#i have normal kuroda emotions i promise

[mo-ok]

kuroda has big "bullied nerd that took up martial arts to defend himself" vibes and it gives him a real nice distinct flavour amongst other similar smart ass type characters

(gonna go on a bit of a kuroda rant dont mind me)

he's smart and he knows it and he wants to make sure YOU know it too. he's not above telling you that he thinks you're stupid

type of guy that got beat up as a kid and came back at them with the "i'll be ur boss one day" line which would then lead to him getting his ass beat all over again

type of guy that you're glad is as well adjusted as he is cause oh boy could he be so so much more annoying if he wanted to be (if we go along with the "picked up martial arts to fight his bullies" headcanon, its easy to see how he would have found structure and community and picked up constructive coping skills - keeping him from becoming a truly insufferable loner type guy)

he's skeptical and self sufficient to a fault and often kinda rude or cold bUT THAT BEING SAID

he's very righteous and fiercely protective of the people he cares about, so instead of coming across as a dickhead he ends up feeling like a bullied kid that keeps himself at arms length until he knows you're safe to be around

his emotions very rarely get the better of him, and the only times they do are BECAUSE he's so damn protective (he IS however very susceptible to falling into the cheeky wanker trap)

he's not scared to throw himself into danger but he's level headed enough to not rush in blindly. failure isnt an option for him, he's got too much to prove and too much to lose

he's kinda halfway between kiyama denziyellow and hikari toq4 am i making any kind of sense here

hhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkuroda

[sunlightfeeling]

so..... how did you get into smap, anyway? (i would like to hear the origin story)

hiii anon! i would love to tell this story!!

first the elevator pitch version:

like a lot of more recent fans (i.e. post-JE launch), i was a victim (affectionate) of the RGG to SMAP pipeline

…bit of a boring story, and honestly isn’t a real indication of how I got to have this brain (affectionate, i love having five old men stewing in my brain all hours of the day 👍😬)

sooo im going to tell the story of how the pipeline hit me so hard 😄

the real origin goes back to 2021…

(im gonna make a cut for this story because this is gonna be long long - i promise this isn’t an exaggeration)

so back in 2021, i had an xbox one and game pass (side note: game pass is so worth it, actually fantastic)

and I found a series that I had never heard of…Yakuza

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hX9EomZwntU

sorry

anyway

downloaded Yakuza 0 and started it up

really dug the vibes, story, music, legitimately everything

then I reached Majima’s first chapter and ooooh the opening got me good

not too long after getting to this chapter, I was graciously gifted a ps5

and one of the first things i did was…

…impulsively buy every Yakuza release on ps4

…and the Judgments as soon as I realized they were under RGG’s umbrella

…after only playing like probably less than 10 hours of a prequel

(disclaimer: i do not mean to romanticize/minimize impulse purchasing; I’m more trying to give an accurate image of how deeply invested I got in a series that essentially sent me on my path; i was/am very fortunate and cognizant of how lucky i am to be able to cover/shield myself from consequences of my actions - so to speak lol)

probably six-ish months and 2 hiatuses later, I reached Y6

and i dont know if it was because the game was the last Kiryu game (at the time) and I was getting all emotional, or if it was because the likeness to Kuroda was pretty…

<stares at pictures of Y6 Kiryu way too long>

…preeeetty 🫠

i started developing (what knowing what i know now call) a hyperfixation on not just Y6 but also Kuroda Takaya lol

basically listened to his music whenever I could/on repeat; Y6 was the only thing I wanted to spend my free time playing; etc etc etc

(for reasons, this fixation actually led me to consider my possible neurodivergence; I wonder why 🤔..🥲)

finish Y6 and become baseline-which-isnt-really-baseline normal about Yakuza when I play LAD7

but then….

“Alex, stop hyperlinking sound effects”

(affectionate)

yeahhh it’s Judgey Time

okay so ive mentioned in tags somewhere but i actually didnt have high hopes for Judgment

at all

the cover just didn’t do anything for me at all…

…and i thought the protagonist was ugly 💀

(im actually genuinely serious, this isn’t me “not like the other girls”ing; i vividly recall looking at the cover when it was about time for me to start playing it and whining to my then-bf that I wasn’t sure I was gonna like it cuz the guy looks really weird 🤣)

but i booted it up and right when Yagami shows off his badge in the prologue

girl

giiiiiirl

I didn’t realize at the time but the seed had been planted and baby that beanstalk grew

Halloween 2022 (and I only know this date for a fact because I memorialized it texting then-bf about it) is the day I decided to look up who this guy really was

I can’t recall what made me finally look him up, whether lurking on the Yakuza subreddit or just something in the game, I dunno

i shared it once but I’ll share it anytime i can…

^^ this was my first Kimura photo

the first one I actually paid more than just a passing glance at anyway……

…i finished judgment in like two/three weeks [and not in a rushed playthrough by any means - getting all the cats, doing all the side cases/romance, etc.] (have a text trail of me going into the finale and date stamp is p exactly two weeks from Halloween 🥲)

started lost judgment immediately because i have texts days after this bitching about dropping money on the dlc before even starting it lol (again: not recommending/romanticizing; just giving perspective on how active my brain was about RGG/Kimura already)

now this…..this is where my timeline gets fuzzy

because i cant really remember how fast i beat lj before starting his dramas

or if maybe i started them before even finishing the game

skipping ahead to January 2023 and I’ve definitely wrapped lj by this point

and have watched a fair amount of kimura dramas (i genuinely cant give a number tho 😭)

around this point, ive determined that im fairly confident in being audhd

and i personally would have described kimura as a combined special interest-hyperfixation at this point (because the intensity would ebb and flow in a way)

started collecting things, starting with his albums and his live recordings (and eventually a lot lot more [I’ll get back to scanning consistently eventually I promise lol])

the defining moment to when I finally crossed from Kimura to SMAP…

…was actually watching Go with the Flow

I had heard bits of SMAP, but, as many unfortunately discover, accessibility to their music is…..well it’s just not there lol

I even got YouTube Music because I found playlists of SMAP performances and could just listen to them while I was working or driving

not that I could really hear them all that well since they were all live performances w screaming or muffled audio/crunchy audio/remixes/etc etc etc

(except for pams seigi shoutout to pams seigi [sorry goro 😔; also i linked that specific one for the tags but please look in the reblogs for a diff version of seigi that they did because it’s ridiculously good])

On Go with the Flow, Kimura performs “Style” which made me go on basically a witch-hunt to find the song since it wasn’t an album track and I didn’t know SMAP’s discography

Eventually found out it was SMAP (Kimura solo on s.m.a.p specifically) and decided that I actually really needed to listen to SMAP

aaaaaand I did ☺️

and then I found Jes yeah no I definitely didn’t

and…that is my SMAP origin story

[kaoarika]

*internally screaming*

It was 4 AM when I started writing this, I attempted to be a good and patient woman to NOT use the internet or see twitter for spoilers or the summary of the BB’s 2nd single Drama Track and I’m still in a whole mess of emotions because I read it after midnight, and it mildly ruined my night (at least not the whole day).

I just want to go back to the days where we all thought that the BBs were the most normal bunch of the original 4 divisions. 

So, uhm... thanks... I hate it :)

In all seriousness, though... spoilers ahead!

There’s LOTS I want to unload right here. From the way King Record releases the lore/info/canon, that leaves not too much into imagination just when they decide to dump EVERYTHING in just a couple of weeks from release from one thing (i.e. manga) to another (i.e. single/album releases).

It’s not only about the fact that it was obvious that Amayado was the Yamada’s dad, once the hints were clear as the day as info was revealed (i.e. Kuroda Takaya was asked in a recent interview about how he was cast as Amayado, one of the things he responded was that the staff gave on detail for his character as “someone who may be the ‘final boss’ and ‘the father of someone’”, or the lyrics from his own song (theorized to be responses for the BBs solos, music PRETTY well inspired by “Ore ga Ichiro”). I mean, come on.

I feel angry at this because, from the looks of it, there’s lots of sh*t that the Yamadas went through when they were younger, and the fact that they were some of the children victims affected by the WWIII thing, and the probability that Amayado (as if he deserves to be called by his name or real last name, lmao) wasn’t the “father of the year” either in the past, and the fact that he can... easily pay Jiro and Saburo a visit to... what? to force them to be stronger, to know their potential, to them betraying Ichiro...? 

Also, dude here is still mysterious as hell, you know... he is DEFINITELY pulling strings behind the scenes, he might have his own interests (and using CW for his own purposes)... and it makes me wonder more about Ichiro and his siblings... what I’m basically saying is that, the heterochromia doesn’t sound more as a “joke”, or for simple aesthetic character design purposes to me, anymore (?) (EDIT - if you go to Amayado’s profile in the official webpage, the subtlety isn’t subtle anymore, and you can see he also has heterochromia, HOWEVER... *insert thinking emoji here*).  “Father of the year”, right here. Ichiro did what he did (lying, more lying) because he wanted to give his brothers a better life... Amayado might be “looking after” them at a distance, but provoking them was such a dirty trick :))).

...The thing about Nemu... I don’t like it, lol. It was SO eventually going to happen that she was going to be recruited to be part of Central Ward in one way or another (it was also somewhat of a popular...? theory I saw back when she was introduced last year)... the last 2 chapters of the BTB manga give the perfect set up about it, actually (as it was ALL PLANNED ALONG): Nemu doesn’t like the way her brother acts and her views of unneeded violence are also pretty clear... heck, it definitely caught Ramuda’s attention, too. 

Now, the thing is... we don’t know if either Nemu is in there in good faith (like, for real, Party of Words seems to have good intentions on the surface, but we all KNOW that below it, it isn’t like that... I mean, if they would give me benefits -as a woman- and promises that the world “might change to a better place”, I MIGHT have wanted to work with them, too)... or that there’s a slight possibility she was brainwashed to be in (also, 19 years old seems pretty young in my book to be working as “vice-chief of internal affairs”??).

There’s also a chance that Samatoki knows it because Jyuto might told him about it. There’s a chance he kept getting released (because he is a Yakuza), not because Jyuto is just doing it because he likes it (or the whole “corrupt cop” thing), but because it was an order from above him - hers, his younger sister. But he blames Ichiro, because the info he received might have been manipulated, too, from starters... that he might influenced her to be part of CW’s government (and Ichiro obvs didn’t know ANYTHING about it until... just this one track).

Speaking of brainwashing, I have been thinking about this for a while, and the introduction of the real-deal hypnosis mic might be it. Clearly, the whole bit about Sasara doesn’t remembering much about why he and Samatoki fought, because it wasn’t like him... doesn’t sound too farfetched to think that the hypmics might be involved in some way or form. May be even the “real deal” one, too (and Ramuda might know about it and he might have taken it and used it, but he simply acts like he doesn’t know ANYTHING). I don’t discard at all it might have been also a base on why TDD disbanded, too (UGH, it’s still hush, hush, lol... but tbh, with all this dump of events in one track... MORE was going to kill us????). We already know they affect the humans’ psyche, after all, manipulating wasn’t out of rule... especially manipulating the users’ emotions.

For one, I really liked that we did saw DTH interaction with other divisions members (even if it was Sasara & Rosho vs Ichiro, and Jiro & Saburo vs Amayado), even if it clears out that there’s really not much bad blood between Sasara and Ichiro (kinda implying it isn’t too much bad blood between Sasara and Samatoki, either), but it was very stressing seeing the whole “KIDS, DAD IS HOME” little act with the other party involved. Really hoping that Ichiro clarifies stuff between his brothers again, and... you know... have all three of them TALK about it.

Hey, King Record, can we have some chill in canon lore material? I know you basically gave the fandom 5 months to chill before DTH and BAT’s reveal, but... I ALSO WANT THE CHARACTERS TO CHILL A BIT? AND NOT JUST IN SONGS?!

Geez, I miss those innocent days from early 2018 quite a LOT.

This looks quite a mess and I accept responsibility for it, it’s juuuusssst... imagine trying to not scream at your cellphone in the middle of a family reunion... and keeping these thoughts for more than 3 hours.

[thecholericandsanguine]

TDA — The past two days have been a roller coaster of emotions for the both of us.

27.04.2021 — It began with our trip to Venice Piazza to do a photowalk and to have coffee. The supposedly photo walk was then abruptly cut short because a group of massage chair sales associates approached us. We were asked to relax and to try their products. It was a win for us — we got the relaxation we were asked to experience, and a loss for them as we did not fall for the catch behind their “free trial” scheme. HAHAHA! It was my first time to operate a DSLR, too. I’ve learned a trick or two from you. Yay! You really don’t need to try hard posing for the camera. The camera loves you.

We then had dinner at Ramen Kuroda. I was about to pay for our food when you came in right away from the restroom. Grrrrhhh! Thank you for the dinner mahal ko. I’ve been craving ramen since last week. Hahaha. We capped off the night with cups of hot chocolate from 7 11 and a quick stay in front of Wells Fargo for you to smoke and to enjoy the beauty of the pink moon. Everyday with you is not enough — I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Like what I’ve told you last night, I feel comfortable being silent for a long time when I’m with you — I feel rested and calm. I hope you feel the same way, too. There may be times when I have to touch your arm, back or shoulder — that is just because I want to break the silence and to make you feel that I’m still here. I’m just enjoying the serenity and peace I feel whenever I’m with you.

28.04.2021 — An unsatisfied answer to a surprise question stirred the pot for the entire day. I felt some thing was up when your mood changed this morning. And I appreciate you when you tried to put everything back on track when you made an attempt to carry out one of your promises — my tokwa’t baboy. It is particularly good. It tastes better than Max’s. Swear! It would make a good finger snack with a bottle of Smirnoff or Pink Moscato had it been served on a sizzling plate. Unbiased judgment and obectivity in mind, it is really good. My only feedback would be it lacked color — red bell pepper, green chili and onion leeks would have been great addition to your already mouth-watering dish. Oh, and I remember just now, your tokwa’t baboy is similar to the one being sold at Mercato and Banchetto! Waaaah! You’re good, Timothy Daniel Astrero. You’re good.

Later into the day, we went to Coffee Project again. We talked about the things we like and dislike about each other. Then GForest became our topic again. We exchanged ideas and explanations on how we both felt about snatching energies from my Contacts. He may be an ex but I’m not planning on getting back with him. Never. Not on afterlife, and definitely not in this lifetime. I just want to get even for the energies he got from me. Sorry if that made you feel a certain way, but believe me when I say there’s nothing more to it. We’re no longer in communication and I don’t plan on reconnecting with him again. Reasons? I’ve already told you earlier. This letter is not about anyone, but you and me. Don’t worry I won’t counterattack anymore should he get more energy from me.

I’m sorry if there were times when I was already raising my voice. I felt I’m not being listened to. You’re not your normal self. You were listening to fight back and retaliate. You were not your understanding self. It felt like I was talking to a thick wall. I cannot get any where near your heart. I even got teary-eyed explaining myself over and over again, where my explanations don’t go any where.

I’m being an easy-go-lucky-guy because I thought that’s what you wanted. I don’t want you to feel like I’m rushing you to settle with me. I am also enjoying the spontaneity of our relationship. You’re not the only one letting loose here. I’m enjoying this season of our relationship. I don’t get to be so obsessed with sticking to a specific plan and time on our dates. I just let everything happen as they come.

I also got teary-eyed (but this time, it’s because of glee) when I found out why you’ve been asking trivial questions about our relationship — I realized that I was the longest you’ve been with. You weren’t able to try it with your past romances because you thought you’re not to be taken seriously, that a man will only stay in your life for just a short while. Well, I’m not just any man — I am Bernard Joseph, Timothy Daniel’s current boyfriend and future husband. So, please, stop thinking that you’re not worthy of love, because you are. I may not be able to remember everything about our relationship, but my heart knows that it is capable of loving because of you. And I promise to try and remember everything from now on, because what matters to you, matters to me, too.

Mahal na mahal kita. I’m not going anywhere. 🤜🏻🤛🏻

💖🦂