#i have no gripe with ppl unfollowing me

[chrisbangs]

Okay, same anon. Your blog isn’t as personal as you think. You talk about Chan and SKZ too much for it to be personal. That’s why it’s annoying and I’m entitled to my opinion because you over do it. Side blog would probably be best but you don’t even see it as a problem

just because this is a fandom blog doesn't mean i cant talk abt my own stuff on here ?? this is still MY blog ?????? i am allowed to talk abt the things that happen in my life on my blog ?? just as you're entitled to your opinion i'm entitled to do whatever the fuck i want on my fucking blog!

and if it bugs you so much like i said before, feel free to idk unfollow ??? blacklist the tag ??? like ???????????

[arschbiene]

regarding that last post, Ik ppl aren't comfortable speaking out against their abusers and stuff but part of me does sometimes wish that info was made more public,especially if its more serious accusations of manipulation and abuse. I dont participate in discord servers and really only personally interract w very few smaller creators but if the section of the fandom im in harbors abusive and manipulative ppl i just idk would rly love to know. I hope what Im trying to say gets across right

Hi anon, 

I definitely get where you’re coming from, but exposing people is a really messy thing to do, especially if you are only aware of the situation secondhand.  Also reckless name and shaming doesn’t take into account people’s personal struggles, the fact that some of us are young and growing and will develop and then grow out of toxic behaviors. It really should be reserved for serious cases with well documented cases of fuckery like Nox. Like I said things have gotten better in the last two years. I’m personally way more comfortable than I used to be. I think rather than naming names, i can instead just quickly outline some specific online behavior that I personally consider warning signs

Artists/Ficcers Online: 

+ Public Dickery: Any sort of consistent and unjustified cruel/mean/rude/asshole/explosive comments towards their audience. People with Edgy “You guys are fucking stupid” personas usually carry that behavior into their private lives. There used to be a 2P blog that was notorious for this. I’m also wary of people who constantly gripe about note count and seem a bit popularity obsessed. Also beware of people who seem to  c o n s t a n t ly be fighting with someone and are always talking some drama on their blog.

+ Excessive Discourse: Using their blog audience as white knights/Social Insurance for petty disagreements with other fandom members that could’ve been settled/resolved in respectful privacy.  I.E: Reblogging or screenshoting arguments on their blog instead of DMing. The moment behavior like that happens, to me it’s a power move. You can’t have a safe or fair convo with someone if they have 7,000 followers and you have 200.  Also god, if an artist is making fun of or attacking someone’s art or fic on their blog, that’s an instant unfollow. Fuck that.

+Gate-Keeping: Tied into the above, I always kinda side-eye anyone who go on campaigns against dissenting opinions or different head canons. Especially if it feels oddly defensive, angry  or emotional.

Discord Communities

+Tree-Housing: The moment a public discord starts to become a Semi-Private or a Private community is a red flag to me, especially if the environment turns into a gossip-y situation or if it is specifically becoming some sort of retreat or Clubhouse for the Mods. While I very firmly stand behind the idea that People Talk and there’s no harm in it, there’s a big difference between harmless gossip and uh obsessive bashing sessions. If you are in a discord with more than 10 people who are not long term friends, then it is not a private discord for you and everyone in it to be talking shit. I have seen so many really nasty discord screenshots in the last two years from so many different folk, let me tell you. Also if you’re in a discord and the goal of most rooms seem to just be to attack and demean and rip apart “competing” artists/ficcers in the community, then to me that’s toxic.  No one deserves targeted harassment. Not even that Ask-Blog you think is cringe. There are levels of talking about people and their works and if it’s straight up hateful, then idk why you’d want to be in that sort of company. If they’re doing it to other people, they’re probably doing it to your shit too. 

+Long Live the King:  Don’t support discord servers where Mods+ their friends are treated like infallible Gods, be aware of power-tripping or when dynamics between the chat are getting stressful/harsh/toxic.  A revolving door of Staff + Members is not a good sign. If people disappear or are blocked without full transparency, then that’s a red flag to me. If you feel afraid or uncomfortable around someone in position of power in a discord, then don’t stick around. Also in general, don’t let A N Y O N E talk nasty to you in a discord, no matter what is going on, you deserve civility and always stand up for those who are being mistreated when you can.

+Dog-Piling: Discords where conversations turn tense or abusive very quickly with multiple members swarming someone on something innocuous and making tons of bad faith accusations over say a ship or an idea with little mod intervention, or worse, mod support, is usually a bad time for everyone.

I’m probably forgetting a billion things that are redflags for me but I hope this helps anyone reading navigate situations where they felt uncomfortable but didn’t quite know why.