#i have so many posts that are just dumb or irrelevant to me rn there its embarrasing

[delicateimage]

the way my queue is like 200 posts logged up and continues to fil up...

[queersturbate]

"o&o are the dumbest motherfuckers too" why?? what did they say? spill the tea

hello anon! i sound bitchy in this but it's just because im ranting i dont want you to think im being bitchy towards you!

disclaimer everyone <3 dont try to debate me

i do not know to which post you are referring to but i have no doubt i said this because they are the dumbest people. Did they make one of my favorite pieces of media of all time? yeah. Did they write beautiful complex characters? yeah. Am I jealous of the artstyle and wish so bad for it to be mine? yeah. Did they write a incredibly interesting and intense story with so many little details and plots that I'm still talking about it 15 years later? yeah.

But they are dumb. Now, again, idk what post you're referring to so idk what i'm calling them dumb about. But one, they're homophobic. they've made several homophobic remarks (which i don't have specific evidence of rn so i wont say anymore about that) and even had a bunch of homophobic elements in the death note draft, one that I can think of off the top of my head is the one where aizawa tells them to stop being gay and obsessing over misa or something. I have a screenshot lemme find it.

love it. I've had this screenshot for a long time, so i forgot where I found it. Anyway, they're also misogynistic. The evidence is how the women in the show were treated.

But if we disregard all that, there are so many annoying IMPORTANT plot holes (I can excuse misogyny and homophobia but i draw the line at plot holes/ you can excuse misogyny and homophobia?) And im not one of those people that are like wow they said this [irrelevant detail] in episode 2 and now they said [different irrelevant detail] in episode 30, this show sucks. No. I mean when Light and L were literally chained together and L told him he wouldn't let him out of his sight (which btw people need to stop whining and crying over lol Light literally had 0 issues with it. the only people not accepting of it were soichiro and misa- Light literally was like alright sure...anyway-)

there's just things that they didnt need to necessarily show, i understand. Like bathing, pissing, private stuff. A thing like this wouldn't show us that type of scene unless it was relevant. I could argue that it was relevant though lol. So it was left up to the viewer to guess what happened with those scenarios. Because must i remind you, L and Light were chained together for around 3 months. These scenarios had to have happened. and with the emphasis on L not wanting Light to leave his side I, and everyone else, assumed that L wouldn't just unlock the cuff and be like pee break! So what happened during those scenarios? Well, people, including me when I was 12, were like "Ahh gay things happened during those scenes" which is just what happens. If you have a public fictional world, people are going to ship the characters. Lawlight was one of the most popular ships. Ik young and new fans of dn dont know that but it was up there in popularity. Not even in anime circles. Just popular all around.

But o&o heard of this and they decided it was their right to disprove every gay scenario people were coming up with. Which is why you see L in the washing machine drawing. Because how can they shower together if L takes baths in a washing machine huh? checkmate you can't make my character gay! even though it's physically impossible and even if it wasn't, Light, again, would be out of his sight because he'd be in a fucking washing machine. Anyway, they also come up with the solution to using the restroom together, which is just L sits weird. Which honestly isnt bad like it's kind of funny and i get that. But when I known it's just a retaliation against people shipping them it's annoying. (how can peeing being sexy if he pees like this? like peeing together is ever sexy ??:&:!/@!::&) and then the sleeping together bit! o&o had a perfect plan for this...which is L does in fact sleep. But he and his chair fall sideways and that's how he sleeps. and he needs watari to come pick him up. it's just annoying. you can't not show these scenes and basically leave it up for interpretation and then when people are using it gayly you retaliate with childish workarounds.

not to mention the little comics in the back of how to read 13 when they made them so impossibly straight it's hard to read. Like it's embarrassing to read. okay...okay... i didnt know i had this much to say about o&o. i'll be done now.

[fidgeting]

thoughts on my own relationship to fanfic writing, b/c there was some talk about it on the tl (plus many many posts in recent weeks/months):

i went through a period a few years ago when i was trying to convince myself that what was necessary to pursue my original writing “seriously” was to quit fandom and stop writing fic, etc etc, because i was conceptualizing it like a sinkhole for my attention or writing energy. taking that step back was useful for me in some senses, mostly in terms of gaining perspective wrt stupid and stressful fandom infighting and making me reassess what i actually wanted to get out of being involved in online fan communities, but it was quite lonely--for better or for worse, i grew up a terminally online rural queer teenager in an evangelical christian mileu, and online fan culture was really formative to the person i grew into as an adult. it’s a type of social interaction that isn’t easily replaceable, even as i have a very different irl environment now.

so, in practice, what “backing off of fandom in the name of my Art” led to was a fallow period in my writing life. think i was so fixated on the dichotomy between my fic writing as something inherently silly that i needed to grow out of and that had no bearing on the “real” writing i wanted to make, which was going to Say Something About The World, that it became really hard to actually do that “real” writing because it felt joyless and bogged down in expectation vis a vis quality and Seriousness. what ended up getting me back into writing after a year or so of not producing much of anything worth talking about was rediscovering a sense of joy about writing through getting back into fanfic, because it was something that i could do as part of a community that felt playful--i wasn’t overthinking things to death or berating myself for how my work was out of step with what publishers want to see, etc, because it was irrelevant. the only point was to make something for myself--which you can do with original writing, of course, but i needed that encouragement and sense of group interest that comes from sharing work to a limited-but-enthusiastic ready-made audience, which is one of the things fanfic has going for it.

it’s been a few years since then and my relationship to writing in general has changed A Lot, but losing my sense of shame about fic writing being a hobby that i enjoy for its own sake did a lot of good for my relationship to my writing in general. taking on self-indulgent projects that exist outside of publishing marketability has done a lot for helping me get a sense of what kinds of narratives and unexplored corners of existing works i’m drawn to, in a way that i can then take and apply to my original writing. that could definitely have happened even if i never came back to writing fic, but i think would’ve been slower. i’ve stopped writing original work with the mentality of trying to appeal to a nonexistent subset of the publishing market, and instead been following desire lines to figure out what i, personally, want to be reading that doesn’t yet exist, rather than trying to figure out how to pivot my own personal history into thinly-veiled autobiographical queer memoir that could get some minor success as a cancon title or whatever. is writing novels without consideration for what editors want to see in slushpiles a good decision? probably not, but i’m actually, like, writing them now instead of just feeling guilty for not writing them, which is better than nothing. and i do find writing fanfic really fun and joyful, and cultivating a joyful approach to fic writing--as something done purely for pleasure with no expectation of material gain or name recognition etc--really helped me figure out how to translate that mentality to my original work.

so anyway. corny careerist acafans who claim that fanfic is inherently radical and artistically valuable are embarrassing, but i’ve also stopped giving a shit about the opinions of people who think it’s cringe to write fanfic as a 25 year old or whatever, largely because it’s truly just a hobby i do for fun and i don’t think i owe anyone an apology for that. that being said, i think it does enrich my relationship to my original work, which it should be noted is also just a hobby, as i have no desire to be a writer full-time (though i would like to pursue publication at some point.) at the same time, i can’t subsist on a diet of fic alone--i’ve read a lot of fic in my time that’s stuck with me and impacted me artistically/emotionally, but i have a hard time maintaining my interest in writing in general unless i’m consuming other types of fiction and poetry as much if not more than i am ~transformative work~, and i always experience the cringe emotion when people who feel insecure about their writing/reading patterns respond to that feeling with wild takes about the lack of value of genres of published fiction they patently don’t read. kids can we lighten up a little...

tl;dr i think writing stuff for fun in the context of an online fan community can be an end goal itself if you are indeed having fun with it and there isn’t anything inherently embarrassing about it; personally speaking my orig work and fic work have interacted in generative ways but are also just different activities that serve different purposes for me; the two positions of “fanfic is actually the most amazing real and true form of art because it’s METATEXTUAL and QUEER and POPULIST etc etc unlike stupid ‘BOOKS’” and “no one has ever written fanfic for any reason than to jack off about cartoon characters” are both dumb asf and it really is not that serious

that being said i do also just like to read and write weird p*rn in an environment where writing and consuming weird gay p*rn is socially normalized. i’m only HUMAN

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

Do you have any headcanons for any asian characters in hetalia?

Thanks for the ask anon!

The Asians (as a group and individually) have my heart so you can expect a lot of headcanons for them. I’ve posted a list of China headcanons here (scroll down and you’ll find them eventually), but I’ll probably put new ones in this ask too. Anyway:

- All the Asians love to take food pictures! I know this is a “fashionable thing” to do all over the world nowadays, but I feel like the Asian countries are like the epitome of food pictures. Taiwan, HK, Japan, South Korea, and maybe Macau would do this the most. They’d probably run a joint social media account just for food pictures (as well as food selfies, since they’re all super photogenic). I also think they might compete with each other to take the best pictures, and have people vote on whose is the best?? 

Also just imagine China cooking the food for them and then all the young’uns crowding around the plate taking pictures for a long time, after 5 minutes they hear China yell “Hey! The food’s going to get cold if you don’t start EATING!” *mutters “Sheesh, they’re too phone addicted”*

- A lot of people headcanon Yao/China as the boomer of the Asians (and in general), and make him like an old man not knowing how to use a phone and everything. But… literally, real China has so much social media and internet stuff, like they’ve literally almost phased out using cash because everyone just pays for stuff using WeChat on their phones… like literally, this stuff is way ahead of America’s cash rn, so I think China would be able to absorb his people’s phone/internet prowess and not be so “boomer-y” like everyone thinks?? I have to admit that the boomer China situation would be pretty funny but I just don’t think it’s very realistic?

- Ok this part is just a rant about South Korea. WHy in the worLd does he need to be all perverted???? Like why is he so obsessed with people’s body parts/breasts???? Like what, why can you not make him a normal person who is a tech savvy enthusiastic photogenic Asian who is definitely a nerdy jock (if those exist) instead of some random groper??? Ok anyway, I’ve got no idea what’s up with canon SK but I think he’d be like the Denmark in the asians? Very excitable, friendly, and overall gives off cool vibes. Also I think he just pretends to be dumb sometimes to make people laugh, but can read the mood pretty well even if people don’t think he can. He’s also pretty smart and good with technology, and can strike up conversations with a lot of people really quickly (this also leads to him getting a lot of connections if it’s in a Human AU) Overall, I think modern day SK’s got his heart in the right place, he just might mess up a few times.

- Ancient Times: the Asians in history are kinda complicated, because a) HK, Taiwan, and Macau are pretty much irrelevant right now, b) I am clueless about Southeast Asian history so idk what Thailand and Vietnam are doing at that time, and c) China, Japan, and Korea weren’t exactly friends all the time (and they weren’t really friends from WWI to the Korean War). Also to complicate stuff, Korea had three kingdoms: Goguryeo, Baekje, and Silla; Silla apparently took over the other two later (with the help of the Chinese Tang dynasty) and became Unified Korea, and then the Korean War happened and it split again. So, idk what’s up with them (canon makes it more complicated because China took in Japan, I assume he would’ve taken Korea or the 3 kingdoms in as well because there’s a lot of shared history/trade/alliances between those three). There’s a lot of backstabbing and wars and stuff, some between China and Japan, some between China and Korea vs Japan, some between Korea and Japan, etc. If the countries were physically kids, I guess you could reason it out that they were just small bastards who were really rowdy and liked to fight, but I think that at least China would have been in his late teens/early 20s, and he took in Japan before most of the wars, so maybe that’s just Japan being a rebellious kid? Idk man East Asian history is complicated

- I think the young’uns are all fans of something (I think Japan and HK and maybe Taiwan are anime/manga fans, and SK likes his kpop idols) and they always get China to come along with them resignedly, to a convention or concert or whatever. But let’s be real, he hates on the others’ stuff but watches his own tv dramas just fine (although he hates the characters’ decisions a lot and rants a lot too)

- They get so competitive during sports! Especially at big things like the Olympics, or any international ____ competition (like swimming or something with lots of events). I think everybody would roast China for always failing soccer at FIFA (mens or womens) even if they themselves didn’t get in (usually Japan and Korea qualify, and they might even make it to like round of 8 or something). Other events, they’d just root for their own team and possibly make bets as to who’s going to win.

- I don’t know why China doesn’t have glasses in his design because literally so many people are nearsighted!!! (me included hhh) but idk I guess an explanation is he used to wear them and then was teased by his kids for being an old grandpa so he got contacts instead or something

- And because of genetics or something I think HK and Taiwan would also have nearsightedness but (I think in Taiwan at least) the trend is to get laser eye surgery, so I think both of them would’ve gotten it so they could keep looking cOoL (or something)

- All of them like TEA of some kind. Japan and China prefer to stick with the normal tea (brewed with tea leaves and stuff) but Taiwan loves bubble tea, and HK and Korea prefer iced tea more? But I think they’d all be able to switch between different types and not complain (except China, the old man)

- If China forgot he had a meeting scheduled and on that day, he invited all the others to his house, I think he’d begrudgingly put Japan in charge and leave, but I think Japan would let the others do whatever they want (he lowkey loves pranking China) and by the time China is back the house would either be wrecked or they’d went through all his stuff and now have a hoard of private things to ask him. China would throw them all out and then somehow find a way to get back at Japan

- I read a headcanon somewhere that they all think their own cooking is the best, and that would be very funny to write, but I think at dinners and stuff they’d all bring their favorite dish and just share, because nostalgia, sometimes they just feel like eating stuff that reminds them of their past or when they were at ____’s house (eg. Japan and Korea with Chinese food, Taiwan with Japanese food, etc.)

- Lots of family arguing and mutual pranks

- Lots and lots of low and high key roasts and lots of sarcasm (especially from the older ones). 

Taiwan: “How do you think this dress looks?” 

China: “Like you took fashion advice as bad as England’s cooking”

Japan: “I hate to say this, but China is 100% on point.”

Taiwan: D:

- Disapproval of clothing! China arguing at his kids that their clothes are too unconservative or show too much skin or something, and his kids arguing back that he dresses like he blindly picked out clothes without opening his eyes

OK yeah that’s it thanks for listening if you made it down here! I was originally intending to include Thailand and Macau and Vietnam but then realized I have next to nothing for them so… I’m sorry if you wanted some about them! Take my humblest apologies. Anyway, you probably noticed the Asians have my heart and definitely ask for more if you want! I’d never deny the chance to think about what dumb stuff they’d do lol

[tfw-no-tennis]

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 

KILLUA ;_; 

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS: 

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 

as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

[mieczyhale]

your tagssssss on that one post T_T what if luther tried to 'it made you stronger' to klaus and he was like u right i guess i deserved everything, and someone has to tell him no you didn't, no one deserves xyz. turns out luther didn't even KNOW about some of those things. also ia with your headcanon for dave. and i think he recognized the same in klaus right away and knew he had to be gentle with him

yeah yeah!! that would be another reason luther would pull the ‘it made you stronger’ card on klaus - bc he literally has NO idea what exactly life has been like for klaus. luther thinks klaus’s childhood was like his - the same way he kinda thinks everyone’s was: better, as he was the favorite - he always thought klaus was lazy, that he refused to use his powers and acted out for attention and just to be difficult. he thought the drugs and alcohol were for those same reasons - all of his perceptions being 100% swayed and formed by reggie of course. he’d support any negative thoughts on his biggest disappointment and luther grew up as number one - which he took v seriously. he took their whole shtick seriously. so someone, like klaus, not doing the same - would be frustrating and irritating and it would make it easy for him to believe his brother is at fault / being dramatic. and then for his opinions being formed as a child?? just all of that together i dont think it would’ve ever occurred to luther to really THINK about it or figure out the truth tbh. and that’s just shit IN THE HOUSE. and not counting literally everything about klaus’s powers okay, do not even get me started on how nobody understands shit there. so there’s no way he’d have any idea what life was like for klaus after he left the academy up until the funeral. and being stuck in the mansion, quickly finding himself alone, not really having access to the outside world.. luther isnt stupid! no! BUT he does have this innocence / naivety that would prevent him from considering the implications of what 13 years on the street would be like for klaus - how it would affect him. so no matter what the context is for how luther is pulling that card - be it their childhoods or post-academy or a combination of it all - just.. their whole lives: he wouldnt see how FUCKED what he’s saying is yknow?? SO ANYWAY. so he pulls that card and klaus has to face his brother and hear that he deserved EVERYTHING and that it was good that it all happened!! because he’s a better person for it right?? and yknow when you’ve been thru a lot of fucking shit hearing that ONCE is bad enough but klaus has probably heard some variation of that a lot in his life so now he’s just like “you know what? you’re right.” and maybe he’s just resigned about it?? but i prefer the idea that he just.. fucking snAPS. and is like “i did huh?? i deserved ____??” and luther learns the TRUTH of klaus’s childhood and training and the drugs and ghosts and what happened post-academy (which that 13 years you can really fill with whatever trauma you want. everyone has their own hcs including i) and then idk what happens after that - im not a fic writer for a reason lmfao - but it would be irrelevant anyway. POINT IS. luther says something dumb and gets his whole life and world view kicked in the goddamn ass ((and maybe its not just luther!!  im always a slut for as many siblings as possible being in on dramatic and angst conversations like this. the more the merrier really)) THAT WAS JUST A REALLY LONG WAY OF SAYING I AGREE LMAO and someone would DEFINITELY have to get klaus to believe he didnt deserve the trauma afterwards - bc even if klaus had gotten to a place where he was starting to think positively about himself every once in awhile, i feel like that conversation with luther or whoever would ABSOLUTELY undo that. and i, of course, nominate dave (and maybe ben) to be the ones to step in and get klaus to see that he has ALWAYS deserved better than the hand he was dealt. (im also a fan of diego stepping in on this.. and five.. what im saying is i stan brothers supporting brothers, guys showing love and support babey)AND THANK YOU FOR AGREEING WITH MY DAVE HC“i think he recognized the same in klaus right away and knew he had to be gentle with him” I COULD KISS YOU RN, ANON S2Gi mean okay listen.. i love me a dave katz that’s kind and gentle just because that’s the way he is, it’s not for any reason - he’s just a soft soul and so he treats klaus carefully. but i ALSO love me a dave katz that’s kind and gentle because he has experienced people who were not. like that one quote about ‘i am kind to others because people have not been kind to me’ or whatever like.. give me a dave katz that is soft to klaus because he sees the same hurt in klaus that he has in himself. he sees it, understands, and so he treats klaus the way he wishes someone would have treated him. it’s still fucking genuine either way i mean Klave Are Soulmates 2kAlways. and im ngl i do think baby!dave was a gentle boy, i dont think he’s ever been mean to anyone ever a day in his life, but i think things tried to change that gentleness and so he had to hide it but then he met klaus and he didnt have to anymore - he could just be his best most loving self to someone who deserved all of the love and sunshine in the world and- ;sdf;sflkslsd im sorry i feel like im not even on the right topic anymore?? was i ever??? and this isnt even doing my feelings justice but i keep getting distracted so im gonna stop now before i really yeet this post off the rails thank you for talking with me about this tho!!!!!!!

[daesungindistress]

Hi, Not a Seungri defender as such, but I've also not "cancelled" him yet. I've personally been following the investigation and evidence closely (like to the point of checking Korean sources). I don't know if it what I say matters to you, but I wanted to reassure you that a lot of the VIPs who are OT5 rn, aren't supporting blindly (although there's a few). In my research, I've found most accusations are unbacked media claims. However, if solid evidence should show. I'd change my opinion on it.

*to clarify what I mean by evidence. A lot of the accusations media claim Ri has done or is being investigated for are false. The assumption he was in the MOLKA has so far been disproven. The prostitution claims don’t meet up with other evidence (women out right deny it) And the two burning sun videos, both the woman dragged out and the woman supposedly drugged, have both stated these are but true. I’m not one to believe things blindly but all he women involved have denied all accusation (rn).

I understand that you want to wait for stronger evidence that might convince you to “cancel” him altogether, and that’s fine, but this far into the investigation much of the fandom has seen enough to decide that Seungri’s role in Big Bang has come to an end. The way I look at it, that is the spirit behind OT4 vs OT5. It doesn’t have to be about hating Seungri specifically, it’s more about Big Bang’s longevity… and at this time it’s tough to envision a Big Bang that can live on with Seungri in it. On that subject, I have to stop there because I’m currently in the process of writing another post about this, and I don’t want to use up all my thoughts on it here… or have to resort to repeating myself there.

As for the rest, I agree that Seungri probably isn’t guilty of everything he’s been accused of. But it’s likely he’s guilty of some things. Some of which may never be proven in court because, remember, he told his friends to change phones before turning them in to the police – which they did. It’s recently been reported that Seungri himself submitted a new phone too. He’s currently being investigated for that, this destruction of evidence, so we’ll see if it goes anywhere. By the way, this info was gathered by police during questioning of Seungri’s friends (CJH, JJY, etc).

This is an extremely important point to me. Because if he did tell his friends to ditch their old phones, and took the same measures himself, then that’s practically an admission of guilt, albeit an indirect one. Guilt for what, you ask? We may never know. He made sure we wouldn’t. He pledged to cooperate sincerely with the investigation, but… that doesn’t sound like cooperating sincerely to me. It’s exceedingly weird to me that people aren’t talking about this more.

As for the prostitution claims, yes, some women interviewed have denied. I mean… of course they’re going to deny it, prostitution is illegal in South Korea and confessing would land them in trouble. And yet, it is also possible that they’re being truthful and they are not, in fact, prostitutes. I’m willing to believe that. Keep in mind, however, that there have been multiple chats released that appear to be alluding to prostitution mediation / acting as a liaison in various locations, and the investigation is still ongoing. Police have said recently that they believe they’ve obtained some credible testimony and feel they’re making progress on those allegations, so again, yes or no, we’ll just have to wait and see. Seungri claims that many of those chats are being taken out of context. For some of them, I can accept that. For others… that rosy tint is fading fast.

The Burning Sun video of the woman being dragged is irrelevant, I think. Just a misunderstanding. Last I heard, that video showed her being forcibly removed from the club for causing a disturbance; the woman herself wrote the club a letter of apology and paid for damages. It is true, however, that women have been assaulted and secretly filmed inside the club Burning Sun; not sure about CCTV footage, but police caught two employees who were doing it, using a VIP bathroom and filming it on their phones. IIRC at least one of them is in custody. And many more women are speaking out now – specifically, about how they tried to report problems related to the club but were ignored or silenced by the local police (Gangnam district). It’s quite clear at this point that Burning Sun itself was a hotbed of illegal activity. Many arrests have been made on charges of drug use, and a few for drug distribution.

I’m not actually very interested in discussing Seungri’s role in Burning Sun, as I’m not convinced yet that he had much to do with the seedy goings-on there. Even the prostitution stuff I’m still pretty ‘meh’ about for reasons I don’t feel like going into right now. Gambling = whatever, his drug tests were clean, embezzlement… yeah that’s not great, he’ll probably just pay a fine. Tax evasion, again, sucks, probably another fine. Police collusion… jury’s still out on that one, but it definitely doesn’t reflect well on him, that he’s being questioned about it at all. Remember his comment: “Korean law is shit, that’s why I love it.” Dude. Dumb thing to say when you’re a highly-regarded celebrity who people look up and admire. And now it’s out there for the whole world to see.

Whew. And we haven’t even touched on the main source of fans’ outrage: m o l k a

It’s true that Seungri wasn’t in the majority of JJY’s molka chats and was instead in a chat reserved mostly for business. However, he was sent at least one molka video, and he did see it, because he responded to it. I’m not too fussed by his reply (”Who’s that? Oh, Oo-hyung lol”)… it comes off as more dismissive to me than anything – uninterested, mostly. Unfortunately for him, many are interpreting it as amusement. At the very least, he was aware of JJY’s molka/spycam fetish, because in his Chosun Ilbo interview he said, “Of course I tried to stop him. When I met him in person I tried to stop him and said, ‘Don’t do stuff like that, you’ll get in really big trouble.’” There’s no question anymore whether he did or did not know about his friend’s dirty habits / crimes against women. The most concerning thing, to me, is that he didn’t seem to care enough to cut ties with him because of it. If he had made a visible effort to distance himself, I think people might be more forgiving.

Also strange is his total failure to mention the women affected in any of his apologies. He’s taken the time to apologize to his former agency YG, his bandmates (seen translated as “teammates”), his fans, the Korean public, and even Mr. Kim following his assault by police at Burning Sun… but never once the women. Why? What does that say about him? I’m not sure, but I don’t think I like it.

In the end, here’s what it all boils down to, for me: whatever the extent of his involvement, it’s pretty obvious at this point that he’s not some innocent lamb being led to slaughter. Seungri let this relationship drag on for years and stuck with it, this shady bunch. This wasn’t just a one-time thing, a simple mistake anyone might make. Worse, he was warned by his hyungs many times – on camera, even, in front of fans, in front of TV audiences. They begged him not to mess up while they were away and Big Bang was dependent on him. They trusted him with the name BIGBANG. Will they, or anyone else for that matter, be willing to trust him with it again?

I hate to say it, but it looks like Seungri chose these people over Big Bang. He chose Jung Joonyoung, Choi Jonghoon, Yoo Insuk, and others over Kwon Jiyong, Choi Seunghyun, Dong Youngbae, and Kang Daesung. Forget the warnings, OT4 teased, complained, and scolded him often enough about not spending time with them outside of band-related activities. Well, I guess now we know why. He had other friends, other loyalties, other priorities. Even as recently as late February of this year, when the first KKT chats were dropped (the Arena prostitution chat), Seungri’s first concern was contacting his friends to make sure they’d be safe in the event of a “mandatory police investigation”. I don’t think he’s this horrible person that so many are making him out to be, no, but this is not behavior befitting a member of a world-renowned boyband with a tremendous following of adoring female fans. It’s a coveted position of great power and great responsibility – to his fans, to his bandmates, to himself. But with his burgeoning interest in business, I guess Seungri felt he had better, more important things and people to attend to.

And then on March 11, 2019, he saw the writing on the wall and left Big Bang.

I’m sad to lose him. But I think, in a way, we lost him a long time ago. We just didn’t know it yet.

[velvet-tread]

I don’t want to be a dick, but I’m about to be.

Not in this post. Not right now because I’m being sensible, or at least attempting to give the impression of it.

But generally I’m a tinder box of fandom shade and shipping invective. Four months + into this Ice and Sky cruise, I’m trying very very hard not to respond to each and every Bellarke-motivated put-down of Becho with snarky put-downs of my own and gifs of my faves naked together.

I imagine that if I eventually blow, I’ll talk very fiercely about healthy relationships. I’ll use the word “toxic” a lot. I’ll probably swear more than normal. I may tag things anti-BC but more than likely I’ll forget.

But Rach we don’t care, I hear you say. You’re one person and I don’t follow you anyway, and nobody has ever given a shit about what you think or say.  Who even are you? It’s not like you’re ************* or ****** or even *******!!

All of which is true and fair! But here’s the thing.  I’m not alone.

The Becho fandom is tiny compared to the Bellarke fandom, but it’s growing, it has people in it who don’t care about Bellarke, it’s overrun with anti-BE crap and it is getting salty af.

Hot tip #1: if you tag something “anti becho” with a space it ends up in the Becho tag.

Is the Bellarke fandom really itching for another ship war? Because *noises* why? Because you came off so well last time?

Do you remember how it felt when the CLs shat all over a thing you loved? And you shat all over their ship in return?  Do you remember all the meta about how awful your ship is, how racist and abusive and colonialist? Do you remember how it brought all the loudest voices in both fandoms to the forefront, and everyone else got trampled in the stampede? Do you remember how it gave voice to the racists and the homophobes? All the wholesale misogyny? No room for squee and enjoyment?  Everyone treading on eggshells, people afraid to speak, people driven away? The lasting legacy of misery and resentment that found its way to the show itself and may have actually sunk your ship in canon for good?

So why is my (heavily curated) dash AND THE BECHO TAG full Bellarkers being sanctimonious, rude or really fucking mean about my ship and the people who ship it, no matter how many people I unfollow or block?

Despite my major concerns about Bellarke rn I still ship it (and yes, loving a thing sometimes means critiquing it) and would like to stay in the fandom if possible. But right now, it’s not particularly pleasant for me, or any Becho shipper who wants to be part of the 100 fandom at large, let alone the Bellarke fandom as a multishipper.

And even if the Becho fandom doesn’t grow that much, as soon as the tinderbox flares you can bet sure as hell that the army of antis and trolls that still haunt the 100 fandom will be more than happy to pick up the pitchfork on behalf of genuine Becho shippers and start slinging shit. 

At you. And the thing you love.

So ask yourself. Is it really necessary?  Are you really so insecure about your ship that you have to put me down and a thing that I love? And not even, like, critiquing it? Just tirades and tirades of meta and memes about how dumb and awful it is, or just how irrelevant and insignificant it is and how stupid or terrible people are for failing to see that. 

And that’s before I get into the batshit reaching and HOLY CRAP I JUST REMEMBERED THE PERSON WHO CLAIMED THAT ECHO WAS A SLAVER AND IMMA NEED A MINUTE TO RE-FORGET.

Hot tip #2: there is a HUGE difference between critiquing a ship from a perspective of “This didn’t work for me because [criticism or feelings]” with a bonus follow up of “here’s how it might have worked for me”; and “This is [insert derogatory term] compared to my ship because [feelings]”.

And yes, that includes you, Bellarke fandom meta writers, most of whom are older and should know better.

Hot tip #3: if you’re crapping all over something with the aim of shoring up your ship’s “positivity” you’re not being very positive. That’s just ship wank and it’s probably better if you just own that.

Anyway.  I’m not going to be a dick. I’m not going to be a dick.

I’m not going to be a dick.

[enemyoftrust]

1-100 ily :-)

Is a kiss considered cheating?

mmm depends

Have you ever faked orgasm?

nah

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

super strength for sure

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

no

Tell us some funny drunk story.

no being drunk isnt funny shit

Why are you no longer together with your ex?

cos she dumped me???

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?

death by women

What are your current goals?

feel like im alive LOL

Do you like someone?

u

Who was the last person to disappoint you?

me

Do you like your body?

haha no

Can you keep a diet?

no

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

if u dont eat pussy ur a coward

Do you work?

no but i want to

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

tacos

Would you get a tattoo?

maybe

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

you 

Can you drive?

yeah but not well according to you

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

i dont know to be honest

What was the last thing you cried for?

my lack of feelings

Do you keep a journal?

no

Is life fun?

idk

Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

its whatever my dude u gotta be quiet about it

What’s your dream car?

green mazda miata

Are grades in school important?

sure

Describe your crush.

tall, green eyes, looks like an angel, smile that lights up a room, beautiful voice

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

i dont know

What was your last lie?

i lie constantly im not sure

Dumbest lie you ever told?

i told like 4 people in the eighth grade that i had internal bleeding in my lungs

Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

it can be i cried every day in school for like a week my senior year

Something you did and you are proud of?

my gpa rn

What’s your favourite cocktail?

idfk

Something you are good at?

making you feel better

Do you like small kids?

sometimes

How are you feeling right now?

nonexistant

What would you name your daughter/son?

florence 

What do you need to be happy?

i don’t know i’ve never been happy

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

myself?

What was the last gift you received?

the stuff u gave me for our 1 year anniversary.

What was the last gift you gave?

a speaker for mom for m day

What was the last concert you went to?

julien baker

Favourite place to shop at?

i dont know

Who inspires you?

you, lynn gunn

How old were you when you first got drunk?

like 18

How old were you when you first got high?

n/a

How old were you when you first had sex?

define sex :))) first orgasm by someone else probably 16, first like full gay sex 19

When was your first kiss?

7th grade

Something you want to do until the end of this year?

love u 

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

i regret so many things

Post a selfie.

maybe

Who are you most comfortable around?

you

Name one thing that terrifies you.

getting old

What kind of books do you read?

i don’t

What would you tell your 12 year old self?

stop dating boys Now

What is your favourite flower?

carnations

Any bad habits you have?

nail biting

What kind of people are you attracted to?

u hello

What was the last thing you cried for?

i answered this fuck off

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

celery is dumb

Are you in love?

yeah

Something you find romantic?

when you call me pretty :|

How long was your longest relationship?

a year and a half

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

theyre all tryna fight each other constantly like why cant we just love each other

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

toxic masculinity

What are you saving money for?

idk

How would you describe your bad side?

short tempered, violent, snappy, introverted, passive aggressive

Are you actually a good person? Why?

i think. i try to love everyone.

What are you living for?

i’m not sure.

Have you ever done anything illegal?

yep

Do you like your body?

noo

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

yeah i’m really spiteful

Ever sent nudes?

not like Real nudes

Have you ever cheated on someone?

mmmmm define cheating

Favourite candy?

100 grands

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

@butterccupp

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

i dont play computer games but if i did it’d be overwatch

Favourite TV series?

rwby

Are you religious? Does God exist?

yes yes

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

i don’t really remember.

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

its rad but i cant do it !

How long have you been on Tumblr?

too long

Do you like Chineese food?

yes

McDonalds or Subway?

mcdonalds

Vodka or whiskey?

either

Alcohol or drugs?

alcohol

Ever been out of your province/state/country?

yes

Meaning behind your blog name?

its a name u called me a couple times

What are you scared of?

i answered this

Last time you were insulted?

i dont know i dont talk to anybody

Most traumatic experience ?

my high school girlfriend stringing me along n cheating on me n then dumping me

Perfect date idea?

me and u havin a picnic in the fall

Favourite app on your phone?

discord because i scream at @snilloverwatch about nothing all day

What colour are the walls in your room?

baby blue

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

no

Share your favourite quote.

skate fast eat ass

What is the meaning of life?

idk just be kind

Do you like horror movies?

NO

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

yeah i told her i was gay like 5 times

Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

lucky, not special

Can you keep a secret?

sure

[wolfhourr]

100 questions

I was bored af and tried to do these questions.

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? ya.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Not one I could think of

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? probably flying

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? hopefullyyyyy

5. Tell us some funny drunk story. Oh my god I know so many but a bunch of friends and I were celebrating midsummer and we had this wooden cross which we’d decorate with branches and flowers and one of my friends (he’s got long wavy hair) stole my flower crown and carried that cross halfway home through half of the town we live in and it was like half past 1 in the morning and the people on the streets were shouting ‘oh my god it’s Jesus’ all the time and that was freaking hilarious

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? long distance isn’t cool

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? I don’t think of shit like this often but I’d like to have it quick and simple

8: What are your current goals? becoming a pro in photography (concerts mainly) and drone videography (basically shooting aerial footage for music videos and movies, that would be the most rad thing)

9. Do you like someone? I actually like a lot of people

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? ugh, there are a few people who do that frequently but mostly band members

11. Do you like your body? parts.

12. Can you keep a diet? Nope I’m pretty weak regarding food

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Stop fucking killing each other and try to love everyone regardless of their origin or religion or sexuality or views

14. Do you work? I study Scandinavian Studies but I’ll be working as an aupair in Finland starting in August 2017

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of you life, what would it be? This is the toughest freaking question anyone has ever asked

16. Would you get a tattoo? I actually have 5

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? concerts, cameras, things that make me genuinely happy

18. Can you drive? what? A car? A person insane? Like a fucking champ

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? my best friend aka Julienne that gorgeous shining bean

20. What was the last thing you cried for? my dad being my dad

21. Do you keep a journal? I have a scrapbook where I put random little things like receipts from vacations or stuff like that in and I also print out mini photos for it

22. Is life fun? What kind of question is this? Life’s an up and down

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? as long as they don’t hear it and you can smell it away

24. What’s your dream car? VW Golf R in metallic dark blue

25. Are grades in school important? As long as you don’t fail the class entirely or get kicked out of school it’s fine. Grades are so fucking overrated these days

26. Describe your crush. Ahahahaha he’s suuuuch a dork, especially whenever he’s drunk haha no but seriously he’s a dork and he get’s pretty touchy then

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? uhh, can’t rememberrrr

28. What was your last lie? I really don’t lie often but maybe I said I wasn’t feeling well just to avoid going out with some friends

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? I think there are a lot of dumb things I told so I can’t really think of one specifically right now

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? depends on the people but generally yes even though it shouldn’t be

31. Something you did and you are proud of? my photographs of band members

32. Favorite cocktail? Not tasted all of em but I love Mojitos

33. Something you are good at? sleeping, eating, taking photos, being dumb

34. Do you like small kids? depends on the kids

35. How are you feeling right now? stuffed with lunch and tired but generally fine because life’s good

36. What would you name your daughter/son? daughter: Ebba son: Heinz-Ewald!

37. What do you need to be happy? music, positive vibes and photography

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now? I’m a very non-violent person so nope.. maybe Trump tho

39. What was the last gift you received? my grandma bought me a new handbag yesterday and it’s fabulous

40. What was the last gift you gave? frozen flavoured water to my beloved Fachschaft

41. What was the last concert you went to? A Finnish band called ‘Wake The Nations’, I had the pleasure to take pics for them there hehe

42. Favorite place to shop at? C&A, H&M

43. Who inspires you? Sawyer Hartmann & Logan Henderson, actually a lot more human beings

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? I’m pretty good with alcohol so I have to drink a ton to get drunk and I’m a poor student so basically I was 20 (and I still am 20 lol)

45. How old were you when you first got high? never got there

46. How old were you when you first had sex? never got there either

47. When was your first kiss? 2013 lol

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? staying in Finland haha

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? A lot of embarrassing things honestly

50. Post a selfie there are photos of me on this blog come on

51. Who are you most comfortable around? my best friends of course!

52. Name one thing that terrifies you. insects

53. What kind of books do you read? none honestly

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? “Nick Jonas won’t marry you and never fall for boys, they won’t value your good heart”

55. What is your favorite flower? white roses

56. Any bad habits you have? I have many, can’t choose

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? ugh, I deffo don’t have a specific type of person, it really strongly depends on the person. It can be the metalhead in one of the other Fachschaften and it also can be the hot model or the mysterious musician whose head is in the clouds 99% of the time. As long as the person treats me right and isn’t suuuuuper weird it really can be anyone.

58. What was the last thing you cried for?  didn’t we have that question already

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgusts you? Yaaaaa. I hate mushrooms, any sort of fish, snails, insects, basically all that stuff that Germans don’t eat, and oh yeah we have that thing called blood sausage here which is the most awful thing ever

60. Are you in love? all the time

61. Something you find romantic? lying in the grass at night time staring into the sky and talking is something I wanna do with someone special

62. How long was your longest relationship? 6 months? long distance I mentioned that

63. What are three things that irritate you about the same sex? - why do girls bath their faces in tons of make up EVERY SINGLE DAY like I don’t even wear more than mascara EVER - why do girls have to be so disgusting when it comes to public toilets and stuff - arrogance

64. What are three things that irritate you about the opposite sex? - superior behavior - beards - can’t think of the third rn

65. What are you saving money for? for my further studies in October 2018

66. How would you describe your bad side? bad..? 

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I always try to be nice to people and approach them without any prejudice and I try to make people feel good in my presence

68. What are you living for? music and photography haha

69. Have you ever done anything illegal? I parked illegally a couple times lol

70. Do you like your body? check out question 11

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? I strongly hope I haven’t

72. Ever sent nudes? lmao nope

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? In my mindddddd lol

74. Favorite candy? Ferrero Rocher. I’d die for them.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day or almost every day? Tag it! nopeeee I’m sorry I’m lame

76. Do you play any computer games? What’s your favorite? I used to play Rollercoaster Tycoon and Sims 2-4 a loooooot

77. Favorite TV series? Riverdale!!!! And the old German series ‘Wege zum Glück’ which is such a soap opera but I’m a sucker for it still

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? There have been so many “coincidences” that make it hard to believe he isn’t existent. And also there’s so much positive stuff in my life right now, I think he led me where I am right now.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? I read a Swedish book from Henning Mankell about murders and it was cool

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? everyone is allowed to eat what they want, I don’t even careee

81. How long have you been on tumblr? since 2011/12, not sure

82. Do you like Chinese food? every now and then, yes.

83. McDonalds or Subway? Megges!

84. Vodka or whiskey? V!

85. Alcohol or drugs? only done alcohol so that’s it for me

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? of course!!!

87. Meaning behind your blog name? it’s my favorite song by the Swedish band called ‘DNKL’

88. What are you scared of? not finding someone to spend the rest of my life with

89. Last time you were insulted? I tend to suppress things like this

90. Most traumatic experience? being taken away from my grandparents regularly when I was young

91. Perfect date idea? it has to do with sunsets and the ocean

92. Favorite app on your phone? Instagrammmmm

93. What color are the walls in your room? white

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favorite youtuber? I love the vlogs from Lex&Los and I am obsessed with the videos of the Swabian comedian Dodokay.

95. Share your favorite quote. boy there are so many I can’t even come up with one right now

96. What is the meaning of life? finding that one passion and doing everything to live that passion every day

97. Do you like horror movies? N O P E

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? probably my birth has made her cry at some point

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? the way some bandmembers treat me is truly something special hehe yes

100. Can you keep a secret? for sure!

[swearronchanel]

Kicking off the hiatus with 5.04

A few people have requested that I continue my commentaries™ during the hiatus & after all the positive feedback, I couldn’t say no! But I expected to have an awful day & it actually went well so I thought I’d go ahead and do it now. You know since I’m going to avoid all my responsibilities anyway it might as well be for a good cause🙃

I watched a lot of shameless on Netflix today so it’s nice to watch something wholesome for a change of pace 😂

“The world was shifting on its axis in 1961, strides were being made, decisions taken, questions asked..” Vanessa’s narration is always on point like I wish I had the patience to post all her quotes 😭😂

Aw sister Mary Cynthia! I hope she’s in the Christmas special

My bby trixie looking flawless while riding a bike, goals

But who is this nun they’re having a service for lol ??

Like it’s kinda irrelevant oops,  r i p & dios te bendiga but why do we care? at least I don’t

Isn’t this girl from something? She looks so familiar

i remember saying this before .. oh yea she’s from game of thrones I think. I don’t watch it though haha

“Angel? I could get used to that!” Aw my bby is so cute like yes trix ur an angel

yikes that cough lady, I have a stuffy nose rn and I’m hoping I don’t start coughing 😭cause then I wanna be in a coma cause I hate being sick

Aw he'a so excited! He got into university👏🏼 that was legit me though 😂 I’m so irrational and literally only applied to one university (well I filled out many applications but didn’t submit any others because you gotta pay so I tried to wait and see if I got accepted to where I wanted first😂) I found out in English while on my phone instead of doing work & I screamed and just ran out the classroom 😂 I went to my guidance councilor and told everyone in the main office and then called my parents who *were nervous I wouldn’t get in* but also were literally going through security in the airport on their way to Dominican Republic .. ah, I was full of excitement and hope. Look at me now 3 semesters in &I’m over it 😂😂 it’s so stressful and mentally/emotionally draining and sometimes I’m just like how do I become a trophy wife asap?

BACK TO THE SHOW THOUGH

My bby SHELAGH! 😍 she is so precious in her suit aww, but lets be real the navy suit is the best™ one she owns. But I still like her best in uniform at the clinic though 💁🏼

she’s over here giving a talk on giving birth at home & Im just like holy shit SHE JUST HAD A BABY IN THEIR NEW HOME, I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT😭!!!!

Tom’s so excited for Ian it’s so cute and sweet

And Tom is so cute and attractive ugh, he could get it

oh damn wait Mrs Cottingham has the baby with no limbs

aw yea and she wanted a girl

I agree though little boys are gremlins 😂😂 from ages like 7-14, get them away from me 😂

Ian all hopeful for their future and then boom he’s a dad. That went from 0 to 💯 real quick

Phyllis!! & lol sister W giggling

But damn why they all acting like Sister J is too old and incapable 😂 she wants to go to St Cuthberts, let her

Sister Monica Joan upset aw😭 don’t worry sister you’re Help is needed

Pats and Deels look cute “tanning” outside

“You want to see Anita Ekberg in that fountain just as much as I do”  Lmaoo 😂😂 for real though have u ever seen La Dolce Vita? Like Anita Ekberg was too hot to handle. I wish I looked that good damn

Trixie came to thirdwheel even though she isn’t unaware she is lol

But Trixie is serving summer looks™ I love it 😍

Damn though Patsy’s legs are pretty pasty 😂😂

Trixie wondering what the hell kinda magic bra Anita had on, literally same cause I want it. Always need good quality strapless bras for summer👍🏻

Patsy inviting Trixie and Delia gave the side eye omg 😂

Here comes Babs lmao

LOL DEELS IS SALTY OMG

ugh this is when Babs first got with Tom and they were annoying lmao, I got over it though

If I was Trixie I’d be lowkey mad too like that was her ex-fiancé but I’m glad they got over it and are friends despite that 💕 cause I know petty girls that would just cut the other off

WHY DO THEY PRONOUNCED SCHEDULE LIKE THAT? And honestly How?? Like I can’t even lol it’s hard. Oops is my American showing

Sister J out here

Ohh yea this matron is a bitch lmao, vete ya

What is the correlation between going to grammar school and getting pregnant ?? @ Ian’s mom

Lol Trixie’s just like pls don’t ask me

ugh get this nurse/matron or what ever tf she is off my screen before I smack her

I swear Jenny Agutter has such a relaxing voice, like she really can calm you down & tell you all will be well & you’ll just be like “yea you right”😭

Tom is so rational and sensible because if I walked in I’d immediately start screaming and all that like “calm tf down people" 

Pats and Deels sneaking around in a convent lol it gives me anxiety always thinking “oh shit u think someone will walk in?”

LOL OKAY TOM YOU TELL YOURSELF TRIXIE IS MAD ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

Damn Tom you just made Babs feel like a rebound™

“Who’s to say we won’t carry on” ya will be fine & get married next year chill out

So Babs is only 23, how old are the other nurses *well how old do you think*??

WHEN WILL WE SEE A NONNATUN BIRTHDAY?? *I preferably want to see Trixie or Shelagh have one* but I’d take anyone really, like these people literally celebrate every other damn holiday/event but no one has had a birthday?? Except for Jenny and Chummy but they’re both gone lol

yikes emphysema, one of my grandfathers died from that. 70 odd years of tobacco smoking 😬 he did someone love to be 85 yrs old though. Idk how, he couldn’t breathe for so long

I love Phyllis just saying again for the millionth time

Aw Trix 💔 you will be happy soon💕😭

See! She said w/o Sister J she’d be screaming! Her presence is calming

Emergency c-section aye dios

Turn up at the pub

Lol funny how the dad gave Tom orange juice bc he’s a vicar but he was drunk af the night before his wedding 😂 drunk enough to have little memory and to be hungover the next day

we’ve all been there tho I don’t judge

Is it really CtM if there’s not at least one mention of babycham a series?

c-sections are wild omg

also I’ve never been under anesthesia so I’d be scared af

LOL & also I’ve never had a kid so that’s scary too duh

“Oh God another one” ahh omg

Do you think that was a doll ??

Again this show makes everything look real af so I never know

Is the doctor here the Mr Kenely that I hate??

They really left that baby there to die like o m g

Sister J praying/blessing the baby 💔💔 my freaking heart omg

again this nurse is on my screen and I need her to go, preferably to carajoland

“may the lord bless you and keep you”!! 💔😭

the third deformed baby and they didn’t report it??

“I’m not drunk” I mean you’re sitting on the floor in the bathroom so I’d think you were too 😂

Lol remember.. *cringes* no wait lets not

Tom worked in a record shop that’s cute

damn Tom do you really think telling them to just settle is the best way to comfort him

Aw sister J needs a hug😭😢💕

and yes prayer you’re right sister MJ

Sister MJ, Sister MC & Sister J comforting each other is so pure, all the they have scenes together wash my sins away for a second

wait where tf is sister Winifred lmao, did she just scadaddle after compline? snuck out to see a heathen movie i bet  jk jk I’m sure she only sneaks to quality films

but then I say dumb shit like that ^ or even worse/more inappropriate & the sins return😂😂

There’s my bby Shelagh! And in uniform, love it. 😭😍

Whenever Shelagh goes back to work next series I hope we see more of her being a nurse cause I love it

Wild that the hospital was just not saying anything about the deformed babies

Sister J coming to the best detective in Poplar, Dr Watson aka Shelagh Turner aka secret agent Shealgh Turnova™ 😂😂 *forever one of my fave lines of hers*

Lmao Tim helping out old ladies, being a good seed & too perfect of a teen

But damn boy comb your hair!

“I haven’t boiled any urine today, nice to have a change of pace” Lol Babs😂😂

oh no she’s bleeding 😢

I’m having flashbacks to Shelagh’s threatened miscarriage like lets not go down that painful memory lane  

Sister J told Ruby it was a girl bc she knew she wanted a girl ughhh 😢

Ruby thinks it was a punishment 💔 ugh my heart & ugh again makes me think of when Shelagh thought she was being punished/greedy when they told her she couldn’t have a baby 💔

Stop the sadness I say, stop it now

“We haven’t got a fairy godmother between us” WHERE IS PHYLLIS WHEN SHE IS NEEDED?

And Poor what’s her name 💔💔

oh yea it’s Linda omg how could I forget that’s my Gram’s name

But Shelagh and Trixie are interacting!!

It’s about a patient but at least they’re speaking right .. LMAO BUT WAIT ILL NEVER BE OVER HORMONAL SHELGH YELLING AT TRIXIE ABOUT THE FAMILY PLANING CLINIC ENTRANCE

ALSO: I’LL KEEP SAYING IT TILL I DIE, ALL I WANT IS A TRIXIE & SHELAGH FRIENDSHIP! 😭😭💕💖💖 they’re my bbys and I’ve been asking nicely

shit ¡¡ @beatrix-franklin wrote a damn essay as to why we need/want it !!

PLS LET IT HAPPEN @ HEIDI & OTHER WRITERS😭💔

Shelagh’s grey cardigan is actually cute *she just doesn’t need anymore lol*

“What the poor pet really needs is a good cry, a bottle of aspirin and a hug in no particular order..but the hug is of prime importance”  you see. We could’ve have a cute scene of Trixie visiting Shelagh in the hospital & a little parallel of when she visited her in the sanatorium

or Just give me Trixie hugging Shelagh and I’ll cry of joy 😭💕

omg wait

shit I forgot Ian put his head in the oven

Angela playing on the floor !! So precious 💖

“..Don’t think they’d thank you for that Patrick, they’re both younger than me”  Lol I always laugh at that, it’s kinda cute. I like when Shelagh has funny lines , why didn’t Patrick say anything back 😂 there could’ve been cute playful banter. Even this series we could’ve heard him call her an elderly primigravida is a joking/playful banter context ..BUT at least we know now Shelagh is 36!

Yea man those bombs impacted multiple generations

“So World War II is history now is it?” I seriously love these little lines of Shelagh’s lol. Also funny how she prob sees her self as old, and she was what, like my age, when the war needed?? 18 or 19 depending on her birthday (We’d know but nonnatuns apparently don’t ever have birthdays)

Shit. Wait..I feel. Kinda strange and scary to think my future children will learn in school the events I’ve lived through so far ??

okay lets not think about that

what’s the sluice? I know he washes instruments but what exactly is the sluice? The room ? Idk

Aw Angela crying, one of the the only times we’ve heard her make a sound lol

WAIT HE COULD BE SUED FOR BREAKING THE ENGAGEMENT WHAT??

“How long have we been broken off?” “A year. To be precise a year and ten days”  I know they weren’t really a good match but aw 😭 it was nice while it lasted

Trixie Bby 💔💔 happiness is coming your way I promise

“I never know when I love you the most. But I sometimes think these are the times I love you best..”😭😭 BYE IM DEAD AGAIN & MY HEART EXPLODED AGAIN😭💔💕💕

thinking about it though, they’ve never actually said I love you properly, have they??

See Patrick’s little med school anecdote, can Shelagh share one anytime soon? About anything from her past, I’m just curious.

Was that just a piece of “in the mirror” or is it playing in my head? Honestly it happens quite often, I’ll swear I hear a song and it’s actually in my head

alright Ian so why were you marrying her? you switching it up kid

I’m calling him kid like he’s not probably older than me lmao

Phyllis in her robe I love it

Trixie serving yet another look™😍

I’m so glad Trixie gave Babs her “blessing” & became good friends. So pure, we don’t need any more women being put against each other

“Fuzzy felt apostles” WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THAT? It’s not even funny?

Now the service for a nun we never knew, filled with extra nuns we will never know or care about.

I love that the nurses are at the service lol, like they probably don’t have to be but still there for fam

& Shelagh there wearin a mantilla, so sweet😭💕

“God hugs you” aw sister MC 😭❤️

You gotta admit even if you aren’t religious this show does make you feel some type of faith

“We knew so little then, in a world that seems so filled of opening doors and bright horizons. We thought only of what was new and better because it was new and better. And it would take us to places we had never been before.” VANESSA😭 she never fails with the narration, never.

Trixie helping Babs fix her bracelet bc there’s no hard feelings and she’s happy for them aw

“..We couldn’t see what was coming or understand yet what had already come to pass, yet so much still to learn”

Oh shit that foreshadow was heavy, especially because it ends with a shot of baby cottinghams body in the box.

I don’t think I picked up on that the first time ..                                     Anyway it’s 1:15am I should go to bed I have class in the morning 😭😂

The End.🙃

[y0ung-and-l0aded]

so ah... you home yet? :-P

LOL I’m sorry! But here we go, 1-100!

Is a kiss considered cheating? Imo, yes

Have you ever faked orgasm? Ye…

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? To be able to live completely normally and healthily with no sleep

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? LOL NAH

Tell us some funny drunk story. Lol ummm I don’t really think I have any funny ones. OH WAIT one time I was at a party and I called Meghan really drunk and I bitched out this one person real hard and she thought it was hilarious but then again that’s probably only funny for certain people… welp. All my other drunk stories are depressing LOL

Why are you no longer together with your ex? Which ex? For each one there are different reasons

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Anything that wasn’t painful and also involved my listening to really good music as I died

What are your current goals? To hit 500 then 1000 subs on YT, to get a new position at work, and honestly to just not have a life crippling mental breakdown

Do you like someone? Yes

Who was the last person to disappoint you? Lol nah

Do you like your body? No

Can you keep a diet? HAHA NO WAY

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I have no idea, that’s to philosophical and deep for me

Do you work? Yes

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh fuck seriously? Ummm probably steak lol

Would you get a tattoo? I mean I have 7 so yeah 

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? ALL my money? Well all my money basically goes to rent, gas, and food - so that stuff I guess

Can you drive? Yes

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? I don’t remember

What was the last thing you cried for? It was a person

Do you keep a journal? No

Is life fun? Sometimes actually

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? Depends on who haha, I’m that guy

What’s your dream car? A MAZDA BABY

Are grades in school important? Fuck no, unless you fail and can’t get your degree

Describe your crush. No thanks

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Omg omg omg Train to Busan. Check it out, it’s soooo fucking amazing

What was your last lie? That I was okay

Dumbest lie you ever told? I can’t remember. I’m sure I’ve told many dumb lies

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? Not really for me honestly

Something you did and you are proud of? Getting into the Crane school of music

What’s your favourite cocktail? DONT JUDGE ME but a screwdriver 

Something you are good at? Knowing really random knowledge about video games

Do you like small kids? YESSSS 

How are you feeling right now? Indifferent but a little sad

What would you name your daughter/son? Son: Price - Daughter: I have no idea tbh

What do you need to be happy? Someone who loves me as much as I love them, but I’ve been trying really hard lately to be happy on my own

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? No I would never punch someone

What was the last gift you received? I don’t remember, probably something around Christmas time

What was the last gift you gave? Tickets to an Imagine Dragons concert

What was the last concert you went to? twenty one pilots last summer

Favourite place to shop at? UGH so difficult. Target or Walmart or Aero lolol

Who inspires you? Stumpt

How old were you when you first got drunk? I was a junior in high school but I don’t remember the age

How old were you when you first got high? Same as above

How old were you when you first had sex? Tenth grade

When was your first kiss? Tenth grade

Something you want to do until the end of this year? By the end of this year? What? I don’t get this. But I’d like to get to 500 subs by the end of the year

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I normally would say no bc I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and all those things shaping who you are as a person. But yes there is one exception

Post a selfie. Ugh I’m too lazy for that sorry. Just find my Twitter or something lol

Who are you most comfortable around? I’m not really sure anymore

Name one thing that terrifies you. Being raped

What kind of books do you read? I don’t read much anymore, sadly

What would you tell your 12 year old self? That I was going to turn out trans lol

What is your favourite flower? I don’t have one

Any bad habits you have? Yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? People with a good sense of humour, friendly and inviting personality, and I usually notice people by their smiles

What was the last thing you cried for? I think this was asked?

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? I hate mint anything and I can’t do really spicy food

Are you in love? I’m not sure

Something you find romantic? I don’t have the energy for this question rn lol sorry

How long was your longest relationship? 2 and a half years

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Guys who say bro/lit/turnt, guys who use gay as an insult, and guys who think they’re cool bc they’re guys

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? Girls who say bro/lit/turnt, girls who use gay as an insult, girls who think they’re hot shit bc they’re defined by society as pretty

What are you saving money for? My survival HAHA LML

How would you describe your bad side? Dark and depressing and run before you get to know it

Are you actually a good person? Why? Idfk

What are you living for? I’m not sure

Have you ever done anything illegal? Yes lol

Do you like your body? No and this was asked already DEAR LORD

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? No

Ever sent nudes? Kind of

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes

Favourite candy? It goes in waves, but I think rn it’s Crunch bars

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! No I don’t use Tumblr much anymore

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? YES AND MINECRAFT

Favourite TV series? The Great British Bake Off

Are you religious? Does God exist? No I am not and I don’t believe in God, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? I can’t remember tbh

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? Why do I have to have an opinion on this???? Who cares????

How long have you been on Tumblr? Oh geez ummm six years I think

Do you like Chineese food? FUCK YES MOTHA FUCKA

McDonalds or Subway? UGHHHH BOTH

Vodka or whiskey? Vodka for sure

Alcohol or drugs? Drugs (as in pot if you count that, not other drugs)

Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yes

Meaning behind your blog name? It’s lyrics from an MCR song

What are you scared of? Being raped, being burned alive, drowning, getting shot, and getting in a car accident

Last time you were insulted? Idk

Most traumatic experience? Having the cops called on me for being suicidal 

Perfect date idea? Depends on the mood but I’m down for just snuggling and watching horror movies and/or getting high together but also dressing up and going out to dinner is real nice too

Favourite app on your phone? The texting app bc that’s all I really do. And email I check my emails on my phone

What colour are the walls in your room? Beige

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? YES YES YES and Stumpt is my favorite channel

Share your favourite quote. “Maybe it’s because I look at everything as a lesson, or because I don’t want to walk around angry, or maybe it’s because I finally understand. There are things we don’t want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don’t want to know, but have to learn. And people we can’t live without, but have to let go.” - JJ, Criminal Minds 6x02

What is the meaning of life? I have no fucking idea I don’t think there is one

Do you like horror movies? YES

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Yes, many times, and for many reasons

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? No

Can you keep a secret? Yeah

Thanks anon, sorry it took me forever haha. Feel free to come off anon? Interested in who you are. You seem swaggy.