#i have lots of time after work to work on this

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[jinwoosbabyboo]

Sick & Tired

How I imagine the LADS Men take care of you when you're sick [requested by: depressed but well dressed anon]

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

ready and willing to take care of you, but also is in his ‘I told you so’ era because he knew you’d end up getting sick

will do everything and anything you tell him

would let you lay on his shoulder or in his lap while you nap

even though he’s with you constantly to take care of you he somehow manages to not get sick

brings you medicine and a glass of water

cooks you homemade soup and will feed you if you let him

depending on how sick you are he would take time off from work to look after you

for my girlies who cry a little when they dont feel good he would wipe your tears for you “Don’t cry this sickness is only temporary”

if hes still working he’ll always try to be there until you fall asleep and rushes home to you

leaves soup in the fridge for you when he’s not there

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕

teases you for getting sick until he realizes youre sad “Aw cutie are you not feeling well?” “I hate it here” “Tell me what you need”

Doesn’t want to get sick so yes he’d bring you whatever you ask for but he’s wearing a mask and gloves ; avoids kisses “once you’re no longer contagious I'll give you a kiss”

doesn’t mind telling you stories or humming you songs to get you to sleep

would feed you, but be prepared to never hear the end of it “You’re just a sick girl who needs my help in your time of need I know I know my services are impeccable” “Can I have my tea now?”

mocks and teases you when you get fussy about anything “I can’t stand you” “Good thing you’re laying down then huh?”

gets sick anyway because his dumbass would eat off your spoon/fork or drink something of yours

you two end up sick in bed together and he’s even more whiny now

lots of cuddles and kisses now since he got himself sick

doom scrolls with you while laying in your lap

Thomas has to come and take care of the two of you

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

I wouldn't be me if I didn’t say it ; PAGING NURSE XAVIER

he’s at your side in a split second

so excited to have free reign in your kitchen ; immediately tries to make you soup and burns the pot

blows the kitchen up in your house/apartment ends up having to take care of you at his place

finally orders you soup and medicine after you cried because you didn’t want his cooking

he sleeps when you sleep

constantly checking your temperature

doesn’t mind carrying you around the house he knows you can walk, but he likes having you draped over him

blows your nose for you ; puts the tissue to your nose “Blow.” “Thats what she said” “…..your snot is dripping please blow”

sore throat? he’s right there daily with a spoonful of honey “Here its good for you”

can easily handle you when you get fussy about taking medicine “That was quite the tantrum” as he shoves the medicine in your mouth

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

already knew you were coming down with something he already has everything ready to go

picks you up and takes you to his place ;has his chef prepare home remedies tailored just for you

brings you everything himself ; you also have the twins at your disposal

sits bedside and encourages you to eat as much as you can “take two more bites and then you can go back to sleep”

still tries to kiss you even though you’re sick because he doesn’t give a damn “Sylus I'll get you sick stop” steals a kiss here and there anyway ; gets sick like two weeks later

wipes and blows your nose for you “You look like a sick kitten” “Shut it”

doesn’t care when you get fussy about taking medicine “Are you done? Good. Here.”

if you want to stay in bed all day thats fine ; if you want to cling to him like a Koala around the house thats fine too he’ll carry you

lets you sleep on him and steal his warmth

checks your breathing when you sleep longer than usual

leaves the twins to keep an eye on you if he needs to step out ; leaves Mephisto to watch you if he needs to take the twins with him

the type to give you a massage even if you’re not having body aches

𝙲𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚋

is already at your doorstep with groceries and medicine

keeps you close to him and in sight at all times

your personal chef truly ; he’s wrapping you in a blanket and laying you on the couch while he makes you something to eat

checks your temperature regularly ; gives you medicine like clockwork

spoon feeds you so you don’t have to lift a finger

reminds you that you don’t need to thank him ; he’ll always take care of you no matter what

cuddles you while you sleep after cleaning your place ; puts a humidifier in your room if you’re congested

tries to make you laugh so you’re not sad ; reminds you that he’ll always be there for you so no need to be sad

wipes and blows your nose for you “Your scrunched up face is adorable”

teases you if you ask for a massage if you’re having body aches ; of course he’s overjoyed to do it though “You know I'll give you a massage whenever you want”

says he won’t kiss you while your sick ; ends up kissing you out of habit and gets a little sick “Now it’s your turn to take care of me”

[leyavo]

Simon x Cat x Neighbour!reader

Part two > (previous part)

Simon Riley was a lot like his cat, dropping by your flat whenever he wanted. Thanking you for looking after Cat in small little ways.

Bringing you home little trinkets from his work travels. “Got it from some market, can’t tell you where though. Would have to kill ya and I really don’t want that.” Little things that line every inch of your windowsill, crystals he’s found because he knows you like them.

Thankfully it wasn’t a mouse, Simon hunting one down after Cat delivered one to you. And as you watched him pause, head angled to listen for the squeaks or little scurries. You couldn’t help but think he was a cat too. For a big guy, he was light on his feet and everything he did quiet.

“Dinner?” You asked, trying not to look at the mouse dangling between Simon’s finger and thumb by its tail. “Not a huge fan of rodent.”

He invites you into his flat for the first time, promising that it’s rodent free. “Woah your place is real big,” you say, opening your arms in the space as if you expected to touch wall to wall. Simon’s thinking of all the activities he could do with you, but decides dinners a good start.

Dinner turns into grabbing a morning coffee after a run and even going on evening runs, which angers him because before him you never would have done so alone. Sitting on the bench in the park to stretch or take a rest as you sip your water bottle, stickers decorating the outside.

When the pipe under your sink was dripping water for months, he fixed it and you didn’t find out till you went to check if the bucket was full of water again. No, no bucket under the sink. There was a small tool box in its place, stuff you had no idea what to do with.

Cat was drinking from the bucket under the sink, that’s how Simon discovered it. He’s even got a picture of it on his phone as well as a load of pictures you’d sent him with Cat. Sometimes he looks through them in his room back at the base. A few videos of your soft voice calling Cat.

So you sent him a picture of said toolbox and messaged him. “Did the fairies visit me?” He didn’t respond till the next day, “big bloody fairy.” promising to show you what they were for and sending you a video of basic plumbing if you wanted to learn yourself whilst you waited for his return.

Cue Simon teaching you how to fix the plumbing in your flat. The two of you squeezed into the little box of a bathroom as he listened to you explain about the low pressure of the shower and the tap on the sink you wanted to swap with something pretty.

The eroded shower hose snapping and spraying the both of you with water. Simon’s hoody drenched, sticking to every curve and dip of his muscles. Your back leant against the wall as his arm reached above you to turn the water off.

“I really wanna kiss ya,” he said, head inching closer to yours, gaze flitting to your lips. “Kiss me.”

You use his place for sex and make sure Cat is in your flat, “don’t want the kid to see,” is what Simon says.

Whenever Simon sees you’ve run out of anything, he’ll pick it up when he’s doing his weekly food shop. The coffee sachets refilled when you go to the kettle and when you ask, Simon shrugs “the fairies,” he says, sipping his cup of tea with the morning paper.

Even when you are officially dating you were still going between the two flats. Joking that cat had the studio and you could stay with Simon.

[sooniebby]

Idea for an OC, just a little draft idea right now (for this to work, reader speaks mandarin)

A foreigner reader who goes to a smaller city in Japan to live with his brother after he married a Japanese woman. It’s all awkward not speaking Japanese well but luckily Japanese uses a lot of traditional Chinese characters

So you manage when it comes to reading most of the time, but your speaking is very… childish at this stage—the classmates at your school find it cute, and luckily you have another foreign classmate who helps you out

But because of this language barrier—you get the wrong idea about a certain classmate your class seems to hate.. you misunderstand and think they’re describing him as cool

When really they’re saying he’s fucking scary, but you don’t understand why. Mainly because you can’t tell that he sounds like a yakuza member

So when you’re paired with him in a group project, everyone is “mourning” you while you are excited. He’s very handsome (when he’s not doing an ugly face, he should really stop snarling, it’s not cute)

Getting him to agree for you to visit him at home was a challenge but he finally agreed. When you reached his apartment you walked inside a bit shocked to see it was a one bedroom. No parents?

But before you could even ask, he grabs your arms and presses you against the wall, his eyes narrowed. “You’re oddly calm being near me, what, do they have a plan to ambush me or something?”

He spoke a bit too fast for you to properly understand him so you only grinned, “yes, the plan to do our homework! Everyone describes you as very organized!”

“Organized?”

“Yes… 構成 (kōsei)…”

He blinks before a wolfish smile appears on his lips. “You’re really dumb… they said I have an aggression problem. 攻勢 (kōsei).”

You still didn’t quite understand him as you tilted your head. “What’s wrong with being organized?”

“Dumb and cute…” his hands slowly trail down your arms to the side of your waist, his thumb digging into your skin. “Hey.. so you’re not scared of me at all?”

“I am now....”

“But your cock is saying otherwise .”

You raise an eyebrow, he keeps using words you don’t understand until he looks down at your pants. You glance down and quickly blush, you had a boner in your pants.

Shit.

The plot is literally just delinquent boy with innocent reader.. with reader learning he’s really into being accosted and manhandled by a handsome guy

Whatcha ya think? Yay or nay?

[samkerrworshipper]

so win.

alexia putellas x reader

no fuel quite like my procrastination to not do other things i need to do. this is porn without plot, i’m not ashamed of it. it’s also unedited and has been worked on after a day of clinicals so if there are spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes i apologise. i wrote this in like 3 hours lol. i’m also a mess at the moment and actually avoiding my whole life so this is my outlet. anyways i wrote smut! for the first time in forever ;) also for the sake of this let’s ignore timezones bcus i couldn’t rewrite the start of this to make it work lol.

warnings: smut, 18+ viewer discretion advised

You’re not with Alexia when the campaign drops. You’re not even watching the game, you’ve never been quite able to wrap your head around the nfl thing or get into like your girlfriend, the rules of rugby have been so ingrained in your mind from childhood that seeing men run around in massive pads just gives you an ick.

You’re not even the person who sees it first, you’re sitting in a cafe trying to get some studying done because it’s impossible to do at home when your clingy girlfriend insists on sitting, holding, grabbing or clinging onto any part of your body when she’s bored. It’s like trying to keep a five year old entertained, and it always ends up with you sacrificing whatever coursework you have and being endlessly stressed when you fall behind. You simply leave studying for when Alexia is out of the house or when you have time to study elsewhere.

You’re heavily engrossed in rewatching a lecture you’d missed the previous week due to training when your phone lights up. It’s no exaggeration, your phone screen goes from being blank and dark to suddenly notification after notification pouring in. Different groupchats, instagram tags, text messages. There’s another ten minutes left on your study clock before you’re technically allowed to take a break but with every thing that pops up your only become more curious. Curious enough that you look down at your clock with complete disregard and reach for your phone. It’s sitting next to your laptop, it’s supposed to be upside down to minimise distraction but when you were watching the lecture it stopped you from being able to check the time and you liked to watch as the time ticked by.

You click onto you groupchat first, a mixture of Barca girls, mostly the older ones. Most importantly Mapi, who has bombarded the groupchat in a matter of seconds, with image after image of your girlfriend.

You click onto them harmlessly, Alexia has a series of campaigns that you’re aware of that are coming out in the next few months. As you’re waiting for the images to load you try and remember if she’d told you about any coming up, there was something for Cupra at the end of february and a big campaign for more than eleven in march, and a few smaller things amongst it but nothing you could think of that was due to release today, or in the next week.

When the first image loads, you’re eyes almost bug out. Your throat closes, the oxygen leaves your lungs and you feel almost dizzy. You have to blink multiple times to clarify that what you’re looking at is real, it’s not just a hallucination of some wet dream you’ve had, it’s a real photo that exists in front of you. As you flick through them, you only feel more unwell, and a little bit wet… or a lot.

The first one is just Alexia’s face, staring straight down the lense. The way she’s been captured is almost animalistic, pink sports bra, big earrings, her hair in the wet look. It’s her eyes though, pointed straight on, the eye fuck look, like she’s staring into your soul the same way she does before she’s about to rail you, except it’s all magically been captured in one photo. You want to look at it forever, you’re scared you’ve actually lost the ability to use your extremities and all the oxygen has stopped circulating inside your body from the mix of shock and awe.

With as much power you have you flick to the next photo, and if you were already feeling unwell this feeling is close to death.

Alexia, looking over her shoulder, flexing.

All of her tattoos are on show, every single muscle is accentuated and you almost drool on your phone as you study all of the different parts of the picture. Alexia’s skin is literally glowing, effervescently in a way you cannot even begin to describe. You know from thousands of hours of tracing the skin of your girlfriends back just how strong she is, yet with everything emphasised more in the photo you feel like no matter how many hours you’ve spent staring this is adding a whole new perspective. Her arms, her facial expressions, the illusion of her hair sticking to her skin, the pink contrast against her skin.

You have to scroll, because if you don’t you won’t be responsible for the actions you engage in whilst in a very public space.

The following few pictures are of other athletes, basketball players, gymnasts, runners, other football players. For the most part, americans, yet your girlfriend in all her glory is a part of it.

You get through quite a few photos before it comes to the video, you were already gobsmacked, but the video seals it for you.

Alexia looks flawless, absolutely ethereal in every way. It actually feels like you are living in one of your fantasies or dreams but no this is very much real life and you are actually dating the person on your screen.

There’s no chance you’re going to get any work done, you can’t even get a coherent thought that doesn’t involve Alexia. Alexia’s abs, Alexia’s back, Alexia’s eyes, Alexia’s face, Alexia. You pack up your books and laptop with one thought on your mind, seeing your girlfriend.

Mapi’s private messages to you are filthy, message after message of her reminding your of what is now out in the world and about how now even more people are going to be even more obsessed with her.

You drive home over the speed limit and slightly recklessly, it’s not a long drive from your favourite study spot to you and Alexia’s shared house, but it feels like it drags on for forever. Your knuckles are white from your tight grip on the steering wheel and your unoccupied foot is bounding furiously against your floormat. You run a couple of close yellows, which are mostly red and have a complete disregard for giving way to anybody. You have an end goal, and that goal is to get home before you combust from all of the built up energy and tension in your body from the reruns of the pictures you’d seen.

You’re not even sure if you put the car in park when you swing into the driveway, you practically sprint towards the door, leaving Alexia’s prized cupra to fend for itself. Your hand is so sweaty you struggle with the door knob for a few seconds, your brain is frantic and you struggle and jiggle with it until it finally turns and there is nothing between you and finding exactly what you’re looking for.

Alexia isn’t in the front room, not that she normally would be. You pace your way through the hallway, past your bedroom which seems unoccupied and into the living room.

Alexia.

Alexia is sitting, on your couch, trying to look as nonchalant as possible, though it’s hard to appreciate it with the shit eating grin on her face as she tries to make herself look comfortable and like she’s actually lounging on your couch. Her body is tense, it gives away her whole bravado, you don’t really care though.

“You’re home early? You said you wouldn’t be back till lunch time, no?”

There is no acknowledging of her comment, you take your jacket off and lay it on the edge of the couch before unceremoniously pouncing on your girlfriend.

“I cannot believe you.”

Alexia makes it easy enough for you to straddle her lap, opening up her legs and making plenty of room for you.

You stare into her eyes and all you can picture is the photo of her, the look on her face isn’t dissimilar to the one captured, but it’s not quite the same.

“The campaign? Did I not mention it?”

You roll your eyes before leaning down, alexia goes with ease, her mouth opening up for you as soon as your lips meet hers. It’s all teeth and tongue, not quite a fight for dominance, just pure arousal.

“You’re a brat, and really fucking sexy.”

Alexia smirks against your lips, and then she bites back, her tongue fighting against yours.

“So you like it?”

You move your lips to Alexia’s neck, licking a line down her neck and kissing up it before biting down, foregoing any kind of gentle.

“Do I like my girlfriend looking extremely fuckable on the internet? Jury’s still out on that one.”

Alexia chuckles, leaning her head back to give you full access to her neck.

“Mm, muy fuckable.”

The laugh that leaves her mouth is enough fuel for you to nip her again, sucking a mark right above her collar bone, not directly visible but enough to make her sweat about keeping it hidden at training tomorrow.

“I’m going to need a private show in that outfit at some stage.”

You move back up to Alexia’s mouth, this time the make out is less frantic, you’ve gotten out some of your residual jitters.

“That can always be arranged.”

You tug at the hem of Alexia’s sleep shirt that she still hasn’t gotten out of yet.

“Bed first, fashion show after.”

In the swiftest motion possible Alexia is bringing herself up onto her feet, and lifting you with her. You wrap your legs around her torso, never breaking the makeout.

She makes it to your bedroom at a record speed, dumping you onto the mattress before climbing back on top of you, her shirt being thrown haphazardly into the air somewhere as she lowers herself down. There’s no bra to fight with and you reach for her breasts before her lips are back on you, grabbing and rolling at her nipples until she gets the message and has climbed fully onto the mattress on top of you.

Alexia stays on top of you, making out for a while, until she get’s bored with her hands and decides that you need to mirror her level of undressed. She flips you on top with so much ease that it doesn’t even surprise you, the photos on the internet showed Alexia’s muscles, but they didn’t show just how strong your girlfriend truly was.

Alexia didn’t mess around with your tank top and bra, tugging them off with the same kind of urgency that you’d been in to get back to the house earlier. As soon as the clothes are gone you’re flipped back onto the mattress, Alexia retaking her position. Her hands go straight to your tits, pinching and pulling in a way that makes your back nearly arch off the bed. You’re already aroused from your session in the coffee shop, but this is only adding fuel to the fire.

It takes everything in you not to moan immediately, you clench your jaw and bite your lip as Alexia elicits all different kinds of sensations.

‘Sé ruidoso bebita.”

As per usual, not much gets past Alexia, you try to relax just slightly, let yourself feel it all completely.

“How wet are you going to be when I finally touch your pussy, hm? How wet did my photos get you? All hot and bothered in the coffee shop like a little slut.”

There is no point in shaking your head, you just smirk, you’re proud of it, you’re proud that you get to come home to this and everyone else just has to enjoy Alexia from a far.

“Show me, reach into your panties and show me how wet you are and maybe I’ll think about touching you.”

You hesitate for a second, but then Alexia pinches on of your nipples and rolls your other breast in her hand and your hand naturally moves downwards, your hips canting up as you do so.

Your fingertips are glistening and dripping as you bring them out of your shorts, Alexia doesn’t hesitate to pull them straight into her mouth, sucking all of your arousal straight off.

“Alexia, please.”

Alexia licks her lips in a way that makes you so certain that she’s desperate for more, she’s just as turned on about this as you are.

“Pants off.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth your reaching for them hem of your pants and kicking them off, your panties go with them.

Alexia doesn’t wait, she moves her body downwards until her mouth is hovering right above you.

She looks up at you, hesitates for a second, it’s the exact same face as the photo, beautifully feral.

She doesn’t hold back whatsoever, her mouth goes straight to your clit and you’re already aroused, already dripping everywhere but you reach another level. Your moans are breathy and free falling.

“Fuck baby, feels so good.”

You’re a stuttering mess and far too aroused to try and pretend like you aren’t already close.

Alexia keeps a steady pace, licking and sucking at your clit and occasionally living long strips up from your pussy. It feels so good, earth shattering good.

“Ale, close.”

You expect her to pull back a little bit, normally she likes to prolong your pleasure just a little bit, the wait is worth the reward. But it seems like the both of you are too aroused to ignore the urgency of the situation. Alexia doubles down, her arms pushing your thighs further apart and reaching up behind you to grab at your ass whilst she enjoys having more access.

When you realise she isn’t going to let up you unclench your hands from the sheets and push them into Alexia’s hair, grabbing at the root and pushing her exactly where you want, grinding down against her chin.

It doesn’t take long at all, alread close as it was. Then Alexia grazes her teeth over your clit and doubles down and you see stars. Your body goes with you, shaking and tensing before relaxing as your enjoy the aftershocks. Alexia takes the opportunity, pushing two fingers into you and setting a brutal pace.

“Alexia, need a second.”

Alexia doesn’t stop, if anything she only goes harder, her fingers searching for your g-spot and finding it with ease. The overstimulation makes your stomach tight and yoru clit ache, in the best way.

“Una mas.”

You shake your head, even though it’s blatantly clear you’re going to give her another one, there isn’t really a world where you wouldn’t, not when Alexia makes it so easy to feel so good.

“You can give me one more bebita.”

Alexia’s palm grinds against your clit gloriously, it’s a bit too much for a few seconds but it fades as the pleasure overtakes.

Alexia’s favourite activity is amking you fall apart, watching you experience a kind of pleasure that is unmatchable, all at her own hands. Alexia adds a third finger, knowing that it’ll give you what you need.

It’s more than enough for what you need to reach a release. This time the initial orgasm lasts longer, you tense for a few seconds before you go boneless on the mattress. You melt into the sheets, your head lulling against the pillow as you breathe your way through.

Once you’ve stopped clenching against Alexia she pulls her fingers out, licking up every part of your orgasm, not leaving a single drop behind.

She crawls her way up to you, lying down on her side next to you, looking at the blissed out expression on your face.

Your eyes open lazily, a big smile on your face.

“You’re unreal, literally, how did I get this lucky?”

Alexia leans in, it would be rude to not kiss your lips at every possible chance, especially when your smiling at her like that.

“The real question is how I got this lucky.”

It the same kind of phrase that would elicit vomiting noises from your teammates in the locker room, and yet you love it all the same.

The kiss is soft, everything you need in the moment. It gives you enough confidence to reach your hands down inbetween the two of you, pressing down against Alexia’s front with one intention.

Alexia gasps into your mouth, and it’s enough guidance for you.

You walk your fingers up to the waistband of her pyjama shorts that she still hasn’t changed out of at nearly midday. You trail them down on the inside, unsurprised at her lack of underwear.

Alexia’s wet, the cotton of her shorts sticking to the insides of her thighs.

You part her folds, enjoying the way she moans and gasps into your mouth as you map your way through a different part of her body.

When your fingers find her clit, it’s easy to tell just how turned on she is.

You set a pace of fast tight circles, you’re well educated on Alexia’s body and when she’s this worked up this is the best way to get her to an orgasm.

You know she’s getting closer when her kisses get sloppier and desperate, her lips hang onto yours like they’re becoming an extension of her, like she’s scared that if you separate it’ll take part of her with her.

She shakes and grinds into you, searching for that last bit of stimulation she needs. When she infds it she groans into your mouth, her hips jerking one final time before they go weak, her body goes still for a few seconds. You slow down but don’t come to a full stop, pulling every last bit of her orgasm out for her until she’s tugging your hand out of her shorts.

Alexia presses some soft kisses to your lips before pulling you into her with one arm.

“If that’s what I get every time I take some nice pictures, maybe I should do it a bit more. See if I can get a job with Victoria’s secret or a swimsuit company.”

Alexia doesn’t need to see the look on your face to know exactly how all of your features would clenhc up and your eyes would roll.

“If you do that there will be a whole lot less sex for you and a whole lot more sessions with my vibrator for me. You’re cute, but I’d like to keep some of it for me.”

Alexia snorts, before tugging you in tighter.

“The fans would like it so much though, maybe I should just post some of the photos from the beach over the summer in Ibiza, the topless ones were cute.”

You elbow Alexia straight in the gut.

“How about you model the nike outfits for me first, and then we can decide how far you can take your new found modelling career.”

You’re still in slight disbelief that Alexia managed to keep something this big from you. She was obviously always having ongoing things going with nike, but something this big, and this special was hard to keep underwraps.

“I looked that good, huh?”

You roll even further into Alexia, pressing your whole body into hers.

“Muy bueno. New additions to the wank bank right there.”

You snort when you look over your shoulder and see the confusion on Alexia’s face, her english is good, but her english slang lacks in certain departments.

“Wank bank?”

You snort again, the innocence behind her voice makes it so much better.

“Just my folder for when I’m very alone on camp, and need some extra assistance.”

Alexia’s brain clicks, she laughs, and then the meaning must click in because she blushes beet red.

You stand up, already searching for your forgotten articles of clothing.

“Wait a minute, wank bank? What else is in this folder?”

You’re already tugging your pants on and trying to find your tank top which had apparently vanished into thin air.

“Hopefully whatever new photos I can find in the album of spares that was left over from this shoot.”

Before you can hear what else Alexia says you’re racing off in search of her laptop.

“Wait, I need to see this folder. Bebita, I need my own folder. WHAT IS IN THIS FOLDER.”

—————-

anyways have a wonderful day/night! i love you! somebody out there loves you! you are blessed to have this day and every other one to come <3

[cute-little-fly]

Fuck, I relate so much to this it hurts, but seeing other people have this same experiences makes me feel not so alone on this. I realized I have never told my story so I will use this post to do it.

This is how I felt most of my school and high school years, except for a few friends that I managed to do until sixth grade of school and high school. So, in my case I have had friends, I have known what reciprocated friendship is like and that helped me so much. But I have also felt that sensation of being apart from everyone else by an invisible veil. Is very sad. I would really wish that we could be able to have better education as a society.

Even with all its problems for me school was better than high school. I managed to drag some people on my special interests like ants and insects. We fed them in school and got in trouble. I also managed to make everyone in school have a tamagotchi because I was obsessed with them. They sold them very cheap in the corner store near school. But I had to suffer so much before that, and even after that I struggled to maintain and have friends and still I felt appart sometimes. A lot of students came to my school only one year because their school flooded, then, they went away and I was alone again.

I remember I had this one friend in kinder garden whom I clung as if my life depended on it. Then, on first grade she told me she wanted to have more friends, to go and run and play and that basically she probably didn’t enjoy to spend time with me. I let her go, because she wasn’t forced to be with me all the time and I didn’t played like the other kids and I understood that. But I felt so broken. Even after that I expected that one day she would come back and I tried to. I had some friends during that time, short lived, only one was very close that was the queer guy everyone else bullied. I pretended to be his “girlfriend” sometimes, but we were really friends. Then he was put in other section so we could barely see each other and we started to have other friends, but still we kept in some touch and I didn’t felt the same trauma and rejection than with my other friend.

Then, in sixth grade of school I found my real and first girls friend group, they were all new girls that came from other schools for different life situations. They were trying to make me forget about thar friend (we never kept contact but for years, I still tried to befriend her again and again) until that moment I knew that she didn’t deserved me. My self steem was so low and I still clung to her so badly even if she barely talked to me, and I didn’t cared that she didn’t cared how I felt. My new friends made me see that, so I ended being loyal to them because they were the ones that actually cared for me and accepted me completely. They were the ones that supported me with my ants and tamagotchi. I think that was the best year of my childhood.

High school was ok I guess. At least I knew by that time that trying to be someone I wasn’t was not going to work, and that I could wait until I found my people. So I went alone to the high school library every day to read and play board games alone. I had some friend groups before them but didn’t worked, and they told me that I couldn’t hang up with them anymore. Just because I didn’t wanted to do some performance in class. Then, I met my new friends group there, in the next year, at the library. They were from another year, so I could only see them in breaks and after classes. But, it was ok, better than being alone 100% of the time.

I don’t use this blog for much personal stuff, but here I talk about autism sometimes so I figured that from my other blogs here is where it fits most :).

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

[thecoochiefairy]

juno. onyankopon.

𑄽𑄺 warnings 𑄽𑄺 8.7K word count. blackfem!reader, pregnancy!kink, onyankopon, football player!onyankopon, sweet!onyakopon, dominant!onyankapon, arrogant!onyankopon, unprotected sex, creampie, vaginal penetration, lil bit of sweet talkin’, creaming, praising, LOTS of dirty talk, kinda aggressive dirty talk, oral [f], just a fine ass black man, minors aren’t welcome!

━━ 𝒄𝙤𝒐𝙘𝒉𝙞𝒆𝙛𝒂𝙞𝒓𝙮 𝙩𝒉𝙤𝒖𝙜𝒉𝙩𝒔 .ᐟ to the anon that wanted this idea, i was already on that before you said anything, baby. teehee! this is a continuation of baby phat.

𝓐ᥫ᭡ :: onyankopon wins the super bowl.

visual. visual. visual. visual.

THE SCENT OF STRAWBERRY MILK DAUB'S YOUR SKIN. Suds captured along your curved figure, the warmth from showering now turning your ochre complexion a tone of russet. You were at peace, even with the upcoming excitement of the day thrumming in your chest. 

Maybe your heart wasn’t beating fast. The vibration could’ve been coming from the song, BACKSTREETS, by DON TOLIVER, playing from the speakers instilled in your oversized marble bathroom—a place you complained was nonsensical to have so much square footage—but you couldn’t complain too much of your husbands desires, as he worked hard to achieve the exact lifestyle he wanted. 

Back to being in the bathroom, your peace was interrupted by a sound that made your plump lips release a sigh. Your baby boy crying in the arms of his grandmother as he searched for you. Typical. 

You try to finish getting ready anyways, annoyed with yourself as you feel tears welling within your eyes. Being six months postpartum hadn’t been easy—you loved your baby, attached at the hip like Velcro, as he was to you. You cried when he cried. But maybe it wasn’t all about you. Your baby was his father’s son, missing him just as much as you did. 

Everything happened in the blink of an eye the moment Onyankopon was signed to the New Orleans Saints. He was the team’s youngest quarterback in years. The title produced a leadership the team never had before, calling dominating plays, the ball always within his control—and now, he was leading them to the Super Bowl. 

With this big event coming up, you saw less of him. He only had a day or two to come home, and in that time he’d either sleep, spend as much time as he could with you, his mom, the baby, or sleep. 

Through those frustrating times, you didn’t complain. You always supported his dreams. The minute he knew his team was in the game of champions, he promised to take time off after, and marry you in the Maldives as you dreamed. So you were patient. 

The day had finally arrived—Super Bowl MMXXV. This was your first time being at one of his games in months, used to watching him from home. You were with him up until your pregnancy, Onyankopon not wanting to put you or the baby at risk as he traveled from city to city—in honesty, you were upset at first, and constantly expressed how much you missed him. He just wished you understood that all of this was for you, and your baby boy, Salem. 

You clasp the golden charm bracelet along your wrist, short French tips glossing under the bathroom light as you’d just gotten them done. Shading your lip line with your favorite mixture of dark brown and mauve over your heart shaped lips once more, you play around with burmese curls of your sew-in, letting the hair frame your round face, freckled complexion blush from rushing the finishing touches of your makeup. 

Adjusting your top, the alabaster material drapes effortlessly off your shoulder. The butterscotch crochet of your shorts mold along your round hips, a weight brought on since giving birth. Onyankopon glared at the glow you’d gotten from motherhood—your breasts were more full, your curves were curvier, and your skin was smooth, the scent of vanilla and baby products always wafting. If only you knew how much he craved you.

You wouldn’t call your mother in law dramatic. But you take a deep breath as you can hear her yelping from the kitchen of your condo, making your way downstairs to see her attempting to feed Onyankopon’s Dobermans. She holds the baby in one hand, dipping down and tossing the food into the bowls, the dogs actively watching her panic as they pant excitedly.

You sigh, “Momma—What are you doing?”

“These damn dogs—I can’t handle them!” she stutters, adjusting the baby in her arms as he begins to cry even louder from the disruption of sound. 

She coos, “Oh lawd—Grandma didn’t mean to scare you, baby,” she bounces on her foot, trying to calm him down. 

She then turns her irritation back to you, “Why the hell did Onyankopon get these dogs if he knew he wasn’t gonna be able to take care of them—They’re two big ass horses! They’re trying to attack me!”

“Sit,” you snap your fingers to the dogs, leaning down to clean the spilled chow from her panic, “I already fed them, momma. You ain’t have to let them inside. I know Zulu and Roux scare you.” 

The dogs hike up, sitting properly as they wait for another command. She continues to bounce the baby in her arms, sighing “—I was doing fine ‘til my grand baby started crying for his mama,” she smooches Salem’s face, still a bit frazzled, “I was just trying to help.“

“And I appreciate that, okay? I just wanted you to change Salem before we leave, I know the pre-game starts soon.”

You open the patio to let the dogs back into their play area, sliding it closed as you question, “Did he poop?”

“Just a little—but I changed him a second time. I don't know what's wrong. I’ve been trying all morning while you were getting ready. Boy’s just like his father, don’t know what he wants when he wants it.”

“He wants you, momma. I swear—He just wants some milk. I promise he’s fine,” you open your arms out to take him, “C’mere, pookah,” you playfully pout, “Why’ you doing all that?”

He coos, reaching for you as his grandmother gives him over. His crying immediately subsided as he rested against your chest, tiny fingers playing with the gold pendant around your neck. 

Still in a sour mood, your mother in law reminds, “I hope you bottled up all that milk he’s looking for. Can’t be giving a free show at the Super Bowl.” 

You’re a bit more patient with her since having Salem, but she still managed to annoy the hell out of you at times—she was so adamant on making you do things her way.

You answer, “I pumped some milk last night—three times, so I can make it easier to feed Salem later. Lawd, momma—you being more fussy than the baby! You’ not excited for the game? You know Usher ‘supposed to be performing—that’s your man. You gotta’ jump down from the box, roll on the stage and give it to him!” 

You place the tip of your tongue on your upper lip, playfully rolling your body as you bump your hip with hers, trying to lighten her mood.

She couldn’t resist chuckling, “Don’t be tryna’ show me how you got that baby in the first place. I’m excited—I just wanna make sure we don’t forget anything. Are you ready? Did you pack snacks for that baby? Some extra clothes if he spits up? You know there’s gonna be traffic in the business district.”

You reach over to the black diaper bag, golden fleur-de-lis symbol along the front as you place it over your shoulder, “All his milk is packed, extra diapers, clothes—he’s set for the next five days, momma. Can we go?”

“Alright, alright. I’m done fussing. I’m ready to see Ole Miss get they’  ass whooped, and see Usher! You think he’ll perform "There Goes My Baby?”” 

Your mother in law and baby were dressed similar—her wearing one of your fiancè’s jersey with his name and number, Salem wearing the tiniest jersey to match, miniature army cargos and Nike Dunks on his feet, dark hair already beginning to fro on his head, brown skin and freckled features pulling from both parents—although, Onyankopon’s genetics were much stronger. 

“He better perform that song,” you smack your lips, “That’s the one that got me pregnant! Blame Urshers ass.” 

You were essentially on black people time, planning to make it before the pre-game show, but arriving thirty minutes after it began. The entire street was blocked. Cameras, fans, extensive amounts of media coverage, everyone came together in pure excitement. Security motioned you towards the back of the stadium, having you all on a golf cart as they sped to the higher levels of the building. 

You mentally prepared yourself to run into the group of football wives and their children. It’s not that you had an issue with them, they were just a bit too—bougie for your liking. Most of this group consisted of blonde hair and blue eyed smiles, flipping their locks and popping their gum as they spoke to you.

However, you could appreciate their excitement to see your baby. You put on a smile as you lean Salem towards the group of gushing women, a unison of “Awe!” as he chewed on the small bracelet on his wrist, blubbering nothings as he slobbered on his fingers.

Onyankopon’s mother stood beside you, watching the women crowd your baby boy, some asking to hold him only to have your soft no as an answer. She’d always try to convince you to make friends—but it only made you want to avoid it even more.

Requested by your fiancè, he made sure that everyone was comfortable as you had a private box at the top of the arena. A large sofa, on the other side was a balcony to look out on the field, close enough to the Jumbotron, with an additional tv on the inside to watch the game from any angle. 

A table full of food from tenders, fries, sandwiches—to more southern orientated dishes like beignets, jambalaya, king cake, yakamein and even shrimp etouffee. When you stepped out to the balcony, you could see as people came flooding into their seats from below, watching as the players were on the field practicing, sports reporters talking through the intercom.

The chaos of the stadium was electric. People stood in their chairs, faces painted black and gold, the lights atop glowing purple, green and yellow, hype men throwing beads from the field, dancing along to the cultural music. 

The noise of stomping, booing and cheering ensued as players came upon the screen. It made you anxious, but excited as well. You weren’t one for crowds, but you loved Onyankopon so much, being in the stadium made you feel closer to him.

Player after player, they appeared along the screen with a reaction from the fans—and there he was.

His hair was freshly braided, lineup sharp along the tight style. She could imagine how he complained in the chair. Facial hair around his full lips, dark pink as he reflexively clenched his sharp jaw, pulling his helmet to hold in his palm. The crowd roared at the sight of him. 

He was constructed almost too perfectly. Tall, broad frame, tats swarming along his body in places that only you knew, even the ones that could be seen to everyone else. His lucky number, 74 along the countless other tats on his neck, religious cross on his cheek praising the man he constantly talked to throughout his career. 

The black and gold jersey clung to the gear on his oversized frame, making him bigger than he already was. When he realized that he was on screen, he looked up—and that damn smile appeared. His tongue stuck out towards the camera, raising a muscular arm to pose, hyping himself up as he howled, the crowd returning the noise even louder. It was his signature—they loved him. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, watching as ’ONYANKOPON’ appeared brightly with his stats.

The entire building was roaring so loud, you could barely hear your mother in law as she shook her head, “That damn boy.” 

You hated to admit it—That smile always made you swoon. He could turn you into a completely different person with one look. You watched as he walked towards his teammates who began to slap his helmet, hyping him up with the crowd's excitement. 

Not only were the fans of your fiancè excited, but his biggest fan seemed to give a blubbering screech— Salem recognizes the face of his father as he jumps in your arms,  the sound making you flinch.

“We’re looking through the crowd of familiar faces today—Oh, look at that! It seems the quarterback's fiancè is here with their adorable baby boy!” 

The Jumbotron shows you, leaning against the balcony  as you hold the baby in your arms. The cheers continue as you see yourself, a faint flush on your cheeks as you have no choice but to give a shy wave, heart shaped engagement ring glittering under the lights. You raise up your baby boy’s arm as you swing it back and forth, pointing to the screen for him to see himself.

The Jumbotron shifts from you to Onyankopon. He can’t get enough of you—jeweled smile, dark hair sprawling to your hips, almost able to inhale your scent when thinking about you. You hate how fine he is, running his tongue over his plump lips that turns into a boyish grin at the sight of his family.

That was the last camera on Onyankopon you’d see before it was all on business— he wasn’t just a quarterback with a family anymore. He was leading his team to a championship.

The coin toss was the lethal decision at the beginning of the game, determining who had control of the ball. You heard his voice choose heads, watching as the coin was thrown in the air, dropping down in the same second. 

Tails.

Onyankopon’s team was defensive at the start, giving you the opportunity to calm Salem’s light fussing, startled by all the noise. He laid with his head resting against your chest, looking up at you as he tried to stick his fist inside his mouth. 

Your mother in law sat beside you on the sofa, leaning over to ask, “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you answer softly, brushing a curly strand of hair away from Salem’s face as he tugged at your shirt, “He just doesn’t like all the noise. Should’ve bought him some ear plugs.”

“He’s looking for that nipple—“ she interrupts herself,  gasping at the screen, “Look! There he goes!” 

Onyankopon forms a stance as both teams break, searching for where to pass the ball from the line. A wide receiver manages to sneak through a guard. Onyankopon sees this and chucks the ball towards the player, him catching it perfectly in stride as security attempts to tackle him—he’s moving, fast, the both of them on the same wavelength as he runs yards across the field.

“WE HAVE OUR FIRST TOUCHDOWN OF THE GAME!”

 Your mother in law was yelling his full name, jumping up and down in the air at his first point scored, going off with the crowd that rumbled the entire stadium with their cheers. She leans down to shake your shoulder, making you giggle at her excitement. 

Your anxiety had spiked from that coin toss, but you had no doubt in your fiancè—especially as you saw him have control of the ball for a second time, and now, he was running himself down the field. Your eyes went wide as he ducked and dodged players flying towards him, everyone rising to their feet in doubt that he’d make it all the way to the end. 

You hand your baby over to his grandmother, flying to the balcony with wide eyes, unable to help yourself watch with everyone else.

He was moving at full speed down the pitch, a ball tucked underneath his right arm as the offensive line covered him, blocking the way for opposing players as they attempted to tackle him down. He runs with ease, barely able to register his surroundings as he makes it to the end zone, the entire stadium screaming his name, shaking the floor beneath you. He’s able to dodge yet another tackle, diving down into the end zone— the crowd went insane.

“TOUCHDOWN!—And that’ll put the Saints in a two-point lead as he scores! Now if that’s not the sweetest thing I’ve seen!” 

He’s standing there, cocky in the best way as his teammates run towards him—celebrating as they slap his helmet, hug his large frame, slamming their palms together in repetitive applause. You’re jumping in your spot like a schoolgirl, clapping your hands with a shout, unable to contain your excitement.

The other team was pissed. 

It was a good game for the next couple of hours. It was up and down, both teams playing to their best ability, unfortunately being trumped by your home team. They were just too good, especially being led by such a quarterback. Salem’s fussing had also subsided, now more playful than anything, his grandmother unable to take her eyes off the field while her grandson attempted to stand in her lap. 

“Say-Say, baby. Stay down, you can try to stand up later,” She pushes gently on his shoulders as he throws his body up, babbling nothings, the noise almost blocking out the roar of the stadium. 

Nearing towards the end—things were beginning to change. Your fiancè was on the bench as they called a timeout, begrudgingly wiping his face. He could feel his body begin to burn from the physical activity. His chest heaved, but his eyes were still focused in the game. 

The opposing team was up by a single touchdown and the timer was coming to an end. Onyankopon was pissed. He wants the ball. He needs it as the defensive line goes on the field. His deep voice rumbles as he calls out his players, knocking sense into them, cussing in ways you heard when he was incredibly serious. Competitive was an understatement.

When the timer begins, he calls for a pass, a deep ball down the field to his wide receiver, who was covered by one of the best defenders in the entire league. The crowd yells, his teammates doing the same, Onyankopon being doubled by one of the defensive players. 

It doesn’t matter—he’s caught it. Down for one, at the three yard line. The stadium goes crazy for the pass. One more time—the play clock ticking down, he calls for the ball again. Another pass on the opposite side of the field to a wide receiver, caught perfectly. No one could move at this point—the clock running its final seconds, the crowd chanting the same three numbers. Onyankopon’s heart is pounding in his chest so harshly, he can hear his own blood pump behind his ears. 

Two seconds on the clock, he calls for the ball again.

The snap, Onyankopon drops back into the pocket, he scans the field before tossing the ball towards a receiver at the back corner of the end zone. You watch as the entire stadium erupts. His teammates are on the field, running towards him with screams of victory as they run for the end zone. You can hear his deep, joyous laughter over the roaring spectators as he stands there, arms raised in the air as he gives the biggest bellow he’d ever made. The stadium is trembling. 

They’d won.

The moments of world renowned joy—it was rare to feel something like that. Your mother in law is so busy screaming that you take notice at the last minute of the security wanting to guide you downstairs to the field, and you’re itching to get to your fiancè. Your hands practically shake as you scoop up your baby boy, rushing over to the golf cart to be taken where everyone celebrates.

They’re hollering like schoolboys, roughhousing with each other—tossing Gatorade onto their coach. Black and gold streamers drop down onto the field, emotions in every part of the arena.

As you’re taken outside, you hold your baby close to your chest as it’s like a mosh pit. The security has to lightly shove people out the way to get you towards the middle of the field where the team stands, your free hand holding your mother in laws. 

That’s when you see him. It’d felt like months, even if it was only three days. He’s being interviewed by multiple people, hand reflexively holding the top of his gear, leaning down to meet the height of the woman that politely talks to him. You can see the way he makes anyone nervous, the woman smiling and giggling as he answers her questions, a giddy smirk on his face like no other. It made you happy to see him in the spotlight. He belonged there. 

You were never afraid to let him have his shine. You were patient, watching as he was on his fourth interview. On the other hand, your mother in law wasn’t so graceful about waiting.

“You just carried your team to a Super Bowl win, Onyankopon. How do you feel?”

He’s sweating bullets and out of breath, but he keeps his composure. Pulling the bottom of his jersey up, exposing his toned stomach as he wipes his face.

He lets out a deep, breathless chuckle, “Shit is crazy, not gon’ lie. I can only thank my team, the people that support me. My family, god. He’s always gon’ keep me together. A nigga is grateful for everything in this life.” 

You can’t help but smile at his words, hating that you feel yourself becoming emotional. You loved this man so much. 

“And how will you be celebrating tonight?” 

You didn’t think he’d seen you standing there. But he looks directly at you, that hungry grin along his face as he grunts, “I’m gon’ start by seein’ my baby, lovin’ on my wife. That’s really all the shit I need.”

He leans closer to the camera, “Y’all be safe out there—and don’t be acting like niggas, tearing up the city—ion’ wanna see none of that shit!”

The interview gives one more congratulations, leaving him be. You allow your mother in law to trap him in a hug first, swinging him from side to side, “I’m so happy for you, sweetheart! Give thanks to god!”

“All praises to the highest—“ he lets out a chuckle, pulling her into his arms, her head only reaching his chest. In his mothers fashion, she begins rambling as she grabs his chin, “You gon’ keep all this hair on your face? Did you even get a haircut?—“

“See, I knew you was gon’ act like this. Imma’ give you one more hug, and you gotta let me see my girl, momma.”

She kisses him on the cheek as she pulls away, taking Salem into her own arms. You have no time to process before he lifts you off the ground, palms groping your ass with a grunt in your ear that you wrap your arms around his neck reflexively, squealing—“Onyankopon!”

He’s careless that there’s thousands of people around him, in your ear as he gruffly says, “I missed you bad as fuck. I missed this big ass,” he squeezes it in his hands, making you giggle even more, “Missed that beautiful face. You can’t be away from a nigga for that long. That ain’t gon’ happen again—you hear me?”

“I hear you,” you roll your eyes, “You won!” you shriek, wrapping yourself tighter around him, “Your first ring, baby!”

It felt surreal—he wasn’t sure what he felt, still stunned that they’d won an entire championship. His emotions were on a rollercoaster, his chest thumping like a drum as he pulled back, pressing his forehead against yours. His deep voice shakes a bit as he chuckles, leaning down into you to hide the emotions he feels.

It was extremely rare for Onyankopon to get like this. The last time you’d seen it, he held Salem for the first time. He was a man full of gratitude, and it was all hitting him at this moment. You quickly run your thumb under his eye, giggling as tears form in your own vision. 

“I love you,” you say softly, in the midst of chaos around you.

He presses his trembling lips against your own, the heat of his breath making you dizzy as the butterflies in your body flutter wildly. He’s hungry as he takes every part of your lips, finding a grip on your throat as he’s dropping his tongue in your mouth.

“Boy, come hold this baby and quit tryna’ make another one!”

Your mother in law's voice comes between the two of you. Another soft giggle comes from you as you pull back, running your fingers along the braids in his hair as Salem reaches out to his father.

“I hear you, Momma. Lawd.” 

He immediately pulls away, the most tender and gentle expression you’d ever seen on him as he scoops Salem out of his mother’s arms, cradling him close to his face as he snuggles him. This was something you wished you could put on pause. His big hand cups your son’s entire body, giving gentle kisses to his forehead, the baby cackling out giggles.

“You know he screeched when you came on the Jumbotron?” You tell him, attempting to pull Salem’s fist from his mouth.

He’s distracted, unable to tear his eyes from Salem as he pulls him in close, “Yeah? You see yo’ daddy, baby? What you’ think of this?” 

He’s bouncing him in his arms, holding his head as he moves Salem to see everyone in the stadium, “Awe, baby—he ain’t gon’ remember all this.”

You rub his shoulder, “That’s okay, he sees you, Ony. He’s gonna remember that.”

His hand finds the small of your back, tugging you close to his side as he continues to coo at Salem, “I need to get y’all home soon.”

“You’re not going out with the team?” You question, a small frown on your face, “I thought you’ was saying all that for the cameras.”

He looks at you, “You think I wanna be with grown ass men over spending time with my family? Where’s yo’ mind at?”

You roll your eyes. Taking Salem back into your arms, “Whatever, nigga. Go do yo’ last little interviews, imma’ go call a car for your mom, I know she wants to go home.”

“I ain’t gon’ be long—like ten-fifteen minutes,” he presses a kiss under your chin, kissing the forehead of his baby boy before taking off to where the team took photos.

You look over to your mother in law, who has the same look as you, knowing that ten to fifteen minutes was damn sure a lie. 

You raise an eyebrow, “You wanna wait?”

“Girl, call his driver and get me home. I’m not waiting on his big headed ass.”

You laugh, listening nonetheless.

When the chaos of the night comes to an end—you’re back where you imagined being for the past couple of days. You stare out the window from the top floor of your condo, seeing the city twinkling beneath the stars, colors flashing from business buildings to represent the city’s celebration. It could’ve been a completely different night—you and Onyankopon could’ve been with the city, partying, drinking until your organs collapsed.

But you were here. Within your shared bedroom, Onyankopon laid out on the bed, scrolling through twitter and watching the shit-show happening on Canal street.

“They go so crazy in the boot,” he chuckles, “You see this shit, baby? Niggas on street poles—they busted a window at a Chase bank!”

You continue brushing your teeth, staring out the window and watching the fireworks going off in the sky. 

“Boy, don’t be acting like if I ain’t give you the green light you wouldn’t be out there acting an ass too.”

“That’s a big if. You ain’t never gon’ give me the green light. You like to keep me all cooped up.” 

He gets up from his spot and walks over to you, taking a seat in the bay window as he pulls you in between his legs, “You think I’m lyin’?”

“So you wanna go out?” You raise an eyebrow, “I heard your players was finna’ go out to Visions to celebrate,” you refer to the gentlemen's club, “That’s what you was’ tryna do? Oh, aight. Go out with your lil’ funky ass friends then,” you roll your eyes, wanting to finish off your nightly routine.

“Come on, you gotta know I’m bullshittin’,” he tugs you back closer to him, “You ain’t gon’ be nice to me? I just won the damn Super Bowl.”

You briefly step into the bathroom to wash out your mouth, wiping the bottom of your now bare face. You sigh, “You could’ve gone out if you wanted to, Ony. I was just gonna come back and pass out with Salem.”

“I know you missin’ my touch. C’mere.”

Onyankopon had a bad habit of liking you more in this state. Freckles cover your nose and cheeks as you’d wiped all your makeup off, curls dangling around your face. The dark tresses hung from the claw clip you’d lazily stuck in there, trying to pull your hair out the way as you fed Salem earlier, wearing a white tee that hugs your upper half, midriff showcasing between your white panties. He couldn’t stop playing with the lace bow on the front of the cotton material. 

Fuzzy Saints socks pulled the look all together—you were perfect. 

He breathes low, fingers gently gripping your hips, “See, you got me feeling lonely. I need you with me, baby. Fuck allat’ club shit.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, giving him a hum as you lean close to his mouth, “You only want me, huh?”

“Don’t play. You know you’ my good luck charm.” 

You’re too pretty in the moonlight for him to resist. He holds you close, pulling your mouth to meet his as he kisses you slowly—But of course, the moment is interrupted as you hear the sound of fussing. 

You pull your mouth back, exhaling a bit. You sigh, “I didn’t pump tonight, so I gotta go finish feeding him.”

He groans, hands sliding down to cup at your ass as he holds you close, “Can’t you just let him cry a lil’ bit?”

You raise an eyebrow, “Would you like me to not feed you?”

His chuckle is slight, looking up into your serious stare, “That’s different, he ate not too long ago.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have given him the appetite you have, hm?” You give him a peck on the lips, “Don’t be talkin’ bout my baby!” You exclaim, disappearing out of the bedroom with that. 

It takes longer than you anticipate to feed your baby, burp him, and finally get him in his crib. After a little bit of fussing, his eyes drift as he lays along his stomach, pacifier in his mouth as he drifts off, warm in a soft blue onesie.

You groan a bit as you make your way back towards the bedroom. Your chest was aching. The lights were now off, a box fan blowing comfortingly in the corner—the only light casting within the room now was from the moon. You can see the reflection of Onyankopon’s phone on his face, knowing this was his routine before he passed out. You couldn’t blame him for it.

You say quietly as you close the door, “Salem’s asleep.” 

The comforting sound of the fan continues to blow. You then have a thought, slowly pressing your knees against the bed as you begin crawling towards him.

“Daddy…”

He immediately says, “Nuh-uh. You only do all that when you want sum.’ I just won the Super Bowl. Leave me alone.” 

You roll your eyes, groaning, “I only had a question.”

“You got a question, huh?” 

You’re already tugging at his arm until he caves in, tossing his phone to the side with a sigh, “Aight, aight. You got my undivided attention, all that bullshit.”

“Since you’re in such a good mood, can we talk about getting me a breast lift again? And before you say it—I don’t need all that self love bullshit,” you cover his eyes, not wanting to see his reaction.

“Girl, don’t start with me.” 

His fingers tug at your hand until he removes it from his face, holding onto your arms, “I’m not tryna’ argue with you right now, forreal.“ 

“It shouldn’t have to be an argument,” you protest, “Salem is sucking me dry, all he wants is the nipple.”

“I told yo’ ass to take him off the titty, you ain’t wanna listen,” Onyankopon murmurs, placing his hands behind his head, looking up at you through the moonlight. 

You flick his nose, “It’s normal for a six month old to still be breastfeeding, Ony!”

“Yeah, you’ right,” He sighs, glancing at you with a lazy smile, “I’m not sayin’ no, you got a point. I just don’t wanna have this discussion right now, aight? You gon’ have to give me some time to think about it.”

You roll your eyes, “They’ll still be my real boobs, I’m just gonna have them sit up. Although, wouldn’t I look good with some implants? Like them’ big ass anime girl boobs? Imagine!” You place his hands on your chest, “You’ll have so much more to grab!”

“You do like to be on bullshit, huh?” He squeezes softly, “You playin’ dirty, that’s foul. You gon’ have to come to me with a serious argument.”

“This is my argument. You’ not feelin’ good enough. Don’t they feel like two raisins? Exactly!” You blow out a breath, “You know, I wouldn’t be this difficult if you asked to get your dick bigger or something.”

“That’s ‘cause my shit fat,” your body jerks as he gives a smack to your ass, “You makin’ my head hurt.”

You giggle evilly, “Good,” as you roll onto your side of the bed, pressing your back against his chest, scooting back to spoon yourself into his body. You sigh at the immediate warmth, feeling as he nuzzles his face into your shoulder.

He hums, eyes closed as he wraps his body around yours, holding you close, “Go to sleep. I know you’ tired.”

“I know you’ tired.” 

“Oh, aight. So we just gon’ argue all night.”

You roll your eyes at that. Silence goes between the both of you, and you think he might be asleep. You adjust yourself in his hold, turning yourself on your back to be able to face him, but still keeping yourself beneath his arms. 

“You know how much I love you?”

Your voice is soft, barely audible.

A lazy kiss to your cheek.

A hum.

“Let me guess.”

“Mm?"

A sleepy, deep chuckle. 

“As much as I love you?”

You smile a bit, “Maybe a lil’ more than that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” 

“You love me the most-est,” you kiss his nose. 

“I love you the most-est. We’ cool?” 

You find that in the darkness, it’s possible to find every little line and fold in his face. His eyelashes, his nose, and his lips. They’re all beautiful.

You lean your face down, giving him the softest kiss in response. Your noses brush together a bit, your soft giggle huffing through your mouth.

He kisses you back. His chest rumbles in a quiet, deep chuckle, eyes remaining closed as you pull away. You find them opening slowly, staring with a gaze that makes you feel like you’re in a movie. 

“You tryna’ start sum?”

Your body goes warm at the question. Your lower half throbs, but you never knew how to…say that exactly. You adjust yourself, separating your thighs a bit as you shake your head, “No. Salem’s a light sleeper, you know that.”

You move an inch, but he’ll follow you with his eyes. 

“Right. That’s why you doing allat’ movin’.”

The moon is moving away from your window, making it even darker than before. You can’t see him, but you can feel his body. His presence, his aura. 

You exhale a bit, breath uneven as you say, “Go to sleep, Ony.”

His hand traces over your hip, up and down. You can feel his eyes on you, staring and searching the outlines of your body.

“You gon’ say what’s on your mind?”

It’s like he flashes in your mind all at once. His smile, his laugh, his arrogance on the field, the love he had for Salem, the glare he gave you when he—

“…Just a lil’ restless,” you say softly. 

No response, nothing for a short moment. That’s when you feel your head being nudged up a bit, his lips beneath your chin, gently dragging his mouth over your neck. The feeling makes you swallow, frowning as you gently adjust yourself again. 

You can feel his lips and tongue on your skin. He’s going agonizingly slow, not moving any lower than your neck, and it’s driving you crazy. 

You attempt to press your hand along his jaw to halt his movements, but as you do, he finds that spot. It’s the area right under your ear, in between your neck. It makes your eyes roll, your body trembling in response. You’re unethical as you whimper, “O—Ony, I don’t wanna wake up Salem…”

He’s now on the other side of your neck, still agonizingly slow in his affection. You can feel his patience thinning, as his lips drag onto your shoulder next. 

“You think you can keep quiet for me?”

That warmth in your body returns as Onyankopon lifts his face, meeting his tongue with yours, catching your lips under his mouth. You give a light gasp, pulling your face back a bit from the embarrassment of being that reactive—another unfortunate side effect that came after pregnancy.

”C’mon, Mama. Gimme’ yo’ mouth.” 

You listen—even as your body shudders, whining softly with a push back against his lips, his kiss consuming you. Your mind is fuzzy at this point. 

“There you fuckin’ go.” 

Your lips are met with a wet sound. He’s sloppy in his kiss. His tongue moves along your own, warm thumb brushing along your cheek, dragging over your throat, up until it’s at the bottom of your tee, tugging the fabric up to place along your collarbone. The top sits right above your breasts, Onyankopon already lowering himself, sucking your brown nipples in between his lips in repetitive pops, grunting each time the soft skin hardened below his mouth.

You attempt to slow him down as you arch yourself opposite of his mouth, which travels between the dip of your chest, tracing down to the ink scattered along your stomach. This position was a terrible idea—his mouth was all over you now, hands firm and demanding, your lower body tingling.

You can sense the pressure building within your stomach which makes your breathing grow more uneasy as your whole body tries to cope, but fails with each kiss he leaves—he’s going lower, lower…

It’s as if being in complete darkness somehow made things more intimate. You can’t see him, but you can imagine his eyes on you—lustful, coaxing—he’s scooting your lower body closer to his broad shoulders, your pedicured feet dipping in the sculpted muscles of his back as he spreads your thighs open, his warm mouth re-introducing itself as he’s dragging his tongue on your ankle, leading up to sucking your toes in his mouth. 

“Got a nigga needing you.”

At his admiration, you give him your whimper quietly—secretly. He knows it was there as he starts between sucking your toes, teasing, causing you almost to wince as you bite against your bottom lip—the warmth surrounds your ankle from him sucking at the arch of your foot.

You move uncomfortably in your pleasure as he pulls his tongue over the same area again—the throbbing between your legs becoming more harsh as he tugs at the curve of your foot, giving you goosebumps. 

He knew you loved his mouth. Couldn’t stand it, almost. His tongue could take you to heights only sex toys could've attempted, making his mouth a formidable competition. Yet, as amazing as he made you sound—his groans, his talking pushed you farther than anything else, leaving your ears constantly ringing. 

As his mouth was your guilty pleasure, your scent was his. A milky vanilla, it was like some type of aphrodisiac pheromone. He circles his tongue over your ankle before pulling it back to his shoulder, lowering himself down to meet with your inner thighs. 

He’s grunting, “Always smell so muhfuckin’ good, baby.”

Another baby gasp is taken as his beard tickles along the sensitive skin near the back of your knees, forcing shivers up your spine as his tongue explores further along, his grunt dragging a jolt up the soft flesh on your legs. 

Your soft sounds echoed throughout the darkness as your lower lip became a captive against your own teeth. Ony was tasting at the edge of your inner thigh now, his beard brushing against the same spot on your skin, almost predatory as he dragged his tongue across the seam.

This was dangerous territory—especially when he growled at the syllables to his name from your lips, you breathily panting, “B—baby…” 

The anticipation grew larger for you by each second, inch he moved, becoming too loud to be masked anymore within the silence that enveloped the pair of you. There would soon be tears coming, you knew that.

And here they were. They form lightly in your eyes, and you hate that. You sniffle through the darkness, clasping his braided hair as you spread your legs a bit, “Ony, please…”

The desperation within those words, mixed with your softness that clung onto his fingertips made him arrogant. His hand presses between the cradle of your thighs, pulling you up to a point where his warm breath huffs against the entirety of you. He can imagine your pussy—bubblegum pink, camouflaged by the brown of your outer lips—pretty.

“You gon’ be loud?”

You press your fingers into your mouth, shaking your head in the darkness. Your body jolts as his palm effortlessly pops your ass, the skin shaking as he grunts, “Use that fuckin’ mouth, girl. ‘Know you hear me talkin’.”

You shake your head as you whimper, “Can’t, Ony. Don’t wanna wake the baby.” 

It’s right as you finish that sentence. He gives your clit the softest kiss, letting his lips hold the nub in between them, savoring the tremble your body does in response. He spreads his tongue over you slowly, almost testing the ripeness, grunting, “Ooh, shit. Why this shit tastin’ like that?” 

His head tilted to consume more, Ony losing himself, his chin bobbing his mouth as he’s groaning, becoming lost in what he’s doing. The back of your palm meets with your mouth, turning your face into the pillow as your eyes screw shut. They roll all at the same time, feeling your hand tremble above your face as you whine, “O—oh my g…”

Each leveled sound causes his eyes to half-lid in satisfaction, making the pitch black around you almost rotate as he goes on. You were soft. Ony pushed against you to eat you better, lifting you off his shoulders at moments just to bring you down onto his face, chasing to smother himself in your taste.

Your folds are being spread open by his tongue, clit encapsulated by the raindrops of your saliva, hood pulled back as he sucks on it abrasively—your legs are shaking. 

You hold onto his hair as your chest heaves, back to panting, “S—slow baby…mmph…”

“Quit allat’. Keep it up, I’m finna’ have you cryin’ on my face.”

He never told you anything twice. Even with his words, he gives into your plea. Slightly. Ony lets off for a bit, letting you drown in his beard, before he drags his tongue back up to its peak, latching onto your clit like a pacifier.

Onyankopon takes you slow, as slow as you like now as his eyes watch yours in the pitch black. His lower face is wet, your pussy catching the mess of your arousal, coating a sheen against itself, reflecting back in Onyankopon’s facial hair.  

You hated how shy he made you, as if you weren’t going to marry this man soon. You’re bolder through the darkness as you beg, “Want your tongue in me, Ony…”

His tongue draws circles around your opening, your head coming up to watch, even if you can’t see. He’s pushing his tongue inside. He curses at the twitch in response—God. Your walls quiver, sucking around the thickness, molding in response to the texture of his tongue.

He could linger here all night—he’s moaning, overshadowing your whine of pleasure, his mouth plunging back down for yet another stroke into your pussy, arousal gushing around his lips, spurring fleshy sounds as your eyes roll back, “Fuck,” you almost sob, “Fuck…”

“Takin’ my mouth like some muhfuckin’ dick. Nasty ass bitch, just fuckin’ my face,” he can’t stop moaning to you, “Keep fuckin’ me.”

He continuously brings you onto the tip of his tongue, thrusting into your heat as if trying to get you to flood. He eats, slurping up your spillage like a dessert, a reward he could argue is better than his championship—he deserved you. 

It’s as if the both of you are addicts—feening for another fix. He lifts himself from between your legs as he crashes his mouth against yours, able to taste yourself off his tongue.

You’re sloppy as you kiss each other, Onyankopon’s large frame hovered over yours in an almost terrifying manner, locking your legs back along his shoulders. His tip smacks along your clit, the weight of his length always leaving a presence against your pussy, even when it was gone, even when he was away. 

This was always the most difficult part for you. But you were so wet, you hoped you wouldn’t do much complaining today. You pull your mouth back as you press your forehead against his, hand along the side of his face, breathing slightly into his mouth. He digs his forehead into yours as he takes one of your hands above your head, intertwining your fingers as his other is holding up your leg—Onyankopon dropping in, stretching your folds as he slowly sinks into your pussy. Your eyebrows furrow a bit, holding onto his face tighter. Your breathing is more labored than before, and the moment you feel him curving for your cervix, you gasp, pulling his face closer to yours, a sloppy moan rushing from your mouth, thighs trembling at the discomforting pleasure.

“Gimme’ my fuckin’ pussy,” he grunts, “This shit mine, actin’ like it’s not,” Another ravenous pull that caused him to grunt as he slowly bucked his hips—stretching your folds until he bottomed out, sinking in against your walls fully.

Your moans were chaotic. You found yourself reaching for his shoulder, digging your nails into the skin as he lowered himself more, growling, “Better gimme’ that shit,” tears within your eyes as you whined, eyes rolling back as you relaxed for him.

You had no choice but to let him get this deep into your stomach. You’re trying to tuck your face in your shoulder, his strokes long, the slowness making it all the more evil.

He had a hold of your hips, almost cradling you within his hold, slamming you down onto his dick. As much as you said he loomed above you, Onyankopon knew he encased you. He could smell his son off of you sometimes—just another reason to bring his hands underneath you—burying himself deeper, lips near yours, sucking against your chin in a feigned fashion. 

You gave a pathetic cry, pulling him even closer, “Onyyy…”

“You got my dick in yo’ fuckin’ stomach,” he teases breathily above your lips, his fingers crusading against the plump flesh on your thighs, coaxing you to open wider for his greed.

“You feelin’ it, huh?” 

He won’t stop talking. It’s because he knows he has you right where he wants you. You’re quieter than he’d want you to be, but it’s because you’re cumming, nearly pushing his dick out as you feel yourself coating his entire length. Your eyes haven’t resurfaced to the darkness as they’re still in the back of your head. 

You pout, “You’re so fucking deep, Ony…I love you,” you promise to him, sniffling as you listen to your skin slapping against his, “I love you…”

“I love you too, Mama. Keep talkin’ to me.”

He didn’t care if you were already this stupidly drunk because of him. He needed you lost. 

If you thought this was the hardest part of his offense, wait until he flipped you onto your side—your knees close to your chest, Onyankopon’s left arm holding your hip, beginning to tug you down onto his length, ass ricocheting off his abdomen. Your body feels exhausted, your curls masking over your face, unable to have the energy to move them as you could only take his strokes.

“You hear me?” He repeats, arrogance feigning, “A nigga love you. You’ gon’ give me another baby?”

Your eyes are rolled back for the umpteenth time, turning your head a bit to feel him from the darkness, frowning from how much pleasure fills your body. 

You can’t help but ramble back to him, “Gonna give you another baby, Ony. Promise.”

His hips are smacking into your ass—hard, hard enough to send ripples of pleasure that course down to your ankles.

“You gon’ marry me?” He questions, sliding his hand up to reach your throat, using that as leverage to drop you down onto him, the connecting skin wet, slapping together in a symphony, “Ain’t finna’ give my pussy away?”

“This your pussy, Daddy,” you whimper to him, cheeks flushed, knowing he had you talking crazy. You hold onto the pillow below your head, “Gonna’ marry you, baby…so proud of you…”

“You proud of me, baby?”

“Mhm,” you whine softly in response, to which he replies,”I’m proud of you, Mama. Takin’ dick like a fuckin’ pro. Gon’ be a pretty ass momma all over again. Gon’ give me a lil’ girl.”

His words, the love he carries—being a father, being a husband, being a man. You wanna give him as many babies he wants. You want to spend the rest of your life with him.

You sob, “Cum in me. Cum in me, Ony…”

"Quit beggin' for my cum. Take it.”  

He groans, speeding up, stretching you so wide with every hit against your cervix, even feeling that faint pain doesn't ruin the waves building as you cum again. He pushes himself forward, pulling your hair out your face as he nastily kisses you, moaning, an action filled with affection, lust, love.

The pleasure you give to each other is like no other this time around. It might’ve gotten so good—too good. He hovers atop of you, breathing heavily as you feel that familiar warmth fill your walls.

You pull his mouth closer as you repeat for the thousandth time, “I love you, Onyankopon.”

He’ll kiss you, a bit harder in response. His words are mumbled over your lips. 

“I love you so much fuckin’ more, girl.” 

When you go to return his kiss one more time—the baby monitor screeches—Salem’s cry interrupting you both. You press your forehead against his chest, giggling softly.

Onyankopon lets out a small sigh, chuckling in response to your amusement. 

“I got him, Mama. Gon’ head and go to sleep.” 

He finally turns on the lamp beside the bathroom, planting another kiss along your forehead before standing from the bed.

You lay your head along the pillow as you watch him search for his basketball shorts, unable to help but watch his bare body move around the room, back muscles flexing naturally. 

When he turns back as he feels your eyes, you drop them directly to his dick as you innocently question, “What?”

Onyankopon smirks, amused at your lingering gaze—pulling on his shorts, concealing his lower half.

“I thought you was’ tired? I ain’t do my job?”

You were exhausted, but your tired daze had you smiling at him, and maybe you were still a little horny. 

You give him those eyes, “I am. I’m just watching.”

“You gon’ keep getting pregnant with them’ eyes. You’ need another round? Cause we can really have a Super Bowl: Champions of Dick—“

“No, jesus. I’m going to sleep. Go feed my child.”

“I ain’t got no milk in my chest!” 

“Onyankopon.”

“Aight, aight. You love me?”

“Mhm.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

“Positive?”

“Onyankopon!”

“Aight, lawd. Bye.”

[juniperskye]

Come bother me, baby.

Based on the following post: Inspo  you are the bane of young Aaron's existence - back when he was just an agent under Gideon and Rossi. A pain in his ass…so when you transfer to avoid your feelings for him, he begs you to come back. Okay listen, I know that Hotch didn’t really work under Rossi in the beginning, as Rossi had already left…but we’re all gonna pretend for the sake of this fic. Also – Haley just never existed in this, and that’s ok.

Aaron Hotchner x BAU! Fem Reader

Fluff

Word count: 4164

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, female reader, she/her pronouns, age gap (Hotch is 28 and reader is 25), some explicit language, canon typical violence, mentions of case details, reader has experienced the loss of her parents, mention of holidays, mention of food/eating. Mention of reader being a mom, inaccurate timelines, let me know if I missed anything!!!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

July 1993

The year was 1993, Jason Gideon and David Rossi were just granted permission to hire two agents to expand the team. They agreed that they would each pick an agent, that way there’d be no room to argue. They interviewed a total of 17 potential candidates, 13 of those were interviewed by Rossi and the other 4 by Gideon.

Aaron Hotchner had been the 7th file in Rossi’s stack, it was an impressive resume, one that was filled with cases he’d worked as a prosecutor, and then a number of cases he’d worked as a profiler in the Seattle Field office. He now was here in Quantico, Virginia, hoping to gain a spot on the BAU. To Rossi, Aaron had stood out amongst the others, he’d sat through all 13 interviews, and nobody could match the passion for this position like Aaron had. It had been an easy choice.

You had been the 2nd file in Gedeon’s stack, and honestly he’d been let down by his first candidate…so when you walked in, more than qualified for this position, he excused the other two candidates.  He didn’t feel the need to interview them, his gut told him you were the right choice. Your file had been padded with your numerous degrees varying from bachelor's degrees in psychology and criminology, to a master’s degree in forensic psychology, ending with a PhD in psychology. For the last year you’d been working in the Phoenix field office as a profiler. And while you didn’t have a ton of field experience, Gideon had been thoroughly impressed with your tenacity and overall enthusiasm for the profession.  

--

September 1993

Things had started off okay…mostly. Aaron definitely treated you like you were a child, though you were only three years younger than him. While you’d spent a lot of time expanding your knowledge of this field, Aaron had worked as a prosecutor immediately after his completion of law school. You weren’t sure why he thought he was so much better than you…you were a doctor after all.

It had started in the most dismissive way possible. You’d accidentally spilled your coffee at the round table, it had spread fast, covering his copy of the latest case file. You apologized immediately, offered him your copy while you went to print another. He shook his head at you, muttering something along the lines of you being young and unprofessional.

You had thought about going to Gideon to complain but ultimately decided against it. It would only make him see you as more of a child. So, you’d worked your ass off to prove yourself, you needed to show him that you were an asset to the BAU and not a liability.

--

May 1994

“I think this unsub is female.” You stated confidently.

“Are you insane?” Aaron scoffed.

“Before you completely dismiss me Hotch, hear me out.”

“Don’t call me that.” He hissed.

You had to physically wipe the smirk from your face before explaining your theory to the team. You’d pointed out how meticulous everything had been, how much care had gone into the murders and the disposals.

“If we really break everything down, it’s all done with so much care. The bodies haven’t just been dumped, they’ve been cleaned, redressed, and neatly placed in beautiful locations. The field of flowers, the hillside, by the art installation at the park.” You’d gestured to the photos pinned on the corkboard.

Looking around you could see the impressed look Gideon was wearing, it was bordering smug as he turned his gaze over to Rossi with a nod. Rossi couldn’t do anything other than shrug – you’d made a good point, who was he to question your expertise. But then there was Aaron…he was looking around in disbelief, nobody was even going to question it?

Aaron was pissed that you had been right. Three days after that briefing, you taken Helena Murphy into custody. She had lost her siblings in a car accident when she was in her teens, and a recent fender bender had been her trigger. She’d been taking the lives of young people who had resembled her siblings and laid them to rest somewhere beautiful…unlike the highway guardrail that had ultimately taken her family from her all those years ago.

Gideon and Rossi both gave you kudos for narrowing down the profile the way you had. The police officers at the Milwaukee PD had congratulated you and subsequently thanked you for your hard work. Aaron wouldn’t even look at you.

Needless to say, the flight home was tense.

--

August 1994

“Ugh it is soooo hot!” You whined, fanning yourself with a loose manila folder.

“Would you stop that?” Aaron asked.

“Stop what?” You feigned innocence.

“Bothering me! Your fanning is blowing all my papers around, just cut it out.” He huffed.

“Sure, thing Hotch.” You offered a sickly-sweet smile.

“Don’t call me that!” He shook his head and continued his report.

You stood from your desk and removed your blazer, showing off the fitted tank top you’d been wearing underneath. You made your way up to the kitchenette to retrieve some ice water and the ice pack from your lunchbox. At this point, you’d do anything to cool off.

You sat back down at your desk, sipping the water and crunching on the ice, while shifting the icepack from your chest to your neck. Aaron was so distracted by your constant moving that he had to speak up again. But as his gaze landed on you, he was rendered speechless…only for a moment, but it was enough time for him to notice the way the condensation from the icepack had dripped down your chest and when you slid it back to your neck, he could see the effect the could had on your breasts. His throat went dry.

“Stop messing around, it’s distracting.” He ordered.

“You’re no fun Hotch.”

“Would you just stop bothering me? You’re doing it on purpose now.” He sighed.

“Oh, fine.” You conceded.

--

November 1994

You made your way into the FBI building, hanging on one arm is your go bag, packed and ready to go. On the other arm is your purse, struggling to stay up on your shoulder as you held onto a basket filled with baked goods.

“Happy Holidays Jim!” You greeted, handing him a loaf of pumpkin bread.

“Thanks doll, you too! Did you get called in?” Jim, the head of security, asked.

“No, not yet anyway. I just figured I’d stop by.” You shrugged.

“You weren’t celebrating?” He questioned.

“Oh, um no, not this year.”

“Well doll, thanks for the pumpkin bread. Happy thanksgiving.” Jim smiled.

You made your way around, passing out different backed goods to people you saw every day, Maureen the receptionist, Mike from IT, and Sandra who was the director’s assistant. You’d even gone as far as bringing something for the BAU team members in the event that you did get called in.

Speaking of…

Gideon rushed into the bullpen of the sixth floor, in his haste he nearly missed the slight step down into the main section of the floor where your and Aaron’s desks sat. He was ferociously pressing the buttons on his pager – surely sending a page to the team informing them of the newest case.

Your suspicions were confirmed when yours beeped from your desk, drawing yours and Gideon’s attention.

“Jesus, I didn’t realize you were here. What are you doing here already?” Gideon asked.

“No reason to celebrate…I thought I could make myself useful here.” You shrugged and offered Gideon a container of gingersnaps.

“Thanks kid. Can you go get the files from Anderson?” Gideon requested.

“Of course, sir.”

Aaron arrived next; shock evident on his face when he saw you coming back from retrieving the files. He was about to make a snarky comment about you being here so early when Rossi came in behind him and clapped him on the shoulder.

--

The four of you were on the plane heading to Oklahoma, you were seated next to Gideon, going over the file, passing theories back and forth. Aaron was sat next to Rossi, stewing in a feeling the bordered annoyance.

“I can feel the steam blowing out of your ears.” Rossi teased.

“Sorry I just don’t get it…she got there so fast. She just – she just bothers me.” Aaron huffed.

“She was already there kid, she was at the BAU before Gideon even got there, he told me.” Rossi explained.

“What do you mean she was already there? Why would she have been at the office already?”

“I assume to keep herself busy. She lost her parents when she was in college, so she doesn’t really have anyone to celebrate the holidays with. She brought everyone at the office treats.” Rossi smiled, popping another bite of his banana nut muffin into his mouth.

“I didn’t know. That’s uh-that’s…” Aaron didn’t quite know what to say.

“Check your bag Hotch.” Rossi smiled and went back to his file.

Placed neatly in the outer pocket of Aaron’s bag was a cellophane bag containing snickerdoodles, his favorite. A red ribbon tied the bag closed and attached to it was a small note…

Sorry for bothering you all the time. Hopefully these can make up for a little bit of it.

Aaron took a bit of one of the cookies., rolling his eyes because, of course, they were perfect. He couldn’t help but feel bothered by your inability to be bad at something.

--

February 1995

You hated valentine’s day, it had always been a sore spot, all your friends swooning over the overpriced chocolate and roses that their boyfriends would get them. Not you though, you hadn’t received a valentine since freshman year of high school when Mathew Smith taped a rose to your locker. Matt had been nice and all, but he was looking for something…unserious.

You got yourself dressed and dragged yourself to the BAU. Everyone was so chipper as you entered the building, greeting you…but you met the majority of them with a scowl. Stepping off the elevator and going over to your desk, surprise overcoming you as you’re met with peonies and a pack of razzles. You moved them around, trying to find the note, coming across a yellow sticky note.

I thought these could be repayment for the pens you got me for Christmas.    -Hotch

You smiled at the signature, he’d hated when you called him Hotch, you’d been the first to do so and he was annoyed at how unprofessional it had initially seemed, he’d tell you not to call him that and claim you bothered him on purpose, but as Rossi and Gideon joined in with the nickname, he slowly grew to like you…it!

Aaron sat at his desk, plopping into his chair with a sigh. Your gaze lifted to meet his, a timid smile gracing your features.

“Hotch”

“Don’t bother me today.”

“Thank you.” You smiled.

“Don’t mention it.”

--

May 1995

May and June had become your least favorite months of the year. After losing your parents, you thought Christmas would be hard, and it was…but you’d found friends in school who would celebrate with you.

It was Mother’s Day and Father’s Day that killed you. People didn’t invite their orphaned friend over to celebrate those holidays with their family because…well because that’s weird.

These two months brought with them the painful reminder that your parents were gone.

Truthfully, you’d been glad to get the page letting you know that a case came in, it would have been a welcomed distraction…if it hadn’t been in your hometown.

Aaron could see how tense you were. He was trying to profile you, figure out what had you so worked up. He knew this time of year had to be difficult for you, seeing as Rossi told him you lost your mom. But he could tell there was something deeper, rooted within you.

It took some time, but after sitting back and observing, he figured it out. A few different officers knew you by name and were on a first-name basis with you. You’d been extremely familiar with the layout of the city, not needing directions to the location you’d gone to earlier. This must be your hometown.

--

“Alright guys, nice job today. So, we are flying out first thing tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” Rossi said.

You were slow to pack up, gathering your things, chatting with a few of the officers before heading out of the precinct. You didn’t really know what to do, you didn’t want to go back to the hotel, but you also didn’t want to go around town. You had too many memories here, it was too hard to go around and picture all the times you had with your parents around here.

“Hey, you want to go for a drive with me?” Aaron asked

You couldn’t even mask the shock as it etched its way across your features.

“Sure.”

At first you had no idea where Aaron was heading, the drive feeling unfamiliar…but then all at once you’d figured it out. He was driving to Blue Grove Cemetery.

“What the hell are you doing? Why are we here?” You questioned, anxiety lacing your words.

“Look, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to go through May and June, now that they’re gone. I thought it might be nice for you to see them before we head back tomorrow.” Aaron explained.

So many feelings were running through you. Initially anger, why would he blindside you like this. But then that morphed into panic, you didn’t want Hotch to see this side of you, the weak and vulnerable side. But lastly was this weird warmth…it was slow moving like molasses, sticking to every part of your body.

--

Aaron parked and let you control the pace. He waited to move until you reached for the handle on the door, slowly exiting the SUV. You stood there, still, unmoving, unsure if you could do this. Aaron grabbed a bag out of the back seat before walking around to meet you where you stood.

“I’m sorry, I – I don’t…”

“Hey,” Aaron placed his hand on your shoulder gently. “Take your time.”

You nodded at him gratefully.

Eventually you began to move, leading Aaron through the cemetery. You’d passed headstone after headstone until you came to a stop at their gravesite, resting just below a beautiful tree, offering just enough shade to allow you respite from the heat.  

Aaron laid out a small blanket, letting you sit first, hesitating for a beat.

“You can sit…please.” You asked, more than told.

Aaron sat next to you silently. He pulled the bag in front of the two of you, removing its contents, a sandwich cut in half, a bag of kettle chips (your favorite) and lastly two diet cokes. As you watched him, you smiled, you may bother him once in a while…okay all the time…but he cared. Whether he’d admit it or not.

The two of you sat there, eating, enjoying the cool breeze that the afternoon offered. After some time had passed, you found yourself telling Aaron about your parents. How your mom loved to bake, and she would tell you that food brought people together. You told him how your dad did everything himself, he never called in a specialist for everything.

Aaron chimed in with how you’d clearly taken after them and it made you an incredible profiler…and there it was again, that warm feeling.

You’d recognized it… it was the same feeling that bloomed within you on valentine’s day, and before that, on Christmas. You’d bought hotch these really fancy fountain pens he’d mentioned in passing and he got you a coat, a nice warm one, since you didn’t seem to own one.

This warm, sticky, sweet feeling was rearing its ugly head…and you were pretty sure it was called love.

--

July 1995

That warm feeling had burrowed its way deep into your core and you were freaking out. You’d been doing everything you could to act normal around Hotch, you were worried you’d been failing miserably.

“I think your agent has a crush on my agent…” Rossi said to Gideon, peaking out the window of his office.

“That’s interesting, because I am pretty sure your agent has feelings for my agent.” Gideon challenged.

“Do you think they’ll figure it out?”

“Not any time soon.”

--

You flicked a paper football over your screen onto Hotch’s desk. He glanced up at you, only his gaze didn’t hold its usual annoyance, instead there was something that mirrored amusement written there.

“Are you trying to bother me some more?” Aaron asked.

“Um, yes. That’s my job; to bother you…didn’t you get the memo?” You teased.

“I must have missed that one.” He let out a breathy chuckle.

You went back to your report, working diligently. All of two minutes passed before the paper football knocked against your hand as it landed on your desk. You laughed and shook your head gently, there was that stupid feeling again.

--

October 1995

Your knuckles rapped gently against Gideon’s office door. You were shaking, your stomach twisted at the thought of what you were about to do. It had taken you a little while to figure out the best option…knowing that it wouldn’t be professional to continue working with Hotch with these feelings you had for him.

You’d looked at all the openings here at Quantico, trying to figure out which position would best suit you. Ultimately, counterterrorism was looking for someone with a background in psychology, so it just made sense. Which brings you to now, you were about to go into Gideon’s office and request the transfer.

“Come in.”

“Hey Gideon, I uh…I need to talk to you about something.” You stumbled a bit.

“Go ahead.” He gestured to the chair opposite him.

You sat, taking a steadying breath. “I’m requesting a transfer. To counterterrorism.”

“No.”

“Gideon, you-”

“No.” He began. “I am not going to sign a transfer request for you, especially not to counterterrorism, you have exceptional skills, and we need them here.”

“Gideon, I have to transfer. I feel – I have…” You trailed off as your eyes found Aaron beyond the window in the bullpen. “I can’t work with him, not when I feel like this.”

Gideon took a deep breath, looking at you and taking in the longing gaze you wore. He didn’t fully understand what thoughts were running through your head, but if this is what you felt you needed to do, he wasn’t going to stop you. You were a very strong and capable agent…he trusted your judgement.

“How much longer do we have you here at the BAU?” He asked waving for you to hand him the paper.

“Two weeks.” You sighed. “I’m sorry Gideon.”

“Don’t apologize. You’re smart and you need to do what is best for you.”

--

November 1995

“Alright guys we have a case, round table in five.” Rossi called out into the bullpen.

You gathered your things, knowing you wouldn’t be travelling with them for this case. You figured you’d sit through the round table, offer a few theories and then let them go on their way.  Aaron watched you slowly grabbing a legal pad and your signature pink pen, he chuckled grabbing his own paper and one of the fountain pens from the set you bought him.

“Before we begin I just want to say that I am so proud of how you have grown and flourished with this team, and while it is a huge loss for the BAU, counterterrorism is lucky to have you.” Gideon stated, looking at you.

“What? You-you’re transferring?” Aaron asked incredulously.

“Yes.”

“When…when are you leaving?” He asked.

“Today is my last day.” Your gaze shifted to your lap.

“We can talk about this later, let’s go over the facts of the case.” Gideon demanded.

Through the entire briefing Aaron’s eyes were burning into you. He couldn’t focus on the fact of this case because he was completely hung up on the fact that yours wouldn’t be the face across from him anymore…you weren’t going to be there to flick paper footballs at him, or to hum songs all day, to crunch annoyingly on baby carrots. Who was going to bother him if you were gone?

After you finished going over the case, you couldn’t help the sting behind your eyes, slowly realizing that this was it, your time at the BAU was done. But you held your head up high and steeled yourself. You offered Gideon a handshake, Rossi pulled you into a tight hug, and Aaron…well he brushed by you with a curt nod.

--

Aaron was miserable throughout the entirety of the two weeks they were away on this case. He was moping, and it wasn’t going unnoticed. Rossi and Gideon shared a knowing look, thankful that he was finally figuring it out.

They hadn’t quite expected it to take him so long to do something about it.

--

December 1995

The bullpen was so quiet without you. Aaron felt uneasy; he was the only one in the center of the floor now that you were gone. His file going long forgotten as he sat back and thought about things for a bit…

When he first saw you, you’d entered the elevator at the same time for your interviews, you’d offered a quiet thank to him for holding the elevator for you and he couldn’t deny then how cute you were. But then you’d both been hired on as profilers and he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to think that anymore, so he shoved the feeling down.

Then you spilled your coffee all over the table, effectively ruining his file, but you’d cursed, burning your hand as you quickly tried to clean it up. He wanted nothing more than to hold you and tell you it would be okay, so he fled.

It was so many things after that, your intelligence and the passion you had for profiling. Your baking, always noting people’s favorites and bringing them sweets, just to see them smile. The way you listened, remembering something he’d brought up in passing and gone out of your way to order his favorite pens.

Oh shit. He was in love with you. He’d fallen in love with you and had been too stupid to realize it.

--

Aaron moved with a purpose, rushing through the FBI building, making his way up the two flights of stairs it took to get to counterterrorism. He burst through the door, drawing attention to himself, his eyes frantically scanning the room in search of you.

He moved forward, noticing you across the room. He reached you in a few long strides, stopping just before you.

“Hotch…what are you doing here?” You looked around, blushing profusely.

“Sweetheart, you need to come back to the BAU.”

“I can’t…Aaron I-”

“I know that I have given you no reason to believe this, but I love you sweetheart. I need you to come back to the BAU, come back and bother me, baby.”

“No.” You shook your head in disbelief.

“Well yes.”

“Aaron, no.”

“Yes! Come bother me, baby. Bother me for the rest of my life.” Aaron begged. His hands reaching forward to cup your face.

“Okay” You gasped.

Aaron pulled you into a kiss, the agents surrounding you erupting in cheers for the both of you.

--

Bonus scene – May 2016

“Happy Mother’s Day sweetheart.”

“Happy Mother's Day mom!”

“Thank you guys!” You smiled, feeling nothing but joy looking to those who surrounded you.

Before you was your incredible husband and your three children, two sons and a daughter. They had gotten up early to make breakfast for you before they headed off to school. There had been a bouquet of peonies, cards, and a pack of razzles.

“Jack, are you okay to get Zoey to school today? We got called in pretty early.” You asked.

“Yeah mom! I have practice though, so Jason and Zoey might have to hang out a while.”

“Don’t worry about that bud, Will offered to pick them up when he picks up Michael.” Aaron patted Jack on the shoulder.

“Alright kids, we will see you later, be safe and please text me when you get to school!” You called, heading out the door with Aaron hot on your tail.

--

Aaron and you made your way into the BAU hand-in-hand. You glanced around at this team you built together, and you couldn’t be happier. Aaron made his way toward his office, noticing you’d stopped and before he could say anything, Dave clapped him on the back.

“Leave her be. She’s admiring this family you’ve built together.”

You looked over to where Aaron and Dave stood, offering a bright smile. You then made your way down to the floor, greeting Emily, JJ, Derek, Spencer and Penelope.

Taglist: @bernelflo@pastelpinkflowerlife@just-moondust

[ariestrxsh]

dealer!chris x dealer!reader

💸 content warning: smut/angst (in later chapters; this one's mostly just suggestive), mentions of hard drugs and guns, enemies to lovers, slow burn

💸 summary: you and chris spend the night hanging out on his roof after your first day of making sales together.

there will be several parts to this story, and they will contain sex, drugs, violence, use of weapons, and a lot of things that could be triggering if you've ever been apart of the drug world or loved someone with an addiction. i don't mean to glorify drug use, selling, or anything like that, but i wanted this story to be realistic, so it does appear like a somewhat "glamorous" lifestyle to chris and the reader in the first few parts. i want to make it very clear that when you get involved in the drug world in real life, you usually end up in one of two places: the ground or prison.

WHEN SPARKS FLY

chapters: | intro | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

The sun sank slowly below the skyline, and the evening turned to nightfall as you and Chris finished up your last deal of the day. You'd been showing him all the stops, introducing him to your customers, and teaching him the way you did everything.

He got into your passenger seat and sighed as his head fell against the headrest, really wishing he had a joint right about now. "Damn, ma. I can't believe how much money we made today," Chris mumbled, slouching down into his seat. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the wad of cash he'd made for the day.

"I know, and we're only a third of the way through the product," you smiled back, doing the math in your head about the potential profit. "I could never work a 9 to 5," Chris sighed, sifting through the $100 bills. "Can't believe I just made in a day what it would take some sucker to make in two weeks at some office job."

You fastened your seatbelt and turned the key in the ignition, admiring Chris, who brought his fingers to his lips and slowly licked them as he separated the crisp hundreds. "What are you thinking about, ma? My tongue or my fingers?" Chris flirted, catching you staring out of the corner of his eye and giving you a seductive smirk as he ran his tongue along the pads of his fingers again, flitting through his money.

You squeezed your thighs together as you bit down on your lip. For a moment, you were thinking about both at the same time. You hated the effect he had on you, the way he knew how to get inside your head, intrude on your thoughts, and invade your sexual fantasies. "You're fucking gross, Chris," you replied, rolling your eyes and trying to hide how turned on you were.

He responded with a chuckle, knowing that he was getting to you even if you wanted to deny it. "So, am I dropping you off at your girlfriend's house?" You asked, reminding him that he had one. "Nah, can you drop me off at my place? I'm staying home tonight," Chris requested. "I can do that. Just tell me where to go," you replied, your eyes darting around between the road in front of you, your side mirrors, and your rearview.

"So, have you told Daisy yet?" You asked, your gaze flickering over at Chris, who was shaking his head. "I'll tell her, ma, when I'm ready," Chris grumbled. He knew you were right. He knew he had some things to work out, like telling his girlfriend the real way he made his money or dealing with the fact that he was finding himself sexually attracted to his new business partner. He stole another glance at you from your passenger seat as the fantasy he'd had the night before flashed through his mind, praying you wouldn't notice the tent forming in his jeans.

When you pulled into Chris' driveway, he thanked you again for the ride. "I can't believe I've been sober for eight hours," Chris mentioned, bouncing his leg as you parked. "No wonder you've been so uptight today," you teased him. "Maybe you should come smoke with me since you're always uptight," Chris smirked, nudging you in the arm with his elbow, but his offer was genuine.

You gave him an annoyed look, but you couldn't hold back the smile that spread across your lips. "I don't smoke weed, Chris. I haven't since I was a teenager," you replied, fidgeting with the material of your black steering wheel cover. "Why not?" Chris wondered, surprised by your admission. "I like being clear-headed. I don't like feeling out of control," you shrugged.

"We're on a floating rock in space, ma. The idea that you have control over anything is an illusion," Chris laughed, reaching for his door handle. "C'mon. Come inside. Do you drink? I've got a beer with your name on it if you wanna hang out with me for a little."

You were quiet for a second. It wasn't often that people invited you to hang out or just do something fun with them, and for a moment, you thought maybe you could use it. "I could stay for one beer," you responded hesitantly, nervously rubbing the back of your neck. "That's what I'm talking about, ma. Let your hair down once in a while," Chris replied, beaming with a smile.

You trailed behind him, staring down at your shoes as you followed the pattern of the stepping stones that led to his front door. "Oh, shit. I forgot my house key at Daisy's place," he sighed, running his finger through his hair. You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. "Do you need me to take you to Daisy's place after all?" You huffed, slightly annoyed at the situation.

"Nah, it wouldn't do any good anyways. She's at work. Plus, this won't take long," Chris said, pulling a pin out of his pocket and fiddling with the lock. You nervously looked around, worried someone was going to see him picking his lock and call the cops or something, but in a matter of seconds, you heard a click, and you watched as he turned the knob. His door creaked open, and he glanced back at you with a mischevious smile.

"Okay, now you're just showing off," you replied, raising an eyebrow. "What can I say, ma? I'm good with my hands. Gotta show you my skillset somehow," Chris playfully winked at you. You scoffed, biting back a smile. A part of you liked the way he couldn't keep himself from making sexual innuendos and flirting with you.

"If you need me to pick a lock on a deal, though, you're splitting the money 50/50 with me," Chris told you, stepping into his living room. "What kind of shady shit do you think I'm up to, Chris? I'm just selling coke. Not robbing people," you joked, following him in. "You never know," Chris peeked back at you over his shoulder with a smirk on his face.

"This is it," he announced, raising his arms to present his place to you. It was a dimly-lit, relatively small place, but it had a safe, cozy vibe to it. "I like it," you told him, your eyes scanning them room. You noticed his sprouting marijuana plants in the corner sitting beneath his grow lights and an old shelf beside it that was littered with comic books and novels you'd never heard of.

His house faintly smelled of weed and sandalwood, like how Chris always smelled, and you found the familiar scent comforting as it wafted through the air. He directed you over towards his couch and motioned for you to sit. You sat down, awkwardly perching at the edge of the couch cushion.

"C'mon, ma. You can relax. Kick your feet up," he told you, heading over towards his fridge to give you that beer he promised you. You exhaled and slowly leaned back into his sofa that was much softer than you imagined it would be. Chris twisted the cap off the bottle and handed it to you. The red and white label that read Stella Artois stared back at you, and you hesitantly reached out and took it.

Chris plopped down on the couch beside you, and you watched as he sprinkled a bit of ground weed into his rolling paper. You peered down at his rings and his fingers at the way they skillfully handled the joint, tucking the paper in and folding it in on itself.

His gaze flickered up at you as his tongue darted out, and he licked a long, slow stripe across the edge of the joint. His lips curled into a suggestive smile as he noticed you watching him, but you acted unamused, pulling your eyes away from his. You held the bottle up to your lips, taking a small, refreshing sip, the bubbles fizzing against your tongue as you relaxed further into the comfy couch.

You peered down the hall to an open door at the end. The room was dark, but you imagined it was probably Chris' bedroom. You found yourself wondering what it looked like, how comfortable his bed was, and how hard it would be for you to keep your hands off of him if you ever found yourself alone with him in there.

"You coming?" Chris asked, pulling you out of your thoughts and standing to his feet as soon as you'd gotten comfortable. "Coming where?" You wondered, giving him a perplexed look. "To the roof. The view's great up there," Chris responded, making his way towards the back door.

You hesitantly followed him back out into the cool air of the backyard where he had a ladder propped up against the side of his house. "C'mon, ma. I'll hold your beer. You start climbing the ladder," Chris told you, extending his arm to take your bottle from you. "Yep. Just smoking and drinking on a roof. What could possibly go wrong?" You muttered under your breath as you wrapped your fingers around the cold, metal rungs.

"Don't worry, ma. I'll be right behind you, so if you fall, I'll catch you," Chris' breath tickled your neck as he pressed his warm body into yours. Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. It was the closest you'd ever been to him. You were just glad you were faced away from him, so he couldn't see the unmistakable look of desire written in your expression as heat radiated off his skin.

You cleared your throat and regained your composure. "Is that your gun, or are you just happy to see me?" You snarked at him, peering over your shoulder in an attempt to take control of the situation again. Chris chuckled, but he didn't answer you, leaving it up for interpretation. You started to hesitantly climb the ladder, and Chris followed closely behind, keeping his promise to not let you fall as he held your beer in one hand and the unlit joint between his lips.

The two of you made it to the roof, and Chris handed you your beer once the two of you got settled. The star-filled sky hung overhead as you looked out at the horizon. You saw the tops of the other houses, the city lights scattered across the skyline, and the waves crashing on the beach shore off in the far distance. You brought your bottle of Stella Artois up to your lips and took another sip as you took in the view. There was something about this perspective that made your problems feel smaller and less pressing.

"Pretty cool, isn't it, ma?" Chris asked beside you as you heard the flick of his lighter sound as he held the flame up to the end of his joint. You quietly nodded, surprised by how much you could see from Chris' roof. "So, ma. What do you say we get to know each other better and play your favorite game, twenty questions?" Chris smiled over at you with the lit joint pinched between his two fingers.

You rolled your eyes, but you didn't have an excuse this time. There was no work to be done, and there was nowhere to go to avoid his questioning, so you took a deep breath and another swig of your drink. "Okay, fine. Hit me," you finally replied after a moment of hesitancy.

"Where do you go to clear your mind?" Chris wondered, his gaze locked on you. "The beach. I like the waves. The sounds of the seagulls. Feeling the sand between my toes. It's peaceful," you shrugged. Even though the question wasn't a very personal one, you felt vulnerable answering.

"What about you, Chris?" You wondered aloud. "You're looking at it," Chris said with his joint tucked between his lips. He didn't need to explain anything further. You could tell why this was the place he went to sort out his thoughts.

"Alright. What kind of music do you listen to?" You blurted out, not sure of what to ask him next. "Anything, really. But I prefer indie over everything else," he told you. "Okay, play me your favorite song," you told him, gesturing towards his phone he had sitting beside him. He picked it up, staring back at you as he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he responded, scrolling through the saved albums on his phone until he came across AM by Arctic Monkeys. No. 1 Party Anthem started playing through the speaker of his phone, and you nodded in approval as the melody filled the space between you.

"If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose?" Chris asked, turning off his phone screen and letting the song play softly in the background of your conversation. You thought about it for a moment. "See, I wanna say Pablo Escobar or something, but I think I'd want to have dinner with one of those druglords who flew under the radar so well that we don't even know their names," you replied. "Damn, ma. That's a good answer," Chris mumbled with the joint hanging from his lips.

He glanced up at you as if silently reminding you it was your turn to ask a question. "What did you think of me when you first met me?" You wondered aloud. You gave him a look like he should be careful about how answered this question. He cracked a smile, remembering the first time you'd approached him and threatened him for selling his weed on your block and trying to steal your customers. "I thought you were tough. Not the kind of woman you want to mess with. I also thought you were super hot," Chris admitted. You blushed, hoping Chris couldn't tell in the glow of the moon.

"What's one thing you don't leave the house without?" Chris asked you, pulling a long drag from his joint. "My keys," you sharply responded, subtly teasing him for having to break into his own place earlier. He let out a laugh. "And my gun," you told him. You sipped on your bubbly drink, noting that the song had changed.

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High started to play as you glanced back over at the blue-eyed man beside you. "If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?" You asked, peeling the label off your beer bottle. "Nothing," Chris smirked over at you. "Nothing?" You reiterated, furrowing your brow. "Nothing," he repeated. "You're a little cocky, aren't you?" You shot back. "I prefer confident," Chris chuckled before he pulled from the joint again.

"What do you think the most important quality in a friend or partner is?" Chris asked after a few seconds of silence. "Honesty and loyalty," you said without hesitation, and Chris nodded in agreement. "You?" You asked. "Probably just someone who isn't going to bail when things get hard," Chris sincerely responded.

"What's your biggest fear?" You asked him, the questions getting deeper and deeper. "Losing the people I love," he answered, staring down at the build-up of ash on the cherry before flicking it off. "How about you, ma?" He returned the question. "Trusting the wrong person and getting hurt," you responded almost immediately. "I get that," Chris answered, his gaze still fixed on you.

"What's your guilty pleasure?" Chris asked you, his luscious lips curling into a smile as he awaited your response. "Probably those dumb reality shows," you admitted, your cheeks growing warm. "Really? Never took you for a girl who likes trash TV," Chris teasingly nudged your arm. "Daisy loves that shit, too."

"What's one of your guilty pleasures?" You asked Chris. He bit down on his lip as he looked you up and down. He knew what he wanted to say, but he knew it would be crossing the line of just playful flirting and venturing into uncharted territory, so he came up with something on the spot.

"Watching the trash TV with her. I'm always making fun of her for watching The Bacholorette and shit like that, but then I find myself watching it with her and getting all invested," Chris confessed.

"I totally get it. Like, I started watching it as a joke at first, and then you get to know the people. Then you start wanting them to end up together," you said, glancing up at him, and his eyes met yours. The song changed again, and you listened as the lyrics came through:

🎶 If you like your coffee hot, let me be your coffee pot. You call the shots, babe. I just wanna be yours. 🎶

The two of you stared at each other in a comfortable silence for a moment, Chris taking a puff of his weed as you took a swig of beer. "So, what does Daisy think you're out doing all day when you're working?" You wondered, raising an eyebrow at him. "As far as she knows, I work in sales, which isn't totally a lie. She just doesn't know about the drugs," Chris shrugged. "Yeah, she doesn't know about the most important detail," you scoffed, tapping on the glass of your bottle.

"Why are you always judging me for that, ma? I've got my reasons. Why are you so pressed about it?" He asked, sounding a bit defensive. "I had an ex who kept things from me, like how much money he owed certain people. He put me in a lot of dangerous situations. Don't want to watch you do the same shit to Daisy," you murmured, letting Chris in more than you had up until this point. "I didn't know, ma," Chris said, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder and relaxing his jaw. "You know, I'd never intentionally hurt her. Or you."

"It doesn't matter, Chris. You can be the most well-intentioned person in the world and still hurt the people around you," you responded. He was quiet for a few minutes, mulling over what you said.

"Your ex? Alex?" Chris wondered, blowing out a cloud of smoke against the night sky as he recalled Joe using that name earlier. "Yeah. My dumb fuck ex. He got himself killed because he owed the wrong people money," you said in a dry tone. "Holy shit. Ma, I'm so sorry," Chris whispered. "Don't be. He deserved it," you muttered under your breath.

"Hey, I have a question. Why do you always call me ma?" You chimed in. "It's just a sign of respect. That's all," he shrugged. "Why? Does it bother you?"

"No. It's fine. I don't care what you call me. You gotta stop looking at me like that, though. Looking like you're gonna kiss me or some shit," you accused him, following his gaze that danced between your eyes and your lips as you took another drink of your beer. The song changed again.

🎶 How many secrets can you keep? 'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow, and I play it on repeat until I fall asleep. 🎶

"I'm not looking at you any type of way! Maybe you're projecting because you wanna kiss me," he shot back. The sexual tension between the two of you was thick, and for a moment, you each thought about it. The temptation was there, and it was strong. You wanted to pull him as close as you could, passionately press your lips against his, and tangle your fingers in his soft, brown hair, but you didn't want to ruin your business relationship with him.

Chris thought the same, wondering what it would be like to kiss you, but he didn't want to screw up what he had with Daisy, and he didn't want to give you the wrong impression. He diverted his eyes, glancing down at his joint that had burned down to the roach, and he put it out. "Get enough of the view, ma? I'm getting kind of tired," Chris chimed in as you admired his profile in the moonlight.

For a moment, you forgot he was talking about the scape of the city from the roof. "Oh, right. Yeah, of course. I should probably go," you said, fiddling with the empty bottle in your hand. "You can stay the night if you need to," Chris motioned towards the alcoholic beverage you'd finished off, but he knew he was playing with fire the moment the words left his mouth, inviting you to stay the night.

🎶 Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go, was sort of hoping that you'd stay. 🎶

The two of you exchanged a look like you both knew it wouldn't be a good idea. Even with you both sleeping in separate rooms, you each knew deep down that a closed door wouldn't be enough to deter you two from the temptation. "It's cool, Chris. It was just one beer. I'll just grab a glass of water, sit on your couch for twenty minutes, and I'll be fine to drive," you told him. Chris picked up his phone and paused the song. "I got you, ma. I'll help you down."

You felt elated once you were finally sitting back down on Chris' couch, sobering up. You weren't sure if it was a buzz from the alcohol, an adrenaline rush from being on the roof, or just the way you were starting to feel around Chris.

Chris gave you some crackers to help "absorb the alcohol," because he had "heard somewhere that it does," and even though you'd only had one beer, it was sweet that he cared enough. You also both just knew that you had to sober up, because staying the night wasn't an option unless you were both prepared to give into the force that was pulling the two of you together and end up doing something that could hurt Daisy or hurt your business relationship.

So you were munching away on Ritz crackers on Chris' couch after your single beer, and once you felt like the effects of the alcohol had worn off, you made a comment about how late it was getting and about how you should probably get going.

You left, following the same stepping stones you'd used when you walked up. When you approached your car, you reached into your empty pocket for your keys just to remember you'd left them on Chris' coffee table. "Shit," you whispered, realizing you were going to have to do a walk of shame back up to his front door after giving him shit for forgetting his keys earlier.

Chris had already started to get ready for bed, shedding his layers and slipping into a pair of flannel pajama pants when a soft knock sounded at his front door. He peeked through the peephole to make sure it was you, his heart racing and secretly wondering if you'd come back to kiss him or confess your feelings for him, his mind swirling with half a dozen possibilities.

He turned the doorknob, and when you saw him, your eyes were immediately drawn to the fact that he was shirtless. "Uh, sorry. I forgot my keys," you told him, unable to conceal your smile at the irony of the situation. "Oh, you mean, the keys you don't go anywhere without?" Chris asked, leaning against the door frame and indulging in the fact that you were doing nothing to hide the fact that you were checking him out.

"Yeah. Those ones," you smirked, biting down on your lip. "I'll go get 'em, ma," Chris chuckled at you as he turned to retrieve your keys. You found yourself holding your breath as your gaze danced over the definition of his back muscles in the soft lighting of his living room.

He handed them to you, and as you took them from him, his hand brushed against yours. You both exchanged a look that was heavy with the words unspoken between you, but you also both silently agreed it was for the best. "Okay, goodnight," you said, unconsciously batting your eyelashes at him. "Goodnight," Chris smirked, eyeing you up and down as you turned to walk away before closing his door again.

As soon as you made it to your car, you reflected on the way you acted and how stupid you must have sounded, silently kicking yourself. You didn't harp on it for long, though. Your embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by the intoxication and bliss you felt from being around such an attractive man who was beginning to make you smile more than he made you roll your eyes.

taglist: @skye-44 @faiyaz555 @idrk2292 @chrisclean @drewswife @trevorsgodmother @sofisturns @milo-the-dog @rockstarchr1s @bluetalia @xaristhings @nomusic-nodreams @birkinbratsworld @wastelandzella @bsturnzmtts @sturniolo-girl @theyluvme-2315 @jassturn @brookiecookie-18 @maggot3647 @slut4chriztopher @strnlslvr @sleepysturniolo @lvrsturniolo @sofieeeeex @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @matts-myloverboy @witchofthehour @whoahoahoahoahoa @ilovechrissturniolosposts @smt-obsessed @sturnioloxlver @that1fangirll @hrtz4alex2211 @drewstarkeys @sp3ncerslvt @sturniolo-munch44 @jakewebberswifee @ssturniolooss @thenickgurl @sturniolo-fann @sst7niolo @babysturniolo @chestersturniolo @riowritesitall @camzeecorner @mattsturnixlo @annedebeijer @scorpioosworld @mattlover-00

[ablobwhowrites]

I really love your New home sweet home au and I really want to see the toys taking care of Y/N since he’s has a fever :

Like one day, Y/N comes back from work and sees the toys in the living room and then he says something and passes out due to the fever. And the toys taking care of him since he saved them.

Everyone thinks y/n just died. Until dog day just found out they just have a fever. All it was is a cold and basically the only ones who kinda know how to help with a cold is the smiling critters and miss delight. They basically try and take care of y/n because they kinda know what their doing as miss delight knows how colds work as she's a teacher and knows basics of human anatomy and a lot of other stuff because well she was made to be a teacher back in playcare so that's what she had kept in here memory.

Yarnaby isn't allowed to be in the room with y/n because the moment he is, he's hopping onto the bed and laying down with y/n and may even get yarnaby sick. So yarnaby kinda sits at the door of y/n's room, doey every 5 minutes goes up to check on y/n as luckily he can stretch his neck and arms to get to y/n. Because once he went to the second floor and ended up nearly breaking through it but luckily didn't. He's like 900 pounds of dough so that pretty heavy but he can go upstairs for a little bit but not for long. But he tries and always checks up on y/n and poor dude is worried cause so many toys in the safe haven got sick sometimes and Doey was so worried for them the whole time.

Mommy long legs basically looking through cook books and cook books for something that y/n could eat without having to throw up or just having something easy for the stomach. The doctor, he thinks this worrying is just idiotic as he knows y/n will get better but still, Harley does make sure y/n is living and breathing. And the bunzo comes up into y/n's room to kinda talk about random things to keep y/n entertained and not bored but bunzo ended up talking about a random green spring he found and the newest episode of a show. Boogie bot is kinda the only one who kinda takes y/n's temperature, gives medicine and other stuff and all because it's hard to get a robot sick plus dog day and Doey are genuinely tweaking because they are in the safe haven mind set thinking that there is no medicine and stuff like that.

But after y/n feels healthy again. The toys are relieved and Harley is relieved as well because he wants to keep his room and bro is not willing to give up this nice ass house life. Also yarnaby goes back to sleeping in y/n's room again after y/n gets better. As soon is catnap in his smaller form as it helps him keep a eye on y/n and also to sleep more peacefully than hearing KickinChicken snore for the whole night.

(thats it for my yap session, hopefully my writing is getting slightly better but If you like that please don't feel shy and request any ideas for stories or anything. But for now please stay safe and drink water!)

[gf2bellamy]

hiii!

i was wondering if you could write spencer x reader, where she’s having a really bad day but spencer is coming home from a case and is exhausted, mentally and physically so she feels guilty that she would bother him with her mood

So she just hides away and is on the verge of a panic attack and spencer finds her and is all “you save me, so pls let me save you” and just comforts her (and calls her angel because 🫠)

thankyouuu so much (you dont have to do it if you dont want! no pressure at all!) i love your writing, it’s so incredibly cute and endearing <3

exhaustion — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: reader crying a lot , reader feeling guilty / tired / exhausted, spencer calls reader angel a/n: hii thank you so much for your request !! i hope you like this <3

The apartment was quiet—too quiet. You sat on the couch, curled up in one corner, staring blankly at the empty space in front of you. The TV was off, the big overhead light was off, and the only light came from the small lamp on the side table.

You hadn’t moved in what felt like hours, your mind swirling with the events of the day. It had been one of those days—the kind where nothing went right, where every little thing seemed to pile up until you felt like you were drowning under the weight of it all. 

You missed Spencer. A lot. Especially right now.

He had a way of making everything feel better. You longed for his comforting hugs and the way he’d listen to you ramble about your day.

But he wasn’t here. He was at work, buried under mountains of paperwork and case files.

The sound of keys jingling in the lock snapped you out of your thoughts. You jumped up from the couch, your heart leaping in your chest as you hurried to the door.

Spencer stepped inside, looking disheveled and exhausted. His tie was loosened, his hair was a mess, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He dropped his bag by the door with a heavy thud, and before you could say a word, he pulled you into a tight hug. 

You melted into his embrace, your arms wrapping around his neck as you buried your face in his shoulder. He smelled like coffee and faintly of paper. For a moment, you just stood there, holding each other.

“I missed you,” Spencer mumbled into your hair, his voice muffled but sincere. His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back.

“I missed you too,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. You didn’t want to let go, but after a moment, he pulled back slightly, his hands moving to cradle your face. His thumbs brushed gently over your cheeks.

“Today was horrible,” he said with a sigh, his shoulders slumping as he let go of you to shrug off his jacket. He ran a hand through his hair, looking more tired than you’d seen him in a long time. 

You bit your lip, hesitating. “What happened?” you asked softly, following him as he moved further into the apartment. 

He sighed again, sinking onto the couch and leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Just… paperwork. So much paperwork. And then Garcia’s computer crashed, so we lost half the files we needed, and Hotch wanted everything reorganized by tomorrow morning…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “It was just one thing after another.” 

You sat down next to him, your heart aching as you watched him. He looked so drained, so unlike his usual self, and you felt a pang of guilt for even thinking about burdening him with your own problems.

Today had been hard for you, but it sounded like it had been even harder for him. The last thing you wanted was to add to his stress. 

So instead of talking about your day, you reached out and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “That sounds awful.” 

He gave you a small, tired smile, his fingers intertwining with yours. “It’s okay. It’s just… one of those days, you know?” 

You nodded, your throat tightening. You did know.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. Instead, you shifted closer, pulling him into another hug. He leaned into you, his head resting on your shoulder as you ran your fingers through his hair. 

“How was your day?” Spencer mumbled, his voice soft and drowsy as he leaned back against the couch, pulling you with him.

You settled against his side, his head still resting on your shoulder as your fingers continued to gently card through his hair.

The question caught you off guard, and you hesitated for a moment, your hand stilling briefly before you forced yourself to keep moving. 

“It was… good,” you said, your voice carefully neutral. You tried to inject a note of cheerfulness into your tone, but it came out sounding hollow, even to your own ears. 

Spencer hummed against your shoulder, seemingly too tired to notice the slight falter in your voice. “I’m glad,” he murmured, his words muffled as he nuzzled closer to you. His warmth was comforting, but it did little to ease the tightness in your chest. 

After a moment, he shifted, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before slowly sitting up. “I’m going to get changed,” he said, his voice still heavy with exhaustion.

He gave your hand a gentle squeeze before standing and heading toward the bedroom, leaving you alone on the couch. 

As soon as he was out of sight, the lump in your throat returned, thicker and more suffocating than before. You bit your lip hard, trying to hold back the tears that had been threatening to spill all evening.

But it was no use. The dam broke, and before you could stop yourself, you were on your feet, hurrying toward the bathroom. 

You shut the door behind you with a soft click, leaning against it as the first tear slipped down your cheek. Then another. And another.

Soon, you were crying , your shoulders shaking as you tried to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape. You muttered curses under your breath, frustrated with yourself for not being able to hold it together. 

“Get it together,” you whispered harshly, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes. But the tears wouldn’t stop.

The tears kept running, your shoulders shaking as you tried to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape.

You felt like a mess, your face hot and your chest tight. But just as you were about to try to pull yourself together, you heard footsteps outside the bathroom door, followed by a soft knock. 

“Hey,” Spencer’s voice came through the door, gentle and concerned. “Can I come in?” 

You froze, your breath catching in your throat. You didn’t know what to do. Part of you wanted to tell him to go away, to spare him from seeing you like this, but another part of you desperately needed him.

You muttered a curse under your breath, wiping at your face with the back of your hand before slowly getting to your feet. 

You opened the door just enough to peek out, your eyes meeting Spencer’s. He was standing there, his expression soft but worried. His hair was still a mess, but his eyes were focused entirely on you. 

“Hey, hey,” he said immediately, stepping closer. “What’s wrong?” 

You sniffled, your throat tightening as you tried to find the words. “I—” you started, but your voice broke, and you shook your head, unable to continue.

How could you even begin to explain? Everything was wrong. The entire day had been wrong, and now you felt like you were falling apart. 

Spencer didn’t push. Instead, he reached out, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek, wiping away a tear. His touch was so tender that it only made you cry harder.

“Come on,” he said softly, his hand slipping down to take yours. He gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling you with him, leading you out of the bathroom and down the hallway. 

You followed him numbly, your fingers intertwined with his as he guided you to the bedroom. He sat you down on the edge of the bed and knelt in front of you, his hands resting on your knees as he looked up at you, his eyes searching yours. 

“Talk to me, angel,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “What’s going on?” 

The nickname made your heart ache, and you shook your head, fresh tears spilling over. “I didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “You had such a bad day, and I didn’t want to make it worse.” 

Spencer’s expression softened, his hands moving to cradle your face. “You could never make my day worse,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “And you’re never a bother. Not to me. Not ever.” 

You shook your head again, your hands gripping his wrists as you tried to steady yourself. “But you were so tired, and I didn’t want to—” 

“Hey,” he interrupted gently, his thumbs brushing away your tears. “You save me, I save you. That’s how this works, remember?” 

You nodded slowly, your breath hitching as more tears spilled over by just hearing those sweet words. Spencer leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his arms.

You went willingly, burying your face in his shoulder as he held you close. His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back, and you felt some of the tension in your chest begin to ease. After a while he slowly let go, but his hands remaining on your arms.

“Tell me about your day,” he said after a while, his voice soft but insistent. “What happened?” 

You hesitated, but the way he was looking at you—so patient, so understanding—made it impossible to hold back. So you told him. You told him about everything that had gone wrong.

And he listened, his hands never leaving yours, his eyes never wavering from yours. 

When you were done, he pulled you into his arms again, holding you tightly against his chest. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “I’m sorry you had such a bad day. But I’m here now, okay? And I’m not going anywhere.” 

You nodded, your face buried in his shoulder as you clung to him. For the first time all day, you felt like you could breathe again. Like maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his shirt. 

Spencer pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. “Always, angel,” he said softly. “Always.” 

[sammyluvr]

✶ safe now — sam & dean w.

cw : gn!winchester!reader, hurt/comfort, reader is the youngest sibling, blood, injury & pain, implied torture, nicknames (bud), poorly edited, no y/n, 1.4K words. requested !

summary : your brothers rescue you after you're kidnapped and tortured by demons.

there’s a moment where everything is quiet. maybe it’s minutes. hours, perhaps. you don’t really know, because nothing makes sense anymore. up and down don’t mean much to you. and you can’t tell if everything hurts, if it burns, or if you can’t feel anything at all.

then, it’s not quiet anymore. it’s loud, and yet, it’s muffled. you can’t distinguish one sound from another. a crash and a yell, maybe even a scream. more crashing, but it all sort of sounds the same, so you’re not the most reliable narrator.

but there’s something familiar in it all. the clamor, the fighting, you think it must be. the shout of a word that you know to be your own somehow, and the blurred shape in front of your barely open eyes. it’s your name, you realize. the shouted sound was your name, far away. it’s not far away anymore, murmured and panicked, and the face in front of you, going in and out of focus, is sam’s.

oh, sam. you hope it’s really him. that means this is all over.

and then you decide that you can feel and everything does hurt, because there are hands wrapping around you from behind. they frighten and confuse you at first, but before you can thrash away or cry for sam to help, dean’s voice is in your ears and you don’t fight it.

“i got you,” he says simply, soothing you without any effort at all. he’s holding you up so you don’t fall once sam unties you from where you’re strung up by the wrists, like the carcass of a slaughtered farm animal. you try not to whimper. it would embarrass you. it’s hard, though, because his strong hold is aggravating the cuts and bruises that litter your bore torso. you wonder if his hands are warm or cold, but you can’t really tell despite the fact that your skin there is exposed. you were stripped of your shirt, you think.

sam’s talking too, voice so gentle that the sound of it is the most calming part. you’re sure he’s saying comforting words, but it’s hard to focus on more than one thing at a time. his hands work quickly to free you, and then you’re slumped back against dean’s chest. your legs aren’t working all that well right now.

dean’s hold is awkward and you can sag forward, right into sam. dean lets him take you, his hands itching for his weapon. there could be more demons and he’s got to protect you. he’s the one with the demon knife.

you can imagine the dead bodies in the hallway, the vessels of all the demons who were guarding the place. but you don’t see them, your eyes having drifted closed and your head tucked away into sam’s neck. dean must be leading the way, ready to kill for you as many times as he must today, and forever.

but all the demons have been disposed of. no one gets in the way, and they carry you right out to the car. sam helps you into the back seat with him and it hurts like hell to move at all, but the smell of leather puts you at ease, finally. you’re still so out of it, oblivious to sam’s face that doesn’t bother to hide the worry and the pain of seeing you like this. you’re oblivious to the fact that dean can barely look at you, horrified by the thought that he could’ve prevented this, maybe. it wasn’t his fault that you were snatched away in the night, but both brothers will blame themselves.

you were hungry, so dean left for food. and then, the motel room felt stuffy, so you went to take a walk just around the parking lot. sam didn’t get into the shower like he planned to, waiting at the creaky table for you to come back. and when you were gone for more than five minutes—sam knew you’d get cold quickly because you ignored his advice to grab a jacket—he went out to look for you. you were gone, so he called dean, searched for you. dean got back and yelled at sam. how could you leave them alone? dean was asking himself the same question.

“hey, look at me,” sam says, voice pleading. you aren’t very responsive, and it terrifies him. the car is already moving, you realize. your eyes find his and you feel his fingers wrapped around your wrist, pulling your arm through the sleeve of his jacket. everything hurts so much that you never realized that you’re cold. where there isn’t blood, sam can see goosebumps. he’s gentle as he pulls the fabric around you, trying to keep you warm without hurting you any further. “there you are,” he murmurs.

“you’re fine, bud,” dean says from the front seat, voice tense as he splits his attention between the road and checking on you through the rearview mirror. when he can’t look, he’s listening. you let out a sound, meant to acknowledge them both. your awareness sharpens, and so does your pain.

“i’m fine,” you mumble back, voice flat and quiet. even sam can barely hear it, but dean catches the words too. “it’s all fine. i– i didn’t say anything. i didn’t say anything.” dean glances back, and sam looks at you in confusion.

“you didn’t say anything?” he repeats softly, trying to understand what you mean.

you give a jerky nod of your head. then you shake it the other way. “didn’t say anything,” you say again, “about the tablet. they wanted to know, but i didn’t say anything.” your voice is breathy and tired, and you’re mumbling so much that sam can barely make out what you’re saying. but he understands now, why you were taken. the tablet; you mean the demon tablet. the demons took you to get information on the demon tablet, thinking they could break the youngest winchester. 

of course, they couldn’t, but the thought boils his blood with fury. that anyone thinks they can use you for something like that. or that they think you’re a weak link, just because you’re the youngest. or maybe it was to cause the most chaos, the most panic. to mess with you is to raise hell. that’s what demons are for, of course, but they were stupid enough to think it wouldn’t just get them all killed.

“they took you for that?” dean growls, his voice dangerously vicious, “the fucking demon tablet?”

“the demon tablet,” you breathe out, your less bruised cheek finally falling to sam’s shoulder with exhaustion. he tucks you even closer into his side. “i didn’t say anything, though.”

“we know,” sam murmurs, wanting to ease your anxiety. his heart aches that you think the stupid tablet is the most imortant thing here. you’re bleeding all over his jacket and practically delirious from pain. you’re all that he and dean care about right now. “we know. we don’t have to worry about that now, okay?”

“mhmm,” you hum, “cuz they still don’t know where it is.” your voice is so hoarse. as if you’d been screaming. presumably, you had been, and that makes your brothers see red. dean’s grip on the wheel is knuckle-whitening, and sam is only able to be gentle for your sake. his shoulders hold all of the tension just like they hold up your trembling body. the car almost swerves before dean has to force his thoughts away from what you might’ve endured. he’s all too familiar with demon torture. he thinks about killing the demons who hurt you over again.

sam thinks about it too, but just for a moment. “yeah. and because you’re safe now,” he tells you firmly. 

“safe now,” you echo softly. everything hurts. the pain is bone-deep, but you believe him when he tells you that you’re safe now. “i knew you’d come get me,” you mutter, eyes never staying open for longer than a moment or two. you look as tired as you sound. maybe that’s what got you through it; the knowledge that it would be over, one way or another. either your brothers would come to rescue you and kill your captors, or you’d die first. they certainly would’ve still killed all those demons if that were to happen, and probably many, many more. but no one likes to think about that.

because you’re safe now.

[viablemess]

With transparency I did try it once to see what ai could do and I scared myself after revising it and pushing the ai a lot. When I sat with it for a long ass time and forced it to revise-revise-revise, it turned out okay-ish, and I wish it didn't. I will support the use of grammarly tho when it's your own work + support Ukrainian businesses.

And I'll admit this was before I knew about the environmental impact so since then I am learning more, I ackowledge that it wasnt worth it, and have stopped using it to test writing limits, etc. :)

no way ppl are using ai to write ao3. what happened to being a tortured writer. what happened to blood on the page. what happened to the ao3 curse. people used to get run over, have their houses burned down, break their entire spines and they still put in the work to finish a chapter. fuck you, using ai. y’all are weak

[sharky-teeth]

anyone looking for more wincest fic recs?? nobody?? okay here you go anyway. i have a bunch of fics i couldn't fit into the other list, so i needed to make a brand new one with more variety this time around. i organized it by wordcount to make things easier, however i rarely read long fics, so these are mostly pretty short. once again this list got way out of hand...

(for mature or explicit rating, you can assume it's [sometimes implied] bottom sam, or it isn't discussed. for bottom dean or versatile samdean, i made a small separate section of my favorites.)

1k~5k

Remember the Mountain Bed by nigeltde (G, 1k): post canon. sam and dean jr. one of the only fics that have ever made me cry and with only a thousand words! this one is so very dear to my heart, heartbreaking in its details, yet warm and soothing at the same time. just gorgeous.

Are You by lovetincture (G, 1k): one of my favorite gen fics. i adore second person POV and this is a great example of how it can maximize impact.

I Was the Dirty Little Boy (E, 1k): a quick weecest sparring session turning into spanking... you know. the good stuff.

Stealth Run by LaughableLament (E, 1k): late seasons + established relationship + possessive dean + slutty sam. i love this author a lot.

State of Mind by lovetincture (M, 2k): the summary goes "It's legal in the state of Ohio." yes it is as good as suggested. the tension in this fic mwahh

The Euphoria Emporium by Laughable_Lament (E, 2k): sam and dean visit a sex shop and dean gets jealous. quick and nasty.

Be Mine by De_Nugis (T, 2k): first part of a short series. for people who love silly, goofy samdean. this is no plot, pure crack. the kind that actually makes you laugh out loud.

Dating for Dummies by sevenfists (M, 3k): there's not enough first time aftermath fics. this has ruined me because it is the exact level of lighthearted i love, where the brothers continue being brothers first and foremost, even after boning.

We Are Drinking Beer at Noon on Tuesday by whirlpoolsleep (M, 3k): neat outsider POV. always love seeing the brothers through normal people's eyes.

With Mercy for the Greedy by whiskyandoldspice (E, 3k): unmatched weecest pwp. the amount of hits/kudos doesn't always mean quality but for this one it absolutely does. this is pretty much flawless in my eyes.

August 5th, 2001 by coricomile (M, 4k): established weecest! this was cute and tender with the right amount of angst surrounding sam's imminent departure. bittersweet ending.

Run It All Over by runawaydr3amer (E, 4k): first part of a series. the classic "brotherly handjobs" scenario, but it immediately stood out to me. really on point voices and hot amosphere.

Dean's palm would be rougher by FrancesHouseman (M, 4k): hand kink! i think we can all relate to sam here. this has a scene that's hotter than many pwps i've read lol

Know when to walk away and know when to run by deirdre_c (E, 4k): brothers playing strip poker goes too far... set in s3. great sexual tension and a super satisfying first time.

At Least It's Only One Song by ADeedWithoutaName (E, 4k): dean-gifting-sam-a-lap-dance fic. another outsider POV with an instantly likable OC. she can tell there's something off about those guys...

sticks and stones and weed and bones by aeroport_art (M, 5k): sam seeing a therapist at stanford. really great character study and winchester family dynamics. the conclusion to this story is just... crazy. so well done.

Shadows on the Sun by Linden (M, 5k): soft weecest first kiss! the thing i liked most in this story is how protective they both are. nice brotherly feelings.

wretched creation (M, 5k): one of my favorite reads of last year! criminally underrated work with less than a thousand hits. angsty feels and an unsettling atmosphere. dean facing a demon who knows more about his feelings toward his little brother than he'd like.

Forty-One by themegalosaurus (E, 5k): angsty unnegotiated kinky sex with lots of hell trauma. the kind of porn that's so nuanced and well written it doesn't get me horny (that's a compliment!)

Monumentally Stupid by strive2bhappy (5k): dean helps sam shave and it was hotter than i could ever imagine. great banter, tension, and emotional weight.

Double Solitaire by objectlesson (M, 5k): post mystery spot. amazing character study through a very creative concept. this is one of the authors who really knew how to write dysfunctional wincest.

6k~10k

this bullet inside me by missroserose (E, 6k): who's up for angsty first time in a long time? if you enjoy hathfrozen (i'm sure you do), this will definitely hit a similar spot.

Belonging by strive2bhappy (6k): wifey sam. i repeat Wifey Sam!!!

Lucky Streak by merle_p (M, 6k): thirsty pining done so right. incest that gives you butterflies in the stomach, believe it or not.

You Can't Lose What You Never Had by nigeltde (E, 6k): nigeltde is an incredible writer. from beginning to end this fic is insane. angsty, desperate, emotional, shameful, this takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions. top notch characterization.

How it Works by Dyed_Red (M, 6k): this is probably in my top ten fics of all time, peak codependent, obsessive, dysfunctional samdean. this particular fic really nails their dynamic and the most delicious, fucked up aspects of it.

Taking to Give by Dyed_Red (M, 7k): lovely character study. this one is a bit softer than most Dyed_Red works, it offers an emotional view of sam and dean growing up. heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

Wire Inside Me by merle_p (E, 7k): the sam-is-carrying-lucifer's-baby fic. this story is great for how it deals with the pregnancy pushing dean over the edge. the first time tension here is excellent!

Dean is badass. Sam has always known it. by FrancesHouseman (E, 7k): very interesting dynamic with sam and dean playing mind games to see who gives in first. i like this cocky sam a lot.

Hush Little Baby by hellhoundsprey (E, 7k): CNC weecest. sam and dean go to a haunted house and get up to some nasty freaky shit. it's even better than you can imagine. fyi there's dean in a clown costume.

they said it was the fall of man by jukeboxhound (M, 7k): set in s6, the aftermath of sam getting his soul back through dean's POV. pure angst and overwhelming emotions, beautifully written, it hurt so good.

Man of Steel by glovered (T, 8k): THE lighthearted incest fic for me. along the lines of paxlux's 'Artery', at least to me. this borders on crack, a hilarious, feel-good story that always makes me smile when i think about it.

Disney Princess Hair by Dyed_Red (T, 8k): gencest/weirdcest in its best shape. sam as sleeping beauty! and obviously dean being very very very weird about handling the curse. i loved how this touched on the obsessive aspects of their relationship while keeping the tone light.

Architecture of Choice by Dyed_Red (E, 9k): yes another Dyed_Red work bc they're my favorite author. this one has one of my fave tropes (fuck or die) and it deals with sam's lack of bodily autonomy in a visceral way.

Pull over by jjtaylor (E, 9k): for my piss play enjoyers! this has lots of great tension and it goes way beyond kinky sex.

This Is All Very Meta by road_rhythm (E, 10k): loss of virginity roleplay fic. except it's sooo much more than that. i thought this would be fun and lighthearted, couldn't have been more wrong. the emotional depth delivered here caught me by surprise, but it shouldn't have, given the author. flawless characterization as usual.

God will forgive me but by sammyatstanford (E, 10k): weecest with lots of pining!sam and angsty yearning. brothers who need each other in sick, twisted ways. there was also a great amount of actual brotherly feelings, which is always a plus in my book.

>10k

Acid by Goshen (E, 12k): to this day one of the most insane things ever written. this fic is a classic, it's a surreal experience, a fever dream. dissecting the brotherfuckers, no stone left unturned.

Baby Blue by Edwardina (E, 13k): sam gets hit with a curse that makes him need to suck on a pacifier 24/7. it turned out to be way less sexual than i expected, this is for caretaker!dean lovers.

Learn to say the same thing by glovered (T, 14k): great case fic. sam and dean go to a single's retreat in the mountains for a case and eventually have to confront their incestuous feelings. every glovered fic just fills me with joy.

Supersize Me, Sammy by awabubbles (E, 16k): sadly one of the only size queen sam fics ever written, but it is absolutely perfect so i made my peace with that.

Only Natural (Be My Hands) (E, 17k): sam manages to break both his wrists so dean steps up to take care of his needs. and i mean all of his needs.

Relapse by ani_coolgirl (M, 21k): lebanon AU. i adore this fic, i'm in love with it, i think about it all the time and will think about it forever probably. everything here was done incredibly well, one of those fics that feel specifically made for me lol

Edges by glovered (M, 23k): amazing banter and lots of UST. set in stanford era but it's not really angsty. the tone was just perfect for me, this fic had me GIDDY.

Driving Down the Darkness by Nutkin (M, 39k): one of my faves in terms of Brotherly Feels. extremely well written and thoughtful, super slow burn. outstanding early seasons getting together fic that everyone should read.

bottom dean and versatile samdean recs:

Like a Ghost with Two Voices by Dyed_Red (E, 46k): my favorite demon!dean fic. some of the wildest scenes i've ever read. pretty disturbing and incredibly delicious. if you're into fucked up consent stuff, this is a must read. it has a happy ending!

Burn the Witch by urchinesque (E, 80k): very solid case fic, set in s10, with sam and dean trying to work through their issues. slow sloww burn, witch!sam shenanigans, mild pining. really enjoyed their voices here.

Take Backs by saltandbyrne (E, 2k): swesson + switching. hands down one of the best PWPs i've ever read, which was to be expected from saltandbyrne. it really doesn't get filthier than this.

How to Wear Polka Dots by homo_pink (M, 6k): swesson. this one is so so weird. and so charming. interesting and refreshing writing style, i had so much fun reading this.

Here's Your Future by autoschediastic (E, 7k): weecest with teasing!dean for a change. loved the power dynamics here, and the intensity throughout the whole fic. desperate, guilty first time, badwrong at its finest.

Enduring Love by oschun (E, 7k): really enjoyed the relationship study here, insightful and well written.

there will be better days by deadlybride (E, 9k): my favorite heaven fic! so warm and peaceful and emotional, full of love and longing and happy reunited soulmates. just thinking about this story makes my heart ache in the best way. really really beautiful.

Yeah, I'm a Back Door Man (E, 22k): established relationship. dean's hell trauma. this was a rollercoaster, great character study, good mix of angst and schmoop as well. probably the best bottom dean i've read so far (along with a couple Goshen works)

Yesterday, minnesota by Goshen: (E, 29k): speaking of applecrumbledore... this fic truly rewired my brain. the queen of "fucking for years without talking about it until one of them snaps". brilliantly executed, one of my favorite deans ever.

yay it's finally over! still i wish i had more long fics to rec lmao do check tags carefully before reading! enjoy the wincest goodness!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks