#i have myself convinced id just be a fat sweaty adult at a con who he has no desire to talk to and me just being there would be annoying
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Sometimes I will just sit here and think realistically about what would happen if I met my favorite celebrities and ngl I don't see a future where I meet BD and don't end up crying my gay little eyes out. Not because I love him so much or whatever but because I'm SHY and I feel silly walking up to a 74 year old man and saying "Hi, I like your work so much, I've seen almost everything you've ever been in because I have autism and your work is one of my current points of intense interest. Please have this gift of the needle felted head of one of my favorite of your characters."
#i psych myself out like. there is absolutely nothing i can say that would be interesting to this man I'm SURE#i dont think im interesting to normal people let alone someone whose work i admire so much#I'm literally like. he wouldn't even want to talk to me.#i have myself convinced id just be a fat sweaty adult at a con who he has no desire to talk to and me just being there would be annoying#then agajn i feel that way about existing in the same space as literally anyone djdjdkh#like i genuinely don't think that anyone wants to be near me at any given time and i must apologize profusely for my mere existence#..... yes i have major self confidence issues jdjdksh#rain rambles
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