#i have synesthesia so what XD

[feroluce]

So excited for today's post- @hydrachea has given me permission to share these text messages she made! ♡

The second one nearly had me crying because BOOTHILL TRYING TO FLIRT, DAN HENG MISUNDERSTANDING BECAUSE OF HIS ROWDY NATURE, AND BOOTHILL JUST STRAIGHT UP OFFLINING ABOUT IT SNZKKZMSKZKSKKS

[jackofallrabbits]

Hello :) Thought of something I think would be interesting * u * What might (Signs or Sources) Eclipse think of the condition: synesthesia (ie seeing certain colors when you hear certain sounds, tasting shapes, seeing certain letters in certain colors)? Like, if (either) y/n had it and tried to explain to him that they see letters/numbers in certain colors even when they're printed in black ink, or every time they hear certain sounds they also see certain colors with those sounds, what would he think about it? I imagine he'd at least be very curious and maybe even try to figure out how it works XD

It's true he would be very curious to discover how such a unique perception worked! He might even suggest cutting their head open to take a peek at that beautiful mind. Of course, with Sources he'd only be half teasing. But Signs would be very excited to tell him all about it so he wouldn't have to find out for himself. He might even assume that it was just something all humans did as a attribute of their species.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Now that you mentioned Zuma, what flavors do the other pups that have appeared in the show so far remind you of?

Took me some time, because a few of them I KNEW they reminded me of a flavor but I just-- Couldn't figure it out as quick as the others?? You have no idea HOW LONG I spent staring at Rocky here. "Man. My boy. My sweet precious child. I KNOW YOU REMIND ME OF SOMETHING, IT'S HERE, BUT WHAT IS IT--"

So far, for the pups I've seen up to now:

Chase -> Milk and Chocolate caramel candy. This one was instant, just like with Zuma, since I first saw him. He just DOES TASTE LIKE THAT, it's not the color, I swear-- or maybe it is???

Marshall -> Coconut. The white thing, not the water.

Skye -> Coffee with Milk. For a moment I thought it was Milk caramel candy, but she tastes more like coffee with milk, or the reverse, milk with coffee. Y'know, the very soft tasty one?

Rocky -> THIS ONE GAVE ME SO MUCH TROUBLE TO FIND OUT I KID YOU NOT-- He tastes like-- Water. Really. I know that sounds ironic. He hates water. But I look at him and THAT'S WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG, WATER IS A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF NEARLY NO TASTE?? But still it HAS a taste. Sweet Jesus Rocky why are you like this, couldn't you be anything like, Idk, MINT MAYBE, or tea, but noooooo, he tastes like WATER--

Rubble -> A kind of candy we call "Rapadura" here in Brazil. The condensed milk flavored one, specifically.

Zuma -> THAT ONE ORANGE FLAVORED CHOCOLATE EVERY MIXED CHOCOLATE BOX HAS HERE and very few people actually like it, it's always one of the last ones to be left in the box after everyone picks their favorites... Which makes me happy because, despite not being one of my favorite chocolates, I still like it a lot so this means MORE CHOCOLATE FOR ME~ XDD

Everest -> At first I thought it was Açaí smoothie, but no. She tastes like PLUM flavored yogurt. At this point I'm wondering if these tastes are tricking my brain and tastebuds mostly based on their colors, but then there's Rocky--

Tracker -> Pé-de-Moleque cake. I think it's a Brazilian recipe too, made with cashew nut.

Anyway these are the pups I've seen in the show so far. I'll go and continue watching now that the basketball game is over, my bro was watching it. For some reason my phone's refusing to login my Paramount+ account now so, laptop connected to the not-so-smart-TV it is for now XD

On a sidenote, I DO NOT HAVE SYNESTHESIA AS FAR AS I'M AWARE OF. I know I'm literally talking crossed senses here like seeing colors and feeling tastes, which is common for people with Synesthesia (or other kinds of crossed senses like hearing a sound and seeing a color for it), but as far as I know, I don't have it. I might be wrong, maybe I do have it and just never connected the dots, but still. It's just my taste perception of these adorable little fellas.

[twobrokenwyngs]

Jackie I'm still saving the last ep but. I need to hear your thoughts about TD. Is there a tag where you've screamed about it? Or feel free to do it again!! What do you love about it. Tell meeee

screaming and crying over this ask tbhhh

firstly - I do have a true detective tag! and a rust cohle tag! and a rust x marty tag! and although I don't have a distinct tag for meta & such, I infuse most of my reblogs with an insane amount of unhinged raving in the tags, so, lmao. it's def there if you want it! XD

secondly - there is actually a lot I can't say without you having seen the last episode, in particular the way the show ends. one of the things I love is the fullness of their arc(s) and the way they're changed by the end, for which you gotta see how it wraps up!!!

all that aside though... man. why I love this show is almost too big and amorphous to answer lol, but I'll give it a shot!

lmao whoops this got long

I mean... one obvious variable is Rust himself. I am so endlessly compelled by both the tragedy and the potential of him. by thinking about who he used to be - when he had Sophia, when he had Claire. he tells Papania and Gilbough that the job didn't make him that way but that being that way made him right for the job, but was he always that way? was he always a lonely jaded cynic, a product of growing up in the Alaskan wilderness with nothing but his imagination and his synesthesia to keep him occupied? is his nihilism baked into his DNA or was it carefully constructed after a lifetime of being abandoned and disappointed, used and discarded? the thing about him is that he wears that nihilism on the surface, almost like a badge of honor, but there is always this pervasive sense that he is in a state of grief for the things he no longer allows himself - love, desire, softness, comfort, hope. he has made himself into this target for other peoples' pain and bullshit because it slides right off him, so he might as well, right?

like, the whole thing with Crash... that REALLY fucks me up. episode 4 is actually my favorite, and Crash is definitely a huge part of that. he accesses a whole different part of himself to inhabit that person. you can tell that during his time with the Iron Crusaders, he was like... their pet. fed drugs and passed around, used and abused, all for the sake of "the job," but it so clearly was a way to exercise self-punishment, an excuse to remove himself from polite society and just give in to his baser nature. when it came time to put Crash back on, he donned him like a second skin, confident to the point of mania, in a way that breaks my fucking heart. I could go on and on about Crash tbh, it almost warrants its own post lol.

and then there's like, the way he has somehow both no relationship with his body and yet a strict routine for its upkeep. he keeps the engine running (or at least he did, for a while) but he doesn't allow that body so much as the dignity of sleeping with a bedframe. he doesn't use it for pleasure, he barely knows how to control it when he's not using it for his job. and yet, every single thing about his physicality compels me. his slouch. his gait. his little mouth noises. matt mcc I can take or leave, but I think Rust specifically is one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen or ever will see.

okay... let me move on to Marty. Marty is fucking fascinating to me. he's a bastard and an asshole and a hypocrite and I think so much about the way insecurity rules his life. he makes all of his choices based on what he thinks he should want, what kind of man he thinks he should be, and he will delude himself to the point of absurdity in order to realize that vision. (it's why, in my headcanon, comphet plays a huge role in his relationship with Rust and with himself, but that's another story.) like, Marty doesn't actually want to be a family man lmao, but, he has to want to be one. where Rust has given up all illusions of being any sort of person at all, Marty has made pointed decisions about what kind of person - what sort of Man - he is, and that's that. so, nothing slides off him, because everything challenges his fragile sense of self. he overcompensates, he's a product of generational toxic masculinity - by all accounts he's a total stereotype. but like... that's what makes his relationship with Rust so goddamn irresistible.

there's just so much going on there, constantly. Marty claims not to want to get to know Rust, but he can't stop digging and prying, and his protests about what he finds are so... performative. he can barely show up for his own family in the most basic of ways but he's constantly bringing Rust food & coffee, voicing concern about the way Rust lives, trusting him, vouching for him - he cares. so much. and because there's no road map of Expectations to dictate that care, he never becomes suffocated by it. and Rust, despite himself, can feel all of that. it is no small thing for Rust, the eternal lone wolf, to have a partner. he most definitely knows Marty thoroughly - knows when he's lying to himself, knows when to call him on it and when not to. for Marty, he makes a space. carves a notch into the solid rock of his soul and reserves it for Marty alone. after their split, he never really recovers. neither of them do. Rust never fixes his taillight, Marty lets everything dissolve once and for all and spends years alone with his microwave dinners, because what's the point? what they felt when they were together, what they had, was incredibly profound and deeply beyond articulation (they're not willing to do it, even if they could.) and it is truly in the finale that you see the veracity of that change, what means to unexpectedly reclaim the thing that changed you.

anyway, this was just sorta a stream of consciousness, not particularly considered and very off the cuff, and therefore barely skims the surface of why I love this show. I'm sure I'm leaving out so, so much. and of course, it doesn't even touch on the baser reasons I love it/them - I love stories about bitter washed-up old men!!! I love the idea of what they could mean to each other! theirs is some of the only fic I've ever cried at or reread. their happiness, their future, is so ridiculously important to me. and I love the music! and the southern gothic vibes! and Rust's scraggly long hair and his insane mustache and how good he looks in that black shirt when he takes Marty to the storage locker!!! I love that from that first episode, the moment Rust showed up at Marty's door plastered and crying, I knew I was done-for. I mean. y'know?!?!?!

welp lmao. I don't think all THIS is what you asked for but it's what came outta me, so, hey. thank you for giving me a reason to think about them tonight!!!

[anotherghoul666]

🎵 🐰 🧡 🦖🎤 I'm in your asks again

You're right where I want you dear ;)

🎵 Last song you listened to? Welcome to my Island by Caroline Polachek. My dude. My guys, everyone, listen here. She's incredible. Her 2019 album Pang was the best dreamy ethereal lyrical hyper-pop record I'd heard at the time, and she did it again. She relased her new album Desire, I Want to Turn into You last week and it's INCREDIBLE. I have spun it non-stop for a few days and it singlehandedly holds my mental health above water while I struggle with my shitty work rush. I have no semblance of a sleep schedule, I am a shell, I cry twice a day because of lack of emotional regulation from lack of sleep, but I'm gonna go down in fucking style while vocalyzing along with her fucking insane voice flips and I'll look good doing it! I love this artist, I love how quirky she is, I love how disconnected she is from reality and what's normal. She is so fucking neurodivergent you couldn't fake it, I love her I love her I love her!

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person? I just answered that here and this is one I don't have an alternate answer for.

🧡 A color you can't stand? I have a hard time with green. There are a few very specific shades of green I love; a vast majority of green shades make me feel absolutely no emotion; and there are some shades of green that legit piss me off for existing. Who the fuck knows man, my brain is weird. Maybe it's the synesthesia. Maybe my brain's giving colors personalities. There are some greens I legit want to punch in the face. In their lack of face. In their no-face. Anyway.

🦖 Favorite extinct animal? I answered that one here and I honestly can't think of more right now? If yall have other examples of prehistoric tentacled monsters we're missing out on today, lemme know! I am open to a creature actually cementing itself as a solid fav, because I am interested but lukewarm at best about extinct animals. I never had the dinosaur phase.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to? Literally thousands. Music and metal music specifically is my main special interest and the first special interest my autistic brain fully latched onto from when I was 7. It got exponentially worse over the decades. My brain is an encyclopedia of lyrics, album information, band information, etc. Play me a song once for clean vocals and 2-3 times for screams and I'll know it. It's a bit of a problem because there clearly is no space for all that data in my brain versus other "normal" things I should know like, you know, maths and shit. My brain will remember by heart and be able to sing along to the entirety an album I haven't heard in 20 years. Not only that but I'll know the song titles, tracklist number, band members on the track, which album it's from, and likely writing credits and producers. But basic math make me foam at the mouth from how much I can't process. So like? Is it a win? I'll take it as a win XD

[mikaharuka]

So... I was originally tagged by @0nelittlebirdtoldme for this, but in the meanwhile, have also been tagged by @udaberriwrites and @mrsmungus, so here I am!

I'm tagging (no pressure, ofc) - @alpaca-clouds, @danceswithdarkspawn, @sliebman10, @kayedium-writes, @tamras-shieldmaiden, @oceangirl24, @aislinnstanaka, @frozen-fountain, @hylianjo, @lena-hills, @zkang288, and am leaving the open tag for anyone else interested!

(If you do both, which one do you do more)

One-shots or multi-chapter - see, before Apricity, I'd have answered "one-shots", but look at me now XD

Outline or No outline - I do have a vague, big picture outline of where I start, where I end, and key points in the middle. However, I definitely navigate the details in between on a panster-like basis, thanks to my last-minute, brilliant, epiphany-laden mind.

Betas or No betas - I say this... but I run my mouth to Annie (@udaberriwrites) in the DMs enough that she's basically an unofficial beta/sounding board XD

With OCs or Canon-only characters - Seeing as I'm working in an almost-original verse, using OCs in secondary/background characters is basically inevitable.

Consistent releases or Whenever it's done - please, my sense of time does not exist~

Canon/Canon or Canon/OC

Canon setting or AU setting - Not just AU, but AU enough to end up being ~98% original work. The 2% is just enough to have the characters and setting be recognizable enough XD

Present tense or Past tense

Take requests or No requests - I only recently put out a 1-word prompt post for fun, but that's not common at all.

Tumblr or AO3

Write on computer or Write on phone

Chapter Titles or Numbered Chapters - This one should be obvious to those who follow my stuff. I perceive colors and ideas with chapters, rather than arbitrary numbers, thanks to synesthesia. Hence the color-shade titles in Apricity, the element/nature titles in Mahabhuta, and the Chakra names in the eventual Dharmachakra chapter titles.

Shakespearean Comedy or Greek Tragedy - I do elements of both, but since the former was "everyone lives" and the latter was "everyone dies"...

One POV or Multiple POVs

Reader-insert or Third-person

Use of Y/N or No use of Y/N

What rating: General Teen Mature Explicit - Although I have fluffier oneshots of the G/T sort planned, M/E is definitely my natural habitat~

[anonofseasons]

Maybe it's due to not having spoons (fibro and the heat are getting to me bad), but my mood is up and down, and my feelings about Seasons are going up and down with it?

I'm like, "Oh this part is cute and I'm excited to share it!" and "Cal, shut up, please, you're being annoying. Keep it to yourself!" No one has said I'm being annoying. I just get super self-conscious now, bc... history of being told I'm annoying. Also, it's rather recent that I'd tell my now-ex that I was excited about something - that I'd finished a first draft or gotten a map drawn - and she'd respond with stuff like, "Did you see the witch Bath and Body Works diffuser?" (I had to beg her to congratulate me. I would do so for her when she had accomplishments, but mine? Meaningless.) Back to Seasons, though. I've been anxious that it's too long. I'm not out to set some arbitrary word count limit here. I mean "Was this really necessary, or did you just get too self-indulgent, and now you have too many loose ends to tie up?" (This is exacerbated by my writing out of order and fearing I'll forget something by the end.) That's just my brain, there. Worried that I was excessive and have made a mess, rather than a coherent story. I'm also worried that I sound so egotistical now that I'm finding joy in talking about my writing/characters. (This ties in with the first issue, that I should "shut up" haha...) I had such a weird process for years. I enjoyed the process of creation, but I... thought I was shitting out garbage. Characters, writing style, story, everything. Someone once told me years ago that I wrote nothing but man babies, and someone else later said the same thing. Second person also said my writing style induced their synesthesia so they couldn't stand to read my stuff. There have been other things, those are just some examples. It's so painful. I don't feel like I can become a better author if I don't have helpful criticism, but I've certainly had the destructive stuff launched at me. I'm still working on myself. I was only 13 months ago I got self-conscious and decided to stop sharing any of my writing publicly, so I locked up everything on AO3 in a private collection, I deleted or hid everything on google docs and other sites. And I struggled to finish Rascal (which I posted the final chapter just a few weeks before that and then ended up locking it up, haha), and now I'm struggling a bit with Seasons. I don't always struggle with ending stories, but... sometimes I do, and it definitely sinks my mood. I'm lucky in that some people have found my writing and been supportive. I'd be fucked if I didn't have @yume-x-hanabi being so supportive and nonjudgmental. She's a good writing buddy. And I have another friend who also just checks out my writing despite meeting her through fandom as well, even picked up Seasons despite the heavy content. ;A; That's a blessing. But sometimes I'm still working on saying, "No, I do love myself and these things. It doesn't matter what other people have said. They're a few people. They were mean. They don't define you or your work." Still, it sneaks up on me and leaves me scared that I have more work ahead. That I need to get better and better now, because if I want a career out of this, I'm going to have to bust my ass. And it's funny... I do enjoy the process of writing, I love building characters and writing stories and creating lore. I just wish after it was all done, I wasn't fearful that I just hot-glued a bunch of steaming shit together, and I refuse to see it...? XD; (Sorry that's a disgusting mental image, but... it wouldn't hold together, is my point.) Anyway, sorry if you read this for rambling so much. It's kind of negative. I gotta cheer up. ;A;

[heartxshaped-bruises]

mun’s taste in muses: 2, 5 , 11

15 QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MUN'S TASTE IN MUSES !!

                                                        ✧･ﾟ  𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃.

2. Are there any tropes that pull you in or that you realise are reoccuring in your muses?

I'm not sure if this question means tropes that you could find all across my muses or if it concerns themes that are reoccuring in them whenever there's a new interaction. In the first case I'd say that some of them have a hard time opening up and being their authentic self, hiding usually behind a snarkier attitude than most people. But that only concerns the muses that kind of have recycled traits from muses I already kicked off this blog and my old ones ages ago. So that's hardly a surprise. Like, if I split up one muse and distributed some of their characteristics between two or more, you know? In the second, ofc some of my muses have themes and tendencies that will always follow them around bc it's tied to their personality or life. Referring to Joe f. e. bc he gets attached very easily and hence, the risk of obsessing over someone is omni-present. Luce has interacted with many other muses who enable him in his bad habits and vice versa. I think Abel has only met two people outside of the crime network with whom he ever interacted and who wasn't the heir to another mob family, too. Some things are just more likely, I suppose.

5. Who is / was your favourite muse of all time to play?

Definitely Jeremy. Let’s just say that the experience at my old HS got me very interested in how teenagers can turn into the darkest versions of themselves due to unfortunate circumstances and the worst of timing. What flips the switch in their head and makes them spiral, closed off, a target, the antagonist of their own story and in the one of everyone else... that kind of stuff. A very troubled kid who was obsessed with the concept of revenge, totally caught up in his unhealthy, limited view of things. Spending his time in internet forums, living out his fantasies online and talking to others with the same ideas, rooted in a coping mechanism that grew into something horrible. I think he was my favorite muse to write because he felt the most authentic. Writing him was really some experience and paid off a lot, considering the movie project it resulted in. It got me into movie school and also gave me the life-long interest to educate myself on this subject and dive deep into reading and writing scientific papers, books, watching documentaries, talking to others who were involved or interested in those things. His character had a very important impact on me as a person & filmmaker and it reflects in the themes I pick up in my work.

11. Have you ever built or picked up a muse because you wanted to use a certain faceclaim? How did it go?

Haven't we all ?? xD Yeah, ofc that happened. I don't know, I'm a visual person. That's why I do films, it's what tickles my creativity and my synesthesia always spits out some interesting things I can work with. Examples on here would be Emry (the most obvious lbr), Max, Zelda, Luce and Casper and some old muses that aren't on this blog anymore. The rest either used to have a different FC or got it after I wrote the character. Like, sometimes there are those FCs I would love to write but not without the right character who I know is going to be a real thing. I can't really say if it goes worse or better than the other way around. I don't sense any difference.

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Oh of course!! I’d love to ramble about this :D

Okayokay SO! Synesthesia is a neurological trait in which someone’s senses are triggered, involuntary, by another entirely unrelated sense. An example would be someone hearing music (ears) and “seeing” shapes or colors in the air around them (eyes). Synesthesia is a form of neurodivergency, but in most cases it doesn’t have an adverse affect on life like autism or ADHD would (in other words there’s not really a disability aspect to this, at least most of the time).

When I discovered that synesthesia existed a couple years ago (I’m pretty sure I found out about it because of AJR? one of the guys in the band has synesthesia and when I heard that I went “huh, wonder what that is!” and looked it up) I was under the impression that it was only about people seeing colors when they listened to music or saw words/numbers on a page. Like, I thought that was what synesthesia was, and there were no other forms of this neurological trait.

But then this year!! I discovered that there are actually numerous forms of synesthesia!! Far more forms that I had even imagined there could be! And one of those forms is lexical-gustatory synesthesia, which means that words have tastes & flavors!

I’ve been able to taste words ever since I was teeny tiny, but I was under the impression that 1) either I was really normal and everyone experienced this, or 2) I was really weird and no one else experienced this. I had No clue that it was a form of synesthesia until earlier this year!!

Once I discovered that lexical-gustatory synesthesia was a real Thing that existed, I looked into it some more, researched, pondered. It’s been quite helpful having like… a name to put this weird little trait of mine to XD And it’s really cool to me that there’s Other people out there who experience this same thing!!

Here are some examples of word-flavors that I taste so you can maybe understand a little better :)

bed = vanilla cake with icing

prairie = blueberry muffin

carfuffle = fluffy pancakes

jail = cold metal

tropical = bananas and pineapples

Some of these are pretty logical (bananas and pineapples are both tropical fruits) and some have a direct explanation (I watched an episode of Go Diego Go where there were prairies, but the way they were animated reminded me of blueberry muffins) but other times, they don’t… really make sense? They’re very random, and most of them are not super logical XD

On top of this, certain sounds also have flavors to me!! I’ve listened to songs before where the guitar playing tasted like sweet tea; French accents taste like pancakes; Mexican accents taste like warm tortilla chips. I’m not sure if this would also count as lexical-gustatory synesthesia or if it’s some other form… either way, I can taste words & sounds & accents :)

So yes!! I hope this was helpful! If you’re curious about anything else or have questions or anything I would LOVE to talk some more about this :D

It is just me & lexical-gustatory synesthesia & Ghostbur against the big scary world.

[a-rose-by-any-other-doctor]

Wow, 42 really is the answer to the universe XD

In that case, #27?

You have a terrifying ability to find the Doctor Who tracks on my Spotify wrapped. but fortunately, this one was Rose's theme (I find it endlessly amusing that both of their themes came up. its fitting).

This is completely unedited and unbeta'd so I apologize for any mistakes.

Rose's May We Be

The Doctor had never been exceptionally musical, recorders and spoons aside, but he knew enough about how instruments and musical notation worked to stumble his way through jotting down the little melodies that lingered in his mind thanks to this body's overly sensitive time senses.

Every creature in the universe made ripples as they moved through time and for some reason, this body seemed to interpret them as music, like some strange form of synesthesia. He’d already written down several little melodies and tucked them away. Charley had caught him at it one day and teased him about writing theme songs for everyone. And then she’d wanted to hear her’s.

But now there was something new. It reminded him of that golden age of science fiction in the late 20th century on Earth. When everything had been low budget but filled with actual meaning and rich stories worth telling. It was haunting and hopeful, curious and filled with such a strong sense of longing that it made his hearts ache. It reminded him of being a child and stepping out into the snow for the first time, the delight of seeing new places and the pain of having things end. It felt like a beginning and an ending all wrapped up into one.

And he had absolutely no idea who it belonged to.

He played through the melody again on his piano, finally playing the piece in its entirety and was shocked when the hum of the TARDIS changed to match. His fingers froze and his ship made a disgruntled noise so he continued on until he’d worked through all of what he’d notated. The TARDIS made a rather pleased noise and brushed affectionately against his mind. “Is that your song, then?” he asked her.

She responded with a negative and pressed the image of a woman, wreathed in golden light and standing in the entrance to the TARDIS into his mind. The Doctor sucked in a breath, completely in awe of the woman. She was radiant and impossible, looking as though she’d swallowed time itself.

He couldn’t make out her features, only the fact that she was blonde and had on some sort of pink sweater. But with the image came a rush of emotion; pure, unbridled adoration. The TARDIS loved this woman, even now. This golden goddess…

His hands scrambled for his pencil, quickly writing a name at the top of his sheet music even as his mind's eye stayed entirely focused on what the TARDIS was showing him. When he finally looked down to see what he’d written, he was surprised to see that it just said Rose.

Strange name for a goddess, certainly, but then again, it fit the music. He wondered if it was her name, or perhaps just something related to her.

As much as he refused to believe in deities of any kind after everything he’d seen and been through, he may start believing in her.

[justhannigramfics]

3, 4, and 10 😘✍️✍️

For the Writer Asks~~~

Your writing has held me hostage for awhile now- and I cannot wait to binge your stories again sometime soon 🥰

XD Alright.

3: What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

That's funny, because I have almost no ritual at all. I write whenever and wherever I can, and it doesn't matter what's going on around me. When I sit down for a long bit of writing at my actual keyboard, I usually turn on a horror movie to watch while I work, and I usually read the paragraph I left off on, but other than that I have basically no rituals for writing.

It's cursed because it doesn't exist. I don't have to work myself up for it or get into the mood. I'm always ready.

4: What's a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Synesthesia

I don't know why, but I just love it as a concept and a word. The way it sounds. It's delicious to me. I don't know if that counts, but that's what I've got.

10: Has a piece of writing ever "haunted" you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I'll admit, Dread and Hunger by LiaSo is my absolute favorite fanfiction I've ever read, though some have recently started to come close. I've read it multiple times and I think about it all the time when I'm writing. It's a good kind of haunting, to me, but there nonetheless.

My own writing has never truly haunted me in a good way. My first fic haunts me because I can't help but cringe when I read or think about it. I sometimes hope people will overlook it so they won't read it because I want to pretend it's not there.

I guess that's the two ways writing can haunt me. Good and bad.

Thank you for sending me an ask. I hope you're happy with my answers, or at least satisfied. <3

[adrawatcher]

Sooooo names. Kish/Kisshu/Quiche/Dren and over 20 year long debate on what the call the space elf. I don't claim answers but I do have my own preferences and a wonderful reason for them:

I have synesthesia!

So all these names come with colours for me and that dictates my preference entirely. I don't care if someone else prefers his names in a different order to myself, I'm just rambling about myself here. So anyway colours!

Kish is green so it's my top pick for him! It goes with his hair so well! Perfection in matching words with character design for me only lol.

Next Kisshu is still still green BUT Uu is a very pink letter for me! So it's green with a bright dash of pink at the end which also fits sooooo perfectly! xD My mild preference for Kish over Kisshu here is mostly about having a character be a complete thing out side of a ship but sometimes hmm Kisshu.

Dren was the 4Kids name therefore Not Valid™️ but it is brown so it kinda goes with his outfit.

Finally Quiche is silver which to me fits the least. The Q and che make a very strong colour together. I know it's a lot of peoples preference but it just doesn't fit his character design well enough for the messed up crossed wires in my brain unfortunately. I don't mind reading it in fic but won't be using it myself. Typing it out every time and getting silver would just be wildly annoying.

Lmao so there we are my name preferences, which are really colour preferences in disguise.

[corpupine]

Ooo interesting! Can I ask you something about your synesthesia? It’s just numbers? Not normal letters? Also can you see colors of numbers in different language? If you can would it be the same in every language? The example that you said 93 is gradient, did those gradient come from 9 and 3 color or it’s its own color? Like if you saw it as gradient then what would a really long numbers look like? What about base numbers? Would you know the numbers ink color?

Oooh, these are all really great questions! I saw the replies on my original post, but I decided it might be nice to make a separate post :D And don't worry, I don't find any of this insulting, it's fun to talk about!

I have a lot to explain, so the rest of this answer will be under the cut!

First, I think I should explain something! There are several kinds of synesthesia, and several different ways that it can manifest. I have grapheme-color synesthesia. As this link explains, that means that I experience written numbers to have specific colors. Some people do actually, literally see the colors that they associate with these numbers. However, this is a fairly rare occurrence.

For me, though, this isn't the case! I only perceive that the numbers have certain colors--that is, I know that the number 3 written here is black, I can see it as black. But to me, I also just know that 3 is a very distinct shade of red! I would compare it to the way people talk about auras. Instead of seeing that 3 is red, I just feel that it is. It's kind of silly, and I have been told that it sounds like I'm on drugs when I talk about it XD but that's how I experience my synesthesia!

I see numbers in color, but not necessarily all letters. Sometimes I get a 'vibe' from certain letters, but it's nowhere near as strong as the feelings I get about numbers. If the number is written out (like neuf for 9 in French) I wouldn't get the experience of synesthesia. I also don't get that feeling when people say numbers to me out loud, unless I can visualize them in my head or write them down. The auditory experience of hearing a number doesn't impact my synesthesia.

The gradient thing is actually one of my favorite parts of having synesthesia! It's how I discovered I had it in the first place. Yes, the gradient of 93 comes from the color of 9 (maroon) and the color of 3 (red). In groups of 10 I think my synesthesia gets stronger--so 50 is a more powerful color than 5, etc.

I think my synesthesia is also stronger when the numbers are significant in some way. 4945743086695 does not strongly trigger my synesthesia (beyond a mishmash of the different colors). However, the number 1984 is one of my favorite gradients. It looks like this:

Dates, or years in general, have a strong impact on my synesthesia. (This made history class fun, because instead of memorizing boring years I could just memorize the gradient colors behind the years and it was much faster XD)

I don't know enough about base numbers to know whether that would trigger my synesthesia! To me all I see is zeros and ones, so that's just white and black.

A lot of your questions connect to the idea that I literally see the color on the page, but I do not--I only perceive it that way. So yes, I can read any number regardless of what colored paper it's printed on or what lens I'm looking through. But as for 6 and 9 on reflected glass, those have a very different feeling--6 is the color of lavender, a light purplish color, and 9 is a rich maroon!

Thanks for being interested in my weird brain! I hope it was cool to learn a bit more about how my synesthesia works, haha.

[thewriterowl]

pianist! luke is adorable but pianist! din? with his beautiful and damned vibe.

Obviously he is a genius who has lost inspiration.

And Luke could be, I don't know, the cleaner guy who works there to pay for college.

One day he enters the room and finds Din trying to compose something.

Din is an asshole at first because lack of inspiration is stressing him out and he acts like shit like:

What the fuck are you doing in here?

But then he sees this little sunflower and well...I guess he could stay in this room forever.

And suddenly (who would have thought?) the inspiration returns.

so he tries to spend more time with him until they obviously fall in love.

You decide what song Din will write for Luke XD

Ooooh pianist Din is super sexy. Of course, anything of Pedro Pascal doing anything is remotely sexy.

Yes, Luke is this cute cleaner paying for college or medical debt who loves music and listens to everyone preform secretly. Maybe he used to want to be a violinist but either an accident or abuse had him lose a hand and he couldn't play any more. Din is his favorite musician and thinks he has the most gorgeous music (maybe Luke even has some synesthesia and can see or feel the music in a different way).

Din is angry at first and yeah, he sees Luke is this sweet, cute little sunflower (aaauuugh, another cute pet-name for him) and allows him to stay (forever) especially when Din soon finds himself able to compose and preform a lot easier than ever really. So he realizes that this man is a muse of sorts and needs him to be close so he can get his music completed.

Maybe he finds out about Luke's past and how he can't preform his own music any more because of his trauma and injury so Din finds he wants to preform for Luke all the time now. Also, Din (Pedro) has such a nice voice that he hums when he composes and it really soothes Luke.

Yeah, he soon falls head over heels in love with the sweet muse. His little sunflower :D maybe he hums Luke to sleep if he is having nightmares, has Luke sit next to him if he is practicing, and composes a lot of dreamy, romantic ballads for him.

Poor Luke, who is not used to such grand romantic gestures is all flustered.

I am so bad at picking music!! I dunno! There are so many possibilities! This guy's music is pretty gorgeous.

[anotherghoul666]

5, 27, and 29 :)

Heya Fruits! :D Thanks for participating! ❤️ 5 and 29 I just answered in my previous ao3 wrapped ask over here, 5 I can't very well answer twice, but you know what, one more 29 ask means I get to share one more favorite passage, so!!

27. What do you listen to while writing? I listen to absolutely nothing! One of the aspects of my neurodivergency is sensory processing difficulties, and audio processing is Complicated in my brain. I have a hard time listening to two "audio tracks" at the same time, and by that I mean, not like two songs or anything, but two sources of noise, and that includes voices and my own inner voice because I do process that as "hearing" somewhat. Like for example, I absolutely cannot listen to music if there are lyrics and have someone talk over the song. I will legit snap at people. We talk before or after or we pause the song but we do not talk over a song. Because if there's two voice tracks, the lyrics and the person speaking to me, it all becomes absolute mush in my brain. I can't hear anything or make our words anymore and if it lasts a long time it will invariably trigger a headache from the concentration of trying to makeout words. The exact same thing happens with my inner voice when I write. I absolutely cannot have any other source of sound around, and especially not music with lyrics, but like, someone listening to TV with people talking in another room? Neighbours talking in the apartments below me or outside? I'll hear it and I will not be able to write anymore. I'll pause until the noise track stops. Because all the words will become the consistency of a slug's mucus trail in my brain. That mushy. So yeah. tl;dr I can't listen to anything else other than my own brain and the sound of my keyboard while I write otherwise words cease to exist XD

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? I'm dropping another one! From Blood Rush again, Mountain's scent description. Very very tied to my synesthesia and making myself smell/taste things while I write: "Mountain smelled like the forest, but a very specific set of foresty scents. Wet wood, fallen uprooted trees, just when water and fungus started to break down the organic material. Stringy wood you could crush in your finger. Mushrooms, life, the scent of growth with that chalky, pasty texture on the tongue. Chanterelles, gold and orange, glowy like the sunrise, with their hint of apricot in the scent, a touch of fruit, sweet and sour and tart." I re-read that and I can still smell and taste it. I have the texture in my mouth. I have the rain petrichor and the sunshine of the chanterelles on my tongue. Writing is wild! (or maybe it's the synesthesia that's wild hahaha)

[monotonous-minutia]

how’s the book coming along

it's....coming. I'm almost done with a complete draft. It's taking longer than I thought but I've also had a lot of other things going on and less time to write than I'd like, so I'm hoping my upcoming Solo Writer's Retreat four-day weekend in about a month will help me catch up.

doesn't help that I keep coming up with plot twists that then require back-tracking and writing/re-writing entire new scenes in the middle. I'm kind of writing it backwards, to be honest.

I do know how it will end--figuring out the ending was what allowed this to be the story I could work on--but I have yet to write the complete ending. I'm getting close to the climax currently. It's like 300 pages right now so it better almost be done, lol.

random fun fact? in the very first draft of this written about two years ago the two main characters met on page 3. In this draft they meet on page 68. that tells you a little bit about how things have been going...

there are SO many more characters in it now than when it got started. As I write I keep thinking "it would be better if there was another person here..." or "I really need a foil for this character there..." Coming up with names is fun too. Sometimes I make them up with letter combinations that fit the character (thank you synesthesia), sometimes I use names I'm fond of, sometimes I use random name generators, and sometimes I steal names from operas XD

all in all it's going pretty good. It's fun. Although there were many times I wanted to throw my laptop across the room, and I'm sure there will be more. at least two, maybe three, times, I was all "THAT'S IT I'M QUITTING" and refused to look at it or think about it for days on end. sometimes it makes me cry. sometimes I hate it. it's possibly the most intense (fiction) writing experience I've had since I was 15 and thought the world was ending.

but I keep coming back to it. And that's good.