#i have no context for this btw i have 0 memory of why this image was made and the timestamp says it was at 1 in the morning

[twoa-plus]

i made this in 2020 & the face has been my apple id image ever since, genuinely have not seen the original until i accidentally hunted it down during a discord conversation earlier today. truly a relic of a different time

[4chanisbetter-than]

What are your thoughts about everything that just happened, give it to us

What just happened? I witnessed hatred. I felt the hatred. I have never seen a display of hatred in anime that comes close to the level of hatred I saw last Saturday night. That was a personal vendetta that exceeded any level I thought was even possible in the entire world of Hunter x Hunter.

You know how in school, when that one kid was clearly fuming (school analogy because Gon is 12? btw or is he anymore that’s another fucking topic for another section of this), absolutely nothing anyone said would change their mood from friends to teachers to disciplinary figures, etc. They would ignore everything everyone said, and everyone knew they wanted to fight. They wanted to fight more than anything else in their life. That was Gon for the entirety of this arc. I said this for weeks.

I could tell he was not listening to anything anyone was saying. He was so angry from the murder of his lifelong mentor that he was not going to be moved from his decisions. This was obvious when things that would normally elevate Gon’s mood no longer did so. Killua (bless his soul) had the agony of witnessing this first hand. They would go on recon missions, and Killua would try to make small-talk with Gon, only to find that Gon was not listening or did not care. That shit hurts, especially when Killua knows damn well that Gon is already upset, and he’s doing his best to try to make his friend feel better. I also said this for weeks.

However, even at this point, things are still not as bad as what I witnessed last Saturday night. At this point, things are still salvageable. This is obvious when Morel (bless his soul) asked Gon to prepare an attack imagining his opponent as if they were Neferpitou. Gon starts to get that fucking look in his eyes and invests his emotional power into his Nen. Killua steps in to calm him down, and it works.

They plan their attack on the palace in a Nen-dimension Knov (bless his soul) created, and Gon shows signs of not paying attention to anything that doesn’t have to do with Neferpitou. For weeks, the only things that fuel his desire to listen to what others have to say is whether or not he thinks it will “help Kite”. This is past the point of unhealthy, and others are noticing it. No one knows how bad things really are. I have an idea of how bad things are in the form of a pit in my stomach that was getting denser and denser for weeks. I was naive. If the worst-case scenario in my mind at this point in the series played out last Saturday night, it would’ve been a miracle. Meleoron was right. Meleoron was underestimating.

As soon as they get inside the palace, literally within seconds (emphasis on seconds), Gon already deviates from the plan. Sure in the strategy of the attack, his deviation saved the lives of his teammates and helped preserve the plan’s future steps, but I guarantee you that whatever sliver of strategy managed to form in his mind would not have happened if Neferpitou was also in the room. Gon wanted to find Neferpitou as soon as he entered that palace. Youpi was the most significant lead he had on figuring anything out about Neferpitou’s location, and that is 100% why he attacked Youpi immediately. It’s very likely that if Neferpitou was also in that stair room that the entire plan would have crumbled because of Gon. If Gon ran towards Neferpitou, it would’ve allowed Youpi to gain the advantage of attacking the team first and likely claiming lives very quickly. I remember in this episode how happy I was that Neferpitou wasn’t in the stair room because of what might’ve happened. After witnessing what I saw last Saturday night, there would’ve been a better outcome if they were on the stairs too.

Komugi (bless her soul) is now involved, and this is where things get much worse than I expected. This isn’t the worst case scenario yet, but it’s a disaster and a series of events that I know within this ever-growing pit in my stomach that they will never get closure. Meurem (bless his Komugi-loving soul) is already distraught that Komugi got injured from a bird attack, and he assigns Neferpitou to take care of Komugi’s injuries immediately since she got injured on their watch. Neferpitou wants to play with the new Nen power that has just entered their radius, and Netero sends them far away while Dragon Dive falls. Neferpitou hurtles themselves back to the palace to find Meurem holding an unconscious and bleeding Komugi in his arms. Neferpitou is now immensely sorry that they let their selfish attitude interfere with the duties the king assigned to them. You can see it in their eyes. You can see it in everyone’s eyes. The king silently but desperately is asking for help, one of the most human things he has ever done. (This is another topic that I could go on forever about I love the two of them so much.) These are the first tears that fall from Neferpitou’s eyes. My eyes are sobbing. The king has to take care of the intruders, but he knows if Neferpitou stays to help Komugi, he’ll be at a disadvantage without the information that Neferpitou’s En provides. Okay I’m actually done talking about this because I love Meurem. Point is, things are worse now. Still, they are not as bad as what’s to come.

Now Neferpitou is fixed to one spot basically guaranteeing that Gon will be the one to find them because Neferpitou is not searching/hunting/detecting at all. Neferpitou is not a fearsome Chimera Ant Royal Guard using their En to detect, intimidate, and emit pressure to their enemy. Neferpitou is now a protective mother.

Gon finds out where they are, and things immediately get worse again. Worse than anything I’d feared. I said for weeks that Gon was going to do villainous things when he found Neferpitou again. I could even begin to expect what happened. Gon’s hatred explodes exponentially at the exact moment Neferpitou turns around. He’s enraged. He’s in hysterics. He’s not himself. At this moment I’m in more fear than I’ve ever been in because Neferpitou shows 0 sign of aggression or even curiosity about fighting Gon. This goes against every note I ever had about this arc. Neferpitou shows signs of submission at increasingly extreme levels to no avail (crying now btw remembering this scene because I still hear that sound in my head) while Gon exceeds his levels of hatred with each sentence that comes out of his mouth. Neferpitou is exuding desperation because they want to try their hardest to help the king after messing up. They acted on a selfish impulse at the very beginning of the invasion, and now they are completely and utterly selfless, shown through the act of bringing harm to their own body. Alright I’m done talking about this part ;_;

Nobody is okay with things at this point. Nobody should be okay with things at this point. Killua is the reminder for this. Even Killua, who has no clue about the context or the meaning behind what’s going on unlike us, can tell that things are not like how they were during their first encounter with Neferpitou. Killua is the reminder that if you’re not already disturbed and emotionally turned by what has happened, you fucking should be now. The closing sentences and closing images of this episode show you just how long things have been not well inside Gon. He just told Killua, his best friend and partner in his entire adventure as a Hunter, that this fight has nothing to do him. In this moment, Killua isn’t in the picture, and hasn’t been in the picture for who knows how long. It’s very likely now that his hatred is manifesting and warping his entire psychological makeup. He thinks this entire thing was a personal attack on him, and it’s the mantra he’s been telling himself like lines on a chalkboard over and over and over again. To him, in this moment, Killua is irrelevant. Shoutout to Killua for being there even though he was heartbroken because he still prevented Gon from killing Neferpitou (a defenseless healing mother) and probably also Komugi. Gon still has some grip on reality here.

Now things are worse, and I’m agonized by how worse things are getting still. Gon is making demands and using Komugi as leverage to get what he wants while also holding her hostage. He’s on a thin wire. He’s within 5 feet of Neferpitou, literally breathing down their neck, and his hatred is brewing still. He’s in conflict right now. Those lines on the chalkboard that he repeated to himself have been contradicted. This Neferpitou is not villainous in any way. This Neferpitou would never kill Kite. His conflict creates more hatred because he’s confused. His empathy is completely gone. Everything turns into generating more hatred. Everything is Neferpitou’s fault to him. At this point, I thought he was thinking these thoughts, but that was going to become painfully clear at a later point.

Komugi is “healed” now, and if you thought Komugi was in danger because of Gon, Hunter x Hunter is here to remind you weekly that in this arc, whatever your worst case scenario is, things can always be worse. Now Shaiapouf is involved. I tried my hardest to avoid bringing this piece of shit up if I could help it, but if I’m going to go through the painful memories of recounting exactly what I thought about last Saturday night’s episode (which by the way, yes this is all important to know if you want to truly understand how I felt last Saturday night, so if you’ve legitimately read this far, thank you.), then I have to mention Shaiapouf because his petty jealousy of Komugi plays a role in Neferpitou’s death which fucking sucks. Neferpitou needs someone to deliver Komugi to the king. Neferpitou desperately needs the king to know that they performed their duty to the best of their ability given the circumstances to show their love for the king. Neferpitou needs the king to know Komugi will be okay. The only person who would even viably be capable of doing this would be Pouf. Of course that isn’t going to happen. Pouf is playing his own games. Pouf has his own agenda. Pouf is creating more chaos within this already tumultuous situation. Not only is Pouf not going to help Neferpitou, but now that Pouf understands the consequences of going against Gon’s demands, he actively instigates to gain the upper hand himself. I hate Pouf.

Komugi is in Killua’s handling now, and she’s terrified. (I’m not going into this detail because it’s another topic I could go on forever about just know I love Komugi she is precious and deserves the world and her dear leader). In this situation, Killua is probably the best person she could be with because she will be safest with him even though she’s being manipulated by Pouf and being taken advantage of because of her blindness and unconsciousness to believe otherwise. With Komugi out in the open (wow a lot of this shit happened in one terrible stressful bad horrible anxious room), Neferpitou and Gon make the most somber walk to go “help Kite”. Neferpitou “gets a call from Komugi” saying that she’s okay and that she’s going to go be with the king. Neferpitou is content at this point. They have “completed their task”. They can confidently break the truth to Gon, repair their arm, and kill him knowing that the king recognized their deed. In hindsight, this is a double-edged sword.

Because Pouf tricked Neferpitou into thinking Komugi was safe, regardless of his motives, he gave Neferpitou the catalyst they needed to transition back into “Chimera Ant Royal Guard”. I think this phone call contributed to the direct events that led to Neferpitou’s death, no matter how inevitable it was. What do I think would’ve happened if Neferpitou never received that call? I think they would’ve told Gon the truth about Kite, repaired their arm, and then gone back to the palace immediately to rescue and continue aiding Komugi however possible in their fully-restore condition. Everything I saw about Neferpitou’s character in that room motivates me to say that. But that did not happen. As far as Neferpitou is concerned, Komugi is safe, and at the very least, they died happy knowing they were able to help Komugi for the king. So I never thought I’d be thanking Shaiapouf for anything, but I’d like to think Neferpitou was happy in their dying moments for that reason.

There’s one final thing that needs to be discussed before last Saturday night can be talked about. (Yes, this is all prefacing how I feel about Episode 131, so again, thank you to anyone that has legitimately read THIS far. I appreciate it.) While Gon sees Kite in his current state, limp on the floor, he’s breaking down. He’s coming to terms with reality.* He realizes that Kite cannot be saved.* He acknowledges that Kite has been killed.* He owns up to his own irresponsibility that led to Kite’s death.* He’s finally on the same page as the rest of us.* Through his tears, he sees Neferpitou is going to fix Kite.* Wait.

* - Psyche btw because these things literally did not happen.

And now it’s over. Now I have accepted the thing I have feared for weeks. For months. Now I embrace and wait for the inevitable. I have nightmares about it. I dread it. I try my best not to think about it even though the possibilities consume my thoughts. And let me make this explicitly clear…

Even at this point up until I saw the events with my own eyes, I could not have dreamed, imagined, or thought of a more brutal death if I wanted to.

Like I said in the beginning, I witnessed surreal hatred. Seven days later, it still doesn’t fucking feel real. It’s not that it’s unrealistic, I just now completely understand the exact depth of Gon’s hatred for Neferpitou, and I realize I never even fathomed how much he hated them despite me talking about it for months. Neferpitou was willing to put their own life on the line to help Komugi. Gon was willing to put his own life on the line to kill. Kill is putting what I saw lightly. The worst version of Gon I could think of was tame compared to what I saw. The moment all that energy came swirling into the room to manifest into that monster I saw Gon become before he transformed, I knew I would not blame Neferpitou for anything they decided to do from that moment on. I knew they would do whatever they could to take his life… I knew they would fail… I knew what I saw Gon transform into was not only powerful enough to overtake Neferpitou, it was overkill. Gon didn’t think about how much power he needed to kill Neferpitou. He just needed to obtain power to kill Neferpitou. There was no upper limit. He hated Neferpitou so much that he shortened his own life just to ensure that they would die. As far as what happened afterwards, I know I remember thinking how beautiful every frame of their eyes was. I knew there would come a point where I wouldn’t be able to say that anymore. It was gruesome :( I was upset at every moment of the murder, and every direct action caused my sadness to intensify. The knee, the blast, the impact, the image of their face… After that, it was all out, I just knew I might as well cry in full because what was happening wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. It didn’t stop when it should have. That’s the part I cried at the most. Tears are forming as I remember it. It wasn’t just a symbolic and ironic beheading. It was blood-lust. It was as brutal as watching two animals fight to the death. Neither of those two were human. Even after Neferpitou lost their head, they still fought. I cried for them, knowing that even after consciousness left their body, it was still being attacked. Terpsichora manifesting into its strongest form after being released from the limitations of Neferpitou’s power just made it more tragic. They truly loved the king. They really put their life on the line for the king - to protect the king.

With the final moment of Gon impaling his severed arm into Neferpitou’s beheaded body, that’s all I have to say. I could talk about Neferpitou forever. I tried my best to restrict my comments about Neferpitou to the most important ones, but to be honest, I thought about their entire life last Saturday night. We were there when they were born. We knew everything there was to know about Neferpitou, and the sad part is that’s it. I probably omitted some things too, but this is probably more than what you were even asking for.

I love Neferpitou, and I love Hunter x Hunter.