going in alone.

Inhaling quietly, you give Papyrus another tepid smile. “Well, uh… Bone appetite, am I right?”

Again, there’s the slightest shift of his teeth, a tiny curve of his sockets to indicate amusement. “You got some guts. Best get inside, Sans will ulna wait so long.”

It feels a bit too much like a thinly veiled threat to properly enjoy, but hey, bone puns are always funny. You take his offer, stepping past him and into their house. It’s a very nice house. You didn’t have a chance to really appreciate it last time, given how out of it you were. Very homey. 

Sans and the human are standing in their kitchen, with his foot tapping the floor impatiently. There’s a pie knife in his hand and a plate on the counter. “ABOUT TIME. LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH.”

Papyrus sets the pie on the counter and Sans cuts out a sliver with quick, precise motions. It’s dumped rather unceremoniously onto the plate which is then shoved at your ribs. You scramble to get hold of it, accepting the fork he pushes your way next. It feels a little weird to eat with all of them watching you, but you obediently take a forkful. It’s actually pretty good. Certainly the best out of your ten attempts. 

When they realize you aren’t gonna fall apart any second now, they slowly go to take their own portions. Sans is very loud in declaring his dubiousness that he’ll actually enjoy it, but he gets very quiet after a few bites and doesn’t stop eating, so you take that as a good sign. Papyrus and the human dig right into their slices, with the kid offering a few mouthfuls to the little monster sitting next to them. Papyrus even goes back for a second slice.

You’re not sure how it happens, but somehow you end up agreeing to make more for them… and then you end up exchanging phone numbers with everyone- including the kid, who you learn is actually Chara, which explains why they’re so familiar; how could you not know the Monster Ambassador?- and then you’re going back to your friend’s house in a daze. 

That was… not how you thought today was gonna go. But… you’re not exactly complaining.