#i have the zoomies and it's because i thought about childe a little too much

[captain-k8kat]

I'm having an autism moment and thinking about childe tartaglia

[jals-stuff]

a routine.

Orter Madl x f!reader

Obnoxious, sour, call him whatever you want, Orter Mádl couldn't care less about what people thought of him. You can’t help but wonder if that’s what you find attractive, or if you just have a thing for authoritative, serious-looking jerks (because I do).

Warnings: slight angst? orter is a jerk, hurt (just a bit) with comfort, reader being too nice.

Word count: 3.4k words

Note: again with no sleep, sorry for any spelling mistakes, don't stone me to death. thought about making a part 2 for this, no clue yet let me know what y'all think. (i swear i have never simped for a man that hard before)

definitions at the end, but it doesn't matter if you don't read them so no worries! enjoy-

Indeed, Orter was a man who would sweat for the status quo to be protected. If this man had his name on an alignment chart, the creators would have to make up something like “lawful lawful”. That is how lawful Orter Mádl gets. It didn’t matter to him how people perceived him, or whispered to each other whenever they saw him walk through the large corridors of the Bureau of Magic. Few things mattered to him in fact, but if he had to put them into a list, it would look like this:

Making sure rules and order are respected

Staying undisturbed during working hours (and out of working hours, too)

Not doing anything unnecessary.

He had a very specific routine he followed almost perfectly everyday, and so far, nothing had pushed him to change it. No one had, either, because from an ordinary person’s point of view, Orter was nothing else than a sour workaholic, strict, obnoxious man. Most women (and some men as well) who worked at the Bureau always seemed to look to the ground when crossing his path, while the other ones were too busy gossiping about him being a potential serial killer, since he was “so calm and quiet”. But one (wo)man’s trash is another (wo)man’s treasure and surely enough, you were one hell of a hungry raccoon lady. 

You had been working at the Bureau for almost a year now, and since the very first time your eyes had landed on him, you knew he was the one you wanted. And since that day, you were one of the only people who even dared speak to him— if you don’t count the other Divine Visionaries as people (because Kaldo’s… obsession¹ with honey made him a creature, and not a human being, we have to be honest here). 

You’d always greet Orter when meeting him in the morning, or wish him to have a nice break time when he’d actually allow himself to take a break, and he would simply greet you back, always giving you the same confused look. Simply seeing him illuminated your days and kept you going through your seemingly unending workload. Yet, as much as you enjoyed these small interactions, the same couldn’t be said about him. 

Orter didn’t dislike these despite the way he looked down at you everytime you greeted him. He simply wasn’t used to such… fervour² from any of his other colleagues. You were certainly very passionate, and he had to put in a lot of effort not to just immediately send you away whenever you’d bring him coffee when you had free time or simply try to chat a little when you were to give him a report. 

It wasn’t against you or anything specifically, but Orter was a firm believer that saving energy was the move. After all, why bother doing anything that is unnecessary? 

Even if it, indeed, was nothing personal, you were pretty much everything he disliked. Noisy, talkative, full of energy, sPEED, and quite naive as well. The embodiment of a child who has been given too much sugar and is now experiencing the zoomies. 

And so, like an uninvited grain of sand in his eye, you slithered your way into his daily routine. Each morning, before entering his office, he knew he would encounter you at this specific time of the morning shift, by turning this corner. It happens everyday, and it will happen again today. He knows you get your break at 10:05 am and usually will knock on his office door at exactly 10:11 am to bring him your reports as well as some coffee you grabbed for him.

He knows that in the afternoon, usually between 3:48 pm and 4 pm, you’ll find an excuse— any excuse to bring him some pastries, or any kind of snack with another cup of coffee, but this time a bit more sugary. 

He has gotten used to it now, but he still cannot quite understand why you’re spending so much energy on him, and when Orter doesn’t understand something, he gets frustrated. He does not often interact with anyone, and so the fact that people around him might have feelings is completely unbeknownst to him, or so it seems. 

...

It’s approximately 4pm on that day and, as usual, you knock on his door. He looks up from his paperwork and just mutters to come in, knowing damn well it’s you. But this time, you’re not bringing any coffee or snacks. You just hand him a report you had written, as usual, and he notes that you look a little nervous.

You patiently wait for him to read through your carefully written report. He gives a nod, not even a word, as usual, and this time, instead of immediately leaving, you decide to speak up.

“Umm..” you start, and you start wondering whether this is a good idea or not. He’s looking at you now, in all of his cold, emotionless expression. “So… would you maybe… like to have your coffee break with me this time…?” you ask, looking away a little bit.

He leans against his chair’s backrest at the suggestion. He could definitely use a break and some coffee right now, but he isn’t sure if he can take the amount of energy you’ll be talking with for the whole duration of your time together.

“With you?” He asks, and you’re unsure if he means this in a mocking way, or if he’s just asking. You shyly nod and he adjusts the position of his glasses a little bit. “I could use a break,” he starts “but I’m not sure I can handle more of your… eagerness to converse³.”

It hurts quite a lot; you knew Orter had always been blunt, but to hear it from his mouth was something else. Were you really bothering him that much? Maybe he didn’t mean it in a bad way? After all, he did have a lot of work, and of course he’d like to free his mind a little bit and enjoy peaceful silence with his afternoon coffee. He quickly takes note of your nervous squirming and your lack of response.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he finally says after what seemed like an eternity “I don’t want this headache to get any worse.”

A headache. Was this really all you were to him?

“I.. can stay quiet if you’d like me to, but I would really like to have—”

“No, thank you. I’ll have coffee on my own. ” He cuts you off, looking back to his paperwork, probably very oblivious to the fact that he just hurt you deeply. “I don’t understand why you’re so eager to interact with me when all I’m really asking for is to be undisturbed.” Was it personal, or was it because of his lack of human interaction? Well, both meant the same to you, if you really were the only person he interacted with, it was directly against you.

You didn’t know what to say. You wouldn’t give up on him, of course, but your entire personality had just proven to be a nuisance to him, and you weren’t sure how you’d recover from this one. You had been standing for a minute, looking at the ground in front of his desk, before his authoritative voice you loved so much pulled you out of your overthinking.

“Anything else?”

You shake your head ‘no’ and promptly exit his office now. It sounded clear to you that you were a disturbance to him, and it was the complete opposite of what you wanted to be. But again, no matter how bad his rejection felt, you decided you’d be a little more like he wished you’d be: invisible, silent.

You made a mental note to change your behaviour around him and stop being so clingy and noisy all the time, then maybe, if you destroyed this personality of yours he seemed to loathe, maybe he would look at you. Even just once.

...

Orter arrives at the Bureau the next day as usual, and already knows you’ll be just around the corner where he meets you everyday. He gives a sigh and walks around… to find no one. He blinks a few times in surprise, but simply assumes you’ll be somewhere else, ready to greet him…. But there’s no sign of you. Or rather there is one, but it’s only the usual morning coffee you give him, and it’s sitting on his desk inside his office. You, on the other hand, aren’t here.

“Probably a different schedule today.” he thinks and quickly dismisses it to sit at his desk and remove his coat. He takes a few sips of the warm coffee and sighs before diving into his unending paperwork again.

As expected, there is a knock on his door at 10:11 am. He lets you come in and is pleased to see you’re still bringing him some coffee, along with your usual report. You quietly greet him and hand him the papers as you put the tall coffee cup on his desk, and await his review. Again, he gives you a nod and puts the papers back into his drawer, and as he looks up from his paperwork again to listen to your usual morning talk, he’s surprised to see you leave his office without a word.

“Probably has more work today.” he thinks, dismissing the change in your behaviour as the man sinks into his paperwork once more. You, on the other side, are only hoping your efforts aren’t vain. You’ve practised staying silent for a bit and you think you’re nailing it, honestly. All for the sake of the obnoxious, lawful man.

It doesn’t occur to him even once that you might be in emotional pain from his words; he isn’t well versed with other people’s feelings— and probably not his own either. You probably have more work today, and that’s why you’re not as talkative as usual. Or maybe you’re tired. Are you sick?

He stops himself for a second and takes off his glasses to rub his eyes a little; no. No, no. It shouldn’t matter to him whether you are ill or simply tired. He has too much work to do to care about one of his coworkers.

Roughly around 3:50 pm, you knock on his door again, bringing in the usual pastries and sweet coffee. Now, he’s wondering which excuse you found to visit him as he crosses his hands on his desk and looks at you intently.

His eyes on you start to feel uncomfortable. It’s like he’s tearing your soul open and trying to figure out what’s going on in this little skull of yours⁴, and really, it isn’t just an impression. He was expecting you to ask him out again, or talk about the weather, complain about your workload, but none of these words escape your mouth. A simple, polite “have a good afternoon”, and you’re gone immediately.

Your schedule must really be something else for you to quit pestering him about your state of mind like you used to do. But again, he takes a bite of the delicious pastries you brought him, and keeps working in religious silence as he occasionally takes a sip of the sweet coffee you delivered.

Time flies fast, and it’s already evening. You clock out, as one does, and as you walk away from your office, you encounter Orter, who seems to be clocking out at the same time. And this is when the overthinking kicks in. Is he going to think you waited for him? Will he believe it was a mere coincidence? What if he thinks you’re being clingy and annoying for clocking out at the same time? 

But your thoughts come to an end as he simply walks away without a word; maybe he just doesn’t care. Right, maybe he just doesn’t care. It probably didn't matter whether you were quiet or talkative, hyper or calm. He probably didn’t care.

...

The next morning, you arrive earlier at the Bureau, as you did yesterday, and fulfil your morning routine: getting a few snacks for yourself, and a tall coffee for Orter. But unfortunately, the cafeteria is a bit more crowded than usual, and you end up exiting it at the same time you usually did. 

He encounters you again at the very same corner, and he is now convinced you simply had a rough schedule yesterday, but as he was about to greet you, you simply hand him the coffee and walk away towards your office without a word. 

The day goes on like the previous one; you barely exchange any words with him, and he makes no effort to change this. You’re quiet, reserved now, and you just internally pray that he will like you more. This isn’t you, but you will be whoever he wants you to be, if there’s the slightest chance that he will look at you.

What you were completely clueless about was how this little change of yours was affecting him. At first he didn’t think much of it, but he had gotten used to your nonstop talking, to your cheerful voice when you greeted him, and to the very specific hours you’d come to visit him and ask him out or talk about everything and nothing. 

Orter was going nuts. The routine he had gotten used to was crumbling for reasons unknown, and he couldn’t understand why, it was beyond his power. The grain of sand in his eye⁵ had become an entire desert, and the frustration was great enough that he could barely focus on his work anymore. Something was missing. He needed to figure it out quickly.

His focus was long gone, and all he could think about was why the usual, cheerful girl who always greeted him with a smile and warm coffee had become so… dull and painfully normal. Had you been sick the whole time? Why did he even care in the first place?

But as much as he disliked admitting it, he had grown quite fond of your behaviour, even though his words had proven to oppose this fact. He needed to make sure of what was lacking in his daily routine now. You were still here, you still brought him coffee everyday, did your job correctly… What could be missing?

His mind was a complete mess and he could not get you out of his head for some reason, which made him even more annoyed. You were such a headache and a nuisance, right? He couldn’t possibly be going insane from the lack of… you?

As usual, at 10:11 am sharp, you visit his office with your daily report and his coffee. This time though, he doesn’t take the papers from your hands and just crosses his legs, looking straight into your eyes. “I would like you to read it out loud for me.”

Read it out? You ask yourself, why couldn’t he read it himself? But again, we are talking about Orter Mádl; this man could tell you to get on all fours and bark, and you would gladly do it without giving it a second thought.

“...right.” You started, a little confused at his sudden request. “The Bureau’s investigation on Magol Castle…”

Your words grew distant to him, but not your voice. He wasn’t listening, he was listening. He felt himself oddly soothed at your tone, for once, as he kept trying to find this missing piece of the jigsaw. But it was as if his focus had returned and he could finally get back to work. As soon as you stopped talking, he extended a hand for you to give him the reports, and you did.

“Good, very good. I’ll read it again later.”

You stood in awe for a second; Orter had just praised you. Your efforts were working, and now you just had to keep going and stay quiet most of the time. You gave a polite nod and walked away from his desk. 

“Wait.”

That was it. You were the missing piece. But it made no sense, since you hadn't left, you were still here with him at the very moment... but then why did it feel like you weren't?

You turn around as you hear him speak and you just stand there, waiting for him to keep going. The silence is heavy and it seems like an eternity before he finally speaks up again.

“You’ve been… quiet.” He remarks, his eyes never leaving yours, and you couldn’t tell whether he meant this in a good or a bad way. Of course, his expressions always suggested that everything he said was to be taken in a bad way, but you knew better than to assume anything, especially about Orter Mádl. “Why?” he asks, and there’s an undertone of desperation in his voice. He sounds like he’s at his wit’s end.

At this point, you can’t really do anything else than speak up and tell the truth, can you? So you take a few steps towards his desk and nervously fiddle with the hem of your shirt.

“I… do not wish to be a nuisance or give you a headache.” You simply reply, in all of your honesty, and he looks at you, clueless and distraught now. Was that the reason why you had been silent the entire time? Were you driving him completely crazy because of what he said to you?

He buries his face in his hands and sighs. His glasses were slightly falling from his nose now that his hands were rubbing it entirely. You walk around his desk and gently push his glasses back in place, his state worrying you a little bit. You had never seen him being affected by anything before, so you were a bit confused.

“Are you alright..?” You quietly asked, not daring to touch him too much, lest he’d find you clingy, but the man sighed loudly once again and cleared his throat, his hands crossing against his desk again.

“You are driving me insane, (Y/N).”

You’ve never heard him speak your name before, and it felt… rather nice. You couldn’t tell if his words were meant to be good or bad though, so you only stood next to him and waited for him to speak up again. An uninvited feeling of guilt made its way to your heart and you couldn’t help but feel like all of this was your fault. You only wanted him to look at you, to make his life a little easier… but instead, you had somehow wrecked it.

After what seemed like an eternity, Orter was still dead silent, and you had to do something.

“I… I’m sorry…” you mutter quietly, not fully sure of what you did, but feeling the urge to apologise anyway. His state was more than concerning and you were the cause for it. “I… meant no harm, with whatever I did to you…”

And then something hits him. A feeling he’s probably rarely felt before: guilt. He looks up at you, and you clearly look like you’re holding back your tears as you shamefully look away from him. It takes all of his energy not to get angry— but at himself this time. He was the one who caused this situation, not you.

“It wasn’t your fault, only mine.” He sighed as he took off his glasses and started wiping them to distract himself from your sad expression that was awakening a myriad of new feelings within him. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I… did get quite used to your company. Please, feel free to speak as much as you want.”

He looks up at you, and despite the fact that he still isn’t smiling, his eyes are softer now, his expression is gentler and his voice has lost its authority. He is just asking you to speak to him. It isn’t even an order, he is actually pleading.

You can’t help this slight blush from creeping up to your cheeks as you try to regain your composure. You had gotten praised by Orter today, and he even pleaded with you and apologised? It was clearly your lucky day, so you thought you might as well try your luck. You cleared your throat a little.

“A-hem… so… maybe you… would like to have coffee with me this time?” You ask, timidly.

Orter merely chuckles, still not letting his face sport the ghost of a smile. He simply pushes his glasses up to his nose and stands up, pulling his coat back to his shoulders. 

“I would love to.”

¹: this man will cover his sashimi in honey and proclaim it’s still edible.

²: read → insistence. 

³: nonstop yapping.

⁴: empty, hollow. Not a single thought behind those eyes— or so he thinks.

⁵: you, sorry.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

the sheer zoomies my brain did when i realised i hadn't checked for new chapters for a few weeks and found that indeed, i have several to catch up on (which i'll go do in a moment, i am sure they'll be wonderful, and the more the merrier!)

i haven't caught up on reading the other asks & answers yet either but i am just going to assume no one came in with this particular one since it's rather specific,,, so

i was thinking the other day, y'know how the archons' eyes and stuff can glow? and it might be a slightly odd thing to pick on, but i don't think it's because of anything specifically gnosis related, since, well, playable character things ought to be all-time accurate or after stuff happens, if anything. and also ei/raiden. has not had hers for some time. but she still gets that. that's probably a better argument. so, i assume it's like a light/godly energy thing maybe? or just some kind of really strong amount of elemental energy kind of thing. i don't want to assume that it's only the archons that have it because, well, we haven't exactly gotten to see other gods very much, and with the archons it's not there all the time, either. ...and elemental things just tend to glow anyway, it's just a really specific instance of it. at any rate, that leads me to the question: since ajax/childe/tartaglia has his uh, very notably lightless eyes, which tends to be attributed to the whole. fell into the abyss time, which to me does make sense. if we assume it's just a light/godly energy thing in general, would he have any of that potentially in the fic now? how would that work if the lightlessness is from the abyss? it's not like the abyss influence disappeared, after all. even if it, say, might show but might not show really bright, because well, his eyes are still. kind of. lightless, usually, i assume, and it really is just an assumption (i could go on a whole debate with myself on if they would even still be pretty much. mostly lightless but i'll just stick with assuming for now,,,). but maybe if not really bright, something that feels more underlying but is still... there? the best way i can put it into words is how the "bright" feeling comes from the "light" which not always but sometimes comes from, you know, a colour that's closer to white, and therefore lighter or a colour that's just... a lot more potent, for lack of a better way to describe it (it's probably not that simple, i know, but.). so what i mean by something underlying would be if, say, rather than a really light or even more medium kind of colour "shining through", so to speak, something that's.... perhaps a bit darker than usual, but still there. that's a really random thought to spring on you but my brain handed it to me the other day and it's been bothering me when it comes to cool little details or concepts (a very pleasant thinky much thoughts kind of thing) so i thought i would ask your opinion on that one, highly specific detail :] just a concept im curious about is all! i had no idea what to make of it, ahaha,,, i kept wondering if it's stretching the idea too far, but if it is just a light/godly/super-high-elemental energy kind of thing, then well, i can't help but wonder about it now

and a very practically irrelevant tiny thing but im sending this right after a tiny madness of trying to figure out how to maximise childe's ranged charged bow shot damage without using food or bennett. the highest i got is 45,100 from the initial hit (it was on an enemy with pyro and with kazuha boosting hydro but.). sir. how. that feels illegal. he continues to surprise me,, although i got far too invested in that small exercise, and boy does it take a lot to remove his hydro,,,,, but anyway! hope you are having a good day >:] i am off to see how much fic i can catch up on before sleep time arrives

4- 45k.............................................

you got me thinking- i think it'd be cool if it were something like this. morax' glow is normal light, while ajax', which has an abyssal effect to it, is uv light. morax' eyes just shine while ajax' turn into electric eyestrain blue

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Can I request 1-25 for the farmer ask meme or is that too much

Sure, I don't mind writing all the questions at once 😃

1. Julian Braflovski (Most likely I will not change the Farmer's surname, it seems to me that it fits well)

2. He/him

3. Julian was 21 when he arrived in Stardew Valley

4. Bi (Bisexual) so many possible and beautiful bachelors and bachelorettes

5. Julian has a dog named Orion. An energetic and good puppy that Marnie found near the entrance to the farm and offered to Julian to take him. Although the puppy is a mongrel, he has all the makings of being an excellent shepherd dog. Guards the farm, plays with other farm animals, gets a lot of pets and often has zoomies. What a good boy!

6. Working in a Joja in which he was hired in his 18 as a talented and young candidate for a new position, Julian became disillusioned with the corporation in the first six months. But he couldn't leave, because the work supported him financially, and also made it possible to financially help his parents. Working for a greedy corporation that cared nothing but profit, add to that unfriendly co-workers, personal worries, noisy and dirty city environment. He went into a terrible mental state until Julian opened a letter from his grandfather. It was a radical job change, from a manager in a big city to a small farmer somewhere far away. But Julian has always loved plants and animals, knew a little about growing crops, and is already fed up with Joja, so he decided to take a serious step.

7. Everyone

8. Not to say that Julian had a crash on someone. There were Abigail, Shane and Sebastian, with whom Julian had been spending more time lately (and even thought about the proposal to date). But he realized that he did not have a crash, and appreciated their friendship more. But when a pink-haired gallant adventurer appeared on Ginger Island... Julian, not immediately, but as they became good friends, had a crash for the first time in his life

9. Lance (like c'mon)

10. It was already the fourth year when Julian came to Stardew Valley and decided to stay here forever, as he found his happiness in his favorite work, in friends, in his spouse, and in the secrets and magic of the valley which he reveals with curiosity.

11. Julian doesn't mind kids and would make a great parent. But the decision is also made by his soulmate - after all, this is decision for them both. So children or not - Julian will be happy in any case.

12. For Zuzu city - absolutely not. But Pine-mesa city - his parents still live there. And although Julian regularly calls them, exchanges letters, sends financial assistance and crops, he still misses his father and mother a little. But his parents sometimes come to visit him, so Julian does not feel strongly homesick.

13. Julian is an only child, so he has no siblings.

He has a great relationship with his parents! He loves them very much, and his parents answer him the same. Although they were a little worried when they found out that their child was engaged in dangerous adventures, they reconciled themselves, because the son is already an adult boy and decides his own fate.

14. Galaxy sword, and improved version - Infinity blade

15. He can't choose, he loves all his animals

16. Pumpkin. And not even because it is one of the most expensive crops. But because the pumpkin, in fact, is a symbol of autumn, his most beloved and colorful season. In addition, it is fashionable to make many different dishes from pumpkin.

And, well, he also loves apples. Where possible, he plants apple seedlings on the farm.

17. Yes. He likes to explore various ores and gems in the mines, and these materials will help him build many useful things for farming. He also believes that as a member of the Adventurer's Guild, he should reduce the number of monsters in the mines for the safety of the valley. Of course, he makes an exception for the Shadow people after some events, but the fact remains.

18. Julian cooked in his first year... not much. Well, Joja's constant ready-made meals and a banal lack of time did not give him the opportunity to cook for himself often. But when he got used to spending more time at the stove and using his own crops in cooking... Then even Gus would praise him for the delicious vegetable stew, crab cakes and other dishes.

19. Fall 🎃🍁🌽🍁👻

20. From hats - his straw hat and fur headphones. From rings - the connected slime ring and burglar ring. From shoes - his leather boots, which Julian improved with a sewing machine (thanks, Emily)

21. Grandpa's farm

22. Farming, mining and combat

23. Winter is usually a great season to go on adventures and into the mines more often. Although Julian spends every winter weekend either at home with his family or in the Saloon surrounded by his friends.

24. He has a well-furnished cozy wooden cabin. So if someone needs to live on his farm for some reason, there is always a place (even if he also has a guest room at home, there is another little house, just in case)

25. Julian had a very ordinary life. Well, apart from some of his magical manifestations and the ability to see the mystical, which even his parents thought that the boy just had a rich imagination. Due to a slightly unusual appearance (heterochromia of the eyes) and unusual interests, the boy did not have friends, only his parents were his best friends. A gifted, smart and kind boy who just had the misfortune to make friends in his hometown and in Zuzu city. But he make friends and found happiness in Stardew valley, so life is not so bad after all.

[chuuyrr]

Since we already have toman babysitting baby fushiguro reader, how bout tenjiku babysitting her? but reader is more chaotic an energetic xD they would remove their eyes on her for 0.01 seconds and shes gone xD Id love to see ran rindo and izana lose their minds trying to stop her from doing dangerous stunts and causing trouble everywhere😭

tenjiku babysits scarlet witch! baby fushiguro! reader

jujutsu kaisen x reader x tokyo revengers

masterlist of the series

╰➤ CW(s): possible spoilers for tokyo revengers, major themes of fluff and chaos, soft! tenjiku, izana swearing in tagalog because i just know he does 😭

╰➤ PAIRING(s): platonic! tenjiku x reader (izana, ran, rindou, kakucho, no shion and mochi, no kisaki either >:P)

╰➤ SONG SUGGESTION(s): russian roulette by red velvet

hi omg, thank you so much for requesting and for being patient dear anon! i had fun writing this while listening to red velvet and couldn't help but imagine tenjiku panicking and chaos ensuing with this song lmao, enjoy reading ♡

tenjiku didn't know how this happened. they were the most powerful and dangerous gang in yokohama, and yet they had been reduced to the role of a babysitter to a chaotic little girl who has the powers of a witch and saved them from a curse. they were delinquents, but they were grateful and cared about you, especially izana. you remind him of emma when she was younger, and what about the haitani brothers? they haven't had a younger sibling or sister to look after, so having you around was definitely appreciated.

tenjiku enjoyed taking you for a walk in the park, giving you ice cream and cotton candy, buying you stuffies and trinkets from shops, and playing zoomies with you. ran and rindou loved spoiling you to bits, styling your hair even. you always get piggyback rides from kakucho and you practically cling to izana. you were so sweet. you were literally a breath of fresh air to them. something about being around you, a child they see as their little sister of sorts was just refreshing, or so they thought.

it was all fun and games for you and tenjiku until they learned how much of a handful you can be at times, especially when you were up for a run and play. you were a good baby in general, but you were literally the harbinger of chaos, as the prophecy predicted.

you liked running away to who knows where, just like when you were with gojo and the jujutsu tech students, and disappearing was literally one of your talents. you're gone as soon as one of them takes their gaze away from you for even 0.01 second. you literally vanish into thin air, as if you got snapped out of existence.

"[name]?! [name]!" tenjiku practically trembles with fear and panic the moment you disappear.

"putangina niyo! hanapin niyo si [name]!" izana literally starts swearing in tagalog out of panic as he and the rest of tenjiku runs around looking for you.

"what the hell is izana even saying? what's putangina?!" rindou asked in the middle of chaos, absolutely confused.

"i'll translate later damnit! find [name]!" kakucho shouted back at the younger haitani brother stressfully.

"guys.. [name]'s up there.."

ran lifts an index finger, pointing at a [color]-haired child at the very top of one of the beams in yokohama's port containers. tenjiku just instantly become pale. they just don't understand how you just pull off these dangerous stunts. climbing on top of high places? check. jumping off a ledge? check. swinging on construction beams as if those things were monkey bars? check. you literally do anything.

izana is confused at this point because emma was not this chaotic when she was a child. don't get me wrong, he and the tenjiku boys absolutely love you, but this was too much for them. they're practically pleading with you to stop and just return to them safely. you're giving them a heart attack at such a young age. our beloved tenjiku boys are crying hard.

"[name], sweetheart. please come to zana-nii. you don't have to do this." izana says as you balance yourself on top of a very high beam, giggling like the devious little creature you were.

"we're begging you, [name]. get down from there!" rindou has his hands clasped together and was praying to whatever gods were out there. "you're gonna fall off!"

"NO! NO! WE SAID GET DOWN NOT JUMP OFF! [NAME]!" ran loses his mind at this point.

and so does izana and kakucho.

"DALI SALUHIN NIYO SIYA! HOY TANGINA!"

"CATCH HER! IZANA SAID CATCH [NAME]!"

you know how tenjiku has a population of five hundred men? when they can't find you or get to you at all, izana sends all of them to get the task done. he doesn't care that you and your chaos magic are to blame. if they don't catch you or accidentally drop you, izana will beat the crap out of them.

aside from dangerous stunts like that, you absolutely loved using your chaos magic on them. while you don't use it maliciously, you enjoy making things float with red psionics, as if you and everyone were in a sort of anti-gravity room. while that sounds amazing, it was terrifying. you enjoy yeeting people and objects up and down, and it's far worse than a rollercoaster with loops. rindou even puked once.

you also enjoyed joining them during gang fights, which gave them heart attacks. you're safely staying on the sides one minute. the next thing they know, you're confronting a delinquent from the opposing gang, asking them what color to draw the car you were drawing on a pad with crayons 💀

of course, izana and tenjiku immediately come to your aid by snatching you into their arms and punching the delinquent in the face, but they can't help but be concerned about you. you might have near god-like abilities who can teleport, move objects with her thoughts, and exorcise curses, but you were still a child.

tenjiku tries to keep you at bay by holding your hand and even carrying you in their arms, but trouble still arises due to your access to your witch abilities, so you can flee fairly easily.

whenever you were in yokohama, it was always an eventful sight. a young girl between the ages of four and six can be seen zooming off with a swarm of delinquents from yokohama's largest and most dangerous gang chasing after her, while she giggles fondly, thinking it's all a game of tag.

[0viciouslyvague0]

What it's like keeping them as cats:

◇Character(s) Involved: Albedo, Childe, Diluc and Kaeya

◇Genre: Fluff

◇Format: Headcanons

◇Au Setting: A crack au where all the Genshin Characters are now cats

◇Summary: Just a brief insight on how life would be, keeping the character of your choosing as cats. This was a midnight thought that simply got way too out of hand-

Albedo:

◇It was hard finding the specific breed I had in mind for Albedo but I think I got it down! Red Ragdoll cats are a rare and elegant looking breed and I think they're a perfect match for Albedo.

◇Albedo would be a rather reclusive and quiet cat, spending most of his time by himself, watching the scenery outside through any clear windows you may have. You should probably give him a collar with a bell on it because he does have a tendency to dissapear for a whole day, the bell would at least reassure you that he's still very much at home, safe and sound.

◇While he isn't overly fond of being smothered in affection, he does show his love for you by enjoying your presence when he's in the mood for it. He won't make much of a show of it, simply deciding to plop himself beside your computer or on your lap to have a bit of a nap. Regardless of wether you choose to pet him or not when he does this, he always lets out soft quiet purrs when he's close to you, basking in your comfort when he chooses to seek it.

◇He doesn't really like when you have guests over but he's surprisingly very patient when children are involved. He may not go out of his way to go find them but he never minds when they find and approach him themselves. It's almost funny to you how well he handles the ocassional rough treatment from a child but skitters away the moment a friend of yours tries to boop him.

◇His favourite time to hang around you is usually when you're performing your hobbies. He seems to find what you do in your free time to relax rather fascinating and likes being close to you in those moments to witness anything new that you may have learned or discovered. If he's truly invested in something you're doing, there may be a rare chance you'll catch him trying his best to imitate you. For example, maybe you tried fingerpainting one day to use up small amounts of paints you had left over. You may find him stepping on any stray pieces of paper you have around the house the next day, as if trying his best to leave a mark on what he stepped on just like how he saw you do it.

(More under the cut!)

Childe:

◇Going slightly feral here. Look, the obvious choice would be to make him a Russian Blue but this man is an Orange Tabby and I will not take any criticism- Slightly clingy with a hint of bastard energy running through his veins, I'm sorry to say this but you're stuck with this cat forever.

◇He's an incredibly hyperactive cat, if you don't have any other cats or kittens that could help entertain him be prepared for the sudden zoomies at odd hours of the day, he also has a tendency to break almost every single cat toy you've ever gotten him- He's rather clingy when he wants your attention, meowing and maybe even knocking down an item or two off your table just to get you to focus on him. You swear, his face is always so smug when he finally gets things to go his way.

◇An outdoor cat that can and will get out by force if he has to. You can't contain him- but he at least has the decency to not stray too far from home and comes back running when you call out to him, not wanting you to worry too much. Although he doesn't mind the ocassional lone stroll, he would much rather go out on a walk with you by his side. He has very strong predator instincts, so expect the ocasional dead bird, rat or snake, yes, snake, being proudly presented to you whenever he's out and about. He'll take payment in kisses and praises please and thank you.

◇He enjoys it when you have guests over, especially if they have children, it just means more playtime for him. Honestly, if you're a little loss on how to entertain your guests, just give them a cat toy and Childe will be more than happy to carry that burden for you. Although he may seem to like those you bring over to your home, don't think that he trusts them immediately though, on the off chance a guest of yours doesn't exactly give him a good vibe, you can say goodbye to that person's ankles. He's only trying to protect you and he hopes that you see it that way as well.

◇Given how Childe is almost always by your side no matter what you do, you would think that he doesn't really care when he hangs around you, but you'd be wrong. He likes being around you the most when he's feeling sleepy. He thinks the safest spot to rest will always be by your side, knowing that you'd be there protect him if anything were to happen.

Diluc:

◇Diluc would most likely be a Maine Coon, and a grumpy looking one at that. Don't be fooled though, underneath all that fur and angst is a cat that's absolutely smitten with you.

◇He's a very independant cat, letting you get on with your day while he gets on with his. Though, he definitely isn't going to fight you if you suddenly decide to change things up and spend time with him for a whole day. Sure, he may not seem like he's enjoying you smothering him with kisses and praises but his biscuit making and purring tell a whole different story.

◇He's an outdoor cat for sure and gets rather restless and agitated when he stays indoors for too long so he appreciates being set loose out in your backyard or being taken out on walks with you. If your backyard isn't properly covered, you may have an issue with Diluc taking a stroll around the neighbourhood without your knowledge but rest assure that his sense of direction is rather good, he'll be back before you notice. When he returns from a good day of exploring, don't be surprised when he starts gifting you small flowers or lovely coloured leaves that he may have carefully picked out just for you, he's just trying his best to show you his appreciation.

◇Doesn't particularly care if you have guests over or not and is usually on his best behavior and keeps to himself for the most part. Prefers to keep an eye on you in more secluded areas of the room you're in, just in case something happens. If a guest of yours isn't exactly someone he finds pleasant, he won't outright attack them, but expect him to hiss everytime they try to get too close to you or him.

◇His favourite time to hang around you is whenever you're in the kitchen. It's not uncommon for Diluc to take a seat on something high up in your kitchen just to watch you wash dishes, cook or even pour a glass of water. He doesn't have a habit of stealing your food, thank the Archons, but he does ocassionally like to sniff or even touch what you leave out. You found out that he really enjoys grapes, and at one point even batted your hand away for trying to take back a single lone grape you found under his paw.

Kaeya:

◇He seems like an Abyssinian cat to me, a grey Abyssinian cat with a missing left eye. Don't be fooled though, he's just as agile and sharp as the other cats on this list, maybe even moreso as scary as that may sound.

◇While Kaeya may seem like a friendly cat, he also very much values his alone time, so there will be days where he'll kindly reject your affection and simply walk away when you try to give him some love. Don't be upset though, he still very much loves you! It's just that too much can make him feel a bit too smothered. On the bright side, understanding that he needs space will definitely strengthen your bond with him and you'll soon find that he becomes more vulnerable in his mannerisms around you.

◇Doesn't mind being indoors but really appreciates being let out every once in a while. When he's done exploring for the day, he has a strange little ritual that involves him presenting to you the many bottle caps or corks he may have encountered while on his journey. Specifically the types used for beer and wine bottles respectively. It may be a strange thing to gift to you, especially if you don't drink, but you can never find it in yourself to throw them away because of how proud he looks when he gifts them to you.

◇Is rather involved when you have guests over, coming up to them and rubbing himself up against their legs as a greeting. He's happy to let anyone come up and pet him but carrying him away from you is where he draws the line. You'll notice that while he does let people shower him in affection, he always tends to stick close to you while he receives it, only ever being completely comfortable in the presence of others with you close by.

◇His favourite time to hang around you is definitely while you're busy with your work. You swear, it's almost like he finds pleasure in distracting you by laying on your computer or important documents. Still, you have to admit that having him close by while you work is rather therepeutic, especially if you were having a rather stressful day. He always seems to know when to 'bother' you to take your mind off things for a while.

A/N: I genuinely have no proper explanation for this- I just got inspired after a friend of mine sent me pictures of their fat orange cat- Regardless of how random this is, I did have a strangely fun time writing it and I wouldn't mind making another part of with other characters as well. Thank you to those who read this post and I hope you enjoyed it!

(Requests are open and Anon is on!)

[bisexual-bitch-blogs]

“Unexpected” Pt 2

Hilichurls X GN Stoic Reader

POV Hilic and Mita starts traveling with you

😶———————————————————-😶

It’s been a week since the monster like humans stuck to you like glue, or well since Hilic kept following you since Mita had no choice to follow as well. All while you traveled to Liyue.

Paimon and Traveler didn’t seem to mind as much as you do, other than it was hard to bring them into the city without a disguise. Plus, they kept following you around when you wanted to go the damn bathroom. Man Reader can’t take a shit or piss in peace.

Another thing is sleeping. Since Aether got his teapot, you had your own individual room. However instead of sleeping the guest room as they should be. They wanted to sleep in your room, on your bed specifically. Like Hilic is understandable but Mita? What?? You ended up sleeping in a weird position and a broken bed in the morning.

( NO. NO DIRTY. U HORNY PUPPIES. YEAH LOOKIN AT CHU. WHAT U GANNA DO. FIND ME-)

You and the others thought the ex furry monkeys couldn’t speak English seeing as the Hilichurl/Mitachurl only spoke hilichurlian. To everyone’s surprise. Mita spoke his first word. It was……..

“Bitch” while pointing at the Reckless Palladin.

Cue Aether’s attempts to murder a laughing Childe. You didn’t feel proud, angry or happy when they begin speaking in your language. Giving no shit whatsoever.

We’ll focus on Mita later.

Meanwhile, Hilic was absolutely obsessed with you and a bit slow on learning unlike his older brother. His first word being, “apple”. Why apple? You were ‘sweet’ and precious according to him. Poor Mita, Hilic ignored him in favor of you. Never less, Mita never seemed to get mad or jealous.

The younger dark skinned male’s personality all in all is described as a glorified bouncy ball. This boy cannot stay still for the life of him. It’s like he got ADHD. Rather than walking like any other normal being, it’s always skipping or leaping. Sometimes, Hilic would have his fit of random zoomies. During zoomies, he would run like those electro seelies in Inazuma. No matter how far he would run. The younger monster would return back to you rubbing his head against yours. Occasionally, your ‘fiancee’ would bring something back, like a fruit or sweet flower.

The dedication, loyalty and persona was compared and is exactly like a golden retriever. It rubbed off on you. One day, you pet his fluffy dirty blonde hair just because he was hurt, whining, clinging onto your body when he got injured, refusing to be touched by no one than his mate. Even his brother had a hard time. Hilic gave you one look of puppy eyes and that was it. Pet. Pet. Pet.

Aether and the rest of the world could see it. That you cared for Hilic, making you seem like emotional towards others. Of course you were in self denial and said that he and his brother just useful in combat and warding off their own kind.

Before you knew it, 5 months has passed by and the young dark skinned male has crawled his way into your heart, changing you. At least only to him.

Mita stared at you, coddling his little sibling. It was cold since winter came, affecting the teapot too. Despite the fireplace near your bed, you wanted to make sure to keep your ‘lover’ warm, cuddling his head pressed against your chest, legs intertwined. The older wish he was his brother for the first time in his life. Looks like he’ll have to ask his little sibling something personal.

😶———————————————————😶

Hiiii! I’m back! Not really. Sorry if my writing doesn’t seem good rn. Hoping to make pt 3 about Mita if the readers want it.

Recently, school has started and I’m scrambling to survive. Life has not been good to me recently and to add on….my ‘birth giver’ wants to cause me inconvenience regarding WiFi despite being in another state. A big event will happen to me in a month and I wish to hold on the will to live when it happens. Until then. I hope you guys stay patient until I become active once more. Next is the Scaracoochie x male reader I wanted to write but never got to because of crappy parenting. ☺️ Stay safe! Love ya~

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

i just thought of something! most desserts in fallout are the eternal snack cakes right? how about companions react to sole making them ice cream? i doubt they had any before!

I left out Nick and Codsworth because they can't exactly eat the ice cream or react to how it smells or something (most ice cream I've ever heard of doesn't smell like anything, lol). 💙💛

Cait - Is very skeptical of it at first. She does not like the idea of its texture. She prefers crunchy dishes or at the very least, more solid food. But she takes a chance for F!Sole, not quite able to turn down the woman because of how excited she looks about Cait trying it. As soon as Cait actually eats a bite, she cannot believe that something that looks like baby food actually tastes like heaven in a bowl.

Piper - Is absolutely and completely in love as soon as she puts in her mouth. She begs F!Sole to make lots and lots more and somehow figure out a way to store it properly. Piper cannot believe that people before the bombs had this all the time. And people came by in trucks where you could order this stuff?! She has never more strongly wished that would have lived in pre-war times.

Curie - Is thrilled to be in a body that she can use to try the stuff. She heard of it as a robot, and she always wondered what was so wonderful about it. Now that she is able to actually experience it, she feels like her tastebuds are exploding with the pure joy and incredible sweetness of it all. It immediately becomes a favorite of hers.

MacCready - Is almost like a giddy child when he digs in. His eyes are lit up with a sugar craze and he has a smile from ear to ear. He is quite reminiscent of a small boy, and he shovels the stuff in, the stuff dripping down his chin as fast as he is eating it.

Deacon - Thinks it is wonderfully tasty, and insists on taking it back to the Railroad and giving it to Glory. He really wants to see her face when she eats something that sweet. Plus, he's got a sarcastic comment planned for the moment, so that is extra motivation to show the Railroad enforcer.

Hancock - Firmly believes that it is the best invention since day tripper brownies. He happily eats the stuff as if it is going out of style, and he asks F!Sole to tell Whitechapel Charlie how to make it so that this wonderous invention can be shared with everyone in Goodneighbor.

Danse - Almost cannot believe what he is tasting. He just sits there and eats it in carefully, savoring the flavor and licking his lips in an attempt to keep every bit of the taste. However, when F!Sole comments on him enjoying it, he flushes a bright shade of red and tries to compose himself a little better before replying and telling her that he is indeed finding it quite savory.

Preston - Is smiling and shoveling it in as swiftly as he can possibly manage to get it in his mouth without choking. He ends up going so fast that he gets brainfreeze, but he is still absolutely thrilled with the stuff. He tells her that she should make more of it and share it with the people of the Commonwealth since it is entirely too good to keep to themselves.

X6-88 - Tries to keep a completely straight face and keep totally calm as he eats it. On the inside, it's like fireworks are going off in his mind, and he is thinking of a thousand ways that he can somehow subtly get her to make more of it. He is in love deeply and truly, and his expression breaks into the smallest quirk of the lips.

Dogmeat - When she lets him have a small bit of the stuff, he immediately gets the zoomies, and he takes off like he is positively insane, beyond thrilled with the taste of it. When he finally calms down, he comes back and begs for some more. However, by this time, F!Sole has learned her lesson about giving him very much at one time.

Strong - Is extremely hesitant to eat it at first. He declares that it looks like some sort of puke or sand. However, when he actually eats it, he is enamored and demands tons more. He successfully eats all of the ice cream that he can get his hands on, telling her that he loves the mush and he hopes that milk of human kindness tastes that good.

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama 3

For anyone who hasn’t realized, we keep changing perspectives. Time to hear from Nikolai!!!

(I’m writing this instead of my book. Help.)

Lamia designs/species belong to @vex-bittys

< PREV | NEXT >

           Nikolai narrowed his eyesockets at the two intruders: a stranger and Keith. Keith had – presumably – been broken of his tendency to eat eggs and the occasional youngling long ago, but Nikolai was taking no chances with the brood. Bitties and full sized lamias alike were chirping and hissing in the nursery, some waiting for siblings to hatch, and Nikolai would violently murder anyone who harmed them.

           His mighty glare and splayed hood was enough to get the human to slowly back out of the room, door clicking shut. Keith however was either unphased or just really good at hiding it. Honestly no one, not even Hux, was sure which anymore.

Keith’s eyelights went to the squirming children in Nikolai’s grip and he chuckled, “You, uh, need an extra hand?”

“No,” Nikolai hissed despite very much needing one. One of the baby pygmies had managed to wrap around his neck, little hands trying to catch the lights inside his eyesockets. Nikolai – and most everyone in all honesty – would never tolerate this in most cases, but they were literally just hatched yesterday, they hardly knew better. Another pygmy was hiding under his shirt and trying to squirm into his ribcage while his hands were full with the remaining baby who was hell-bent on trying to investigate this New Thing. They were so curious, it was adorable, but sometimes it gave him a heart attack. Keith could probably be trusted, sure, but maybe he was wrong if he was bringing random strangers into the nursery.

“You sure?” Keith asked, a grin splitting his face and a hand coming up over his mouth as he clearly tried to stifle laughter.

“Yes.”

           King lets out a clearly very dignified yelp as the Pygmy’s hand reaches its goal, shoving itself into his eyesocket. Instinct alone keeps him from dropping the baby in his hands, though he has to quickly resituate the squirming child to free up a hand so he can remove the philanges from his eyesocket. (He opts to ignore Keith’s bouts of laughter at his plight, unhelpful ass). He loudly hisses in warning – not that he’d ever hurt the kid, but he couldn’t very well let this be considered acceptable – and sternly says, “No.”

           The Pygmy cries out in protest, hands flailing about in an attempt to get inside his skull again. Nikolai sighs and puts him in the Time Out Tank. Nothing cruel of course, it’s plenty big for a baby lamia, having a small tree to climb on, some sand, and a few plants, but the Pygmy starts yelling and pushes himself to the glass.

           Nikolai rolls his eyes, “You need a nap.”

           “Oh my god you’re such a mom,” Keith wheezed between laughter.

           “Well someone has to be.” Technically they had handlers for this, volunteers and workers to help socialize the children, but they didn’t know how to do it right! No, clearly this was a job for a King. Alesha was too soft on them, Katlyn thought giving week old hatchlings a phone was considered acceptable, Josh had a bad habit of losing track of bitties (though Nikolai would reluctantly agree he was good with the full sized children), and Drew should really get another job because he can’t handle even a baby bitty baring fangs at him; he’d been here one week and everyone was already questioning his life choices.

           Nikolai put the other two Pygmys back with the rest of their kind. It was a full sized playpen with a bunch of toys to stalk, wrap around, and chew on. Nikolai could watch them all day, but there were far more than just them after all, and he had a discussion to have…

           “Keith. What exactly were you thinking?” Nikolai hissed. The words what the fuck were on the tip of his tongue, but they were in a room full of children.

           “About what?” Keith said.

           “Don’t play dumb.”

           “Don’t have to play dumb.”

           Nikolai rolled his eyes, massaging the bones between his eyes. “What in the world would possess you to bring someone back here?” They would’ve told him if there was a new worker or volunteer coming in, right?

           “I mean, hey, they have to get used to people, right? She’s a bit weird, but seems sweet,” Keith said, shrugging his shoulders and idly watching some Bitty Cornies fuss as they all tried to take a nap on the same heat rock, squirming about and pushing each other off with offended little hisses and chirps.

           “And you’ve known her how long?” Nikolai said. He didn’t recognize her scent at all, but maybe it was an online friend? Still, that’s dangerous if they only just met for real.

           “Uh…” Keith looked to the side, huffing. “She wants to play DnD with us dude. Figured I’d take her around and say hi. We’ll get to know her.”

           Nikolai sighed, putting his hand on his face. “So you don’t know her.”

           “Nah.”

           “You could’ve asked me to step outside to meet her.” He cared for Keith, he did, but this was idiocy…

           Maybe too much idiocy. Keith could be a bit odd sometimes, but he wasn’t stupid. Or at least not stupid enough to bring a stranger into the nursery, not unless his master plan was to try to get her mauled. Oh sure, he was friendly and generally pretty relaxed (save for the random bouts of “zoomies”), but not unwary or naïve. So what in the world would get into him to just immediately accept some random person…

           Oh.

           Nikolai’s eyes widened as something clicked in his mind. “Is she yours then?” He was well aware of Chains’ soul bonds. He’d raised no small number of them, hugging them goodbye as they left with happy partners in a process that always felt too fast, but he rarely heard of any ill relations or had one returned, something he couldn’t say the same for with other breeds. Maybe he didn’t understand it fully, maybe he’d never have the instant connection and magical bond, but he was happy for them, really.

           “I literally just met her,” Keith said in a blatant not-answer.

           “… She is, isn’t she?” Nikolai said. He smiled softly, going over to hug Keith close, coils entangling and all forgiven. That said, his soul hurt at the idea of Keith leaving. Nikolai had only been a preteen himself when Keith first hatched, they’d practically grown up together. After all these years, it’d just seemed like Keith would be there permanently, holding DnD for himself and others until he got too old to do so. But asking him to stay was cruel, the very thought stirring up guilt. He should be happy for Keith, right? The old snake had finally found his person, this was great! They’d miss him terribly, but it wasn’t fair to force him to stay…

           Keith sighed, relaxing into Nikolai, “Yeah.” He didn’t sound all too thrilled.

           “… Is something wrong?”

           “I dunno. Like, I guess I’ve found her or something, at least it feels like it, but it’s not like I want to leave.”

           Nikolai’s soul jumped in his chest, but he kept his desire to grin giddily down. “You don’t have to stay, you know?”

           “I mean, that’s her call, right? Doubt the working people would let me keep homing here if they knew. She hasn’t said anything yet though, so who knows. Maybe I’m defective.”

           “You’re not defective!” Nikolai snapped, rubbing the back of Keith’s head. “If anything, she’s the problem then!” He would NOT allow this woman to make Keith feel bad about himself, intentionally or not.

           Keith chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, guess you have a point there. I don’t think she’s bad though, but guess we’ll play it by ear? Or, uh, whatever we have. Still not sure how that works.”

           “Magic.”

           “Yeah, that.”

           Nikolai chuckled, loosening up around Keith. “So… she’s playing DnD with us then?”

           “Yeah. Or, well, we’ll have to work everything out still. She can’t play too late, has to get up early, and I figure maybe we can start a side-campaign with her? If everyone’s down for it.”

           “I’ve been wanting to try some new characters anyways,” Nikolai said. A perfect compromise then. Keith and his person would get a chance to bond over something they apparently both enjoyed, Nikolai wasn’t about to take that away from him. “I should probably apologize to her on that note. I might’ve overreacted…”

           “Nah, you couldn’t have known. I should’ve warned you that I was going to do something stupid,” Keith said with a grin, shrugging. “Whatcha thinking of playing?”

           “I’m considering broadening my horizons some. Getting out there. Maybe a Rogue. Or a Barbarian.” Both were a far cry from the life clerics and paladins he personally preferred, but maybe it’d be fun to do something a little more… destructive.

           Keith whistled, “Daaaaang, you really are looking to branch out. Proud of you Nick.”

           Nikolai straightened up a little, flaring his hood just enough to show off. “Why thank you.”

           “Now c’mon, let’s go say sorry and round up the rest. I sent Hux to look for Liam, that leaves Trousle.”

           Because they all knew Oozy was in his hammock.

[lucarioisinthevoid]

pspspspspsps come here kittys! i got the treats you like!

(1/5 You know what, I’ll put one of these up every day, because my brain is leaving my body and I don’t have the energy to gather them all up at once) Instantly both of the cats perked up, their ears twitching. Mary gasped, in pure terror. “OH NO, IT ISN’T CATNIP, IS IT-“ But before she had managed to reach them to prevent it, they had shredded open the packaging, proceeding to glitch out and scream loudly and continuously. The poor Candy Guard could only watch on in terror as the machines went fully feral, shredding the entire nearby furniture. “I- I am SO sorry, oh my god, oh please, I’m so sorry, they- sometimes do that at our location, but I thought-“ Mike was watching on, grinning slightly self-satisfied. “Well, I guess I’ve been a little too hard on our shitty machines, huh? They never pulled this fucking nonsense, I can say that.” “U-Usually they don’t just- bring- catnip-“ The cats have started to run around wildly, dealing with the zoomies- And that’s cute and fun with two cats that go up to your ankle… … it was less fun with two GIANT machines, that were heavy and left nothing but destruction in their wake. Hell, even the Marionette had fled to the ceiling, holding up Jeremy to ensure he would not get in any way hurt. Phone Guy was angry- certainly not at the girl, but absolutely at the machines. “STOOOOOOOP THAAAAAAT!” However- They didn’t stop. At all. They didn’t even PAUSE. They were just ripping apart the location, while everyone was watching. Distraught Phone Guy turned to Mary. “THEY’RE- THEY’RE NOT U-UH- LISTENING TO ME! D-DO SOMETHING!” “I’m sorry, sir, but- when they’re like this… I don’t think I can do anything-“ “DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IT MYSELF?!” “C-can you do it? That would be fantastic, I-“ “G-GET THE GUNS.” “… wait what.” Mike threw his hands up. “Can I? Because last time I tried-“ “LAST TIME Y-YOU TRIED YOU WERE AIMING AT A CHILD.” “THE LITTLE SHIT DESERVED IT.” Mary was appalled. “Y-you did WHAT?” Too bad for her, she was being ignored. Finally, Mike showed his most morbid grin, as he reached behind him, pulling out the bat from behind him, his eyes following the kittens that were STILL SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS. “I’ll be deactivating them the old fashioned way.” “N-no, please don’t!” Mary seemed about ready to jump in the way- But something slunk from the ceiling. Abruptly. Crushing down. A doll without strings. Of course, this instantly caught the cats attention- After all it could be a bird! Something to hunt and kill- However, as soon as they managed to get over, it floated upwards quickly, looming over them, grabbing them by the throats- Its eyes were bright and white. And glitching. The cats screamed and scratched- Then went limp. Glitching out too, until they were placed down again. Vinnie slowly dragged itself over to Mary, who took his hand, while the cats rebooted. “HELLO EVERYONE! I’M CAT!” “And I! Am Candy!” “And we are here to entertain you!” The aggressive guard lowered his bat, frowning. … he didn’t like that puppet thing. It was even worse than the one THEY had. “… did it protect you?” Mary was flustered at the question, just shrugging. “I- I think Vinnie here… just doesn’t like fights.” From the back of the room, a rather cold voice sounded. “And it is a him. Michael. You should rememb-“ “MY NAME IS NOT FUCKING MICHAEL YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH, IT’S JUST MIKE. JUST FUCKING MIKE-“ Henry passed him, ignoring his words, simply throwing him a candy’s uniform. “We will have to be up to standard for the customers. They expect this to have Candy’s flair… and I do not care to test what will happen if we do not abide to the rules. Please change into these uniforms, employees.” Henry walked around, handing everyone their candy-blue uniform jacket. It was a much worse color compared to the superior Freddy’s “sky just before the first stormclouds approach” blue, and everyone could agree with that, however, they still had to wear it. Aside from Phone Guy, who seemed to be SEETHING as Henry approached with his jacket. “I- I am NOT- NOT h-HECKING wearing THAT!” His words got all jumbled up as he glitched. “Get over yourself.” Henry dismissed him. Huffing and puffing, Simon raised his fingers. “Y-YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I- I WILL NOT! I THINK I WILL G-GET- UH- EVEN MORE UPSET.” To stress his words he jammed his finger into Henry’s chest. “YOU! I-IT WAS YOU W-WHO PROGRAMMED ME T-TO FEEL LIKE THIS! Y-YOU HAVE NO RIGHT-“ “Oh, so now you are programmed again?” A rather cruel smile crossed Henry’s face, as he mocked his employee. “You made me this, you made me that… so you ADMIT that you are nothing but a machine who feels the way he is made to? Because I want you to know, Simon, you cannot have both. You cannot be your own person with thoughts and feelings that need to be respect and blame ME for your emotional tantrums when they are convenient.” His voice had abruptly turned cold. “You are all the same- but perhaps not because I programmed you. Perhaps you and all who were in your shoes merely realized they could get away with shedding all responsibility by harping on about your lack of your head. Perhaps you are all merely amoral cowards who love the path of least resistance, who love to point at the higher ups, or fate, or circumstances in order to never try and change themselves.” “You… y-you… you can’t talk to me like this!” “I cannot? Peculiar. Perhaps you should recalibrate your ability to predict people, because I seem fully capable of talking to you like this. Go cry to your partner, a partner who you have used as an excuse too, a partner you have left all the dirty, disgusting and violent work to in order to not do it yourself, might I add! Go cry to him and let HIM do what you want to do. Then sit back and feel good about manipulating others into doing what is needed in order for YOU not to change!” Freezing up, Simon stared at the man- this vile fucking man. … this was a ploy to make him act out. This was a ploy to make him- He clenched his fists. “I- I am NOT falling for this- th-this trick!” “Trick?” Henry merely raised an eyebrow. “… if that is what you would like to deem my words as. After all, if I am playing tricks on you, that is a rather comforting excuse to dismiss me, right? Put on your jacket, Phone Guy.” With that he left. Leaving the Phone Man to clutch the disgusting fabric in his hands.

[seat-safety-switch]

It's best not to put too much weight on what kids are saying. That's how I ended up doing that very short semester of law school - my parents overheard me saying I wanted to be an "ambulance chaser" and thought I wanted to be a personal injury lawyer, instead of what I imagined, which was a shutter-shaded suburban commando who street-raced a Koenig-bodykitted Mercedes and literally chased down ambulances for some reason. I was four, but that didn't matter: it was time for them to develop this fantasy that I would become an attorney. It crushed them when it turned out that, actually, I would prefer to become just another grease-stained hobo like all of my siblings, cousins, and ancestors.

Whenever I speak at a school as part of my court-ordered community service, I remember this little experience. A lot of these kids don’t really understand how the world works. They’ve grown up watching poorly-translated Chinese cartoons where leftovers from their refrigerator turn into philosophy-spouting cops. Once they’re done with that, then they get to go to classes where they learn that the Vietnam War maybe didn’t happen and nobody can prove it either way unless whichever corporation sponsored the gymnasium disagrees. Ridiculous, right? So when one of them comes up to me after my big talk and says that it doesn’t matter what my PowerPoints said, it still sounds pretty cool to jump a mall fountain with a nitro-burning Baja Bug, I have to continue to calmly dissuade them.

Carrying this example a little further, if you’ll permit the indulgence, I often lead these kids out to the parking lot, where I have brought an example car. It represents what these children must never own. Sometimes it’s a Volare with hood zoomies, other times something as pedestrian as a ride-on lawnmower with a Detroit Diesel strapped to its ass. The important thing is that these kids understand that no matter how bitchin’ this sort of vehicle seems to them right now, they must grow up without acting on those impulses, until society can teach them to properly conform. No matter how excited I am to potentially be forming the next generation of petrochemical-huffing psychopaths, I could never encourage it.

Dreams change throughout a kid’s life as they develop a greater understanding of the world. It’s essential that parents not get too attached to any particular vision of their child’s future. Especially little Timothy Barnes, who is in Grade 7 at the junior high down the street, who is definitely never going to become a brain surgeon like his dad imagines. Mostly because I made him go under the Volare to figure out where that transmission leak was coming from (tiny bodies mean I don’t have to get under there myself), and he got all excited about the bad-ass Z-bar setup on the rear axle. His math teacher called me and threatened to report me to my parole officer because he wouldn’t stop asking about sway bars in class. Unfortunately, Timmy is likely to become a race car engineer.

[wo-wann-was-wer]

WHAT I WAS THINKING: DARK SEASON 3 EDITION

EPISODE 1:

Who are these dudes with the harelip and what do they want

Why did she just take him to a cave and leave that’s kinda rude

So everything in this universe is just gonna be backwards. Love it

Ugh I’ve said this a million times but this show has such Fringe energy and I can’t wait to get a tattoo for this too

This is super freaking me out, i dont like that everyone’s in everyone else’s house.

Ooooh Katharina with glasses yes girl you better work.

I like Michael and this hat he’s rocking

Super into the fact that magnus and fransizka are involved in this universe too

There’s nothing cuter than sex before school. Ahhh the nostalgia

Ten bucks says that Hannah gets out of this bed and is pregnant

Fucking YEP

I am loving Martha in this Jonas journey

I know that all they did was flip the lens of the camera but my brain is breaking at this flipped Winden

Who the fuck is this random dude Martha is with

You know what he kind of looks like Jonas. I wonder if that's relevant or if I'm just grasping at straws

Bartosz looks like he's going to his first grade violin recital

I straight up just did not recognize Charlotte with makeup. She looks hot

There's got to be another person in that picture other than Ulrich because that's a lot of space to rip out for one person

okay hold up Woller looks so good and then when I saw that he was missing an arm I almost lost my fucking mind

Oh shit okay Hannah is living in Katharina's house.

Oh my God are Ulrich and Charlotte having an affair

Is it normal in Germany for kids to just walk into classes that aren't there’s and just sit down

follow up he has a clear noose mark on his neck

Aleksander looks so hot with this beard. universe B is the fucking glow up universe

It's weirding me out that the whole school is black and gray instead of light brown

The look of satisfaction on katharina's face

Wow honestly Louis just broke my heart with his facial expression when he realized his mom didn't know who he was

he looks so scared

Yes yes do it afffffffffair

Oh no you done got found out!!!

Oh the theme of the play here is red and set of gold

Fransizka looks so cute in this little outfit

Oh my God she's deaf!!!!

What the fuck. the fact that this actress can talk is blowing my mind

RIP to Regina a real queen

Peter's a fucking priest

All the fucking weird-ass freaky motherfucking trio is back

The dopplers have the same house That's cool

excuse me sir I think your child is broken

these guys are so creepy What the fuck

I definitely don't like the piano wire

oh this motherfucker is the one who gets lost

I feel like winden in this universe is just a little bit fancier

Well Charlotte and Ulrich just be fucking like crazy

Bartosz is the Jonas of this group and I love it

who was that??????

I cannot get over Aleksander in this beard

I like that things are opposite but they also have things that are different enough.

Like I'm so into the fact that they all went down into the bunker

who in the unholy fuck is that. who is that

Oh shit old Martha

What the fuck is this Tannhaus’ factory we're at

hold up Martha's in 1888

What the fuck. why is Jonas in 1888 and looking SO good

EPISODE 2:

casually sitting over your bed watching you sleep

he's look so good though

yo what the fuck everybody else is there too

Oh no things got really ugly at Mads’ wake

Not for nothing but Tronte is a dick

I kind of don't understand why Claudia would want Regina to live in such pain in this type of universe

Peter is such a good boy

lurking is the freaking national past time of this place

Oh shit we got some spin-off timeline stuff good

who is This is blind guy

I love Katharina so fucking much

I know what she's thinking and it's the same thing I'm thinking which is can I kill a child

why does this picture of Tronte make him look like Jimmy Smits

Katharina looks amazing in this jacket

Also I definitely did not just start yelling GO GET YOUR MAN KATHARINA

Regina just gets more and more badass as time goes on. Also all of the women of the tiedemann family are so fucking badass

I am so excited to watch this fucking relationship develop. they're both too cute

awwww he's using signs!

oh they're writing back and forth

DAMNIT PETER

I always feel like little Noah should do fuckboy sign offs when he leaves rooms because he's so smooth

yesterday Laurel said that this was back to the future but serious and just now Bartosz said it's not super easy to get nuclear fuel in 1888 and now I think that Laurel's right

I will never get over how good he looks JONAAAASSSSSSS

This guy feels like the OG inventor of sic mundus right

Katerina why are you even trying to check in at the front desk bitch Go and get your man

Is this Katarina's mom why does she just recognize that woman's name

everyone on the show is so talented.I spend the whole damn time being like oh my god the performances on the show and it's like yeah we know

Katerina get your man

I literally love them so much look at the look on her face She is a mama bear She is not going to let anybody take her man or her children and I love her

Not a huge fan of people who quote Shakespeare right before they kill other people or am I an enormous fan of people who use Shakespeare right before they kill other people

using a garotte to kill someone is ugly as fuck

I feel so bad for Jana

see this is one of the reasons why I'm like why would you bring Regina back to this world.

wowwwww TRONTE what's up dude

YO WHAT

Oh so how did Charlotte get back there but Elizabeth's still there too. didn't they switch places?

oh the head bump

Not excited for the mother daughter abuse stuff that's about to happen

I love these split sequences that they do at the end

anytime somebody stands and stairs for a lonely at a spot on the ground I assume to somebody died there

Oh shit that guy is a tannhausokkkk I see you

a religious images we love to see it.

This show is a whole series of pause that frame.

No I ruined something for myself!!!!

EPISODE 3

got to love those through and through Ariadne references

okay so Charlotte's great great grandfather has her watch?

who are these horrible traveler human beings

they look like less sexy Francis dolarhydes

I can't get over the fact that wollers missing an arm here I swear

we ARE the glitch BITCH

alternate universe Ulrich is a better person than standard Ulrich

what's this new like zoom-y thing they're doing

I was attracted to Magnus at this jump of the show but he looks better with dark hair

How did they not all die of fucking flu

eternally repeating deja vu

I looked at the production stills and I was like what the fuck is this hair do that Moritz has but he looks amazing

Also everyone on this show deserves an acting award

and Magnus is wearing a skeleton sweater

Hannah does that deep dive detective work any bitch knows the Nose doesn't lie

why doesn't anybody want to fuck wöller

omgggg eat the RICH

also he has that x tattoo on his hand that represents the no future thing

oh the light is rectangular and not circular ooooooh fancy

The show is also a lot of people catching each other's wrists as they walk away

I knew we couldn't trust this bitch

What did he give her

I love the parallels and characters behaviors between universe a and universe b

I want to know how Noah factored into all of this on this side

Martha has a type and her type is iconically Aryan

Oh Aleksander's back with that beard he's back

Hannah is such a snake

Omg that's her!!!!! I thought she was a trans actress.. hm. not super happy bout that :/

What is Helge talking about Ulrich did what??? omg

I would be like SIR DO WE NEED TO FIGHT STOP FOLLOWING ME

I stopped taking notes for the last half of that episode cuz I was really sucked in haha

EPISODE 4

FIRST OF ALL I'D LIKE TO GO ON RECORD THAT I DON'T CARE FOR THESE GENTLEMEN AT ALL

second of all why is this guy being like oh I took your name

why does he have Agnes's bracelet I don't like that

I don't like anything about this guy That's the end of the story

Also hold up a red hot second is Agnes dead cuz if so that's a hate crime

see what did I say

I knew that Hannah was going to get involved with Egon

from the second she walked in that office I was like that bitch has her eye on him and as she should he's handsome as fuck

Also he spoils her so much more than any other man she's ever been with AKA is Egon the only man she ever deserved

Is Hannah going to develop a heart cuz I'm not sure how I feel about that

Also what happens if Hannah gets pregnant

why is Ines a bitch I thought she was mad cool the beginning and now I feel fucking deceived

Also it's such a sweet gig that The kids who are playing kids can now play teenagers

poor Doris. Also he was shitty to her but he was far nicer than I would have been

Doris is so beautiful it's bullshit

older Magnus is so handsome

All I wanted was middle-aged Martha

bitch you have been having unprotected sex with him why do you think that pregnancy was not on the tabl

I'm like who's this guy in the church if it's not Noah I bet it's that little bitch

yeah I fucking knew it

Is this the dude that was married to Agnes I feel like this guy isn't real or something

I'm not surprised he let her go but I don't know why I'm not surprised. I feel like she's important to his timeline and I'm not sure why

look at these relationships forming between these sweet little bab

Hannah looks good in this red. Hannah looks good in all of these styles. 

who is this child

I like that already as a child Bernd had his eye on Claudia as someone who was smart and had a ton of potential

 I keep forgetting that I'm taking notes because I get so invested in episodes

Also I realize the zoomi thing which is going back and forth between the universes

Is Agnes Silja’s mom And if so with whom 

he gave her Agnes’ bracelet that dope All right Tronte

Wow Claudia needs to back off her man

Claudia force him into a relationship with her

I fucking hate Hannah but sometimes she speaks so much sense

ooh I don't need anyone Yes girl that's true You don't need anyone You needing people was what made you act fucking crazy You don't need anybody

This was always my big problem with Hannah was that I initially identified with her because she was such a survivor but then she did such horrible reprehensible things I just couldn't let it go and I absolutely couldn't identify with her anymore

Oh here's my daddy Noah looking so good

I mean okay so I have been in this position before where I was cheating and then my man cheated on me and I was like how dare you but also you cannot be mad if your partner cheats on you when you cheated too. You both fucked up

Is Hannah going to have a redemption arc cuz that's a lot

Oh my God she's not going to get rid of this child is she

Oh my great God I cannot believe that she gave Helene that necklace. 

I knew she was fucking connected to Katharina in the older generation I knew it

Louis and Lisa are a super cute couple and I know that they're not dating in real life but I think that they're very cute together

Oh everybody fucking

yeah they created the Apocalypse yeah

Oh no they have a child outside of worlds that's a mess How does that work so they had they gave birth to that ugly fuck

honestly I hate that he's their child for the most part just because he's ugly as fuck and neither of them are ugly as fuck so it makes me mad.

[devillain]

Fear of Dogs, Dog Nicknames, and Doglike Tendencies

fear of dogs

Carlos has an obvious fear of dogs. For him his Cynophobia goes well beyond the words his mother said to him to make him fear them.

Carlos’ fear is ingrained in him. There are very very few dogs on the Isle, partially because of Cruella’s obsession with furs. The few dogs on the Isle are also associated with “evil” and aren’t the nicest. Carlos has had exactly one interaction with them, and he peed his pants, he was only 5 give him a break. But this interaction, when he reiterated it to his mother, is what started that conditioning to fear dogs. It was something Cruella used to keep a hold on him, and it worked, it worked so much he almost did not go to Auradon because of his fear of dogs.

Carlos’ first interaction with Dude is one of the most terrifying things he does in Auradon. Carlos hid it very well, but petting Dude was huge. The entire time he held Dude he was tense. He half felt like the dog knew who his mother was. Dogs tend to sense that, especially with Carlos. Cruella’s legend and story are passed around the canine world. So he was terrified Dude would attack him especially after Ben left. Dude had licked him and Carlos knowing nothing about Dogs, was pretty sure the dog was tasting him.

Carlos didn’t hold him for long when Ben left. In fact he essentially dropped the dog, and he and Dude had a stare down. Carlos then carefully left and Dude followed him which only added to his anxiety.

Eventually Carlos got used to Dude. It wasn’t overnight, and the dog only started sleeping in his and Jay’s dorm when coronation was upon them. Other small dogs were okay at a distance. Dude was the only dog he trusted so he carried Dude around because at some point it became a bit like a safety blanket.

However Carlos cannot handle big dogs, or dogs that bark alot. There are days where he can’t even handle Dude. Even into the time frame of Descendants 2, he just gets hit with a bunch of emotions that he can’t handle. His mom’s voice in his head is extra loud, every thing is too much and Dude becomes something he fears, and something he doesn’t want to get hurt because he struggles to not obey his mom’s voice.

It takes Carlos a few years to get used to dogs of all sizes. And even then it is a very very rocky road. He gets used to them, and really used to them when he goes to college, when he meets the Radcliffes, and gets his service dog Laurie, a dalmatian.

dog nicknames

First things first, Carlos is allowed to refer to himself in that manner (look I found a use for the dumpster fire that is book 4) because his chat name is in fact C-Dog. Carlos is okay with three people calling him Pup, the go to, or any dog related thing other than Pet. Those three people are Jay, Evie, and Mal. Those are the only people who have either express permission from Carlos to call him that, or Carlos has never complained about being called that by them (save for the one time with Evie in book 1 when they first met and even then it wasn’t a nickname). The only other person who calls him dog names, and dog related names that he will never put a fight against is his mother. It is canon she referred to him as pet, Evie thought he was a dog after all. Carlos will never correct his mother on this, or ask her to stop. The one exception being my left behind verse, where you can add Uma to the list.

If your muse was not listed above, it is safe to assume that calling him Pup, or Spots, and Dog-Boy, or whatever is not allowed. Carlos will automatically not like you. Carlos is not really a fan of nicknames in general. Carlos is just fine, and C is okay if you know him really well, Los is also permitted. Carlos however will not stop most kids on the Isle from doing it, though they do it in a more mocking tone rather than an actual nick name. He’ll tell them to stop, but it wont do much.

Carlos is so sensitive about the dog nicknames because of his mother. Everything with his mother is a pretty touchy subject. He loves a woman who abhors him, he atones for her wrong doings because he doesn’t think she can, and he truly does care for her in a weird fucked up way. However, when he was little he was treated like a dog, some of those behaviors have stuck with him, for example unless permitted he wont sit in a room, and when allowed he’ll only sit where directed, or he’ll sit on the ground. His go to is sitting on the ground if not told where to sit. With being treated like a dog— a puppy— whatever, came the first of the dog nicknames. Carlos never corrected his mother.

The nicknames are a sensitive subject with him because with the Core 4 they know enough to know what they really mean, no one else does, so calling him by those names is doing more than just putting Carlos in a bad mood, its reminding Carlos that for his entire child hood he wasn’t considered human. Carlos likes his name and would encourage people to call him by it.

doglike behaviors

Carlos has doglike tendencies, the core of these comes form his mother. His mother from the time he could crawl treated him like a puppy. When he could walk on two legs, she did what she could to keep him on all fours, which is when she started to give him chores.

She called him derogatory terms, and put to use much of the dog stuff in her basement. We know she locked him in the crate, I imagine for a while it happened at night, until it got too small for him to actually be able to fit in it. But he was still put in for punishments. She also called him “Pet”.

Because of these instilled and learned dog behaviors they carry over into his normal life. For example he doesn’t sit til told, and if given the option in a non-school setting he wont sit on the furniture. He does his best to not think about why he does things when and why he does them. The small behaviors don’t bug him like being called “Pup,” or “Runt,” or “Dog” does. Granted “Runt” and “Dog” bug him no matter who says it, but Mal. Evie, and Jay are all allowed to call him that without him getting pissed off. Anyone else shouldn’t do it, no matter what, that doesn’t stop the entire Isle from it. He also doesn’t correct people about it, like ever. Evie is least likely to do it because of their conversation from when she realizes that Cruella was referring to Carlos all those years and not an actual dog, and the fact that Carlos says it triggers him (granted I am not a fan of that phrasing in the book but we’ll go with it).

Behaviors that he does WITHOUT realizing:

Growling when angry or adrenaline is rushing (so for this and the one below Carlos does know he growls especially after Jay tells him— however Carlos does not realize when he does it, unlike when he whines and whimpers)

Growling to assert dominance and to protect protect

Tilts his head (you know the thing dogs do, he knows he tilts his head but he does not realize it is a dog behavior)

Run to just get pent up energy out (ie zoomies)

Chew lollipops and suckers instead of licking them like a dog would chew a bone

Play with toilet paper, trying to build things or whatever, picking it apart, but making a mess in the end

Makes a nest out of his bed when sleeping

Doesn’t sit til told

Opts to sit on the ground over furniture

Behaviors that he KNOWS he does:

Whine (whether this be in a form of begging, or not)

Whimper in his sleep (due to nightmares mostly)

Beg

Jump at people who he thinks he has an upper hand on

Cower when corrected

Run to avoid punishment (unless its Cruella)

While not a behavior his freckles are often linked with dalmatian spots (thanks to Cruella, it makes him oddly proud of them because he was born with them unlike dalmatians who are born sans spots)

Obeys direct orders

*both of these lists are ongoing

Carlos’ behaviors are best left not talked about. However that doesn’t stop people from talking about them, especially in Auradon when people notice it. It causes questions as to who his father is, many under the impression that it could possibly an anthropomorphized animal turned human such as King John from Robin Hood’s story. The truth is not so crazy.

Carlos is aware he has dog behaviors he fully accepts that as a fact of life, just as he fully accepts that his life is a pun and he must live with that. That does not mean he necessarily likes them being brought up, even by his best friends. Their are only so many dog jokes a kid can take. He also vehemently denies any of them when they are brought up.

[lychniis]

GENSHIN DUDES AS CAT BREEDS. GO.🐱

⚘ — GENSHIN MEN AS CAT BREEDS.

i. SYNOPSIS : tired cat mom talks about genshin men as cat breeds - and basically as cats as a whole. ( various x gn ! reader )

ii. WARNING(S) : nothing much save for some crack, cat behavior, mentions of dead animals, more cat behavior, me having to look up certain breeds because i only have experience with short haired alley cats like my two babus lots and lots of cute shit. NOT PROOFREAD.

# masterlist

&& . tartaglia | childe

starting off with him because he's the easiest, i'd either say the siberian ( from my mothers ye old tales of having taken one of these abandoned fluffers in, said abandoned fluffer leaving behind her two kids for the humans to deal with ) or kin...who is actually MY cat but trust me, if childe were a cat, he would be kin. petty to a point where he will leave a gift behind on my dad's bed solely because they hate each other? yes. somehow win the affections of my cat-hating aunt? yes. attention seeking and annoying? yes. ginger? yes. he's one cat very prone to getting zoomies so the moment he's excited, he's nyooming all over the place at mach speed.

&& . arataki itto

the maine coon, that's it. the moment i thought of cat itto, i thought of this breed. these fuckers are HUGE almost comically so ( and i mean it, they are bigger than most small dogs for crying out loud ) and they do seem to come across as playful and friendly. he seems like the kind of guy who cares little about your desk space and will climb up to demand your attention then just stretch out over it with a happy purr. he will ALSO unironically hunt down any bugs within your vicinity...only to bring them back to you ( rip if you're terrified of arthropods ). it's hard to stay mad at him though, with how sweet he is.

&& . diluc ragnvindr

a ragamuffin seems to be the first one that comes into mind. when i was still a big city girl, i volunteered at a shelter for a while and i saw one over there ( poor thing was pretty overheated since indian summers are relentless ). but the little guy was pretty laid back for the most part and somewhat standoffish and excessively preeny. ragdolls are pretty fluffy too so he would make a really nice cuddle buddy...until the fur gets all over your clothes. he also tends to set out at nights pretty often and gets back gifts for you to leave at your doorstep ( he learned not to bring them inside ) and very pointedly expects you to make use of it the next day. so uh...bury the poor things when he isn't around.

&& . kaeya alberich

birman. it's the pretty blue eyes, yes i am a basic bitch in her ideal habitat come at me. but as someone who also loves ironic and undeniably mean symbolism sometimes, the birman nearly went extinct in europe during world war ii ( and yes i actually had to look that up ). he latches on to your lap. the lap cat. you sit down? he's going to casually approach you and take his seat without batting an eye. don't question it or put him down, he will look painfully offended and may ignore you for the next two hours before he returns to sit on your lap again.

&& . xiao | alatus

devon rex. the face does it for me, and the big ears and eyes. xiao is already a bit of a stereotypical cat person in my eyes - distant, quiet, a little standoffish. and he does come across as that for the most part, either latching on to you or anyone he fully trusts. with anyone else ( especially strangers ) he flat out avoids them and watches them from a safer distance, either from behind a wall or from under a table or chair. it's advisable you don't pursue him till he get's used to you and the environment first or else he will get hissy. contrary to belief though, he keeps scratching to a minimum ( he's polite that way ) and only does so when he feels extremely threatened.

&& . venti | barbatos

the la perm is an easy win. we had one of these guys when i was still young and she was the loudest little thing ever. as a cat, he's going to be off on his own pretty often, wandering around the neighborhood only to return around mealtimes and chats up a storm with you. funnily enough, he only makes one nightly trip before he comes back home, chats up another storm when you're trying to sleep then settles down for a nap beside you. he tends to be a little in your face and carefree but he's pretty easy to manage apart from that and puts up less of a fuss around people, unlike xiao.

&& . zhongli | rex lapis

okay he's the last one because i am very conflicted between a few breeds. i think he's either be a burmese cat or a somali ( or perhaps even a mix between both ). almost painfully bougie and refined, he's more of an indoor cat who takes small walks around the neighborhood around the evenings. he also likes to collect your things o if your keys are missing, it's probably in zhongli's basket. he's also particular to certain tastes so he's a very fussy eater, has certain spots he likes being scratched and yes, you MUST give him a good brush down after the mentioned walks. he will stare into your soul if you happen to forget. otherwise? he's pretty calm and laid back and seems to take new arrivals better than you'd expect.

AINE | 2022. do no plagiarize, repost or rework this piece.

[azworkingdogs]

Why is My Puppy Not Eating

Ohhhh puppies!!!!  They are such simple yet complex little creatures of unconditional love.

They can also be busy and a bit fickle when it comes to eating.

I remember picking up my current female dog, a long trip to West Virginia from Georgia and offering her an early morning tater tot, she immediately thought I was trying to poison her.  Thinking about it from her perspective, tater tots are real food, so she was kind of right.

Now if I offered the same dog a tatter tot or something even shaped like a tatter tot she would probably try to eat it!

Again, puppy appetites can be fickle.  One of my puppies wouldn’t eat his puppy food until he had scattered his whole bowl of puppy food across the floor.

But I learned these endearing tidbits about their puppy appetites and behaviors fairly early on after their arrival.  It was normal for that pup. 

What is normal for one pup may not be normal for another!

Basic Puppy Feeding

There are about as many puppy feeding charts out there as there are charts on training your puppy.

Many of these puppy food charts are compiled by large dog food corporations, and believe it or not, that is a good thing and a bad thing.

Modern skepticism would tell us that a dog food leader in the dog food industry would recommend over feeding.  And, most of the time, I would agree.  Typically feeding a little less than they recommend is wise.

But, dogs, like humans have different metabolisms.  Puppies also have different metabolisms.  And, food is essential to growth.  No one wants a fat puppy (hard on growing joints) but also no one wants an emaciated puppy; one that can’t grow and is considered abused.  So the food companies are trying to come up with a general statistical “mean”. 

Statistical means refers to the average that is used to derive the central tendency of data in question; how much food should I be feeding my puppy?  Here is a great chart on puppy feeding.

Typically I tend to feed my puppies more and then cut back when they regulate into adulthood.  Adult dogs eat less.

Most Puppies Self Regulate

Most puppies self regulate if you are feeding them often enough.

I had always been taught by my mentor in veterinary medicine to feed puppies under 12 weeks old 3 times daily if possible and allow them to self regulate.  Give them 5 minutes of having the food bowl down and what isn’t eaten gets picked up.

A hungry puppy will probably eat until he is full.   Remember he has a tiny puppy stomach and a tiny puppy bladder (for potty training) and that he likely doesn’t need much to become full.

Make regular trips to your veterinarian.  Hopefully you are scheduling regular trips for vaccines and wellness checks, but they are certainly better educated at helping you keep your puppy on the right weight track.  A good vet will tell you when you have a fat puppy (and you are risking his growth plates) and if you can up his food just a smidge.

Adult dogs have more of a problem with over eating and gaining weight even with their dry kibble .

Know Your Puppy’s Eating Habits

I have had puppies that would never skip a meal or a treat; and I have had pups that seemed to constantly have attention deficit disorder (ADD) and have trouble focusing on anything much less a meal.  After a very short period of time it is apparent that skipping a meal here and there for these puppies is normal.

I still have one of these!  Sometimes he eats, sometimes he doesn’t.  I can see his ribs but he is healthy and self regulates.   I probably offer him 6 cups of dry kibble dog food a day for a 55 pound dog (that is A LOT).  But he is constantly in motion, has some anxiety, and sometimes just doesn’t feel like eating.  If the problem progresses I know something is wrong, but I also know his eating habits well because I believe in meal feeding.

If my other dog doesn’t want a treat I know she is seriously ill!  Eating habits are important to know and recognize.

The FDA has recently approved an appetite stimulant for dogs, 

Illness

Puppies really do need to eat.

If your puppy skips meals for more than 24 hours there may be something seriously wrong with him. An adult dog that isn’t eating may have less of a serious problem.  But a pup with a significant loss of appetite is a concern.

Most will never go this long without eating “something” or a small amount because they need those calories to keep up with the puppy zoomies!

One of the first signs of illness is refusing to eat, and it should be taken serious.  Even if you have a frequent meal skip-er or puppy with ADD when it comes to eating be sure you are at least mentally charting their skips or misses.

Water is the most important!

As we know your body can go days without food (not recommended) but after a few days without water dehydration becomes deadly.

Fewer people monitor their puppy’s hydration intake but it is even more important than monitoring his food.  Make sure that he is drinking.  A dehydrated puppy can get very sick and need hospitalization quickly!  Remember dehydration leads to death.

And adult dog that isn’t eating is much different than a pup that isn’t eating or has a loss of appetite.

Wet food can stimulate your pup to eat but it may mask a problem or give him diarrhea if he is not used to eating wet food. 

I actually try to avoid wet food with my puppies, because dry food is best for their teeth and I don’t want to teach them bad eating habits or to create an adult dog who won’t eat or who is refusing to eat.

Your adult dog’s health can be contingent upon some of the habits you build when he is just a pup.  Your dog’s diet is dependent on what you expose him to when he is a puppy.

Vomiting

Anything more than random vomiting should be of concern.  Yes, if you see your puppy drink a large amount of water, then chase a butterfly, then vomit; chances are you know the cause.  Some puppies do drink too much too quickly.

But vomiting is a sign of distress and the body trying to expel something. 

Vomiting also leads to dehydration (BAD)!

Diarrhea

Diarrhea can also be a cause for concern.  Again, it is one of those symptoms that can lead to dehydration (BAD).

Sure, I think all puppies get loose stool on occasion but it shouldn’t last too long and it should never effect their activity level. 

A lethargic puppy who isn’t eating with vomiting and diarrhea is bad news!

It can also be the body’s way of trying to deal with infection or disease.

Parvovirus is marked by dehydration, vomiting and serious diarrhea.

These can all be signs that your puppy has ingested a foreign body that may need surgical removal, and if not removed can cause death.

So, be prepared to allow your veterinarian to run blood tests and x-rays.  Puppies can be much more fragile than adult dogs, so in order to ensure his well being sometimes lots of tests and IV fluids are required.

Remember your dog’s health is crucial.

The Most Important Take Away

Puppies don’t have the immune system or bodily strength of an adult dog when it comes to illness.

Know your puppy!  Your dog’s diet is up to you!

Watch him eat, watch him drink, go outside and watch his bathroom habits. 

Keep an eye on him so that he won’t eat something he shouldn’t like a sock!

And, if he gets sick watch his signs and get him into a vet.

Yes, puppies get diarrhea, yes puppies vomit, they eat too much, they drink too much the run around like crazy people; but they need to be monitored like you would do to your own child.

If they become lethargic it becomes even more dangerous.   To find a vet near you click here.

Knowing the signs is one of the most crucial pieces of knowledge for prevention.

Then, keep an eye on him and monitor him until his good behaviors become conditioned and you don’t need to keep as close of an eye on him anymore!

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[tholupka]

I love you. You are one of the greatest gifts of my life.

It has been one year since I held you in my arms. I really don’t want to be marking this day on the calendar. I just want you here. Our time was cut way too short, Jakey.  I’m not sure I will ever makes sense of that. But, thoughts of you rarely make me sad. In fact, just the vision of you, brings on a flood of glorious joy.

You are my sunshine.

You were meant to be mine. There is no doubt. Your first family was to give up on you so that I could see you through your ‘special opportunities’. They were not joy warriors. They would not have been able to make sense of you like Melvin and I did.

You needed to know my love. In the process, I found more love than I ever knew existed.

You are the closest I will have ever come to having a child.  Not just because I changed your diapers and carried you, but because out of all the dogs I have had, you are the only one that relied on me completely. I doubt I will ever nurture anyone as much as I did you.

I was honored to be chosen to show you the way. But guess what little monkey, I think you guided me far more than I guided you.

Those months of intense grief that we shared after Melvin died, are forever, only ours. I would not have made it through if it were not for you. We grieved in exactly the same way and we needed space at the same time. Melvin was the Yin to your Yang but I was happy to fill in when it was just you and me. While I would have preferred you stayed here with me, I know that if given the choice between here and there, you would choose Melvin every time. Trust me. I get it. I love you even more for understanding so perfectly what Melvin love is all about.

Jakey, I love you completely, and beautifully and eternally. It’s a love that is woven through my bones.  It’s a crazy love, that even has me missing your damn meatballs sometimes.

You were not an easy puzzle to solve.  I hardly ever knew what to make of you.  I felt pretty confident, daily, that I had no idea of what you wanted or needed. You were my little cinder block. Impossible to read, unpredictable as F, and the funniest living creature that I will ever have the joy of laughing at/with/near.

I miss you. Some days, it’s still too much to put into perspective.

I’m not mad that life dealt you the hand it did.  I mean, I’d obviously prefer you lived a struggle free life, filled with joy and zoomies and peanut butter (and your odd carpet love making).  But that life may not have lead you to me. Sometimes, the road to true joy and unconditional love is paved by lessons in perseverance. That is our beautiful story, Jakey.

We earned our joy. We earned our love. I would only change that you stayed with me longer. It felt like there was not enough time with you. I will always feel that you deserved way more than eight years on this earth.  And this earth, deserved more you. There was just never enough Jakey to go around!  You brought the noise and the funk, and you were this tiny puzzle piece that when snapped into your forever spot, made our world come alive.

You made everything make sense.

Your eyes. I would give anything to stare into them (one at a time of course) again. But that is what all those photos and videos are for bud.  I can’t be a crazy dog person without admitting I have over 40,000 photos in my library. That library of memories of you and Melvin, is my most cherished possession.

There is something very soul changing about caring for a special needs dog. I remember how scared you were when your legs first gave out but Melvin rushed to you and I watched as you inhaled his love. I reached for you as your legs were swimming and you began to panic. You exhaled and melted into my arms and I knew and you knew and Melvin knew that no matter what was to come, we would always be there for you. Caring for you the last year of your life, with your eye, all the skin infections and the cancer, I learned so much from you. For all the shit that this universe dumped on you that last year, you responded with joy.

You and me, we won.

You and Melvin and me were meant to be. We are, and always will be, that little family who grew love and watched joy bloom.

Also, I know it’s  you who watches over Doug.  I know this with absolute certainty.  You are the perfect big brother for him. You guiding him makes my heart happy. I only wish you were here to torment him in person.  You would be the ultimate boss of him, bud! And, if you are taking request, calm him down any day now!

Jakey, my love for you lives on in so many beautiful ways. You changed me. I scroll my Facebook feed and I see a dog with no eyes or a dog dragging their legs and the old me would have said poor thing but Jake’s mom knows that there is nothing but opportunity in those photos. Because of you, I see the beautiful in the broken, I see opportunity for joy when faced with struggle. When the journey gets hard, I see you, and I’m reminded that all the obstacles, and all the twists and turns that occur, are part of my beautiful life unfolding. I know that you and Melvin and Max will always show me the way.

You know who doesn’t miss you?  All the neighborhood wildlife.  But they are stupid so who cares what they think.

I’m so grateful that I was chosen to love you. You are my beautiful purpose. My wonky, little-monkey. My googly-eyed, chicken nugget.

I love you. Your love lives on, in me. Forever.

xoxo

me.

Photo Credit: Kate With A Camera / Kate Juliet Photography

Photo credit: Kate Juliet Photography

    Dear Jake. I love you. You are one of the greatest gifts of my life. It has been one year since I held you in my arms.