#i have no idea how the hidden city works but we're just going to suspend pur disbelief

[psychologicalwarclaire]

10 for Rise. Gimme warcrimes duo >:]

Donnie didn't realize just how much Witchtown hated him until he wound up in front of the majority of the town at Hidden City court.

Witches of all kinds shouted over each other, listing crimes that Donnie most definitely had NOT committed.

"--trampled my mushrooms!"

"--released the kraken into our town fountain!"

"--totally demolished my self esteem!"

"--ATE MY CAT!!!"

"-- and destroyed the statue of our great founder!"

Okay that one he actually had done. In his defense, he hadn't meant to blast it with his tech bo. Defense, however, was something he was missing.

He glanced over at the judge. "I don't know how Hidden City trials work but isn't there supposed to be someone on my side? I mean, ahem, with my superb knowledge of everything I could absolutely provide my own defense but, uhm..." I don't really want to do this all on my own, he finished in his head.

All of Donnie's knowledge of courtroom proceedings came from a show he and Raph used to watch together. Raph loved watching the good guys solve crimes and fight bad guys. Donnie loved the mysteries and collection of evidence. Neither of them found the legal stuff super interesting, so they'd discussed the real life logistics of the crime (whether Donnie could commit it, whether Raph could catch him, and how they'd avoid getting caught) during those scenes. Donnie wished he'd payed more attention.

The doors flew open with a BANG.

"PURPLE TURTLE!" Casey Jones yelled. "I AM HERE TO PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE!"

Donnie blinked.

The jury all looked at each other like she'd made a brilliant point, muttering and nodding along.

The judge stroked his beard. "Good entrance. One point to the defense."

There were very few times that Donnie didn't have at least SOME idea of what was happening. Now was, unfortunately, one of those times.

Casey seemed to appear right next to him. "SO! Got yourself in trouble with Witchtown, eh?"

Flustered, Donnie could only think to say, "I didn't do it! Their accusations are entirely--"

"HEY! That's MY job!" She cleared her throat. "As I was saying, Witchtown is tough, but I'm tougher! You're lucky I took this case, otherwise you would already be rotting in Hidden City prison."

"I-- Casey why are you a lawyer in the Hidden City?" Things were spiraling entirely out of control.

Casey grinned her insane grin. "I love yelling, fighting, arguing, squabbling, debating, etc. Passing the exam was super easy, too! The laws here aren't any more complicated than the Foot Clan laws. You know, normally I'm on the offensive. But I am Hamato Clan now! I WILL NOT BETRAY MY CLAN!"

Donnie couldn't help but be impressed. "Huh. What a strangely fitting career choice for you."

"INDEED! And the lawyer to politician pipeline is extremely fast. I shall build my way up to becoming a mayor, senator, and eventually I shall be the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Junior has already signed on to be my vice president. Our slogan is either going to be: 'Jones and Jones: we'll feast on your bones' OR 'Vote Jones squared and your lives will be spared'. Catchy right?"

Donnie's mind was already buzzing with how his Genius Built brand could be expanded by personally knowing the president. "Casey," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder, "I will personally help fund your presidential campaign."

"Excellent! Now, we are in the middle of court so we can discuss that later."

"Oh yeah." Donnie had actually forgotten that he was literally on trial. Casey has the effect of being extremely distracting. "I need to tell you my alibi and--"

"Pffft, no need. What kind of court do you think this is?" Casey cracked her neck, and stretched her arms above her head.

The judge banged his gavel, which sent a shockwave across the room. The ground rumbled and the seats all slid back to open up a wide space in front of the stand. "We are now in session. Let prosecutor Gilby Gilbert of Witchtown and defendant Casey Jones of the Hamato Clan enter the ring."

The what?!

Gilby Gilbert, whom Donnie vaguely recognized from the Witchtown episode leapt into the ring. "That turtle is GUILTY!"

With a running leap, Casey Jones flipped into the ring and kicked him squarely in the chest. "Mr Hamato is more innocent than you and your corrupted, black market, embezzling town will ever be!"

The jury gasped.

"Flair, solid hit, AND a plot twist! Three more points to the defense!" the judge ruled.

Donnie was now very glad he had not been the one to plead (punch?) his own case.

"Turtle boy is against everything we stand for!" Gilby choked from inside a headlock.

"Since your treasury records show illegal trade with criminals AND many Witchtown officials who have been pocketing those funds, I'd say it's a good thing that Mr Hamato stands against you, you LOWLIFE!" Casey released the headlock, only to kick her opponent to the ground and curb stomp him.

Donnie was no longer worried.

In fact, as he watched Casey continue to kick Gilby (who had curled into a ball), he actually smiled. Perhaps the answer to science vs magic was brute force.

He had decided that when this trial was over and he and Casey had officially won, he was going to make her a fashionable Genius Built lawyer suit. He'd make it easily torn away to give her more points in style.

It was the least he could do.