#i have to keep reminding myself to give them reasons to like each other

[snowysosturn]

Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 28

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?

Warnings: Warnings will contain spooooilersssss, tension, angst, smut, p in v, unprotected sex dont doooo this people, fingering, orgasms heheheh

"I should go" he says quietly.

Before I can even process it, he turns toward the door and grabs the handle. He hesitates for just a second, like he’s waiting for me to stop him.

But I don’t.

I stand there, staring at the door as Matt walks out, my mind racing, my heart still trying to catch up. The room feels eerily quiet now, his words still lingering in the air.

He loves me.

He’s always loved me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, inhaling deeply, but it does nothing to ground me. A part of me wants to scream, to be angry, to remind myself of every reason I should never let him back in. But another part, the part that still aches when I think about him won’t let me.

I sink onto the bed, running a hand through my hair, thinking back to everything. The way he looked at me in Hawaii when everything went down. The way his voice cracked when he tried to explain himself. The way he stood in front of me just now, waiting, hoping I’d give him something, anything, to hold onto.

And then, I think about what Chris told me. Christina lied. She made me believe Matt had slept with her in Vegas. She knew exactly what she was doing, playing on my insecurities, making me question everything, making me run.

I let her win.

I let my pride and my pain stop me from seeing the bigger picture.

Matt wasn’t innocent in all of this, but was I? I never gave him a real chance to explain. I let my hurt dictate everything, let it blind me. And now, being in this hotel room alone, all I can think about is how he looked when he said those three words.

Broken.

Vulnerable.

Honest.

I let a sharp sigh out. Maybe I don’t have all the answers. 

Maybe I’m still angry, still hurt. 

Maybe it’s time to stop running.

Or maybe I should change the direction I’m running in.

The thought hits me like a volt of electricity, and before I can overthink it, I push myself up off the bed and race to the door. My heart pounds as I throw it open, stepping into the quiet hallway of the hotel. Without hesitation, I sprint down the hall, my only focus on getting to him before it’s too late.

I make it into the elevator just as the doors start to close, slamming my hand against them to stop them from shutting. A few people inside look at me in surprise, but I don’t care. I press the button for the lobby repeatedly, willing the elevator to move faster.

As soon as the doors slide open, I dash out, my eyes scanning frantically for any sign of him. The hotel lobby has a sudden surge of people, guests checking in, others walking past with their luggage, but none of them are Matt. I push through the crowd, ignoring the curious stares as I make it outside. The cold air hits me, but I don’t stop, I keep moving, my head whipping from side to side as I try to find his car.

Then, just as I’m about to lose hope, I see it.

Matt’s car is about to pull out of the parking lot, brake lights glowing red as he waits for traffic to clear.

"Matt!" I shout, running toward it, my voice desperate.

Maybe he doesn’t hear me over the city noise, or maybe he thinks he imagined it. But just as I reach the car, his head turns toward me, eyes widening in shock.

He barely has time to react before I reach for the passenger door, yanking it open and slipping inside. I’m breathless, my heart hammering pounding in my chest as I turn to face him.

"Just drive please." I say, my voice shaky but sure. 

Matt doesn’t say a word at first. He just stares at me, his hands gripping the steering wheel, his expression unreadable. But he doesn’t push me away. He doesn’t ask what I’m doing here or why I ran after him.

Instead, he shifts the car into drive.

"I don’t care where. Just.. somewhere." I say quietly, settling into the seat.

Matt nods, like he’s processing everything all at once. Then, without another word, he pulls out of the hotel driveway and into the city streets.

We don’t speak as he drives, the noise of us driving along the road filling the silence between us. My mind is racing, thoughts clashing against each other, but I don’t know what to say yet. All I know is that I couldn’t let him leave. 

Eventually, he pulls into a near empty strip mall parking lot. The neon glow from the storefront flickers faintly, illuminating the car through the windshield. Matt turns off the engine and leans back in his seat, gripping the steering wheel like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded.

For a minute, neither of us say anything.

Then Matt finally speaks, his voice rough. "I didn’t think you’d come after me."

I swallow hard, staring at my hands in my lap. "I didn’t think I would either."

Silence again. But this time, it feels different. He’s waiting, giving me space to figure out what I want to say. And somehow, I appreciate that.

I let out a shaky breath. "I don’t even know where to start."

"Then don’t" he says. "You don’t have to say anything. I just, I needed to tell you how I feel. I needed you to know."

I turn to look at him, really look at him. He looks exhausted, like he hasn’t been sleeping, like he’s been carrying the weight of everything since I left. And realistically, so have I.

"You hurt me" I say softly. It’s not an accusation, it’s just the truth. "Matt, you really hurt me."

His jaw clenches, and he nods. "I know." He exhales, looking down at his hands. "I’ve never regretted anything more in my life."

I bite my lip, feeling the heaviness of his words. The past week or so has been hell, running from everything, from him, from my own feelings. But sitting here, I realize something.

I still love him.

Matt turns toward me fully, his eyes desperate, almost pleading. "I swear to you, nothing happened with Christina in Vegas. Nothing happened with her in Hawaii. I don’t know what she told you, but it wasn’t true. I was drunk, yeah, but I still remember everything from those nights. I would never-" He stops, shaking his head. "I would never do that to you."

I search his face, trying to find any sign of a lie, but all I see is honesty. Regret. A kind of pain that mirrors my own.

I take a shaky breath, searching his face one last time. "Promise me nothing happened."

Matt doesn’t even blink. "I promise."

And for the first time in weeks, I finally let myself believe him.

Matt’s eyes search mine, his hand grabbing on to mine.  "I love you."

A warmth spreads through my chest, melting away the last bit of hesitation. "I love you too" I whisper.

The second the words leave my lips, Matt reaches for me, his hand cupping my face as he pulls me in. I don’t hesitate, I lean forward, closing the space between us, and the moment our lips meet, everything else fades away.

It’s not just a kiss. It’s years of hidden history, of love, of hurt and healing, all crashing together in a single moment. My fingers curl into his hoodie as his hands grip my waist, pulling me closer, deeper, like he’s afraid to let go.

Somewhere between breaths, Matt shifts, his arms wrapping around me as he pulls me onto his lap. I let him, straddling him without a second thought, our bodies molding together like we were made for this.

His hands trace slow, careful paths along my back, like he’s relearning every inch of me, making up for lost time. I thread my fingers through his hair, tugging gently, and he groans against my lips, sending a shiver down my spine.

It’s desperate, consuming, like we’re making up for every moment we didn't get to share. Like we’re trying to prove to each other that no matter what happened, no matter what went wrong, this still feels right.

Matt breaks away just enough to rest his forehead against mine, his breath heavy. "I’ve missed you so much" he murmurs, his thumb brushing against my cheek.

I swallow, my chest tightening. "Me too."

He pulls me in again, and this time, I let myself get completely lost in him.

His hands explore my body, tracing every curve and dip, while my hands hold the back of his neck. We’re desperate for each other, our kisses growing more intense with every passing second.

Matt's hands find their way under my shirt, groaning as he feels my bare skin. I can feel his erection through his pants, and it only fueled my desire for him.

I begin to rock back and forth against him, to let him know I’m on the same page. He starts to unbutton my pants, his fingers grazing over my sensitive area through my thong as he slowly reveals more. Once my thong is fully exposed, he paused for a moment, his eyes meeting mine. I nodded, giving him permission to continue.

His fingers push past the lace material and find their way inside me, and I gasped at the sudden rush of pleasure. He thrust them in and out, finding my sweet spot with ease. “Fuck Matt!” I arched my back, begging for more as he peppers my neck with kisses. But after a minute, I feel a loss of pressure.

“Get in the back seat.” Matt says as he removes his fingers from me. He watches me with careful eyes as I shift off his lap and climb into the back seat. He hesitates for only a second before opening his door and getting out, sliding into the back with me.

The sexual and emotional tension between us is heavy, thick with everything we just said, everything we just felt. His hand finds my thigh, his touch gentle, almost hesitant. I sit up and reach for his belt, unbuckling it. He pulls down his own pants before reaching for mine, ripping them off and tugging at himself before positioning his dick at my entrance. 

He pushes in slowly, giving my body time to adjust. But soon enough, he's pounding into me, claiming me as his own. I wrap my legs around him “Deeper Matt!”

The world outside faded away completely as the car rocked back and forth. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking in all the pleasure of this moment as Matt’s hand found my chin, tilting my face up to his as he dips to capture my mouth again, kissing me as if he could merge our souls.

Our cries of pleasure mingle together as we lose ourselves in the rush of passion. It was like everything was spinning around us, but all that mattered was the feeling of being completely and utterly wanted. The small space of the car makes every movement more intense, our bodies pressed close, no room for anything but the raw, pulsing connection between us. 

“I love you so much” Matt stays as his thrusts become sloppier.

“I’ve always loved you Matt” I reply, my breath unsteady as I groan.

The emotion and pleasure create a feeling in my stomach, a climax building ready to wash over me. We grab each other desperately, knowing we were both close to finishing. “Fuck Matt! I-I’m gonna cum!” I whisper, my back arching. 

“Wait for me pretty girl” Matt mumbles as he picks up the pace, drilling into me. I know he’s close as each thrust gets lazier. 

“Awww Fuck Y/n!” Matt groans at his own release, his pleasure etched on his face in a look of pure ecstasy. 

And with that, I allow the dam to break, my climax flooding all over Matt’s dick. We cling to each other as our orgasms subsided. The only sound is our breathing, syncing with each other, until my stomach rumbles, loud enough to break the silence.

Matt chuckles, his hand still resting on my waist. “Shit” he says, eyes flicking down to me. “I guess that’s my fault you never got to eat.”

I shake my head, a small smile forming. “It’s fine” I murmur. “I think I like how things turned out instead.”

He watches me for a moment, then glances past me out the windshield. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips as he nods toward something in the distance. “Well, I still feel bad. Let me make it up to you” he says, pointing.

I follow his gaze to a glowing red sign just across the lot. Raising Canes. My stomach rumbles again, almost on cue.

I sigh dramatically. “Fine. But only because I’m starving.”

He grins, reaching for his jeans, and I do the same, the quiet rustling of denim filling the space between us. We slip back into our seats, the energy between us still buzzing, something unspoken but understood.

As Matt starts the car and drives across the parking lot, I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. The weight that’s been sitting on my chest for days feels a little lighter. Like maybe things can be okay again.

We pull up to the drive thru and Matt leans out the window and orders without hesitation, listing my exact order before I even get the chance to speak. Chicken tenders, crinkle cut fries, Canes sauce and a cherry Coke. It catches me off guard, how effortlessly he remembers.

I glance at him, a small smile creeping onto my lips. “You remember?”

He smirks, eyes flicking toward me as he pulls out his card to pay. “Of course I do. It’s you.”

A warmth spreads through me that has nothing to do with the heater running.

Once we get the food, Matt drives out of the parking lot and onto the empty road. “Where do you wanna eat?” he asks, glancing over at me. “You good just eating in the car, or do you wanna go somewhere?”

I shrug, taking a sip of my drink. “I don’t mind.”

He drums his fingers on the wheel for a moment before asking, “Wanna go back to my place?”

a/n : Thank yous so much for being so patient and kind with me with how long it took to get this part up! my life decided to do a 180 the weekend but we're all okay now apart from me being sick now lol, but anyway.. 2 parts left..

taglist : @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel  @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @chrisstxrnsaxe @sophand4n4 @vickytaa @marrykisskilled @bxtchboy69 @yourfavsturniologirl @julisturn @sydneyylainn @sophia-77n @trevorsgodmother @sturnslutz @yourmother29 @girl24cherry @astronea @pinkdyit

[rabbitindisguise]

3k of slow burn shin/naguro written u_u it's what they deserve

Edit: omg wait I can write 2.8k in two hours and 8 minutes??? I guess the power of gay love can make anything happen lmao I usually only manage 1.8k

[hope-for-the-planet]

Trans person in the US. Bust some of the doomerism for me? Tell me it's going to be okay?

Hi Anon

Usually, I have boundaries for myself about keeping this blog focused on environment-related issues, because there are limits to what I can speak knowledgeably about. But now doesn’t feel like the time for that.

Anon, I will tell you that I live in the US, I am queer, my spouse is trans, and we have two young children. I am sitting right there with you in the fear and grief and every day when I ask myself “is there still hope” I find reasons to say “yes”.

They want us—all of us, not just queer folks—to feel overwhelmed and hopeless, because despair is a tool that keeps people from realizing their power and taking action.

They want us to feel so afraid that we lose our faith in other people and withdraw from our communities, because we are easier to conquer alone.

Do not give them what they want.

Hope is most necessary in the bad times. The ability to imagine a future that is better than things are now is exactly what gives us the power to begin making things better. Our community has been through terrible things before, and they did not lose hope or give up—otherwise we would not be where we are today.

When you start to feel like all the light is being blotted out, turn off the news, put away your phone, and go get in touch with something you love. Go outside and look at the sky, talk to a friend, listen to music, do some small thing to make something better even if it’s just cleaning your kitchen or picking up some litter around the block or returning an extra stranded cart in the grocery store parking lot. Remind your brain that you have agency to make positive change in the world through your actions.

I know it is really hard to pull out of the darkness sometimes. I know there will be days that hope seems like a foolish, naive thing, that despair and distrust seem like the only rational options. But hope is what keeps us alive. Hope is what allows us to save each other.

I wish I could give you a specific article or other source to reassure you that everything is going to be ok, but things are still too in flux day by day. I can tell you that people are already fighting back, in big and little ways, all over this country and the world. These orders and bills are being pushed by a loud but small minority—this is not how the majority of the country feels about trans rights.

Make a plan for staying safe. Reach out to your community. Find music, activities, podcasts, movies, whatever helps you feel uplifted and take mental breaks from dwelling on the news. If you can, find ways to get involved in making things better in whatever big or small way feels doable for you--it may help push back on the doomerism more than you think. And my inbox is open if you need to talk.

I wish I could invite you over for dinner. I wish I could look into your eyes and tell you that things may get hard for the next few years but that does not mean that your life can't still be full of joy and beauty and fulfillment in spite of that.

I’m right there with you. Let’s make it through this together <3

[bvidzsoo]

Take your breath away

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: werewolf!Jeong Yunho x werewolf!female reader

☾ Warning: nudity, quite suggestive at times (honestly, they are pretty horny for each other), cursing, unhealthy amount of subtle (or not) jealousy and possessiveness ☾ Word count: 28.9k ☾ Rating: mature ☾ Genre: supernatural creatures!au, academy!au, werewolf!au, omegaverse-ish!au, unrequited love!au...or is it?, mates!au, angst ☾ Summary: New beginnings are always scary, and you are no stranger to them as your family moves to a town called Nocturnal Parade, filled with other night creatures. You find lovely people here, a community, a pack to have your back, and even a best friend called Choi San. What you don't expect, however, is to find your mate, who wants nothing to do with you.

A/N: Hi, my lovelies, I am back! I know I was gone for a while, and I won't lie, I wasn't inspired at all and felt really depressed (some things just pilled up for me in these past autumn months and that mixed with seasonal depression have hit me hard), but I am feeling a lot better now! I won't promise anything, but I'll try to post again more often, and hopefully continue the on-going series I already have. Please, please, please, imagine Yunho in this one with long hair, like in the top-middle picture! And for those who have read my Mingi Preying on you tonight oneshot, I have some exciting news...this story happens in the same universe, sooo, you'll get more insight on everyone's character! ^^ (If you haven't checked it out yet, you should give it a read, the world building goes more in-depth there ^^) Also, important note to keep in mind: everyone in this story goes by the 'Song' surname since they are siblings! I hope you enjoy this story too, and a small reminder, your feedback always gives me an inspirational push, so I greatly appreciate hearing what you think of this oneshot! <3 divider ~ and because I might as well dedicate this oneshot to you for hyping me up and helping me out with it, I hope you enjoy it @hongjoongspoetry <3 ~

            No matter how long I looked, he’d never glance my way. I had gotten used to his constant ignorance, but it still stung. I couldn’t help it, it was the only reasonable reaction considering we were mates.

It wasn’t anything we had spoken about, let alone even addressed, but I had known since the very first time I had laid my eyes on him. It was the change of my pulse, the way the world seemed to quiet around me, my breathing which got shallow, my pupils dilating and my eyes switching to an orchid colour that seemed to persist as my heart thundered in my chest, loud, and overbearing as I couldn’t help but watch the tall man who people surrounded, his head thrown back and mouth shielded by his long fingers as his body shook from laughing loudly. Until now I had only heard stories of what finding your mate felt like, but now I knew the feeling. I didn’t need to read fairytales about it anymore, nor would I pester my mother for the nth time to retell her story about meeting my father. I wasn’t desperate, per se, to find my mate, but the worry of growing old on my own had felt like a mosquito always buzzing around my ears, unable to kill it since I couldn’t see it. The fear of remaining alone seemed to persist in the back of my mind, and based on my mood, sometimes it would make me angry while other times just really anxious.

While living in Colourful River, the big city from North here, finding a suitor for myself had always felt like a challenging feat. There were too many creatures and humans alike who were too nosy and pestering, and I had never felt like I could be truly myself around them. I didn’t have many friends, humans or creatures, and at first, I blamed it on my shyness. Then, I started blaming it on my nerdiness as school rolled around, then it was the thought of being too plain for anyone to find me interesting and approachable, and then I gave up on finding an answer and decided that perhaps I was meant to be lonely, like my parents. In the big city, despite having lived here our whole lives, it seemed like we never found ourselves belonging to a community. Living closer to the border, the cities and towns were inhabited by many night creatures, however, that didn’t seem to change much when it came to my family. Maybe it was because we were all quiet and reclusive, maybe it was because we had never truly felt comfortable surrounded by so much happening at all times. And that is why I hadn’t felt any type of resistance or regret when my parents packed up our things and announced to me that we’d be leaving for a quiet and safe town just South of Colourful River, far from the border and the humans.

Nocturnal Parade has been a place I’ve heard plenty of. I knew it was inclusive of all the night creatures while being heavily influenced by the clergy. After all, it’s the town where the first attempts at a civilised and united nation amongst the night creatures had sparked. The vampires had taken the initiative, better said the Petrova family now known as Bae, were the founders of said town and the party that now advocated for all the night creatures all around the globe, making our voices heard, demanding respect and inclusion. They were, also, the ones to end the hatred between vampires and werewolves. Thanks to the effort and constant hard work, the werewolves had complied and formed one of the strongest alliances known to mankind with the vampires, pledging to fight by their side, to honour and respect them if their passion was returned by the vampires. And the respect had been mutual, the Petrovas didn’t stop until justice was brought to everyone, until every night creature could live a harmonious and pleasant life. It was a bit nerve-wracking to know I’d be cohabiting in a place with such ancient and respectable creatures from now on. From what I had heard of them until now, I knew only the daughter and her parents lived there still, keen on carrying the town’s, but also the family’s, legacy.

I wasn’t afraid of the change, however, I was reluctant and a little hesitant to join the Academy that had ultimately become a symbol of our unity and equality between us creatures. Back at my old schools, which were just simple regular schools frequented by both humans and night creatures, I wasn’t very liked. Everyone seemed to single me out, even my own kind, and they hadn’t always been the nicest about it. I supposed they saw me as an oddball just because I didn’t enjoy chasing a ball in our breaks and would rather play video games on forums with online friends, than play pretend that I was part of their made-up pack. Which brought another issue to light. My family had never belonged to a pack. My father’s family had long ago moved to Colourful River, leaving behind their abusive and mistreated past, meanwhile, my mother’s family had always been tightly-knit but not inclusive of strangers. So, as the elders all died, it was just my parents and me. I didn’t have any siblings, which seemed to make me even weirder since most werewolves reproduced more than once as they preferred to have big households full of children. My parents rather enjoyed the peace a single child, like me, offered them. The less mouths to feed, the better.

However, my worries seemed to be in vain once I had finally arrived in town, and then at Wilden Pine Academy. The town was lively and buzzing with creatures at every corner, all of them friendly and lacking the judgement and nosiness of the big city folk, who always watched you with inquiring eyes, desperate for a drop of gossip. Here, in Nocturnal Parade, everyone seemed to respect your space and didn’t pry anything out of you, they were simply grateful that you had chosen their haven as your home. Moving here had been probably the best decision my parents could’ve made. I liked it here, living by the outskirts of the Haunted Woods was refreshing. I could go for evening runs whenever I wanted without having to share my space with other restless werewolves, who genuinely enjoyed sharing the running track with their friends. I always found solace in solitary, I could clear my mind when it got too loud in there. Runs were pretty much therapeutic to me, I quite disliked it when I was bothered by other rambunctious werewolves who’d howl at the night sky just for the fun of it, mostly to spook the humans that ogled us rather disrespectfully.

My aloneness, however, wasn’t chased away until the academic year started and I passed through the tall iron gates of the Academy. It was a sunny day and I was impressed by the heat despite being surrounded by vast forest, the drive a long four hours until the next town, which was Nocturnal Parade. My parents were probably more excited about me starting my penultimate academic year here than I was, but it didn’t bother me. I knew they wished I’d make happy and lasting memories here, unlike the lack of them at my old schools. They hoped amongst so many night creatures I’d find at least one person who was like me, or even if not, creatures who would accept me the way I was. I hadn’t been walking down for long the gravel path when my backpack was pushed off my shoulders as someone ran past me, only to pause once they realised their actions. My luggage was heavy as I had been pulling it after me, but the boy who I thought wouldn’t even apologise for bumping into me, turned and faced me with furrowed eyebrows and a small pout.

“Sorry, my parents always say I get too excited and lose my coordination.” The boy’s voice had been gruff, a contrast with his soft features despite his sharp face. His eyebrows were straight, his eyes small and dark, his nose petite and pointy, lips pouty and fleshy, his jawline and cheekbones both sharp and defined. His short hair and the razor cut in his left eyebrow made him look intimidating until he spoke or smiled. His lips formed a pout and his eyes disappeared as a dimpled smile formed on his face, brightening his features. He was a cute boy and I had let him help me pick up my backpack, which, surprisingly, he didn’t hand back and threw around his own shoulder instead, “Are you the new family in town? The Byuns?”

I nodded and then extended a hand for him to shake, “My name is Byun Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Choi San!” The boy shook my hand with excitement lacing his tone, “I was on a holiday when your family arrived in town, that is why I wasn’t able to attend the welcoming party organised by the Songs.”

“Ah, it’s fine.” I muttered as I had started walking again, San falling in step with me, “The party was rather…overwhelming. Not that I didn’t appreciate it, but I had never been surrounded by so many loving people at once.”

San chuckled under his breath as he seemed to carry his two duffle bags as if they weighed nothing. It wasn’t hard to guess what type of creature he was simply based on his appearance already. He was massive next to me, his shoulders wide and strong looking, his chest puffed out and back rigidly straight, his hips surprisingly narrow, but his legs well-worked. He wasn’t too tall, but he had almost a head on me. Besides, his spicy scent was strong and confident, a little bit too harsh for my sensitive nose buds, but not nauseating. And like the rest of the werewolves who had been at the welcoming party, I felt no malice nor judgement coming from San, just a lot of excitement and joy as he had led us towards the right wing of the Academy, where the designated dorms for the werewolves were.

“It might sound a little bit strange, but all the werewolves act like a big pack here in Nocturnal Parade, I assume you didn’t have that back in the city?” San’s perfectly straight eyebrow raised as he threw me a quick glance since we were nearing more students, and San was obviously popular. Everyone seemed to greet him, eager to gain his attention.

“Not really,” I answered San, walking ahead to pull the building’s door open for him, “My family didn’t belong to a pack, actually.”

That had gotten San’s attention as his eyes widened once we stepped through the threshold, the inside of the building just as grandiose as the outside. It was spacious with big windows, natural light seeping through and casting a warm glow over the space, “It must’ve been lonely, then. But fear not, the Songs will adopt your family quite quickly, if they haven’t already.”

I smiled, my heart had skipped a beat at the mention of the kind, but energetic family, “They have already, actually. They had pulled my parents aside before the party and told them that we were now part of the pack, of the family, and that the community would be there for us.”

San hummed as we went up the first flight of stairs, a small smile on his face, “Our community hadn’t always been as close as it is now, but with the Songs' arrival to Nocturnal Parade everything just fell into place. I don’t think I had seen them go a day without doing something for the town or for their fellow creatures—hey, which floor is your room at?”

And that had been one year ago, when I was new to the town and wondering whether San would ever again speak to me. Right now, however, as we sat in the Flower Field behind campus, laying on a blanket and basking in the late afternoon sun, I knew San wouldn’t go a day without speaking to me. Spring was finally around the corner, and so was the Spring Break every student was impatiently awaiting. One week back home sounded really nice right now, I never failed to miss my privacy. The dorms at the Academy were shared, and my roommate snored really loudly and whined all the time. It was hard to discipline the second youngest of the Song family, so the Academy’s ruling board decided to place her with someone older than her, more mature, and possibly a good influence on the fiery blonde who liked to wreak havoc wherever she went. Not in our shared room, though, I had laid down some ground rules after rooming with Song Yeri. No loudness nor messiness was allowed, and of course, she couldn’t bring back boys into our shared room. As long as I didn’t, she wasn’t allowed either. She wasn’t thrilled by the idea, but because her parents had gotten really close with mine over the past year, Yeri was forced to abide by the rules out of fear of me ratting her out to her loving, but unforgiving, parents.

The air was still chilly and you’d become cold if you sat in one spot for too long, but the bodies of werewolves were warmer, our blood hotter, almost to the point of boiling in our veins. My cheeks were rosy as I sat with my legs crossed, a book in my lap as San hummed a silent tune next to me, laying on his stomach as he solved equations. He was planning on leaving for the big city to pursue further education, but he promised to return once he was done with it. He aspired to teach at Wilden Pine Academy, and I was more than eager to be his number-one supporter. He was great with children, and even those older seemed to respect him. San had a demanding aura, and despite him never taking advantage of that, he did know when he had to put his foot down and stop someone from running all over him. Being friends with San had showed me the wonders of companionship, of what a natural and gentle, but platonic, love felt like. I could share whatever was on my mind, at any given time, and San would be there to listen, and even take my ideas further beyond my imagination.

He was a driving force when it came to my creativity, always inspiring me and pushing me to do better and to go harder because I was capable of creating grand things. I wasn’t too sure of what I’d do once I was done with the Academy, but I could see myself being a novelist. It wouldn’t be easy at first, but if I remained diligent and focused on my task, I knew I could do it—at least San had told me so, he was kind like that. Whenever I felt insecure about something, he picked me up and changed my mind about it in mere minutes, grinning from ear to ear as his eyes twinkled. If kindness had a definition, it should’ve simply said Choi San, and I was sure everyone would understand why. The serenity surrounding us, however, didn’t last for long as a squeal of my best friend’s name echoed around the blooming flowery field. San’s body tensed for just a second before he turned onto his back, sitting up as he leaned back on his hands, looking towards the boy he was too scared to confess his true feelings to.

“Sannie!” With little regard for those around him, Wooyoung threw himself at San, tackling him back down into the blanket as San groaned, the back of his head colliding with the hard ground, “Stop doing your homework and come on a run with me, hmm?”

Wooyoung was a charming young man, mischievous and painfully loud, but he had good intentions. If I ignored him always trying to sway San away from studying, then yes, he did mostly have good intentions. I shifted a bit since Wooyoung’s leg dug painfully into my hip, who was still ignoring my presence as he blinked at San slowly, placing his hands on my best friend’s firm chest as San tried to stabilise Wooyoung by holding onto his waist.

“I have a bit of homework still to do, though.” San’s voice was quiet as the sun shone down on the two friends, and I smiled to myself as I went back to reading my book, “Could you wait for half an hour?”

“But I’ve been waiting all day for you.” I could hear the pout in Wooyoung’s voice, breathy and whiny as I chuckled under my breath, eyes focusing on the words in my book. It was jarring how alike Yeri and him were at times.

“Then you can wait a bit longer.” San’s tone wasn’t harsh, but it was chastising a bit, and it made Wooyoung groan as I smiled to myself, amused by their antics. I was sure that if I could hear San’s slight change of heartbeat, the spiciness of his scent spiking too, then Wooyoung was aware of it too. Sometimes I wondered how the latter didn’t realise San’s obvious feelings for him, but I suppose Wooyoung wasn’t a very observant person, unlike his older brother, Mingi.

“Can I stay though—” Then I felt eyes on myself and I heard shuffling around, Wooyoung finally removed himself from on top of San, “Oh, hey, Y/N. What are you doing?”

“Reading,” I muttered as I flipped the page, bored by the story but knowing I had just two days to finish reading the remaining two hundred pages.

“Is it for Literature class?” Wooyoung pressed, coming closer as he hovered over my shoulder, “Yunho’s been complaining about how shitty the book was, something about the story being too slow-paced and the side love story not making too much sense.”

I hummed, completely agreeing with Yunho, who shared a Literature class with me. At the same time, I was beyond grateful that I had learned to control my reactions at the mention of Song Yunho, who had looked my way a total of three times ever since I had arrived to Nocturnal Parade. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong to be brushed off so blatantly by him, but it hurt. It had hurt a lot more in the beginning, but I had gotten used to the feeling of dejection and disappointment that followed whenever we crossed paths. I didn’t understand whether I had upset him or not, considering that our first encounter had gone rather well. To me, it had gone more than well, but maybe Yunho didn’t share the sentiment. Almost as if summoned by some deity, I didn’t have to look to know he was approaching us. My body knew upon a simple whiff of the air, the earthy and intense scent of firewood and vanilla making my lungs feel like they couldn’t expand anymore to breathe in deeper, my skin covered in goosebumps as the world seemed to quieten around me in his presence. Yunho’s tall shadow was looming over us as he stopped at the foot of the blanket, his question directed at Wooyoung.

“Did you take my cologne, again, Wooyoung?” He didn’t sound angry, but his tone was demanding. I heard Wooyoung scoff next to me as he sat mirroring my position, looking up at his brother with a defying look in his eyes.

“No, I don’t like its scent.” Wooyoung was bad at lying, especially when we had heightened and sensitive senses and he was reeking of Yunho’s sandalwood essence cologne.

“Sure, where did you put it? I need it.” I didn’t have to look to see Yunho roll his eyes, I continued feigning that I was reading the book, but my eyes were stuck on the same sentence as I read it over and over again, the words not registering in my mind. It was hard to focus when Yunho was around.  

“Are you going on a date, or what’s the rush?” I willed my heartbeat to remain steady at Wooyoung’s teasing question, to bite back the whine that threatened to leave my lips. I had no right to make claims over Yunho, but my wolf seemed to struggle to understand that. We weren’t mated, and we’d probably never be with how Yunho disregards my existence.

“Where is it, Wooyoung?” Yunho had lost his patience as his voice had an edge, his shadow still looming over us as I heard San fidget around as he turned onto his stomach to continue his homework.

“In Mingi’s bottom drawer, by the bed, where he keeps his condoms—”

“Alright.” Yunho’s tone raised, a tired huff leaving his mouth as San snickered under his breath. I didn’t react but I would’ve smiled too, Wooyoung’s brutal honesty and oversharing skills, I fear, would never be matched by anyone else I’d come across. I had a feeling it was the same for San and Yunho too, “Stop taking my things or I’ll tell mom.”

“Stop being a pussy and always ratting me out to mom,” Wooyoung’s tongue was stuck out as Yunho leaned down and harshly flicked his little brother’s forehead, making him yelp, “I’m telling mom!”

“Who’s the pussy now, huh?” I couldn’t help the smile spreading onto my lips this time as Wooyoung started whining loudly as he rubbed his forehead, his scent souring just a little bit.

San’s heart skipped a beat and I wondered whether the other two noticed, but based on their glaring contest, I highly doubted it, “Whatever, Y/N’s reading the same book as you are. Didn’t you say—”

“I’ll see you at dinner, Wooyo.” Yunho’s sharp intake of breath made me gulp as I fought hard to not show my disappointment, I knew Yunho wasn’t interested in me, but going to the extent of not even wanting to hear about me definitely stung a lot, “And don’t bother Sannie too much.”

Don’t bother Sannie too much, but I suppose he could bother me. Not that Yunho had even noticed me lounging around on the blanket, despite Wooyoung being almost all nestled up into my side since San wasn’t paying any attention to him now. I gulped down the bitterness and growing lump in my throat as Yunho departed, his footsteps loud and heavy, the sounds of the world returning to my ears once he wasn’t around anymore. Breathing was easier too, but it was a bit difficult seeing anything written on the yellowing paper since my vision was suddenly blinded by tears. It was alright, I have heard of mates that weren’t fated to be together. Of mates where only one of them imprinted on the other, and was forced to watch the love of their life mate with someone else, forced to live and die alone, without having ever experienced true and honest love. It was alright, I wouldn’t know how to gesticulate a relationship either way. I gulped and blinked my eyes fast, willing the tears to disappear before Wooyoung could notice them.

The younger boy sighed loudly next to me before he rolled over, crawling on San’s back as he laid his cheek against his friend’s scapula, “Do you mind if I take a nap like this?”

“No.” San’s voice was deeper as we shared a knowing look, Wooyoung remaining oblivious to San’s racing heart as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment when I gave him a subtle wink. If I couldn’t find my happiness, then I truly wished at least my best friend would. He’d deserve it, San deserved to be cherished and loved like no one else, and I had a feeling Wooyoung would be able to provide San with everything he needed. If only he wasn’t so oblivious to San’s feelings, besides, I had never seen Wooyoung courting anyone, we had no idea of his preferences. Whenever San tried to bring up the subject, he’d told me Wooyoung would smartly twist it until they weren’t even talking about it anymore. Maybe he was avoiding it because he had noticed San’s reactions and was afraid to hurt his best friend, or maybe he was avoiding it because he had been feeling something he didn’t understand quite yet. It wasn’t taboo for werewolves to find love amongst their own gender, but I suppose growing up in a place where nobody was like you must be nerve-wracking and rather full of uncertainty. This only made me realize that despite the cons of living in the big city had its pros as well since I grew up in a diverse and inclusive place, open and uncaring of who loved who.

But if Wooyoung’s romantic preferences remained unknown to us, Yunho’s certainly didn’t. He was unlike anyone I have met before, starting from his personality and ending with his looks. He was the eldest of the family, a good few minutes older than his twin brother, Mingi, and so naturally he was also the biggest and strongest. He was intimidatingly tall and freakishly broad, his shoulders wide and his back strong. He wasn’t visibly muscular but I’ve seen him countless times lifting logs, and even heavier things, without breaking a sweat to know that Yunho was outrageously strong. His hair was a dark brown and it had grown out since I had first met him, now always messy and curly as it reached his shoulders, making him look more boyish than the first time I had seen him. He had red highlights in his hair a year ago, adding to his mysterious allure, as his lips were a soft pink, the apple of his cheeks and nose dusted coral, which was a nice contrast with his paler complex, unlike Mingi’s whose skin was a beautiful caramel. The twins weren’t identical, but upon a closer look, you were able to tell just how many attributes they shared.

Yunho loved experimenting with his style, and he mostly wore coloured clothes, all flashy and somehow still cosy looking, however, his shoes always seemed to be mismatched. It was a peculiar feat that had me wondering whether Yunho was just generally weird or he just had a particular taste when it came to fashion, I soon had realized it was the latter. His nails were always well-kept and painted either a turquoise or a yellow colour, bringing attention to his already beautiful hands, his fingers long and bony and mostly decorated by black rings. His scent, that earthy firewood and vanilla, was just as attention-grabbing as the rest of Yunho. If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve assumed Yunho was a very serious person, highly focused on his education, someone who spent his days cooped up in his room reading and learning all the time. But the Songs weren’t too focused on getting high grades, and that became apparent rather quickly after I arrived at the Academy. Yunho was a goofy guy, he loved having fun and he really enjoyed being surrounded by people, always eager to share a laugh with someone, or just fall into idle chitchat for hours on end. People seemed to gravitate towards him, eager to have a word with him. It wasn’t just him, though, students at the Academy all seemed to love the Song family, especially the twins who felt like fresh air in the dull and mediocre town that Nocturnal Parade seemed to be at first glance.

However, as mediocre as it was, I had never felt more at ease in a place before. It truly felt like I had found a community for myself and for my family, a place where everyone had your back and expected nothing in return even at the slightest of help offered. My parents loved it here, it was rather obvious since my mother was smiling more, the wrinkles were gone from her face, and my father wasn’t as stressed as before. Working as an archivist in the big city had been demanding, but in this quiet town where nobody was rushing forward with their lives, my parents could take a breather. And I could too, until I quickly realized I had been blatantly rejected by my potential mate before even getting to know them. The day we had arrived in Nocturnal Parade had been long and nerve-wracking, I had no idea what would await us in this new place. That same day, the werewolves threw a welcoming party for our family, eager to welcome us into their pack.

It was late evening by the time my family had sorted most things out at our small house, which was on the same street as the Songs and right by the Pinecone Forest, the perfect neighbourhood for relentless werewolves that needed a lot of space to get rid of their impulsive energy. The party was in the backyard of the Songs family and was full of creatures by the time we made it there. It was warm, welcoming, and felt genuine from the second we stepped through their threshold. The family was big, but each one of them was gentle and eager to meet us, even the troublemakers which were Wooyoung and Yeri. And after that, it didn’t take long for me to become once again invisible as I stood close to the drinks table in the Songs' backyard, gazing out towards the bonfire as the sun was about to set. The evening breeze was warm still and a light sheen of sweat coated my temples as I sipped my cool lemonade slowly, embarrassed to refill it for the fourth time. My solace, however, didn’t last for longer as I noticed two towering figures beeline towards me. Their hair was tousled and they looked like they had been wrestling before they headed here, and I felt nervous upon realizing that they were probably the twins Mrs. Song had been talking about.

They had been out on their evening run and would only join us later, and they were very much so headed my way to introduce themselves. My heart was racing and I felt nervous, but I willed myself to calm down since I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of two potential classmates once I’d started attending Wilden Pine Academy, which had been another anxiety-inducing thought at that time. The two guys, so very different in appearance yet so similar in mannerisms, sported matching smiles on their faces by the time they reached me. The one who was dressed in all-black and wore heavy jewellery had long hair which was pulled back into a half-up ponytail, his hair blonde and red, a rather cool-looking hairstyle. His features were sharp and his gaze was intense, but his open-mouthed boxy smile softened his features, his crooked front teeth endearing. The other one, however, was dressed in a pink crop top and high-waisted yellow jeans, one of his sneakers green meanwhile the other was turquoise. His hair had been shorter than the other guy’s, darker in colour too as it had red highlights, parted at the forehead. His features were a lot softer, his eyes rounder and warm, his cheeks puffy and rosy, his pouty lips a dark purple. His nails were painted turquoise and his jewellery was a lot simpler than the other guy’s, and I quickly realised that unless he was smiling, he looked just as intimidating as his twin brother.

But really, Yunho’s appearance wasn’t the first thing that caught my attention, sure, he looked unusual and made me remember the days when I was a lot younger and would purposefully dress up my Barbie dolls in silly outfits and organise pageants for them, but it was all about his scent and demeanour. The world seemed to dim around me when we had made eye contact, my arms and legs feeling numb suddenly as his rich earthy musky scent tinged with a hint of sweat invaded my nostrils, followed by firewood mixed with vanilla making my tongue feel like lead. My heart was racing and I couldn’t do anything about it as I watched Yunho’s pupils expand, his body turning rigid as Mingi remained oblivious to the subtle exchange between me and his twin. I had known that whatever I felt just upon a glance and a whiff weren’t simple reactions of my body, but when I heard his voice and touched his warm skin, all of my fears and worries were answered.

“Hi,” It was the slightly shorter twin that addressed me first, his voice deep and lightly raspy, “You must be the Byuns’ daughter, right?”

I wasn’t able to find my voice as I nodded wordlessly, hands tightening around my cup of icy lemonade. Thankfully they didn’t seem offended by my lack of verbal response, I could only pray they would assume my heart raced so wildly because I was nervous. I tried to ignore the fact that the taller twin’s heart was thumping even louder than my own heart, blaming it on the remaining adrenaline from his run, “My name is Yunho and this is my twin brother, Mingi.”

One large hand was extended towards me then, and as I grabbed it to shake it, I was positive Yunho must’ve felt the electricity that coursed through my body at the simple touch. It had felt as if my whole being was charged, as if I was experiencing the whole world for the first time. Everything sounded sharper, looked brighter, and smelled fresher. I could feel Yunho’s pulse in my own palm, his gorgeous eyes shaking as we stood frozen, gripping each other’s hands tightly. But upon Mingi’s awkward throat clearing, I ripped myself away from under the charm, and faced the guy with a small smile, “Nice to meet you two, I’m Y/N.”

Touching Mingi, however, felt like touching anyone else. My body was still tingling from Yunho’s touch, but I had felt nothing special as Mingi grinned widely at me, his handshake just a little firmer than Yunho’s had been. Once we released each other’s hands I was quick to down my lemonade, subtly trying to pat the sweat from my temples away, embarrassed over the fact that my scent was most probably spiking and irking them. But neither boy commented about it as Yunho’s deep eyes remained trained on me, tracking all of my actions.

“You just arrived, right?” Yunho’s voice was a lot steadier than mine had been, and I gulped, trying to ignore the sigh that threatened to leave my lips at the warm rumble of his tone.

“Yes, somewhere around noon. The drive wasn’t too long, though.” I hoped if I spoke fast and a lot they would blame my reactions on nervousness, “We’ve been looking forward to moving here, I’ve heard a lot of great things about this town due to the Petrovas and everything. I assume living here is rather good.”

The mention of that name seemed to make the twins grimace, but I didn’t pry and they didn’t say anything about it, “Surely it is, we’ve moved here roughly nine years ago, but it just feels like we were meant to be in this town, to live here.”

Mingi’s tone was earnest as he spoke and I smiled at him, my eyes constantly slipping back onto Yunho, who looked like he hadn’t blinked since the twins had reached me. I gulped and smiled softly at him, wondering whether he felt the same visceral emotions as I did in his presence, under his burning stare.

“I hope I’ll find a home in this town too, I haven’t been here for long, but it certainly feels a lot cosier than the big city had been for my whole life.” My tone turned a bit sour as I shifted on my feet, making the twins look at me curiously.

“You’re from Colourful River, right? It’s a big city, we always liked going there for random trips.” It made me wonder if Yunho and I had unknowingly run into each other before, but my inner wolf told me that we hadn’t. If we had been, I’m sure our parents would’ve never been able to separate us from each other, “It must’ve been nice living amongst humans.”

I tried not to stare at Yunho’s inviting plush lips while he spoke, but it was hard. Everything about him was so captivating, “Since the city is closer to the South than North, it isn’t dominated by humans, but they were rather alright, not as scared as all the legends say. But if you go up North they might not be as friendly as those living closer to the border.”

“Did you have human friends?” Mingi’s tone was eager as he grinned at me, and I didn’t want to disappoint him, but there was no point in lying to these two.

“I didn’t have many friends,” I muttered, chuckling a bit sadly, “But the humans were less evil compared to the night creatures.”

Silence settled upon the three of us as I didn’t look up at the two, but Yunho’s stare remained insistent. He had stepped closer meanwhile we had been conversing, and I hadn’t even noticed until his strong scent hit my nose once again, making me take a deep breath and gulp it down hungrily, thankful when it felt like the scent got stuck in my throat. I hadn’t experienced anything like this before, but the yearning to be close to him, to touch him and feel him was overwhelming all of a sudden as I looked up, finding Yunho’s head tilted as his eyes slowly racked over my body. It made my cheeks burn and my muscles tense, my wolf stirring in something that I could only call arousal. I have certainly not experienced anything like this before with anyone. I wondered if this meant anything deeper, whether imprinting on first sight was a real thing or only something made up for hopeless romantics.

“You’ll see finding friends here will be a lot easier than in the big city,” Mingi’s smile was warm and he reached a hand out to pat my arm, making Yunho’s eyebrows furrow as he looked at his twin sharply. Mingi just cast him a curious glance before his name was being called by his mother, her voice louder than the cacophony of the party, “Oh, I’ll be back after I see what mom needs from me.”

Then he left, jogging towards his mother with a smile. Yunho, however, took another step towards me, looming over me as his eyebrows furrowed, nostrils flaring as I gulped nervously, wondering whether he felt the same as I did. I wanted to ask, but I was embarrassed. He reached a hand forward, his fingers brushing against mine, but he seemed to catch himself as he took a step back, jaw set tightly. And then, without saying anything, he turned and hurried away, ignoring the people who called out his name. My heart raced as I watched him leave, suddenly feeling cold and empty. The wolf in my head whined and whispered at me to chase after him, to claim him and tell him that he was ours, but I couldn’t do that. Yunho had free reign of his feelings and thoughts, I couldn’t force something like that on him. We hadn’t even known each other five minutes ago, it would’ve been so wrong.

But what was even more wrong and more painful than anything I had experienced before was the fact that Yunho never looked my way again after that, remaining silent and avoidant, ignorant, he’d even flee the room if it was just the two of us. I didn’t even have the chance to have him before I lost him, and deep down, I knew I had been denied by my own mate. It was painful, but it wasn’t anything I could change, at least, it didn’t feel like it at the moment.

            With the Spring Break right around the corner, the hallways were liverier than before as students pilled together, eagerly discussing what they were up to once they’d return home. The professors seemed to be in a lighter mood as well, a lot friendlier too, and more understanding if someone slacked off a bit. Everyone but our Literature professor, who demanded we hand in our essays right before the week ended. Today was Friday and we’d be heading home tomorrow, I was hitchhiking with San’s family since they’d offered to drive us home as they were out of town and would drive by our Academy on their way home. San’s parents were busy businessmen so they were always on the go, oftentimes leaving San and his much older sister at home, who was a rather successful makeup artist in Nocturnal Parade and not just. She’d gotten an out-of-town offer just last month and the gig went well, so, she was now successfully expanding her business. But because I had been procrastinating my essay until the last moment, it meant that I had been cooped up in the Library this whole morning, and then later in the Study Hall as late evening was approaching.

My muscles ached from sitting in the same spot for so long and my eyes stung from being too dry, I had been staring at my laptop’s bright screen for an ungodly amount of time, if I wasn’t a werewolf I bet my eyesight would be horrible by now. Thankfully, the Study Hall was a lot less packed than usual, and the absence of students meant I could work in peace without distractions. That is until Yunho decided to walk into the vast room, eyes scanning the place and quickly jumping over my presence as my eyes burned into the side of his head. Of course, it was no surprise that I had been completely ignored by him once again, resigned, I went back to the finishing touch-ups of my essay. My heart ached and my hands felt cold now that I knew Yunho was in my vicinity, so close, yet miles away still. I gulped and willed myself to ignore his musky scent that seemed to haunt my every sense now, and I could’ve cheered when I was finally finished with the essay. I didn’t waste any more time sending it to my professor as I swiftly gathered my things and rushed out of the Study Hall, heart racing in my chest.

My muscles had been aching for an evening run and I knew I’d have to skip dinner tonight since I felt restless, my thoughts messy and filled with anxious whispers. Since most students were returning home tomorrow morning, it meant that the community would be organising a welcome home bonfire as soon as possible. The bonfires were great and I always had a good time, but it was inevitable to come across the Song family there since they were the main organizers of it. Just last year, when the Summer Break finally arrived, I had been squeezed between Wooyoung and, tragically, Yunho on a log, forced to endure Yunho’s rigid stance and complete ignorance as he chatted and laughed with everyone around us. My skin had been burning, not because of the close proximity to the fire, and my wolf was whining at me to touch him, to lean closer, to speak to Yunho. But I knew it was pointless, and thus, decided to save myself from embarrassment as I quickly excused myself and walked back home, rather glad that San wasn’t home to pester me about my sudden sour mood. San was a dear friend, but sometimes he was awful at giving me space, at understanding that I needed to be alone to figure my thoughts and feelings out.

That was why I never let him know when I’d go on runs, I preferred to be alone either way. The air wheezing past my ears, which were in tune with everything around me, was always freeing and relaxing. My jumbled thoughts became a silent murmur in the back of my mind as my paws hit the forest floor powerfully, strong and long legs carrying me far away from the Academy, from the campus, from any other possible wolf that I could come across. I liked solitary, it’s what I knew my whole life, it was comfortable and comforting. Whenever I let my wolf take over, it was as if I was reborn once I shifted back into my human form. I felt invincible as my burgundy fur gleamed under the setting sun rays, and I leered whenever another animal made haste in my presence. In my wolf form, everything felt simpler, more primitive, and less complicated. If I could, I would probably never shift back into my human form, but that was unethical and very unhealthy. I wasn’t a wolf, I was just a simple werewolf, and abandoning my human side would mean that I was going rogue. And lone, rogue, werewolves never survived for long. It wasn’t what we were designed for, so I couldn’t abandon my true self.

My run tonight had taken longer than usual, the forest was now dark as I returned to the shed that lay just on the outskirts of the campus, not too close, but not too far either in case of an emergency. I had found it on an early morning stroll with San, and I had been using it as my hideout ever since. It was a good spot for privacy while I’d change out of my clothes, away from prying eyes when I’d turn back into my human form, naked and unprotected. I wasn’t uncomfortable by nudity, after all, it was rather common and normal amongst werewolves to see each other bare, but I was shy, and thus, preferred to remain hidden from other’s eyes. San had joked once that I was a prude and old-fashioned, but I just simply wished that not everyone saw me so exposed, it was a tiny bit embarrassing even if it was very normal for our kin. So, the shed was the perfect spot for me to stay out of sight while being close enough to campus that if I was late for curfew I’d make it back swiftly and unnoticed, like tonight. I knew I probably had only a few minutes to make it back to the right wing, but as I had no devices on me, I wouldn’t know until I made it back to my clothes. San was certainly blowing up my phone by now, asking where I was and why I didn’t join him when it was quiz night—which only meant that I would question him about whichever lesson he had decided he didn’t know well enough, so really, it wasn’t a fun activity, but I loved San, so, I helped him out from time to time.

Taking a deep whiff of the air, waiting for a second to determine whether anyone was in my vicinity, I was glad when my wolf sensed nothing, so I nudged the shed’s door open with my fur-coated head and walked inside. The small lamp I had turned on cast a dim warm hue over the abandoned place, and I approached the table as I felt my bones shifting, my jaw locking in tight and my lungs constricting for a second. My joints popped and my head felt like it was splitting in two, but it all lasted for a second or two, until I was standing tall on my legs, hands reached out to stabilise myself on the table. Shifting wasn’t painful by any means, but it always left me a bit disoriented. The doctors in the city had told me it was because I was an early bloomer, my body forced to mature before its right time, so it wasn’t anything necessarily bad, just uncomfortable. As I regained my senses and shook my head to clear the dizziness, my muscles locked up and my wolf purred loudly, almost to the point it escaped past my own lips. Something was amiss. In the dim lighting, I noticed another heap of clothes thrown on the ground, just by the entrance. The scent too…it was familiar, too familiar, and I panicked. How had I missed it? Had I become so used to it that it didn’t faze my wolf anymore?

As I hastily tried to grab my clothes, nakedness be damned I’d get dressed on the way, the shed’s door was slammed open, a low grunt echoing in the otherwise silent space. My eyes widened as a gorgeous black wolf with orchid eyes stared back at me, huffing and puffing as saliva dripped from its mouth. It was big and strong, its vanilla and firewood scent a lot more permeating than before. My knees felt weak as my hands tightened into the table, holding myself up since my brain was short-circuiting. For a second, the big black wolf didn’t move, its snarl loud in the shed, but then, bones cracked and the black fur slowly disappeared as the wolf shifted into something more human looking, tall and lean, strong and…very naked. My eyes widened when I finally realised it was Yunho standing in the doorway, his eyes still orchid coloured as they bled into mine, and I was frozen as my wolf started whining, whispering to me to approach Yunho, to touch his hot and strong body, to entice him and make him claim us.

Yunho’s body was anything like I had seen before. He was alluring by all means, and the lower my eyes dropped the tighter my chest felt, the lump in my throat getting bigger and harder to ignore. I had seen many guys naked before, but they couldn’t compare to Yunho, everything about him was…big. My hands flattened against the surface of the table and I tilted my head before I could stop myself, well aware that my wolf was more in charge of me than my own conscience, my eyes a bright orchid as Yunho’s lips pressed into a straight line, his eyes not shy of taking in every curve of my body, his hands balling up into fists at his sides. It was hard to breathe, and it was even harder to control my bodily reactions when Yunho was so close, so exposed and vulnerable for taking. And maybe he was thinking the same thing because all of a sudden, we were moving towards each other, our eyes glimmering in the dim light and our chests heaving as I bared my fangs at Yunho, whose lips curled into a low snarl. I was so close to touching him, I could feel his body heat, but I knew I couldn’t. We weren’t ourselves just yet, the adrenaline coursed through our bodies from the run, and our wolves were stronger and louder than under normal circumstances. He would’ve been so easy to touch, though, as we stopped barely a few feet away from each other, desire written all over his features, but in a last attempt to find control over my body and mind, I snapped out under my wolf’s control.

I found my voice, but just barely, as my cheeks flushed a deep red, “I’m—I—I thought nobody knew of the shed, I—I’m, uh, I’m sorry for barging in. I didn’t know—I’ve never seen you here before, I—”

“Y/N.” Yunho’s voice was deeper than ever before, his round eyes dangerous as they were narrowed into slits, watching me closely. Just hearing my name said like that shut me up really fast as my heart raced in my chest, and I knew Yunho could hear it. It was so loud. I could’ve touched him, my wolf wanted it desperately, but Yunho wasn’t himself just yet, he didn’t look like it, “I’ve gone to this Academy for longer than you, of course I know about this place. Mingi and I come here all the time.”

I released a shuddering breath, forcing my eyes to stay on his face, anywhere but lower as I couldn’t trust myself and my wolf just yet. I really wanted to reach out and trace his firm muscles, to cradle him close to myself, to burry my face between his pecks, to lick the sweat beads that rolled down his navel, lower into his happy trail until they reached his— “You should go before Mingi returns.”

I jumped, mouth dry as I realised I was staring lower than I was supposed to, my whole chest and ears burning now, not just my cheeks, “I’m sorry.” I managed to mutter before I hurried back to the table and clumsily put on my clothes. I knew I looked like I had been mauled by how messy my hair was, my shirt untucked and one of the pantlegs rolled lower than the other, but I needed to leave before I’d do something I’d regret later. Yunho wasn’t mine, we weren’t mated, and I couldn’t do anything about it. But as I went to rush past him, he caught my wrist with frightening speed, his palm hot and large. I gulped but didn’t look at him, my eyes falling on the heap next to his clothes, very clearly Mingi’s now that he had pointed it out.

“You shouldn’t show yourself to just anyone, Y/N, it’s lowly.” The pang in my heart was more painful than anything I had experienced before. What did he mean by that? I had literally been on out a run, of course, I wasn’t showing myself to just anyone, it was only normal I was naked, or was I supposed to shift while wearing my clothes only to rip them apart? Besides, who had permitted him to say such things when he was the biggest manwhore I had known to date?! His words hadn’t just hurt me, they ignited an angry fire deep in my veins that had lay dormant for too long.

“Is it lowly shifting back into my human form after a run, Yunho? Really?” I chuckled humourlessly, my next words coming out in a snare as I looked at him with a glare, “You’re rather quick to judge me when you have no shame sleeping with half of the Academy, shouldn’t that be considered lowly?”

Before Yunho could say anything and before I could regret the words I had just spoken, I stormed off, flinching as I almost collided with a large white wolf, its head tilted in confusion as we stared at each other for a second. I gulped and averted my orchid-coloured eyes, “Hello, Mingi.”

The wolf huffed and bowed his head slightly, and despite wanting to flee, I pushed the door open for him as the wolf let out an appreciative whine, its eyes switching between Yunho and me once it was halfway inside the shed. But I didn’t wait around to hear Mingi’s questions as I rushed back to campus, checking my phone to see five missed calls from San and ten even angrier texts than the voicemails he left, clearly upplaying his sadness. I could hear Wooyoung’s witchy cackle in the background as he no doubt was playing on San’s new PlayStation. A quick text later, I let San know that I had lost track of time while I was on my run and that we’d see each other during breakfast the next morning. Sneaking around the dorms to sleep in San’s bed tonight would’ve been worth, if only my heart and mind weren’t in turmoil, aching all over again due to Yunho’s nasty and undeserved assumptions. I had no idea why he acted so differently with me, it’s like he was a completely different person in my presence, and I didn’t enjoy it. It hurt me deeply. What had I done to deserve such coldness from him?

            The ride home with the Chois was filled with laughter and sharing stories, the radio lowered once San and I started telling them about the Academy and our classes. San’s family had always felt like a second family to me. They were warm and very loving people, even if I had initially struggled to warm up to them, they had never pushed or pried for any information, no matter how insignificant it was. Thus, I came to trust them rather quickly since Mrs. Choi loved baking and would often invite me over during the holidays. Besides, I’d always leave with a basketful of whichever cookies Mrs. Choi decided to bake that day, and since my mother has a sweet tooth, she was always more than eager to send me over to the Chois to help them out. San’s parents' business trip was successful and they managed to expand their branches to the North as well, which would require them frequent trips to Aurora Falls, which was the biggest human settlement in our country. It seemed that there were human investors who were eager to expand their businesses to the South, which would benefit them a lot since their franchises were mostly nonexistent around here. It was a day to celebrate, which the Chois were really good at doing. I knew they’d smuggle in some really expensive champagne tonight to the bonfire, after all, they did everything with grandeur.

My parents had been lounging around the front porch when the Chois's expensive SUV pulled up in front of our humble abode, my mother’s face had lit up like a Christmas tree as she came to welcome me home, and the Chois as well. After quick hugs and kisses, the Chois were off and I was left with my parents, who were smiling from ear to ear.

“Look at you!” My father had said as he engulfed me in a bear hug and spun me around, making me giggle into his chest, “You’re radiating, what are they feeding you at the Academy?”

“Mrs. Nam’s cooking is really delicious, but I don’t think it’s because of the food.” I giggled as my feet had finally touched the ground. My mother stood to the side, my duffle bag already in her hand as she shook her head at our antics, “I suspect it’s the clear air and the vast forest grounds.”

“You’re still running on your own?” My mother’s eyebrows had furrowed as I walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulders as we headed for the house. The rumble of a loud engine reached our ears as we took the steps up the porch. I knew whose car it was, it was hard to miss when nobody else’s car engine was as loud as the Song twins, “Mrs. Song told me her sons had proposed to go on runs with you, but you’ve turned them down each time. I know we’re all still adjusting to living in a pack, but having company on your runs is actually very healthy for you and your wolf, my dear.”

I wished to correct my mother that it had been Mingi who had proposed to come on runs with me, no mention of Yunho. We had crossed paths once while we were both out hunting during a full moon and because my cramps had been really bad that day, Mingi was nice enough to remain a respectable distance away and guide me for the night, keeping an eye out for other not-so-kind predators. There were months when my shifting went a little haywire during the full moon, my senses dull and my bones all miss shaped. Again, the doctors hadn’t found anything wrong with me, they suspected it was due to my early blooming, which wasn’t helping much. As we reached the front door, my father already opening it for us, the honk of a loud car made us turn back and look towards the orange Jeep, its windows rolled down, and the younger Song siblings cooped up in the backseat.

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Byun!” Mingi called from the driver’s seat, all smiles as his glasses looked to be slipping off his nose. Wooyoung was just as enthusiastic as he leaned out the window, the car going at a slow pace now that they had almost reached their house.

“See you tonight, right?!” Wooyoung shouted as he grinned widely, pointing specifically at me, “Can’t leave Sannie on his own, right?!”

“Right.” My voice didn’t have much force to it as my eyes stalled on Yunho, who was facing the windshield, his jaw set tight as he looked at Mingi and said something inaudible. I released a quiet sigh as we stepped through the doorway, my parents sharing a laugh at the siblings' antics. I tried to ignore the lump in my throat, the fire in my veins, the ache of my heart. Yunho’s hurtful words were still too fresh in my mind, the look in his eyes and the vivid image of his body a constant image in the front of my mind. It wasn’t surprising that I was still thinking about him. We had encountered each other just last night, after all, but I wished we never had. It was hard to ignore the yearning, especially when we were back at home, forced to visit the Songs weekly since our parents had grown so close with each other. I was happy for them, don’t misunderstand me, but I wished the Song parents stopped blaming my ‘loneliness’ on being an only child, thus forcing me to constantly hang out with their children. I didn’t have any issues with the five of them, per se, but I hardly found anything I had in common with them—minus Yunho, since he wouldn’t even look my way, let alone have a conversation with me.

“You should tell San to sleep over tonight, maybe his parents can stay too!” My father’s words distracted me from my thoughts as I headed for the stairs, eager to fall into my comfortable bed, no Yeri to disturb my peace this time.

“Honey, they had barely returned home, let the Chois enjoy having their son home for at least three more days.” My mother gently chastised my father as she headed up the stairs after me, my duffle bag still in her hand, “He’ll sleep over before they go back to the Academy.”

“Fine, but I found a really cool book about genealogy, I’m sure he’d love reading through it.”

“Sure, honey, sure.” My mother and I shared an amused look which made us chuckle, my father’s mumbled words blending into the background as he was headed for his study room, surely eager to get back to whatever book he was reading this time, “Get some sleep before lunch, Mama Song asked us to head over before they set the bonfire, she’s making a new mushroom stew recipe she’d like us to try.”

“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled as I fell face-first into my pillows, groaning loudly as my muscles finally eased up, my body cocooned in the safety of my own scent. Finally, a little peace of mind.

But that peace of mind didn’t last for long. The Song household was buzzing with life and laughter even before the other members of our community had started joining the bonfire. The mushroom stew was beyond delicious, and if I wasn’t too shy, I would’ve asked for a second plate but decided I could sneak in sometime during the evening and have a second plate, I knew Mrs. Song wouldn’t mind since she was generous like that. Lunch went surprisingly well, mostly with everyone talking over each other, especially Wooyoung, Yeri, and Mr. Song, but that was to be expected. The Songs were very eccentric people and their household had always been chaotic. However, what did take me by surprise was the presence of a newcomer, someone who wasn’t a werewolf. Her hair was dark and fell in long curls, her skin pale and her eyes very sharp, her lips the colour of blood and her stance very elegant. If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought she hated us, but anytime Mingi looked at her she’d smile at him and her heartbeat would waver whenever he laughed. It wasn’t hard to guess that she was the Petrova heir, the youngest vampire of the Bae’s. Knowing so much about them, thanks to my father, sitting at a table with her now felt surreal.

She didn’t look like she wanted to talk much, but when my father’s innocent curiosity got the best of him and he started asking questions, she seemed rather pleased that she could gloat about her family. Her tone was sharp and she spoke rather straightforwardly, yet it was somehow obvious she didn’t mean bad. She was a peculiar person and I felt immense respect for her, no real reason as to why, maybe it’s because I thought she was very cool. I wasn’t brave enough to speak to her, so, besides stolen glances and a few shared glances, no words passed between the two of us. Besides, she was an amazing distraction to preoccupy my busy mind since conveniently Yunho and I ended up sitting next to each other. His body was warm, his scent almost tangible, and with every bite I took of my stew, it felt as if Yunho’s sandalwood scent was deep in my throat, forcing me to gulp down copious amounts of water as if I was sitient all the time. Yunho sat rigidly next to me, his body mostly turned away from me and facing Dahyun, his youngest sister, who looked absent-minded as she played with her fork, occasionally staring at Mingi if he made the vampire girl laugh. She carried Mingi’s scent and a bite mark was visible on her nape, it wasn’t hard to guess what she and Mingi were. Mates.

Thankfully, after lunch was over, San shortly arrived too and I could escape from the Song family, from Yunho, walking around the back garden as we searched for timber that would be good for the bonfire. Wooyoung, of course, came to join us and Dahyun was quick to do so too, with Mingi and Yunho busy setting up the back garden as our parents all helped. The vampire girl was busy in the kitchen, apparently, she could bake really yummy muffins, so she was busy doing just that. Once everything was set and people were coming over, Wooyoung sneaked off to bring us cans of beer, San cheering as we all uncapped ours, clinking them together loudly. The cold sparkling drink burned my parched throat as I wolfed it down, making San chuckle as Wooyoung was busy checking his friend’s free hand for splinters. I said nothing as a blush covered San’s cheeks, his eyes fond, as Wooyoung fussed about his friend.

“Mom said she’d leave us a little bit of champagne,” San grinned as he switched the hand holding his can of beer, Wooyoung’s eyebrows furrowed as his fingers gently traced San’s free palm, “It’ll be in the highest cupboard.”

“Only Mingi and Yunho can reach that high, though,” Wooyoung mumbled with a pout, still holding onto San’s hand despite being done with his inspection. I chuckled as San gave Wooyoung a look, his chest almost puffing out more.

“Are you sure about that?” He raised a straight eyebrow, leaning closer to Wooyoung’s face. I watched with intrigue as Wooyoung slightly caved in on himself, gulping almost nervously. His heartbeat remained steady, though, so I couldn’t tell for sure whether San’s proximity made him nervous, “Who got that stuck ball off the basket last time, I don’t reckon it was your brothers?”

“Well,” Wooyoung huffed, averting his eyes when San only leaned closer. I almost grinned when Wooyoung’s heart very loudly skipped a beat, but his eyebrows furrowed as he swiftly straightened himself, giving San a pointed look, “You can jump high. And I suppose you have strong arms, it was sheer luck, really.”

Before the two could start bickering, I chuckled and reached a hand out towards Wooyoung, “Won’t you check my hands for blisters too?”

Wooyoung seemed a little bit too eager to scurry off the log he was sharing with San as he kneeled in front of me, taking my hand into his. I chuckled and looked at San as I took a swing of my beer, Wooyoung’s warm fingers tracing lines as he hummed under his breath, turning my palm over, “You have pretty hands, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” I said, then switched my hands as Wooyoung continued to inspect them, a flush appearing on his face when San reached out to pet his hair since it was tousled by the wind earlier. It had settled now into a pleasant evening breeze. The chatter, music, and laughter coming from around the bonfire felt nice, warm. As I gazed at the fire, I was greeted by the sight of werewolves cosying up and sharing drinks and stories. I’ve never had this in the big city, it felt really nice to be surrounded by creatures that had your back even if they didn’t know you well.

Wooyoung chuckled, his finger digging into my skin, right underneath my pinkie, “Yunho has the same exact moles here too, on the same hand as well.”

My body froze as San’s eyebrows raised, he quickly scurried off the log to join Wooyoung crouching in front of me. I tried to keep the smile on my face, but the taste in my mouth soured as I looked down at the three moles that I’ve always had on my left palm, right underneath my pinkie finger.

“Really?” San sounded surprised and excited at the same time, “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Wooyoung scoffed as he gave San a side glance, “He’s my brother, I know him. He’s always said that they look like stars. Before our sisters were born, he’d said they represented him, Mingi, and me. Of course, the closest to the one he called himself was Mingi because they are twins and blah blah, sometimes this twin thing gets old.”

“You’re just jealous.” San teased Wooyoung as my eyes were stuck on the three moles, something in my stomach dropping. I’ve always said the three dots looked like stars and represented my family: my mom, my father, and me. We’d always be there for each other, close by, looking over one another. Wooyoung and San’s voices drowned out as they started bickering about whether Mingi and Yunho had a deeper bond than any other werewolf due to them being twins, but my mind was spinning with this new piece of information. It suddenly felt wrong having those moles there, especially since Yunho didn’t want to have to do anything with me. I gulped, retracting my hand from Wooyoung’s hold as I stood abruptly, taking the two guys off guard.

“Uhm, I’ll just see what my parents are up to if you don’t mind…” I knew my scent had soured, San’s furrowed eyebrows told me he had realised something had upset me. But I just smiled and patted Wooyoung’s head before I walked around my friends, my heart slightly racing as the chilly evening seemed to bite at my nose, making me sniff harder and harder by the time I reached my parents, who were talking to the Academy’s Principal, Mr. Kim.

“Oh, Miss Byun,” The Principal was the first one to spot me, and he smiled as my parents beckoned me even closer, “I was just complimenting you. Ever since Miss Yeri started rooming with you, her grades not only went up but she’s been better behaved too.”

“Oh, uhm, that’s great.” I tried to even out my expression, praying that my parents wouldn’t question my souring mood, “I didn’t do much, just asked her to follow some rules. She also asked if I could sometimes help her out with her homework.”

“Fascinating,” The Principal muttered as my parents looked at me proudly, making me feel a little bit shy, “I knew letting her room with Miss Son wasn’t too smart, those two gave me more headache than the ruling board does on the daily.”

The Principal’s comment had my parents laughing, the shared glance between them amused, and suddenly I realised I’d never have that. I would never have a mate that stood by my side, cosied up to me, spoke to me about whatever insanity crossed their minds, no shared understanding glances, no cheek or neck nuzzles, no unbreakable bond, nothing. My jaw tightened as the air spiked with sandalwood and vanilla, and I hoped it would pass by before the tears could spring into my eyes. But the Universe seemed to be working against me today because the Principal caught Yunho’s bicep before he could stalk off, his expression soft and his eyes questioning. He hadn’t noticed my presence yet, because I knew his round eyes would turn harsh and his pouty lips would pull into a straight line the second he noticed me. His outgrown hair was tousled by the breeze, long strands framing his face handsomely as they brushed against his nape, some strands darker than the others.

“Mr. Song, fancy seeing you.” The Principal patted Yunho’s strong back with a proud smile, “I was just telling Mr. and Mrs. Byun how your little sister has been improving both academically and behaviour-wise too.”

“Oh,” Yunho’s pale cheeks flushed with colour as he slightly bowed, I could see my parents practically fawn over him. He was handsome, too handsome, everyone around here was in love with him whether they wanted to be or not, “I know my siblings give you a lot of headaches, but if it helps, you’ll have to deal with fewer of us after this year.”

The Principal laughed as he shook his head, “Between you and me, I’d rather have you and Mingi attend the Academy for five more years than your younger siblings, although Dahyun is a sweet girl despite being odd.”

Even if the comment wasn’t well received by Yunho, his left eye twitched slightly and his smile looked a bit forced all of a sudden, he just chuckled and bowed his head again, “They’ll mature with time, Mingi and I did too.”

“Indeed, that is true.” Then the Principal was suddenly facing me, and I noticed the way Yunho’s eyes slightly widened as if he actually hadn’t noticed me standing just a few feet away, “You’d be surprised to hear that Yunho was unstoppable as a child, we had to sedate him more than once during his runs. He also struggled to shift back until he became ten, isn’t that peculiar?”

Before Yunho could interject, however, my mother spoke up to my horror, “My daughter still struggles to shift, being an early bloomer is really straining.”

“I’m not an early bloomer, though.” Yunho’s tone was a bit harsher, but I bet nobody noticed but me as his eyes bore into mine, his face void of any emotion. I sighed and looked away, trying to push the image of his exposed collarbones due to his unbuttoned shirt out of my head. His cheeks seemed unnaturally pink, he must’ve used some blush before coming down for the bonfire.

“Sometimes when mates—”

“I think we should leave the younglings alone, no?” My father cut the Principal off with a charming smile as I looked at him, slightly taken aback. Nobody knew Yunho and I were supposed to be mates, not even Yunho, I hadn’t told a soul. I doubt my father knows, he must’ve misinterpreted Yunho and my exchange as I winced and he just cleared his throat, sounding uncomfortable. Then, without wasting another second, my father was rushing us towards the bonfire, my mother laughing at something the Principal said as I turned to look at my dad. He was smiling gently and winked when he caught my stare, making me question whether he truly was oblivious to whether I had already found my mate or not. Yunho and I marched towards the bonfire wordlessly, and I flinched when I felt his warm knuckles brush against the back of my hand, but almost as if it was a fragment of my imagination, Yunho was beelining it towards a log on which a girl I didn’t know sat, next to her Yeri with a bored expression on her face.

“Yunho!” The unknown girl called out, making grabby hands at him. I watched as Yunho grinned and sat next to her, leaning into her space as the girl instantly flushed. My stomach coiled as I averted my eyes towards the fire, feeling its warmth slowly seep into my bones, but my muscles didn’t ease up, they remained tense.

“Did you miss me, baby?” I tried not to whine as my wolf told me to pounce on the girl and drag her into the forest and show her what happens to those who touch Yunho, but I would’ve looked completely insane if I had done that. Yunho wasn’t done speaking, however, and I felt eyes on me which made my skin crawl, “I got held up, but I’m all yours now.”

I tried not to feel sick as I chanced a glance towards Yunho, who was looking at me with a smirk. I could feel tears threatening to appear in my eyes, I didn’t want to look pathetic, however, Yeri seemed to save me from the shame, “Dude, did you get me a beer?”

“Of course, I did.” Yunho chuckled, finally looking away from me, “Just don’t tell mom or Wooyoung.”

“I won’t, chill out.” Yeri scoffed as she opened her can of beer, grinning to herself in triumph, “My room is yours tonight, then.”

They shared a look and I released a shaky breath as I had decided that I needed a moment away from everything. I knew everyone could smell my spiked scent and hear my heart thudding in an uneven rhythm, I didn’t want them staring at me, so I quickly hurried inside the house and headed for the kitchen hoping it was deserted. Maybe I’d find that bottle of champagne San was talking about and help myself to it, I knew nobody would mind. The kitchen was dark when I stepped through the archway, so I quickly felt around the wall for the light switch and gasped when light flooded the kitchen. When I got too into my head, I completely missed other scents or heartbeats around me, otherwise the vampire girl wouldn’t have taken me off guard. She tilted her head and raised an amused eyebrow as she nibbled on a cherry.

“Did I scare you?” She asked, her tone still cold, “I thought werewolves have heightened senses too.”

“Uh, we do.” I muttered as I walked further inside the kitchen, “I was distracted.”

“Why is that?” The girl asked, looking curious as her expression slightly shifted.

“No reason.” I lied as I opened a cupboard and grabbed a tall glass.

“Are you drinking wine?” She looked surprised as I walked to the cupboard I knew the champagne was hidden in, “Can I have some too?”

I paused and considered her question for a second, then shrugged, “Sure, but it’s champagne.”

“Good, I like that more.” She smirked as she grabbed a tall glass too, then approached me. She was cold, she lacked the warmth werewolves emanated, but her scent was oddly not exactly hers. I studied her from my peripheral as I got on my tiptoes and grabbed the bottle of champagne. I had been around the Songs for long enough to know them by scent, and she very strongly reeked of Mingi. There was no further information needed to know they really were mated if only someone failed to notice her bite mark. The vampire girl said nothing as I opened the bottle of champagne, mindful of leaving some for San and Wooyoung as I poured the bubbly drink for the vampire before for myself. I could feel her eyes on me, studying me closely, and then she hummed, leaning her hip against the counter, “I might not be a werewolf, but you absolutely stink. Don’t get me wrong, all werewolves do besides Mingi, but your scent is very bothersome right now.”

I gulped, feeling my cheeks heating up as I placed the bottle of champagne back into the cupboard. Getting told that you stink certainly wasn’t very nice, but I knew firsthand that werewolves had distinctive scents, perhaps vampires weren’t too fond of it. Not that I knew much about vampires, there were few in Colourful River and they seemed to frolic more with the humans since they were their blood bags. Still, her comment only worsened my mood as I handed her one of the glasses, trying not to grimace.

“Sorry, I’ll try to keep it down next time,” I muttered over the rim of my glass, and then I took a bigger gulp than necessary. The vampire girl watched me with a raised eyebrow as she took a small sip, savouring the sweet taste unlike me. I didn’t like the amused glint in her eyes, it felt as if she was looking down on me, but I really wasn’t up for a confrontation right now.

“As much as I would love to insult you right now,” My eyes widened as the vampire girl sighed, “Over the past year I learned that when your scent turns sour, or just becomes really unbearable to me, it means that you’re upset. So, I didn’t mean to further upset you, I’m just not very good at understanding how werewolves function.”

I chuckled under my breath as my next words escaped before I could stop myself, “Funny you say that when you’re surrounded by werewolves only right now. Why do you even hang around us if you can’t stand us?”

Despite expecting harsh words as an answer to my jab, the vampire looked dejected as she leaned back into the counter, sighing loudly as she averted her eyes, “If it wasn’t for Mingi and I being—mates, then I certainly wouldn’t be here. When I was young, I had a really bad encounter with a rogue wolf and I have hated you all ever since, but I can’t deny the pull I feel towards Mingi, it’s weird, but it’s there. And when I had tried ignoring it, it had hurt the both of us, so I’m here now, trying to still embrace the fact that now I’m part of this pack that I’ve hated my whole life and of the family that’s been getting on my nerves ever since they moved to Nocturnal Parade.”

I hummed in surprise and took another sip of my drink, now suddenly understanding why the Song twins had reacted with disdain when I had brought up the Petrova family a year ago, I assume she and Mingi weren’t together yet then.

“It must’ve been hard accepting Mingi, then.” The girl’s cold exterior slowly melted away as she looked at me with surprise. I suppose she had been judged by many for her prejudices, but didn’t everyone have some? I couldn’t completely blame her for them, “Seeing a werewolf and a vampire together isn’t uncommon, but I haven’t heard of them being mated before. Do you mind if I ask how that happened?”

The vampire chuckled as she turned her head towards the window, gazing out as she took another sip of her champagne, “We were drunk and had sex. I, apparently, bit Mingi where his scent gland is and triggered his imprinting. It feels weird to think about it, that maybe we would’ve never ended up together otherwise, but I don’t think that’s true. I think I had always liked Mingi, my hatred had just gotten in the way of me realising my true feelings for him.”

I hummed, gaining a new perspective on their relationship. I have heard bits and pieces from Yeri, even Wooyoung sometimes, but Mingi’s younger sister was mostly speaking ill of the Petrova girl. Yeri didn’t like the vampire at all and never failed to go on angry rants about how much she wanted to rip Mingi’s mate apart, but she couldn’t because she’d been accepted by the family, so the vampire girl was now untouchable. Speaking to the vampire, however, wasn’t as awful as Yeri made me think it would be. She faced me again, her head tilted as she looked at me with a curious expression on her face.

“What’s your story? I don’t think we had spoken before, right?” She asked as I shook my head, plastering on a small smile.

“We moved here a year ago, the big city just wasn’t for us anymore.” I shrugged, then traced the edge of the counter with my finger as I averted my eyes from the vampire, “Nothing is interesting about me, I think I’m just a regular, boring, werewolf. I did make a friend, though, it’s Choi San, if you know him?”

“Of course, I do,” The vampire scoffed, rolling her eyes as if hearing my best friend’s name was irritating to her, “Wooyoung never shuts up about him, if I wouldn’t have known better, I’d suspect he’s in love with San.”

That caught my attention as I perked up, subconsciously leaning closer to the vampire. It felt as if she was wearing a patch of Mingi’s familiar scent, it was almost endearing if it wouldn’t have reminded me of the fact that I’d never have this with Yunho, “Really? You think Wooyoung is in love with San?”

The girl chuckled, looking at me with a smirk, “I wouldn’t want to assume such a thing, but you must know Wooyoung is very irritating, so he only settles down when I threaten to tell San he’s always gushing about him behind his back. That must mean something, no?”

I bit my lower lip, buzzing with excitement at the prospect of Wooyoung returning San’s feelings. However, I’d have to trade forward with this information very smartly, I didn’t want to ruin something that apparently had so much potential. I only wanted to see San happy with the person he loved with his whole might.

“I hope it means something,” I muttered into my glass as I took another sip, making the vampire girl’s eyes gain a mischievous glint. I hoped she wouldn’t say anything that would set back the two boys' relationship, but maybe I had finally gained an insider who could help me give tips to San to push their relationship a step forward.

“Interesting,” She mumbled as she took another sip as well, raising an eyebrow, “What about you, though? I know you’re rooming with Yeri, for which you have my condolences, but you’re connected to this family in more ways, right?”

I felt my palms sweat all of a sudden, “What do you mean?”

“I have sharp eyes, and very sensitive hearing. What’s between you and Yun—”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” I would’ve looked guilty even to a newcomer by how quick I was to shut down the vampire’s question and assumption, she hadn’t even fully spelled Yunho’s name yet. I gulped, feeling my heartbeat pick up, then I averted my eyes and hoped she would just drop the subject…but she didn’t.

“It’s not my place to say what I’m about to say next, but be careful.” My eyebrows furrowed as I dared take a peek at her from between my eyelashes, “The Song twins aren’t bad creatures, they really aren’t, but Yunho is…a jackass, simply put. He’s dated Seulgi, my friend, and things were really messy between them. I hear now he’s messing around with a girl who finished the Academy last year, I just don’t want to see you end up like Seulgi. You seem like a genuine werewolf, kind-hearted too, I would hate to see Yunho destroy it all. It’s not my place at all, I know, but maybe just let it be? Maybe it’s better if you’re not meant to be, you know?”

But we are meant to be, I wanted to say it, I wanted to snap at her, but she knew better. If she could see it, a complete outsider, then who was I to correct her? She had known Yunho for longer than me, she probably didn’t have any bad intentions by warning me, but it still hurt. I gulped and downed the last of my champagne, knowing that my scent had soured once again. I came here to escape everything that was Yunho, yet, he was the subject once again. I hated it, but I couldn’t do anything about it. As long as the both of us lived in this town, Yunho would somehow always be the subject, he was too popular and well-liked by the others.

“No, you’re right, I—” I paused when I realised I sounded shaky, “I don’t even like him, don’t worry. I know the type of guy he is, I won’t mingle with him. I’m glad you found Mingi, his scent is all over you, by the way.”

The vampire blushed all of a sudden, it surprised me, but I was glad I had successfully diverted the subject from Yunho. She had a fond look on her face as she tried to save herself with a loud scoff, downing her champagne quickly, “Mingi isn’t too possessive, but since I don’t have a scent as you guys do, he’s scenting me all the time. It was annoying at the beginning, but he wouldn’t stop, so, I just had to accept the fact that everyone would know I was with him now. It’s kind of endearing, but don’t let him know, please! His ego is already through the roof.”

I chuckled, wondering what she was talking about because Mingi was one of the nicest creatures I had ever met. We weren’t very close, but he always stopped to talk to me if we crossed paths in the hallways, and during the summer break, he’d even come over sometimes with baked goods, eager to discuss whatever book he’d lately read. I liked Mingi, he was nice to me and my family, sometimes perhaps too nice. Silence settled between the vampire girl and me, so I decided it was my time to excuse myself and join San and Wooyoung in the back garden once again. Surprisingly, I felt more at ease after speaking to the Petrova girl, I had always thought she was intimidating and too cold, but she was a lot nicer than I have been told. I cleared my throat and pointed towards the archway, an awkward smile making it onto my face.

“I’ll head back outside if you don’t mind.” But as I took off, she called out for me to stop.

“Wait,” The vampire cleared her throat and looked a bit embarrassed as she dug into her pocket, her lips pursed as she avoided making eye contact, “So, uhm, Dahyun forced me today to make some shitty bracelets with her and, honestly, I can’t give this shit to any of my friends, they aren’t werewolves.”

I quirked an eyebrow as she took her hand out of her pocket, then extended it towards me without meeting my eyes. Her palm opened and a simple, but pretty, brown leather bracelet sat in it. I chuckled, reaching for it with an amused smile. The bracelet was braided and it had a cute wood wolf charm, it looked like it was howling upon closer inspection. I was just about to make a playful comment about it when I noticed a very similar bracelet peeking out from underneath the sleeve of her blouse. The only difference was that the leather was a lighter brown than mine, so, I swallowed down my comment and instead looked at her with a big smile.

“Thank you!” It oddly felt like a friendship offer too, but I didn’t want to get too ahead of myself. Maybe she just genuinely didn’t want to give it to her other friends, maybe she was embarrassed to do so, “It’s really pretty.”

“Whatever,” The vampire grumbled as she lowered her hand, fidgeting with her bracelet absentmindedly, “That little animal forced me to—not that I’m calling Dahyun an animal, or other werewolves, I—well.”

I laughed quietly as I wore the bracelet, looking at it for a longer second before I grinned at the Petrova girl, “Don’t worry, I get what you’re saying. We are animals, after all, and since you’ve already brought that up, please be a little nicer to Yeri, I can’t keep listening to her whine about you.”

“I hate that brat.” The vampire scowled, but quickly caught herself, “I mean, sure, I’ll try to be nicer…sort of.”

I chuckled and raised my hand to wriggle my wrist, the wolf charm moving around, “Friends, maybe?”

The vampire seemed to think for a second before she smiled, a real smile that reached her sharp eyes too, “Yeah, friends.”

I felt rather happy as I left the kitchen, fulfilled even, that I had managed to befriend another creature, and this was the Petrova, well now Bae, heir on top of it all. It made me feel excited as I hurried out of the house, planning to tell San and even Wooyoung, but I almost collided with two creatures once out on the porch. The girl's giggles became quiet as my wide eyes stared up into Yunho’s equally surprised ones, but then, his grip tightened around the girl’s waist and he was suddenly manoeuvring themselves around me, a dark look crossing Yunho’s features. I gulped, my heart racing as I heard the girl mutter something about me to Yunho, and then both were laughing. It was fine, I was alright. Yunho was free to do however he pleased, he didn’t owe me anything, no explanations or promises. But my wolf howled inside my mind, a harsh ache suddenly hitting my insides, freezing me into my spot for a second as I gasped for air. I wondered if this exact feeling was the same as the vampire and Mingi had experienced when they tried ignoring their bond. If yes, it made me wonder how was I strong enough to still be going and acting as if Yunho wasn’t my mate, as if his ignorance wasn’t slowly killing me on the inside. All I wanted was to crumble to the ground and let the sobs wreck my body, but instead, I tried to clear my mind and find San’s scent to cosy up with him, burry my pain deep down, and revel in the safety my best friend had always offered me.

But as I finally reached my best friend, he was sitting by the bonfire with a very drunk Wooyoung stuck to his side, arms around San’s middle as his head was pressed into San’s collarbones. We made eye contact and San’s eyes were sparkling with elation and something else as he gestured with his head subtly at Wooyoung, so I knew I couldn’t bother them. I didn’t want to ruin their moment, I could basically smell just how happy, and drunk, San was. I would’ve been a terrible friend if I had walked up to them just to mop around without telling them the real reason for my displeasure, so I decided to just head home for the night. The champagne had left my blood buzzing, and even though I wasn’t tipsy, I knew how my night would end. I’d bury myself deep underneath my pillows and blanket and cry myself to sleep, letting out my wails since nobody would be able to hear me. My parents wouldn’t return for a few more hours, so I could just wallow in misery as loudly as I wanted to. But to leave, I had to grab my jacket first, which was in Wooyoung’s room courtesy to San who had thrown our jackets somewhere on his bed.

The house was silent as I made my way back inside, the kitchen dark once again, and since I couldn’t hear a second heartbeat, I knew the vampire girl had left, probably, to find Mingi. I realised I was fiddling with the wolf charm as I made my way up the stairs, my body covered in goosebumps for no reason. I had been inside this house multiple times, I knew where everything was, but for some reason, my intuition was telling me to turn around and just go home without my jacket. My wolf was basically whimpering in my mind, trying to convince me to turn around as I stepped off the last stair, ears picking up on a faint noise. The hallway wasn’t too narrow but it was long, and Wooyoung’s room was next to the upstairs bathroom, across from Yeri’s. The scents were so mingled up here that I couldn’t tell whether anyone was upstairs, so I just hoped I didn’t run into anyone because I wasn’t capable of conversing right now. I felt spent, upset, and heartbroken at the same time. I knew this would happen, I’d get ignored by Yunho once again, but it still stung each time it happened, I thought I had gotten used to it. Maybe I was reacting this badly because he had insulted me last night as well, and now his actions from tonight were also bugging me.

The faint noises got louder the closer I got to Wooyoung’s room, and with slight terror, I realised they sounded like hushed whispers and muffled moans. Glancing towards Yeri’s room, the door had been left slightly ajar, and despite dread filling my stomach, I found myself walking towards it, eyebrows furrowed once I picked up on a foreign citrusy scent. That, however, was the least of my worries as Yunho’s intoxicating sandalwood and vanilla scent carried through the air in intense pumps, twisting something in my lower stomach, and making my mouth go dry. It was so intoxicating that I found myself creeping towards the door, my breath baited and my hands slightly trembling as my wolf whined at me to barge inside and let Yunho have us, ravish us. But the small crack left by the door being ajar was enough for me to see inside the dim room, making my heart drop in seconds. The girl Yunho had been hanging out with all night was on her knees in front of Yunho as he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands as his mouth hung open, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes squeezed shut as low moans left his swollen lips. I couldn’t pry my eyes away from Yunho’s face despite the sudden urge to cry as my wolf howled loudly, making my blood boil now that I knew for sure others could have Yunho like this. At a particularly high-pitched moan, Yunho’s eyes snapped open and found mine through the crack of the door, making me gasp loudly as I jumped back, feeling disgusted and full of rage at the same time. It wasn’t fair of Yunho to constantly push me away, whether he knew I was his mate or not, and it wasn’t fair that he could easily mess around with others while I was forced to suffer and watch him from afar. I didn’t stall any longer, I was out of the house before I could hear more of the sounds they were making, Yunho’s strong scent burning my throat even the next morning.

            The Spring Break passed by in a frenzy, and I had barely gotten any rest while I was home for the week. Every invite to the Songs I had turned down, disgusted at the thought of facing Yunho after everything. I didn’t want to see him, I didn’t want to hear him, I didn’t want to smell him. I had made up my mind. If he didn’t want me, I wouldn’t want him either anymore. I have yearned enough after someone I’d never have, so, I decided what’s enough is enough. I knew the change wouldn’t happen overnight, especially when my wolf snarled at me anytime I pushed the thought of Yunho away, whining loudly whenever he came up in a conversation. My wolf wasn’t happy with my decision, but I was the one in control, and I was done being hurt all the time. I missed the serenity I once had before meeting Yunho and the rest of the Songs, but if finally living the life my parents had always wished for came with the price of finding an unrequited mate, then I could live with that for now. Perhaps if I went far enough from here then the bond would somehow finally completely break. I could only hope that was the case and I wouldn’t get somehow incurably sick, I’ve heard of it happening before, and it scared me.

Today had been a long day, I felt tired and my back muscles were aching from having been sitting all day long, my brain sore from having been paying close attention in my classes. My notebooks were filled with notes, there was not a second to rest now that we were back at the Academy. San and I had wandered on our own paths sometime during the afternoon, his classes different from mine, besides, I knew he liked working out before going for his run, where he’d most probably be joined by Wooyoung. He had texted me asking whether I wanted to join the two of them, but I had politely declined. San knew I liked being on my own, so he never pushed me if I wasn’t feeling up to it. I always enjoyed my runs more on the Academy grounds than back at home, because here the forest was large and I rarely ran into other wolves while being out there. At home, the boundaries were clearly fenced in, to keep us from wandering too far into the Haunted Woods and getting lost. Other creatures than us, more ferocious ones, lurked deep in the forest, and some of us from Nocturnal Parade had never returned once they ventured too far in.

I knew I couldn’t go back to the shed, especially not now, out of fear of running into Yunho. And as if the Universe was laughing at me today, the way my wolf started purring before the scent even hit my nose should’ve been a clear sign to turn around and go the other way towards the campus, on the backroads where not many liked walking. It was a good spot for the Fae to hide away and drink in nature’s powers, so most of us kept clear of it to offer them privacy. I knew they wouldn’t mind if I stumbled upon them, and I’d rather face their wrath than run into Yunho right now. As I rounded the corner, I stopped walking just in time to avoid crashing into Yunho’s larger body. He gasped and pressed a hand against his chest, gulping almost too loudly. I didn’t look at him as I averted my eyes, nor said anything despite my wolf trying to nudge me towards Yunho. I just tried to step around him and hurry towards the entrance. However, something very unexpected happened. Yunho’s low voice sounded unsure, almost, a little breathy as well.

“Are you headed for a run right now?” My body froze upon hearing Yunho’s question, and I tried to fight every particle of my body from stepping closer to him when his sandalwood scent called out to me. It was deeper, more earthy than ever before, and my wolf was purring so loudly it echoed in my ears as if it were real.

“Yes.” My answer was short, but before I could leave, Yunho followed up with another question.

“May I join you?” He sounded more confident this time, I could feel his eyes on me as my eyebrows furrowed.

What? I gulped, trying to keep my heartbeat even as his question echoed in my mind. Why now? Why did he want to join me on my run all of a sudden? Why was he even talking to me? Why was he acknowledging me? Without even realising it, I had started fiddling with the wolf charm of my bracelet, finding courage as I raised my head and looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

“No.” Yunho’s face became blank as he gulped again, his left eye slightly twitching, “I don’t like going on runs with others.”

Yunho was silent for another second as I raised my eyebrow at him, challengingly. What did he want? His tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he huffed, a cynical smile crossing his features, “I see.”

I hummed, fingers tightening around the charm as I was displeased with his reaction, but I didn’t say anything as I nodded once, stepping around him this time to resume my walk. But, once again, Yunho spoke up before I could leave.

“Have you done the assignment? For our Literature class.” Just what was he on? My eyebrows furrowed again as I looked at him confused, Yunho slightly turned his body to face mine since I was standing next to him.

“Yes, we were supposed to hand it in before the Spring Break.” I knew my tone was sharp as I deadpanned, but I couldn’t help myself. Yunho had never spoken to me like this before, let alone asked about a run or an assignment. If he stumbled into me on accident, he wouldn’t even apologise, so this whole interaction was bizarre, “Why? Have you not done yours?”

“I have.” Yunho’s eyes narrowed then, slowly trailing down my body until it stopped on my wrist. I shivered and hid my arm behind my back as if I had done something I wasn’t allowed to, my wolf whispered at me that I was wearing something that hadn’t always belonged to me, “Are you—did Mingi give you something of his?”

Once again, what? I huffed, closing my eyes for a second as I could feel irritation seep through my body. It wasn’t just my scent souring, Yunho’s sandalwood got replaced by the vanilla, which didn’t smell as sweet as usual, “No, why would he?”

But Yunho didn’t answer as his jaw tightened, his eyes switching between mine before they fell back down to my wrist as if he were trying to see through the sleeve of my jacket. His long hair was tousled, almost as if he had been running his fingers through it too often, and his cheeks were covered in a coral blush and littered with fake freckles. His nails were painted yellow this time and they matched the neon yellow of his bomber jacket, which seemed to hide a purple mesh shirt underneath. A blue tie hung loosely around his neck, and his jeans had daisies stamped on his thighs. He looked amazing, even if peculiar, he made my wolf purr in a dreamy way that had me move slightly towards him, hoping that he hadn’t noticed since he was still busy staring at my wrist, which I was still hiding behind my back.

“Are you lying to me right now?” Yunho’s tone had turned a tad bit aggressive, and suddenly, I found him all up in my face, closing the distance between us with an alarming speed. My heart skipped a beat and my wolf leered at Yunho’s actions, whispering sweet nothings into my ear, distracting me for a second from Yunho’s sudden, and unwarranted, fury.

“What is your problem, Yunho?” Despite craving to touch him and nuzzle into the crook of his neck, I pushed through the sudden lustful haze and made my anger apparent. That seemed to catch Yunho off guard as his expression fell a bit, his eyebrows furrowing as he gulped, opening his mouth before he closed it again, seemingly not knowing how to answer my question. I scoffed, gave him a fierce glare, and ignored my wolf’s whimpers when I stepped back. Then I turned around to storm towards the exit. Where was all that audacity coming from?!

            It was a warm spring day, the sun had finally melted the last remnants of frostbite and dew, yet most students were cooped up in the Study Hall or Library, busy catching up with the projects and assignments they had procrastinated on so far. Perhaps going to the Library would’ve been a smarter choice since the cacophony of the grand room distracted me more than once from my coursework. Midterms were right around the corner and everyone was squeezing in study time even on the weekends, determined to memorise as much material as possible. Thankfully, I wasn’t behind in any of my classes but I still had to finish my Alchemy assignment, which was proving to be a headache. San was busy reading through his Anatomy notes and scribbling down even more information in his notebook as four different books were opened and strewn around him on the table. The sight made me chuckle, but I didn’t bother San as I knew he’d get anxious if he wasn’t able to finish checking all the materials he had proposed for himself to go over that day. He was quite literally a prodigy, yet he strived for even more perfection. I knew his whole future depended on his grades, but San was too smart for his own good…academically, at least.

As I jotted down another sentence about my failed experiment just from last night, Yeri’s chewing gum snapped loudly, making San flinch. He was so focused he didn’t even look up, but his eyebrows slightly furrowed. I peeked at Yeri from above my laptop and raised an eyebrow at her when I realised, she had been staring at me already. She sighed as she placed her chin in her palm, grimacing as the chewing gum had stuck to the corner of her lips. I chuckled as she quickly got rid of it, and cleared her throat.

“Do you think you’ll pass your Alchemy class this semester?” Yeri’s tone was deadpan, and it almost made me laugh. Maybe I should’ve gone to the Library where we weren’t allowed to speak much to each other, maybe then Yeri would’ve spared me from her brutally honest questions.

“I sure hope so,” I muttered as I searched for the right formula on the internet, which was much faster than flipping through old pages of books, trying to find the answer for my magick elixir.

“Will you have to retake your class if you fail?” Yeri pressed, genuinely interested all of a sudden.

“No, it would be the first time I failed this class, I’d just retake the final exam,” I explained as San hummed next to me, highlighting something with green in the book he had borrowed from the Library. I was sure he’d get a good scrutinising from the librarian for that.

“How many passes do I get before they fail me? Like the exams and shit.”

“Which class are you failing, Yeri?” San spoke up with an amused tone as he sneaked a glance at her. I chuckled as I found the formula, then copied it into my notebook before putting it into my slideshow.

“Don’t tell my brothers,” Yeri lowered her voice as she leaned over the table to be closer to San and me, “But I might be failing Literature this year.”

“Literature of all subjects?” San started laughing, prompting me to giggle as well. It was one of our easiest classes, trust Yeri to fail it. It seemed like the Songs were easily tricked by the easiest of tasks, Wooyoung was another prime example of that. He failed his Sports class last year, which should’ve physically been impossible for a werewolf…even all of the vampires had passed it.

“Stop making fun of me,” Yeri pouted as she leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest, “Not everyone likes to read—I certainly don’t.”

“Well, you should from now on, or you’ll have to retake the whole class next year.” Yeri’s eyes widened at my inoffensive threat.

“Whatever,” She grumbled under her breath as her ears perked up, eyes looking around the room. San’s body seemed to tense too for a second before he relaxed, his ears tinged slightly red, “Don’t wait for me to come back to our room tonight.”

“Where are you going?” I felt like an older sister worrying about their younger sibling as my eyebrows furrowed. Yeri just rolled her eyes with a loud huff, eyes fixed on something behind me as she started smiling.

“I’m sleeping in Seungwannie’s room tonight.” I could hear footsteps approaching us rapidly.

“What about her roommate?” I asked as a familiar citrusy scent caught my attention, I didn’t have to turn around to know who was coming.

“She’ll be fine, we like her.” I chuckled as Yeri winked, and then her eyes settled on San, or rather who stood now next to him. Before any of us could react, Wooyoung leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against San’s cheek, unleashing a heavy thundering of heartbeats. I ignored San’s heartbeats as I smiled at Wooyoung, who looked embarrassed by his actions, but he was grinning sheepishly as he lowered his head.

“Hi!” He greeted us as San finally snapped out of his frozen state, giving Wooyoung a genuinely wide smile.

“Hello, Woo,” I said as the younger pulled out a chair and sat in it, dismissing Yeri when she stuck her tongue out at her brother. Wooyoung rested his chin in his palm, head tilted as he looked at San.

“Are you still studying?” Wooyoung’s tone was impatient as San’s sigh was exasperated. I chuckled under my breath and went back to my slide show, looking over it for the nth time, “I’m so bored, San, you promised to come back to my room with me and entertain me.”

“Oh, did you now, San?” Yeri grinned mischievously as she giggled, making Wooyoung’s eyes widen as he shot her an alarmed look. I watched the exchange wordlessly as San’s ears flushed a darker shade while he tried to make his body look even smaller as his wide shoulders hunched forward, “Does that form of entertainment involve—”

“Song Yeri.” Mingi’s tone was authoritative as Yeri’s eyes widened, lips pressing into a straight line. How have I missed them approaching? Yunho was directly looking at me, his soft and chocolate brown eyes drilling into my forehead as I quickly looked away, once again busy with my PowerPoint presentation, “Leave your brother and San alone, must you always be such a menace?”

“If they are idiots…” Yeri grumbled under her breath, and I watched curiously as both San and Wooyoung looked away, blushing and their hearts skipping a beat. I suppose it won’t take them much longer to finally come to terms that they like each other, Wooyoung’s been rather reactive lately around San, it was certainly fun to watch. What wasn’t fun at all, however, was Yunho’s unrelenting stare and his scrunched nose as he sniffed at the air.

“Hello, Y/N.” I didn’t expect the vampire girl to speak to me, she even had a smile on her face as my round eyes fell on her. It was a small smile, but it was there. I watched the people around us turn around surprised as they looked between me and the Petrova girl. I smiled and waved at her, the small wolf charm swishing around on my wrist. I didn’t miss Yunho’s eyes instantly falling onto it, nor the vampire girl’s satisfied smirk when Yeri scowled at her, “Are these rascals bothering you?”

“Oh, not at all.” I chuckled, looking at San and Wooyoung as Yeri scoffed, but everyone just ignored her.

“Well, if you ever get bored of them, you can always join me and my friends.” The vampire girl’s eyes fell pointedly on Yeri and Wooyoung as Mingi’s grip tightened on her waist, “I know some creatures forget they cohabit a place with others whom they are constantly bothering and irritating.”

“Oh, shove something up your—”

“Alright!” Mingi chuckled, jumping in to de-escalate the situation, as always, “Before this turns into another argument, my lovely girlfriend and I will be on our way.”

The Petrova girl winked at Yeri as she kissed Mingi’s cheek, and then the two turned and were off to a table where three creatures sat, all smiling at them except for one. She had long black hair, bangs that fell into her eyes, and a fierce glare as she stared at Yunho, then at me once she realised, I was looking at her.

“Won’t you sit?” Wooyoung gestured towards the empty seat next to Yeri, and that seemed to snap Yunho out of whatever train of thought he seemed to be lost in. I chanced a glance at him before I went back to check for typos in my presentation, trying to ignore Yunho’s vanilla scent spiking all of a sudden, so sweet it almost made me gasp. The last time it had been that sweet was when I caught him and that girl at the bonfire enjoying each other. I gulped and willed my wolf to remain silent as suddenly it took me everything to remain seated and not throw myself at Yunho, God, I so desperately wished to touch him and inhale him whole, but once again I had to remind myself that I had made a choice. No more Yunho, no more yearning, it was over. I deserved better, I could do better than this.

“No, see you around.” Yunho’s voice was strained as he quickly walked off, sitting alone at a large and almost empty table.

“That was strange,” Wooyoung mumbled as Yeri hummed, turning around to stare at her brother with a frown.

“He’s been acting strange ever since Y/N came to town,” I froze as Yeri faced me again, lips pursed, “Not that I’m blaming you for my brother’s behaviour, I just don’t understand what’s up with him. His scent gets stronger around you and he’s always moodier and snappier after he sees you, did you do something to him?”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes too as I closed my laptop, “Right, as if your brother had given me the chance to do something to him.”

Before anyone could question me, I stood and stormed towards the large bookcases lined closely to the exit, my muscles tense. Now that I had decided that I wanted nothing more to do with Yunho, my wolf had turned even more stubborn than it had been. I wanted to consume him, I wanted him to touch me and feel me up, it felt like I couldn’t think or breathe in his presence. And when he wasn’t around, my wolf whined and cried, begging me to find him and make him want us. But my will was stronger and I was determined to stay away even if it became harder and harder daily to go against my wolf. I wondered if Yunho felt the same way, if the thoughts of me were eating him up alive, if he was desperate to have me, if his wolf whined at him just like mine did. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to ground myself into the present and push away all thoughts of the mate who didn’t want me back. I would’ve been struggling more half a year ago, but now it was second nature yearning after Yunho one second, then blocking him out the next one.

I still needed one more book for my presentation, the one that I could document myself from more in-depth as to why my experiment had failed…and I also shouldn’t forget to cut the sound for the recording since Yeri is giggling and making fun of me in the background for almost ruining my desk. My fingers traced the sturdy shelf of the bookcase as I craned my neck back, reading the titles of the books, wondering whether I was in the right section. I was tall, but these bookcases were over two meters, so I might need a ladder if I find my book and it’s way too high up on the shelf. As I scanned the next aisle, I grinned in triumph when I read the title of the book I was searching for, Do’s and Don’ts in Elixir Making, Alchemy, Level: kindergarten, by A. Turner. I chuckled under my breath at the blatant jab before I pushed myself up on my tiptoes, reaching forward and finding stability in the bookshelf when a sudden invasive warmth burned my nape, the scent of sandalwood forcing my eyes shut as I took a deep breath, my wolf purring when the sweet vanilla seemed to linger in my throat and oesophagus even after exhaling.

“Is this the one you were looking for?” Yunho’s voice was low, too close to my ear, and I couldn’t stop my heart from jolting in both fright and excitement. I whirled around, which was a mistake. There was barely any distance between our bodies as Yunho held the book in his big hand, long fingers curling around its old spine, his eyes soft, but his expression hardened. I gulped since my mouth felt dry, but the words didn’t come to me as Yunho and I stood staring at each other. His grip tightened around the book and I finally looked at it, nodding hesitantly. He hummed and handed it over, our fingers brushing in the process and making my body lurch forward. Yunho’s eyes widened, and I wondered if he had felt it too. The electricity, the low humming, the sudden tremble of my body at the fleeting touch, the depravation and desperation that was suddenly flowing through my veins, so close to claiming him as mine.

“Yes.” My voice was steady despite my hammering heart, and the sweat that coated my brows. I cradled the book against my chest as if I was trying to protect myself from Yunho, protect my heart and mind too. But Yunho didn’t look like he was about to move away, and I was too scared of making any moves, knowing that my legs would carry me straight in his arms, shamelessly at that. I couldn’t let that happen, it would’ve been humiliating. Yunho’s lips parted as his eyebrows furrowed, long strands falling into his eyes, and he swiftly ran a hand through his hair as my eyes followed the motion. I gulped, wishing to do the same, but then Yunho exhaled and I felt my body lean towards him again, vanilla so sweet my mind was clouded with want.

“Mingi’s girlfriend told me she had given you the sparse bracelet she and Dahyun had made.” I hadn’t expected that, so I was curious where Yunho was going with this, “She reeks of Mingi, so it’s no surprise your bracelet also reeks of Mingi.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I raised my hand, staring at it incredulously. Does it? I hadn’t even noticed, how come? After all, Mingi’s scent had never been as invasive and constant as Yunho’s. Bringing my wrist closer to my nose, I sniffed at it for a second, eyebrows furrowing when I noticed the faint hint of the earthy and cinnamon scent that was Mingi. It was barely even there, I wondered why Yunho was so sensitive towards it.

“Oh, well, I can faintly smell it now that you’ve pointed it out,” I muttered with a shrug as I lowered my arm, looking at Yunho with a questioning gaze. He bit his bottom lip and my eyes stayed there, wondering what the pink plush flesh would feel like underneath my teeth, whether Yunho would whine or growl if I were to sink my fangs into it and nip at the sensitive lip. But before my face could flush at the vivid image created in my mind, Yunho cleared his throat and took a small step towards me, making me press myself up against the bookcase. My body felt alive, my heart was racing, and my ears were ringing. I felt like I could do anything with Yunho around, as if I was untouchable.

“Listen,” Yunho seemed to hesitate for a second before his eyes glazed over with conviction, his scent so overbearing that for a second it was all I could focus on, and his racing heart, “I had never meant to assume things about you, nor insinuate anything, but I realise my words had come off wrong more than once. I was harsh when I didn’t mean to be, and I know you think I’m a dick. Frankly, you have all the right to think that about me, I hadn’t been the nicest to you until now.”

I wanted to ask why now, what had changed that he was finally acknowledging me, what was spurring him on to even talk to me like this, because it sounded like he was about to apologise and I hated how my heart was beating harder, making my wolf was howl in happiness, ready to accept Yunho’s apology even if he didn’t say the words. I remained silent as Yunho licked his pouty lips, and my eyes seemed to remain on them even as he continued to speak, “Do you—do you believe in soulmates?”

I couldn’t help but give Yunho an amused look, quirking an eyebrow, “We’re literally werewolves who imprint on each other and have lifelong mates, do you believe in soulmates?”

Yunho froze, a little taken aback that I had answered his question with a question, “What about mates? Do you believe in mates, then?”

It seemed like neither one of us wanted to answer questions right now, but I sighed as I gave Yunho a resigned look, “I do, I believe in mates.”

“Since when?” Yunho’s tone was turning slightly desperate as he kept pressing on, and I cleared my throat, averting my eyes for a bit.

“Since I was little, but I suppose I started firmly believing that mates do exist after I came here.” Maybe if I didn’t say it too directly, he’d still understand what I was trying to hint at.

“Yeah?” Yunho’s tone was faint, his face suddenly softening as he exhaled quietly.

“What about you? I don’t think I’ve seen you settle with anyone for a longer period since I came here.” Yunho’s jaw clenched as I looked back into his eyes, tilting my head as my eyes narrowed at him.

“The concept of mates was silly to me…” Yunho’s tone was hard as he took a step back, making my wolf whine in protest, but I remained silent and ignored the sudden coldness that plunged through my body, “Until you came to Nocturnal Parade.”

My whole body went cold upon hearing his words, and my eyes widened as Yunho’s admission echoed in my ears. Did that mean he knew we were mates? Could that mean that Yunho was aware that we were fated, but he was ignoring it on purpose? That was utterly more painful than being in a one-sided mated situation, because it meant he was purposefully rejecting me. My eyebrows furrowed as Yunho’s expression was blank once again, his eyes hardening the longer I stared at him in silence.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, so many questions whirling in my head, making me question every little interaction that we’ve had in the past year, even more so the recent ones. Why would he ignore me? Was I not good enough? Was I not pretty to him? Was I not appealing to his wolf? Why did Yunho hate me so much that he ignored the fact that we were mates for a whole year, making it so hard for me to be in his vicinity? I blinked, suddenly aware that I had tears in my eyes, even my wolf was whining at the realisation. Yunho didn’t say anything as he watched my shocked expression morph into something of sadness mixed with anger, and then I squared my shoulders and glared at him. I didn’t say anything as I pressed the book against his chest to push him back, trying to keep it together in front of him despite wanting to scream at him, demand answers, and throw all the books from the shelves at him. Yunho looked taken off guard as I pushed him back by his chest, his gasp loud as I ripped the book away from his chest and stormed back to the table I shared with San and the Song siblings, my blood fuming and my thoughts running a mile per hour. Yunho was horrible and he didn’t deserve me, even if we were mates. As I loudly and aggressively sat back down in my chair, heads turned to look at me curiously, but nobody bothered me when San shook his head once he noticed Wooyoung open his mouth to drill me with questions.

There was one insistent pair of eyes, however, that didn’t look away even after I had given them a death glare, and it was the creature who was sitting with Mingi and the Petrova girl. Her eyes tracked Yunho as he hurriedly gathered his things from the table and left the hall, a scowl settling on her face before she was watching me again. I opened my book and opted to ignore her, I didn’t have time for all this drama, I had to finish an assignment and study for the midterms as well.

            The next day wasn’t much different, except that there were barely any empty seats to find in both the Library and the Study Hall. After San and I had squeezed ourselves in between a Fae and a Druid, we spent four hours in the Library, our backs aching by the time we headed for lunch. My brain felt numb and my eyes ached from dehydration, and if I thought San would stop his revision while we enjoyed our meal, I was wrong. He was reciting a whole paragraph as he mumbled to himself over a mouthful of vegetable soup, scooping up the baby carrots into his spoon and placing them in my bowl absentmindedly. I smiled at his antics and found myself feeling fond of San and our friendship. Even though I have been here for a year and three months now, I got to experience so many new things and emotions. It was as if I was born for the first time, eager to experience our world through new lenses. If I thought back to my whole life spent in the big city, I couldn’t help but feel sad over how much I had missed out on. The community, however, in Nocturnal Parade had a way of filling in the gaps, and the absence of fond and good memories in a way that tricked my brain into believing that I was always part of this town, of this community, of this pack. It was exhilarating, and for the first time in months, I found myself craving partnership.

So, when San finally started complaining about physically being unable to revise and learn anymore, his muscles crying out for a good stretch, I proposed we go on a run together. It took San only a few seconds to realise what I saying, and then he sprung up from his seat with newfound energy, packing all of his belongings in mere minutes. I giggled as I followed suit, my backpack almost falling from my hands when San grabbed my biceps and hurled me after himself with little care that I was struggling to keep my feet from tangling together as we basically ran out of the Library. I ended up giggling as San faced me with sparkling eyes, his mouth wide but curling into a dimpled smile.

“I’ve been waiting for this day since forever!” San exclaimed as we hurried down the hallway for no reason, but San’s excitement was so palpable that I could almost touch it. It would be the second time I’d join San on his run, so I understood why this felt like a life-changing event to him. I chuckled and linked our arms together to try and slow San down, calm him down a little bit, “Which deity must I thank that you chose me as your companion for a run?”

I rolled my eyes and turned my head to watch San as I released his arm to let him hop down the stairs, “It’s warm outside and I can’t study anymore, I feel tired. I thought you also needed a second away from it all.”

“I sure do,” San muttered under his breath as he waited at the foot of the stairs for me to reach him, “All this studying just for me to not know which major I actually want, we’re four months away from graduating from the Academy, Y/N.”

I hummed and linked our arms together again as I veered us towards the backroads leading to campus, “I know, but you’ve got this San. Whether you choose Medical Engineering or Medicine and Pharmacy, you’ll do well, I just know it.”

“I want to do so much, but I feel like we have so little time,” San mumbled, his lips downturned as we left the building.

“We might not be vampires, but we certainly have more than enough time to live a lifetime full of completing our wishes and wants, don’t you think?” I tried to cheer my best friend up as I nudged his shoulder, but San just sighed long and stopped walking. His scent suddenly soured, and I frowned as he shuffled on his feet, keeping his eyes on the ground.

“I’m just…” He sighed and I hummed, spurring him on to continue, “What if Wooyoung doesn’t like me the way I like him?”

That was a tough question, I would hate myself if I answered it the wrong way and only saddened San more. I gulped and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him lightly, “San, do you not see the way Wooyoung just gravitates towards you? His eyes glimmer when he looks at you, he’s always smiling and laughing in your presence, and he’s always whiney when you don’t pay attention to him. He searches for you in every room, and he’s always talking about you, somehow roping you up into a conversation that has nothing to do with you. I know baring our feelings is scary, but what if…what if Wooyoung likes you the way you like him, and you’re just both wasting time? And if he somehow isn’t into you, it’s Wooyoung, you know nothing will change. He’ll treat you the same way, San. You might be heartbroken but life goes on, and you’ll find someone who is…not Wooyoung.”

“Wow,” San chuckled, biting his bottom lip to stop himself from laughing, “You really were doing so well until you brought up Wooyoung not being into me.”

“I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, feeling bad only for a second as San started laughing. I huffed as he threw an arm over my shoulders and pulled me into his side, a light flush settling over his cheeks. He was still smiling and his scent had evened out, so I knew he wasn’t upset anymore. Maybe my speech was good, after all, even if I ruined it by insinuating Wooyoung might not be into San.

“You’re right, Y/N,” San and I started walking again, “I won’t waste any more time. I’ll tell him before the next full moon.”

My eyes widened as I looked at San’s side profile, “That’s in five days.”

“I know.” San and I shared a look before I hummed, grabbing him around the hips to give him a reassuring squeeze. He smiled in contentment as we wobbled our way through the grass-covered path, thankful that we didn’t come across any Fae that was drinking up the warm sun rays as they lay in the grass.

And, well, that’s how I ended up on a run not just with San, but Wooyoung also. It didn’t bother me, it turned out that Wooyoung was a lot more coordinated and serious when in wolf form than he was in his human shape. His wolf wasn’t too large, but it had great stamina as it ran ahead of San and me, its fur a mixture of black and white, reminding me of his brothers, who both had beautiful fur and majestic builds. At first glance, it seemed as if Wooyoung was aimlessly leading us around the forest, but I was proven wrong when we arrived at a small waterfall, of which I had no idea it even existed. My wolf purred as it shook its fur, looking around with sharp eyes, making me chuckle inside my head when I noticed San headed towards Wooyoung, rubbing their muzzles together. My wolf howled, making me feel embarrassed when both San and Wooyoung looked my way, the amused glint in Wooyoung’s wolf eyes unmistakable even like this. When I was in my wolf form, it was hard to control its reactions, so I was forced to wallow in the embarrassment of the jealousy my wolf felt over what San and Wooyoung had. Even to my wolf, it was obvious that the two’s bond ran deep, that there was something they wouldn’t be able to deny for much longer.

As if San’s wolf had sensed my shift in mood, he approached with strong footsteps, rising a little taller than my own wolf. He was nowhere near as large as Yunho or Mingi, but the wolf was still big and menacing looking. The darkness of its eyes was intimidating to anyone who didn’t know it was San. The sourness of my scent, however, disappeared the second San affectionately brushed its body against mine, huffing under his breath as our heads bumped together in an acknowledging way. It was sweet, it tempered my wolf’s antics if only for a second as we heard the bushes rustling, the steps sounding closer and closer. My skin twitched as I bared my fangs for any unwelcome predator, but even my wolf was shocked to see a black and white wolf emerge from behind a large boulder. It was hard to think straight when your wolf was in control of your body and mind, and I had to pull every part of my mind together to stop my wolf from pouncing on Yunho the second they made eye contact. Something deep rumbled out of the black wolf’s throat as Wooyoung skipped over gleefully, its mouth opened as it made a funny sound.

Mingi imitated the sound as they bopped their noses together, a rumble leaving San’s throat as he stood next to me, protectively, as he watched Yunho’s wolf. A very quiet whine managed to somehow slip past my clenched jaw still when Yunho and Wooyoung acknowledged each other, and the second I realised my wolf would actually throw itself at Yunho, I somehow gathered enough mental strength to force myself to jump away from the group, a loud howl leaving my throat. I knew everyone was watching me, but I was panting and my wolf was purring, I knew I had to leave before I created an even bigger scene. So, when I took off, hopeful that the others would let me be, my wolf almost leered at me when Yunho’s vanilla scent permeated every part of my being, its burning gaze on my body making me choke up as I could see the big, black, wolf chase after me. Everyone else wasn’t far behind, but Yunho seemed to run faster than any of them, forcing me to push myself as my paws hit the forest ground harshly, my lungs heaving for air as we waved through the trees, racing through the forest.

Yunho’s loud puffs of air would’ve covered my skin in goosebumps, a constant reminder of just how close he was to me, to catching me. Because it felt like a chase, as if I was running away from a dangerous predator, and would end up dead, my windpipe crushed between its malicious fangs. My heart raced in my chest and my lungs burned from the lack of air, but my wolf wasn’t tired yet. In fact, it was elated that Yunho was relentlessly chasing, loud huffs and growls leaving its mouth anytime he thought he had finally caught up to us, only to realise my wolf was just tricking him and would speed up once again. My wolf was thrilled as it howled loudly, it would’ve sounded like laughter if I was in my human form, and then it took a sharp left cut as we jumped over numerous fallen logs. My skin was on fire as adrenaline coursed through my body at an alarming state, and I couldn’t remember a time when I had been so in touch with my wolf and the nature that surrounded us. I couldn’t lie, I was excited as well as I listened closely to Yunho’s heavy breaths, still hot on our trail even though he couldn’t quite catch up with us.

I couldn’t tell whether the others were still after us because Yunho’s scent was so intense that it was the only thing my wolf could smell and focus on, but I hoped the others would forgive me for my sudden departure once I had apologised to them. I just hoped San wouldn’t worry about me, but then again, it’s not like I couldn’t take care of myself, and right now it didn’t feel like I was in danger despite Yunho breathing down our neck. Before I could question where my wolf was taking us, the trees became less dense and the soil a little muddier, and I realised we were headed towards the shed. I suppose my muscles had eased up enough for me to end my run, but I wouldn’t want to come to the shed since this isn’t where I had left my clothes, I felt confusion spike through my senses, but my wolf was quick to completely push it down. My bones started aching as I gasped loudly for air, the shed now in eyesight as I realised my wolf was forcing me to shift. I didn’t want to be naked out in the wild, but I couldn’t stop the transformation if my wolf forced it upon me. I groaned when my bones snapped into place, the burgundy fur slowly disappearing as I was forced up onto my legs, my claws slowly retracting into normal nails as my jaw snapped into place, a little sore from the sudden action.

I could feel my hair brush just above my shoulders and I gasped as I tumbled forward into the shed’s door, my feet aching and numb from having pushed myself too hard in the chase. My body felt on fire as my heart raced loudly in my chest, the adrenaline making me more alert than normal as I hurried inside the shed, trying to shift back so that I wouldn’t have to walk to campus naked, but my wolf was opposed to the idea. Before I could wonder why, all my questions were answered. The shed’s door slammed shut loudly behind me and I jumped, whirling around in panic as Yunho’s tall form stood looming in the doorway. There was something different about him right now, about the air between us. It was tense, I felt like I couldn’t breathe in the dim lighting of the shed, and I gulped as I took in Yunho’s appearance. His long brown hair was all over the place, falling into his dark eyes, which lacked their warmth. They were narrowed into slits as he was panting through his mouth, his cheeks tinged a deep red, the flush continuing down to his chest. His fangs hadn’t retracted yet, though, and they were poking past his pink bottom lip. Yunho’s nose was scrunched up as he leered at me, and I gulped nervously, all of a sudden too aware of my nakedness as I tried to shield my exposed private parts with my hand and arm.

Something prompted Yunho to suddenly push forward, consequently making me backtrack until I collided with the old wooden table, making my heart race even faster as Yunho slowly stalked towards me, his eyes an intense orchid colour. I felt shy all of a sudden as if we hadn’t already seen each other naked, but my wolf purred at me and forced my hands away from my body as I felt frozen in place, big eyes looking up at Yunho once he stood too close, too easy to reach. His heart was pounding just as hard as mine as his chest fell and rose rapidly, and my eyes fluttered shut when his vanilla scent made my head swim. It felt as if I was underwater, trying to grip onto my last string of sanity as Yunho growled, hot fingers digging into my hip. My eyes flew open, widening as I looked down at Yunho’s hand holding me, leaving crescent moons as his chapped yellow nails dug into my warm skin. He stepped even closer, caging me in, and making me look up at him as I felt hazy. My wolf was whispering at me to spread my legs just a little further and let him nestle in between them. I wanted Yunho like nothing else before.

“Y/N.” Yunho’s voice was the lowest I have ever heard it be. His eyes seemed to be unfocused as he grabbed me with both hands now, slowly tracing my sides as if he were memorising my body. I had to bite my bottom lip to stop any sounds from escaping, and in a moment of weakness, I allowed my wolf to do to its liking as I raised my right hand, fingers almost hesitantly touching Yunho’s left peck. He shivered as his jaw tightened, stepping even closer until our bodies were touching. It was too much to feel all of him against my skin, his body burning mine up in a way I thought wasn’t possible. My breath stuttered in my throat when Yunho’s fingers ghosted over my breasts, mine travelling lower on his torso until they were massaging circles right above his happy trail, making him growl, “I can’t do it anymore.”

It was hard to speak, but I needed to understand what he meant. I swallowed around nothing, letting my head fall back as Yunho’s pupils dilated upon seeing my exposed neck, “What—what do you mean?”

Without realising, my hands were tracing his lower back, slipping lower and lower until they hovered right above his ass cheeks, hesitant to touch until Yunho roughly grabbed my left breast, rutting against my thigh. I keened, pressing him closer as my fingers dug into his naked flesh, my skin practically singing as he tilted my head even further back with his free hand, his index finger pressing against my bottom lip insistently. I couldn’t breathe as the wooden edge of the table dug into my back, but I didn’t care as my body experienced things it never had before. It was exhilarating, but also scary that I had given in so quickly. I knew it was mostly my wolf doing this, but I couldn’t find my grip. I actually didn’t want to, so I let my wolf take the lead for once when it came to Yunho. It’s what we’ve wanted for a year, after all, to feel him all over us, close to us, in us.

“You’re so alluring,” Yunho whispered as his head lowered, his hot lips pressing against my cheek as I flushed a darker red, “Maddening to the point I can’t sleep at night, Y/N. I want to devour you whole, take you as you are. I need you.”

I whimpered as Yunho and I made eye contact, his hand which was holding my breast now sneaking to my lower back as he made me arch into him, my lower stomach coiling at how easy it would be to just let him take whatever he needed. And I wanted it too, my wolf was desperate for it, so I leaned up until our lips were brushing together, my own orchid eyes reflected in his.

“Why now?” I whispered, watching as Yunho gulped, lips parting as if he was trying to inhale my very breath, “Why do you want me now?”

I gasped when Yunho suddenly hoisted me up, my legs crushing his hips as I latched onto him, my eyes shaking slightly as he nipped at my jawline, his fangs dangerous but not there to harm, “It’s not just now, I always want you. Even when I’m sleeping, you’re in my every dream.”

My eyes fluttered close as Yunho kissed behind my ear, making me sigh in pleasure as he trailed more kisses on my neck until he was dangerously close to my scent gland, “But you’ve always ignored me, I thought you didn’t like me.”

Yunho growled as he nipped at my skin, making me lick my lips as we came eye to eye once again. I wanted to kiss him breathless, but he was talking before I could do so, “I don’t like you, I’m obsessed with you. I want you to be mine, forever. I had known you belonged to me the second I first saw you.”

My wolf purred and I moaned as he pressed open-mouthed kisses against my neck, up to my jawline until our cheeks were pressed together, and he was nuzzling his nose into it, his sandalwood scent rubbing deeply into my skin. Our noses bumped together and my wolf was leering, so happy that we were in Yunho’s arms, so lenient to let him mark us, mate us. And just like that, my heartbeat stuttered and my eyebrows furrowed, somehow my mind clearing through the lustful fog that was clouding it, “Since the second you first saw me?”

“Yes,” Yunho muttered lowly, kissing my cheek before he looked into my eyes, “I had smelled you before I had even seen you, I thought I was going crazy, turns out I wasn’t. I had just found my mate.”

Before my wolf could let me gloss over this new piece of information, I pressed, “So you knew all this time that we were mates? That I was fated to be with you?”

“Yes, Y/N, I knew.” The grin on Yunho’s face was anything but pleasant as my heart dropped all the way to my stomach. He knew all this time and he left me in the dark to suffer alone, cry myself to sleep thinking I wasn’t good enough, that even my own mate didn’t want anything to do with me. I had thought all this time that I was too weird, too much, too shy to be fated with someone like Yunho, I had thought it was a cruel joke made by the Universe to laugh at me, I couldn’t have a peaceful and perfect life even if we left the city. I had been suffering for the past year and all this time Yunho knew, and yet, he did it on purpose. He didn’t care for me, he didn’t think for a second what this did to my mental health and image of myself. He was my mate, yet instead of protecting me, making me happy, and keeping me safe, he pushed me towards my darkest times where I felt like I wasn’t even real, that I didn’t matter to anyone, that I’d never be enough.

“Put me down.” My tone was just as shaky as my whole mental state right now, crumbling faster than my wolf could grasp the situation and try to silence me again. Yunho’s eyes widened slightly, then his eyebrows furrowed, and instead of doing what I asked, he only held me tighter, “Yunho, put me down right now.”

“Y/N, I don’t—listen, we can discuss this. I messed up, if you listen to the whole—”

“If you don’t put me down right now, Yunho, you’ll never see me again.” My wolf was whining as Yunho’s expression crumbled into hurt and panic, his chest falling and rising rapidly as I could hear his heart race for different reasons now. But I wouldn’t let this go his way, I couldn’t just gloss over this and act as if I hadn’t been miserable since the moment I met him. It hurt too much, even my wolf was finally realising what was happening, that he had actively refused his mate for whatever reason I wasn’t curious to know. And even though I could see it in Yunho’s eyes, the need to go against my demand and keep me here, very slowly, he started to move, letting one leg down at a time. My feet were cold as they touched the shed’s flooring, and I gulped as Yunho still hounded me into the table. I tried to keep the tears out of my eyes as I gulped, taking a shaky breath. Then, I pushed him back since he wasn’t moving away, and closed my eyes as I felt my bones shift around without me having to force my wolf to cooperate. So much for running with your pack.

            The tables have somehow turned. It wasn’t me yearning after Yunho anymore, it was him yearning after me now. He was everywhere I went, albeit the Academy’s grounds weren’t as humongous as a town’s grounds, but he was everywhere. I couldn’t enjoy my meals anymore, I couldn’t study in the Library or the Study Hall, I couldn’t sit out in the Flower Fields on a blanket reading, and I couldn’t even go on runs at a reasonable hour because Yunho was always there. It was slightly frightening and disarming, but my wolf was elated. She was practically mewling at all times, baring her neck in Yunho’s direction anytime she could. Good thing my will was stronger than hers. It was peculiar to see how good I was at actually dismissing Yunho’s whole existence, giving him a taste of his own medicine. I didn’t find joy in ignoring him, but I was mad and hurt. I wouldn’t allow him to just crawl back into my life as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t known all this time that we were mates. Only a week had passed since our encounter on the run and the whole thing that went down in the shed, and I was positive Yunho was close to losing his mind.

I had felt like that for a good two months, but I took it a lot better than he was right now. He looked like he hadn’t slept for two days at least, with dark bags under his eyes and his hair all wavy and in a man-bun since it looked unwashed. His nails lacked their usual vibrant colour and his outfits seemed less crazy, as if he wasn’t putting much thought into them anymore, just wearing whatever was at hand. Yesterday, he had even worn one of Mingi’s black hoodies, a colour unseen on Yunho previously. It was jarring, I couldn’t lie, but I wasn’t going to give in to him just because he was moping about me keeping my distance from him. It wasn’t even that deep, I hadn’t even rejected him like he had done with me, I just needed time to sort out my feelings and thoughts, but I suppose Yunho didn’t know that and assumed things were over between us. As if there had been anything, to begin with. Yeri, who had no issues rooming with me but didn’t usually hang out much with me otherwise, was now suspiciously all up in my business every damn day, resulting in Yunho tagging along. I knew the Song siblings were close, but I hadn’t seen Yunho and Yeri spend more than one hour together at the Academy, so they weren’t slick with it when Yunho followed after Yeri, and subsequently me, all day like a kicked puppy.

But if it wasn’t Yeri, then it was Dahyun, who had never spoken to me more than five words at once, but was now eager to get to know me, complimenting me about my rusty coloured hair and forcing me to do beaded bracelets with her in the Study Hall while Yunho sat a few seats away from us, staring at me without even blinking. Their antics had gotten old and irritating quite quickly, but the last nail had been today during lunch. I sat with San and Wooyoung, who were disgustingly sweet now that they had finally sorted out their relationship. They weren’t dating, but they were certainly something more than friends, and they seemed fine with that, so, who was I to judge them? Our lunch was full of chatter as Wooyoung cackled at every small thing, animatedly retelling a time when San had tried to sneak into his room, only to slip down the roof and fall face-first into the mud. He had broken two teeth and had almost fractured his cheekbone if it wasn’t for our magical werewolf healing. My appetite had even returned as my wolf was finally done acting as if it was the end of the world, however, when Yunho’s oppressing sandalwood scent wafted through the air, it felt like my whole day was ruined.

Mingi and his girlfriend joined our table with quiet greetings as they sat, Yunho hot in tow as his eyes burned into the side of my head. I have had enough, but before I could excuse myself, Wooyoung was already talking to Yunho. The vampire girl gave me an understanding look before she sat back, pushing around the vegetables until Mingi noticed and took them from her. I watched their interactions while paying attention to Wooyoung, who had slightly settled down when San squeezed his thigh. But Yunho was still staring, breathing shallowly, his bottom lip jutting out almost pitifully. I wanted to yell at him that this was his fault and that I was sick of everything, but I kept my composure until I couldn’t anymore. A scoff made us all look up, and I realised it was the same creature from the Library, part of Petrova’s friend group.

“Look at you,” She sneered at Yunho malevolently, her lips curling into a wicked smirk, “You thought you had found another bitch just to get kicked to the curb by her, didn’t you? How pitiful.”

Before I could stop myself, I pushed my chair back and looked at the creature with a glare, “Who are you calling a bitch?”

I hadn’t intended to growl, but my wolf was just as triggered as me, and we really didn’t want to be provoked today. I wasn’t confrontational, but I was beyond stressed by the midterms, and now Yunho’s behaviour too.

Before this whole ordeal could escalate into something else, the Petrova girl scoffed, rolling her eyes, “Really, Seulgi? I thought we agreed you’d finally let it go.”

Seulgi, Yunho’s ex-girlfriend I realised, bared her fangs at the other vampire, “Just because you suck your werewolf boyfriend’s dick, you shouldn’t look down on your kin. Or did you forget who you are and where you come from?”

I hadn’t seen anyone get angry as fast as the Petrova girl, her whole face going red, but before the two vampires could turn this into something physical, Mingi stood and faced Seulgi, “I would appreciate it if you stopped harassing my girlfriend, your own friend, Seulgi. Last time I checked, you and Yunho broke up because you cheated on him. What’s your fucking problem, huh? Do you want me to rip you apart? I would love to sink my fangs into—”

“Mingi.” His girlfriend looked sick as she gripped his hand tightly, shaking her head at him. Mingi took a sharp breath and looked at her with a guilty expression before he faced Seulgi again, who looked to be fuming. I exhaled, then grabbed my backpack and tapped San’s shoulder.

“I’m not hungry anymore, see you later.” Before San could ask where I was going, I was basically running out of the canteen, desperate to get away from everyone. The other students were staring at us curiously, and I hated it. I was tired and irritated, I just wanted to be alone and away from anything that was connected to Yunho. I knew I’d have to face him and have a conversation with him sooner or later, but maybe I’d first make him suffer for his choices for another few months. Maybe until we graduate.

My footsteps echoed down the corridor as I decided to head back to my dorm and take a nap, I still had some time until my Calculus class. However, footsteps followed mine hurriedly, and judging based on the absence of an overbearing scent, I guessed it was a vampire that was trailing me. Maybe it was the Petrova girl, I actually hoped it was her since I didn’t really want to speak to anyone who couldn’t take a hint. She was rather good at reading the room, over the past week we’ve hung out more, and I got to know her a bit better. She was anything like Yeri had made her sound, and I was just glad to have a friend who was a female and my age. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt sharp nails digging through my sleeve and into my skin, making my wolf growl as I turned around with a sharp glare. It was Yunho’s ex, the black-haired girl, Seulgi.

“What do you want?” I snapped, my eyebrows furrowing when she didn’t let go of my arm. She looked me up and down with a grimace, scoffing under her breath.

“Are you Yunho’s new bitch?” My jaw tensed and my wolf growled, but Seulgi continued before I could speak, “Have you fucked already? Did he tell you that you are the love of his life only to cheat on you with a fucking dog the next day?”

So, she was associating werewolves with dogs now, huh? I couldn’t have disliked her more than I already did, but I gulped down the nasty names I could’ve called her, and opted to be the adult in this damn conversation, “Even if my answers to your questions were all yes, how is that your concern? Aren’t you just his ex?”

“I might be his ex,” Seulgi snickered, stepping closer, “But I know him better than anyone else—”

“I highly doubt that’s true since he has a twin brother, but sure, whatever you say, darling.” I cut her off, my tone turning cold as something like jealousy gripped my heart. My wolf was far from exhilarated to know that Seulgi and Yunho shared a past, but everyone had a life before they met their mates, no? I couldn’t flip out over something like this.

“Listen here, bitch,” Seulgi hissed, stepping so close I could smell her breath. It reeked of blood and menthol, “I’m just here to warn you, but since you want to get smart with me, I might as well give you a piece of my mind. You are nothing to—”

“Kang Seulgi.” Yunho’s sharp and dark tone made me shiver and Seulgi’s eyes widened. I hadn’t even heard him approach, too focused on Seulgi and my own anger. His scent was strong, the sandalwood making it hard to breathe as it spiked sourly, “Haven’t I told you countless times to leave alone anyone that comes in contact with me?”

“Are you scared I’ll let them know who you really are? This bitch isn’t even into you, I can—”

“You can’t do nothing, shut the fuck up, you know nothing.” Yunho sneered as he stopped next to me, a few good heads taller than Seulgi as he loomed over her. She didn’t look intimidated or scared as she grinned widely, almost insane looking. She tilted her head, her eyes slipping between the two of us.

“You think just because you scent this bitch others won’t touch—” I flinched when Yunho suddenly grabbed her by the throat, yanking her towards himself. Even Seulgi seemed shocked, her eyes turning wide as she gripped Yunho’s wrist in fear.

“If you call her a bitch one more time, Seulgi, I swear to fucking God, I will murder you right here and right now.” Yunho’s growl was guttural, I knew his wolf was talking rather than him, but Seulgi didn’t seem to realise that as she started shaking like a leaf. She gasped, her eyes flickering to me before she tried to smooth out her face and look friendlier.

“Is she—Yunho, it hurts.” She whined, lower lip trembling as Yunho’s nails grew sharper and dug more into her neck. I stepped up, knowing that Yunho wasn’t completely himself.

“Let her go, Yunho, you’re hurting her.” My tone was harsh, and I gripped his lower arm to squeeze it painfully. Yunho huffed and let go of Seulgi, who I grabbed before she could stumble over her own feet.

“Are you alright?” I asked quietly as she started to hyperventilate, her eyes filled with tears.

“Are you mates?” Her voice was quiet as she looked back at Yunho, leaving me speechless. I opened my mouth to deny it, but no words came out.

“Yes.” It was Yunho who answered, firm and loud, I could feel him step closer as his warmth mingled with mine. Seulgi gulped, then looked at him before at me, brushing my touch off her.

“I’m sorry.” Then she turned and hurried off before we could stop her, her sobs quite loud as they echoed down the corridors. I gulped, feeling a lump in my throat as Yunho was still behind me, hovering over me as if I would run away if he didn’t.

Even I had a breaking point, so I gave in, “What do you want—”

“Forgive me, for everything.” Yunho was speaking before I could even finish my sentence as he came around me, and gripped my cheeks, taking me off guard, “I don’t demand you do it right away, I know you must be very angry with me right now, but please, listen to me before you say anything. I didn’t believe in mates because my parents aren’t true mates. My father’s mate died when they were children and my mother denied her real mate to be with my father, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and not wait for love to find me. I—I also might’ve been selfish and a jackass for not wanting to settle down just yet, that is mainly the reason I’ve tried to ignore our bond this whole time.

“It’s so shitty of me and I’m so ashamed of myself, but I was scared that you might not want me back, that I might be in a one-sided situationship. My parents had always told us that we have the right to deny whoever the Universe destined us with and find our own person, but they were wrong, they—they don’t know what the pull of a true mate feels like. When Mingi and Petrova started going out, I was so angry, I felt so abandoned. Mingi and I had promised we would never imprint on anyone, but he broke his promise when he imprinted on Petrova. I was so dumb to be mad at him, and I was even more dumb to try and deny what we two have. I realised I was jealous of Mingi at some point because I thought I’d never have what he has, and then you showed up and I—I didn’t know what to do, how to navigate all these new emotions. I also had a girlfriend at the time and I seriously thought we’d work out, but…you were all I could think about and want. In fact, I don’t want anyone else but you, Y/N. I’m just—I’m asking you to give me a chance. Just one chance.”

I gulped, overwhelmed by Yunho’s confession and his proximity altogether as my wolf purred, prompting me to nuzzle my cheek into Yunho’s palm, inhale his scent deeply as my nose brushed against his hot wrist, “One chance?”

Yunho’s heart skipped a beat as vanilla wrapped around us, his eyes regaining that pretty spark in them, “Yes, just one chance, I beg. I’ll prove myself to you, I’ll treat you right, and I’ll love you unconditionally. I want to make up for the lost time, may I—can you let me? I’ll do whatever you ask of me.”

I licked my lips and watched as Yunho’s mouth parted, inhaling through his lips as his heart started racing. His ears were flushed and I smiled, a little amused, as I raised my left hand and cupped his cheek, making his eyes widen. But he didn’t stay frozen, he let his right hand fall from my cheek as he pressed his palm over my hand to keep it firmly pressing into his cheek, “I won’t forgive you overnight, I hope you’re aware of that. You made me really suffer, Yunho, it was so painful at some points, I thought the broken bond would kill me.”

“I’m sorry,” Yunho whispered sorrowfully as he leaned forward to press his forehead against mine, and I sighed, closing my eyes. For a second, it felt as if it were just the two of us in the world, our scents mixed and creating a safe cocoon that couldn’t be broken unless we wanted it to. I felt my heart beat in a new rhythm, one that was stronger and more frantic somehow. I realised it was Yunho’s heartbeat I was feeling, and not my own, it made me wonder whether he could feel mine too.

“I haven’t felt this complete my whole life,” Yunho whispered in a shaky tone and I gulped, angling my head so that our noses would brush together. Yunho’s sharp exhale fanned over my face and I smiled, listening to the whisper of my wolf. She was right, I finally had him, and I didn’t have to withhold anymore. Even if with baby steps, we could work this out, I could forgive him if he proves himself to be a respectable and trustworthy werewolf. So, I tilted my head away, hearing Yunho’s breath catch as if he was panicking until my lips were pressing against his pink ones. They were warm, just like I had fantasized they would be, and they tasted like strawberries. I almost giggled, but I was too focused on the feeling that spread through my body, stealing my breath away even if it was just an innocent and fleeting peck to Yunho’s lips. My body tingled, and it felt like I saw the world for the first time when my eyes fluttered open, Yunho was already staring at me deeply. His cheeks were flushed dark, his fake blush all but disappearing under his real blush, and he was smiling so widely his cheeks must’ve hurt once we pulled away. I chuckled and shook my head, gently placing my arms around his neck as he hugged me close to himself.

“This isn’t me forgiving you, by the way, my wolf is just too desperate at this point for me to fight against her,” I muttered and Yunho laughed, his eyes creasing as he threw his head back, the sound of his joy music to my ears. I couldn’t help but grin widely and tighten my arms around him, wondering how I had gotten so lucky to have him of all werewolves as my mate.

“Mine too, are you busy right now?” The mischievous glint in Yunho’s eyes told me whatever we were about to do would define how we’d move forward with our relationship.

“Not really, why?”

“Mingi won’t be back until late evening, the dorm is all mine,” Yunho whispered, biting his bottom lip as his pupils dilated, eyes slowly trailing down my body as if I was already naked.

“Good, because I forbid Yeri from bringing back boys to our dorm, I can’t go around breaking my own rule.” I wriggled my eyebrows at Yunho, making him laugh as his hands slowly slipped lower on my torso, feeling me all up. It made me feel hot all over, my wolf purring loudly as I fought the urge to tilt my head back and bare my neck at Yunho.

“Oh, the horror on her face if she’d see her brother under your sheets.” Yunho made a mocking sound as he pressed a hand against his mouth, my eyes lingered on his long fingers. I’m sure he noticed because he suddenly smirked, then swiftly pecked my lips before he detached himself from me, intertwining our fingers as he eagerly led the way towards our side of campus, “Let’s stop wasting time.”

I hummed, feeling my chest all warm from Yunho’s warmth, my cheeks flushed and my heart racing in my chest. All this time I thought my mate would never want me back, yet here we were now, headed to explore what the future held for us. My wolf and I couldn’t have been happier.

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[joonieskinks]

captain john price who’s jealous over the attention the other 141 boys give you

- it was a happy day when the gorgeous diplomatic relations officer joined the 141. you’re intelligent, kind but also not afraid to go after what you want when you want it, not to mention persuasive

- they nicknamed you “charmer” straight out the gate

- and charmed your way into their hearts you did

- namely your captains. he knew it was undignified to go after a member of his own task force, as well as a younger woman at that, but it didn’t stop him from actively seeking out your attention and touch

- he’d ask you into his office just to steal you away from the other boys trying to talk you up and check you out

- johnny was always trying to get you to spar with him, trying to get you in any kind of physical position with him, kyle would ask for your help with tasks while simon just liked to watch. they all definitely enjoyed their time with you in different ways

- but was there anything in john’s office when he stole you away? no, he just wanted to have you solely for himself. sure, he’d drum up some kind of paperwork for you to sign or ideas to run by you. any reason, right?

- sometimes johnny or kyle will convince you to spar with them. their hands all over you, the adrenaline pumping and your hot body in some skimpy workout outfit. yeah, that’s a treat for them alright. so john’s gotta be there too. he’ll interrupt before you can start

- “ladies like this pretty one don’t fight, boys. don’t bruise ‘er up.”

- “on come on john, I can take it”

- he would just sigh. looking like he had no choice on the outside, but on the inside, this is exactly what he wanted

- “looks like I’ll have to handle this myself”. trying to hide his smirk as he steps onto the mat

- johnny and kyle just look at each other all bummed out

- simon’s watching from the sidelines, smiling underneath his mask. he can see exactly what his captain is aiming at

- any excuse to touch you, and touch you he did. from pining you down below him to the most intimate of positions. just how he likes it. he likes showing the boys you’re his as you lay underneath him, his hands holding your wrists above your head, his legs straddling your hips

- “feel good?” you tease

- “what do you say you meet me back at my quarters in five?” john says just loud enough for the boys to hear and immediately johnny is walking away scoffing, kyle plugging his ears and simon… well simon just keeps watching for now

- you smile up at your boyfriend. “you know, it’s a good thing they flirt with me, doesn’t make it obvious to the higher-ups that you’re dating your subordinate”

- “yeah, well, sometimes they need to be reminded whose the boss around here” john leans down to kiss you gently, mumbling on your lips

- “now get back to the bedroom or i’m sure simon will watch me take you on this mat”

[ayumigotabittoolonely]

Gojo Satoru x older reader (7 age gap) headcanons

Synopsis - as a.normal adult that lived a stressful life , who thought she'll get a reason to live, pushing all the stress aside.

Warnings ⚠️ - f!reader , older reader. Reader is 28 and he is 21! A university student.

© not canon this is just a work of fiction, fuck off if you are pissed.

♡ Younger gojo - You first meet Satoru at a café near his university, where you often stop by after work. He’s loud, effortlessly charming, and annoyingly persistent when he notices you.

♡ Younger gojo - He overhears your conversation with a friend about work stress and, in typical Gojo fashion, inserts himself into the conversation with a teasing remark.

♡ Younger gojo- He starts showing up at the café more often, making playful comments about how it must be fate that you always run into each other.

♡ Younger gojo - He shamelessly flirts with you, dropping cheesy pick-up lines like, "So, how does it feel to be my ideal type?" or "You're a whole seven years older? Damn, you’re basically my cool, sexy senpai."

♡ Younger gojo - He teases you about your ‘serious adult job,’ acting mock-impressed whenever you talk about work responsibilities.

♡ Younger gojo-Despite his playful nature, you notice he actually listens when you vent about work. He remembers little details,your annoying coworker’s name, your favorite way to destress,and brings them up later in thoughtful ways.

♡ Younger gojo -You hesitate at first because of the age gap. Seven years may not be huge, but you still see him as a reckless, flirtatious university student.

♡ Younger gojo You remind him, "Aren't you too young for me?" only for him to smirk and reply, "Nah, you're just too perfect for me to ignore."

♡ Younger gojo - He works hard to prove he’s not just some immature kid. He’s persistent, but not in an overwhelming way he gives you space while making it clear he’s serious.

♡ Younger gojo - He loves calling you "Ms. [Last Name]" just to see your reaction. You roll your eyes, but he sees the small smirk you try to hide.

♡ Younger gojo-He lives to fluster you, whispering teasing things in public just to see you struggle to keep your composure.

♡ Younger gojo-He insists on paying for dates even though you earn more than him. If you tease him about it, he pouts dramatically: "Let me be a gentleman, okay?"

♡ Younger gojo-He loves stealing your work shirts or sweaters, claiming they ‘smell like you.’ It’s his comfort when he’s drowning in university assignments.

♡ Younger gojo-You’re more level-headed, but he has a way of making life exciting. He drags you out of your routine, making you loosen up and have fun.

♡ Younger gojo-He’s surprisingly good at giving emotional support. If you ever feel overwhelmed by work, he makes you take breaks and does something stupid just to make you laugh.

♡ Younger gojo-But he’s still Gojoz,immature at times. He complains dramatically when you act too much like an ‘adult’ “Babe, stop being so responsible and come play with meee.”

♡ Younger gojo-You find yourself being the one reminding him to study, eat properly, and sleep on time. You joke about babysitting him, but deep down, you don’t really mind.

♡ Younger gojo - He casually talks about the future with you, dropping comments like "When I graduate, we should move somewhere nice."

♡ Younger gojo - You worry about how people might view your relationship, but he never lets it get to him. "Who cares what they think? I have the coolest girlfriend ever, i mean mommy-" you smacked him.

To the ones Asking me if gojo was my favourite NO he is not ☹️ my suguru bby is, why do I create so much fics about him then?

Alright so Cannonically I m similar to gojo YES I m , like seriously. When I first saw gojo , I was like , he is me , I m him. So it's like , i know myself better than anyone else, that's why I make gojo fics more often, some fics are based on real life incidents 🫦

[bullet-prooflove]

Buck + ferry ⛴️ flowers 💐 firetruck 🚒

Tagging: @kmc1989 @mckinleysbones @sophiah2253 @qutequeersstuff @gatefleet

Buck meets you at Catalina Island during a call out. You’re dangling from a top rope halfway down a cliff face, rendering first aid to another climber, whose hanging 50 feet up in the air after knocking himself unconscious. It takes them a while to get down to you, they’ve come by air rescue because the fire truck can’t make the ferry trip to the island. They have to find the right anchor points to rappel down safely, bringing their kit and a backboard with them.

He can tell you’re on the job from the way you relay the information regarding the other Luis, the other climber’s condition. You use the same terminology, talk in a calm precise manner and you’re not squeamish, especially not about the bone that’s sticking out of the guy’s arm.

“They’ll get him down and then I’ll clip you in with me, the two of us we’ll go down together ok?” He says to you as Eddie and Chim begin to guide Luis’s form further down the cliff face.

“Honey,” You drawl, fixing him with a shrewd stare. “Trust me, I’m perfectly capable of finding my own way down.”

Honey…

For some reason the term makes Buck’s cheeks color.

As you start the descent it becomes clear to him that you’re a skilled climber, your movements are smooth, careful and in coordination with his own. The two of you set a quick pace as you abseil down the cliff. If it were any other circumstance he’d probably find it fun, but Luis has just woken up and he’s screaming blue murder because he’s just realised his forearm looks like something out of a gore movie.

“You’re one of us aren’t you.” He says when you both reach the bottom and you give him a quizzical look as you unclip the carabiner from your rope. “A firefighter?”

“Mountain rescue.” You tell him loosening the harness around your waist. “I usually work out of the national park. Today’s my day off, I thought I’d get some time in on a different rockface so I came out here to the island and then-” You gesture to Luis, shaking your head. “- your guy over there ends up bashing himself on a couple of boulders trying to get a picture with those flowers sticking out for the ‘gram.”

He's about to respond when Bobby calls out to him, he turns his head to acknowledge the words and by the time he turns back you’re already walking away to pack up your kit. He guesses you won’t be doing much more climbing today.

He can’t stop thinking about you on the way back, he takes out his phone and Googles the Los Angeles Mountain Rescue website, he finds your name on the Team Section. He spends the rest of the shift going through your Instagram feed, scrolling through your pictures, getting a sense of the person you are.

Fun, adventurous, a little wild, a little soft.

All traits that appeal to Buck in a partner.

“Are you gonna keep cyber stalking her?” Chimney asks as he drops down on the couch alongside him. “Or are you actually gonna do something about it?”

Sliding into your DMs reminds him of his dating app days and Buck, he’s not looking for something casual, he wants to settle down, experience something real.

It’s a few days later that you run into each other, literally. He’s grabbing a smoothie order for the firehouse when he collides with you in the doorway, he’s skimming through your feed again, whilst you have your eyes fixed firmly on your own screen. He apologises as he knocks the phone out of your hand, bending down to pick it up and that’s when he sees it. His profile live on your screen. It looks like he’s not the only one that’s been doing a little cyber stalking.

“I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself the other day.” He says as he hands the phone back to you. “I’m Buck.”

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[themeaningthemeaningthe]

can’t sleep for other reasons and my brain can’t stop thinking about a post i saw and initially ignored but keep having thoughts about. i didn’t comment on it or anything and now it’s lost to the ether and i don’t wanna go looking for it but these thoughts gotta go somewhere.

this will be long and rambling and probably a little incoherent cuz it’s 3am.

the post was someone saying that they finally picked up gideon the ninth after years of seeing locked tomb posts and griddlehark, then dropped it after like 2 chapters bcuz they think the dynamic between gideon and harrow is abusive (which is fair when u first start it) and they can’t believe people are into it as enemies to lovers. on the one hand, people are totally cool to just not like something for whatever reason, i myself just have thoughts about the Nuance that i didn’t express on the post that i now must here.

lots of important spoilers for GtN!! (and maybe accidentally ones to HtN)

ok here’s the rant.

that’s the point!!!!! that’s the point.

they are terrible to each other and they have always been. the growth and the development of their character dynamics together explores how this thing between them that has always been sharp and seething and spiky must buckle under the weight of outside pressure beyond anything they could have imagined.

in a very important pool scene (one that is ubiquitous in fanart and i have to believe this poster saw at least a few times) we get an explanation from harrow! and not only does this give us a more full look into the context of drearbruh outside of gideons narrow point of view, but it also makes more clear why they were like That.

i’m sorry but literally harrow is 200 dead kids that her parents killed to make her, and gideon is the one kid they couldn’t kill. and gideon realizes once told this, she is the living reminder of the war crime committed to save the house, and no one who knows can forget it.

and harrow has known the truth of her origin since she was old enough to comprehend anything!! so yeah, a traumatized child who knows she’s the entirety of a generation of her house is gonna lash out at literally the only other child on the planet who she happens to also have power over.

and i feel like the book makes this pretty clear!! this was bad!! but also, these are two traumatized kids growing up in a dying, creepy, planet that is lowkey hell.

the other key thing about the pool scene, is that it is a Confession. these books are sooo steeped in catholicism. harrow isn’t just explaining the true history of her life, she is Confessing all of the sins that make her up and all of the sins she has committed. bearing the entirety of the wretchedness of her soul for gideon judge. expecting her only friend whom she has made miserable for years to kill her.

and i know we joke about gideon being lesbian jesus, but there’s a reason for that (besides the obvious). bcuz after hearing her Confession, gideon baptized harrow in that pool.

one flesh one end, bitch.

and also like yeah griddlehark is an enemies to lovers in some ways, but i feel like also not in the typical way you would think about that trope?? bcuz correct me if im wrong but they never really become lovers (and i personally am not sure they ever will). yes they love each other and make the grandest gestures of love imaginable. but that love is inevitably fucked up in some ways and it’s impossible for it to not be.

god that was way too long. anyway. some Nuance is necessary.

[giuliettagaltieri]

Trouble in Paradise

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Chapter Synopsis: It's not always perfect with him.

Warning: Talks about fertility awareness and pregnancy, lifestyle differences.

Word Count: 4075

Chapter: 4

“For someone who lost the love of his life and his career in one day, you sure have a sunny disposition.” 

Charles watches you pull a grocery cart, clearly not aware that your words weighed a little heavier than you meant.

“She’s not the love of my life.  The worst has already happened and I don’t want to dwell in it anymore.”  He mutters quietly but his dimples deepen at the playful quirk of his lips, making you purse your lips.  “Charles Leclerc the F1 driver is gone now and as for the moment I just want to live without the burden of my name.”

You bite your lip this time, watching him as he places the basket on the bottom tray of the cart.

“I’m sorry.”  You bite your lip, your hands immediately fumbling with your bag and Charles notices it.  “I shouldn’t comment so carelessly about your persona-”

“Sweetheart.”  He cuts you off.  “If anything it’s me who should apologize.  I dragged you into my mess and I’m making myself your burden.”

Your eyes widen and you raise your hands as if asking for a double highfive, he glances at your palm when you shake them side to side erratically, trying to dismiss his statement.  “Charles, don’t think for a moment that you’re a burden.” 

He’s about to protest but you cut him off this time.

“I was willing to let you in that night.  And today, I made the decision to let you stay.”  You sigh when he still looks unconvinced.  “Just think of me as a friend.  Friends do stuff for each other, right?”

“I think we’re a bit over friends by now but sure.”  He nudges you gently with his body so he can push the cart instead, his smile widening a fraction and it just infects you for some reason.

“Charles, I’m trying to be serious.  Don’t laugh at me.”  You say as small laughs escape you.

“Alright then.  I’ll consider this as a favor from a friend.”

“Yes!”  You point a finger at him as if he hit the jackpot.  “Not a burden.  Just a favor.  PLUS!  You’re keeping me company, and I quite enjoy it.”  You mumble the last part, avoiding his eyes as your cheeks flush.

He quirks up an eyebrow, his easy smile becoming teasing.  “Of course you enjoy it.  I’m pretty good company.”

Rolling your eyes, you start picking out the groceries and he watches your selection and knows immediately you’re not exactly trying to save money.

“You can pick out a few ingredients or snacks if you want.”  You tell him and his eyes immediately flit to the line of refrigerators in the corner.  You don’t miss when his gaze linger on the ice cream section.  He tells you that he’ll do it later.

Charles stands there as you try to reach for a bottle of olive oil on the top shelf and he enjoys watching your struggle before he gives in and reaches it for you.  “Could've asked for help.”

“Excuse me, I’m perfectly capable of getting that myself.”  You say sassily, with your hands finding your hips but your act wavers when he leans close to you, a hairbreadth of distance keeping your noses from brushing.

“Of course, whatever you say, sweetheart.”

Your eye twitches and he leans back, standing on his full height, forcing you to crane your neck to look at him.  And Charles proves his point.

“My height is average!  You’re just slightly tall.”  You argue, feeling the need to justify your height.

He yawns as he pretends to clean his ear with his pinky.  “What’s with the squeaking?  Maybe the mall should call an exterminator.”

Charles laughs when your cheeks puff.  Reminding him of those sticky rounded sweets he had in Tokyo.  He calls you the exact same thing in French and you don’t know if you should get mad, because you feel like you definitely recognized a word in his sentence but you couldn’t be sure as you don’t speak the language.

You huff this time, marching off to the next aisle.  “You just wait, Charles Leclerc.  I’ll kick your butt with Duolingo.”

He observes that you systematically choose the items, even constantly checking on your phone, looking quite oblivious to the world around you...and the casual stares you get here and there.  Charles looks at you.  Really looks at you.  You’re not the conventional pretty that he usually sees in his world but you have this charm that really drew him in, even last night too, and he was drunk out of his mind.

“Do you prefer wine or beer?”  You ask and he rubs his chin.

“Mh….both.”

You like his style.  

You put a small box of beer cans and a few bottles of wine in the cart.  “We’re not allowed to get drunk together though.”

Charles nods slowly, looking at you thoughtfully.  Ah…so you don’t have any interest in having that kind of relationship with him.  You said it yourself earlier too.  Friends.

“I also need detergent liquid and fabric conditioner.”  You mutter to yourself.  “Oh and your snack.”

“I’ve decided on ice cream.”  He informs you.

“Sure thing.”

Charles watches as you scan each item as he arranges them in the grocery bag.  He grins when you give him the ice cream tub last so he can eat it as you leave.  You also get a small treat of your own, happily munching on it as you walk side by side.  He looks like a child, pushing the cart filled with grocery bags as he eats on the vanilla ice cream he eagerly chose.

“I can push the cart while you eat.”  You tried to offer but he swerved the cart away from your hand, his reflexes nearly startling you.  “Calm…down, man.”  You gape at him and he only scoops more ice cream to his mouth.

“Ayh ghot et.”

You let him be as you enjoy your own snack.  You also watch him load everything in your trunk since he insisted.

“The meat?”  He asks and you pull out a retractable basin and he seems impressed.

“I take care of my baby.”  You pat your car with a lazy smirk.

He hums, the thick accent coating his words after.  “Yeah, pretty good condition.  How long have you been driving her?”

“A little over a year.  So I think she should be in good condition or I would have been a pretty shit owner.”  You chuckle.  Shit owner.  Charles nods wordlessly, reflecting on how he can destroy a car in a single race.

“Right.”

He finishes loading the groceries along with his stuff and almost heads to the driver’s seat before backtracking and going the other way.

The ride home was not as eventful.  You play as a tour guide and point at historic buildings, telling him briefly what you learned from the time you also got a tour of the town.  Charles finds out that the road around town isn’t that complicated and he can easily commit it to memory. 

The area is not bustling but it also isn’t deserted, unlike that night when he first arrived.  The place looked like a ghost town then, with its eerie fog and flickering old fashioned lamp posts.

“How come your apartment doesn’t have cobblestone streets?”  He asks out of curiosity.

“Some of the apartments at the edge of the town were built a little later than the town center.”  You grin quickly at him before turning back to the road again.

He peers out the window and onto the road.  “It’s like we’re in some sort of Victorian drama.”

You laugh.  “It’s one of the reasons why I moved here.  Plus the beach.”

Charles listens in, liking how you’re openly sharing about yourself without being asked.

“It sucks sometimes though, when a stone is dislodged or when it rains or snows.”  You add.

“Gets slippery.”  He finishes for you and you agree, chuckling.

“It’s slowly sinking in that you are what you said you are.”

His eyes widened, immediately looking defensive.  “I am what I said I am!  You searched me.  It’s on Google.”

“I know but you’re just Charles to me.  Not some Monégasque F1 superstar.”  You say gently and he looks at you, surprised at your ability to make him feel things he never had before.  “And just someone playing the passenger princess.”

Oh no, you didn’t.

He looks at you in disbelief but his lips are quirked up.  “No, no.  Get out of there, we’re switching seats.”

“No!”  You immediately laugh when he starts spewing, what you can only interpret as French curses.  “This is my car, don’t take off your fucking seatbelt, dumbass!”  You yell as you clumsily grip his wrist, laughing at the chaos ensuing inside your car.  “Stop it!  We’re gonna crash!” 

He keeps trying to explain how he is NOT a passenger princess and that he has no problem driving if you just let him.  When he almost sounds begging, his hands make those huge gestures again as you tear up in laughter. 

“Sorry, I didn't know it was sensitive.”  You chuckle as he calms down a bit but he still keeps talking, his English breaking when his native language slips in on his sentences.  “Is it like an alpha male thing?”

This makes him look at you weirdly.  “What?”

“Alpha male?  Or what do they say now?  Sigma boy?”  You raise both brows at him briefly, grinning from ear to ear.  “Are you one of those guys, Charles Leclerc?”

He visibly cringes not knowing what to make of the stuff you’re saying.  “That’s fucking stupid.  I don’t even know what that means.  You are very weird.”  He says while side eyeing you.

“Yeah this is the catch when you live with me.”  You say, attempting to sound cool and obviously failing.  “You get to deal with my weirdness.”

He shakes his head, his hand covering the smile on his lips under the guise of smoothening his growing stubble.  “Is this going to be what everyday looks like with you?”

You suddenly glance at him in your normal calculating eyes.  “Not really.  That was just a sudden burst of energy and I will proceed to ignore you for the next three hours now.”

Charles narrows his eyes at you dramatically.  “You’re like a cat.”

“Thanks.”  Nobody told you that before and you don’t know if it’s a compliment or if it was supposed to insult you.  “Seriously though, I need my social battery constantly recharged so you should cherish it when I’m being playful.”

“Minette.”

“What was that?”  You turn to him briefly before slowing down when you arrive at your driveway.

He shakes his head and steps out of the car when you finally park it. 

Charles was quick to head to your trunk and he insisted on taking the grocery bags.  He actually manages to carry every single bag and you’re impressed.  It usually takes you at least two trips to carry two weeks’ worth of groceries, and that was just for one person too.

“I can help.”  You jog after him, watching how his tendons pop out of his arms, making your throat go dry for a moment.

“Just open the door, babe.”  He tells you and you falter in your steps before doing as he says with your tummy fluttering lightly.  “Where’s the kitchen again?”

“Huh?”  You ask dumbly.  “Uhm, over there.  You can place them on the counter, thank you.”  You say a little meekly, still disarmed by his sudden endearment.  You watch his back as he disappears in the kitchen.

“He’s a French guy…it must be natural for them to be endearing.”  You try to reason out before following him to the kitchen to place in the freezer the variety of meat you bought.  “I’ll wash your clothes for you so you can shower.”  You offer and he tongues his cheek.

“No, just teach me how to do it.”

You beam.  “Alright.”  You lead him to your laundry room, tell him which buttons to use and how the cycle goes.  He impresses you when he does it flawlessly when you tell him to try on his own.  “Good job.”  You hum, clearly impressed.

“Oh please, I am not that helpless.”  He rolls his eyes.  And he glances at your feet and does a double take before he jolts in surprise.  “Fuck!”

You glance at your feet, already have felt Lily’s fur.  You bend down to pick her up and you let her face Charles.  “This is my baby, Lily.”  You gently take her paw to wave at Charles who still looks at your cat like it was a spawn of evil.

“Why is it so huge!”  He asks and you immediately take offense.

“I…excuse me, she is the perfect size!  Lily is just fluffy a-and has…big bones!”  You are ready to throw hands if he insults your baby again.

Charles exhales softly and meets the bored feline eyes.  “She looks angry.”

“She always looks angry.”  You coo.  “Don’t you, honey?”  You hug her a little tighter and the cat just stares off into space, letting you do your antics.

“I don’t know.”  Charles laughs nervously.  “Does she scratch and bite?”

You bubble your cheeks before an idea pops into your head.  “I know!  Let her sniff your… scent for now.”

He reluctantly touches his hat.

“I think it’s good if you let her get accustomed to your scent and presence before you start trying to befriend her.”  You mumble, sounding unreliable but it does sound like an okay strategy so he tries it.

Charles takes off his hat and lets Lily sniff it and for a moment she sniffed eagerly at the foreign scent before she turns her nose away, already losing interest.  She hops off your arms and trots to the doorway and you both watch her silently and disappointedly before Lily meows angrily at you.

“Oh!  Her breakfast!”  You hurry to your kitchen to open a can of wet food for her.  “I’m so sorry.”  Your cat meows sharply before eating and ignoring your pets.

“She’s sassy.”  Charles comments as he crosses his arms, looking at your cat.  Kinda like you.

You pull off your scarf and head to the bathroom to clear a space for him.  You give him a towel and tell him to use the small closet in the laundry room for his clothes.  Charles quickly settles in your apartment thanks to your warmth, even going as far as giving him something that he can call his.  He bounces a bit on your fortunately large couch and hums his approval, yeah he can sleep in this thing.  He hears you in the kitchen, organizing the grocery in the pantry and fridge.  He offered to help but you told him to relax on the couch.

The doctor did say to let him rest and to keep him in close monitoring.

Charles does his laundry while you busy yourself with other chores.  Because it’s your house and he feels like you earned it after moving around, Charles tells you to shower first, refusing to budge and insisting on it when you try to argue.  You can be quite stubborn so he guides you to the bathroom, himself.  The brief glance he makes on your pelvis confirms that he does remember what mess he left in there.

When you step out, looking refreshed, he is waiting right outside your bathroom door like he did this morning but he had fresh clothes draped on his arm this time.

“Were you standing there the whole time?”  You chuckle but his face is etched with a different kind of seriousness that you throw any other jokes that come to mind out the window.

“Y/N.”  Your name rolls in his tongue with the thick French accent you’re starting to get used to.

“Yeah?”  You whisper as you meet his eyes.

He sucks his teeth and sighs loudly, looking unsure how to start the conversation.  “I just need to ask you something.”  He clears his throat and rubs his neck, your eyes following all his nervous habits.  “I mean, we slept together, and we did it without protection.”

Oh…it’s that kind of conversation.

You smile sweetly at him.  “Come with me.”  You lead him inside the bathroom where the scent of your body wash fills his lungs as it hangs heavy in the air, he can almost taste your skin on his tongue.  You show him a tiny table calendar resting on the countertop, it sits next to your bathroom products.  He snaps out from his thoughts and watches as you flip it to the previous month where red exes mark some of the dates.  “These are the days when I got my last period.”  You flip it back to the month now.  “My next cycle should be around here.”  You point vaguely to a few dates and your finger traces the calendar backwards, stopping to point to the date today and yesterday.  “It’s a safe window.”

He looks at you to confirm.  “So you won’t get pregnant?”

“No.”  You smile understandingly as he slowly grasps it.  “Sorry, we probably should have talked about it sooner but you know.”

Charles nods before straightening up, feeling relieved to get it out his chest.

“I mean, you’re a great person.”  He tells you quickly, looking almost afraid that he might have insulted you at some point.  “I just…not yet.”  He smiles softly, bringing out his attractive features, and his dimples make your heart skip a beat.  For a split second you wondered what it would be like to have a kid that has his eyes but you manage to not make a fool of yourself in front of him and instead, you nod, feeling the same as him.

“Well, me too.”  You smile tightly, feeling a little flustered and awkward to be talking about these stuff with him suddenly.  “So uhm…”

“Yeah.”  He says, quickly understanding and he steps back to let you through.  You close the bathroom door for him and he glances at your calendar again.  He reaches for it and hesitates as it was personal but he lets the voices in his head win and he flips through them.  Your cycle isn’t as consistent as he thought but considering you did point to multiple dates earlier, he guesses that it might not be an exact date all the time.  “Come on, Charles.  She said it’s a window.”  He reminds himself.

You on the other hand are still pacing in your room, throwing on the first set of clothes you saw, still trying to shake off the effect he had on you.  Charles is a very goofy guy but he no doubt is able to make you swoon without even trying.  You fan yourself with your hand despite the blasting ac.

Charles Leclerc.

Just who exactly is that guy?  You hop on your bed and reach for your laptop, cursing when you drop your airpods, you refuse to get up from your bed and blindly sweep your carpet floor with your hand, constantly glancing at your closed bedroom door as if Charles would burst in at any moment.  You finally manage to grab your airpods, quickly opening Youtube.  “Cha..rl..es…Le..c..le..rc...oh! And F1.”  You jab your finger at enter.

For you don’t know how long, you just watch the shorts with Charles on the F1 channel.

“He’s funny.”  You giggle.  “And an idiot.”  A hot idiot at that.

A knock on your door pulls you out from whatever is running through your head and you slam your laptop close to open the door for him.  He looks at you suspiciously as your chest heaves, looking absolutely guilty.  Charles glances inside your bedroom before looking at you again.

“Can I have one of your granola bars?”

Lunch!  “Oh my, I lost track of time.”  You push your way through and you quickly hand him a granola bar once you get to the kitchen.  “I’ll make us lunch.”

Charles sits on the barstool and watches you make a quick mac n’ cheese.  It’s entertaining how focused you can be.  He thanks you when you place the bowl in front of him but to his disappointment, you leave for your bedroom.

You come back shortly with your ipad this time.  He watches you work on something he has absolutely no idea about.  You feel his heavy gaze and you slowly look at him with wide eyes.

“Sorry, I’m being rude.”

“Well, kind of, yes.”  He smiles kindly and you immediately set your ipad aside. 

“Sorry, I just needed to contact my suppliers.  Usually, I’d be working in the office by now.”

He understands that you probably haven’t had someone over since forever to disrupt your schedule and nods understandingly.  “Oh yeah, you mentioned it earlier.”  He tries to start a conversation.

“Yeah and it's Sunday so I don’t have much time as I need to meal prep for Monday to Wednesday.”  You explain.

“Meal prep?”  He shifts weirdly and you don’t understand it until he asks.  “You mean you eat the same refrigerated meal that you make days before?”

“Well, I always heat them up real well though.”  You argue but he looks resigned from the conversation.  “Don’t judge me.”  You playfully punch his shoulders and he looks at you again.  “It’s still a normal meal but it saves me so much time.”

“I don’t know.”  He tells you honestly and turns back to his food.  It sounds so practical especially with your schedule but it just doesn’t appeal to him.

“Unless I wanna eat take outs for three days, I have to meal prep.”  You say, feeling slightly offended now.

“It just sounds boring having to eat the same meal.”  Charles swallows the food in his mouth.  “Kind of like having leftovers.”

“I don’t just make a single dish and have it for three days straight!”  You tell him defensively.

He nods hastily upon hearing your tone, not wanting to start a full argument.  “…you know, you’re right.”  He smoothes your hair but you’re frowning really deeply.  “But I tried it once before and it didn’t work for me.  I just think that the texture of food would be better if it was made fresh.”

You shove the spoon in your mouth, chewing angrily what’s left of the mac n’ cheese before getting up to leave him for the sink, his hand that was on your hair still suspended in the air as he stares at you nervously.

“Some of us don’t have the luxury of having chefs serve us with meals three times a day.”  You snap and he feels bad immediately.  He doesn’t even have chefs serving him meals…most of the time.  But you get the point.

“I’m sorry.”  He shoves the mac n’ cheese left in his bowl to his mouth and rushes to your side as you frown at the bowl you’re washing.  “I am being so ungrateful.  Y/N, I am really sorry.”

You place the bowl on the drying rack and turn to him angrily but your eyes are glassy and he wants to strangle himself for doing this to you when you have done nothing but be kind and understanding to him.

“Sweetheart.”  He breathes, not knowing what else to say.

“I am doing what I can, okay?”  You say and he watches you blink away tears.  “This isn’t Monaco anymore, Charles.”

He tries to wrap his arms around you but you pull away just as quick.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to insult you.”  He tells you in a hushed tone, leaning down to try and meet your eyes but you’re glaring at the sink instead.

“If you don’t like refrigerated meals then you are free to cook for yourself.”  You say before deciding to give him the cold shoulder.

For the rest of the day, you stay yourself in your office, he hears the printer working and paper being crumpled, along with cellophane.  You’re packing the orders from your business and he knows better than to mess with you again.

You didn’t even get to meal prep.  

Charles doesn’t understand why it bothered him so much before when now as he lies on your couch, meal prepping sounds very practical and smart. 

People can have different lifestyles, he understood that night.  And just because yours is different, doesn’t mean it’s bad.

He’ll have to make it up to you soon.

Overdrive

[kyleoreillylover]

Love Hurts

Liv Morgan x Fem!Black!Reader x Rhea Ripley

Summary: Who really is to blame when Rhea learns through from one Liv Morgan that love hurts when you don't take good care of it when she takes you from her?

a/n: im back!!! took a mental health break, with college, but im easing myself back into writing! missed you all <33

tagged: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbones450 @steakwithasideofmashngravy e@selena-tyler-564@saintaquarius @whatdoeseverybodywant @raya-hunter01 @hope4more

The moment Liv Morgan came to you with that offer, you didn’t give her an answer. Not yet.

You were torn. Rhea Ripley, your longtime friend, was distant—cold even. Focused on revenge. Every conversation felt like an excuse to keep you at arm’s length. You tried to reach out to her, to remind her of the bond you shared, but she was consumed with Liv. Ever since Liv had put her on the shelf, Rhea seemed determined to push you away.

“This is between me and Liv,” she told you, every time you tried to be there for her. She kept locking you out, making it clear that whatever this was, she didn’t want your help. It hurt. It hurt like hell.

And that’s when Liv’s voice started to sound more reasonable in your head.

“She doesn’t care about you the way I do.”  “You could be more with me.”  “They’ve never seen your potential like I do.”

She never pressured you for an answer, not directly. But she was always there—waiting. Every week on RAW or SmackDown, Liv was by your side. Even when you didn’t ask for it, she found ways to help you win your matches. A distraction here, a well-timed assist there. She made sure you knew she was watching your back. You’d shoot her a glare, but she’d wink and blow a kiss, making it impossible to stay mad.

She followed you to your locker room, showed up at your hotel room with takeout, and cracked jokes until you forgot the weight pressing down on your chest. The way she smiled, it was like she already knew what your decision would be. All you had to do was say the words.

And it wasn’t just Liv. Finn, JD, Dominik, and even Carlito—all of them kept dropping hints, planting seeds. They were planning something big. Liv told you they’d kick Damian out after SummerSlam, that they wanted to align themselves with her. They didn’t push you too hard either, but they made it clear: If you join us, you’ll finally have people who see you as family.

It was the way they talked about it—family. Not like what you had with Rhea. Not anymore. Every time Rhea brushed you off, it chipped away at your loyalty. It made you wonder if Liv had been right all along.

SummerSlam

The night of SummerSlam arrived, and you still hadn’t given Liv a straight answer. She told you she didn’t need one—"You'll do what feels right when the moment comes," she whispered with a smirk.

You walk down the ramp with Rhea Ripley, matching her pace, your face unreadable. Tonight’s match is everything for Rhea—a chance to reclaim her title from Liv and settle the score once and for all. She had finally let you back in for this. She needed you, or at least that’s what she made you believe. When you walked out with Rhea that night, she looked over her shoulder at you like old times. The crowd cheered for the two of you, but everything between you felt off—fractured. Still, you stayed close, keeping up the appearance of solidarity.

But even as you stood by her side, something felt off. It wasn’t the same. There was no warmth, no trust. Just strategy and expectation.

The match is brutal—Liv and Rhea tearing each other apart in the ring. It’s fast, chaotic, and exactly what you expected. And then, the moment arrives. The referee goes down, hit in the chaos. Rhea struggles to her feet, her back turned to you as she fights for control.

And just like that, the choice becomes clear.

You step forward, your heart pounding in your chest. Rhea never sees it coming. You drive your forearm into her spine, sending her crashing to the mat. The crowd erupts in disbelief, a mixture of boos and shocked gasps.

Liv looks at you from across the ring, her eyes wide and glimmering with excitement. A wicked smile spreads across her face. She knows what this means.

You help Liv drag Rhea’s limp form toward the center of the ring, watching as she hits her with an oblivion. When the ref stirs and crawls back into place, you stand over Rhea, stone-faced, as the three-count slams the mat.

Liv Morgan retains her title.

And the second the bell rings, Liv jumps into your arms, wrapping her legs around your waist in pure exhilaration. She hugs you tight, her head against yours, and you can hear the smile in her voice as she taunts Rhea:

“I told you... I’m their real best friend now.”

The crowd showers the arena with boos, but Liv doesn’t care. Neither do you. This moment—this victory—belongs to you both.

The next week on RAW, everything felt different. Liv made good on her promise to spoil you like Rhea never did. New gear, tailored to perfection. Expensive makeup, champagne waiting in a private dressing room just for the two of you. She draped her arm around your shoulder, smug as she showed you off to anyone who looked your way.

“This is what it feels like to have someone who really cares,” she whispered before JD walked in with Dom and Finn. They grinned at you, treating you like you’d been one of them from the start. Even Carlito gave you a fist bump, as if to say, Welcome to the family.

Together, you walked out for a promo, the boys flanking you and Liv. The crowd’s boos filled the arena, but you didn’t care. You had them now. Liv stood in the center of the ring, arm wrapped tightly around your waist, grinning as the audience seethed.

Finn took the mic and addressed the elephant in the room: “Rhea and Damian betrayed us first,” he declared, voice cold and deliberate. “They stopped treating us like family. So we moved on. And now... we’re stronger without them.”

You stayed silent but couldn’t help the way your chest swelled at the word family. This was what Liv had been promising all along. The boys welcomed you. Liv cherished you. And Rhea... she’d never given you this.

When Rhea’s music hit, you instinctively stepped in front of Liv, shielding her. Rhea stormed down the ramp, fury in her eyes, and the crowd erupted in cheers. But you weren’t afraid. Not anymore.

Rhea slid into the ring, jaw tight and fists clenched. She glared at Liv and the Judgment Day standing at your side. Her voice trembles with both anger and heartbreak. “You betrayed me,” she hisses at you, fists clenched.

Before you can reply, Liv steps forward with a smug smirk. “Betrayed you? Rhea, you betrayed her first. You shut her out. You don’t know how to treat family, Rhea. Not my fault I'm better at you at that.”

Rhea snarls, taking a swing at Liv, but you catch her arm mid-air. There’s a moment of tension—anger in her eyes, pain in yours. Then, in the heat of the moment, Rhea slaps you across the face.

The tension snapped, and the brawl was brutal—grappling, fists flying, neither of you holding back. You heard Liv shout your name, and suddenly, she was there, slamming her title into Rhea’s back with a sickening thud.

Rhea crumpled, and Liv wasted no time. She grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the ring with her. As you reached the ramp, Liv glanced back at Rhea, a malicious grin curling her lips. “She thought you were hers,” Liv whispered, loud enough for Rhea to hear. “But you’re mine now.”

She laced her fingers with yours and raised your arm, laughing at Rhea’s fury as she lay in the ring. Finn, Dom, JD, and Carlito followed behind, grinning as they embraced you both like sisters-well, except with Dom and Liv. 

"Family," Finn said again, clapping you on the back. "And no one messes with family."

Liv leaned into your side, her breath warm against your ear. "I told you," she whispered. "You made the right choice."

And for the first time in a long time, you believed it.

[iamthatonefangirl]

harvey specter headcanons

if you know me irl, maybe just skip this one!

part two

part three

~~~

harvey specter, who always sends your favorite burnt orange-colored roses to your desk to remind you of how much you mean to him. 

harvey specter, who thinks you shouldn’t want a thing. who gifts them to you before you even mention that new pair of shoes or purse you would love to have. 

harvey specter, who rests his hand on your thigh whenever you’re seated next to each other. no matter the occasion, or where you are. 

harvey specter, who craves your touch every time a new obstacle comes up with a case. who just wants to be with you and forget about every trial and tribulation he has to deal with. 

harvey specter, who can’t fathom your obsession with listening to the same songs over and over again. but behind the scenes, he’s orchestrating VIP tickets for the both of you to go see your favorite artist, before the tour has even been announced. 

harvey specter, who is much older than you, and has to remind himself that the looks you get from strangers don’t matter. who has to pretend to laugh with you when the waitress refers to him as your father, but really, he’s wondering what the hell he’s doing with someone twenty years younger than him. 

harvey specter, who is afraid to tell you he’s in love with you. he knows it, but he can’t get over his fear that you’re going to leave him. he just hopes you won’t leave him before he gets up the courage to tell you, to reassure you that he does love you, that it wasn’t you, it was his own insecurities. 

harvey specter, who lets you get away with everything. when you want him to come home from the office at a reasonable hour, even though he’s drowning in work, he can’t resist the way you say his name when you call his cell and ask him to come home, pretty please, Harvey…

harvey specter, who pays your bills before you even know they’re due. and when you confront him and tell him baby, I have a job, I can pay my own bills just fine but he insists and says it’s his job to make sure you’re taken care of. and if you’re really that concerned about it, he tells you, I have a few ideas of how you can pay me back. 

harvey specter, who doesn’t know what to do when you’re sobbing in pain, feeling completely helpless, trying to ask what he can do to just make your pain stop. and when you’re feeling better, you think he sounds like your mother when he can barely get the words out to tell you I just wish I could take your pain on myself so you don’t have to feel it. it’s the most heartfelt you’ve ever heard him be. and as you gently hold his face as you kiss him, you reassure him that you’re okay, and him being there for you is more than enough. 

harvey specter, who is so art deco!! Lana del ray anyone plz

nsfw ones: (seriously if you know me please leave now)

harvey specter, who slips both hands underneath your dress after a date night at the most expensive restaurant in town. who grips your hips tight as he grinds you down onto him, eliciting a whimper of his name from you, to which he tells you say it again, and you do, over and over again until you’re cumming on his fingers not long afterwards.

harvey specter, who can barely keep up with your young, early-twenties sex drive. but goddamn he does. 

harvey specter, who can’t help but fall to his knees the minute you tell him you get off to the thought of it. who puts his pride aside to give you that satisfaction because he loves you so much. 

harvey specter, who is shocked by how forthcoming you are about your fantasies after being prompted. who wants to try all of them immediately, but has to remember that patience is a virtue.

~~~

masterlist

tag list

[literallyjusttoa]

Finally got around to doing this, here are some rough sketches of my idea of how Lester looks each book! Some books are more different than others, like I don't think much changed between books 1 and 2, but I had fun doing this! Look under the cut for some notes about things I added for each design.

Book 1: Not much changes from how he's described in the books. All of the clothes he borrowed from Percy are a bit too big for him, but the flannel he borrowed from Will fits pretty well, only being slightly too long (I think Will has like, an inch over Lester)

Book 2: Basically the same as book 1 Lester. He keeps the flannel Will gave him, but it gets pretty beat up over the course of this book so he has to switch it out before book 3 :(. Hair is just a lil bit longer, and he gets clothes that fit a bit better. Headcanon time bc if Rick won't give me substantial Thalia and Apollo interaction I'll make it myself: Thalia gives Lester archer's gloves at the end of TDP, which he wears for the rest of the series. He didn't even think to wear gloves bc as a god he wouldn't need them, but Thalia noticed his beat up to shit hands at the Waystation and went "bestie... bestie no...." and gave him a pair.

Book 3: Will's flannel has been swapped for a big coat and Lester get his iconic pink camo pants. His hair is long enough to start getting weighed down a bit, and also way messier bc he's been in the labyrinth for like a month. The beat up sneakers he was wearing in books 1 & 2 get replaced with much more reasonable boots. Eyebrow scar shows up, a reminder from one of the many concussions this poor man has suffered. Also another HC time! Georgie gives Lester a little handkerchief that he wears for the rest of the series (I was gonna use Paolo's handkerchief, but Lester canonically gives that back so boo)

Book 4: The Lester looks like shit book /j. His hair is now long enough that he should really be doing something with it but he is not. He has a zip up hoodie now to cover up all his fun purple veins. Just more beat up in general honestly. Also I hc that Apollo actually lost some weight here (both bc he wasn't really eating well before getting to New Rome bc of stress/grief, and bc he got really sick and continued to not eat well while that was happening) But it obviously doesn't do anything to help his self-esteem or mood in this book. Kind've a visual way of being like "the superificial flaws Apollo clung to in the first book weren't the real issue, he was just hyperfixating on them to distract himself from what he was really upset about, so when the superficial issues get solved he doesn't even notice bc he's grown enough as a character to cut the bullshit and focus on what's really bothering him." or idk something like that. I like to contrast this with a hc I've mentioned before about the time between books 4 and 5, which is that the physical flaws Apollo whined about in book 1 (i.e. the acne and his weight) get "worse" throughout the road trip from California to New York, but Apollo truly just does not care that much about that shit anymore and that's why it doesn't come up in the narration.

Book 5: Final Lester! It's been over a month since the last book so I'm taking liberties and saying Lester's hair is long enough to pull up now bc I want him to be able to do that goddammit. Final outfit is borrowed from Percy again, so that's why it's so big. He also has a pendant that Lavinia gave to him bc they're besties. Also I forgot to mention it, but his shoulders are slightly broader here (and have been getting broader throughout the series) bc he's been working those muscles so much with the constant archery.

Also I didn't draw his quiver bc honestly I forgor, but I like to imagine he's been getting little pins and bobs from a lot of his friends that he's been sticking on his quiver strap. A few examples that come to mind are:

Kayla: A classic hot topic pin with a sun with sunglasses on it.

Leo: A pin made of scrap metal with the alchemical symbol for fire carved in.

Agave: Pinned a clover to Apollo's quiver for good luck. It didn't stay on there long, but it was the thought that counted.

Hazel: A piece of citrine decorated with metal cords.

Lavinia: Another classic hot topic pin, this one is heart shaped and has a picture of Hatsune Miku on it.

Jason: One of the monopoly houses he'd been using to mark the positions for the temples. A lot of the little houses had fallen off the diorama during the car crash at the beginning of TTT. The night after, Apollo asked Reyna if he could make sure the diorama was fixed. Reyna agreed, and he put it back together based on what he remembered. He spent an hour or so gluing on houses and hotels for Mars, Somnus, Fons, Salus, and on and on, until he got to the last one. A red hotel meant to show where the temple of Apollo would go. Apollo poked a little hole in it, and fastened it to his quiver with a bobby pin. It's nestled close to where the strap meets the quiver itself, so it's less likely to fly off.

Meg: Pinned a rose petal to his quiver right before he went to fight Python. It lasted for even less time than Agave's clover did, but again, it was the thought that counted.

[lokisprettygirl]

Come As You Are (Eric Draven! Bill Skarsgard's Version x Female Reader) (18+) (Slight Au)

Read chapter 2 here

Chapter 3

Summary : Eric wants to push you away but he can't when you look at him like that. You learn the reason behind one of his scars.

Warning: 18+, smut later, Eric is a past drug addict with suicidal tendencies, self harm, use of cuss words, description of claustrophobia, reader is in her early thirties, mention of sexual assault, death and murder, Consumption of alcohol and weed

After you returned from the grocery shopping you saw him leaning against the wall next to his door, smoking a cigarette, right under the smoke alarm. That obviously didn't work. He didn't look like he had been run over by a garbage truck anymore, he seemed freshly showered, his hair was still wet. So wet.

He had put on a simple black t-shirt again. You were starting to think he didn't own many colours.

You shook your head before you placed the bags down on the floor to take out your keys from the pocket of your jeans.

He was expecting you to say something but when you didn't he put the cigarette butt down and then crushed it under his boot, his eyes lingered over your jeans clad ass for a moment before he walked towards you and grabbed your arm to turn you around, the keys fell down from your hand at the sudden gesture.

Wasn't he just screaming at your face asking you to stay away from him? This man had worse mood swings than that of a pregnant lady.

You looked up at him and he was just staring at you with his big green eyes.

“What?” You asked so he took out a small torch looking gadget from his pocket and opened your palm to keep it there. It looked like a keyring.

“Ummmm what is this?” You looked at him confused so he scratched his neck.

“It's a mini taser” he said with such disinterested nonchalance you had to do a double take.

“What?”

“Never heard of a taser?”

“I know what a taser is..but .. what..why are you giving me this?” you asked him, you did appreciate the gift though, especially after that incident in the alley.

“I don't know .. consider it a gift, it was your birthday.. it's not like a cop level taser but it gets the job done, small enough to keep in your pocket, effective enough to have a man want to latch onto his mama’s titties again” he said as he crossed his arms and stared down at you.

“Okay..thanks i guess..you didn't have to get me anything”

He really didn't.

“Well I did..you gave me beer and cake..so a gift for a gift” he spoke, his voice gentle for once. And the super hot kissing session, he forgot to add that.

“I feel like I'll end up tasing myself with this” you said as you looked at it.

“Under what circumstances would that even happen?”

“I don't know..”

He chuckled at the response before he bent down and picked up your keys to give it to you, then he stepped away from you.

“Eric.. about -” you were going to ask him about the blood bath but he cuts you off as if sensing your question already.

“Don't ask questions..I can't tell you anything about what I do” you huffed as he said that.

“That's now how it works with me”

“It doesn't have to ..let's just be good old incurious neighbours to each other” he raised his brows in that annoying smug manner and that only pissed you off further.

“Well then you should know that incurious neighbours don't buy each other gifts” you said as you walked towards him and kept the taser on his palm, that's when you saw the long scar that ran sideways on his palm, on both of them, you hadn't noticed them before. You also saw the self harm scars riddled on his wrist, you didn't need to be told what they were. He regenerated and healed now but those scars from his past life never healed even when he cut over them they healed with them still on his body, as if to always remind him of his past.

“How did you get this?” you asked him, your fingers traced gently over his palm, making him wince in response.

“What did I just say to you about us not being nosy with each other?” you glared at him as he said that.

“Goodnight then” you said as you turned around but he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his chest. He was really pissing you off, so much so that you wanted to kiss him again. Have that feeling of mind numbing euphoria that you had experienced with him last night.

“Will you keep the gift if I tell you about the scar?” He tilted his head as he questioned so you nodded in response.

“Yeah”

He sighed as you said that, you were being so difficult for no reason.

“An accident I had as a child” he answered to shut you up but that wasn't enough obviously.

“Tell me more..What happened?” He gulped as you asked him, he didn't really enjoy thinking about that day,let alone talking about it but the determination on your face made him waver, besides he really did want you to have the taser for your own safety..

“Family had a horse, my mama..she uh sent me to buy stuff for her” he looked away as he spoke, by stuff he meant alcohol that he shouldn't have been asked to buy as a child, he wasn't even looking at you at the moment, this has always been something he didn't like sharing, he had never gotten into much detail about it even to Melody “When I came back from the shop I found him mangled around in the barb wire, he had gotten old, he wasn't supposed to be out.. shouldn't have been out” he looked down as he finished speaking so you followed his gaze, your fingers continued to trace over the scar.

“You tried to free him from the wires..that's how you got these..right?” You asked him softly, when he finally looked at you, you noticed his eyes were moist as if he was relieving the memory of his dying horse. Those tattoos on his back made sense now to you, they were a reminder. Guilt perhaps.

He had given you a peek into his past, a glimpse of his childhood, and you knew that was just the beginning, he was a troubled man but what led him to be this way? So closed off and so guarded? You wanted to learn more about him, read every chapter of his life like a book.

“I'm so sorry that happened to you eric” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him, your face smushing between his chest. He was taken aback for a moment, not really knowing how to respond, it has been a while since he had been held this way with such warmth. And he despised it. He didn't want to get used to this feeling, it would only bring him pain and hurt, not to forget he couldn't be seen with you, he was on the radar of so many awful people, he might have been invincible now but you weren't.

Despite his heart screaming at him to pull himself away from your clutch he placed his hands behind your head and held you like that for a moment before he pulled your head away from his chest, his fingers went under your chin to make you look up at him.

“Dont make a habit out of this” he spoke, voice gruff and strict like a school teacher.

“Habit out of what?” you feigned innocence.

“Extorting information out of me like this when I'm just trying to be a good neighbour by getting you a birthday gift like a neighbour should”

You didn't say anything but your eyes spoke volume to him. He had a feeling you were going to make a habit out of this. And he had a feeling every time you'd look at him with those soft eyes he'd give in and reveal things about his past that he shouldn't.

“I’ll try Mr Draven.. if you get hungry..I'm making lasagna and like a good neighbour I'm willing to share it with you, it's up to you though..knock anytime..thanks for this again” you said as you grabbed the torch looking taser from his palm and pulled away from him before you turned around to grab your grocery bags to get back in your apartment.

“Yeah well use it” you heard his voice, quiet and mumbly as you closed the door, then you put the bags down and leaned against the door as you breathed in deeply, every time he was close to you, you felt alive in ways you had never felt before, it seemed cliche but that's just how you felt, not to forget how tingly every inch of your being was whenever you were around him, that sensation of his touch, how he smelled, how desperately you wanted to hold him when he looked at you, all of it was creeping up on you from head to toe and it was happening so fast you didn't even know what even was happening to you anymore.

You had a crush on him that you knew, just the mere thought of it felt ridiculous, you should have been married with children by now, that's what everyone tried to tell you, but you couldn't really help how you were starting to feel about him, especially after the way he had kissed you last night and how greatly you had enjoyed it.

After that ridiculously gentle encounter with you Eric sat down in his room with his pencil and paper as he sketched and sketched, it was a picture of you in that dress you had worn last night, been a while he had seen someone so beautiful but so unique at the same time, you were a proper woman to him, a work of art, curves in all the right places but that wasn't what intrigued him about you, it was always those damn eyes that always tried to read through him.

He remembered that night in the alley, you were so terrified, so trapped, he had been onto those assholes and was waiting to catch them in the act, he thought he'd have to rescue you like he had rescued plenty of women from degenerates like them in the past but then you passed out, just dropped unconscious as if a switch had been flipped, he had never met someone who lacked both flight and fight response so tragically.

But there was a moment before you gave up, a fleeting moment when he had seen those terrified eyes of yours, filled with dread and absolute fear, that look stayed with him, he could have just left you somewhere safe and be done with it like had done a plenty of times before but since the moment he saw those eyes of yours, they never left him, they followed him around like a ghost, begging to be saved and protected from the evils of the world.

He could smell the scent of freshly baked lasagna coming from your apartment but he didn't go knock on your door even though his stomach grumbled, he resisted the urge to go see you again.

An hour later you knocked on his door instead, when he opened it, he didn't see you but found a box of lasagna placed on his doorstep with a sticky note attached to it.

‘A Gift for a gift. Try to enjoy it grumps’

“Fuck” he murmured under his breath as he read it, he walked inside his apartment but then he came back out almost immediately, running his fingers through his hair in frustration he finally gave in and knocked on your door.

“Ever been up on the roof?”

He asked so you gave him a sheepish smile.

Ten minutes later both of you were enjoying the lasagna on the rooftop with the view of the..well dump. He offered you his black jacket because it was getting chilly so now he was just shirtless with all his tattoos on display as if the weather didn't affect him at all.

“I have a question” you said as you put the plate to the side after you were done eating.

"Of course you do” he chuckled and then he licked the fork clean before setting down his own plate. Just that simple gesture made you think of obscene things, you couldn't help but clench your thighs to get rid of those pesky sensations.

"How do you decide what tattoos to get?” you asked and watched his face light up for a moment.

“I just get’ em..gotta say though some of these are drug induced errors” you giggled as he said that. So Mrs Bonnie did have some truth to her words about him being an addict.

“Like the nipple eye one?” You asked him, making him smile, god he had a beautiful smile. Why didn't he smile more often?

“Touché.. I actually wanted that, thought it was cool and edgy when I was twenty” you smiled as he said that before a thought began to bother you.

“Do you still take them? Drugs I mean?” His smile faltered momentarily but then he raised his brows up.

“No, don't need them anymore, get my fix in other ways now” he answered truthfully as he winked. Well poking the eyes out of devil worshippers had a different sort of kick to it.

“Well I'm glad you're clean and sober now, does that feel good?” you asked another question.

“It feels alright i guess”

“Did you design these tattoos yourself since you draw and stuff?” you asked sheepishly.

“Snooping around ..were you?”

“Don't blame me, you had it all around your room”

Indeed, he just hoped you hadn't seen the ones that included you.

“Some of them are mine..some of them were done by a dear friend”

“Hmm will I ever see this friend around? All i see is a hoard of ladies” he chuckled as you said that before he looked away.

“You can't..he's dead”

Your smile disappeared as soon as he said that. Good god this man had been through a wringer and you had a feeling you hadn't scratched even the surface yet.

“I’m sorry i keep asking stupid questions” you mumbled softly so he smiled and shook his head.

“You can't help yourself can you, you're so nosy”

“I won't confirm or deny that statement” he chuckled again as you said that. The last time he felt this way was with Melody, though most of their initial relationship was spent in a drugged foggy haze “You can be nosy if you want, ask me about my life..if tomorrow i die mysteriously and cops come over and question you about me, what will you tell them?” you said to him so he glared at you.

“Dont joke about it, it's not funny” he spoke sternly and you realised how unfunny and insensitive you were being after he told you about his dead horse and dead friend in the same day. Was he afraid of losing you to death? You wanted to be completely delusional and think yes. Of course he was afraid of losing you, he had known you for four weeks after all and you had spent most of those days fighting with each other.

“Okay” you said to him before you spoke again “I have another question”

“They never really end do they?” you shook your head as he said that.

“Are we just going to pretend that we didn't kiss last night?” You asked him as you crawled towards him on your fours, your nose almost touching his own as you reached closer.

“Its better this way” he murmured softly.

“Why?”

“Because I said so” he mumbled again.

“Since when am I listening to you?”

“Since now”

His eyes lingered over your lips, you looked good in his clothes he couldn't deny that but he seemed adamant about his decision so you sat back down on your knees to give him some space, as much as you didn't want to.

“Why don't you have a normal boyfriend?” he asked you to get rid of the sudden sexual tension you had created by crawling towards him and asking him about the sin he had committed last night with you.

“By normal you mean someone who doesn't come home drenched in blood?”

“Quit with the sass and answer me” he said as he lit up a cigarette.

“Well men are not interested in me and I'm not interested in them” he scoffed as you answered him.

“I don't believe that for a second, the part about men not being interested in you”

“No I'm serious..I'm thirty two right? In case you didn't know because I look so young”

“Really? Could have fooled me for a teenager” he mocked.

“Right. Anyways..you see men in their twenties are dating women in their twenties and men my age are dating women in their twenties. Men in their late thirties and forties are dating..well can you guess?” You asked him so he gave you a smile. Cute wasn't something he often used for a woman but he did find you cute when you seemed so animated “Yes that is correct.. they're dating women in their twenties because they can” you finished even though he hadn't really guessed or given any response to you “So my options are eighteen year old boys who for some reason keep hitting on me and or fifty year old married men with children and I'm not interested in any of that” he let out a snicker as you said that. Prettiest women often had the most ridiculous insecurities.

“Wow, you speak of yourself as if you're decaying, you're barely in your thirties, I'm sure men your age want to date you but you shoot them down as soon as you can”

Well he wasn't really wrong but then it wasn't your fault that you had no interest in dating someone if you didn't want to fuck them. You had done the whole ‘let's date because there's emotional compatibility’ thing and regretted it because at the end most men are purely sexual creatures.

“I'm a waitress, i promise you there are no prince Harrys lining up for me out there..enough about me.” you said as you grabbed the cigarette from him and took a small drag.

He was so intrigued by your charm that he hadn't realised he was being watched from a distance, someone had been keeping an eye on him.

A link from his past, an enemy he didn't even know existed but was after his blood now and that enemy would do anything to hurt him as much as Eric had hurt him when he killed Vincent Roeg.

Later that night he heard a knock on his door again and he didn't have to guess who it was.

“You forgot your jacket” you said as he opened his door, you had your arms crossed, the jacket still clinging around on your body, he hated the thought of his jacket smelling so sweet like you now, as if he wasn't being tortured enough as it was. He sighed as he placed one of his palms on the frame of the door. He then grabbed the collar of his jacket with his other hand and pulled you closer to him. The moany gasp that left your mouth at the gesture made his cock hard in a second.

“Don't do this to me” he said as he slipped his jacket off your shoulders, the revealing tank top you had on underneath made him drop the jacket right on the floor, he couldn't help but curse profanities under his breath.“Don't fucking do this to me y/n”

“What am I doing Eric?” you asked as you looked up at him,

“Don't play stupid with me, you knew what you were doing when you put this on and knocked on my door” he said as his fingers pulled the strap of your tank top and then gently grazed over your now erect nipples that were straining through the thin fabric of the tank top.

“You're the one touching me” you mumbled, voice completely breathless, you were surprised you were still on your feet somehow and your voice was still intact.

He suddenly had his palm wrapped around your throat as he pushed you against the wall next to the door, the only light coming into his dark apartment was the one from the hallway and they reflected right through his eyes. God he looked dangerous in that moment, dangerous and sexy.

“Don't play games with me sweetheart, doesn't suit you, you look so stupid right now you know that hmm?” he said as his thumb rubbed over your lips, why did he his words turn you on so much when you'd have felt so insulted if it was said by some other man “I'm not the type of man you would ever want or need in your life” he said to you, his voice gruff but there was a hint of passion.

“How do you know what I need or want?” you asked, albeit a bit boldly.

“Oh I don't. And I don't want to know. Honestly what's wrong with you huh? What kind of girl sees a man drenched in blood and instead of turning the other way she willingly crashes into him over and over again” he whispered against your mouth, it took everything to not latch your lips to his own, just so he'd stop talking and kiss you like he was supposed to.

“I lose my damn mind around you” you mumbled as you placed your hand on his wrist.

“That much is evident”

His grip on your throat loosened, not that it was tight enough to hurt to begin with, you were actually enjoying it, you were going to think about it all night long, he then slowly stepped away from you, much to your disappointment.

He was conflicted, a part of him wanted to fuck you and be done with it, perhaps once the mirage is broken you'd stop being so interested in him after that, but then another part of him feared he'd go completely insane if he was to touch you like that, he feared he'd get addicted to keeping you in his bed every night if he had a taste of you.

“I'm trying to keep you safe y/n, you shouldn't get too close to me, it's for your own good” he said to you, hoping for once you'd listen to him.

“Okay” you nodded as he said that, you felt disappointed and embarrassed, but you understood his point, he had lost people before, he had been hurt and perhaps he blamed himself for all of it, that's why he was so guarded and afraid of forming attachments. You weren't very keen on doing so either but there was something about him that made all the rational thoughts go extinct in your head.

That night as Eric finally laid down in his bed, he had a nightmare, a terrible nightmare about that night him and Melody were attacked in his loft, when they killed her right in front of him and he didn't do anything to save her, he just yelled and screamed like the weak pathetic boy he was, the dream was so vivid and then that dream ended up in a sleep paralysis which had him clenching and sweating profusely on his sheets.

When he woke up he felt like he was being suffocated again so he sat up on his bed and placed his head between his palms as he allowed the tears to shed. He had to let them out once in a while or he knew they would just continue to build up until he'd crumble on his knees and he couldn't afford that luxury any longer, he couldn't run towards drugs and live an ignorant blissful life.

Why was he so alone? Why did Melody leave him like that? He wasn't an easy person to love. He knew that very well, but he tried, with Melody he tried so hard to keep her, she died and he felt he had lost her forever but he got the chance to have her back and then she left him, just like that. How could she?

He wiped his tears before he laid down again. After trading his soul he knew he'd never be normal again, he thought doing god's work would lessen some of the guilt he carried but it didn't. Not really.

Melody loved him, he felt her love when they were together but then if she did why didn't he have his soul returned to him the moment he had brought her back?

Kronos told him if there was true love in his destiny his soul would unite with him someday but that didn't happen with her.

The thought of you crossed his mind briefly, why did you stumble upon his life? He had given up on forming human connections until you came along and now you were gently forcing yourself in his life more and more everyday and for once he felt powerless, he knew it would hurt, he knew it would hurt so badly when he'd give into those eyes of yours and would let out his demons in front of you and then just like Melody you'd turn around to walk out on him but a part of him wanted to go through that pain, feel things other than just misery and loneliness.

He wanted to remember what it felt like to be loved again but at the end of the day he knew you didn't deserve someone like him. He knew he'd only endanger your life somehow.

What he didn't know at the moment was that he already had.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Taglist: @m-riaa @erebus-et-eigengrau @peachychyy

[christopher-bangnaldoskzz]

Soft Dom Bangchan x Female Reader Sub!

Genre: DARK ROMANCE

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: This is strictly 18+ MDNI fan fiction.

Summary: A sub needs a dom, a dom wants a sub but what happens when feelings overlap with contracts and love creeps in? Will a contract remain only a contract? Or are emotions like love too hard to keep in check?

A/N: would also like to dedicate this story to @daceydeath​ , thank you for always putting up with my deluluness, also thank you for putting up with my drama fill life honestly. I wouldn’t be still writing if it wasn’t for you encouraging me. Also thank you so much for writing my summary xx

You walked into the living room, relieved to be out of that uncomfortable outfit. The shower helped you relax, but you were still uneasy about the situation. Chan smiled at you from the couch, gesturing for you to join him. "Come, Princess."

You snuggle into his warm embrace, nestling your head on his chest. His strong yet gentle arms wrap around you, making you feel safe and cared for. As you listen to the steady beating of his heart, he leans down and places a tender kiss on the top of your head.

"I uh want to talk to you about something," he said, adjusting his body and causing you to sit up straight. 

"Sure, what about?" You say, getting comfortable on the couch, turning to face him and crossing your legs.

"Last night….I ah," he was really struggling to get the words out. You grab his hands in yours, hoping it will help him get them out, lightly stroking your thumb over his knuckles. 

He takes a deep breath before saying, "I heard you crying. . . because of me." You smile lightly but think to yourself that's only half true. Chan had yelled, and that's what started the tears at first. But really, you were mostly mad at yourself.

You take a deep breath. "It wasn't your fault. I was disappointed in myself for not being honest." Your gaze falls to the ground as you speak. You never wanted Chan to feel guilty for expressing his feelings.

Chan looks at you with soft eyes. "All I want is for you to trust me. That's been my goal this whole time." He gently lifts your chin up so you're looking at him. You notice his gaze drift down to your lips briefly before returning to your eyes.

You looked at him, unsure of what to say. "I don't know why I didn't tell you earlier."

He softly caressed your lips with his thumb and whispered, "It's okay. I just want you to know I'm sorry." 

Leaning in, placing his lips on yours, time seems to stand still. Chan's soft lips press against yours, consumed by the intoxicating feeling of his hands caressing your hips. His tender kiss leaves you breathless. 

Your eyes remain shut as he pulls away, giggling cutely as he realises you are chasing his kiss. 

……

"I have to go", you said, trying to grab your bag from Chan's hands. 

In an effort to keep you there longer, he pulls it away from you playfully as you attempt to grab it. "Chan," you say, pouting as he laughs, "I really have to go. I have to pack. The movers are coming next week." 

"Oh, that reminds me." He placed your bag and did a light jog to the main bedroom.

"This is not how I wanted this weekend to go….but I was supposed to give you this last night." He came down the hallway with a jewellery box, running his fingers through his hair.

"Open it", he smiled as he handed it to you. You snap open the box, and inside is a key. Your head shoots up to look at Chan as you blush. "It's the house key….I wanted to give this to you last night at dinner, but….we got rudely interrupted." 

He was right. This weekend did not go according to plan at all. The fact that you may not see each other for a couple weeks while Chan goes to Japan for his dome tour, resulting in you having to pack up your apartment alone, makes you sad. You thought this weekend was going to be some sort of sex-filled dream. However, that did not end up happening for obvious reasons. "I may not see you for two weeks", you pout as you suddenly become in no rush to leave. 

"Mmm," he hummed as he pulled you closer to his body. "See, you should stay," he smiled as his nose brushed your cheek, giving you goosebumps. "I have a lot of other things I was planning this weekend that we didn't get to do." He placed a light kiss just below your earlobe.

"We can't. You have a flight at 6 am tomorrow….and I have the movers coming at 9," you said, placing my hand on his chest, trying to put some space between the both of you. 

"But 2 weeks without you may just kill me." There he goes again, being all sweet. 

"But when you return, I'll be fully moved in." You smile, kissing his lips with a light peck. 

He glides his hand down your back, realising you're not wearing a bra. He pulls you in closer, lightly brushing his thumb over your nipple, instantly making it hard. 

"When I come back, I want to take you out on a real date," he said out of breath.

"I'd love that" you smiled, gripping your bag and stepping out of his reach, his hands falling to his sides. "Bye, Channie," you say sweetly.

…..

Monday 

M🥰

"About to leave for the plane… I'll text you when I land." 

You send him a picture of the live YouTube video you are watching of the airport. 

M🥰

“Are you watching me 😳…..are you sure you are not a stalker 😉” 

Y/n 

"Fine, I'll turn it off." 

M🥰

"No, I find it adorable." 

Y/n 

"Safe flight, sir." 

M🥰

"I'll call you tonight." 

It was only a short time before the YouTube live you had streaming on the TV went active, showing the guys rocking up to the airport. 

The camera zoomed in on Chan, making a heart shape with his hands. "Dork", you laughed, shaking your head. 

As they walked through the airport, you couldn't help but be nervous for them as people started swarming around them to get any sort of photos or even a quick touch from them. 

Your heart beats so fast in your chest as one of the members falls; you can visibly see the frustration in Chan's face as he struggles to keep himself calm. Eventually, they push through the crowd and head to security clearance. 

Y/n

"Omg….are you all okay?" 

M🥰

"I'm fine" 

Y/n

"Is it always that hectic?" 

M🥰

"Yes" 

His short answer makes you believe he is indeed angry. You decided to call him.

"Hello," he must be in professional mode.

"I know you said you're fine….but you're texting like you're angry." You just came out with it. 

"Guys, I just have to take this. I'll be back…order me something," he excused himself from the group. 

"Did you see the way they just swarmed us?" He snapped. "They could have hurt Ji", he growled.

"It's okay…just breathe." You could hear him take a deep breath in. 

"Thank you," he said, breathing out. 

"Okay, good….now have a safe flight," you said, about to hang up. 

"Wait…" He said quickly. "Did you see my heart? I did it for you?" Even through the phone, you could see him blushing. 

"Mmmmm….I did…. You're a dork," you laughed. "I better let you go. Text me when you land", you smile.

"What… you're not going to watch YouTube live", he chuckled.

"I ah…think I'll give it a miss….it made me nervous," you said 

"Cute, you worried about me." You could tell by how he said that sentence that he was grinning. 

"Bye, Channie," you said before hanging up. 

But you couldn't help yourself; when the video of the boys arrived in Japan, you ran to the TV; this time, it was a much calmer arrival.

They looked so happy and excited to be there. Chan even smiled and waved at the camera, almost like he knew you were watching. Chan pulls out his phone as they walk outside and into the car.

M🥰

"I made it, princess….in the car on the way to the hotel." 

Before you could reply, your doorbell went off. "Coming," you said, running to the door. 

……..

You had been so busy moving that a week and a half had gone by in no time, and it was finally time to move your stuff into channies officially. Well, the things you took with you. 

When you arrive at his house, Chan calls you to meet the small moving van you hired. 

"Hello," you say sweetly.

"How's the moving going?" You know he is watching you on the camera. He has them everywhere. 

"Are you watching me?" You laughed. 

"I'm always watching you… it's my favourite pastime." 

"That's creepy, Chan," you say as he laughs. "But while I have you…where would you like the couch you requested me to bring?"

"In the living room," he laughed.

"Chan, don't we should just get a new couch? Mine is so old." 

"I love that couch..." 

"It's ugly," you say, rolling your eyes. 

"It's not ugly… it's perfect." 

"Whatever?" you mumble. "I have to go….. they're here." 

"Okay, I'll see you in a couple of days", he said before he hung up. 

CHAN POV 

Ting Ting

I open my eyes to check my phone. "Fuuuckkk", I growl as tears begin to form in my eyes from the light's rays. 

"Unknown number", I whisper to myself. I don't want to wake Minho up from his sleep. 

Unknown number

"Don't worry, buddy…. I've been looking after her."

My heart races as I re-read the message, desperately hoping it wasn't meant for me. As I clumsily grab my phone, almost hitting myself in the process, I frantically open the camera app with shaking hands. Scrolling through the outdoor security feeds, my blood runs cold when I don't see her bedroom light on. Dear God, where could she have gone? The house sits empty as I plead for her to be safe inside. I feel a sense of dread wash over me - where is she? Please let her be here. 

I flick the camera into the master suite, and my panic subsides. "Oh, thank God," I breathe. She's curled up all cozy under my silk sheets. I watched her breathing so calmly and peacefully for a few minutes. Her chest rose and fell with such grace; she was simply stunning with her lips pressed together in the cutest sleepy pout. If I were there right now, I would not be able to control myself from planting the biggest kiss on those beautiful lips. My body gets all tingly just thinking about it, and I can't help but push those thoughts aside for now. The worst part about sharing rooms on tour is honestly not being able to care for myself whenever the urge hits. But now that I know she's safe and sound asleep, I continue to check the house for signs that she is alone. I don't care if I have to watch these cameras night and day; I will not let anyone touch her.

………

Morning finally arrives, and I open my eyes to find that Y/N has left our bed. This is the first time I've even had a thought like that about a woman… "Ours," I say softly, still staring at my phone screen. It's such a strange concept to me. The thought of sharing with a person makes me so happy. I look over at Minho, who is still asleep. Thank God…the last thing I need is for him to wake up and find me staring at my security cameras like a possessive monster. 

But that's what I am, a man obsessed with her, and after last night's text message, I need to hear her voice. Seeing her on my house camera is not enough. 

I step into the hallway as the phone rings. Minho is still sleeping but shouldn't hear me if I keep my voice low. 

"Hey you", her sweet voice was like music to my ears.

"Hey," I say back, and my nervousness vanishes. 

"What's up?….why are you calling so early?" I can hear her talking with her mouth full. 

"Is now a good time to talk?" I say, and I'm hoping she agrees to continue this conversation because now that I have her, I don't want to let her go. 

"Sorry…. I'm just eating breakfast….is everything okay?" I can see her now in my kitchen, eating toast and frowning. 

"Yeah…..I just ah," fuck how do I say this without seeming like an utterly love-sick puppy? "I ah", I keep choking on my words. Why can't I just say it? 

"I miss you too, Channie." I can hear her giggling on the other end, and it makes me smile to know she misses me just as much. 

"That obvious, huh?" I look at the floor as I kick my foot out. 

"That, and I figured you'd call me after I heard you snoring through the camera system this morning" My eyes widened…..could she really hear me snoring FUCK. 

"I ah….I can explain," I panic, fuck, who am I going to explain this without her thinking I'm an absolute creep.

"I'm just joking, sir….When I woke up this morning, I saw the red light and figured you were just checking in." The strain in my chest subsides as I relax my muscles. 

"I hope it's okay that I slept in your bed last night." I want to correct her and say our bed inside. I chuckle.

"Of course….keep it warm for me." I smile and hear what sounds like Minho walking towards the door.

"I have to go, but I'll call you later, okay?" I hang up the phone before she can answer me, and just in time as well….because as I place my hand on the door handle and open it, Minho practically falls out. 

"Spying on me…are we?" I laugh as Minho groans on the floor.

"Who are you even talking to this early?" He squints his eyes as he looks up from the ground. 

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I say, stepping over him and back into the room. 

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." Minho gets up off the floor as I charge my phone. 

"I'm going to take a shower", I say, grabbing my towel and heading into the bathroom. 

"Oh, and Minho," I say, peeking my head out and catching him red-handed, looking at my phone. 

"No peeking, yeah", I laugh as I turn back into the bathroom; he could try to get into my phone; however, I changed the code as soon as Y/N and I got together. 

……..

For the first time, I think I actually miss someone. All the boys have gone out to eat and walk around Tokyo sitting, and I can't help but lay here in my shared hotel room and watch CCTV footage of y/n in my house. 

I wish I was there to help her; it's not like I can go home early, either. We have our show tonight. However, after our last show in Tokyo, the boys decided to stay for a couple of days. Still, I was reluctant to because everything I needed was at home. 

I've been sitting on the Korean Air website, deciding if a 6am flight back home is going to piss the boys off or not. They would be supportive if they knew why, but it's too early to let them know I'm seeing y/n. Especially when they only know her as a JYPE staff member.  

"What are you doing?" Minho said, coming out of the bathroom.

"Do you think the guys would be offended if I left tomorrow?" A question I only trust Minho to answer.

"Want to get home that fast?" 

"I just have so much I need to do….I just really don't have time for a holiday right now." A few days off with the boys would be fun; a few days off with y/n is my priority. After we had that huge fight before I left, I felt I needed to make it up to her. 

"I think they won't mind", he said, drying his hair with the towel. 

"Okay, I'll book this ticket then," I said, moving my hand to click the checkout button. 

Minho smiles. I know he's onto me, but he will never immediately ask me. That's not what Minho does. 

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a girl, would it?" He grins.

"No, Minho", I say, pretending to be annoyed and rolling my eyes. 

"Because we will support you 100% if it is?" 

"I know…but it's not." I smile, knowing it has everything to do with a girl. 

Master list: @bellamuerte1987 @nightrayseishina @9900z @armystay89 @dreamstarsandskz @fosfopirite @neyangi @princesspanda16 @krishastumblernow @agnes-king @bangtanmix73 @khemrose @fawnpeaks @missrobyn81 @dreambelieveinme @umbreonwolfy @jisungiexx @scarletrosesposts @choisoorin @izzathequeen @binnies-minsung-fanclub @jetblackbelle @bunnyxoxodarling @berryberrytan @sky-outta @zerefdragn33l @shiningnono @tinys0ftie @zinnichong @tuggybug @nokacchan @amaranth-writing @seungbinis @jisunglover3409 @kimseungminsprincess @goblin-waifu @skzswife @uwuitsjungwoo @marrivmel

[factual-fantasy]

I've just finished reading your response for the first time,

First off, thank you very much for the GIF and Video, as well as the explanations. I can definitely work with this.

I've downloaded and installed FireAlpaca for myself so I can start comparing what I'm seeing vs what is supposed to happen.

Immediately, Something stood out as weird to me: You're selecting multiple tools at once. That's... not supposed to happen. I tried it myself, Opened like 20 tabs and just started throwing colours at each canvas. This doesn't happen for me At all.

So I'm gonna give you some more instructions. (Tl:Dr for the instructions at the bottom, just above my little rant)

Backing Up your Brushes

FIRST let's make sure you don't lose all of your beloved brushes. from what I'm about to suggest.

in FA, I want you to go to Help > Open Config Folder

That will lead to a folder that, for me, looks like this

Keep in mind that it could look different for you, I have a fresh install with no cool special brushes. (also I can't draw to save my life)

Now simply Ctrl+A (select all) and copy it to another folder. go to like... Documents or Downloads or something, Make a folder called "Brushes Backup" and Paste all of it in there.

Alright, now to the actual thing I want you to do.

2. and 3. Uninstall and Reinstall FireAlpaca

There is some weird glitch I cannot Reproduce. So Just Reinstall FireAlpaca. this is the reason I wanted you to back up your brushes. Deleting the program and reinstalling will nuke all of the settings you use, so by copying the Config folder, you can easily reinstate your settings.

4. Testing

After you have reinstalled the program, I want you to open it, and mess around for however long you think it will take to trigger the glitch. (which sounded like only a few minutes) and see if something happens.

If not: Great!

If yes: You might want to reach out to https://firealpaca.com/report/ and fill out a bug report, and tell them that you have no way of reproducing the bug. (although I really think reinstalling will work)

5. Reinstating your brushes

Now, after you've made sure that FireAlpaca works, only then do I want you to Open the config folder again and put your brushes back. (simply close FireAlpaca after you've opened the folder, delete everything that's in it, and then copy everything from your "Backup Folder" into the config folder. )

6. Testing Part 2: Electric boogaloo

Then if you re-open FireAlpaca I want you to once again mess around a little and pay attention. Because the Bug might come back.

If it DOES come back, It might be one of your settings/brushes that is causing it. Which in that case I unfortunately have to suggest starting over with your brushes.

To recap: I'm asking you to:

Back up your brushes

Uninstall FireAlpaca

Reinstall FireAlpaca

Test to see if the weirdness is gone

Restore your brushes

Test to see if the weirdness is still gone

--- Rant Below ---

I have no clue what's happening to your program. This looks like some bug in the code that just causes FA to say "Nope" and stop responding to the side bar.

This acutally reminds me of a bug I've been encountering in Unity where the program refuses to open one of the UI pages in the Program's settings, which just completely shuts me out of the settings for one of the input libraries. Funnily enough it actually printed an error in my console, and the error was thrown so incredibly deep into compiled code that I was pretty sure I was reading Unity Source Code at that point.

I still don't know what's happening. Luckily I have Other People to interact with that settings page for me.

(This ask is in response to this post)

So once again I took sometime to test all this out, but unfortunately it didn't take me very long to come back with bad news.

So this is exactly what I did in this order:

I went to my config folder and copied everything into a new folder I created in my Documents tab. Then I went to my settings > apps > FireAlpaca and uninstalled. I then went to the official website and reinstalled it.

I opened up what should have been a fresh FireAlpaca and found this,

The red numbers are brushes that I have adjusted/used. And the "Fire roller (multiple colors)" and "twisted ribbon" are brushes that didn't come with FireAlpaca by default. I downloaded them afterwards from their little brush shop. For some reason FireAplaca remembered my brushes..

And of course, FireAlpaca was still breaking in the way that I've described in your last ask.

So I thought "Okay, I don't care if I lose my brushes and settings. I just want FireAlpaca to work." So I deleted that copied folder from Documents that I made, I unpinned FireAlpaca from my taskbar and deleted the desktop shortcut too just to he extra safe I guess..? Then I went to settings > apps > FireAlpaca and hit uninstall. Then went back to the website, reinstalled the latest version and wouldn't you know it,

All the exact same brushes, in the same order with the same settings. And FireAlpaca continued to break the same way.

So now I'm wondering if I did something wrong.. why does FireAlpaca keep remembering my settings? Did I do the uninstall process wrong? I wondered if that cache thing might be holding data or something? I've heard about that before. But with the help of a friend recently I cleared my Google Chrome and Laptop's caches. And FireAplaca didn't change at all and I didn't lose any of my settings. So that cant help me here..

I wonder if somehow my pen could be a problem? I've dropped it on the hard floor 100s of times. Could it be contributing? And what did I do wrong in this process for FireAlpaca to remember all my brush settings?

If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it <:(( Please and thank you very much 🙏🙏🙏

[geopsych]

A conversational post. Last year I had an injury and couldn’t keep up with the garden much to the delight of many species of plants, insects and birds. This year I’ve been doing some cleanup and as I cut away ferns and goldenrod and other plants that have taken advantage of neglect moths and other insects are sadly fluttering up out of their hiding places reminding me that all lawn and garden cleanup is habitat loss.

Sometimes cleanup has to be done for social reasons like neighbors (the area between my garden fence and the neighbors’ fence is full of ostrich ferns but among them are some nettles. Probably if I don’t cut them the neighbors will but if they don’t know what nettles are and grab them gloveless to cut them they’re in for a world of pain. Better I glove up and handle them myself.) My neighbors’ kids play in their lawn and sometimes balls or frisbees land between the fences so they prefer it not to be a jungle or nature preserve in there. Ticks are a real threat here and I don’t want kids to get them because of me.

I’ve also been wading through the mess/habitat eliminating vines. I’ve pulled a lot of bindweed and clematis paniculata down from the lilac. I have to do that all summer or they overwhelm it. Vines are like parasites, using other plants to give them a leg up and then shading those plants with their leaves. Virginia creeper has to be kept down to a dull roar too. Today I found that one of my most beloved native plants, the royal fern, Osmunda regalis, above, was plagued with bindweed. It has enough trouble surviving in this non-woodland environment without vines pulling its fronds down out of the sunlight. I removed each vine gently and am hoping for the best.

But every single thing like this disturbs things, robs living things of habitat, reduces the amount of food that wrens and other birds can find for their growing families, so I try to be thoughtful and try to leave some areas as undisturbed as I can without allowing plants that will do more harm than good to take over. The whole garden grows better if some of it is left wild for insects and other creatures to use.

tl;dr: All yard trimming and cleanup is habitat destruction but sometimes you have to do it. Just be thoughtful and leave room somewhere for nature to do its thing. (If calling it “leaving room for the fairies to live in” makes it more fun, do that. Because after all, who knows?)