#i have never seen anything so beautiful in my life as val kilmer dancing and singing along to tutti frutti by elvis

[lannisterdaddyissues]

now that i have seen top secret i have a hot take but instead of mav doing the risky business dance (which, i admit, is inspired and totally canon) i want ice to dance the entirety of the choreography from top secret!

[stacks-reviews]

Must Reads Special #2

Welcome to the second special edition of Must Reads. 

This months episode: Stacks Favorite Movies.

--Balto “An outcast half-wolf risks his life to prevent a deadly epidemic from ravaging Nome, Alaska.”

It has been a very long time since I last watched this movie but I remember renting it a lot from the local video store. My mom even got onto me once because I kept picking it almost very time my sister and I spent the weekend at our grandparents. Not surprising really. What little kid wouldn’t love a movie starring a dog with his goofy polar bear best friends as he saves a town and gets  the girl he had a dog crush on? And the fact that it is a true story. Though it would many more years before I found out just how true of a story it really was.

--Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer “After his girlfriend ditches him for a boorish ski jock, Lane decides that suicide is the only answer. However, his increasingly inept attempts bring him only more agony and embarrassment.” “Hoops McCann has the name but not the talent to carry on the family basketball tradition. He’d rather earn an art school scholarship by writing and illustrating a love story. This summer in Nantucket he’s going to get the necessary romantic experience...The annual Nantucket regatta sets the stage for Hoop’s bid to earn his lady’s love and a larcenous land developer’s party sets the stage for an attack by Godzilla.”

Yeah, this is actually two movies but I can’t think of one without thinking about the other. My sister and I watched both of these every weekend that we stayed at our grandparents house (after I stopped watching Balto all the time). At least once a day the whole weekend. They only have two things in common: John Cusack stars in them and they were directed by Savage Steve Holland.

Both are great comedies with a long list of lines that I quote regularly. It is also in watching these that we realized anything is possible when your in a montage. Including learning how to ski. In Better Off Dead you have a very persistent paper boy who only wants his two dollars, plus tip. Two brothers that will always challenge you to a race, a singing cheeseburger, and two very useful lines for getting out of something (”I gotta go, the Christmas Tree is on fire” and “See... the problem here is that...my little brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and uh...my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out, and hijacked a bus full of penguins.”).

In One Crazy Summer you have hilarious cartoon scenes starring a rhino searching for love but being thwarted by the cute and fuzzy bunnies, getting gassed by chili, and an attack by Godzilla as only Bobcat Goldthwait can. I love these movies.

--Ghost and the Darkness “Michael Douglas and Val Kilmer star in this tense, terrific and true adventure set in 1896 East Africa. There two lions on a man-eating rampage have shut down the construction of a railway. The beasts hunt for sport rather than for food - and they have an almost supernatural knack for knowing what traps await them. Big-game hunter Remington and construction engineer Patterson set out to stop these unstoppable monsters.”

Based off a true story that I became obsessed with. Even did a paper about it when I was in middle school. I also own the book The Man-Eaters of Tsavo by John Henry Patterson which details every encounter he had with Ghost and Darkness along with details about hunts he went on during the rest of his time in there. Everything that happens in the film really did happen. Although, there are some scenes that didn’t actually occur until after Ghost and Darkness were shot.

But I should elaborate first. In Tsavo, Kenya two mane-less male lions killed over 90 railroad workers over the course of 9 months (although that number is up to debate but we mostly have Patterson’s journal to judge by). Before Patterson’s arrival many attempts where made to scare the pair away but did not succeed. They tried campfires and bomas but the lions would ignore the fires and would climb through or leap over the bomas. They didn’t fall for the traps that Patterson set. Ultimately they were stopped but it wasn’t easy. If I remember correctly it took about 9 shots to killed the second lion. I can’t remember how many it took the first lion. There are a few theories about why they attacked and ate people but it is still being debated.

The first time I saw the movie I loved it. Still do. 

--Indiana Jones A series of films following archaeology professor; Indiana Jones, as he searches for lost artifacts.

A very poor description for a great film series. Except for number four.  From favorite to least favorite it goes Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and then Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. 

That order because Last Crusade is just fantastic, so is Lost Ark but I have never been overly found of that last scene (I think it scared me the first time), Temple of Doom third mostly because of that was the one of the original trio that we watched the least. And Crystal Skull last because the alien idea was pretty fun but I would have preferred it to have been about an items with more historic importance (although Temple of Doom didn’t focus on one either). Plus, for just about every movie there is usually that one scene that universally people don’t mention around those who they know haven’t seen the movie yet. Because you just have to see it for yourself. You don’t want to ruin it. And then there’s the scenes that we don’t mention because it was just that bad. And Crystal Skull has two of them. Overall, it isn’t a bad film but it is the weakest in this series.

I watched the original three a lot growing up and I still watch them at least once a year. There’s action, humor, history, and Harrison Ford. Really you can’t go wrong with these films. 

--Little Miss Sunshine “Father Richard is desperately trying to sell his motivational success program...with no success. Meanwhile, ‘pro-honesty’ mom Sheryl lends support to her eccentric family, including her depressed brother, fresh out of the hospital after being jilted by his lover. Then there are the younger Hoovers - the seven-year-old, would-be beauty queen Olive and Dwayne, a Nietzche-reading teen who has taken a vow of silence. Topping off the family is the foul-mouthed grandfather, whose outrageous behavior recently got him evicted from his retirement home. When Olive is invited to complete in the “Little Miss Sunshine” pageant in far-off California, the family piles into their rusted-out VW bus to rally behind her - with riotously funny results.”

By far my favorite dysfunctional family movie ever. It is funny and sweet and sad. The family is on some hard times but agree to all take Olive to the pageant. With the prospect of selling Richard’s motivational success program along the way. But of course nothing is ever that easy as their van breaks down and now they have to push it in order for it to start. And it just gets worse from there.

But they grow together and become closer than before. And I’m trying really hard not to give spoilers but it’s proving difficult. On all of these really. So I’ll leave it at this. It really is a very good dark humor film. Abigail Breslin is adorable in it as Olive. She stole the show. And her dance routine at the end. I would highly recommend watching the whole movie instead of looking up the routine online; though I won’t stop you if you do. It makes its impact so much better.