#i have never listened to a second of that podcast bc i do not care and i don't like podcasts

[wegmans]

oh my fucking god. worst discovery of my life. that sailor socialism girl from years ago is THE red scare dasha that i somehow keep hearing about. this sucks

[remi-thirsts]

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍?

pairing: gojo, geto, choso, and toji x fem!reader (separate) summary: celeb!au where the boys are interviewed and asked a pretty personal question ! (I took nanami out bc I don't think he would want to share your business with the world) content: kinda suggestive, established relationships, allusions to sexual themes, mentions of dacryphyilia in toji's, pet names, cursing, celebrity!au (model, singer, actor, etc) wc: 1.4k

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

"Yes, yes! Thank you for joining us today, Gojo-san. All of your fans are excited to see you play the new lead role in this upcoming movie!" For the past hour Gojo has been answering questions many of his fans have with an interviewer who has gathered some of the most asked questions.

"Next question!" The women exclaims excitedly, when she reads the card she pauses in shock, "Um.. who put this card in there...?" Now the white haired actor was curious.

"Well, what does it say? I'm sure it can't be that bad." His cocky attitude is showing, but a huge percentage of his fans like when he's like this. It makes fantasizing him all the more creative and exciting; or so you hear.

"Uh...uh. Um-" She remembers the camera is rolling, and this is live TV. "Many fans know you have a girlfriend and a lot of them want to ask,

"What is your favorite position?"

Gojo knew his PR team would probably get on his ass for answering this question instead of moving on to a different one but he doesn't care- at all.

"This is a tough one... hm. I guess if I had to choose I'd say cowgirl. I love the way she rides," he pauses for a second before continuing with excitement, "She's hella good at it too! Every time I watch her bounce on it my eyes about roll to the back of my-"

"OKAY. Thank you, Mr. Gojo!" She interrupts, quickly turning to the camera with a very forced smile.

"There you have it! We'll be back after a brief commercial break!"

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

Your boyfriend, Suguru, started a podcast about his music life with his band mates two years ago. Since his group already had quite a huge fan base, it was no surprise they took to their podcast with excitement.

Usually the group would talk about funny backstage stories or moments where their performances were almost ruined. Today they're doing a Q&A, the questions that are most asked will be answered first, while less popular questions will be answered later.

"Oh shit, people wanna know Suguru." He quirks an eyebrow, the raven haired male leans his mic towards his lips so the people can hear his voice.

"Know what?" A sly smirk forms on his face because he knows there could be at least a million things 'the people wanna know.'

"They wanna know what's your favorite position to have your girl in." The lead singer snickers whilst asking the question. Suguru clicks his tongue and taps on the desk a few times.

"I really like to have her legs behind her head cuz I can reach really deep that way."

"Sooo, mating press?" Their lead singer is just as nosy as their fans so of course he's gonna press on.

"Hell yeah, man." Some of them clap and others laugh at Suguru's openness.

-----

You were really busy but you decided to tune into your boyfriend's podcast after a bunch of people tagged you on twitter to go listen to today's episode.

When you hear Suguru tell all 2 million of his podcast listeners what position he likes to fuck you in, you scream into your pillow and turn into a giggling mess.

He never knows how to keep his mouth shut, and you love it.

♡ 𝐂. 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

You're laying on your boyfriend's bed listening to him play his game. Choso's a big time streamer at this point. Four years ago when he started his fan base was quite small and he just enjoyed the few who would join his gaming streams. Now, Choso streams as work and he still loves it just as much as he had long ago.

"Thank you for the tip 'prettyem0b0y22'," Usually Choso reads aloud whatever message they leave with their tips but he hesitates this time.

"Uh- you don't really expect me to answer that, right? She's laying on the bed right now."

That statement immediately grabs your attention, you glance at his monitor screens, trying to get a peek at whatever his fan was asking of him.

It seems plenty of others want to know the answer to this question too because the chat starts speeding up, meaning that they're spamming.

"Guys come on, I'll turn chat off if you guys don't stop." Choso is as scary as a cute little kitten, so they just keep at it, and now you're curious too. What could possibly be that bad that he didn't want to answer it and to be fair he has answered some pretty crazy questions before.

"Indulge me Cho, what did 'prettyem0b0y22' wanna know?" His head swings so fast he could have gotten whiplash from it. His cheeks are burning pink and his brows furrow in confusion.

"I promise it wasn't anything crazy, don't worry about it." Oh, you're worrying about it alright. His strange behavior prompts you to spring up off the bed and walk your way over to his desk.

Instead of just taking a quick look at the chat, you make yourself comfortable in your boyfriend's lap. Obviously the chat goes absolutely crazy when they see you make this gesture. Choso is no doubt embarrassed but he slings an arm around your waist anyway.

"So what was the question he couldn't answer in front of me?" Prettyem0b0y22 wastes no time sending another hefty tip.

"I asked him what's his fav postion with you." When you read the whole thing aloud some giggles leave your lips.

"He likes when I ride him while facing him. For what reason? He's a titty man." Choso gasps as you expose both of you. The risks are high, anyone, literally anyone could see this clip and think something about you, but you don't care. It's your body and his, people don't have power over how you two interact with each other.

The chat explodes with all kinds of things, most are shocked emojis, while others are spamming the cherry emoji. Luckily, Choso's moderator team puts slow chat on and does a few other precautions to settle the situation.

"Baby- I- what if your family sees this? Or worse your boss?!" His concern is absolutely adorable.

"Well I guess I'd have to start a streaming channel of my own?" Everyone in his chat is totally on board with that idea. They've seen you play for Choso before and they think your commentary on games is quite funny.

"I don't want you to lose your job though." This time he whines in pure worry.

"I won't, baby. It'll be alright. Don't overthink it."

♡ 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

Toji's got what people want to see in model catalogs and magazines. The slutty waist, the well defined but not too defined muscles, his beautiful eyes and long lashes. Toji is a picture perfect model, which is what landed him his modeling gig and even a whole career a few years later.

A journalist, who's particularly interested in his dating life more than his modeling career asks him a bunch of dating related questions.

Some have speculated that Toji was dating, but he neither confirmed nor denied those allegations. You and Toji agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, because having a bunch of strangers in your personal business was not desirable.

The journalist woman words the questions in a way of inference.

"Assuming you had a girlfriend, Fushiguro-sama. What would your favorite position in bed be?" At first Toji groans but then when he registers the question he decides he'll answer it hypothetically when in reality it is something he likes to do with you.

"Hypothetically speaking, if I had a girlfriend my favorite position with her would be missionary, because I'd want to look at her pretty face when she's cryin' on my cock." The journalist writes that down, Toji knows everything he says will be censored but the people will still be able to figure it out.

"Missionary, really? Many people online have guessed you were a doggy-style kind of guy. Based off of your twitter statement that said and I quote 'Love it when her ass is phat. Love squeezing that thing.' End quote"

Toji lets out a deep laugh before answering the woman, "Doggy-style is for people I don't care about, people I don't want to look at, my girl- if I had a girl, she wouldn't be just any fuck."

More theories start to surface after Toji's slip up of words, and that's okay, because they don't know you and you don't know them.

divider: @/plutism

[royrockstone]

Hi!! Fic writer asks 3 8 17 24 25 30

hiiii thank you for asking <3

3. how you feel about your current WIP

umm they are both (romencken and romtom) quite stalled but i feel good about them i think? if im ever feeling sad enough to rewatch church and state it will definitely spur me on to write more romencken. i rlly want to fully tie mencken to romans ed/let him have cringefail eating issues sex which im excited to dig into but also im not 100% how to approach it.

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

i have a lot of bits and bobs ive never polished or published that could be parts of sequels ! like a bunch more eat what's rotten epilogue material that should honestly be fashioned into a final chapter to cap it all off or a spin off. i never finished involuntary, but it could have a kendall-centric sequel. i could also do a sequel to all the bourgeois social angels if anyone cared at all to read it.

17. talk about your writing and editing process

i rely on inspiration way too much for initial writing. almost all of my ideas start as a momentary flash of either one line, one exchange, or one central image and i just build out from there. if there's no flash, no writing comes :// in terms of editing, i am pretty impatient to get fic out into the world (i try not to be prefectionistic and not to keep people waiting) so i take my first or second draft, read through for coherence, for any places where the characterization or analysis is shallow or off, then proofread and maybe move a few paragraphs around before i publish. (this means i often regret how i went about writing something bc i Immediately realize as a work on the next few chapters that it was wrong or not a great setup or whatever, but better than never publishing ig)

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

i have basically no non-creative outlets (lol) so i switch from medium to medium until im ready to write again. i also rewatch the source material or read other peoples fan works.

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

cooking, reading, dancing, watching films and musical theatre, listening to podcasts about films and theatre, analyzing film and theatre with my friends. i am also fond of smoking menthols but i dont think that counts as a hobby.

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

eat whats rotten is probably my best fic. whisper how im better than i think is the most structurally sound and the most focused. i have a soft spot for all the bourgeois social angels-- its a weird one but a good one? its barely fanfic its just an exploration of what it feels like to have an ED Buddy.

[youremyheaven]

Heloo admin ji! You fav desi anon this side (lol)

I can't believe I keep crying about how not more is talked about Anuradha and then boom! I saw your post and now I wanna cry 🤣🤣

One thing that I want to say to everyone reading this is just that everyone has a different interpretation of the same thing. I'm not taking sides but what I want to highlight is I might pick on different themes and someone else on different themes while analysing the same nakshtra Or anything in general. There's no harm in listening to the other person. Especially if you're self assured about who you are.

Disclaimer: Some of this may trigger y'all although I like to put it in the least offensive way possible

Now coming to the post- where shall I start, Saturn is seen as traditional and stoic. As a Saturn woman I tried very hard to be able to fit in with the ongoing trends that talked about challenging societal beliefs about traditional gender norms. But I authentically always saw myself as more of a traditional woman. Which is something I felt ashamed of. If that makes sense? And honestly Tate's content triggered me a lot (not that I was a subscriber but ofc he's in everyone's feed at this pt. lol) not only because I felt most of it was BS but also because at times I felt like hey I actually want a traditional household but not the picture that he was painting. I just want a normal guy who'll be stable, loyal and caring and ofc I never expect things that I'm not willing to give so it goes both ways. Having said that Saturnians may not be everyone's cup of tea coz we need to be sure about what we're getting into all the time. There's no room for uncertainty imo. Which can go both ways. Similarly being traditional can go towards the extreme. Something that I feel you covered in the post.

End note- We all have a good and bad side. The whole point is some people with some placements end up being on the other spectrum at times or like totally in the way they choose to live while some of us consciously realise where we can change. So my love to you all (non Saturnians included 😂❤)

P.S.- Sorry for the biggest rant of the century.

One of my old failed talking stages was an Anuradha Moon man and he had a very strict gym + diet routine + he was studying for his CA and was super disciplined and strict with himself in general. He got shit done and he was super thorough. He always made fun of podcast bros like Andrew Tate. He was a very staunch atheist and was one of those annoying people who thought anybody who had an ounce of faith was an illogical unscientific cretin and he was super aggressive with his beliefs? He made fun of me for praying 😭 It was so crazy to me how he thought Andrew was an asshole but he turned around and imposed his worldview on others without second thought. He also criticised feminism for making girls think they have to do everything men do to "be equal" and he was also super into traditional gender roles. He spoke about how women these days don't "behave like women" 🤮🤢🤮🤢etc

He also spoke about how important marriage was to him and he'd "joke" about how he'd keep me in place 🫠 after marriage? He was obsessed with being rich and would brag about his sneaker collection and if I ever complained about anything, he'd say that "people like me have real problems, you're just spoilt" 😤 I just think the nature of Saturn is that whatever they believe in, they take it to extremes. If they're religious, they'll be extremely religious but like this guy who wasn't, he was an extreme atheist. Saturn energy can make someone restricted to their worldview.

Being traditional can be a wonderful thing and I consider myself pretty traditional as well (too traditional for some crowds but too "modern" for other crowds) and many women I admire are also traditional (I'll explore more in part 2 ) but finding a traditional man who is more normal?? (Lol) is a struggle 🥲bc a lot of men just think being an alpha asshole = being traditional. The spirituality of Saturn is very inspiring as well and evolved Saturnians are so 🫶✨

[hermanunworthy]

Maybe can we get a Taylor!! Or a Scary

(Only if you feel like it ofc)

ill do both!

- taylor -

sexuality hc: we all know alloaro taylor wins

gender hc: i havent thought about it too hard yet but probably somewhere under the genderfluid umbrella?

ship: swiftli as a qpr perhaps? idk im not big on romantic swiftli

brotp: taylor and hermie.... in my head they actually care about each other and they are just silly family having fun and being mischievous together (im in the process of making an au rn in which they have more of a fun dynamic like that, yall will love it i prommy)

notp: im not really actively against any taylor ships? (other than hermie obv) im not a fan of any of them but im not like ew either

random hc: he listens to tons of vocaloid and has been begging hermie to cosplay rin so they can perform a rin and len dance at a con together (but hermie refuses to go to a con that isnt comiccon)

general opinion: hes my least fave of the teens but i still love him i think hes silly and he reminds me of my best friend :]

- scary -

sexuality hc: bi

gender hc: girlflux

ship: gothcleats! i like it as romantic or platonic. probably my second fave ship in the podcast (but then again i barely have any dndads ships)

brotp: like i said in the hermie one, i wanna see her and hermie being worsties. thatd be funny. but i also think if they got to know each other better they would see theyre actually a lot alike

notp: scary and hermie like i already said blah blah blah

random hc: she was a mlp kid growing up. she had a pinkie pie soccer ball (i had one when i was 5 this is me projecting. mlp was my whole childhood) and she still thinks princess luna is rad as hell but will never admit that bc shes hidden away all her dark (bright and colorful) past in a box labeled "KEEP OUT OR DIE!!!" but sometimes when shes alone she has the urge to rip the tape off and pull out her pony toys :[

general opinion: I LOVE HER and i WILL fight her haters. shes my baby i will defend her w my life u guys just dont get it

[secludedsunflower]

How the marauders era would run a nonprofit

Because I am bored and tired of running my own nonprofit

James: THE GLUE. The public image of the nonprofit and does all of the face-to-face talking. Has insane connections and an odd obsession with the process of getting 501(c)(3) certified (his dad works in business so he knows how the business end works). Has a lot of parent support. Secretly changed the Instagram password because he was tired of Remus' dry captioning.

Sirius: Chaotic but gets shit done. Does half of his work through his phone to the amazement of James and the disgust of Remus. Sends emails at 2am, hacks into his mom's zoom account for unlimited zoom time, and admins the nonprofit's discord server. Secretly the reason that productivity is steady. Always active in the group chats and never shuts up. Trying to convince the group to make a tiktok (its not working).

Remus: The mother hen. Keeps the website running, manages the social media, makes the spreadsheets, watches the email, you name something and he probably does it. Is late to every board meeting but secretly loves the thrill of being in charge of something. Keeps his camera off on meetings and always calls off of his phone, despite preferring his 4 year old broken laptop for every other task. A firm believer in podcasts and youtube channels to spread their cause.

Peter: Forced to help start the nonprofit but ended up falling in love with it. Always eager to suggest new ideas for outreach events and fundraising. His biggest secret is that he gets most of those ideas from scouring subreddits about founding nonprofits. Helps Remus with the website and is actually really good at graphic design. Shows off whatever random animal or bug that is near him while on virtual planning meetings.

Lily: Was passionate about a social injustice and dragged her friends along with her. Somehow does everything all at one and refuses to accept help until she is drowning in word. Actually a really successful leader and everyone loves her. Puts a lot of emphasis on volunteer work as a way to fight this social injustice.

Marlene: Lily dragged her into this but she's lowkey glad because she likes the cause and likes having something to do. Pretty lowkey, but will happily give a detailed explanation of the issue they're fighting and their solution when asked. Has the logo as a sticker on her MacBook and infographic flyers in her bag ready to be handed out on a moments notice.

Mary: The designated PR manager of the group. Will handle social media, the coding the website, and making spreadsheets but dies when faced with face-to-face connection and usually makes Dorcas come with her. Believes in the power of tiktok and instagram as a way to attract a younger audience and is right. Likes making everything fit a theme, and is often seen at a library printer fiddling with the colors and sizing of the newest infographic flyer the group came up with.

Dorcas: A casual supporter of the nonprofit but designed all of the graphics bc why not. Likes listening to Lily, Marlene, and Mary plan in the library and uses them as a background noise of sorts to study to.

Regulus: The nepo-baby. Has connections and experience and fucking abuses that shit (as he should tbh). Already on his second nonprofit but he doesn't care that he has to do twice the work because (1) he likes one-upping Sirius and (2) he likes seeing his friends excited about planning and leading such an initiative. His family wasn't too happy about him being involved in such an activity and tried kicking him out of the nonprofit (which he literally founded lmao) but Regulus said "fuck you" and ended up just doing it behind their backs.

Barty: In it because he likes seeing Reggie and Evan happy but also because his dad said it would be good experience for a future ministry job. Not too enthusiastic about their cause but into all of the logistics. Tries to see a deeper meaning to all of their moves, even if there is none. Insists on using Slack as their primary method of communication and organization because he used it once during a ministry internship and fell in love.

Evan: Also in it to see his friends happy but also because the cause is oddly really deeply personal to him. Literally carries the group chats in all outreach related discussion. If anyone so much as compares his nonprofit to someone else's or to another school organization, he gets super defensive and basically quotes the whole website in their face. Made the website, and is trying to convince Regulus and Barty to agree to starting a podcast and a youtube channel.

[brbabcseu]

What are some fun facts about AJ and his friends? They look like a fun group!

Leighanne w ur permission I am kissing u in glee

I got fun facts ABOUND

They're a very fun group! Jesse's never had complaints abt them, he thinks they're all good kids. They all got their own troubles and have their moments, especially around high school, but they're kids yk? Jesse is happy to have them under his roof if they ever need an escape or a vent or what-have-you. He WOULD love it if they could keep it the hell down after 10 pm though.

Damien is the newest initiate to the group. He's a sophomore when AJ and the other three enter their freshman year. Damien got to know Maya first through extracurriculars-- he runs track and Maya figures skates! They'd hang out after their respective practices and listen to podcasts while waiting for their parents to pick them up. AJ has a huuuuge crush on Damien and everyone teases him abt it... idk I love Damien so much he's such a goober!! V much one of those kids who "acts cool" bc he's always so chill and can easily run in more popular crowds but he's not a douche, he's actually v affable, if not a little too apolitical when it comes to disagreements + drama amongst the teens. Guess he's afraid it'll make his persona less neutral, and the idea of not being able to be friends with every different clique makes him feel insecure :(

Axel is overly boisterous, moderately annoying, and incredibly funny. Will Say and Do things just to see what happens. Rule of thumb: if it provokes their group to throw proverbial tomatoes at him, he's commiting to whatever that bit is. Likes to keep the energy up and the conversation flowing, otherwise he gets too anxious (he deals with a lot of tough things internally) and his friends remind him to relax once and a while, he doesn't always have to be so On around them. Close with all of them but has a special bond with Maya; AJ coming in close second.

Maya is sunshine incarnate. She always has a way to find things beautiful. If her life isnt going to inherently be like an indie film then she's going to MAKE it like one!! And she makes it look effortless to boot. Lover of all thing doodle-y, poetry, and podcast-y. Doesn't always matter the subject; admittedly though, she has a hard time focusing on something full through. If the name or thumbnail interests her she goes "sure hell yeah" and follows it lol. Her and Ax's respective neurodivergencies fit together very well. Her and Sam love to brag about their "boy-free" outings in front of the three guys and will usually team up when everyone else is being annoying. Maya considers AJ her sweet angel baby boy and would carry him around in her pocket if she could. She lovingly gave him the nickname "AppleJack" 🥹

Sam's been around the longest. A very level head in the group, a grounding force. She knew AJ since they were in diapers so they're essentially siblings. This is evident in how they treat each other; they'll whack one another over the head w a pillow and call each other a dumbass with EASE but also be ride or die till the end. The two can share one look and burst out laughing, super silly and goofy!! Sam's mom, Eliza, is a recovering alcoholic and has been slowly but surely putting her life together while Jesse's friend and local foster mom Delilah has taken care of Sam on and off throughout the years. Eliza is good people; her and Jesse are kindred spirits. So, meeting her and seeing her as a fellow struggling parent with a history of addiction, he vouched for her a lot and tried helping her out with housing and finding work while she was at her lowest. There were a lot of playdates, so Jesse's seen Sam grow up. He was there for all her school events, helped with all the birthdays, just as he did with AJ. A lot of that connection goes unsaid-- so it hit Jesse like a freight train when one day a 12 year old Sam approaches him and very casually hands him a father's day card. "You're not my dad but you are A dad, and a good one. I never met my own real dad so thanks for being there instead," the card read. She has to watch her smirk and keep from rolling her eyes and says, "Ah, you don't gotta cry about it!" when Jesse gets that 🥺🥹 look on his face. Despite being as prickly as her mom, she accepts his bear hug and tells him she loves him. The card is still on his dresser.

Doodles!!! Respectively: Sam receiving aforementioned bear hug, Maya and Damien hanging out, and Sam and AJ at their most affectionate

[autisticempathydaemon]

matchup incoming <3 ->

What song are you fixated on at the moment:

NYE by joseph! second verse in particular ^^

Enneagram:

im a 2!!

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

yes!!!! i love deep dive videos on internet culture from early 2000s. i also really like film analysis videos

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

i liked chronicles of narnia a lot when i was little and i definitely played with imaginary aslan and lots of other talking animals

What is your go-to way to fall asleep:

smushed into just so many pillows and blankets that are good for holding with music/podcast/asmr playing and my cat snuggled up with me

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why:

if i were to change my name i’d probably pick a family name since my name now doesn’t have any connections to anyone else. birdie was a family name that i think is rlly cute :3

favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why:

currently i think the david camping audio is my favorite. very soft and quiet and calm.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why:

probably marcus. while i do think he is an interesting and well written character, i don’t see the appeal the way i do for some of the other more morally grey boys.

that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

peter pan!!!

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to:

asher is so bestie vibes to me i need to carry him around in my pocket at all times. i care him so much <3

go-to thing you ramble about:

i’m kind of a known rambler if given the opportunity so i’ll start going on about anatomy, work gossip, film theories, the games i play, anything really if someone offers to listen ^^

favorite playlist:

my favorite playlist has all my fav 50s and 60s music bc i am a hopeless romantic. big band songs to slow dance in the kitchen to type of theme going on.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are:

i think im pretty hardworking and i spend a lot of time taking care of other people (probably a good time to mention the extreme eldest daughter syndrome).

in my free time i love baking and cooking. i can play a tiny bit of guitar and piano but most of my musical talent lies in singing.

that’s all i can think of :0

It’s the little things with this entry. All the little, small, sweet things that make a life together, that you have in common, that make me think you’d be a really lovely fit for Camelopardalis.

Like, I can see Cam being a huge fan of the Chronicles of Narnia? (I think he loves all the classics, like the Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien and Lewis were contemporaries, so that works together.) He’d love smooth, crooning classic 50’s music; Cam plays it in a record player but not in a hipster way, in a “this is technically an antique” way. He’d love the leisurely, methodical routine of cooking.

Most of all, he’d love you. Twos are often categorized by a caring, giving nature and a desire to love and be loved. (Geordi, for example, would be a Two.) I think Cam is a good match for that, as he strikes me as the type of partner who’d be very open, communicative, and giving with his affection and in receiving it.

Song:

A heart that's true and longs for you/ Is all I have to give/ All my love belongs to you/ As long as I may live

Camelopardalis seems, to me, as the kind of man-shaped being who doesn’t fall first but falls extremely hard when he finally does. You would be a once in a very long lifetime kind of event for him, and his love would outlast you, the sun, every star in the sky.

Runner-Ups:

I also like Gavin for a Type Two. There’s something about the way he talks about his feelings that’s so effusive and raw that appeals to me for someone with the basic wants and fears of that Enneagram. Ollie, I’d pair with you because of the way his hardworking nature would complement yours. Ollie is dedicated but balanced, and I think he’d make sure you don’t overwork yourself.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

Note: thank you for your patience! I really appreciate you waiting 💙

[livefromtheyard]

loved the yard (obv) and wine about it, with the caveat that i think they shouldn’t drink. generally their chemistry is really fun to listen too even if both of them stray to far into “boys locker room” and ���girls locker room”. also the yard is maybe the only podcast on this list that has never had severe audio problems

trash taste is ok, but the episodes are too long and usually contain one or two topics where they are just arguing about something that i know slightly more about than them so its just frustrating. i stopped watching them.

fear&: i really just don’t like the way hasan talks. he seems like a great guy but he just kinda sucks the energy out of the room. will is fun, austin is growing on me slowly and qt is amazing (but better on wine about it). also the podcast is really scuffed and not in a good way

otvpodcast: my parasocial relationships cannot carry me so far. the flow in this one is terrible, there’s so much dead air between topics and its always a bit awkward, ofc depending on the guest but i think because its like a once a year type beat for most of them they don’t really get enough practice in. its very professionally produced, yet still very scuffed feeling

safety third: its scuffed but actually in a good way its better in person but i also think they may have just run out of things to talk about. i stopped listening to this one a few months ago for whatever reason.

dear hank and john: kind of a random pick but for a podcast between two middle aged men there’s great chemistry and flow between topics, its really funny and they actually seem to care about the quality of it (like actually rerecording when the audio fails). they’ve been doing it for years and been pretty consistently good throughout.

revolutions podcast: slightly different from all the others here. but. a really clear and engaging history podcast about several different revolutions since the modern era. i’m not sure exactly what to say about it and whether my enjoyment of it comes from it being the exact domain of history i find the most interesting (political/economic stuff). but its probably my second favourite podcast on this list (under the yard)

there’s a lot of others i could talk about because especially before covid i used to listen to a lot of podcasts (and a lot of variety in podcasts) but that was so long ago and i probably wouldn’t be able to remember much. (mbmbam sucks; hello internet is good just for gray, brady is annoying; etc) but this is long enough (and i don’t think my insight is interesting or well written enough to continue beyond)

!!! thank you for contributing your thoughts 💞 love it. it is truly amazing that only one streamer podcast out of the ones that get talked about a lot has had almost zero audio issues, apart from it being a little quiet sometimes when they move too far away. i'm excluding trash taste from that group in my mind because they are too popular to me. i haven't heard of a lot of these though!! i didn't know hank and john had a podcast :0 the otvpodcast really interests me now....... i've never been into otv really, but i would like to see how awkward it is lol. i also might have to listen to a bit of the revolutions podcast bc the only one i listen to consistently besides the yard and wine about it is apocrypals, and i feel like there could be a lot of crossover with events from a bit earlier in history 🙇‍���️

[mighwnt]

listen here fricker we know too much of the same things and you don’t have your asks open for ur sp blog so this is being dealt with in public. wtf are your interests in your interests im so squinting eyes at you. what is your favorite musical but like why and what makes a musical a good one or do you not give a shit? i’m going to assume u fell down most/a good bit of of the dsmp rabbit hole of different povs. do u watch traffic series and which is ur favorite. what do you hold dear. also drop ur kin list i feel like that would be helpful too. this could also be a problem in dms since we are in the same discord but listen i never said i was smart

RJHEGDSDHSA HI

a) my interests?? i like sp7, our flag means death, streamers (qt and lud, steve suptic, vgumiho, dumbdog, tubbo), pokemon, ace attorney, warrior cats, history, podcasts idk

b) my fav musical is FALSETTOS!!! its a great musical with a great set design (the 2016 revival im talking abt) and the music is amazing! my second fav is the great comet. um i was a theatre kid a long time ago (middle school and previous) so i dont really care if its "good" i care if i like it

c) yeah! ive probably watched every dsmp member at least once, my cc favs are jack, tubbo, niki, hannah, and tina. my c! favs are tubbo, jack, hannah, puffy, quackity, and tommy.

d) ive watched some of the traffic series but mostly i know stuff thru osmosis. i think double life is my fav bc it was the first i watched while it was going down and i really like the soulmate gimmick, its fun

e) here we go.

hollyleaf (warrior cats), c!tubbo (dsmp), stede bonnet (ofmd), jonah simms (superstore), phoenix wright (ace attorney), izuku midoriya (mha), twilight sparkle (mlp), dory seif (search party), tony stark (fanon mcu), leafstar (warrior cats), bramblestar (warrior cats au), poe dameron (star wars), gloria (pokemon), johnny (tick tick boom, original off-broadway), biff loman (death of a salesman), prince hamlet (hamlet). im sure theres more im not thinking of but yeah.

now UNO REVERSE!

[littlespoonevan]

all the moments where eddie and buck show that they Know each other and/or act like a family in s4:

“i can know weird stuff too” (my kINGDOM for the indignant way eddie says that bc yeah knowing weird shit is buck’s thing but eddie’s not his best friend for nothing!!!!)

eddie’s “you wanna tell him or should i” face when chris asks buck if they can play video games at his house instead

and buck absolutely folding bc “you can’t both be good cops”

buck buying eddie that coffee maker as a “prank” (bc buying your bff the expensive coffeemaker he really wants is the height of comedy?????)

also the fact that buck and christopher conspired to prank eddie and chris called buck so he could hear eddie’s reaction

“you did not build him a skateboard” “buck helped”

(also marjan asking about buck bc she sees him on eddie’s instagram ok there’s a delay between eddie saying “buck helped” and her going back to looking at her phone before she asks that ergo!!!! buck on eddie’s instagram!!!!)

“you obviously don’t know buck” (honey no one knows him like you)

buck/eddie true crime podcast when????? (again, they’re not best friends for nothing!!!)

“where’s buck?” “on the phone with dr copeland. emergancy therapy session”

the entire scene in the gym but specifically:

eddie validating buck’s feelings (”what d’you have to apologise for? did you say anything that wasn’t true?...if that’s how you feel - how they made you feel”)

eddie stopping buck from hitting the punching bag after he says he just wants to hit things bc he knows that feeling all too well and he doesn’t want that for buck

eddie holding the punching bag steady with his foot rip

“that’s not on you” and every soft/concerned look eddie throws him throughout buck begins

“showoff” “i had to do it” “no i know you did”

eddie completely indulging buck with the whole checklist thing at the start of jinx and looking horribly fond while doing so

“still not sure what inspired this software update” (bc eddie doesn’t think buck doesn’t need to change at all)

“you’re allowed to give yourself time to process”

“buck never told you about the last time someone used the Q-word?” - bc of course buck would be the one to tell him

the entire conversation when eddie comes home in 4x08 like you’re gonna tell me “you’re late” “christopher already in bed?” “yeah” “you’re a miracle worker” doesn’t sound like two husbands discussing their child?????????

(i mean technically they basically are discussing their child thANKS eddie’s will)

christopher running to buck when he’s upset with eddie and buck promising him “you still got me because i’m not going anywhere”

i mentioned this already but “can’t you both be good cops?” both: “NO”

“interested to know what your definition of too much discipline is” that means he’s vetting you as a future parent buck

buck and eddie play detective pt. 2 aka buck and eddie go treasure hunting

buck lasting 0.05 seconds before he folds and agrees to be in a team with eddie despite already being in a team with taylor bc he is Incapable of disappointing him

the shooting scene....i still don’t know what tf that was but there were some Camera Choices in those 60 seconds

just

all of 4x14. like. all of it.

ok but specifically

buck dragging eddie to safety and getting him into the truck

eddie seeing the blood on buck and asking if he’s hurt

buck basically being catatonic at the thought of losing eddie

buck being the one to tell christopher about eddie

and absolutely no one questioning that it is 100% buck’s job to do that and to be the one to take care of christopher while eddie’s in the hospital

buck and christopher having breakfast together and chris making fun of him for snoring

also wait back to buck telling christopher: him breaking down sobbing when he finds out eddie’s out of surgery

the hospital reunion

the Conversation™ (listen i can’t talk about it in detail bc i’ll scream but like eDDIE MADE BUCK CHRISTOPHER’S LEGAL GUARDIAN IN HIS WILL??????????)

buck being the one to pick eddie up from the hospital and bring him home

buck’s fond smile when eddie and christopher are reunited

[nat-20s]

my favorite part about a jmart wonderful au is that it’s the perfect chance for adhd jon to infodump about everything he loves to his beloved husband. also the idea of jon being deeply and truly into the music of carly rae jepsen just brings me ALL the joy in the world.

LITERALLY LIKE!! wonderful au aka two ND husbands lovingly infodump and lovingly listen to each other infodump in return

Also I always headcannoned Martin as the CRJ stan (if I had the skill to do it i WOULD do a s1 crew animatic of this) [Martin voice: Carly Rae Jepsen is the opposite of Boris Johnson, in every conceivable way] BUT I love the idea that Jon got really into her after hearing Martin talk about it that I'm gonna fuckin write a minific right here right now bc I think it would go like

Jon: For my second thing, I want to discuss the music of Carly Rae Jepsen.

Martin: Oh you bastard!

Jon, innocently: What?

Martin: My second thing this week was Carly Rae Jepsen. I cannot believe you stole her. I introduced you to her in the first place!

Jon: You're joking.

Martin, laughing: I'm not! Look at my notes! Behold my research!

Jon, also laughing: Alright! All right. Well, you were right! She's very good and I would like to talk about! You should feel validated!

Martin: There is a bit of vindication present, yes. Okay, wait, babe, we can compromise on this.

Jon: Oh?

Martin: Yes! You can do Carly Rae Jepsen as a whole, I'll, fuckin, off the cuff, do that specific feeling of being gay and hearing the sax solo on Run Away With Me for the first time. We'll just have a CRJ themed episode. She deserves it.

Jon: Despite the fact that both of our first things had nothing to do with Miss Jepsen?

Martin: Boo. Spoilsport. And can't everything be tied back to CRJ, really?

Jon: Hmm. Perhaps. If we make some reaches. Oh, though speaking of run away with me, did you know that during your, ah, lonely stint, there was a considerable part of me that wanted to just set up a boombox with that playing outside of your office until you finally came out?

Martin, delighted: Wait, really? You wanted to pull a Say Anything?

Jon: Well I've never seen that, so no, but I think the song captured my sentiment at the time quite well.

Martin: Mmm, I dunno. I don't remember anything about eye gouging in any of her discography, let alone specifically Run Away With Me

Jon, audibly rolling his eyes: The eye gouging was an action, the sentiment of let's get the hell out of here and maybe make out still stands

Martin: Well, that part I did take you up on, eventually.

Jon, smiling: Took you long enough. Maybe the song would have expedited the process.

Martin, fond: Like you were any better. We got there in the end though.

Jon, fond: That we did.

Martin: Speaking of getting there in the end, we should probably actually start talking about Carly Rae Jepsen, huh?

Jon: Right! One of these days we'll introduce a topic with meandering for several minutes.

Martin: Doubtful. And who cares? We promise to talk about wonderful things on this podcast, not to talk about them efficiently.

Jon: A fair point. Anyway, for those unaware, Carly Rae Jepsen is a Canadian performer-

[practicalmagicintuitions]

“The fates lead the willing and drag the unwilling”

I was thinking about that last MT podcast HC had when he mentioned stoicism and a book I have but I haven’t read yet. So I decided to deep dive in a little bit because I studied philosophy at the university at a very basic level but I always wanted to know more, so this seems a good occasion. I am also interested in what HC could see in this philosophy school. I think we all know at this point he is interested in things that interest his people, not necessarily him or he is dropping ideas, new things fast. So one part of this will be a summary of stoicism because I feel many people have misconceptions or don’t know what is this just saying this is sh*t even don’t have the slightest idea about it. The other part will be a little HC armchair analysis by me throughout this topic. And I also decided to read the book he mentioned - Viktor E. Frankl Man's Search for Meaning - and maybe I will walk through it or give you a summary if you interested. 

Bare with me, because this turned out to be long, but I had to get out his from my system.

Not soon after the pandemic and the lockdown started in 2020 Penguin Random House said the print sales of Marcus Antonius’s Meditations are up 28% for the first quarter of 2020 vs 2019, while print sales of Letters from a Stoic are up 42% for the same period. The ebook sales rose by 356% . This boom was because of the pandemic but the popularity of modern stoicism has been an upcoming thing for a while especially since people like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet allegedly used stoicism in their business and Thomas Kaplan is supporting a Stoicism Course at Brown University. But unfortunately, modern stoicism has become kind of a ready-made lifehack, a self-helping method, that’s why books like Ryan Holiday’s one could be published and becomes a success. This is where I see modern stoicism’s faults. 

Stoicism seems a good school to support or to follow in the pandemic because this is about we have to accept the things we have no control over. Probably that’s why the sales went up. This is about don’t letting uncontrollable things or events messing with your judgment and clarity. Fear, screams, panic, rages don’t help. And I think we can agree this is true. Aurelius wrote his Meditations in the middle of a battle when his men were dying not just because of the fights but because of a pox epidemic and top of that he was an Emperor. So to maintain his sanity he had become a stoic. He didn’t have an influence on the epidemic so he just accept it and didn’t spend his energy raging about it. 

Stoicism was founded by Zenon around 300 BC. And it was a thriving and popular school without huge wars or pandemics or anything. Back then it was not a reaction to something but a preparation for something. More directly prepare yourself the thing you cannot be prepared for. And probably this is the OG stoicism most valuable teaching that there are events in this world we simply cannot control. What we can control however how we react to those events. Are we remain calm or think this is a catastrophe. Let see a very basic example. We are mortals, we will die no matter what. This is a sure event we have no control over. What we can control that our view on this. Will we panic? Refuse to even talk about death or refuse to make a will because “OMG I will die then!!” Like spoiler alert, it will happen, will or no will. Or we understand our time is limited and try to enjoy it and not see smaller inconveniences are tragedies. I am sure we all know people who think if they spill themselves over with coffee or the handle of the grocery’s bag comes off it’s a pure tragedy and they are capable of thinking about this all day as something it is happening with them always an exclusively. 

Until this, I think it’s all good we can use this in our daily life. What is dangerous in the OG stoicism is that the stricter wing of it thought emotions as a whole or almost all of it cause confusion so you basically should eliminate emotions to have that clarity on life. That’s why Diogenes wrote that the wise is emotionless. And this is the main and very valid criticism again stoics, that with taking away the emotions they basically ripping of humans from something very unique valuable, important, because our emotions make us humans. And because living totally emotionless is kinda impossible this goal is not realistic, so it causes many frustrations ( oh my... even more emotions!) Because think about it, who are described as emotionless? Psychopaths. 

You have cases, events, when your emotions, even overflowing ones are right and acceptable and suppressing them, could be dangerous. Because realistic or not Marcus Aurelius and Seneca and the other stoics idea was not just watching the world and letting things happen, shrugging a shoulder and say nothing, no! Their philosophy and aim were to eliminate the bothering things which not let you think calmly. And since we are talking about philosophy the reality of this in practice is secondary. Critics also think ( and maybe the modern stoicism is going in this direction) that a hardcore stoics care only about themself and their egos while Seneca says friendships are important and in general most stoics accepted positive feelings (to a certain extent).

Stoicism comes back to life mostly in psychotherapy around 1900 by Paul Dubois ( before him there was another new wave of stoicism in the 16th century) and that’s where Victor E Frankle is connected to this topic. I haven’t read his book yet but I know his method is called logotherapy (logos= meaning) and this was born in the deepest existential crisis when his whole family was killed in a concentration camp and he felt he had remained only one personal freedom, the way how he reacts to the circumstances. Frankle invented his own method so he is not just planted some ancient in the modern world but he in fact thought Socrates and his philosophy is his inspiration. I won’t talk about this more until I read his book. 

* I wanted to listen to the whole podcast again, but I couldn’t so I just went to the part we care about now.

So they are talking about morning routines and he mention that one of his teachers in primary school said to him “Always expect the unexpected” This is pure stoicism and while I am not suggesting he is lying I noticed he likes to blend his current interest with his childhood memories like when he said at the WitcherCon how they had to build a fantasy castle in the school (or something) and this was such good preparation for him because he has a fantasy series now. Convenient right?

So he mentioned the teacher and a little later hinting that he is into stoicism lately. Question is, which comes first? The teacher with the stoic idea or the stoicism as a new interest somehow repainted his childhood memories? 

Then he again is talking about the stoic’s way of control. Or does he? 

“ focusing on the thing you can control and make yourself better to control them” 

This was never part of the OG philosophy because that is not about being a control freak. It is actually the opposite. If you cannot control something let it go, not force things to go on your way and if you failed then you let go. 

The next part it’s not about this topic but I have to mention it because I kinda overlooked it when I listed this at the first time.

He is asked about the fitness industry’s mistakes and he said

“I wouldn’t be the kinda person to point my finger at anyone and say there is a big mistake there…. I wouldn’t ever want to point to finger at anyone saying there is a mistake “

So… should I insert the FO post here? And I know the question and the answer was about fitness but he clearly has no problem pointing fingers at people. 

This leads to us again to the control topic. His FO post is creaming about controlling. “ You don’t like the way I am dating? You don’t like I have a covid romance? Then I will tell you what to do and how to behave because I need to have control over my fandom”

When the host asked him about overcoming obstacles he mention the book - Victor E. Frankl Man's Search for Meaning. (he also said it’s difficult to give advice…)

While he is talking about the book (and for me, it’s clear that the host doesn’t give a damn about this) so HC’s whole tone is changed. Just compare when he is talking about MT and training and so on, he is so irritating and unlistenable but here he is calmer, doesn’t use his voice so expressively, doesn’t emphasise that much in a sentence etc. This to me shows he is actually craving after something more, something deeper, something serious. Not just talking about his ties and blueberry smoothies. I don’t think is dumb (I think he has dumb choices thought) I think he could be more both as an actor both as an individual because when he was talking about the book I felt he has a true, genuine interest and it was a one-second opportunity to talk about something interesting not just fart powder.  

I feel his interest in stoicism is an attempt to validate why he is oppressing his feelings. I am sure he does this because he is uncomfortable with his feelings, past and present. For example, I think instead of the bullying his main trauma is being sent away from home to a boarding school and experiencing cold treatment from his mom (the infamous stop calling story). But he oppressing this because I guess all of his brothers he is looking up to loves their mom and he feels he needs to be a good son but questioning his mom means he is a bad one. So instead of admitting that he is hurt and damaged by it he is saying the bullying was his worst experience. 

This means to me he doesn’t understand stoicism, ancient or modern he just wants and moreover, he needs something he can hold and cling to, something that gave himself meaning. As a book’s title says: Man’s search for meaning. And I feel HC does this maybe a little bit desperately. Searching for the answers and this moment he thinks stoicism is the key to finding what he is looking for while in reality, the main problem is he doesn’t ask the right questions. And without them, he won’t find any answer. Or meaning. 

Title quote from Seneca

[stillgeekingout]

part 2~

I finally actually read all of pride and prejudice, it was great everyone was right lol. also I made character playlists for it for sara’s bday but I also just like them

speaking of playlists. ingrid and I went back to working on our narrative playlist project and we are now hopelessly invested in it lol. all of the playlists are done as of last week but more things to come. also I put together a box of props based on the characters for ingrid’s bday but also for me (are you sensing a theme lmao)

I wrote a song!!! I have always wanted to and never succeeded but I did do it and I think it’s good. I probably won’t ever do anything with it but it exists. maybe in 30 years I’ll write another one. or maybe sooner if we do our OLS thing

we went to a couple of Musical Mondays at a theatre near us and sang in their open mic competitions (and didn’t win but it was fun)

I thought last year was concert year but this was truly concert year. concerts I saw this year: lucius w/ingrid & my mom which was CRAZY good and we were super close and then they came into the crowd and stood right in front of us, aly & aj with ingrid, muna in atlanta which was my first time going to a concert alone (it was still fun but I prefer not going alone), twice in atlanta with shannen and ingrid, black midi with ingrid/sara/sara’s dad lol, and tessa violet w ingrid and the people we made friends with in the crowd (this one was also really small and cool). we started listening to chappell roan like the week she was in orlando and it was already sold out rip. also darren came to orlando but I didn’t go to that either bc it was his christmas show and I don’t care

I lost my beloved yellow water bottle in an airport :’(

I feel like I didn’t really go feral over any tv/movies this year? we watched not dead yet and taskmaster but idk there weren’t any new-to-me shows that I got super into. I was underwhelmed by barbie…. nimona was good and I’m glad it exists but it didn’t Hit Me the way I think it hit other people

one of my parasocial relationships got to the point where even I was like ok this needs to stop

on the flip side my other parasocial relationship is going great on bluesky lmao 

my sister was in indonesia the whole year! :o I miss her a lot! in september we were the depression bros

I saw snow for the first time!! we went on a roadtrip to virginia and north carolina to see friends

got addicted to fb marketplace and got 2 new armchairs (and the infusion tea couch)

ingrid and I took spanish in the fall but the teacher was bad so I didn’t learn very much spanish

our roommate stayed for a second year, she is chill

shannen moved farther away :( but we still got to hang out

we did 2 friend group powerpoint parties

I guess I can’t not say it…. the eras tour took over my entire social media feed which first gave me fomo and then it was fine and then annoying but it did make me start talking to hannah and now we are friends outside of ingrid :)

also this was My Year for taylor’s versions, speak now and 1989 are The Ones (even tho I don’t prefer the new versions)

ingrid and shannen FINALLY finished corey & sherlock. and I read it and it was fun despite also being A Time because it fell during my depression month rip

rory was born!! the first baby in my Vicinity in a looong time

obligatory bullet point for muna bc I love them… I’m still not a podcast person but I listened to so much gayotic this year. yeehaw silk is my roman empire

saved it for the end: my goal in 2023 was to write a lot of my rough draft and I did it! we went to see manatees, we went to st augustine multiple times, I read seasons of real florida & braiding sweetgrass (until I had to return it to the library lol) and I researched weaving and made a connection through an infodump match blog and drew an insanely detailed castle map… working on this book is occasionally stressful but mostly it’s just fun!

did a lot of writing in the beginning of the year and then stagnated for a while and then I was looking for a distraction from work hell and rainbow convinced me to do nanowrimo on a whim and I completed it!

I was in a writing group with someone I used to rp with on forums when I was like 13. WILD

anyway 2023 was a lot but a lot of good things happened too. I hope this year to stress less about work and just focus on what I can control, like my house and my book etc. my mom keeps saying “ready for what’s in store in 2024” so I made up a mcelroy year title for her which is “20 what’s in store: the adventure awaits”. personally idk if I want an adventure this year so I’m sticking with fungalore hearing my wish to get a lot of writing done. if you made it this far I hope you have a year of human connection, restful sleep, and good snacks. peace and love <3

I was gonna be like "would you believe it's my 10th one of these" but apparently tumblr has a CHARACTER LIMIT now????? why would they nerf me on the year I decided not to worry about how long it was

anyway I guess I'm splitting this in 2 so reflections on 2023 part one~

let's start with work bc then I want to be done with it: I spent all year doing trainings (& 2 conferences) and researching and preparing to apply for an advisor position if it ever opened up. it did open up in spring, I applied and did not get it, the new advisor was not good and got fired, I applied again having done much more training and still did not get it, I applied for a different advisor position trying to triumphantly leave my office and did not get that either. so now I’m still in my same position working under the person who beat me for the job but this time with a bunch of extra responsibility that I gave myself trying to prep to be promoted. lol. if I sound very bitter it’s because I am :)))) 

all that being said, I do still mostly like my job from day to day. and I still want to do advising, probably. if they’ll ever hire me for it

related to work but less bitter: I had mostly good relationships with my coworkers. one of them was pregnant for a lot of the year and just had her baby last week and I’m very excited to meet her (we went to her baby shower despite all her friends being Very Christian lol it was a time) (this coworker is uhhhh A Lot but it’s complicated lol). I got to be on the hiring committee for another coworker which was a cool experience and also she is very nice. got closer with another coworker who I previously had kind of a tenuous relationship with (and now she works fully remote so it doesn’t even matter) (jk)

another thing I did in my quest to Be Hireable was basically take over supervising the student leaders (work study students) at work. shoutout to esteban, isa, aar and sheri lol

I have inherited my mother’s trait of getting attached to problem children. there are several students who are a recurring Thorn In My Side but also I’m rooting for them

last work thing that is only tangentially a work thing: I became the advisor for GSA at my campus and now I have a bunch of queer college students under my wing. a few of us walked in pride which was my first time being in the parade and it was wild. also we had an event for trans awareness week and I am proud of them for coming up with it :)) more exciting things to come this year. feels good to have a little corner where I can provide support in the face of so many attacks from the FL govt

let’s get the other big bad thing out of the way! my mental health was shit lol. I briefly was doing virtual appointments with a therapist in the spring but it mostly just made me feel weird and untherapizable. (as in, I didn’t feel like I was getting much out of it but I think part of that was that it was zoom calls from my car on my phone during lunch breaks) although it did lead to me leaving my phone outside of the bedroom at night and putting timers on my apps which I think have been net positives even if they haven’t made as much of a difference as I hoped. 

the aforementioned job stress was a huge part of it, the application process lasted like 2 months and then they left me on the hook after the interview for Multiple Weeks which was. a bad time.

another part of it was I was alone a lot on weekends and I’m not very good at using my time off to do fun and nice things when I’m by myself, usually I end up just stewing in my brains. I did try to get in the habit of occasionally going to these nice gardens near us so maybe I will do that more this year also.

also health related: got my first mammogram this year. it was uncomfortable but fine. also got my first pap smear which was QUITE PAINFUL AND UNPLEASANT but I did survive it

also tangentially health related: I tried a few times throughout the year to do yoga. for a lil bit I was doing it with some coworkers after work once a week. some of it I did with some people from the carry on discord. it was very intermittent but better than nothing at all!

last health thing: my dad’s siblings had an Exceptionally Shitty Summer. one of his sisters died, another of his sisters had an extreme staph infection and was in the hospital for weeks, and one of his brothers had a mini stroke and possibly also a heart attack? the latter two are doing okay now but it was rough for a minute there

ENOUGH BAD STUFF I turned 30 this year! three full decades on this earth

Ingrid got her work authorization and a job and later in the year her green card!

I paid off my car (and also my car is having a lot of minor problems but that’s just… having a car)

I made a few financial mistakes (messed up our taxes, accidentally got a best buy credit card) but they are hopefully still fixable and overall we still saved money by the end of the year. we tried to keep a budget for a while but it was hard to keep up with. we also tried to join a credit union but their customer service was really weird

made a halfhearted attempt at local politics (went to a few protests, one city planning thing, and one socialist alternative meeting)

stay tuned for part 2 since tumblr hates me apparently

[astroidology]

TREASURE

• Mars Signs •

Hyunsuk

■ Scorpio Mars: surprisingly scorpio mars are very chill, and he lives up to that. He does have a strong drive, a strong aura and great confidence but is not as quick to anger as some would expect. But also can hide it pretty well so... it just depends. He doesn't open up as much, as I just mentioned, he keeps most things hidden and tends to show only what is convenient for him which is not always a bad thing, it's not like he has an alter ego, it's just for his trustworthy issues. In relationships, he's possessive and loyal and expects nothing less. Those on and off games aren't his type of thing. Sex is meaningful for the most part, but can mean nothing as well. He wants a partner that is as committed for him so he can open up his heart.

Jihoon

■Aries Mars: high energyyy. He's assertive, hot headed, impulsive. He's competitive and aggressive, sometimes playfully, sometimes not. He likes taking control, taking the lead and is always open to new experiences. Strong sex drive. His temper is something people and even him should be afraid of, anger blinds him. He's up to get into a fight any time. He's got an ego and can't take when things don't go his way. But his temper lasts approx 5 seconds lol and his enthusiasm is contagious. In relationships, he's openly jealous, mostly for entertainment purposes. He goes after what he wants and is very straightforward.

Yoshi, Yedam & Haruto

■ Gemini Mars: restless minds. They like communicating but can have a hard time getting their message acrossed. They're witty and curious and are attracted to someone who'd debate with them. They can easily suffer from anxiety and stress since they never take any breaks from overthinking. So sleeping could be one of their favorite things in the world. Listening to motivational talks and podcasts might be really good for them. In relationships, oh boy,,, they usually feel like having new experiences is most important. Which makes them not the most committed partners, in fact, it's way harder to keep them around. It's their nature to be constantly changing since they get bored quiet easily. When trying to get someone's attention, they get super talkative and funny. Tend to talk a lot more when nervous.

Junkyu

■Leo Mars: drama queen. I adore junkyu bc he's so silly and I do think that's his Mars showing. He's usually optimistic and fun to be around. He's got a heart of gold, genuinely wants to make people happy. Is also not super quick to anger, unless you push his buttons. There's certain things that trigger him and can make him go from 0-100 in just a second. When he's mad, it's very obvious lol you can tell by his face, his posture, his vibe, and most of the time he lets people know by just talking sh*t or by raising his voice hahaha but also can act mad and hurt just to entertain others. He's a jokester, don't take him too seriously. In relationships, he wants to be loved and adored. Once he sets his mind on someone, it's really hard for him to get over that person, but can easily let go if the person starts acting indifferent and cold. He hates that. So much.

Mashiho, Jaehyuk & Asahi

■ Sagittarius Mars: they have high energy just like any other fire sign, but they're energy is the chillest one. Of course they get mad, but they're not prideful or is not like they want to punch people. They can raise their voice or be mean but will immediately regret it afterwards. They're also quick to accepting when they've made a mistake. Also, they're super blunt, expect only the truth from them. They can act like little kids and laugh at the stupidest things which is lovely. Love having fun. In relationships, they're warm. Love being taking cared of. But it's hard to tie them down, they're just free spirits and need people to give them space.

Doyoung

■Pisces Mars: he really has a soft spot for dancing and music. You can tell by the way he moves that he enjoys it so much he gets lost in it. He's high in sensitivity. He can sense everything, can easily pick up on people's mood. He can be really two-faced when mad. A whole different person. This placement makes him a little shy as well. Spends most of the time day dreaming. But that's what makes him very attracting. In relationships, his standars are set up quiet high bc he creates this idea of what he likes and falls in love with it. No one could ever meet such expectation cuz it's not even real. He has to be careful who he falls for because once hooked, he would not stop thinking about that person. This placement makes me want to hug him seriously.

Jeongwoo

■Libra Mars: oh he just likes staying out of troubles. He gives off a peaceful vibe and is very calm for the regular. But don't mistreat him, don't just start yelling at him for no reason, don't be mean to him. He can go from being a very sweet and calm person to being a complete bitxh, and would start telling you your truth and why you're wrong and uhh... it's something you don't really expect from him, that's why he avoids getting mad. In relationships, he's very giving. He likes to give as much as he likes to receive. He's a smooth talker for sure. Sometimes it'd look like he's flirting but he's unaware of it. So it doesn't mean he's attracted to that person. But is also not the jealously type, he just wants a lovely relationship.

Junghwan

■Capricorn Mars: he's ambitious. Incredibly hard-working, can easily become a workaholic. Likes to be recognized for the things he has worked hard for. Laziness really doesn't go with him. Responsibilities always go first. But keeps many things to himself, so many would describe him as reserved. He knows he's a good option and is incredibly competitive. It's very hard for him to get over old habits and routine. In relationships, he approaches so cautiously that sometimes he won't even dare to go far. When he likes someone, he admires from afar since he can easily get offended and hurt if his feelings are not reciprocated.

[i-growl-growl-growl]

reaction box seems open so i’d like to request yandere nct (all member or just older members its up to you) reaction to their SO is depressed and refusing to talk, eat and even drink bc of their actions thankss

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This is a very old reaction request that came in, not a new one. Reactions are still closed!

I did the older members. Hope you enjoy!

~Ahreum Rhea

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Taeil: Taeil will freak out internally and he’d be extremely worried and regretful. He knows that this is his fault, so he’d loosen up a bit and he would allow you to go outside, he’d open windows, stop locking you in the basement, etc. He’d start small, making sure you ate and drank water, talked to him, and just do what he could. If that didn’t work, then he’d get you professional help.

“Jagiya? Y/n? Talk to me! I-..at least take a drink of water. If you do, I’ll let you go outside- we can go for a walk.  I’ll take some snacks with us and we can sit at the park, so long as you behave, alright? I’ll bathe you and wash your hair first. I’ll help you be yourself again, you won’t leave me, y/n.”

Taeyong: He would never let anyone around you, not even if you’re going to die. He’ll come up with sick ways to get you to talk or make some sort of noise. Maybe he’ll twist an arm, or an ankle or, better yet, maybe he’ll bring out chains and Don’t want to eat? He’ll feed you through a tube then. Won’t drink? He’ll squeeze your mouth open and force water in then shut it and pinch your nose closed until you drink.

“You’re stupid if you think I’ll let this continue. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you alive- do I need to kill one of your family members? You know I’ll do it y/n. Still don’t want to talk, huh? Twists your arm behind your back and yanks your hair back toward him, making you scream Ah, that’s better. It’s not words, but it’ll suffice for now. I know many ways to hurt you kitten and you know I don’t hesitate. Now drink roughly sits you down and forces water down your feeding tube.”

Yuta: He’d throw a fit and he’d punish you so bad for doing this to yourself. Truth be told, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what he does, you should learn to deal with it. He wouldn’t stop his punishments either, but he’d do his damn best to prevent you from dying or getting sick. He’d force food and water into your mouth and would prevent you from breathing until you swallow it all. Spit any food or water out and he’d smack you. Refuse to talk? He’ll do what Taeyong would do, cause you great pain.

“I don’t care if you’re depressed, you’re going to eat and you’re going to drink this water or so help me you’ll wise you were dead, y/n. I don’t care that your arm hurts, you deserve it for ignoring me. Keep being defiant and I might just break it! Now eat he forces a few spoonful’s into your mouth then shuts it and pinches your nose, preventing you from breathing. You can breathe once you swallow it all, you should be used to that by now, bitch, or have you also lost your memory?”

Johnny: It would never get this far with Johnny. He’s too smart and too overprotective of his s/o to let her mental and physical state slip this far. The most that would happen is depression. He’ll definitely soften up enough to prevent you from completely losing your mind, but make no mistake, he’ll put you right back in your place if you think this means you get to do whatever you want. Don’t forget who the alpha is.

“Pick a movie, we’re going to go see it. I’m taking you out to dinner at your favorite restaurant as well, afterwards. Yes, seriously. You need to get out, I hate seeing you like this. Don’t think for a second, though, that I won’t bring you right back home and punish you if you act up. I don’t like seeing you so depressed, but I’ll enjoy hearing you scream for me- I already miss it, so don’t tempt me y/n. Give me a kiss then go get ready.”

Doyoung: He’ll have some regrets and he’ll rethink everything as he figures out and learns how to take care of you from home. He’d even take a few days off of work to care for you in the best way he could and be more focused on nursing you back to ‘health’ than punishments. He wouldn’t trust you to be by yourself in the room, so he’d force you to be with him at all times and he’d feed you through a tube. He wouldn’t go as far as Yuta or Taeyoung as far as getting you to talk but he’d slam you against the wall, slap you, grab you too hard, etc. to get a reaction out of you.

“I’m not going into work today, you’ll have to deal with me and I won’t go easy on you. He ties you down while he forces a feeding tube down your throat Since you refuse to eat and drink on your own I’ll force the food and water into you myself. Once you bounce back from this and snap out of it, I’ll remove it, understand?…Grips your forearm and squeezes it hard enough to leave a bruise I’m talking to you y/n. That’s another thing that I’ll have to squash.

Ten: He’d be slightly regretful. He loves knowing that you’ll have to rely on him now for everything, but he does have a job and a life outside. Meaning that he can’t always be with you 24/7. Therefore, he’ll force feed you and force you to drink water before he goes to work. During his lunch break, he’ll come home and, again, force feed you, let you use the bathroom, clean you up, etc. This process would happen after work as well, but he’d also spend time pampering you and talking to you, getting you to slowly come back to him.

“I’ll admit that I love having you rely on me for every little thing now, but I do have other things that I’ve got to do, so I can’t watch you 24/7. Come back to me, love, and I’ll begin lightning your punishments. Maybe I’ll take you outside this weekend and, if you’re good, I might take you on vacation. Make one wrong move and I’ll break you all over again and maybe a bone or two, am I clear?”

Kun: He’d be very conflicted, should he get you some help or should he learn how to take care of you himself? He’d opt for learning how to take care of you himself. He’d do his research and he’d find that he actually likes this line of work, so he’d listen to podcasts, YouTube videos, reading articles, books, etc. Once he’d gotten you back to a healthier state, he’ll begin to heavily manipulate you to believe that he’s the only one you can trust and the only one you have.

“Good morning, sweetie. Don’t worry, you’re safe and everything’s fine. I brought you breakfast, and I’ll put on a movie for you. Just relax and I’ll help you, ok? If you’re a good girl I’ll let you out into the garden and pick some flowers, would you like that? You want to draw outside? Well, it’s going to rain later on, so you can’t stay out for too long. Can’t have you getting sick, ok? Good. Now eat up. I’ll consider lessening my punishments so long as you continue to behave, alright hun? Love you.”