#i have made everyone i know watch the entire season of moon knight i cannot be stopped

[dum-yu]

[metaandpotatoes]

TELL ME STUFF ABOUT A PLAGUE OF SWANS. I wanna know more about Kunzite's youth. About Venus being on Earth before. Just gimmie a BUNCH of trivia

Oh shit. Okay, okay. (Do I need to write a fanfic of my fanfic? Jokes.)

Kunzite:

Has a shit ton of sisters. Like, ten. They all scared him when he was little and still do. And, more importantly, they taught him how to do his hair. His sisters are why Kunzite wears his hair long—partially because he felt left out when they all sat around braiding each other’s, and partially because he liked seeing if he could become invisible to his parents by blending into the mass of them when he was young. Only three of them (including Kunzite) have hair that stayed white into adulthood; the word for this in their culture is “moon-marked” or “moon-kissed.”

Is the youngest child. There was only a short time when a) most of his sisters were still at home and b) he was old enough to appreciate them. They had all scattered to the wind by the time he turned ten—married off or gone off to school or travel or become diplomats.

Was a wild child, despite all his stoic mid-twenties world-weariness. That year of silence in the monastery when he was sixteen? Totally overstated. You better be sure Kunzite snuck out at least a few times a month with the younger monks to gallivant around the town at the base of the mountain the monastery was on. And everyone in town knew where they were from, too, but let them off, because what teenage boy wants to spend a whole year locked up in silence?

Totally got his ass handed to him in a drinking contest when he ran into one of his father’s friends during an aforementioned night on the town. Wound up sleeping with one of the stable boys in a haystack. He has never divulged the complete details of that night to anyone, but no one’s sure if it’s because he doesn’t remember or if he is embarrassed. (Neither: It’s because he knows the power of a secret. Nephrite, Zoisite, and Jadeite would kill to get the story out of him, because he has only ever alluded to it.)

(Okay, okay, one detail of that escapade: The stable boy originally approached Kunzite because he thought Kunzite was a woman. The stable boy decided he didn’t really care when he discovered otherwise.)

Cannot hold his liquor. At. All. 

Has never let Zoisite, Nephrite, and Jadeite discover this.

Pours out his drinks into nearby plants whenever they challenge him to a drinking contest. (They are not terribly observant when surrounded by women in a bar.)

Was an expert in stopping Endymion from sneaking out and totally ruining his public image whenever Kunzite escorted him around the kingdoms because of aforementioned hijinks.

Had to shave his head during the time in monastery. Was not pleased about it one bit. Wrote a passive-aggressive letter home to his mother with the aftermath enclosed.

Knows how to say “take off your pants, please” in at least three ancient languages.

Was totally awful at formal university debate, which involves pacing around an arena and firing off arguments defending or attacking pre-assigned topics in rapid succession, with hand-numbing claps signaling the end of a thought.

Almost drowned, once. His eldest sister rescued him.

Always played the damsel when his sisters wanted to play knights.

Was afraid of horses for the longest time.

Once pranked his university by sneaking into the library and replacing all of the books in the RELIGION section with manuals, treatises, polemics, etc., related to sex… (read them all, too).

Venus:

First came to earth purely out of curiosity. This was like, centuries before Venus was assigned to protect Serenity.

Spent her first night on Earth at a town’s harvest festival. Much beer was drunk. Many dances were had. The next time Venus visited, they had erected a statue of her in the town temple.

Made it her mission to party-hop every time she went down to Earth after that. Southern fire worship ceremony? Check. Desert moon celebration to end the dry season? Check. Western indulgence festival to kick off fasting? Check. Northern drinking marathon on the longest day of the year? Check.

Quickly learned that clothes were a thing she needed to keep on, for the most part. Even if it was damn fucking hot.

Again, every time when Venus returned: Statues. Offerings. Throngs of people asking for her blessings. She helped herself.

Definitely had favorite offerings: Pomegranates. Oysters. That three-day festival that involved a bunch of naked women getting together in the forest.

Was just totally perplexed by underwear. And pants. Why pants?

Didn’t learn a thing about Earth if it wasn’t related to its obsession with her.

Once brought an entire cask of Venusian spirits to a festival.

Was pleased with the myriad spirits humans made in their numerous (if failed) attempts to recreate it.

Had a running contest with a few other adventurous Venusians on how many earthlings they could bed in a night. (Venus usually won; Adonis was her main competitor.)

Fell in love with a human once before; watched them grow old and die without her.

Abruptly stopped visiting Earth after that for a good two centuries. Forgot most everything she had learned of it after that and devoted herself instead to assuming Venus’s throne; the care and feeding of one Princess Serenity after that.

Is the only one of the senshi who indulged her curiosities about Earth.

Never spoke a word of her visits to the Princess or others, given Queen Serenity’s apprehension about the planet.