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#i have silly little badges
corvid-ghost · 6 months
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bitch i made over a 100 posts wheres my badge thing omg i figured it out
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doctorsiren · 6 months
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Trucy in some of my recent outfits (part 4)
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lastonthebrakes · 1 year
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wake up guys new personality test just dropped and it's just whether or not you were on the right side of history pertaining to oscar piastri
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justablah56 · 1 year
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i must admit. i am not immune to dragons or things that mutuals/friends (are we friends? can we be friends?) like. and so i am Looking quite intently at that dragon game of yours -
ehhehehehe yessssss >:3 join me in my brainrot over this silly little dragon game that has existed for like maybe 5 months >:3 also !! we can absolutely be friends !! just know I am the most awkward person in existence when it comes to starting conversations sbnsmsms anyways 👁️👁️ staring at you soooo autistically with this game in my hands
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choropilled · 1 year
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trainer cards 4 cypress and zarah...
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hey i Really really really like the badges feature actually
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daz4i · 2 years
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re akira: i'll be honest he is just forever the first ever character i associate you with. You and he are probably stored in the same neuron in my brain. I can't even properly explain it at this point you are the canonical persona 5 protagonist now
re kaeya: he is just a bit of a dazaian character like "hee hee hoo hoo im a silly little guy! engaging in tomfoolery least jobless yet employed person in the world ^-^ there is nothing tragic or sinister about my background and I do not think of what could have been regarding close relationship i had with certain people" (he is not at dazai's level of boredom of the world etc but there are some parallels i feel like i could make and those parallels remind me of u and what characters that i know of u liked or reminded me of)
AJSJDKFLGLG UNDERSTANDABLE! (I'm obsessed with this description of both kaeya and dazai thank you)
and thank you for assigning me as the true protag of p5 😩 i will do my best to live up to the title
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grandmasickomode · 2 years
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Tumblr's aging userbase has finally paid off. We all have jobs and can now pay for all the stupid meme shit that the Staff can dream up.
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seekerstone · 2 years
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yesterday i was literally dragging myself along by my fingertips sobbing the whole time abt how i didn’t want to write and it was too hard & then today had the errant thought that all i had to do to be done with nano was write the remaining 13k
…so i’m sitting at 2k already logged today and i’m planning on writing at LEAST a thousand more words tonight. ideally as many as, say, 4.3k more. just hypothetically. maybe another 6.3k tomorrow to bring my total up to 12.6k in two days. my monthly total up to 50k. who’s to say, really
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gregmarriage · 1 month
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the entire scene where eddie! mulder attempts to seduce scully, and they almost kiss (and scully is definitely into it), until the real mulder walks in, makes me feel like i’m having a stroke
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thesunoficarus1 · 11 months
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I have to physically hold myself back from buying more tumblr badges that I don't need
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fuzzyautumninmetal · 2 months
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Nurse!Reader x 141 and stickers
How I think the 141 would act if Nurse!Reader gives out stickers to all the soldiers they patch up on base: This is my first headcanon
Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish absolutely fucking loves the stickers, like he's lowkey obsessed with getting one. His sketchbook is covered in the stickers you give him and if there's no more room for the stickers that's okay. He'll just buy a new one. Lowkey gets pouty and sassy if you forget to give him a sticker after patching him up.
And we are done. Good as new 
Soap wait's patiently with his hand stuck out 
What are you waiting for Soap?
Fur mah sticker. Obviously
Oh shit. Sorry, I forgot
Whit dae ye mean ye forgot? dae ye nae care aboot me anymair
Grow up you drama Queen
Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick Is a bit like Soap in a way he loves the stickers. They make him happy in this fuck up world, when he get's his sticker for being a brave boy, as you say, he wears the sticker all day as a badge of honour but if he looses the stickers randomly in the day he gets kinda pouty when he asks for another one 
Can I have another sticker please?
Did you loose yours already?
I didn't mean too! I think Soap stole mine. Pretty please can I have another one
You know the rules. Unless you're injured I'm not giving you a stickers
Cue puppy dog eyes
Goddamit Kyle. Fine, here's your sticker but don't loose it
Captain John Price felt a bit silly at first when you gave him a sticker. He's grown man, he doesn't need a sticker for getting patched up but he very quickly grew to love receiving a sticker off you. He asked if you'd tare the paper the sticker is on, they're easier to save then. He doesn't stick them anywhere but has a small box in his office where he stashes them. For safe keeping.
Why don't you wear the stickers?
Because it ruins them
Ruins them?
Yeah. I like to hold onto them
Do you stick them anywhere?
Nope. I have a small box specifically for the stickers you give me 
Simon 'Ghost' Riley thought the stickers were a stupid idea, he's a grown ass man. Why would he want a sticker for getting patched up? He isn't a child. That's what he tells you but secretly he adores them. He'll moan and grumble as you slap one onto his chest but the moment he's in his room, Ghost will carefully peel it off his shirt and stick it in a scrapbook. Once got a little upset you didn't give him a sticker, he left the infirmary pretending he didn't care but 1 hour later he came back
Why didn't you give me a sticker?
Because you don't like them. You said they were stupid
Well. That's because they are. M'not a child
Then why are you asking why I didn't give you a sticker?
Ghost quietly grumbling and sticking his hand out
Can I just have my sticker please 
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gremlingottoosilly · 1 year
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Moo business (monster!Konig x CowHybrid!fem!Reader)
Promotion to colonel has its perks. Having your own caretaker with fluffy cow years and a nice pair of...additions is one of them - and Konig is about to enjoy his new rank.
Content warning: Hybrids, Konig is a huge pervert, naive cow hybrid reader, slight dub-con, power imbalance, and inappropriate work behavior, lactation kink. Implied big chested!Reader
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Humans have learned to live with monsters. Obviously, having dangerous, much more powerful neighbors in this tiny green planet, didn’t allow humans to actually thrive and succeed – the power dynamics were shifted ever since the first monster decided, that wearing a collar and identification badge doesn’t really go with their style. And humans would be much more suited to wear it. 
Unfortunately, monsters aren’t created equal – while most of them are killing machines with little to no regard to the danger of real life, there are some particularly fragile hybrids with no use in fights or even normal life. House cat hybrid girls, almost no claws and all purring and laying on their backs to let humans and other monsters pet their bellies. Sheep hybrids, all fluff and tiny, rounded horns that would never hurt anyone. Cow hybrids, adorable and silly, no use in the fights except for moral support. 
Which is exactly why König was fucking pissed. 
— G…good evening, sir. I will be your assistant for the day. I mean, every day. As long as you’re having me. 
You smile nervously, munching on your lips. When the only way up the social ladder was working in the army as an…assistant? Moral support? Waving your nurse training like you’d be able to safely secure a monster’s health when he is twice as big as you? 
Being a colonel in the army has its perks – better gear, better paycheck, better chunks of meat that he can bite off the enemies without higher-ups whining about war crimes and rules of war. Having a cute lil’ assistant with fluffy ears and a chest that physically can’t fit into the uniform, forcing you to wear permanent cleavage and just let a bit of chubbiness roll on the tight fabric is also a perk. For a pervert, maybe, but not for König who is already sworn to never deal with anyone who is this sensitive, this soft, and this…adorable. 
He thought he was quite certain in his wishes – if higher-ups really need for him to take a fuck toy, he wanted it to be resilient. Maybe a dog hybrid, maybe a vampire, just weak and hungry enough to overpower with little fights. Not someone like you, who has no idea what she is doing in the army and why her hands are trembling like he is going to devour you alive. Although, looking at the way your chest is swaying every time you flinch…maybe, he can do just that. Teach higher-ups a lesson on why he doesn’t need their handouts. 
— Dismissed. 
He doesn’t even look at you. Honestly, you’re a bit hurt – honestly, you almost want to yell at him or scream or tell all of your higher-ups that the colonel is a huge jerk who clearly doesn’t need a little cow darling to make him coffee and tend to his needs and be a huge moral support because they can’t take another fucked out recruit when the dangerous hybrid is in heat again. You feel like a glorified whore – the one that he doesn’t even want. 
— B…but…
You pout your lips, a billion questions raised in your mind – why is he like this, what is his deal and you should even look at him if he clearly doesn’t want you…and that look on your face, helplessness mixed with a bit of deliciously sweet anger, combined with your soft, doe features…
Colonel has a problem. 
He thought he knew what he wanted – a strong partner, someone resilient and fiery, someone who can take his cock anywhere without whining. Someone who wouldn’t require a lot of attention and softness, someone who knows their place. Now König looks at you, your floppy ears and trembling lips, and his gaze darts lower, his nose getting milk fragrances even under all of those layers of fabric. 
It doesn’t take a genius to know why they sent you. He doesn’t need a secretary, he doesn’t need an assistant and even if he needs help with something, there are always lower ranks ready to do whatever he says. You’re useless to him, on all levels he can imagine – and yet, he can’t find it in him, to truly dismiss you. To hate your trembling lips and obedient stare – no thought behind those pretty eyes of yours. He always thought he wanted someone strong, someone who is hard to break and resilient to any advances. 
He looks at you and, for the first time in forever, has this wild urge to protect. 
— Sir? Is everything alright? 
You tilt your head to the side, that naive stare you has makes his cock twitch in his pants. It was a long time since he had sex with anyone, especially that adorable. Some hybrids look like they are made to be fucked and loved and used in all of those delicious ways – he knows it’s problematic, he knows that having that view on fellow monsters isn’t right for someone as strong as him, but he wants to devour you. Wants to see that pretty eyes wide from desire – he knows you’d feel the urge too, it’s in your blood, to present your soft belly and even softer tits to a larger predator. 
Indulging on you would mean giving up on his attempts of constantly undermining the higher-ups – it would also mean that he would finally receive a partner for the extensive mating seasons that clash with his work and make his skilling rate go up – and not just for the enemies. Private Halseen, you will be missed. Your ass probably wouldn’t. 
— I thought you’d heard me the first time. 
— But I brought coffee.
— They make coffee machines in cows now? 
— Sir! I was just trying to…break the ice? I’m your new operator, or, um, assistant, I have nurse training, and I…
— What are you going to do with an injury? Lick it away? 
— M…my saliva has healing properties, so…
— They really sent me a magic cow, ja? 
— That’s a very…special way to put it, colonel.
You are surprisingly stubborn for someone who isn’t a confident killing machine. You balance the little tray with a cup of coffee – a big one, seems like you did your homework on that one – and he can’t help but imagine your hands gripping something else this tightly. Your body is trembling, your face switches between a sad and a surprised expression as he slowly emerges from his table to get a good look at you. 
You’re a cow hybrid – they are naturally adorable, naturally soft, and naturally made for someone like him to tower over. He is good over 7 foot, even in mostly human form, and his monster height would be almost twice your size – he'd love to take you like this, raw, bully his giant cock into your, no doubt, tight pussy, and make you squeal from the stretch. Maybe, he can help you with milk production – put another hybrid into you, make your belly swell from his cum. Keep you locked away in his room like a perfect little treat, using your soft body as a perfect pillow. 
He can’t help but lick his lips in anticipation – saliva collecting in his mouth as the thinks of all the ways he can use such a pretty secretary. There is no way you don’t know why they sent you here – no way you think that your self-worth is something more than being his obedient pet, beloved toy. König never thought of settling down, the bloodshed is his one and only partner – but he looks at your rounded horns, at your twitching ears and pouty lips – and he thinks about putting his earring right into your floppy ear. lick away all the blood and calm you down as you’d squirm under the pain, soothe your panicking cow brain as he would bully his cock even deeper, claiming you as…
Ah, shit. You’re still here, waiting for his answer – your eyes are shocked and afraid, anticipated a little bit because of course you’re aroused, his pheromones are too overwhelming for a thing like you – you stare at the bulge in his pants, at nis, no doubt, hard cock – and he can almost see gears in your head turning slowly. God, you’re adorable. 
— You forgot the milk. 
— Sergeant Horangi didn’t say anything about milk. 
So, Horangi was the one to set you up. Of course, tiger shifter probably got his hots on you – pretty prey, perfect for every hunter nearby, but, just as a good officer, he let you go to his colonel first. You talk back with a surprisingly fierce tone and König appreciates the way his mask covers up his whole face – you couldn’t see his smile, the way corners of his mouth jerked up at your pout. Continue like this, and the colonel will do more than just smile at your antics. 
— Probably because he knew that our milk is shitty. 
— If…if you need me to bring you something else, I will do it right away, sir. 
— No need, Kuhen. I think you have what I need right here. 
His cock twitches in his pants again – your eyes are locked on his bulge, you slowly push the tray to the table. You’re naive, you’re cute, and he knows that KorTac probably pays you triple for being this adorable and playing dumb like the good girl you are – bastards probably know that if you’d be upfront and pushy, he would just set you away from his office. 
But standing here, munching on your lower lip, your soft, pink tongue disappearing in your mouth only to reaper to lick your lips again, your face not ever betraying the emotions you, no doubt, are feeling – König can smell your arousal, can almost see the way your pussy is glittering with juices flowing right into your soaked panties. They send a lamb – a cow – to his chambers and they know that he would never resist a good hunt. You allow him to cut through the chase, to just pin you to his desk and take what’s his – but anxiety, that stupid fucking worm eating his brain over the tiniest facts, is making him question everything again. He knows he thinks too much, he knows it’s not going to do him any good – still, he wants to be sure that you’re not too dumb to understand his advances. Still, he wants to play a bit more. Delay the moment of sex because his doubt can eat him alive otherwise. 
— Take off your shirt, Schatzen. 
He doesn’t even look at your chest, bouncing from the tight shirt you were wearing – poor buttons holding on for dear life, barely containing your soft flesh – he drinks up your expressions, embarrassment, and poorly hidden curiosity. You saw the job requirements for an operator, saw his profile – high risks, high aggression, can be very, very violent – and you decided that you can take him, for the right pay. 
— You want me to…take off something else, sir?
A smart girl would run the fuck away from him – but you just lock your hands in front of you, not even bothering to cover your chest. God, he wants to be with you forever – just for that little look on your face your nervousness. You’re standing in front of him, only wearing pants and your bra – and you’re afraid that he isn’t going to like what he sees. 
Just for this expression, he might as well push a ring on your finger already. 
— Ja. Bra is next. 
You nod like you expected this. You probably did – for a prey hybrid, you’re surprisingly smart in understanding what he needs. Your bra is lacy and cute, white, with little flat roses printed – surely not something he expected from military personnel, even if your duties are laying in under him, not with your belly in trenches and your cute hands squeezing the trigger. 
Your breasts look even bigger without a bra to keep them close. You place a hand under your chest, feeling a bit awkward with your colonel just standing here, looming over your form. You lick your lips – he cocks his head closer to you. You can hear something shifting under his hood – you don’t know what his face looks like, rumors were opting for either a bunch of tentacles tucked neatly inside of his hood, the head of some mythical animal, or a normal, but disfigured and burned human face. You don’t know which option you prefer – even the files you were reading before choosing this job didn’t give you an answer. There is something stirring inside of you when you’re thinking about tentacles, though. 
— Braves Mädchen…good girl. 
You smile, feeling the knot in your tummy getting even tighter at the praise. You like him – despite his rough exterior and the obvious arousal, you like being liked, wanted, and devoured by a much stronger predator. Not having any supernatural powers, your only survival option in this world is to appease the strongest – and it looks like you just got a really juicy target. 
Suddenly, König grabs your waist and lifts you to his table – documents go flying around and you put a bit more, thinking of how long it would take to put everything back together. He doesn’t care for your concerns – the next thing you know, you are pushed ever further into his table, and the colonel lifts the end of his hood just enough to envelop his mouth on one of your nipples. 
— S…sir! Please, a little warning next time…
He laughs, his hands pressing small, sweet bruises into the curve of your waist. His mouth feels cold at first – then he flicks his tongue at your hardened nipple, and it feels like an oven. You moan you squeak, you squirm under him – all those documents and transferring and half a dozen Suits trying to tell you of how dangerous your work is going to be, how unstable and irritated the colonel is, how he is probably going to shoo you from his office the first two weeks – all of this comes flying right out the window. 
— You already think of the next time, Schatzen? 
König never tastes something as sweet, as silky, and smooth as your breasts. There is something deep, primal, wild in the way he sucks and bites at your nipple – he devours the taste of your skin and it feels like he can come to his pants just from the feeling alone. You’re squirming in his grasp, poor thing, probably aren’t used to sensation – he closes his eyes and allows his monster to take over, to take what he wants from you. 
He shifts to your other breasts, warming and cooling them at the same time. He isn’t an expert in that weird kind of massage, but you don’t need an expert in boob sucking when all of your cow instincts telling you to spread your legs and allow him to put babies in you, to breed like the prey you are, to take care of you outside of this stupid job. You’re terrified that his sharp teeth can draw blood and arouse at the way his tongue clicks at your nipples so perfectly, so naturally, like he was doing it his whole life. 
You moan, whispering little begs and praying to deaf ears. Your hands are going to hig his neck, to just kind put your fingers on his hood and just keep it here, not daring to try and direct the movements of his tongue. All of those days of constant preparing for the worst, long nights of studying the psychology of hunters, of predator hybrids, didn’t leave you much time to milk yourself in the past week – you might just be a hybrid, but it doesn’t release you from the endless burden of constant lactation. 
— S…so embarrassing…please, sir, we need to stop or I will…
— Ja, meine Kuh? Did you want to say something to your colonel? 
— Please, I’m going to…fuck, this is embarrassing…
— Language. 
He closes his teeth on your tender bud, making you moan his name – his callsign – loudly. He grunts from satisfaction, finally tasting sweet milk pouring from his body – might be the only thing that makes cow hybrids useful for someone as strong as him. 
Your milk is sweet, rich, and creamy, and your little cries only make it tastier. He pushes his tongue deeper, swirls it around your hardened bud, waits for you to moan even more – every inch of your being makes him feel weird, protective, like he already put a baby in that soft tummy of yours and made you his. It’s dumb, you aren’t even connected on the official level – but he sucks your milk ever so passionately, forgetting about every mission trouble he had.
Sucking your tits feels like therapy – giving up all of his powers just to kiss you, to bite you, to drink your milk, and softly massage the flesh until your pussy starts to grind against the round corner of his table. Poor thing, he doesn’t even touch you in any way – you’re too precious for this, and he falls too deeply into your eyes and the swell of your chest. 
— Sir! Pl…please, don’t…if you’d stop, I will…
He drinks your milk swiftly, feels the liquid dripping down his chin – always a messy eater, one of the reasons he used the mask to hide his embarrassment. He can’t look at your face, the angle is too far off for this, and it disappoints him – he wants to drink your pretty expressions, wants to know that he is one to make that pretty cow this slutty. Just a few minutes ago he was ready to get your ass off his office – and now he is changing between two of your round breasts, making sure to not waste a drop. 
Fuck, this is far better than any milk the base kitchen can provide. 
He sucks a little bit more, pressing his tongue against your swollen, abused nipples. You whine at the sensation, poor little hybrid isn’t used to his teeth and his mouth – he’d have to make sure to repeat this procedure every other day, if possible, to get you used to direct milking. He’d have to spend weeks spreading your pretty cunt for him, teaching you how to milk his cock and meowl like a good prey hybrid you are – but he didn’t become colonel because he was afraid of challenges. 
He stops sucking with a little pop, final droplets of milk falling to his lips as he licks it, groaning from pleasure. His stubble made the soft skin around your nipples irritated and you tremble when the cold air hits them – you feel fragile, used, your pussy is twitching around nothing, the pulsation forcing you to grind against the corner of his table like a bitch in heat. 
König made you like this – half-naked, trembling, so fucking horny that you can’t even look at him without dropping to your knees, and it almost made you want to run away. He squeezes your tits again, enveloping the soft mounts in his large, rough hands – you whine a little bit, still all too sensitive after this pleasurable torture he created. 
— How do you feel? 
He sounds…weaker now. Almost embarrassed at his little outburst, he picks up your bra and helps you get dressed – you both want more, to check if his table is really as sturdy as it looks, but König has a training session in 30 minutes and you have König’s training session, standing behind his shoulder and watching him yelling at the recruits. It would be hard to get scared at him again, when every time his cold gaze darts to your face, he softens. When you look at him and can only imagine milk dripping down your chin – your milk, no less. 
— I’m…empty. In a good way, I mean. Thank you, sir.
You feel weird when he gently helps you get into your clothes, his fingers are simply too big for the buttons – he presses his head against your shoulder, trying to concentrate, and you awkwardly hug him for stability. He chuckles. 
— My pleasure, Schatzen. 
You stand here, awkwardly – your neck enveloped with a collar, with his name on it, and he can’t pry his eyes away from it. God, he never knew that being a colonel would allow him such a cutie as a bonus. KorTac didn’t seem like an organization that would give away wives so easily, but König isn’t going to complain. 
He just has to make sure to keep you chained to his table, that’s all. 
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sports-on-sundays · 4 months
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Okay so 🤭 what if Y/N use to be with ( whatever Barca player you choose ) and they broke it off because they supposedly wanted to focus on their career and the reader was really heartbroken and omg to make it more better y/n is Carlos sister and then she sees or hear how they moved on already! And little by little she starts to be with lando and they announce their relationship when he wins in Miami!! Like full on hard launch. 😭🙌🏽
Also this got me motivated to think of more ideas ima write them down for the future 🤭
papaya girl / LN4
Summary: ex!Ferran x Sainz!baker!reader x Lando - After a devastating breakup with your footballing boyfriend, you think you'll never be able to date someone again.
Warnings: there's a golf scene and I don't golf so-!🤞, mention of sickness, foul language, sorry if some things are not accurate, headache, partying/dancing/drunkenness/clubbing, mention of getting so drunk you had no memory of what happened, implied getting drunk to dampen emotions, getting injured, vomiting, slight soulmate feel, a bit of suggestive talk, use of babe/baby/bae/baby girl/etc., I feel like every kiss I describe is exactly the same sooo- sorry about that! ✌
Requested?: YES! 😘
Author's Note: Do you ever write something so good that you wish you could make it into a movie? That's how I feel about this. I can imagine the scenes. Didn't plan it but I guess 24 is the magic number for this one. I made the request more dramatic because... I like doing that... 👉 👈 🥺 ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST. PERFECT MIX OF ANGST AND FLUFF. I LITERALLY LOVE YOU! If you do have any more ideas and you're up for it, let me know!
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When you met Ferran Torres, you were a Madridista with a passion for Ferrari. Being a Sainz, you've always been rooting for Real Madrid, but your favorite Formula 1 team isn't as consistent. Because before that, you were a McLaren fan. And before that, Red Bull. And everything else before that, too.
Wherever Carlos is, you're a fan of it.
You, quite literally, on the day you met Ferran, were wearing a Cristiano Ronaldo jersey and a backwards Ferrari cap.
And, well, he, a new arrival from Manchester City, liked that, apparently!
And it was beautiful. They way you slowly became closer and closer, growing to know each other more and more.
And then, maybe you just hit a point. Hit a point in your relationship where you wanted more, and Ferran realized that if any more was given by him, it would be too far for him.
And he cut it off. Said he was doing well in Barcelona. He had high hopes. You, a sold out Madrid fan, had been wearing his number on the back of a blaugrana jersey. And despite that blaugrana jersey, he ditched you.
He said his work, his career, his passions, his dreams, were more important than you.
But you can't complain, Y/n. That's fair. He was gentle in letting you know. He made it clear he didn't want any malice between you and him.
You roll over in bed, staring vacantly at your wall. There's a large Real Madrid flag hanging in the middle. A smaller Ferrari flag on one side. A few posters of bands and teams you like or events you've been to, signed by different celebrities. People who are more famous than 'Carlos Sainz Jr.'s sister' or 'Ferran Torres's ex-girlfriend.' On one side, it seems silly to have a poster signed by Max Verstappen, but you do. On the other side of the flag, you have a peeling old McLaren poster, showing the younger versions of Carlos and his former racing partner, Lando Norris, looking just seconds away from breaking into a loud, hysterical laughter.
And next to that, you have a Barcelona poster.
You smile sadly to yourself.
I must look like such a conflicted sports fan.
You stand up, walking over to the wall. After gently peeling the Barcelona poster off the wall, you slowly trace the badge with your fingers, any hint of a smile now gone as tears begin to fill your eyes, threatening to fall.
"This is stupid," you murmur scornfully, your voice cracking softly. "This isn't even my team! It's not my city...!" You toss the poster across the room, leaving it in a place where you don't intend to pick it up anytime soon.
Let it gather dust and crumple. That's what Ferran did. He threw away our relationship like it was nothing but a worthless piece of paper. And now I'm suffering the consequences.
You sigh. You're trying not to let yourself be bitter. You want to look back on everything you and Ferran had and be happy. Appreciate it. You still love Ferran. You don't want to be angry with him.
Someone said to you once, Hurt heals with time, as long as you let it.
You grab a bold, red Sharpie from your drawer and your notebook from a dresser. You scribble those words in all caps, rip out the page, grab some tape, and hang the piece of paper where the FC Barcelona poster used to be.
You sigh, but nod, before turning to get ready for your day.
You hate winter. You never hated winter before this winter, but now you hate it.
With the breakup, you've been avoiding anything La Liga like the plague, even if it doesn't involve Ferran Torres. It just reminds you too much.
And with Carlos on winter break, getting ready for the start of the season, he's not around much. Going on different trips, he's quite busy. Which you don't like. You and your brother have a strong bond.
It's not like you don't have anything to do. You just don't have anything interesting to do. You have a shop that you run, but you have enough staff hired to not have to be there all the time.
Yes, in a family of racing, you were never too into it. Your strong spot is in baking and business running, so that's why you opened up a bakery in Madrid.
And being a Sainz, of course it was a success.
Same type of thing as Charles Leclerc's 'LEC,' except you're not the racing driver Charles Leclerc, you're not doing ice cream, and you've always been doing this, for five years now.
You watch as a young, excited couple walks in, jabbering away in English. You can just tell they're tourists as they get in line to order. Once they get to the counter, the woman immediately leans over the counter in excitement, saying, "Is Carlos Sainz here?" in English.
You chuckle. Sounds American. "Which Carlos Sainz?" you tease.
They look blankly at you as if you're just about the dumbest individual to walk planet Earth. You chuckle and say, "Why don't you get to ordering? There's a line."
Towards the afternoon, as things begin to quiet down just a little bit, you look up at the doorbell jingles and freeze.
When he reaches the counter, you snap at Ferran, "Why are you in Madrid?"
"Am I not allowed to be? Either way, hello to you, too."
You sigh, licking your lips as you study the Valencian boy. "What can I get for you?"
He shrugs and orders, before seating himself down at one of the seats at the counter. "How have you been, Y/n?" he asks.
"Fine," you swallow, staring down. "And you?"
"I'm good." From there, he begins just talking, as if we're old friends or something, and not exes.
He seems so happy. So content.
To not be with you.
Suddenly, mid-way through one of his many sentences, you slip your hand over his, almost on impulse. He stops, staring to your hands, and then to you.
You breathe softly, "Why? Why did you come here to just talk to me? Aren't you moved on? Ferran, this is torture for me."
Lines crease into his face. You can see him swallow, looking at your smaller hand on his. "I'm... I'm sorry. I am moved on. I'm doing well. I just thought maybe we could be friends. I'd never want to date you again; I'm not in the place to date anyone. I'm happy single. But I just feel bad. I know you're hurt, and... I'd be happy to still be friends with you, is all?" He slips his hand out from underneath yours and takes his cup of coffee with it, taking a sip as he watches you intently.
You drag a hand over your face. Though you didn't want to admit it, seeing him come in to the bakery gave you hope. That maybe he wanted to try again. But those words that came out of his mouth? They cut deep.
"Listen, Ferran," you barely whisper. "I'm still trying to work through what happened. Everything. It's hard for me. But I appreciate it, and when I'm ready, if I'm ever ready, I'd love to be your friend. O- Okay?"
He nods slowly, staring down. "Alright... Fair enough."
"What's wrong?" your older brother, Carlos, asks. You watch outside the window as the world travels by.
You sigh. "Ferran."
"Him, again?"
"Carlos," you sigh. "Stop. It's nothing new. I'm just missing him. He wants to stay friends, but I said I needed time."
"Ah. Well, you know, I did tell you never to date-"
"-a Barcelona player. I know," you roll your eyes with a little smile.
He chuckles, shaking his head. "Hurt heals with time, as-"
"-long as you let it. I know," you comment, smiling a bit wider.
"Exactly. It'll come."
You sigh. "I hope so."
As Carlos pulls into the parking lot, you say, "So. Is that why you decided to take me golfing with your friends? Just wanted to check up on me, but you never have the time to sit down over dinner these days?"
Carlos smiles as he shuts off the car. "No. I could have made time. But I wanted your company golfing."
"You know I'm not big on g-"
"Shut up," he grins. "Yes you are."
"I suck."
"Not as bad as some people I know. In fact, you're actually pretty okay."
Soon, you meet up with a bunch of Carlos's friends. They're all chatting, and you're just kind of zoning off, looking out over the grassy hills, when suddenly you look up when Carlos says, "Ay! Lando!"
You blink in complete and utter shock. "Why is Lando Norris here?"
As Lando approaches, he eyes you, saying teasingly, "Well, thank you for the warm welcome, Y/n Sainz."
"Lando was just around, so he made the drive to meet us here," Carlos quickly fills in.
Soon, you're all off. After a round, as you're walking back to the cart to go get lunch, Carlos says, nudging Lando, "I think my baby sister is better than you."
Lando laughs. "You fucking muppet; what are you talking about?"
You grin, falling in step with Lando and Carlos. "I'm a better golfer."
"That is just wrong," Lando says, glancing at you. "Downright wrong."
"It's a Sainz thing," Carlos puts in. "There's no way for you to beat us, Lando. You can't. Winning runs in the family."
Lando rolls his eyes, reiterating, "Your baby sister is not better than me."
"You have no right to call me a baby," you put in indignantly. "I'm probably older than you."
Lando looks at you, his nose all scrunched up. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-four."
"Hah! Same age."
"That still doesn't mean you get to call me a baby!"
"Her birthday is in January; different year than Lando's. Lando, you can call her a baby; you're older," Carlos says.
"Carlos!" you snap. "Don't give him permission!"
Carlos grins and shakes his head as he breaks off to chat with some of his other friends and get on the cart with them.
Lando grins, giving a discreet pat on your lower back as he murmurs, "Sorry, baby."
And for some reason, that makes you feel things. You decide to blame it on the fact that Lando's just good-looking.
Once you're all seated down with your lunch, you comment, "So what's with the whole..." your hand goes to your chin, referring to his facial hair, as you look at Lando expectantly.
Lando slams down his fork, saying lightheartedly, "Sick of people asking me that!"
You smirk. "Makes you look like you're forty."
"Whatever, baby."
"You know, I have a picture on my wall of you and Carlos when you were just babies, too."
As soon as Lando raises an eyebrow with a smirk, you know it was a mistake to word it that way. "You have a picture of me and Carlos on your wall?" he asks, mock condescendingly.
"No, no. I mean, I do, but- It's just an old McLaren poster." You immediately look down.
"What, are you a fan of mine?" Lando teases further.
"No! I'm a fan of Carlos, and you just so happened to be his teammate at that time. The point is that you two look like pipsqueaks in that photo! Lando, you looked so awkward, with all your acne-"
"What, Lando, you think she's a McLaren fan? She's sold out for Ferrari," Carlos interrupts.
"Literally! I deck myself out in red every Sunday!"
"Today's Sunday," Lando starts like the stupid idiot he is, "And I don't see you wearing red."
You groan, leaning back, covering your face in your hands. "Carlos, how are you this guy's friend? He's so annoying! Why'd you invite him for? How do you put up with him?"
Carlos just smirks, patting your shoulder, and says, "I'm used to having to put up with irritable people, after having to grow up with you."
You roll your eyes, fighting off a smile as all the guys around you at the table laugh out loud.
On the car ride back, you're mostly silent, your thoughts swimming with one thing and one thing only.
Lando Norris.
And there's a soft smile on your face as you think about your morning with him.
But Carlos can tell you're deep in thought. Usually, you'd be yapping away right now. "Anything on your mind?" he asks carefully.
You sigh. "Not much."
"You're bad at lying. You're staring out the window dreamily. What's on your mind?"
You sigh. "It's stupid. You'll make fun of me."
"I'm not stupid, though. I can already guess what it is."
You gulp. "How?"
"For the whole day, the only person you talked to was Lando."
You feel your stomach drop. "It's nothing serious, Carlos. He's just funny."
"You said something like that to me about Ferran Torres right before you officially started dating."
That makes you feel a bit sick. "Carlos, I won't let that happen again."
"Don't. And don't be getting interested in anyone until you're over your ex. And we both know you're not. And please don't be getting interested in someone like Lando."
"Why?" You eyebrows scrunch together. "I thought you two were buddies."
Carlos grins teasingly. "If you somehow got yourself with him, there would always be two annoying people in one place."
"You're intolerable!" you snap, laughing.
"You are too, hermana."
It strikes Carlos as strange when the first thing Lando says to him the weekend of Bahrain, before even a hello, is: "Is your sister here?"
"Why do you want to know?"
Lando shrugs. "She's nice."
"No... She'll be coming to Australia, though..." Carlos can't help but feel suspicion fill his chest. He's always been somewhat protective of you, being his little sister and all.
"Perfect," Lando grins, and he's off.
In Australia, like any other race, you're decked out in your red. Ferrari hat, Ferrari jacket, red jeans. Ferrari earrings. Even your black shoes have a stripe of red on the sides.
Carlos always tells you it's dumb. But it's become a part of your whole thing, since you spend a huge amount of your life following Carlos around and going to Grand Prixs.
It's fun sometimes, being Carlos Sainz Jr.'s sister!
But when you see a shock of papaya in your red world called Ferrari's hospitality, you squint, slipping your sunglasses up on your hat, and say, "Who said you could walk in like that uninvited?"
"No one," Lando grins, "but I'm only here to see you."
Your eyebrows raise as you stand up. "Wha-"
"Come with me. I'm going to barf if I have to breathe Ferrari air any longer. Just your terrible get-up is making me nauseous. I guess I'll be free from seeing that stupid outfit next year when Carlos isn't in Ferrari-"
"Oh, shut it, you!" you snap, but follow him with a grin on your face.
"So you broke up with your Barcelona man?" Lando start, cutting straight to the chase.
"Uh-" you swallow. "He broke up with me."
"Yeah? Why's that?"
You're not sure why Lando wants to know, and he certainly doesn't have any reason to know, but still you say, "We had been dating for a while, you know? I wanted something more. You know, to go deeper. Someday, I'd love to even maybe get married. But, Ferran... well, he didn't want to go the step deeper. Said he wanted to focus on his career. He broke it off. We're on fine terms, though."
"Ah..." he nods slowly. "That sounds like a tough breakup."
"Yeah... Yeah, it was."
He continues nodding, and catches your eye before saying, "So I'm assuming you want to... you know, you won't be up for any more relationships any time soon? Lot to work through?"
You suddenly feel your face begin to heat up. "Uh, well- depends on who it is, I suppose," you blurt without thinking.
"Hm?" He raises an eyebrow. A little smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. "Well, considering the fact that your face is just about as red as that Ferrari hat on your head, I'm wondering what you think of me."
You swallow, feeling even more embarrassed. "Are you suggesting...?"
"If you're up for it, the night after the Grand Prix, you can meet me at my hotel room, and we'll go from there. Text me if you decide 'yes,' for the details."
"I don't have your numb-"
He gives a cute little smile and opens his hand to reveal a folded up piece of paper. "Now you do. See you later, Miss Sainz!"
You stand, dumbfounded, as he jogs off.
"Oh my God, Carlos! Well done! So well done! Oh my God!" you scream in the midst of your strings of excited swear words, in both Spanish and English. "Did you actually just win the Australian Grand Prix?!"
He grins as he kisses your cheek, patting your back and saying, "Yes, I actually just did."
You hug your older brother tight, resting your head on his shoulder. "Love you. You did amazing. After everything you've been through. You're going to be leaving Ferrari next season and with your surgery and everything and-"
He smiles a bit. "Want to let me go now? Can't squeeze me too tight, remember?"
"So you can drive a race car and win the race, but you're too fragile for me to hug you!" you laugh, but release him from the hug.
He laughs out loud. "Yes, pretty much."
Hours later, you stand in the lit, mostly empty hallway, knocking on the white-painted door. You've change out of your Ferrari red head-to-toe fit, and are now wearing a black t-shirt with the F1 logo in red on the left side, black sweatpants, and your hair held back by a headband.
Lando probably isn't here, you think as you wait. I look so stupid. He doesn't care as much as he acts like he does. He's probably out partying or something. He got a podium. Carlos won. There's no way he's just sitting around in his hotel room-
You look up in surprise as the door clicks and swings open to reveal Lando Norris standing before you.
You beam and say a bit too loud, "Lando!"
He laughs. "Hey..." He's dressed in a white button down, dark blue jeans, and his regular assortment of jewelry. "Want to come in for a bit?"
You nod. "Were you... just out?" you ask slowly.
He chuckles again, plopping down on the sofa. "If I were just out, I wouldn't be looking this neat."
"Oh... Oh?"
"Come on. Sit down next to me," he encourages with a wave of his hand. "Something funny- I've had my eyes on you for a while now."
You look up in somewhat shock. "That's why you're so confident about this?"
"That, and that I'm just the peak of all confidence," he jokes, clearly mocking cockiness.
You roll your eyes.
"But really. I've been flirting with you for a while."
This time your eyes widen. "No way."
"Just little. I knew you were dating that Torres-"
"How?"
He smiles. "Doesn't take much to find out. Anyway, I think you just blocked it out because you were dating someone else. Shows you're a loyal girl."
"Hm..." you nod slowly. "I... I suppose...?"
Suddenly, he takes your hand in his. "So, you like me?"
"I think I have for a while. Like you said- I blocked it out because I was dating someone else." You didn't even know that until now, hearing the words coming from your mouth.
He smirks. "Even better. So..."
"Yeah?" you ask, a little glimmer in your eyes.
"I'd like to know what the hell you're wearing."
Suddenly, your face falls. "Uh- I'm sorry- I- I thought we- Um-"
Lando laughs. "Y/n! I'm teasing!"
"O- Oh!" you laugh nervously.
"I was just thinking... Maybe you'd want to go out and celebrate with me?"
"Oh-" you nod. "Right."
"So, do you want to get changed? I'll text you where we'll meet in a half hour?"
You grin, standing up. "Sounds good."
"See you then."
"Holy fuck, man," are Lando's first words when he sees you. You're wearing sunglasses, a form-fitting sequin shirt, and flattering white jeans.
"What?" you ask anxiously. "Is it too much?"
"Too much? Y/n, you're gorgeous."
You sigh in relief. "Alright good... And- one thing."
"Hm?" Lando asks, an eyebrow raised.
"I don't know if we... could we say we're... that you're my..."
"Partner? Boyfriend?"
You swallow. "Sure. I think... I think I'm good with that. At least for tonight."
He nods.
"But let's not make it clear here. I don't want the way for everyone to find out about this being, you know, by nightclub pictures on the internet."
He smirks a bit, nodding. "Fair enough, then. Let's go."
"Rise and shine! Let's hit the grind, Y/n!" an unfamiliar voice wakes you up.
You roll over to see Lando's handsome face looking down at you. You're in his hotel room, in the one bed. He's all dressed and ready to go, and towering over you, looking like a giddy dog.
You sit up, rubbing your eyes. "I've got a killer headache. What happened last night." You feel disgusting, and wrinkle your nose as you get a whiff of the alcohol scent radiating off of you.
He grins. "I learned that you have no tolerance whatsoever."
You frown. "Unlike you, Norris, I'm not getting drunk all the time! Now, tell me what really happened!"
"Nothing much. Just a lot of fun," he sits down next to you, "and it's a shame that you can't remember any of it." He chuckles a bit, saying, "You got fucking wild. You were more fun though before you got absolutely drunk out of your wits."
"You didn't do anyth-"
"No, no!" he rolls his eyes. "Besides, Carlos was there. I wouldn't dare. You at least remember Carlos, right, being there?"
You roll your eyes. "Yes, of course I do."
"But you really did completely black out? You don't remember anything?"
You swallow nervously. "No... I don't really remember anything... I mean, I guess..." You close your eyes, thinking hard. "Just dancing... music was super loud, but... that's not anything specific. I don't feel well at all now, though..." You start to feel a bit dizzy at the energy you're putting into trying to remember.
You open your eyes and look at Lando.
He smiles. "Well, it was fun, nothing more. Want me to bring you back to your hotel now?"
"Yeah, I guess..." you nod, cradling your head in your hands. "That'd be great..." You see the wine stain on your jeans. You can feel an ache in your ankle. You just need to clean yourself up.
Lando helps you limp to the car, assuring you that you just tripped. Saying your ankle is fine; it'll feel better in a few days' time.
You're not so sure.
As Lando drives, he knows he should tell you the details, like Carlos said.
But it still feels like you'd be better off not knowing at all.
Nine hours before
Though every single one of Lando's molecules in his body told him not to, he had to keep pushing you off. He sat talking away with some other dudes, and you sat his side, drunkenly trying to wrap your arms around him.
You blubbered softly about all kinds of stuff, a strange mixture of being utterly devastated and overly romantic.
Lando knew. You didn't get drunk this often.
A part of him felt bad. A huge part of him. He didn't think he had pressured you into anything. Certainly not intentionally. And you were the one who kept drinking more. But maybe he did...
Maybe it was his fault you were the mess you were now.
"Lando..." you murmured, your hand gripping his bicep. You leaned closer. "You're so sexy in that shirt." You reached over to unbutton another button of his shirt.
He gently pushed you away for the millionth time. "Remember, Y/n? You don't want anyone to know you're into me this much," he whispered lowly to you, running a hand through his hair. "Remember that, baby."
You pouted. "Ferran broke up with me and made me sad. Can't you make me happy now."
"Not now. I won't be doing anything when you're this drunk."
"I'm not that drunk..."
Lando snorted. "Whatever you say, lovely."
All was going as fine as it could be going. But then Carlos showed up. "Hey, Y/n-" he had started.
But you had interrupted him by slapping your hand on Lando's shoulder, leaning into it, and giggling giddily, "Look at this pretty boy."
Immediately, Carlos's eyes flashed with shock. And then vague panic. And then anger.
"Lando, how drunk did you get her?!" he snapped, raising his voice even more than he already was. The flashing lights on the Spanish man's face helped Lando's anxiety no more.
"I didn't get her drunk at all! I tried to stop h-"
"Yeah, fucking right. Come with me Lando-"
"No!" you had snapped, standing up to grab Lando's sleeve before your older brother could drag him away.
You were clearly biting back tears. "Lan didn't do anything..." You stumbled drunkenly into the British man, who steadied you gently, before helping you sit down again.
Carlos's face remained hard and steadied on Lando, but he spoke no words, as if he was battling in his head what to do.
Lando sighed. "Listen, Carlos. She won't remember any of this tomorrow morning. Let's just not bring this up again, yeah? It was a mistake. Stuff happens. She got wild and had one too many. We've all had those nights."
But Lando genuinely didn't think Carlos had had one of those nights before.
Lando certainly had, though.
"She deserves to know."
"Maybe she shouldn't, though. She's gone through a lot with her ex breaking up with her and everything. And I'm sure your career up in the air isn't helping her cause much, either. She loves you more than the world. And think about how worrying it was for her to see you go into surgery like that, and race right afterwards? The good emotions just hit her, man. But it's probably a lot. She's just going through a lot. She doesn't need the guilt of getting too drunk and acting a little stupid, yeah?" Lando ranted, intently studying the older Spaniard's eyes.
Carlos's eyes slowly softened. "Alright... I won't tell her what's happening once she's sober. Only if I can make a deal with you."
Lando bit his lip, running a hand through his messed up hair. "What is it?"
"I won't say a word to her, as long as you promise to stay away from my sister. I know you're interested in her."
Lando's eyebrows creased together. "What does that men? Why?"
"Quit trying to get with my sister, and then it's a done deal."
Lando let out a shaky breath, slowly nodding. "Alright, then. Whatever. It's a done deal."
Of course Lando didn't intend on following through with his end of the deal.
But when Lando turned around to check on you on the couch, he froze when he saw you were gone. "Where'd Y/n go?" he immediately asked the other guys and girls sitting around.
"The hot Spanish girl?" one guy asked in a painfully slow Australian accent.
"Yes, her!" Lando demanded, his buzzed brain filling with irrational panic and overwhelming confusion.
He lazily gestured and responded, "Went to go dance, I reckon."
And before Carlos or anyone else could react any faster, Lando tore into the crowd, shoving people aside and squeezing through gaps that weren't there, in search of you.
She's drunk out of her mind! What the hell was she thinking!
That's right. She wasn't thinking.
And then, he spotted you, just for a moment. Moving your hips, stumbling about, thinking you were just about the sexiest thing in the room.
"Move out of my fucking way," was Lando's polite way of shoving two guys out of the way.
He could see the sweat glistening on your face. He could see the dumb smile on your face, your high giggles. He could see fresh wine spilled on your white jeans. He could see hands on you; he took no energy to see who they connected to as rage filled his entire being.
And he watched, almost in slow motion, as your ankle rolled on your black stiletto, and you stumbled to the floor with a brain rattling, painful cry.
Immediately, Lando shoved his way to your side, slipping his hands under your body. "My God, Y/n!" he nearly screamed over the music. "You idiot! You beautiful, fucking stupid, idiot! Tell me why I fell in love with you! You're going to be the death of me!"
"Hi Lando," you murmured through tears. "My ankle..."
"Yeah, yeah, I see. Let's get you out of here, yeah?"
You swallowed, nodding as Lando tucked your hair behind your ear. He lifted you to your feet and let you lean on him as he helped you limp out of the club.
"I'm sorry, Lando..." you had muttered hoarsely.
"Hey, don't worry," Lando had responded. "Never apologize for having nothing but a good time."
But he, Lando Norris, disagreed with the words coming out of his mouth. That was his motto, his excuse, all the time. But as soon as soon as he saw you, someone he genuinely really loved, really cared about, living like that?
It made him sick to his stomach.
Speaking of that, as soon as you were outside, you stumbled away from Lando. He steadied you with one hand and held your hair back with the other as you doubled over and vomited, your previously red face impossibly pale.
"Are you done?"
"Yeah..." you gasped after about a minute.
"Alright. Okay. Let's get to my hotel room now."
Lando could barely understand your slurred words as you responded, "As long as we're getting away from here."
Now
You were going to go to the Japanese Grand Prix. But you just wanted to stay home. With a sprained ankle that confines you to crutches and an illness you've picked up, there was no way you were going to fly across the world for a Grand Prix, especially with the potential jet lag.
You lay on your couch and text Lando. You've been thinking, and you let him know that though you really do want to go places with him, you want to go slower.
You still don't know what happened on that night in Melbourne. For some reason, you can't get anything of significance out of Carlos or Lando. But you know more than what they're saying must have happened that night.
You asked Charles, because he was there. He provided a bit more information, but not much. He said he wasn't really hanging around you that night, but that he did see you cuddling with Lando.
When you asked Lando about it, he said you were drunk, it was just you not thinking, and it only happened once. That you stopped after he pushed you off.
And social media shows no one caught it on camera, or anything that night, for that matter.
So at least there's no fans going crazy over anything.
Lando texts you back, saying that he thinks it's best to go slow. Just let yourselves ease into whatever your relationship is going to be.
It's a relief to see he agrees with you on that.
But then he sends another text, asking you to try to keep it a secret. Even from your family, including Carlos.
You ask why, and he responds saying he simply agrees it's good to be private, and he doesn't want Carlos judging.
Though you're not sure about it, since Carlos is not only your favorite (only) brother, but also your best friend, you still tentatively agree to it.
Lando probably has a good reason.
Right?
By the time the Chinese Grand Prix comes around, though your foot is still in a walking boot, you're over your illness, and decide you're going to go for it and make the trip halfway across the world. After all, you've never been to China!
It's true that your walking boot doesn't look the best with your shades, shining silver jewelry, and overalls, but oh well. The most annoying part is literally everyone who even half knows your name (the Sainz part) keeps asking you what the hell happened to your ankle.
And you have literally no response but, "I fell," because you have no more of an idea than them, and there's no way you're about to say, 'Hah I just got drunk with Lando and got so fucking crazy that I twisted my ankle and sprained it! Anyway!'
Yeah, no way.
So "I fell," is the best option you have.
But the most concerning thing to you is that you haven't even seen Lando yet, all weekend. Though you haven't seen each other in a while, you've been calling, texting, and face timing often, your relationship growing a lot.
You chew your lip as you limp towards the McLaren garage. You peek in, scanning for Lando, but only see Oscar.
You limp to him.
"Whoa- What happened to your-"
"I fell," you say, thoroughly exasperated with this. "Anyway, is Lando around?"
"Lando? Uhhh..." he looks around.
Dude, hurry up. I'm not supposed to be here, your thoughts practically scream.
But then he walks in himself, and you grin, waving, "Lando!" you call.
He walks over to you, smiling. "Aw. Look at my little injured girlfr- uh, uhm, mate. My injured mate." He glances nervously at Oscar.
But the Australian just smiles, "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."
Lando nods gratefully, before leading you to a more private place. "Hey," he says softly once you're alone, his hands resting on your waist. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm alright... Ankle's getting better, slowly but surely."
"Oh, good," he almost looks relieved. "That's so good to hear. I'm so glad you made the big trip to be here, Y/n."
You smile softly. "I was starting to miss you."
He grins. "I was missing you, too, baby... I think I could make some time for you this weekend, too. We could just get take out, hang out at my hotel room, you know. No more partying, even if I win, right?" he teases gently, gesturing to your foot.
You snort. "Yeah. Yeah, no more partying for now for me."
Later that night, you lay next to Lando in his hotel room. His arms are wrapped around you, his hand rubbing your back. "Look at me," he murmurs sleepily.
You look up to see his soft eyes looking at you, with so much, tenderness, so much...
love.
You feel a flutter in your stomach. "Lando, how did we get here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Two months ago, I would lie awake in bed, dreaming about and missing Ferran. I was so lonely. Now here I am. Two months, and I'm laying here, in your arms."
He grins a bit. "I bet it's because we're meant for each other."
"That's cliché."
"No, it's not. I really mean it. You know, I had a crush on you even back when Carlos was in McLaren, you were around a lot more, in papaya."
"No, you didn't-"
"Yes, I did!" he laughs softly. "I really did. The day I saw you in the paddock. The day Carlos pointed you out as his sister. The day you flipped your hair and looked at me with those warm brown eyes. And then looked away from me, because in my first season in McLaren, I was the farthest thing from attractive."
You giggle at this. "You're kidding."
"No, I'm not! That was the day that I knew- I knew- that someday, I was going to make you mine," he murmurs, his eye half-lidded as his hand gently caresses your cheek.
"Lando!" you squeak, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. "Don't you dare make me cry for no reason!" You wait a minute, before saying softly, "Well, maybe, just maybe, back then, though you were a pipsqueak, you were kind of cute... And I've always gotten butterflies from your jokes and teasing, even all those years ago, before I was even dating Ferran."
He laughs. "Awww... So you've always had a little bit of a crush on me, too!" You can see by his blushing cheeks and beaming eyes that just this fact is making him feel warm inside.
You roll your eyes, giggling. "I guess, maybe...."
He flicks your nose gently, playfully, holding you even closer. You lay there in more silence, before Lando says softer, even more tenderly, "Hey, Y/n... can I talk to you about something...?"
"Of course, Lando..." Your eyebrows knit together.
You watch as he swallows. Nods. Sighs. "Okay... Something has been bugging me..." He pauses. "I... I feel like I never should have brought you out that night in Australia... you know? Like, beyond the sprained ankle."
Your eyes flash. "What do you mean?"
"Well... You just got so drunk, and... I feel so bad... Like, somehow, it's my fault... I didn't mean for you to get hurt, or to drink that much... I just thought we'd have fun. Like I always do with my friends. And you're my girlfriend; supposed to be my closest friend..."
"Lando," you murmur shakily. "Did you try to get me that drunk? You didn't encourage it, did you?"
He looks nervous. "I genuinely don't think so, but I'm nervous I did... I tried to tell you enough was enough, but maybe I should have looked out for you more... Maybe I should have worked better at keeping you from getting that drunk... But we were having so much fun and I figured you would know your limit... I shouldn't have assumed."
"Lando! Don't blame yourself! It was my fault. I got too drunk, I fell and sprained my ankle. The sentiment of you wanting to look out for me is nice, but when push comes to shove, I'm in charge of myself, just like you're in charge of yourself, and it was my fault. My mistake. M'kay, Lando...?"
He nods slowly, still looking a bit unsure. "Well, Carlos isn't mad at you about it. He's mad at me..."
"Carlos is what?!"
"Ah, fuck. Forget I ever-"
"Lando Norris, explain."
"Whoa, that's sexy," he laughs.
"What?!" you exclaim in exasperation, yet you're still unable to keep your stomach fluttering by Lando's sudden spoken intrusive thought.
He grins, his eyebrows raised. "I don't know. Full name, in such a firm voice? Like, yes, mommy, order me around. I'll do whatever you want me to," he says in a low, goofy, teasing voice.
You can't stop your face from heating up. "Oh, shut it, you!" you snap, your voice cracking awkwardly as you flick him in the nose this time. And you flick his stupid nose harder than he flicked yours earlier.
He giggles evilly, rolling over. "Look at yourself! You liked that! You're a blushing mess!"
"No, I didn't. What a stupid way to flirt."
"Oh, well, I can show you even more stupid ways to flirt. Because, apparently, it doesn't quicken your heart rate at all."
You groan. "You are so annoying."
He leans over, giving you a peck on your lips. "I know. And you know you love me for it."
You forget to ask him again about Carlos.
"Baby, c'mere," Lando says, nodding for you to join him in his driver's room.
"Dude, watch what you call me when there's listening ears around."
Lando shrugs. "It's only Oscar in the other room."
"So? What makes you trust Oscar so much, anyway?"
He shrugs. "I don't know. He's a good guy. And he's not gossipy, like me."
You laugh. "You are, are you?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm a fucking gossip girl."
You laugh out loud at this as Lando shuts the door of his driver's room behind you.
Lando grins. "Anyways, Oscar is trustworthy because he's not the type of guy to have any desire not to keep a secret."
You frown, crossing your arms. "Alright. Whatever. Anyways, why'd you bring me in here?"
Lando shrugs, sitting down on the one chair in the room. "Sit down, babe."
You blink. "Where? On the fricking floor?"
"Uh, no," Lando rolls his eyes jokingly, as if this is the most obvious thing. "On my fricking lap, Y/n. Come on now. Duh."
You can't help but find yourself blush at that as you slip onto his lap. He wraps his hands around your waist, giving you a kiss on the cheek. You smile, leaning into him as you ask softly, "So why'd you bring me in here? Just for kicks?"
He grins. "I need my Y/n fix before the race. You know, it'll make me drive better."
"Oh? Is that how it works?" Suddenly, though, before Lando can respond, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You slip it out and sigh. "It's Carlos, asking me where I am. I feel like I'm under surveillance."
Lando blows a raspberry before saying, "Just ignore it, bae. You're a twenty-four year old woman; Carlos needs to get over it."
"Get over what?" you ask, an eyebrow raised.
"You not being his baby sister anymore. You're my baby now," he murmurs into your shoulder, pulling you closer to himself.
You laugh. "I still can't decide whether you're the worst flirt I've ever met or the smoothest. But right now, I'm thinking the worst."
"Oh, well!" he says, looking up at you with innocent eyes, batting his lashes. "Doesn't matter to me, because either way, you like it! Anyway, back to before Carlitos had to interrupt-"
You giggle as he begins kissing your face and say, "Carlitos? I'm not even allowed to call him that without him going psycho man on me-"
"Mmm... Can you talk less? It's cuter when you do that giggle thing," Lando murmurs between kisses.
This causes you to laugh out loud. "Sometimes, Lando, I think you're so weird." You realize, in a strange way, though, Lando is right. Because of the giddy feeling of literally having your boyfriend shower you with kisses and love, you're just kind of trying to find anything to talk about.
But maybe you should just take one moment to shut up.
You lean into the kisses, exhaling slowly. Contently, despite your pounding heart and sweating neck.
Finally, you feel as though your face is absolutely, completely covered in Lando's kisses. You sigh, contented, as Lando kisses the tip of your nose, and then pecks your lips.
You giggle, opening your eyes to gaze into his.
But his eyes flutter shut as he leans in, his hand slipping to the nape of your neck. And his lips meet yours again, this time in a real kiss. You shut your eyes, enjoying those lips on your own, sending tingles throughout your whole body, causing your breath to grow heavier and heavier. Desire pulses in every beat of your heart, causing the passion in the kiss to build and build. Your right hand falls into his chest as the other knits itself in his curly locks. You feel Lando's hand on your hip as his fingers snake under to grip your ass gently. You can feel his hot breath on you, in you, apart of you, as his other hand gently stroking your neck, giving you little twitches of longing for more. Your tongues find an art of lingering exploration, Lando's hunger seeming to never be satisfied as his tongue and lips tease your nerves, the emotional and physical connections between you seeming stronger than ever. His hand slides down your neck to your back, pulling you closer to him, so your chests are pressed into one another.
Suddenly, though, there's a pounding on the door of Lando's driver's room. Your eye cracks open. Lando's squeeze tighter shut, his eyebrows creasing together, as if he wishes so much that this never has to end.
Lando grunts, finally pulling away. Oscar's voice on the other side of the door saying Lando's name seems to be in another, insignificant world. You're both gasping as you study each other's eyes in a certain awe.
A soft, mischievous smirk appears on Lando's lips. Those lips that now you can't stop staring at. "Was your first kiss with Torres that hot?"
You let out a breathy laugh. "Definitely not."
There's a pause, of just softly smiling, gazing into each other's eyes, before Lando breathes, his eyes half-lidded, "My fucking God," He gently, slowly strokes your warm, pink cheek. "Did I ever tell you how head over heels I am for you?"
Before you can respond, Oscar's voice says again from outside, "Lando, if you don't respond, soon, I'm coming in."
Lando groans again, leaning his head back, "You can't! The door's locked!" He then adds under his breath, "Fucking Osc, interrupting as soon as I was going to take it to the next step."
At this, you blush even deeper. "You were-"
Lando waves his hand dismissively. "I would have checked with you first."
You nod, breathing deeply.
"Alright, baby," he sighs, running a hand through his hair, ruffling it up a bit. "Let's go see what the hell Oscar wants."
When the door swings open, Oscar can't help but chuckle how how much, in that moment, you two look like some snarky super villian duo, about to give him some cheesy monologue. You both stand, arms crossed, practically back to back. Lando wears a scornful grin and you display a glare as hard as stone. Even your clothes- Lando's racing clothes and your head-to-toe Ferrari red, finish off the silly look.
"What's so funny?" you demand upon seeing the Australian's laughter.
"Nothing, nothing. But I hope you guys know: These walls are not soundproof."
"What are you suggesting?" Lando snaps. "You couldn't have possibly heard anything, you idiot!"
"Whoa, whoa! I didn't! I'm just saying!" Oscar says, going on the defensive, putting both hands up. "Me and my girlfriend don't lock ourselves in my driver's room before the race, losing track of time and forcing you to go get us!"
"You and your girlfriend are probably going to buy a house with a white picket fence and have 2.5 children and a golden lab! Oscar and Lily is bad enough, but I'm surprised it's not John and Emily!"
"Whoa," Lando says, laughing as you walk out of the driver's room together and he shuts the door. "Shots fired. Calm down, Y/n; jeez."
But Oscar's laughing, too, so you know there's no need to apologize.
"Lan... You know I wasn't kidding earlier when I said I won't go out, right?" you say nervously as you walk into his hotel room, rolling your suitcase from your own hotel room.
"Yeah, I know you weren't. I wasn't kidding, either."
"So... What?" you ask, sitting down on the edge of his bed, crossing your arms. "You're planning on going alone? Then why did you bring me to your hotel room-"
"Y/n," he suddenly says, leaning down to gently grab your chin and look you directly in your eyes. "I'm not going anywhere tonight. I'm staying right here."
Your jaw actually drops. "I'm sorry, but who are you and what have you done with Lando Norris? Because that man would never miss an opportunity to party."
This makes Lando let go of you and break into a fit of laughter. "Y/n!" he breathes. "What the hell are you talking about? Before that, I would never miss an opportunity to spend time with you."
You stare. "Okay, actually. I'm being serious now. What did you do with Lando?"
You watch as your boyfriend chuckles, sitting down next to you. "Baby. I'm not going to go out clubbing while you sit in a hotel room alone. And there's no way I'm taking you out again; my guilty conscience can't take that, and neither can your sprained ankle. So why not celebrate P2 here, just you and I, hm?" he says in a low tone.
Immediately, at this suggestion, you blush. "Oh, uh, Lando... I, uh... I don't know if I'm ready for something... you know... for that... right now... Not yet... You know, it's too early for me in our relationsh-"
Lando suddenly breaks into laughter again. Oh, that sweet, silly sound. "Y/n! My God, what a dirty mind you have! I wasn't thinking that at all-!"
"You, Lando Norris, are saying I have a dirty mind?! I bet you really are his doppelganger!"
He crosses his arms. "Only reason why I wouldn't suggest that is because I know you're not ready. Which is more than one hundred percent fine with me. I wasn't even thinking about that, anyway."
"What were you thinking, then?"
He smiles with his eyes. "Well, let's both get ready for bed," he begins pulling his shirt off over his head as you absolutely bear your eyes into him, "And once we're both ready, I'll meet you back... here...?" His confused face slowly turns to one of teasing nature when he sees your eyes trained intently on his bare chest. His perfectly toned abs. His perfectly shaped pecs. His strong, straight, tan back. The little brown beauty marks sprinkled all over his torso. You would love to kiss every single one of them. "Why don't you take a picture?" he smirks stupidly. "That way, it'll last longer."
"Oh, shut up," you murmur, licking your lips as you tear your eyes away from his bare middle. "You can shower first," you murmur.
Once you're both all clean and ready, you snuggle up under the blankets, only to find your arm brushing against Lando's bare skin.
You feel your heart flutter as you murmur, "Are you not wearing a shirt just to bother me?"
"What, no," Lando says, overly innocently. "I never wear a shirt to bed. Just like I'm sure you never wear a bra...?"
If you were embarrassed before, now it's ten times worse. You specifically decided to wear a bra, to avoid... that. And now here Lando is, bringing it up like it's the weather.
"Uh..." you begin.
"Anyway!" Lando says, apparently seeing the vaguely panicked look in your eyes. "Wanna just watch a show or something?"
"Yeah," you nod. "That sounds good."
Lando turns some stupid show on his laptop, and as you snuggle and it gets later, you become more relaxed. You lean your head on Lando's shoulder as he plays with strands of your smooth, wet, dark hair. Your hands begin softly feeling his chest, just drawing circles and feeling the shapes of his abs.
Everyday, you seem to get to know Lando more and more- inside and out.
He sighs, contented, and murmurs sleepily, "That feels nice."
You smile, nuzzling into him.
"I saw Barcelona and Madrid played today," he comments as your fingers continue stroking the abs under Lando's soft skin.
"Yeah... El Clásico..."
"You don't sound as excited as I thought you would. I thought you were big on Madrid."
"Yeah, I am... Just having been keeping up with La Liga lately, I guess."
"Hm... Well, would you like it if I could find some way to watch the game...?"
You smile softly. "Hm. Yeah, maybe that wouldn't be so bad..."
Lando nods, and soon, you're cuddled up with your boyfriend, watching your favorite team play against FC Barcelona/your ex's team.
It feels weird, but you like it.
You decide your bra isn't very comfy and slip it off under your shirt before tossing it across the room.
"You're finally over being embarrassed with me?" Lando teases.
You smile softly, shutting your eyes. "At least for now. Too sleepy to care."
He smiles back. "You're cute when you're sleepy. Cuter."
Soon, though, Lando is gently shaking you, murmuring, "Look. Your ex was subbed on."
"Hmmm? What about Fer?" you murmur with a yawn. You must have dozed off for a bit.
"Fer?" Lando asks, his nose scrunching up. "Yeah, Ferran Torres."
Your eyes flutter open to see your ex-boyfriend running onto the pitch. You feel a sudden, unexpected pang in your chest. When you and Ferran were still together, you watched him do that so many time, with a sense of pride and excitement.
But now, you don't feel much at all. It's no different from anyone else going out there to play.
But, like a train, memories of the past begin to hit you.
Going for walks with him. Cheering him on at finals. Hanging out with his teammates. Working out with him. Bringing him to the Barcelona Grand Prix. Exchanging gifts on birthdays and holidays.
Just all the little things you used to do.
Like snuggling with each other on late nights after Barcelona won.
Not unlike what you and Lando are doing right now.
Suddenly Lando's arm around you tightens, and he says, "You okay?"
"I- yeah..."
Lando leans forward to see you face. You try to turn it away. Lando doesn't let you.
You stare into each other's eyes.
"You're crying," he states softly.
"I guess..." you trail off, averting your eyes.
There's a few beats of silence before Lando states again, "You still miss him."
"I guess..." you repeat. "But... I'm happy to be with you... it just all happened so quick... It's a lot for me... I'm mostly over it- over him- by now, but sometimes things just... make me start to think. Reminsce of what's not anymore."
Lando slowly nods, and begins rubbing your shoulder. "I- Alright..."
"But don't worry. I'm way more happy to be with you right now than sad to not be with Ferran any longer."
"You're sure?" the Brit asks tentatively.
You nod, leaning into him once more. "I'm sure. One hundred and one percent."
"Hey, Lando," you grin giddily before the Miami Grand Prix. "Just drive your best out there, okay? Good luck, baby." You give him a high-five. You can sense he wants to give you a hug, but painfully knows he can't because of the ever-watching cameras and eyes all around you.
But he leans in close, until you can practically feel his breath on your face, and says softly, in just about the most heart-wrenching-in-a-good-way low voice, "Oh, baby... I'm going to go out there and win that race. For you."
"Oh, stop being such a romantic. You're going to make me cry."
He leans in, about to kiss your cheek, but you gently push him off, saying, "You better get going, Lan! Race is going to start soon!"
"Right! Bye bye, bab-"
"BYE!" you scream to overpower his stupid 'baby girl.'
And before you can even blink twice, it seems-
It's lights out....
And away we go!
"LANDO! FUCKIN'! NORRIS!" you scream as soon as you see him, running to him as fast as you can. Your eyes threaten to fill over their brims with tears as you leap into Lando's arms, immediately forgetting about hiding your relationship.
Right now, that just seems too silly to care about. It doesn't matter enough.
Your boyfriend is a race winner.
The racer winner!
He leans back with the most joyful, most romantic, most adrenaline filled, most glorious look in his eyes as they search yours. His hand slowly strokes your cheeks as he purrs, "I told you I would win it for you, didn't I?"
"Lando-" you begin in excitement, but are interrupted by Lando's lips on yours, aggressively, passionately leaning into yours, flooding all his emotions into you, sharing his dream coming true with you.
For some reason, you begin to cry. Flows of tears, flooding down your cheeks as you kiss each other, and your heart pounds at a million kilometres an hour. His hands grip your waist tight, and the moment-
It all seems so perfect.
Right now, you don't care about the fact it was supposed to be secret. You don't care about what Carlos will think or say or do, or what fans on social media will post. None of it matters.
In this moment, the only two people that matter are you and Lando, in a symphony of amorousness, standing on the top of the world.
In this moment, you and Lando, both in sync, know this is the right time. Though it's been merely three months of being in a real, serious relationship, it feels like several lifetimes.
You don't care about the shock of other people, or the cameras flashing and clicking and filming.
All the sudden, you're proud of it.
You want everyone to know, no matter how they'll react, that you're Lando's, and Lando is yours.
When you finally break away from each other, Lando's smile remains as he gazes into your eyes.
"Are you crying too?" you giggle softly as you spot a glint in his eyes.
"What? Me, crying? No, I'm not crying! Of course I'm not crying!" he says teasingly, hastily wiping at his eye with his thumb. "You're the one crying! But anyway-" He slips the papaya McLaren cap off his head and plops it on yours, saying, "Won't be needing this for the top step. Besides," he smirks, leaning in closer. "Enough with all this Ferrari stuff. I think it's finally time for you to admit: Papaya looks best on you. Papaya's your color."
As you watch him jog off after that, stunned, you feel pleased.
Finally, for once, content.
That's right. My color isn't white, or blaugrana. It's not Ferrari's red, either.
I'm a papaya girl.
His papaya girl.
412 notes · View notes
woso-dreamzzz · 6 months
Text
Bonding
Arsenal Women x Hardersson!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Bonding night with the Arsenal girls
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You're dressed in your special Auntie Stina Arsenal jersey as she assures your Morsa that everything is going to be okay.
Momma and Morsa have a special awards night thing that they have to make an appearance at so Auntie Stina is babysitting you. Your usual babysitters in Zećira and Jessie are busy tonight too so Auntie Stina gets to take you to Arsenal bonding night.
You're very excited and it's all you've been thinking about all week.
Momma and Morsa say goodbye to you and you instantly run up to Stina's car so she can get you clipped in and you can get to Captain Kim's house faster.
"Look who it is!"
Katie's waiting for you both by the door and she swings you up easily onto her hip and tugs at your jersey teasingly.
"A true gunner in the making! You'll play for us when you're older, right?"
You nod. "Yes!"
"Even if your mams want you to play for Chelsea?"
You pull a face, sticking out your tongue. "Not-Wolfsburg sucks!"
Katie laughs, delighted, as she gives you a high five. "That sounds right." She lets you climb down and scarper inside, toeing off your shoes in the entrance hall before following the sounds of music and talking further inside the house.
"Hi, Captain Kim!" You say when you see her," What's happenin'?"
Captain Kim laughs, her hand coming to rest of your shoulder as Jen wrestles with Beth on the floor.
"They're just being silly," She tells you," And trying to knock all of my things on the floor."
As if to prove the point, Beth crashes into a little side table with an ornamental vase wobbles precariously as she launches herself straight back at Jen.
"You should tell them off," You say," That's what my Morsa does when Erin and Guro are being silly in a dangerous way. She's the Captain like you're the Captain so you can tell them off if you want."
Kim laughs slightly. "That's a good idea. Captains do get to tell people off. Do you want to help me?"
"I'm not a captain though."
"But you are the big boss. I think that means you've got some captain powers too."
"Really?"
She nods. "Really."
"Okay!"
Captain Kim leads you over to where Beth and Jen are still wrestling. She whistles, shrill and high pitched and exactly the one Morsa uses when she needs to get Erin and Guro's attention.
"Stop wrestling in my house!" She orders before lightly nudging you.
"Yeah!" You say," 'Cause you're going to break something and then Captain Kim is going to make you do laps!"
From behind you, Katie chuckles.
"Yeah, you two!" She teases," Listen to Kim and the big boss!"
"Yeah!" You agree, stamping your foot so they know you're serious.
"Sorry, y/n," Jen laughs," We'll stop."
"Good," You say," Or else you'll have to run laps tomorrow."
You shriek as you're lifted into someone's arms. You're flipped upside down as Leah's hands attack your sides.
"Look at you!" She laughs as you shriek and try to wiggle away. "Little captain in the making!"
"My mummies are captains!" You say when she finally puts you the right way up.
"You've got it in your blood!" Leah proclaims, tickling your sides again," Me and Kim'll make you into a proper captain though! Arsenal style, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
You think Arsenal bonding night is a lot of fun.
Katie helps you make a pizza where you put your pepperoni slices in a crude rendition of the Arsenal badge and she takes lots of pictures of you winning at Twister.
You end up sat between Auntie Stina and Beth for dinner as Auntie Lina selects a movie for you all to watch while you eat.
"Beth?" You ask.
"Yeah?"
"Can we call Daan? I miss her at Arsenal."
Beth laughs, already digging out her phone. "I think quite a few fans would agree with you."
The phone rings a few times before Daan's face fills the screen. Daan is a very happy person, you think, because she's always smiling when she sees you. You smile too.
"Hey, y/n!" She says," What're you doing on Beth's phone?"
"Callin' you!" You answer," Auntie Stina brought me to bonding because my mummies are busy!"
"Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I beat Leah and Captain Kim at Twister! I got chocolate as a prize!"
Daan laughs. "Good! Keep them humble!"
You giggle too. "Is Lyon fun like Arsenal?" You ask.
"It's fun," Daan replies," But I'm still learning the language. I'm sure it'll be more fun when I can speak French properly."
You nod wisely. "That's like when I came from Germany. I only knew a little English so I had to learn so I could have fun."
"It's exactly like that," Daan says," Hey, who knows, maybe you'll have to learn French too when you're older."
You think about that for a moment. You know when you're older, you really want to play for Wolfsburg. Arsenal too and maybe Barcelona as well but you'd never really thought about Lyon. You already know German and English so having fun at Wolfsburg and Arsenal should be easy.
If you went to Barcelona then you would have to learn Spanish. If you went to Lyon then you would have to learn French.
Your Momma tells you that you're very good at languages. She says she's always impressed by how easily you pick it up. Sometimes, she calls you a little chameleon because you speak your English like you were born here rather than with an accent like she and Morsa do.
You don't think it'll be too difficult to learn French if you went to Lyon.
Daan stays on the call for a bit longer before promising to send you her Lyon jersey and you migrate from Beth and Auntie Stina to the floor with Leah and Katie.
You drag a blanket with you, tucking it around both of them like you do when you have sleepytime with Jessie and Niamh. The movie is still playing but you're a little tired so you lean heavily into Leah and kick you feet up into Katie's lap.
You yawn.
"You tired, kid?" Katie asks and you nod.
"Gonna finish the movie though."
Leah chuckles, the force of it rocking your whole body as she softly cards her fingers through your hair. "I'm sure you will."
You're out like a light before the second act begins.
590 notes · View notes
b14augrana · 4 months
Text
The Death Of You
The pursuit to being the greatest of all time comes above everything, including your health
Barça Femení x reader
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masterlist
Warnings: slight overshadowing of injury
A/N: edited this author’s note way too many times buttttttt im not making a pt 2 of this because its just a silly little blurb that’s been rotting in my drafts and thats i wanna say okay thanks enjooooyyyyy
“When you think of passion, you think of someone that does anything for their club, and that’s (Y/N). The blaugrana is everything to her, and it is a part of her. She puts the badge before herself, and all she emits, all they admire of her, everything she represents, is Barça.
(Y/N) is Barça, Barça is (Y/N)” — Mapi León.
For Barça, you would give your life. You have put your body on the line and taken the hits until your skin turns the colours of the jersey you truly believe you’ll die in.
It’s what your mother says will eventually kill you. Going down with the jersey, for the jersey, your love for the greatest club in the world coming before all. It’s proof, almost, that Barcelona is so great, it’s worth dying for.
But, the funny thing is, you hadn’t loved living in Barcelona growing up. In fact, you hated everything about it. It felt like an asylum or some sort of confinement where the only things left to stare at are the four walls you’re enclosed by, except, those four walls were littered with posters of men you constantly watched play at the stadium of your dreams, and the only thing that made staring at those four walls so much of a punishment is the fact you were a girl and there was no such thing as a woman footballer.
You had shitty friends to remind you of that every single time they caught you stopping in the street (though you don’t even stop, your foot just drags along the ground a bit slower than usual) just to take a closer look at a mural of some Barça legend.
You hated living in Barcelona because you had nobody on your side that believed there was a place for you or any other woman behind the huge, towering walls of Camp Nou.
Barcelona went from being an asylum to a garden that was nurtured with every match played and goal scored, a title or medal sprouting from the buds of every stem and bush.
You would die for Barcelona. Hell was worth living through, for Barcelona, just to feel whatever emotion devoured you when you step out to a full stadium in the famous blue and garnet.
You want to be the best. That comes above everything — there is no point in devoting your life to something if you’re not going to be the best at it, and you had given more than what was required for Barça.
What you also want is to create a legacy not only for yourself, but the club as well, one title at a time. A legacy associated with winning, and being the greatest of all time. The last thing you need to implement this reputation? The Champions League.
You take in the stadium, the raindrop-covered grass, the noise. That headache inducing noise, caused by the record attendance in the stadium. The headache inducing noise that, when you focus on it, begins to become coherent and recognisable as the Barcelona anthem. With every step closer to the pitch, you find it harder to pay attention to anything around you, and the anxiety in your stomach is more apparent than ever before.
You kill the period of time between exiting the tunnel and finding your place on the field by warming up (or in other words, doing whatever you can to shake the nerves). You step out onto the pitch and feel the pinch of the cold wind which, for some reason, elicits an epiphany; the only thing separating you and that trophy is these 90 minutes.
Those 90 minutes drag on. Pass after pass, unsuccessful dribble after unsuccessful dribble, you’re not getting any closer to the goal but you can’t feel disheartened or unmotivated because all you have is 90 minutes. Everything can change in 90 minutes.
Everything does change. You don’t know how it happened, or who passed you the ball, or whether you even called for it, but you had it and you were moving quickly with it. Managing to glide past Renard, leaving her behind you to grapple at your jersey hopelessly, you find yourself up against Endler on your own.
Although there are 20 other players on the pitch, discarded behind you, it feels like it’s just you and Endler in an empty stadium. The goal looks bigger than it should be as your foot swings down onto the ball, and the raucous noise of the stadium can only intensify when the ball just misses the tip of Endler’s glove and meets the back of the net.
It is hard to ignore the unfamiliar discomfort in your knee, but you do it anyways. You run off to celebrate and don’t pay it another thought. You don’t mention it to anyone amidst the celebrations because how could you possibly ruin this moment, and it’s basically gone by the time you return to the midfield.
For a moment, there's hope. Your goal sparks new light into the eyes of your teammates. One golden boot shines brighter than a golden glove and there's a connection between your foot and the ball that just makes sense, and it's put away in the back of the net.
But when the ball starts rolling again and it meets the feet of Van de Donk, you realise 1 goal isn't enough.
No, it's like hanging off the edge of a cliff, fingers clawing for whatever jagged edge of a rock they can reach, clinging onto the little thing you have keeping you up. But with every minute, every intercepted pass, missed or deflected shots, the cliffside is crumbling.
Lyon is an exceptional team. That's why they manage to put one past Sandra, and you're back to square one. Your mind, drunk on pride, pushes you to do more, to give more. Your body feels like it can't possibly give anything more, yet you still run up and down the pitch without slowing down once and you throw yourself at the ball every time you find the opportunity.
It’s what your mother says will eventually kill you.
So it does, internally. When the final whistle pierces your ears and the minority of Lyon fans in the crowd burst into cheers, it kills you, because you would die for this club and it hurts to come so close but fall short.
The winning legacy you were so close to completing, was now tainted by your failure to actually win.
Your knee also hurts. A lot.
You lie down on the pitch, its soggy and uneven surface being the only comfort you have in this place where everywhere you look, there are reminders that you’re not good enough. The more you think about all the sacrifices and things you put on the line for this title, you wonder, ‘When’s it gonna be my turn?’
Disappointed fans filing out of the exits, your teammates surrounding you trying to hold in their tears, the dancing and celebrating from Lyon.
The sound of sniffles can be heard from beside you, and you roll over to see Mapi, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks dusted with patches of red.
As you line up to receive your medal, you don’t even want to wear it. Silver will never be better than gold, there’s nothing good about being second to best, being outperformed is nothing to be proud of. But you still keep the medal on.
You hang your head and look away from the winner’s stage, because your heart is too sore to take in the fact that would’ve, could’ve, should’ve been you.
‘When’s it gonna be my turn?’
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