#i have several mash fics i'm working on and one of them is gonna have major houlihan become a vampire. because why the hell not

[naturalbornlosers]

once i have the attention span i guess i’m getting into m*a*s*h* ? so many asterisks… your fevered blogging has intrigued me. also im just glad to see a show where people look like people and not a magazine cover.

omg mutual PLEASE get into M*A*S*H with me . i swear it's worth it.

i will say, in my opinion i think that season 1 can be iffy at points (it's still good, but it's the kind of "iffy" where it feels like the writers were truly settling into this show, plus changes were happening in this period of the show which either would carry on through the rest of the series or be dropped permanently) up until season 1, episode 17 "sometimes you hear the bullet", which is imo where it starts to get the style it has throughout the rest of the series. early season 1 is a lot more comedic with dramatic moments, whereas where i am (almost to season 8) leans more often into the drama and the real tragedy of the position of the characters. the entire thing is such a solid work of historical fiction - based on a novel series, which in of itself was based on the author's actual experiences as a doctor at a MASH unit in the korean war - and the characters will drive you insane.

also, ditto, it's amazing to watch a show where no one really looks like a magazine cover. like don't get me wrong, many of the people on the show are drop-dead handsome/gorgeous, but they still look like real people you'd see at the grocery store, and that was part of the appeal for me, too!

sorry for the ramble HAJKHGJDFHJKGJKFHDGH but pls omg, if you ever find the time/energy and get into it, i am always down to chat abt this show!

[onbearfeet]

Kat watches Moon Knight

Okay, so with the encouragement of several people on here and the emotional support of my roommate, I have finally (in February 2024) started watching Moon Knight, a show whose basic concept scares the shit out of me.

Context: I had an adopted older brother with DID. Note that I said "had". That's past tense because life treated him so appallingly poorly that he died (horribly, in prison) when I was 19. Part of that abuse was enabled by pop-culture depictions of DID in the 1980s and 90s that convinced everyone who knew about his condition (including the court system) that he was a walking time bomb.

One of my earliest memories is of my brother as a young adult, playing Super Mario Bros with my toddler self. Another is of him patiently teaching me how to make friends with a large dog. I never met any of his alters, afaik; I was small and cute and safe for him to be himself with, so he probably didn't need them around me. He was a profoundly gentle man when he was allowed, and it hurt like hell to see him turned into a monster in movies and on TV. I've turned off a lot of "psychological thrillers" in sorrow and disgust.

Ironically, I loved Moon Knight comics as a kid in the 90s, BEFORE he was retconned to have DID circa the mid-2000s. Because those comics came out right after my brother died in 2002 and leaned HARD into making people with DID seem like violently unstable monsters (for reference, see the cover of Moon Knight: God and Country), I stopped reading them around 2008, when I couldn't take being poked in the trauma by a comfort character anymore.

But I do love Werewolf By Night, and there's been a lot of good fic mashing Jack up with Moon Knight without dehumanizing anyone, and several people have encouraged me to try the show. So this post will be a place for my thoughts as I try to work my way through with my Essential Editions in one hand and my memories of my brother in the other. I'll add to it as I watch.

If this entertains the Moon Knight fandom or provides useful fic reference, so be it. Just don't be jerks on my post.

Also, anyone who chooses to be shitty about my brother will be eaten by bears. I don't make the rules.

Episode 1

Okay, we open with Steven as our POV character, and he's...convinced he's a sleepwalker. All right, not terrible. Steven is now a bumbling nerd, which is probably an improvement; good luck making a billionaire playboy sympathetic in the 2020s. Jake would be the logical everyman POV from the comics, but I understand from fic that he's got a different role now. I'm confused about the accent, but it's only episode 1, and Steven clearly doesn't yet know who Khonshu is, or that Marc exists, so obviously there's a ways to go here. (Is Marc ... undercover inside Steven? Ugh, this is a trope I have seen and do not like.)

Did Marc kill Steven's fish? Did Khonshu kill Steven's fish? I'm baffled by the fish. Which is a nice break from the larger anxiety. I'm gonna try to worry more about the fish.

The bits with Steven losing time and finding himself in odd situations were distressingly close to the old tropes, but both of those happened to my brother, so I'm not going to bitch about them quite yet. I want to be as fair as I can.

Oh, hey, I recognize Harrow from the comics. What up, dude. How's the cult biz treating you?

The end of the episode, with the jackal thing chasing Steven into the bathroom, came RIGHT up to the line for me. I realized that what I was most afraid of was that the story would assign "good" and "bad" labels to the alters--make Steven the sweet, innocent one and Marc (or maybe Jake, I guess) the monstrous killer. The early flashes of Steven covered in blood didn't really help allay that anxiety. And now Marc is demanding that Steven let him have control in a pretty threatening manner. But so far, it seems like the contrast between Marc and Steven is one of competence--Marc is better at fighting and Steven is better at ... panicking? Unclear. At least Oscar Isaac is playing the protagonist, so his character(s) might remain sympathetic. Nobody has been monsterized quite yet.

I finished the episode with every muscle in my body locked up, waiting for the emotional punch in the face. But I did finish it, and I think I'm gonna try episode two.

[marley-manson]

I am grateful for your Mash Metas, your BJ ones for sure. They are much more closer to what I think of him, and I was starting to think I was not understanding his character properly because I think he's mean to others, especially Hawkeye.

But I think it makes him more interesting. Hawkeye's best friend who doesn't like him, but wants to be liked by him. He loves Hawkeye, but he does not like him. Do you think this would eventually bother Hawkeye? After the war when he thinks about it? Or would he never notice it?

Thank you, I'm glad you've been enjoying my takes! And thanks for your interest in my opinions!

Ohhhh man I love how you put that, doesn't like him but wants to be liked by him, loves him but doesn't like him, it's so good. Now that's the kind of interesting dynamic I'd read 1000 fics about.

This got long lol so it's under a cut

To be perfectly fair I think I probably go a step beyond what the writers intended wrt the flaws in BJ and his friendship with Hawkeye. I think we have clear demonstrations of resentment, taking his negative feelings out on Hawkeye, passive aggression, tearing Hawkeye down to build himself up, etc, but I think we're meant to take most of it in good comedic fun, and sympathize with BJ even when the show's painting him as genuinely cruel, because he's sad and misses his family etc. This behaviour isn't really meant to significantly darken the vibe of their friendship, probably.

But yk, to me it does lol, I don't think the writing/acting threaded the needle successfully. Maybe it would've worked for me if I saw more chemistry between Hawk and BJ, idk. But yeah the way you describe them is def the impression I get, and that's the headcanony angle I'm gonna discuss them from here. Basically BJ and Hawkeye's friendship being uneven bc Hawkeye genuinely likes BJ while BJ usually likes being around Hawkeye and does love him in a way, but dislikes/resents a lot of things about him, and shows it in cruel ways.

So to actually answer your question... idk lol. I mean I can see a few possibilities. Like I feel like it does bother Hawkeye in canon a little, but not enough to cause an actual rift. Like, reasserting himself once after one of BJ's intense prank schemes by mildly revenge-pranking BJ fixes things for him. When they argue, they eventually just agree to stop arguing without resolving anything because they're stuck together and they need each other. In Wheelers and Dealers he's alternately exasperated with BJ and soothingly placating, and it's Margaret who has to come in and yell some sense into him. In Heroes Hawkeye goes out of his way to try to make BJ feel better after several jealous digs BJ makes at his expense, by trying to get some limelight on him. He's vocally upset about the punch in Period of Adjustment but he's ready to be a shoulder to lean on as soon as BJ apologizes. In Picture This he drops the petty fight instantly when he's led to believe that BJ needs his support. He often gets upset with BJ, but never truly puts his foot down and always capitulates.

So yeah I get the vibe that Hawkeye knows that their friendship is uneven and he gives a lot more than he gets, and that BJ resents him in a lot of ways and lashes out because of it. Plus in addition to how he responds to a lot of BJ's bullshit, he also just generally is pretty emotionally intelligent and tends to understand people imo.

And I don't think Hawkeye puts up with it because he lacks self esteem and doesn't think he deserves better, I think it's because a) he's empathetic and sympathizes with BJ and the war's effect on him and b) he doesn't have much of a choice but to put up with the negative side of their friendship, because he relies on that friendship too much. Plus I think while he has a mostly realistic view of himself, he does see himself as a little more more resilient and capable than other people, and therefore willing to put up with more. Like to an extent I almost see him tolerating BJ's lashing out as indulging him? Like, 'okay get it out of your system, I can handle it.' I don't have concrete reasoning for this lol, but it's mainly his behaviour in episodes like Dr Pierce Mr Hyde or Dreams where he doesn't sleep because he's the best surgeon and he's needed, even while sending others off for breaks, combined with always being a shoulder for BJ to lean on no matter how shitty he's been (eg Period of Adjustment, GFA), and like, the end of Fallen Idol lol where he basically says 'whatever pedestalize me i guess, i can take it.' And the way he never gives as good as he gets in the prank episodes, which narratively is because the show likes it when Hawk is a victim, but lbr it makes sense if it's partly bc he knows BJ can dish it out but can't take it.

So I feel like post-war Hawkeye would be aware of BJ's weird contradictory feelings about him, because I like to think he's aware during the war, but he wouldn't really resent it? He'd probably still have fond memories of the friendship and he'd see it as kinda messed up but so was everything else while he was drafted and it was better than most aspects of living in a war zone. He knows they were stuck together and probably wouldn't have been friends outside the war, and they made the best of it. And if BJ kind of sucked at holding his end up, well, the war was hard on him and Hawkeye sympathizes. I don't think he'd ever really frame it like, "Hey wait, I was the one who had a breakdown actually, so why was I BJ's emotional support and punching bag combined?" I think he's just automatically very tuned into other people's pain - not to the extent of ignoring his own, but in a way that's like, he'd rather help someone else than wallow in his own misery.

But if he saw BJ again post-war for any length of time and BJ fell back into those old patterns, I don't think he'd put up with it now. If BJ was like, going through a messy divorce or something he'd be sympathetic and probably give BJ some leeway, but he doesn't need him now, yk? He'd walk away if he needed to, imo. I don't imagine him giving a whole cathartic speech to BJ about toxic friendships exactly lol, but I think he'd say something about how they're not in Korea anymore and BJ needs to deal with his shit constructively or they can go their separate ways.

Note that my post-war take on Hawkeye is that he's happy, largely mentally healthy, and has a big network of friends. If he's miserable and isolated and borderline suicidal like in a lot of fanon maybe then they could fall right back into weird toxic vibes and Hawkeye would be like 'w/e this might as well happen.' But honestly I don't really vibe with that version of Hawkeye. Considering how many friends he made while falling apart in a warzone I think there's about a hundred percent chance he has a good support network of people when he's back home.

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

I'm so intrigued by JRPG-style from the WIP game!!! Would love to know more about it

(unrelated to the WIP game but: I really enjoyed reading both 'engrave the silhouette of you' and 'thus, friends absent speak' after seeing them linked on the WIP game post! Good epistolary tomarry fics hold my heart, and amnesia + a whole relationship with your fated nemesis that you're left to grapple with (also, losing a WHOLE decade!) is such a fantastic idea that you've really breathed life into. Thank you for writing and posting, both have gone straight to my bookmarks 👀).

Oh goodness, thank you so much @known-concepts!! I'm so glad you enjoyed those two fics ヽ(；▽；)ノ

So. JRPG-style is me mashing my love for late 90s and 00s JRPGS (especially the Tales of series) with the HP universe. I've been working on plotting it out for a couple months now and finally figured out a couple of the beats that were holding me up last week, so I'm hoping to make some progress on writing this one soon because I want to write this so badly.

Harry is the Chosen One, whose task is to reinforce the seals across the land keeping Voldemort contained. Except Dumbledore, who was involved with the last pilgrimage several decades ago, has found a way to destroy Voldemort once and for all -- by releasing him.

Featuring quirky adventures, HP plot points, more worldbuilding than I've ever done before, and a hefty dose of tomarrymort for flavour, and that's where this one is heading. Probably not the most original idea, but I'm gonna have fun with it!

Thank you for asking! ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

Edit: Since I don't have a snippet of JRPG-style to post yet, here's a snippet from the next chapter of "engrave the silhouette of you":

Now that he’s speaking with Voldemort, and he’s seen how the man looks at him and reacts to him, it is impossible to deny how deeply Voldemort feels for him. And it’s a very Voldemort concept of love: obsessive, heavy, portentous – consuming. It should be stifling, but to Harry it feels like warmth and devotion. He’s been alone and unloved for so long, it makes a grim kind of sense that he’d gravitate towards someone whose affection for him is so undeniable. There is one thing Harry has wanted for as long as he can remember. More than food, more than comfort, Harry wished for someone to love him. Dumbledore told him that his mother’s love for him was so great he survived the killing curse, but Harry’s only memory of her is her dying moments, and being told someone loves you is rather cold comfort. The magical world’s love for him due to Voldemort’s defeat has always been more of an oppressive burden than something from which to draw strength. But Voldemort loves him. To an almost unhealthy degree, it seems.

And here's a snippet I may or may not use in the fic, but it's amusing and I want to share:

Voldemort pulls back from the kiss, and Harry's so dazed it takes a good five seconds for him to understand what's happened and try to correct it. The other man is not co-operating. “Harry, you need to tell me to stop,” he pants. “What? Why would I do that? That’s a terrible idea–” “Harry–” Voldemort’s voice is decidedly strained, breaking on Harry’s name. “Get back here,” Harry demands, trying to pull the other man’s face back to his. “We shouldn’t–” “Since when do you care about ‘shouldn’t?’” He’s so focused on getting back to kissing that his mouth runs away with him. “You’ve had a lot of awful ideas, and that’s one of them, who lets you run a country–” Voldemort drops his head to Harry’s shoulder, and he starts to shake. Harry’s suddenly concerned he broke the other man. Surely he hasn’t made Voldemort cry…? Ah, no, Voldemort is laughing. Probably at him.