#i have like 10 sketchs😭💀

[ghostbny]

Kirbytober day 2: revenge

[canon-can-fight-me]

Self insert lore post (under cut) / sketch dump

So I am deep in the honeymoon phase right now and I’m doodling this ship like a middle schooler with a crush, so here’s a lore dump about my ultr.aman s/i 💖

Vera, otherwise known as SoVeryKitty (Kitty), is a streamer/ vtuber who has a large following and social media presence

She moved from her home country to Japan for college, got her degree in animation, and started working for an animation company. She started doing streaming on the side to make more money, and found great success.

Her face isn’t really a secret but she is more known for her vtuber identity, but feels a pressure to maintain a certain image that doesn’t fully align with who she really is.

The first time she meets Ken she has no idea who he is. Zero. (She’s seen him in ads and around town but she is a homebody and literally never paid him any mind 😭)

Which is very funny because he actually watches her streams and has even donated subs before 💀 but because of her disregard of who he is, he decides to play down his identity.

Honestly I think they count as the “I like you for you” trope because even when she does find out that he’s a baseball player she’s like oh. okay cool I guess

Meanwhile there’s this subplot where she forms a friendship/crush with Ultr.aman, all while having no idea of his true identity. It’s one of those tropes again but I love the secret identity trope, I absolutely eat it up.

💖 Post dating lore

Vera absolutely ADORES Emi (Ken’s adopted ka.iju daughter). The same way how Emi becomes interested in baseball after watching Ken play, she also finds Kitty to be so cool. She even wants to do her makeup like Kitty does and Ken has to explain that she can’t because 1) she’s literally 10 months old and 2) they don’t make block makeup for 20 feet tall people. Vera makes up for this by getting Emi and a custom made block makeup set complete with an appropriately sized mirror. Agh their relationship is the cutest I love Emi 🩷

Vera also gets along with other characters such as Mira, Ami, etc I just haven’t thought about their role in her life yet!

Vera’s relationship with Ken is kept secret, for the sake of both their careers (at least at first), but they’re also not super great at being sneaky. I mean, one of them literally goes to visit his crush as a 130 foot tall giant, if that clues you in…

I’d add more but this is already so long, but this is what I came up with so far.

[gamerbearmira]

Hello resident evil au person sorry for the hiatus but I am back! First off I would like to say thank you Soo much for that snippet it was sooo beautiful and well done I've read it like 10 times now and I can't wait to see what you come up with next! also I love what you did with Isabela camilo and Bruno designs they look so cool!

I thought about what you said about the children idea and I agree that it would make sense for her to get them a bit how Alcina got her daughter so I thought about it and decided that Miranda would probably pick three orphaned children around five or younger (I was thinking boys since in the Madrigal family there's a generation of two girls and a boy then a generation of two boys and a girl and then one with all girls but not one with all boys and I don't know it just feels like it completes the rotation if that make sense?)

Their names are Desmond, Cassius and Sebastian they like Alcina's daughters have no memory of their human life and immediately saw Mirabel as their mother they can turn into moths just like she can but it's different species of moths for all four of them Mirabel can turn into the Madagascan sunset moth Desmond turns into the White witch Cassius turns into the Antheraea assamensis and Sebastian turns into the Polyphemus moth. I don't have much for each of their personalities just that Sebastian is a mama's boy and follows Mirabel wherever she goes and does whatever she says and gets jealous whenever she isn't paying attention to him (if it's his brothers his a little more tolerant but after an hour he will start to get huffy). Desmond is a bookworm and will read everything he can no matter what the book is about he also loves to paint play music and to make things out of yarn with Mirabel whether that's embroidering knitting whatever. Cassius is the wild child running around getting into anything and everything he can he has a temper that rivals pepas he has rage fits that he has a hard time controlling and usually goes to Mirabel when he's getting too worked up and she helps calm him down. I haven't thought about what they looked like I thought I would leave that up to you!

As always any and all artwork is appreciated and loved!

YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE BUT I’M BACK 🙏

No but I am SOOOOO sorry this took basically a month the to get back to??? I was busy a lot of June and the thing is?? I literally started the drawing?? But I got distracted and completely forgot BUT THE ETHAN DRAWING REMINDED ME!! SO WE'RE BACK ON THE GRIND❗❗❗💪💪💪💪

ALSO I'M GLAD YOU LIKED THE SNIPPET!!! Maybe I'll do more hmmmm 🦫🦫

ANYWAYYYYY I finally did Luisa and Agustín. Eventually I'll do all of the family with color, but for now only sketches 😞But I'm glad you liked Isabela, Camilo and Bruno! Fun fact lol, at the time I had redone Camilo's jacket bout 3 times 💀💀

And I did get to do the triplets!! Also I like the idea of three boys, very fitting now that you mention the other gens 🤭🤭

They are very silly...I tried my best to match them based on their personalities. Also note, if they were colored in, their antennae and wings would match the moths, I swear 😭 also I gave them antenna and wings. Because they are still small children being exposed to the black mold 🌚 and I think they'd look more similar to Mirabel in that way. Except Mirabel has dragonfly wings, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT

An idea I had, like Antonio lol, I think the younger the subject, the more susceptible they are to more physical/openly visual changes. Another fun fact, I almost gave the family members bug parts based on what you discribed them 🪕🪕🪕

ALSO RANDOM QUESTION...but like still related. If there was a family tree (given that this Casita is basically a darker, probably black mold invested version), would it be normal OR.

Would Mirabel be at the top and everyone just below her because, by Miranda's rules, she's technically the head of the house, not Alma. The seniority isn't by age but rather by the fact that Mirabel was named as that by Miranda. Idk, I was just thinking about it 🦀🦀

[exo-raskreia]

you'll probably won't see this message but i'll send it anyway lol.. i love you speak your mind about how the ichihime ship isn't that great and has all the facts to bring it show that you're right. i always felt scared to say i don't ship ichihime cuz they're are alot of shippers that can get so intense about it. i always say that ichihime is a cute ship and they have their moments(i don't feel that way at all lol) cuz i don't want to be attacked for not liking how their story played out. twitter is a scary place oml💀 and they made me sorta believe that ichiruki doesn't have any chemistry and they're just siblings when i knew in my heart like yes they do have chemistry and are the superior ship. like ichigo cares more for chad and uryuu then orihime. but since their canon, i guess their love for each other is supposed to be legit. apparently ichigo sees his mother in orihime so i don't understand why that's not a turn-off for the shippers😭so yeah thanks for making me go back in my bleach fangirl era and making my 10-year old self to not feel guilty and stupid shipping ichiruki

Wow, thanks so much, anon! And ur welcome! I will forever be on IchiRuki's side no matter what anyone says 😤.

You don't have to be scared to support what was, and still is, the most popular ship in Bleach (and rightfully so). There was no real ship war during its run (despite what the antis try to claim now), as IR was shipped by most of the fanbase. IR had everything you could hope a M/F ship to have in a battle shounen, the most solid basis for becoming canon with just one more step...and yet... (Kubo fumbled 🙄). The theories on that are interesting...

While more than half the IR fandom is no longer active after that disastrous ending, it doesn't mean they're not still out there. I've seen even non-shippers still praise IR & see it as wasted potential & whatnot (triggering antis in the process 🤭). Not being canon doesn't take away from the fact that it is still the superior ship. Anyone with reading comprehension who reads the manga will see it & wonder why they didn't end up together.

IH was never popular in Japan. It was always far below IchiRuki & UlquiHime (Ori's most popular ship 👀. Kubo achieved in ONE arc what he couldn't achieve for IH the entire manga, like-). To this day, those 2 ships get more content than the canon ships 😌.

The antis are just triggered that despite becoming canon, their ship is still. not. popular. IH doesn't have nearly as much content (both canon AND fanon) as IR & UH despite being canon for almost 10 years. Yes, Kubo himself doesn't care enough to give them even one family sketch 🫢.

Compare that to the Naruto endgame ships (mainly NaruHina & SasuSaku), which have way more official AND fan content. Those were always popular, & still are, 10 years later since becoming canon. Pro-Bleach ED fans love to compare their ships with Naruto's yet are nowhere near as popular.

The IH's really thought they would get the NaruHina royal treatment after the ending (you know, like a movie, official drawings from the creator, interviews saying they were meant to be, merch, etc.), but instead only got a novel that wasn't even focused on them (Ren/Ruki is more popular than IH but mainly because of Rukia 🤣), which vaguely went over their so-called "development" & had chicken scratches a rough draft of a sketch for their ship 🫢. Kubo also said in an interview that IH tried dating in college once but then broke up, later getting back together at some point. Super vague. And mind you, all this happened AFTER Rukia's wedding 🫢👀. So, we can only guess what was going through Ichigo's mind- Doesn't sound like Ichigo was all that interested, huh? Yet the IH's claim he was madly in love with her & "came back to life for her" & whatnot. Almost 10 years later & Kubo still can't be clear on when Ichigo supposedly started to "fall" for Ori despite being his "intended" endgame 💀.

The WDKALY novel has such OOC content on there, like it can't be taken seriously. Apparently, Kubo barely had any involvement with it anyway? Those sketches he drew sure are telling, esp if he calls his drawings here as a "rough draft" 💀

"Chicken scratches" for the canon ships, fr 😭.

RR is another dumpster fire but also more meh for me so I don't have to delve into that one, however, here's a post I once made where I go over why I don't truly believe Renji had feelings for Rukia. Meanwhile, Rukia's sad expression on the novel cover & the sketch of heading to the altar with a scared expression (not even when she was headed to her own execution did she look like THAT) say it all anyway 🫢.

Oh, man, there's just so much to make fun of for the canon ships. Even when we lose, we still win. IH's have no content, so maybe that's why they're so bitter & IR & its shippers still live in their minds rent-free despite them calling it a "dead ship". You would think they'd happily enjoy their canon ship & yet... They get triggered whenever IR fanart garners thousands of likes on Twitter 😩...

So, anon, I suggest not to engage with antis, esp on platforms like Twitter & Reddit. They're cesspools full of dudebros & loud IH's. Ignore, block, &/or mute them. No need to try arguing with them & please do NOT cater to them. Do NOT give them the validation they don't even get from Kubo himself, nor his affiliates (LMFAO). Use that energy to look for other fellow IR's & enjoy IR content (and maybe anti-IH content in the right places; you can explore that tag on my blog if u wish 🤪).

As an old saying in this fandom went, "Keep Calm & Ship IchiRuki."

[jabesa0]

Hii I amabsoloutly inlove eith your artstyle.

can I ask a few questions? :<

how lomg does your deawings usually take? and do you have any speedpaints,,, uploaded somewbere... for studying purposes

your drawings makr me want to to back to lineless art lol. and not take it so hard on myself.....

Hi there!! Unfortunately I don’t have any speedpaints seeing as I stop drawing while I’m working on my stuff cuz I get distracted easily 😭😭 so if I did you’d just have big periods where nothings happening LOL usually I post process shots on my personal irl server after each drawing session just so I can see how far along I am but that’s about it!

Also I fully support lineless!! I don’t do any lineart (clearly LOL) and it’s more fun to just paint over your sketch and make as you go!! And yeah don’t be so hard on yourself anon! Art is hard and shit takes time, so whether you take a few days on a piece or months I think you should be proud that you actually made something, even if it’s just for yourself :)!!

As for the question of how long I take on my drawings:

(More under the cut!)

As for how long it takes me to make drawings, I’d say it varies like this purple mammon I recently posted took a month but that’s because I had lots of final school work to do and I got sick twice during that time 💀💀 but this three pose page I did as a commission:

This one took me 9 days which is crazy when I think abt it actually cause there’s way more happening but yeah!!

This mammon in the back dress as well took about five days!! So to give you an estimate I’d say anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks? Most mammons I do usually end up being on the lower half of that range! Outside circumstances may make it vary but that’s usually the time it takes!!

Oh and I’d like to add that I usually am a night owl and only start working till around the evening times when I draw!! So when I say days I don’t mean like I spend d all day over my tablet, I don’t think that’d be very good for your health anyways 🤕🤕 take breaks yall play a game you like or watch something on YouTube!!! Don’t spend all your time working lest you burn out!!

I’m gonna be real with all of you, cause my friends make fun of me for it ALL THE TIME LOL but the largest majority of mammon drawing time is like 80% redrawing the face over and over and 20% the rest give or take. I drive myself crazy drawing mammon faces cause I need it to be perfect cause it’s mammon so when it’s not “perfect” I keep working at it and I don’t move on until it is 💀💀 my friends notice a cycle where it’s like:

“You guys I have such a fire idea for a mammon drawing” (makes sketch and flats in like 10 mins) —> (starts face) “wait you guys this face is kinda good maybe I won’t spend fifty years on it :D” —> “eehhhhhhgh okay face not looking good lemme see if I can tweak it” —> “okay face need to be redone.” —> “I decided against redoing it I’m just gonna fix what I have” —> “we gotta throw the whole idea out and start again.” —> “wait you guys I think I did it the face looks good asf was I crying for nothing before??” (They tell me yes I always do) —> (I move on from the face) —> (the rest is completed within 2-4 days) —> Done!

It’s stupid as hell I know LOL but when it comes to mammon if i don’t make him as best as I can I don’t feel like I do him justice. The things we do for love, right?

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Skipped a day, let’s catch up a little.

Anonymous asked:

Congratulations on getting your Twitter account back! 🥳🥳🥳

Thank you so much, dear Anon! <3

Anonymous asked:

Question, you guys reading vignettes? If you do, do you not wanna be spoiled, cuz there was something i wanted to mention. It's one of the Playful Land vignettes-

We’ve seen all the vignettes related to the Playful Land, so feel free to mention whatever you want from them! :)

In general, we do watch vignettes, but we haven’t seen every single twst vignette. I wish people uploaded them more without the official translation.

Anonymous asked:

THE SCARS ON SILVER'S BODY..... Frothing at the mouth, I wish twst would show Sebek and Silver with scars!!!!!! She's so pretty she has the most suckable nipple out ❤️💕💝

(related to the lilisil sketch from yesterday)

Hehehe THANK YOU ANON

Absolutely agreed about the scars, and I really love adding them when I draw these two naked. Rook too, I guess…

I’m very happy you appreciate the nipple 👀🙏

Anonymous asked:

So, I just saw the vignette where Azul tries to teach Silver to be more authoritative. We know how Sebek reacted, but how do you think Lilia would react if Silver tried to be more "dominant" in front of him?

Ah yes, Azul and his alpha lessons 😭 Such a good vignette!! I really love how Sebek is completely immune to Silver’s attempt to assert any type of dominance. You didn’t have a winning chance here, Azul. The only thing you got is your friends laughing at you yet again…

Now, to answer your question! I think Lilia would be surprised yet amused at first because this is so unlike Silver, but then he would turn on his smug dominant face and say something like “you think you’re bold enough to defy your father? It is a challenge then and I won’t hold back”. And then he would discipline him… well, if only Silver had it in him to act that way in front of Lilia lol

And if Silver tries to be more assertive with his kohais, and Lilia happens to witness it, he would still be surprised and amused, but also kind of proud??  But also 100% sure that Silver won’t be able to keep up this act for longer than 10 minutes lol

Anonymous asked:

Oooh see now you got me thinking about Baul... I've only read the parts of Ch7 that are in English, so what I know is limited. He interacts with Sebek and Lilia quite a bit, and the only bottom he's really met so far is Silver.

I'd also like to say, he is very similar to Sebek, so I think him being a top is accurate!

That being said, who could he be shipped with... Maybe Silver? Silver has been with Sebek, but would he be interested in Baul? Or better yet, would Baul be interested in him? I don't know.

...Or what about Malleus? Same idea, he likes to occasionally tease and tempt Sebek. What about two Sebeks tho?? Two Zigvolts?? Would Malleus want both of them? A Zigvolt sandwich. 💀 Or would they conspire to have their way with the crown prince...? 👀 Truly scandalous! 😨🤭💚

You know, Anon, I had a feeling that Silver wouldn’t escape a Baul ship, and that this is the scenario I would end up drawing at some point, but the more I think about it, the more likely it seems lol One day…

But in general, having any kind of intimacy or relationship (even just some moments) with Baul would probably be so weird for Silver and fun for all of us to witness, considering he really is similar to Sebek (also once again, knowing nothing about ch7).

Now, whether Malleus would want both of them is an interesting question, but I have a feeling that he would manage to tempt and torment both of them lol He might enjoy the contrast between someone so young and eager to prove himself; and someone who is older and more experienced, and yet very obedient.

You know what, Silver will get himself into a Zigvolt sandwich too. Zigvolt sandwiches for everyone!

Anonymous asked:

That picture of Jade with blood all over him and having the caption “ what’s wrong ? “ makes me think of Kokichi ouma. Now I have the image of Jade just repeatedly asking Azul “whatswrongwhatswrongwhatswrong?” just to irritate him.

Oh my god. This is some “I have nothing better to do” behaviour, Jade really should get back to work and stop bothering Azul.

Azul should be grateful this isn’t the real Kokichi Ouma… it’s not like Jade is any better, but Ouma is another category of “annoying” (we love him…)

[dtupdates-archive]

♡—DREAM was active on Dream__Fanart! He liked:

Yes sir 🫡

bro’s had enough 💀

dreams about to pull up to the droncerts in hella stylish clothes

THE PRINCESS

He’s paranoid about things he cant avoid😔😔😔😔

*sighs*

It’s not his fault 🥺

“NOW I GET IT” (meep meep version)‼️

“You were never meant to rule, my boy. You were meant to conquer.”

dteamies forever and ever :,)

there's a meep 🦭 in your hair

💚🤩💚 superstar in my mind

fluffy green 🟩!

dream stan goes outside ‼️ touches grass ‼️ uses pen and paper to draw ‼️

Bbg‼️RE-DRAW!!

Our Superstar 💚

"The one who got yellow card is you."

painting this man is my favorite thing to do💖✨

dream : )

bubbling with love ! ⋆·˚ ༘ *

so i’ve heard..

I tried to draw Patches🌟

i drew patches 😻

should i make him a puppy?🤔

He never wins any of their debates btw

At 4:50am…10 September 2023…Dream__Fanart followed…

Fine here you go

Have a dream doodle

buy now !

He likes the🌙

Baker's dozen? (please someone get the bad & wrong maths joke here)

dreamie <3

i’m a teacher and dream branding was so kind...

repost?

girl wait im literally drawing rn

realized i haven’t posted this sketched i made while chilling by a lake lmao

◉⁠‿⁠◉.

did my duty as a dream stan ‼️

idk what happened but ur blue now

#1 stan 🐷

if i show them you replied theyre gonna go crazy 😭💚💚💚

🐱📷.

i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.

[misc-obeyme]

Thinking about Lucifer knowing Spanish, and I love the idea that he picked it up on his own (HELP, IMAGINE HE LEARNED IT SUPER FAST BEFORE THE EXCHANGE STARTED ONCE HE SAW MY FILE, THAT'D ALSO BE FUNNY). But if Lucifer ever scolded me in Spanish, I'd fr burst into tears and turn into the biggest goody two shoes 💀 (for at least a few days). Like I already hate being lectured, but something about it being in Spanish just 😭 it feels sooo much worse (maybe because there's so much emotion in the language? Dialect? Very big disappointed mom vibes.)

also IT AIN'T GONNA BE ME CONFESSING, THAT'S FOR SURE. Or if I did, it'd be in the most round about way or by accident (catch me pulling a Mammon like in that car ride drabble.). I am saying it in EVERY WHICH WAY except saying 'ily' outright.

It wasn't my day for dinner but you came home sad, and suddenly I'm cooking and it's your favorite dish? Psh, don't mean nothing, I was craving it too. I found a super shiny coin and gifted it to you? I have plentyyy (don't think about the fact I keep shiny coins from the current year in my bag for good luck, and it's the first one I've found all year). I'm spending my last pieces of grimm to buy us a treat to share bc we passed our exam? Well, it'd be wrong if I only got myself one... (true story, spent my last $10 on chipotle kids meals for me and my friend/coworker so we could eat because we were both broke and had two days left to payday)

Mammon will need to grab me by the shoulders and shake me because I would not believe he's into me. I'd come up with an excuse for any evidence that he is into me 💀 He could be like "GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS THAT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!" and I'd be like "you wot? you're joking right?"

like I said, I'm denying it to hell and back because it's scary af !! I've only been in love 2.5 times, and the first time I was brushing off my feelings and making excuses. And then one day I had the "Oh. Oh... Aw, fuck." moment and became a mess around them. I've always been wary of romance (my only relationship ended up toxic, and I became more wary lol)

But the same thing happened with Mammon becoming my fave 😭 I was thinking about other characters (along with Mammon) like Levi, Beel, and Dia. But then everything about Mammon made me fall a little more without realizing, even while I was trying to deny it. I'd get asked my fave character, and I couldn't choose, but Mammon was always an option. And one day I had the "Aw, shit" moment. He won me over with his dumbass ways, heart of gold, and terrible bandaging skills.

*head in hands* THIS MAN MAKES ME WRITE ESSAYS BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL AAAA

anyway I am excited for the new lessons !! my cards are powered UP ! also I got a sketch and lineart update on one of my comms and 😭🫶 literally wanted to jump around at work because it's so perfect and cute (it's me and Mammon cuddling in bed AND RHEY PUT HIM IN A TANK TOP SND YOU CSN SEE HIS MUSCLRS AKDKD)

anyway. I am. so Normal about this. aha... OKAY I AM SENDING GOOD VIBES, AND HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY AND FIND $10 ON THE GROUND TOMORROW (ALSO APPLIES TO ANYONE READING THIS) OKAY BYEEE

- ✨ anon

Disappointed mom vibes lolol. I think that would suit Lucifer really well, actually. He has those vibes anyway, make him lecture in Spanish and it's just even better~

Er. Well. I like when strict characters start scolding people, so perhaps my opinion is invalid in this case. I just find it very funny and it makes me want to tease them so bad.

Anyway, here's my opinion on romance: yes, it's scary af. But it's worth the risk.

Any time you enter into a relationship with someone, especially if there are intense feelings involved, you're taking a risk. No matter what, even in friendship and other such types of relationships. The way to get close to someone is to be vulnerable with them. And there's always the chance that the person you're being vulnerable with will take that as an opportunity to hurt you. But not everybody will. And you'll miss out on the people who won't if you just... don't even try, you know what I mean?

Ehhhh sorry to get all deep on you like that, but I've seen this kinda thing plenty of times in my life. I'm that person everybody tells all their relationship woes to and then I give them advice that they never take. And then it always turns out that I was right all along lol.

I also kinda think it's okay to fall in love with someone but never act on it. Sometimes it feels like I fall in love with everyone I meet. But sometimes you legit fall in love with someone who just... isn't the right one for you. And you know it, so there's no point in trying to pursue anything. And the feelings fade as that person moves on with their life and it just becomes a fond memory.

For what it's worth, I don't think Mammon would ever give up on you. He's not as dumb as everyone makes him out to be. He's actually quite emotionally intelligent. As soon as he finally figured out his own feelings and was able to accept them, he would clock onto yours. And if someone straight up told him (such as one of his brothers), I think he'd keep reaching out to you, keep trying for you, keep doing his best to make it so you're comfortable enough with him to be honest about how you feel~

Anyway, this is just me being a hopeless romantic lol!

Welcome to the Writing Essays About Fictional Characters You Love Club! lol honestly I get so embarrassed about how much I have to say sometimes...

I'm also excited about new lessons! And your commission sounds amazing already!

Sending the good vibes right back to you! May we all find $10 on the ground!!

[hotroadkill]

saw this and wanted to make my own post real quick bc i’ve gotten some questions abt my art before & now that i feel a bit more secure in my style i thought i’d give a few tips to anyone who wanted that :)

first i have to address how the submission is phrased: i'm sorry & i know no one wants to hear this but “keep practicing” is not a platitude that is always going to be the best advice 😭 the real question is:

how do you make practice fun?

1. challenge yourself in a way you find enjoyable/fulfilling :)

i liked doing things like art prompts from inktobers, and to draw comics of the stories i wrote, but mostly the answer for me was “set random number goal, meet random number goal, inject the validation from completed goal directly into my bloodstream, repeat.”

i worked on things kind of systematically, which just made my brain happy; i spent one summer when i was 14 doing nothing but drawing 10 full bodies a day, all with references of course. did the same throughout the fall with hands, then eyes, then expressions, then clothes, etc etc. it always had to be 10 diff angles and positions.

i did a repeat of this 10-drawings-of-10-angles rule throughout quarantine in 2020. failed all my online classes cuz i was drawing 6-10 hours every day and ignoring my homework but still passed the year in the end 💀 i got the idea from yumeii-art; it's been over 7 years since, so idk if i remember right, but she had given a similar rule of thumb as a response to someone's question about drawing without a reference, i think.

is this the Best path? probably not, idk. and it definitely lead to awkward phases where i was much better at drawing bodies than faces, for example — but it worked for me. i liked breaking things down like that, it felt more manageable.

the other number goal was. in 9th grade i saw this post:

and i was like. y’know what? yeah. i keep feeling bad abt my art, how about i put that feeling on pause until after i’ve filled 14 sketch book. i hope this user knows i owe all my achievements to the phrase “fill 14 sketch book” powering me through years of depression and art block.

so i did fill 14 sketch book!

i met that goal between ages 14 and 19. obv this doesnt include the doodles on my homework, on other random surfaces, or the ~150 digital artworks i’d done in that time, so maybe it was more like 16 sketch book? but that doesnt matter, i had 14 labeled & organized sketchbooks that were full, and i did feel better about my art by then. this was my anime training montage. this was 90% of my improvement. this was the best art advice i’d ever gotten.

so i guess what made art the most fun to me was numbers? which sounds lame but i guess since i’m competitive & love competing against myself the most, it just worked for me.

comparisons, with 2016 on the left and 2020 on the right:

(the new sketches are still rough and lack some detail ofc but i have terrible ADHD and always found it hard to sit down and keep working on a sketch once it was “done enough” — for some reason i dont rlly have the same impatience with digital art & have less of a problem completing pieces on my ipad now) (the point is. 14 sketch book level complete. 1000% worth it)

then my 2021-2024 improvement, when i had bought my own ipad and again spent most days drawing instead of doing my schoolwork (i.. did end up failing that first year of uni):

2. try out different mediums aimlessly!

what i mean is just go ham with some charcoal or whatever you have on hand, without the determination to Make It Good. i can’t say if this helped my actual art get better but what it did do was keep the joy of it alive & i had fun which lead to more practice & therefore improvement. color pencils weirdly were my favorite. hell, my school had us do a project with linoleum printing (is that how u spell it idk) and it gave me months’ worth of art inspo.

i also recently got a gift card for a stationery store and got some nice markers and those also gave me a ton of motivation. markers r good

3. if u do digital art, find ur fave brush; it will be ur familiar ur trusted companion ur lover in a past life

for lineart i mostly use the IGB office pack, favorite ballpoint. you’ll have to buy & download it online tho i think it was like $7? but yea it was worth it. (i did a lot of work with the gesinski ink brush in past years but i think it’s a bit too “sharp” now)

but also go crazy try them all it’s fun!

4. in my opinion it’s fine to do redraws of ur fave artist’s work now and then — as long as u keep it to urself and dont take credit for it

i’ve had ppl ask to use my art as a ref and my answer is always Not Sure Why You’d Want To Bc It’s Not All That, But Yes Of Course. as u can see most of my 2021 work was redrawing panels of the “gangsta.” manga; it didn’t even end up influencing my style much, my style was already based on all the manga shit i drew at 13, but it was the only thing i was motivated enough to draw at the time, and it was valuable practice.

art teachers still stress that the best reference is to draw from life & yeah thats true maybe but idc sometimes ur just not feeling that! so mix it up, whatever works. obviously respect it if an artist says not to reference their work and don’t only reference ur art from one artist but generally i think it’s harmless.

especially when there’s a specific thing an artist does very well that’s hard to find other examples of; personally i was fighting for my life trying to find how to best translate references of dynamic movement into art of dynamic movement. and i think the bnha mangaka does this wonderfully so i often referenced thise action panels as practice. and i think it helped loosen up my art style. (and… i was extremely ridiculously mentally ill about hawks so that…. contributed…. my fave ask to date is still the person who clocked hawks as my old fave character based purely on how i draw eyes 😭😭)

tracing is a diff conversation and my advice there is it is not actually helpful and it's. idk it feels very Against Artist Code. sometimes, and i havent done it in a couple years, but if a piece REALLY isnt working i've done the thing where u trace the general movement of a pose then go from there but i've never posted completed works where i used that method bc it felt wrong. but yeah that's a separate thing that i don't wanna go too deep into

5. another fun thing that motivated me to practice was doing speedpaints!

if you draw on procreate, it's probably set up automatically already. i don't have the storage to record everything, but when i do have it on, the knowledge that i'll have a speedpaint of the finished piece pushes me to put the last necessary touches on it. (if you'd like to see some of my speedpaints i have a few on my instagram)

some more technical advice:

1. flip your canvas flip your canvas flip your goddamn canvas i KNOW it hurts i KNOW it’s like ripping off a bandaid that’s superglued to ur skin i know but YOU HAVE TO FLIP YOUR CANVAS

(when i didn’t have an ipad i’d do this by taking a picture of the drawing on my phone and flipping the image in the photo app)

IT IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT I’VE RAGE QUIT SOME PIECES OVER SEEING THE CANVAS FLIPPED BUT LOOK AT THIS ART BEFORE AND AFTER I’D FLIPPED IT AND FIXED HOW WONKY IT WAS: desaturated so tht the colors dont distract so much

like it's the BEST and honestly often the ONLY way you're going to catch things that were off/out of proportion/etc. flipping your canvas gives your brain a "new eye" and it's invaluable.

2. until you have color theory figured out…. i honestly depend on adding layers and setting them to color dodge, divide, multiply, overlay, etc…. i am cheating, perhaps, but it works

3. this is how i draw front-facing noses because it's what a czech woman in an extremely bad mood taught me in a cramped overheated stuffy classroom in germany when i was 12

it was our only meeting but she changed my life. i do not know how common this method is but it's possibly the only thing i can concretely give you a tutorial for. after a few times you won't need to do step 1 anymore

anddd i think that's all the advice i have that wouldn't be a repeat of every other art advice thing you've seen. i do know it boils down to "keep practicing" but again you won't get around that, and i just hope that concretely showing what's motivated me might help motivate someone else.

as an ending note, please take this sentence that motivated me just as much as the 14 sketch book rule: (via graveweaver, author of the webtoon "i'm the grim reaper")

[leeblissy]

hiii emergency commissions open 😋

long story short, the temp period at my previous job ended so I was out of a job for 3 weeks, and now that I do have a job, I won't be getting paid for another 2 weeks and I'm broke as fuck. here's info:

sketches

$10 for bust +$5 per additional person

$20 for full body +$10 per additional person

flat colors

$35 for bust + $15 per additional person

$50 for full body +$20 per additional person

full color

$60 for bust +$25 per additional person

$80 for full body +$35 per additional person

stupid memes with your blorbo drawn over it

$15 +$7 per additional person

I can also draw silly emojis for your discord server

$10 for a head or bust, $15 for waist or full body

additional info

if you want any cool effects like the first full color example or the second flat color example let me know. it'll be an additional charge up to my discretion but I won't try to make it too expensive.

I loooove drawing dnd characters PLEASE give me your characters 😭 🙏

I don't do nsfw but I will draw upper body nudity of adults if you want.

if you want anthro animal characters please provide ample reference.

I won't do any of the regular nasty shit that'd get you on a normal dni list.

you must have a paypal so that i can send you an invoice, and i won’t get started on the piece until the invoice has been paid in full. I will be sending progress updates as i go, so please make sure you’re available to answer your dms and give me feedback so i can make the best possible piece for you!

if you have any questions, I'll make sure my dms are open! if you want something specific that doesn't necessarily show up on this list feel free to ask, I'll think about it 👌

refund policy

if you change your mind after you paid, but before i start working on your piece, I'll refund you in full.

if you cancel the commission partway through, I'll give you a partial refund. we can work out the exact amount together, but I get the final say based on how much I've already done.

if I cancel the commission for any reason, I'll send you a full refund no matter how much I got done and send you what I did of it.

closing thoughts

thank you for reading, I am trans and neurodivergent and need some cash 💀 please feel free to reblog or share with your friends 💕

[wolame-o-ccx]

would genuinely love to see your process for sketching out your comics!! ive wanted to make my own but i have never really figured out the process and end up overwhelmed- and you're one of the folks who makes stuff in a style that I kinda draw close to, and u do ur comics with pencil and paper- so if you wouldn't mind in the future, it'd be really cool to see how you actually get everything planned :)

This ask is so cute :( probably genuinely the biggest compliment I've ever received! Well, no waiting in the future! I'll tell you now what happens behind the scenes! :)

SO FIRSTLY, I'd like to clarify I am in no way a professional or even close to one, I never even looked up how to do comics, I just kinda do them and use what I've read from DC comics and Pinterest tips.

But! Personally, I find that making comics is fun and that's what I strive on. I won't lie when I say my comics are pretty bland, the surroundings are empty and lame but I think the character's expressions and body language make up for it, and especially the script. So altogether in this post, I'll be breaking down how my comics are made!

↓↓↓ if you're interested, open up the full post!

1 - Scripting

In both dialogue and character detail/placing!

I use a notes app for when I get ideas!

* I usually don't do specific dialogue, only stating the idea and then coming up with dialogue in my head, but there are some exceptions where I do write down pre-thought-out dialogues you can see in the examples I put below!

With the idea / dialogue in tow, we can go to character detail / placing. I don't know the actual word for it but basically how the character acts in a specific scene / dialogue!

Character expression is especially important when it comes to any type of art, be it comics or animation as it can tell a story with little to no dialogue!

* panels taken from 1 and 2 for context

From here you can clearly tell their expressions well! Be sure to exaggerate!

2 - Limit planning

With Tumblr's 10 images limit, as well as Instagram if you post there, it's important to note that limit and know when to end the comic with a good panel where it doesn't feel like it's supposed to continue UNLESS you're making two parts!

I can't tell you how many times I've ruined my sketchbook papers trying to get a perfect script but I've been doing it long enough that my brain has adapted to the limit and every comic I've done since adapting had been a perfect ≤10.

But even if you decide to go with two (or maybe even more) parts, you should make sure it ends well still! Like a book! Those spaces between paragraphs and chapters and such!

Take these for examples too!

* panels taken from 1 and 2 for context

So treat it like a book! I guess ?

3 - Panel placement

This isn't a necessity, but my personal way of drawing each panel is having it scattered around randomly around my sketchbook. I don't use strips or anything like that as it restricts me because using strips on paper is a whole lot harder than on digital. Because I have such a wide area to draw, I'm less restricted from drawing any excess things I want to add in case my dialogue doesn't fit the panel or so!

4 - Draw

Now to put it all together and make the comic! I usually already have my vision in mind so I can just go draw it without a light sketch layer, but I do recommend it!

What that is is essentially a sketch but drawn like.. your pencil is hovered above the page? Like you don't press down on it or something like that. Basically a guideline! So do that if you need it, and when you're satisfied with how it looks, you can draw it! And make sure it's clear!

After that, it's just picture and post! (Make sure you crop it right tho!)

4.5 - BONUS / TIPS

When I started posting Belos drawings, I never expected it to get any attention or even end up as a whole AU 😭 I just drew him in a babygirl hoodie and people ate that shit up so now it's an AU 💀 and because of that you need to prepare personalized tags!

Tags like pitmdau or sharing caleb au ! Very very useful for navigation

More important than tags, make sure you have a Masterpost!

I'm aware mine are unfinished and very messy and I'm trying to work on that right now but it's very difficult but people really need it so when making Masterposts, YOU HAVE KEEP UP WITH IT. I slacked of for ONE POST and now it's a mess.

Also another important note you can only put 100 links in one post so you have to make more Masterposts to navigate through the comics 😭

5 - Have fun!

When getting into comic making, I think really the most important thing to keep in mind is your enjoyment in making said comics. Sometimes some things can burn you out very quickly so when you're getting into things like this, especially when you're not getting paid, you gotta make sure you have fun doing it. It doesn't matter if it doesn't get a lot of traction or not, it only matters that you are enjoying making and posting them!

I've experienced MULTIPLE burn outs from making too many comics for my TOH AUs that at some point I just completely died and lacked motivation. But what drives me into making them are other people's enjoyment! Their enjoyment gives me enjoyment which gives me motivation to make more. Someday I'll know the AUs I've created will inevitably be over, at some point, but right now I'm just having fun with the small community I've built!

So make comics, and have fun!

I hope this was helpful in any way. I just want to clarify that, again, this is my way of making comics, and you don't have to follow anything I put into the post. I'm mostly hoping this was easy to understand as well. I'm more of a visual learner so making up the words to make this was kinda hard so I'm sorry if some parts didn't make sense. If anything, feel free to hit me with another ask or a PM! I know me not posting seems like I'm inactive but I promise I check Tumblr frequently 😭

Happy posting!!! :3

[seung-scrittore]

all of them

was js gonna reply with “no” but challenge accepted

🖌️ - Do you have/want any tattoos?

i hv 2 rn, i wanna get a full body piece in a couple years

💚 - What's your favourite colour?

black / orange

🍕 - What's the last thing you ate?

🌯 !

🕰️ - What time is it where you are rn?

22:17 or 10:17 pm EST

🌟 - What is your zodiac sign?

libra ♎️

[ MORE ANSWERS BELOW CUT LMAO 💀 ]

🌍 - What is your favourite accent?

aussie, but im biased cuz of my own accent 💀

⚡️- Do you have any scars?

more than i can count but theyre all small so idc

🌺 - What's your MBTI type?

esfp-t

🥀 - Favourite animated movie?

…idk… tie between the first ice age movie & up !

📺 - Favourite show?

shameless

😂 - Are you ticklish?

barely but yes

💍 - Do you ever want to get married?

if that’s what my partner wants absolutely

😳 - Do you like your name?

yes ?? what does this question mean 😭

💙 - What colour is your bedroom?

grey

🤓 - How did you get your name?

my mommy

🎓 - When did/do you graduate?

n/a, prefer not to answer publicly

🍄 - Do you have/want any piercings?

yep, 6 rn. i want more in the future tho

👀 - What colour are your eyes?

greyish-greenish-bluish? idrk i always get dif opinions

👱‍♀️ - What is your go to hairstyle?

uhm,, messy

🥂 - Have you ever drank underage?

n/a, won’t catch me incriminating myself on main ‼️

🍾 - Have you ever gotten drunk?

n/a, ^

😱 - What's your biggest fear?

being forgotten prolly,, or chickens

🥵 - Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

too cold

🌦️ - What's your favourite weather?

hm… post-rain, when it’s foggy n a little gross but it feels calming to be out,,

🍂 - What's your favourite season?

fall/autumn

🐷 - What's your favourite animal?

wallabies !!!!

🐶- Do you have any pets?

yes, 4 kitties ! they’re menaces, i love my kids

😴 - What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

60 something hours,,, in my defense i’ve been an insomniac since i was little

🎨- Any hobbies?

sketching, soccer, rugby, journaling, gaming,, etc.

🛩️ - If travelling was free, where's the first place you'd go?

i alr travel a lot (my poor wallet) but i haven’t gone to the caribbean yet,,, i’d go to jamaica 🇯🇲

🎇 -What's your most searched thing on Google?

idk… probably random definitions

📱 - Favourite app on your phone?

spotify >>>>

🤠 - Are you more of a city person or a country person?

i wouldnt survive in the country,, im a city boy 100%

[onlyswan]

hello! tulip anonie came back from the dead 🪦

i’ve just been catching up on your posts and why am i seeing people saying you’re leaving?!? 😭 but i’m so glad you clarified that you just need a break and i’m so sorry you have to go through that my love ♡ i just want to say if you really need a break then take it. you don’t have to write anything, and you don’t owe anyone anything. i think sometimes a slump is what we need to make us feel the yearning to do something that we love again because we’ll miss it eventually.

i guess may was a rough month for everyone. take your time to do selfcare for a whole week because may was an ass and i -too- wanna kick it in the butt for being the toughest and longest month so far. i know the ‘lack’ of interaction / appreciation for your writings lately can be discouraging and i totally get that. like sometimes it can feel as if a negative comment would be better than nothing, because at least ‘someone is acknowledging something that i made’. but i’m so happy so many people came to give you the love and support and it proves that you’re so loved and appreciated because your works really helped people to find comfort and have a peaceful time even just for 10 minutes of their (mine too) 24 hour long and tiring day.

oooh… and i want to tell you about a bit of my life lately… remember that i was going to yoongi’s concert and it was my first ever concert and you told me to forget everything except my ticket and powerbank? yea… my powerbank broke and i had to borrow this lovely lady’s 💀 i got a vip soundcheck and practically a barricade 🥹 i still can’t believe i got to see 1 of 7 of them right in front of my eyes 😭 i had so much fun and as an introvert -i hate crowded places so much and meeting so many people makes me anxious- i never thought i’d love concert as much as i did! but i’ll give it to yoongi and the lovely people i met, army 🫶🏻 because they’re the nicest people on earth istg. talking with armies online is so nice, but meeting so much of them in real life was soooo much better. the whole time i saw them, my brain just went “wow… we really love the same person / band huh. the tannies are so loved. i love it here”. speaking of concert… i got tickets for coldplay too! 😭praying that they will perform my univers live 🕯️🪐✨

and here we are in june! let’s have fun with tannies because it’s our month! i started this month still with a neverending college final project *booing and throwing tomatoes*. but i’m so happy because i finally found the type of pencil i’ve been searching for soooo long that i got out of my year long drawing slump… and i’ve been practicing again with drawing jungkook’s nose because i love it so much and i wanna *boop* it. and as i was sketching, i was watching the festa livestreams the whole day. a therapeutic experience :’] i miss them soooo much ❤️‍🩹

as i’m writing this, i’m eating unripe mangoes with salt and chili. reminds me of that drabble where jungkook, his abs, and oc went on a beach vacation ♡ OH! and the latest drabble!! i wanna be loved that way sooooo bad 🥲 and so steamy😮‍💨 and the bathtub scene… oh artemis i love how you can always always make the most out of the very intimate places in the house of lovers… the kitchen, the bedroom, and the bathroom. EVEN THE WALK IN CLOSET FFS. it’s just how good you are with what you do and you use your heart to dictate the words to your fingers.

buuut how are you feeling now? how are you doing? you can vent if you want to, i’m all ears! i hope good things happen ♡ have a great day artemis!

-🌷

hello my tulip anonie! i missed you so much! aghhh you got to see yoongi so close?!?!? i’m so happy 🥹 you deserve it so much !!!! 🥹 and thank god the lovely lady let you borrow their powerbank lmaooo. so nice to hear you had a wonderful experience at your first concert :") hopefully it’s the same for the next one too! coldplay is amazing!

and omg you draw??? you’re so cool <3 jungkook’s nose is my favorite nose ever if i was an artist i’d totally spend all my time practicing how to draw it. hehe

stop now i’m craving for mangoes 🫢 and maybe a jungkook. the latest drabble!! the bathtub scene… rips me to shreds when i think about it until now tbh. every room, no matter how small, can hold an eternity of memories 🥺 i guess is what i’m trying to say.

thank you so much for your understanding and endless love my beloved <3 life has just not been very kind, like everything that can go wrong is going wrong? i’m ok with challenges, but maybe only one at a time? 🤣 but you’re right! hopefully june will be a better month. with festa and pride month, i think we deserve that much !! hopefully i get to finish the next drabble soon too, which actually been helping me release my heartache little by little <3 i hope you have an amazing week my love! ☁️

[sorryimananti-romantic]

HI BEAM OMG I'M EXCITED TO READ YOUR REVIEW DFGJHD:

yes omg this is me making use of the whole kpop (and actors) industry in here again you'll see lmao (it's so hard to keep track of your side characters if they're named randomly right? 😭)

omg luna is such a lovely name but to hear your mom be like 'short for lunatic' too KJDFHGDHFG okay mom 😭😭

yepp the crescent company is kind of catchy but then again i'm also a basic b who can't remember her own stuff so i be recycling the same few names in every fic if you haven't noticed already 💀 but yes this time it's more immersive def

AHAHA well i'll be doing a short recap before every chapter so hopefully yall don't have to take notes i hope 💀 but i'll also be releasing a character book + timeline soon so hopefully that's helpful when refreshing your memory dkfghdjfg but yes i hope this fic helps you with the political intrigue stuff anyway <3

YES BIG SCARY YUNHO vs soft sunshine yuyu (this comparison won't last too long bc again i can't resist writing yuyu)

AHAHA yes yunho is the consigliere but also yes they're kind of in charge of different parts of the business as you'll see later hoho AND YES had to get sth going in chap 1 (otherwise this series would have become 10 chaps longer 💀💀)

i have a feeling that you're gonna love the rv spies hoho

YEOSANG HAD TO PULL THE 'you're fired' AS IF LUNA WASN'T ALREADY RECOVERING FROM THE PREVIOUS NIGHT

ahaha thank you i was haha heheing when i wrote that line dfkghjf

yepp jihoon is absolutely right on that one bc you'll see how tightly knit the crescents are and how they go all the way back and then comes luna with barely two years of bookkeeping already in the main office (tho this was the crescents' trying to keep her close for info)

AHAHAHA yes she's sketching (bc she likes hwa or bc she's coping? who knows) and then the interaction with yunho hehehehehe

thank you so much for this lovely review, beam! yepp it's gonna be a very bumpy ride, but i hope it never gets boring! thank you so much for reading!

The Leaders | Chapter I

"this is the underworld that no one escapes from."

masterlist

ot8!ateez x f!reader, mafia au

chapter warnings: mentions of violence, gangs, drinking, shooting, near-death experience, illegal businesses, seonghwa and yunho are major assholes in this chap, san and yeosang have warmed up, mention of killing, etc

chapter wc: 9.8k

chapter synopsis: it is the year 1970 in eden when an attack on the crescent bar prompts you, the bookkeeper, to carry out yeosang’s order and flee with the contents of the safe. however, you are unlucky to have discovered an unknown, suspicious package that sentences you to an early death. left with no choice, you reveal secrets about the underworld to the crescents and their underboss that even they are not aware of. will this gamble prove to be fruitful?

It was very easy to get lost in the liveliness of the Crescent Bar. Despite being stationed away from the heart of it all, you often found yourself distracted by the chatter of a couple who would occasionally pop in for a drink, the hushed whispers of a group of men who would be looking over their shoulders every few minutes, the hearty laughter that would suddenly fill the hall and spread warmth in its wake, or simply, a lone traveller who would be swaying to the light music that you were actually sick of hearing but didn’t have the heart to complain about. 

It was now second nature to jot in an observation or record transactions on an hourly basis, just like it was natural for you to take over the cashier’s place so the poor girl could take a break and move around. You no longer felt your hair rise every time you overheard a piece of information that you knew Yeosang or San would like to hear, nor did you feel your pores opening to release sweat every time they glanced your way– just like San did now, just having entered the bar and sent his trademark flirty smile in your direction.

“Restock champagne on table two, right away!” 

“On the way!” You shouted instead of the new girl who was currently finding it hard to multitask. You didn’t have to worry about a thing– Yuju, the head of staff, noticed everything as if she had eyes in every corner of the bar. She would make sure to let the girl know that she was doing well with an encouraging pat to her back.

“They’re going to empty our inventory tonight,” Eunbi shared a grin with you. “We’re going to have to check the stock again.” 

“I’ll take that– ask Jeonghan to wake the hell up and make sure we don’t run out,” you requested, sliding over to the cash register and typing in the latest entry, marking it with today’s date of 3rd April, 1970. Eunbi urged the waiters to speed up before rushing to the empty table at the left corner of the bar where Jeonghan was resting. She delivered the message with a smack and Jeonghan, who was never really asleep but just had a knack for pretending that he found the loud and bustling atmosphere of the bar relaxing, groggily walked across the hall to the door that led downstairs to check stock- or to get an actual nap. You would find that out later.

“Luna,” San greeted you with your nickname and you nodded in greeting– the nickname stuck with you after Jeonghan once called you Luna. Everyone started calling you by that name afterwards but only a handful knew it was short for lunatic and you intended to keep it that way. 

You had no desire to use your real name anyway.

“Busy night?” San slid on the stool not far from you, Eunbi passing him a sweet smile before she started to pour Black Shadow for him- a staple of the Crescent Bar as the only supplier of the famous and well-loved Utopian wine in all of Eden. San swirled the red wine in his glass casually before downing it in one gulp and Eunbi refilled it before passing the bottle to you, going to attend to more pressing matters than one of the owners casually lounging to chat.

“Kind of,,” you turned to grab yourself a glass and San poured the wine for you. The clinking of your glasses echoed even in your loud surroundings and you took a sip, taking in his appearance- you assumed he must be returning from business since he was wearing a formal black suit, though he ditched his coat at the entrance. The white sleeves were rolled up, revealing his sturdy forearms with a thick silver watch on his left wrist and a silver band on his index finger- one you had never seen him without. 

Your eyes travelled up to his face- tendrils of slick hair falling on his forehead. Choi San was one of the most attractive men you had ever seen, and hardly anyone could deny that. 

The problem was that perhaps, he really did not realise how painfully attractive he was. The man was far too humble for his own good, despite being one of the most dangerous and powerful men in Eden.

“Heard something interesting of late?” He inquired routinely. It was always a bit more casual with him as compared to Yeosang. Yeosang was the boss around here, yes, but San was the one who kept things under control. The pair of them worked together very harmoniously and you admired that, even though you had qualms about whatever they were doing- whatever you thought they were doing. Almost two years here and you still had no idea just what it was that their gang did. 

Gang, you called them though they preferred ‘organisation’. The cops preferred ‘criminal organisation’ but you supposed it was just semantics at this point. Their name was Ateez- you never heard that term directly from any of their mouths, but even a child recognised that name and knew to avoid them- or avoid trouble with them. 

But officially, they were the Crescent Company, owner of the Crescent Bar and other businesses in Eden.

“Just politics,” you finished the rest of your drink, adjusting the lone pearl ring on your right hand. “Everyone’s a little antsy with what happened at the protest. They think it’s Assemblyman General Wi’s gang.”

“General Wi would never interfere like that, though,” San scoffed in amusement- perhaps he genuinely found the idea of a man like Major General Wi resorting to dirty means hilarious. “He’s far too smart for that.”

“He is,” you had to agree. “But who else to blame? Only someone from the military would dislike people protesting against martial law. There’s only one candidate for presidency who’s got influence in the army. They think General Wi’s success in the elections would mean the army would control the state.”

“Isn’t the army somewhat controlling the state already, though?” San pondered. “President Lee has ties with the army too.”

You may have gotten used to interacting with the most feared gang in Eden, but the mention of President Lee still made you shiver involuntarily. San had noticed it one too many times and though he hadn’t asked for an explanation, you were sure you would lack the words to describe this sentiment anyway. “President Lee… cannot be controlled by the army, or anyone for that matter. General Wi may be smart but he’s still easily influenced when met with someone of a higher status- that’s what I heard,” you added the last bit hoping it wouldn’t sound like a personal opinion. 

San raised a brow at your comment- you often tried (and failed) to mask your personal opinions under the guise of news but whenever you shared something, he made sure to listen- and listen beneath what your words tried to cover up. He often found your opinions and predictions regarding politics holding some weight and he wasn’t quite sure if you were subconsciously very observant or purposely pretending to be unaware. He once asked you how you knew so much but when you didn’t discuss any information with him for a few weeks, he took the hint. You only reported officially to Yeosang and he could bet you found it easier to talk to him about these things because he wasn’t one to probe.

“Keep me updated,” San said and you nodded. “Yeosang must be inside?”

“He’s actually in Room no. 1- he has visitors.”

“Visitors?” San frowned. “Who?”

“Lieutenant Jeong and co.,” you said and San shook his head at the way you so formally addressed the man. He had told you before that no one ever referred to him as the ‘lieutenant’ but you didn’t know how else to refer to him. “I was in the office earlier so they decided to take the room.”

“That’s okay, I’ll pop in there,” he grabbed a handful of nuts from the counter before walking to the backside of the bar, disappearing in the shadows as he reached the VIP area. You took a deep breath, your mind once again wandering to the ‘guest’. 

Lieutenant Jeong Yunho was not a guest here at all. He belonged here. If you thought Choi San was intimidating, you were wrong. You still recalled the first time you saw him right outside the bar, all roughed up, wiping the blood off his face with his sleeve but not a single scratch on him while a group of men around him writhed on the floor, clutching their mangled limbs. He met your eyes and your heart sank in the worst way possible- worse than the moment you were disowned by your own father. It was simply fear, and you hated feeling fear. You made up your mind to avoid him from then on but there was only so much you could do when you worked at the place he owned. 

Oftentimes he came into the bar in the late hours of the night after wrapping up things in the main office and sat right where San had been sitting earlier in front of you, drinking the strongest wine available in silence- perhaps to sort his thoughts out. He didn’t mind you sitting near him and doing your paperwork, and you didn’t make him feel uncomfortable unlike the others who could not stop stealing glances at him- it wasn’t that you didn’t want to, but you simply could not. You didn’t want him to find out what kind of an effect he had on you.

Especially when he had the warmest laughter and his entire demeanour shifted around his comrades. It intrigued you because he felt like two different persons in one vessel. That was the only time you would allow yourself to steal glances at him- when he was distracted enough. Otherwise you didn’t dare look at him in fear that he might find something about you that you had been struggling to hide all your life.

Eunbi came back after serving a group of guests, whispering, “This one table- they were awfully quiet when I went to serve them. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve got some gossip they don’t want anyone to hear or if they’re going to try something stupid.”

You looked at her- Eunbi’s instincts were usually spot-on. “Which table?”

“Over there,” she glanced at the corner and sure enough, the group of four was already looking in your direction. You pretended to be unaffected, asking her to take over the register. While casually strolling towards the door that led to the basement at the other end of the hall, you passed their table, noticing how they resumed talking only after you were out of earshot. 

Something was up. You went downstairs to see Jeonghan napping on the couch.

“Oi,” you poked his thigh and he stirred, opening an eye. You knew he wasn’t really asleep- he wasn’t one to let his guard down, but you supposed he could have his moments of peace. “Stock?”

“Enough for tonight but I’ll place an order for tomorrow before we leave,” he said. “What’s up?”

“There’s a group at table seven. Four young men, armed with guns, awfully quiet and jumpy. Care to take a look?”

“They could have just lost a bet. They might be collecting the remnants of their pride- you tend to do that in silence,” Jeonghan mused.

“Yeah, well, I’d rather you make sure,” you said. “Lieutenant Jeong is here. They’d be stupid to try anything- anything at all, even if it’s just throwing a tantrum.”

“Ah,” Jeonghan got up and smoothened his long dark hair. “I suppose I’ll ask them if they require a better drink to down their shame.”

“Whatever,” you sniggered before going back to your position upstairs. You watched Jeonghan don his jacket as he entered the floor and he looked around, meeting eyes with the group and you both noticed two things-

That their hands went to their hip where the weapons rested, and that they exchanged quick glances with each other. Jeonghan looked at you and you shook your head, urging him to skip the plan and alert the others- it might be an attempt at robbery or worse, but they were so stupid to do that, especially tonight. 

“You’ve restocked their drinks?” You asked Eunbi.

“They just ordered another, Soojin is going to refill their drinks-”

“The new girl?” You shook your head, “She’s been jumpy all night. Stop her, right now. They’re armed, they might do something stupid-”

Before you could finish the sentence or Eunbi could carry out your order, the loud shatter of glass made you both flinch and hold on to each other as you ducked, splinters raining down on you and making you both hiss in pain when some of them met your skin. You tucked Eunbi closer before you raised your head over the counter to assess the situation-

Chaos was the word. Eunbi had been right to be suspicious- the men were now pointing guns at whoever dared to move and another gunshot sounded followed by a guttural yell of the waiter whose arm took the blow. You met eyes with Soojin who stood frozen in the middle of the room and you motioned for her to stay that way.

“No one move!” One of the men shouted, wide eyes relaying the threat. “I’ll shoot you if you move!”

“I’m going to take the register and go to the office,” you whispered to Eunbi who shook her head furiously.

“It’s too dangerous- they’ll shoot you,” Eunbi held your arms in panic but you pried her hands away, squeezing them assuringly.

“I’ll be fine- they won’t spot me. I have to hurry,” you told her and before she could insist, you started crawling away from her, keeping close to the wall and moving towards the backside of the bar, avoiding the shards of glass as best as you could. You had orders to follow- orders Yeosang trusted you would follow at a time like this. You could not disappoint him now after everything he had done for you.

The office was the nearest room from where you sat crouched and if you made a dash for it, you could probably go unnoticed- if the instigators didn’t catch movement from the corner of their eyes. They were too busy forcing the customers to line up against the walls so you could take this chance-

Without thinking any further, you gathered the material of your skirt and thanked the lord that you wore boots instead of your usual heels today as you took a few large steps to disappear into the shadows, now successfully out of their vision. You silently unlocked the door and entered the empty office, taking a deep breath once inside, the adrenaline rush making your head spin. After stealing just a few seconds to calm down, you opened the drawers to make sure nothing of importance was there and then you bent down to access the locker under the desk-

The locker of which you had the key to all this time, but never once checked the contents of. You remembered when Yeosang promoted you from cashier to bookkeeper and told you that not all their transactions were legal- you just had to keep a record and stay shut about it. That, you could do. You kept the key on you at all times, and you took it out from the inside of your skirt’s waistband, unlocking the safe and gathering the two registers and a small packet wrapped way too much to figure out what it held inside. You held the things close to your chest as you made your way out, peeking first to see if the commotion had moved away from your eyeshot. 

You took a turn to the narrow space at your right that led to the back exit, but that was not your destination- the room at the end of that corridor had a passageway that led to another exit in the alley. You slowed down at the sound of footsteps and you wondered if they were coming from right behind you-

Before you knew it, you were being pulled inside the room with a twirl that ended up with your back slamming against the wall, a gasp producing from your lips and freezing midway when you realised just who had pinned you against the wall-

Lieutenant Jeong. And he did not look pleased. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Carrying out orders,” you breathed, realising just how tall and broad he was now that he was in front of you, bending to reach your height. You clutched the registers tighter reflexively, your left wrist still in his strong grip. “I’ve been instructed to flee with the contents of the safe in case of an attack.”

“By who?”

“Kang Yeosang,” you said, though you figured he already knew the answer. “I have the key.”

The man scanned you slowly as if that would give him all the answers to the questions he wasn’t asking. He knew you were the bookkeeper, but did he not know that Yeosang trusted you enough with this?

The sound of a few rushed footsteps caused him to let go of your wrists and you rubbed the skin there. It was Yuju accompanied by the manager, Mingyu, and they told Yunho that there were more men outside now.

“Did you figure out who’s behind the attack?” Yunho asked.

“Probably Chan’s gang,” Mingyu huffed, looking at you and relaxing when he saw that you were safe. “I’m going back to get the rest of the employees.”

“I’ll stay here and make sure they get out safely,” Yuju nodded, noticing the items you were clutching. “Luna- go. We’ll call you when things settle down.”

You looked at Yunho- though you didn’t need his permission, you knew that he could very well ruin things for you. He didn’t trust you- he had no reason to. He told you to wait and disappeared out of the room and Yuju widened her eyes in confusion.

“I mean… I can understand,” you shrugged. “Is everyone okay back there?”

“I don’t think they knew that Yunho and his lackeys were here,” Yuju folded her arms, hugging herself. “They’re going to regret it. Whoever it is… they’ll make him regret ever coming up with this plan.”

“Even if it was just San and Yeosang, they couldn’t have won,” you said and Yuju agreed. “They both go a little crazy too.”

“But Yunho-” she shivered. “He’s something else.”

Your lips twitched in amusement despite the gravity of the situation and moments later, Johnny- Yunho’s assistant- appeared, looking battered.

“I thought it was a gunfight- why does it look like you were in a catfight?” Yuju commented, slumping down on one of the chairs and Johnny shot her an annoyed look. 

“One, I didn’t have a gun on me. Two- they touched my hair!” Johnny huffed and you looked at the man in disbelief, all the impression you had of him going down the drain. Yuju was familiar with Johnny so she didn’t seem very surprised at his childish outburst. “Anyone who messes with my face will get worse in return.”

“Understandable,” you muttered. “Can I go now?”

“Oh, you’re staying here,” Johnny urged you to take a seat. “You’re not going anywhere- Yunho’s orders.”

“Wow, okay,” you sank down on the chair. “And you don’t have a gun? If someone comes here and tries to take these away from me?”

“They’ll have to get past me, you don’t need to worry,” he grinned. “You can relax.”

You could, but you were far too nervous to. You didn’t realise how badly you were rocking your legs until Eunbi entered and you groaned in relief to see she was unscathed. “They almost shot me. I can never get used to this.”

“You will get used to it, one day,” you told her, holding her hands and Eunbi squeezed it with an anxious smile, wondering if that was why you seemed mostly unaffected.

The rest of the employees came one by one in a matter of a few minutes, recovering from the initial shock though it quickly wore off since all of you had experienced something like this at least once- and working in a bar owned by a gang, it was bound to happen anyway. Everyone knew better than to call them a ‘gang’ to their face, though- they had spent years to make their business and organisation legal. 

Somewhat legal, you would argue as their bookkeeper who knew that wine wasn’t the only thing being consumed here. Your hand that was clutching the packet in its grip itched in answer and you looked at it in suspicion.

The few new employees like Soojin were definitely in shock and Yuju did her best to calm them down. Johnny was kind enough to crack jokes to lighten the mood and you were glad to see it was working. Some people really were here to make a living and you were sure you were going to lose a few employees after this incident.

The door opened and Yeosang entered, looking unharmed, almost unfazed. He talked with Yuju first in hushed voices- probably something about the damage they would have to deal with. When he spotted you, he smiled and called you over. You got up and followed him outside to the corridor.

“Glad to see someone followed their orders,” he commented.

“I would have gone to that building you’ve told me about but…”

“Yunho stopped you, I know.” He was going in the direction of Room no.1 where he had previously been in with Yunho but when you entered, you found not only San but Park Seonghwa as well, looking as posh as ever. 

The underboss of Crescent Company, he was the one person in all of the gang that you truly had respect for- it didn’t matter that Park Seonghwa was a criminal. You had once seen him help a lost child find his mother, and another time seen him carry a cat with a broken leg in his arms, and that had changed everything. Not only you but the whole town was aware that Park Seonghwa was a man that possessed a functioning heart unlike most of the gangsters here.

However, you were soon going to find how wrong you had been.

“Miss Jeon, please, make yourself comfortable,” Seonghwa’s calm voice sounded and you looked at Yeosang instinctively- what was happening? He only smiled though it didn’t quite meet his eyes, pouring you a drink which you downed- you needed it now more than ever.

“I’m glad to see you’re alright,” Seonghwa said. “You have the contents of the locker?” 

“Right here,” you placed them on the desk and Yunho shifted in discomfort.

“Thank you for keeping them safe,” the underboss took a deep breath. “I understand that you’ve been working here as the bookkeeper for a considerable amount of time now?”

“About a year, yes,” you straightened, suddenly aware of the tension in the room- even San appeared to be squirming, playing with the ends of his sleeves- you’d never seen him fidget like this. “What is this about, if I may ask?”

“And you… do you have some family? Someone you’ve been caring for?”

“Not in Eden, no,” you confirmed.

“Do you have any idea of what these items are?”

“That’s my registers,” you nudged the thick books. “I’ve recorded every transaction here, legal or not. And this…” you held the package in your hand. “I’m afraid I do not know, but if I have to assume… probably the drugs we slip to our VIPs here.”

Seonghwa met eyes with Yeosang who sighed. “I told you. She does not know, but she can be trusted.”

“We have a policy, Yeosang. I know we trust our employees, but the trust can only go so far.”

“If you could tell me what this is about,” you gritted your teeth, knowing fully well where this was going. “Maybe you should just talk to me, Mr. Park.”

“Well, here’s the thing,” he turned his attention to you, fixing his coat. “We cannot let you go since you’ve seen that,” he pointed at the package and you realised that it was not the drug that you were aware of.  

But if not that, then what was it? You shook it slightly and felt the rustling of something powdery. It had to be a drug.

“And?” You countered. “I was assigned by one of you to take this and flee in case of an attack. I’ve simply followed orders.”

Seonghwa’s brow rose subconsciously and he shared a look with Yunho who looked amused- amused? You knew that people didn’t usually talk back to those in power, but you had once been there. They didn’t know that you once had power- some semblance of it, at least. 

“I’ll be forward with you- we are not allowed to share that with anyone outside our circle, and anyone who does see that is subject to execution.”

You looked at Yeosang in disbelief- he knew that, yet he had still assigned you to carry out this job for him. He could have asked anyone, but he chose you, even when he knew Kihyun had recommended you. Kihyun, the leader of the longest standing gang here and Ateez’s partner. He knew how desperate you were for some stability in your life, yet he chose you.

“I chose you because I trusted you,” Yeosang offered, not meeting your eyes lest he saw how betrayed you felt. It didn’t matter anymore, though. 

“You can’t kill me,” you told Yeosang. “You know who recommended me.”

“I’m sure they will understand,” Seonghwa answered in his stead.

“No, actually,” you tossed the packet on the table and folded your arms, liquid courage making its way up unfiltered as you met Yunho’s eyes- the one thing that you hid from him- from all of them. “I’m sure I’ll be much more useful alive.”

Yunho scoffed loudly, not quite believing the shift in your demeanour and the calculation in your voice, but Seonghwa leaned forward as if to question the sheer audacity that you displayed, and if you knew any better, you would have backed down and accepted your predetermined faith, but-

You still had unfinished business. You still had to take down the men of Eden who possessed power yet wielded it against their homeland. You still had to get back at your father for disowning you. You were far from your goal and you simply couldn’t stop here. 

“Miss Jeon… how on earth could you be more useful alive to us?”

You mirrored Seonghwa’s posture, leaning forward as well and though the wide table separated the two of you, you could very well have been inches away considering how fixated your gazes were. “I know things about the people in power that even your angels do not know of, Mr. Park. I know how their minds work, I know their dirty little secrets. I know what to avoid when dealing with them. I could help you shake Eden’s current establishment- you should not kill me.”

A silence spread in the room as they processed your words and assessed your statement- was this a leap of faith or an act of stupidity? Whatever it was, it seemed to be enough. Seonghwa looked at Yunho again who seemed just as surprised as the rest.

“We could strike a deal,” you offered, relaxing back. While you knew that they could kill you right away and move on with their night, you decided that if you were really going to get killed, you could try something.

It wasn’t a bluff, no. You meant each word you said, but it was a gamble on your life. 

“Luna,” Yeosang’s low voice prompted you to turn to him and adhere to his warning but you were still cross with him.

“What deal would that be?” Yunho finally spoke- you supposed that as consigliere to his boss, he handled these matters. “What information do you possess that is worth more than your life?”

“If I give it away right now, you won’t have any reason to keep me alive, would you?” You countered and San huffed in appreciation, making Yunho shoot daggers at him.

“What? She’s smart,” he pouted and you smiled inwardly, glad that he was still the same old San.

“You will have to give us something, darling,” Seonghwa straightened his gun on the table and though the action was casual, it felt like a mockery of how your life was literally in his- in their hands. 

You leaned back to think- you had to play your cards right here, and very carefully. One wrong move and you’d be gone. What was it that you could reveal right now that would make them consider that you were a force to be reckoned with, and would also make them join hands with you? Could you make this mafia gang bend to your will, or were you asking for too much?

You looked around the room, meeting eyes with each one of them, calculating every possible move from here. Most of the information you had was something you couldn’t simply claim to know without blowing your real identity. If they started looking into your background properly this time, they would find out that your surname was borrowed and there was no record of you being here in Eden before 1966- that was four years ago. You came back from Wonderland in ‘66, having spent a few years there looking after your sick aunt and recovering from the shame and anger of being disowned by your father. You couldn’t tell them who your father was- it was far too early for that. 

And since you couldn’t have them finding who your father was, you couldn’t let them know anything related to the pharmaceutical business your father owned, or his connections with the politicians- could you give them some information about a politician? President Lee, perhaps? But you weren’t sure how dangerous he was, maybe someone else-

Your eyes fell on an antique porcelain vase in the corner that looked awfully familiar. Your frown deepened as you tried to recall where you had seen it, and when it clicked, you realised you had your answer.

“You got that vase from Assemblyman Major General Wi, is that right?”

The four of them turned to look at the object you were pointing at. Yeosang confirmed that you were right. You couldn’t help but have your lips curl in a smirk. “You might want to return it. You don’t want to have an object that was used for money-laundering… unless you’re involved.”

Yeosang blinked in confusion, looking at the older two who seemed to be concealing any hints of emotions. San, however, looked just as confused as Yeosang. “How do you know that?”

“That’s not the point,” you told him. “The point is that General Wi’s artefact gallery is just a cover for his money-laundering business. Not a good look for a presidential candidate, is it?”

Seonghwa nodded, perhaps connecting some dots in his head and coming to the conclusion that you may be right. “I’m impressed, Miss Jeon. I will verify this information but I have a feeling that you’re speaking the truth.”

You nodded and Yeosang finally laughed in disbelief. “Who are you really, Luna?”

“Your bookkeeper who’s asking that you take consideration of my loyalty and make a deal,” you said and when Yeosang nodded, you continued. “I… I, too, have unfinished business. You know I was desperate to have stability when I first got a job here- it wasn’t always like this. I will give you all the information that you need as long as you protect me as your source. As long as you keep me safe, because you and I,” you turned to Seonghwa. “We have the same goals.”

“And what might that be?”

“Power and protection,” you said, sure that you were right about the first part but when Seonghwa’s brows twitched, you realised that the shot in the dark with ‘protection’ wasn’t fruitless. “We’ve all got something or someone to protect. I’m protecting myself. You’re protecting your people.”

“You’re very talkative… Luna,” Yunho commented and your heart fluttered at the way he called your name- only the nickname, yet you were wavering. You mentally scolded yourself. “This could be the only information you possess. Not enough.”

“Oh, please,” you countered. “You know I have more- I can’t be running on sheer confidence here. But don’t think for one second that you can torture that information out of me,” you said and when Yunho smiled guiltily, you somehow found yourself smiling back despite the fact that your life was on the line. “Protect me and I’ll make sure your boss overthrows the current establishment and becomes the most powerful man in Eden.”

“Protect you from who?” Yunho asked and you gulped involuntarily, recalling the darkness and emptiness in the eyes of the person the whole nation admired. 

“I can’t say yet, just… keep me in the shadows, for now. Please.”

Yunho looked at Seonghwa- you couldn’t be making this up. Yeosang asked you to go home and that they would give you an answer soon. When you left the room, Yeosang sat down next to San.

“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?”

“She’s not lying, yes,” San confirmed and Yeosang nodded. “She’s only ever worked, right? We’ve been seeing her for a year now. Work and home is all she does, isn’t that so?”

“Yes. I kept an eye on her for a few months before I assigned her with bookkeeping duties- she has no family here. Just a few acquaintances- Kihyun of MX Pharmaceuticals, which I thought was odd, but they were a gang before they became a pharmaceutical company, so maybe she encountered them at some point. They literally know everyone.” 

“And her roommate just so happens to be Wendy.”

“I dismissed it as a coincidence. She couldn’t be one of the RV spies, could she?”

“Nope. They’re far too meticulous.”

“You assigned bookkeeping to a person who was acquainted with both Kihyun and Wendy?” Yunho raised his brows in disbelief. “That’s too big a coincidence, guys.”

“Wendy is under a disguise, Luna probably doesn’t know what she actually does,” Yeosang said. “Besides… I trust her. I really believe it wasn’t necessary to just kill her like that. It’s not like she knows what’s inside this,” Yeosang poked the packet with his finger.

“I don’t think Chan’s gang got a whiff of our drug dealing,” Seonghwa sighed, running a hand through his lengthy locks. “They must have attacked just to get us riled up. They wish to tarnish our reputation because General Wi is choosing sides.”

“We really need to check if the thing about the artefacts gallery is true,” Yunho said. “If it is, we have to tread carefully. Hongjoong will be pissed to learn what happened tonight.”

“I’ll take care of him,” Seonghwa got up. “This girl… Luna?”

“That’s what everyone calls her here,” Yeosang said and Seonghwa nodded slowly.

“She’s something. I’ll verify her information- it’s probably true. Tell her we’ve got a new job for her.”

When you bluffed your way out of your death- though you hadn’t really lied, you did hold information that could ruin Eden- you didn’t expect that you’d find yourself with a new job in the main office of the Crescent Company. You paused in the middle of recording the last entries of the day and your job, only to catch Yeosang watching you with interest. 

You folded your arms, staring back and pulling your lower lip between your teeth in contemplation. 

“Are you sure this isn’t just a trap to kill me? You could just shoot me and get on with your day, why go through all these lengths?”

Yeosang’s rich laughter boomed in the office room and you sent a tired glare in his direction before going back to checking the receipts of the new stock. 

“We would have killed you last night if we really wanted to.”

The nonchalance with which he said that sent a bitter taste down your throat, reminding you of familiar words you had heard a few years ago, but you knew that this situation was different- you had to believe that they were different. Otherwise, there was no hope left for Eden. 

“I’m still mad that you signed me up for death with this job, by the way. That was a low blow.”

“You are our first bookkeeper,” Yeosang said in response. “We just didn’t know what to do… does that sound like a good excuse?”

“Hardly,” you muttered. “I thought we were… acquaintances, if not friends. I respected you, Yeosang.”

Yeosang put a hand on his chest. “Respected? Do you hate me now?”

“I can’t really hate you when you’re… you,” you shut the register, looking at him. 

You had spent long hours with Yeosang in this very office. Somehow, with him, it had always been naturally comfortable and he once admitted that he thought it was odd how you both could be in the same room, busy with your own work yet feeling right at home. Though you barely ever had a heart-to-heart with the man, the impression that he was a scary gangster had vanished long ago. He was scary when he had to be, but he just felt more human than his partners.

“What does that mean?”

“I’m just a little hurt that you delivered me on a platter to your underboss for him to do whatever he wanted with me. Try to understand,” you explained. “And I still respect you, don’t worry.”

“He wouldn’t have killed you. I would have stopped him,” Yeosang insisted.

“You were more nervous than me,” you scoffed. 

“I was nervous for you, that you were going to make a mistake and he would really have to kill you,” Yeosang admitted and you blinked in surprise. “But you did just fine on your own. Are you not going to tell me who you really are?”

“I can’t tell you that yet,” you told him. “I trust you just enough to gamble with my life, but I’ll reveal things only when I’m sure the information would be in safe hands. You have to trust me a little too. It’s not like I can betray you- where would I even go? You’re all going to kill me if I make a mistake anyway.”

Yeosang nodded- you had a point. “Have you got nothing to lose?”

“I’ve already lost everything that I had,” you shook your head. “I’ve only got my life now.”

“I have a feeling you’ll do well in the main office,” Yeosang clapped his hands once in conclusion. “Since you’re already aware that we’re doing both legal and illegal dealings, you can do bookkeeping there. I have to warn you though- if information ever leaks, they will kill you without hesitation.”

“Geez, thanks,” you winced. “Tell me something new.”

“I don’t know where you got the guts to talk back to me,” Yeosang laughed, shaking his head once. “But keep this up and you won’t last long.”

“Why?” You leaned forward on the table in challenge. “Are you and San the only ones who can converse like normal humans?”

“We’re always just a little tipsy,” Yeosang said cheekily and you realised he was right. “You shouldn’t see me when I’m sober.”

You pursed your lips, realising that he was right- if he was anything like the rest of his gang, he had to be drunk all this time if he could tolerate you, a mere employee, talking like you were on his level. 

“Snob,” you muttered and got up to put these registers with the rest of the piles, ignoring Yeosang’s snickers. “Alright, my work here is done.”

“You’re fired,” Yeosang announced with a grin. “I’ve wanted to say that to you for so long.”

“You’re hopeless! I’ve been promoted, not fired,” you corrected.

“Whatever,” Yeosang got up, checking the time on his wristwatch. “San will be here in a few minutes- he’ll accompany you to the main office. You can say your farewells but you’ll be here often. It’s not a goodbye.”

“Okay,” you stood awkwardly for a moment, looking around- the beige walls with paint peeling in the corner, the dark shelves and furniture, the gramophone in one corner that you never played because you could always hear music from outside.  

“I’ll miss this,” you took a deep breath, nodding as you memorised and soaked in the feeling of this room.

“You’ll be back,” he assured, giving you a moment. “Now off you go.”

Sticking your tongue out at him, very out-of-character for you and taking him by surprise, you exited the office. You could hear what his response would have been- ‘just because we decided to keep you alive doesn’t mean that you can act out!’ but it was exactly that. If you had their protection, you would act out- just not to them. 

To the people who wore the cloaks of saints over their demonic hearts and ruled over Eden.

“Luna!,” Eunbi spread her arms as soon as she spotted you and you gladly let her hug you. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“I’m hearing I’ll be here often, so you won’t have to worry too much,” you poked her ribs, making her squirm as she laughed. “Just stay safe. And no matter what, do not become their bookkeeper.”

Eunbi frowned at that but before she could ask you more, the bell over the front door chimed and you knew it was San the way the bar suddenly fell quiet. You let go of Eunbi and patted her cheek before meeting eyes with San who waved at you.

Waved. You were a little pleased to see that the new arrangement was as awkward for him as it was for you. Eunbi echoed that out loud with a ‘did he just…?’ and you told her to get back to the counter.

“Hi,” San stifled a smile. “Good to see you’re still in one piece.”

“No thanks to you,” you countered. “Shall we?”

“I’m just going to let Yeosang know that I’m here,” San said, finally chuckling. “Look, if it helps, Seonghwa wasn’t really going to kill you.”

“I keep hearing that, but it just feels like you’re trying to convince yourselves instead of me,” you shook your head. “It doesn’t matter. I'll say my farewell to Yuju.”

You agreed to meet outside in five minutes and you went to find Yuju, who told you to stay safe. Jeonghan looked more worried than Yuju- he had overheard some of their conversation last night about them getting rid of you but you assured him it was alright now.  You just found out something you shouldn’t have so they were just being cautious. Though he didn’t look convinced, he let you go with an affectionate pat to your shoulder and a joke about how no one is going to let him nap in peace anymore.

Before you went outside, you took a look in the mirror and adjusted your black slacks and the rounded collar of your cream blouse before wearing your black coat over it. San was already waiting for you in his car- a black ‘67 Bentley- and you got in the backseat, your heart beating in anticipation.

“It’s not a long drive from here,” San said, “But I thought as an apology, I’d give you a ride.”

“I’ve been in better cars, but I appreciate the sentiment,” you said and San deadpan stared at you. You squirmed, realising an explanation would entail revealing details from your background. “I mean… the condition could definitely improve.”

“Yeah, it’s been through a lot, you’re right, “ San let out a chuckle before glancing at you. “You’re not going to tell me where exactly you’ve been in better cars? Because as far as I know, you were struggling to make a living when you first got a job here.”

“That was because I moved back from Wonderland after a long time,” you fiddled with your pearl ring. “Anyone would struggle.”

“And how do you really know Kihyun?”

Kihyun- he was almost like a brother to you. As a child, you had often seen him go in and out of your house because of some business dealings with your father. Though your father kept you hidden for the most part, having homeschooled you and pretending that you were his niece instead of daughter, Kihyun knew. He was far too smart to be deceived by a simple lie, and your brother had made it painfully obvious that he hated you for a reason. And when everything went wrong, Kihyun was there as a shield. 

He had offered you a place in his company too, but you could not possibly involve Kihyun into your plans for the demise of your enemies. You respected him far too much to drag him into your mess.

“He’s just a connection- we have a few mutual acquaintances.”

“And who might they be?” San asked but you shook your head.

“I can’t reveal their identities… yet,” you said and when he narrowed his eyes, you stifled a smile. “Is there something I should know before we reach the office?”

“Well,” San exhaled, thinking. “It’s going to be quite different from the bar- more professional and tense. I’m sure the secretaries you’ll work with will warm up to you eventually but they might come off as unwelcoming or prickly at first.”

“We’ll see,” you said. “And… will I be interacting with… one of you often?”

“Why?” San questioned, a playful smile gracing his lips. “Is there someone you’d like to interact with?”

“That’s not what I mean-” you started but the car came to a halt and with a dirty look thrown in San’s direction, you got out of the car and craned your neck to look at the double-story building that was the main office for Crescent Company.

It wasn’t anything much, and you knew that that was intentional. Just like all the other office buildings in this somewhat posh area of the town, it had a chestnut brick wall with a new moon that made up for the ‘c’ in crescent. The guard situated at the front door bowed to San as you entered. The employees inside acknowledged San’s presence, halting what they were doing and only resuming once San nodded. There were a handful of them- a receptionist and a few workers coming in and out of the unlabelled rooms. You supposed everyone was assigned a task and had respective offices.

“This is us,” San announced, motioning at the somewhat lifeless interior. “Nothing much, and we would like to keep it that way. You’ll be working upstairs with Jihoon and Eunha- they are our boss’ secretary.”

“Mr. Park’s?” You questioned as you followed him at the end of the hall towards the stairs.

“And Hongjoong’s,” San said and you paused in the middle of ascending the stairs.

“I’m going to work for Kim Hongjoong?”

“Relax,” San snickered. “He’s always holed up in his office if he’s not in the field, and Jihoon does the assistant work. You won’t encounter him too much.”

“That’s not the point,” you muttered. You reached the upper story to see three rooms across the spacious hall which was set up as an office itself. There were two people working in that space, sitting in front of the windows where there were three desks in a row. It didn’t look out of place since their workspaces were spread across the entirety of the hall. The empty desk looked a bit odd, though, and you reckoned it had been set for you which meant they must have moved things around a bit.

“I’ll leave you to get acquainted with them,” San said. “There won’t be much to do for a few days until they think you can handle the work.”

When Jihoon’s burning gaze met yours indicating his annoyance- already?- you gulped. Perhaps, you should have stuck to the bar or denied their offer. Jihoon was quick to change his expressions as he rose from his seat.

“Mr. Choi,” Jihoon greeted and Eunha looked a bit surprised as if she hadn’t heard you two come. She followed with her own greeting, tucking her short pink hair behind her ear in what looked like a nervous habit.

“This is… Jeon y/n- the new secretary. I hope you’ll train her well. She’s already familiar with bookkeeping so I don’t think she’ll have to learn much.”

“No worries, we’ll handle it,” Jihoon said. “Nice to meet you, Miss Jeon.”

“Nice to meet you too. You can just call me Luna- everyone does.”

“That’s a pretty name,” Eunha shook hands with you. “This is your desk, and I’ll give you a walkthrough before Jihoon takes you around the office, is that okay?”

“Sure,” you nodded, feeling hopeful. You turned to San. “I think I got it from here.”

“Very well,” San nodded. “Take care of her- she’s got potential.”

Jihoon only smiled in response and as soon as San was out of sight, he slumped down on his desk and went back to typing. You turned to Eunha who only smiled awkwardly, muttering ‘he’s a bit cranky at times’ and you shrugged. You could deal with cranky.

Eunha told you about your duties- bookkeeping since you had experience, typing a report each night that Mr. Park or Mr. Jeong would be signing, and any other miscellaneous tasks that Eunha and Jihoon couldn’t cover in their shift hours. Once she was done briefing, she handed you over to Jihoon who made a display of grunting in annoyance before he guided you downstairs to the last room which was essentially a storage.

“You must know that not all the business under the Crescent Company is legal,” he said and you nodded. “Where would you keep the record of illegal transactions?”

“Definitely not here?” 

“Here,” he corrected, “but concealed while still being right in front of your eyes. In the case of a raid by the detectives because a certain inspector has been on our case for a while, they will take everything in here, right? The illegal transactions are kept in a safe behind that painting,” he pointed towards the mediocre painting of cherry trees in the darkest corner of the room. 

“And the key?”

“A code, this time,” he said. “I’m still hesitant about sharing it with you but Mr. Choi said you could be trusted.”

“I’ve handled such matters before, yes,” you told him, understanding why he was sceptical about you. “There’s a reason I’m here.”

“That is definitely not the reason why you’re here,” Jihoon scoffed loudly. “Just because you passed a little trust test does not mean you get a position as the boss’s secretary. Eunha and I have worked under them since the beginning- that’s a plausible reason. They trust us.”

Though you wanted to argue with the man, you decided that you would be better off being civil towards him if you had to tolerate him to keep your job. 

“Who else knows the key?”

“Apart from the boss, underboss and consigliere… only Eunha and I. So if information leaks, if the location of the safe leaks-”

“I’ll be the obvious suspect, of course,” you nodded and Jihoon considered you for a moment before acknowledging your answer. 

“Our schedules are going to change now, so there is always at least one person out of the three of us in the office at all times, though the three of us must always be present in the 12 to 2pm slot. In case of an emergency, you are expected- obliged to get down here and escape with the contents of this safe, is that clear?”

“Clear as day,” you confirmed.

“1024 is the code,” Jihoon said and you nodded, memorising it. “Now, let me show you where we keep the official records.”

You took note of every little thing Jihoon had to tell you. Eunha observed how you worked for the rest of the evening and made you acquainted with the methods that you were to use. You were familiar with the work- you had already been in charge of tracking expenses, monitoring budget and keeping a record of all the financial transactions in the Crescent Bar. Eunha was going to take care of tax payments and returns while Jihoon was going to supervise. 

It was a manageable workload so you were pleased with your current position- you just hoped the two would warm up to you soon. You did not expect them to get along with you, you just prayed they would remain civil and not stir any trouble.

Your schedule was going to change from the next day and your shift was from 6pm to midnight- or more, if the need be- and you would also have to be present in the 12 to 2 pm slot. Since you were going to be the one who would lock up the office, you received a set of keys which included one for the storage, one for the main door, and one for Jeong Yunho’s office- in case he or Park Seonghwa weren’t present- to lock away those documents. You were to place them in the cupboard in Mr. Jeong’s room.

While you were in the office today, you didn’t encounter any of your bosses. You figured their absence wasn’t unusual since no one was talking about them. Eunha helped you prepare the report that you were to hand over tonight in her stead if anyone did visit the office because she had a work appointment and needed to be there. She told you to make sure that all the locks are in place before you leave for home.

While you waited for the clock to strike midnight- which was about twenty minutes from now- you busied yourself with scratching your pencil at a piece of paper that was going to be discarded anyway. One thing that calmed you like nothing else was the feeling of the pencil’s lead rubbing against the grains of the paper and leaving a mark for you to play with. With a very specific picture in your mind, you continued to draw straight lines, sharp curves and edges, adding the elements of threat and danger where needed, but preserving the softness of it all-

“What are you doing here?”

You looked up to find not the person you were hoping to see but the person you wanted to avoid the most.

Jeong Yunho.

Lieutenant Jeong Yunho, all dressed up in a black suit with engraved silver buttons, the black tie loose on his neck, his hands hidden in the pockets of his pants. Your eyes travelled up to his parted lips, to the muscles of his jaw flexing and unflexing, to his dark gaze trained not on you but lower- what was he looking at-

You subconsciously put a hand over your incomplete sketch and got up in greeting. “Lieutenant Jeong. I have the report- Eunha had a work engagement.” 

“I see,” he nodded slowly as if still coming to terms that you were to work here now. You could return the sentiment- it was a strange feeling to see him here. You had acknowledged each other’s presence in silence and at rare times, shared a drink (you didn’t often drink at the bar). But standing across each other in this formal setting… 

“Well?”

You broke out of your trance, feeling heat creep up your neck. Perhaps, you were waiting for him to call you to his office. Had you expected him to do that because Yeosang had done the same once? He had been so nonchalant about everything but right now, you felt overwhelmed. You fumbled with the folders until you dug out the report, cursing yourself internally because why didn’t you place it right on the top? 

You extended your hand and he drew closer to grab the document from you, reminding you once again of how tall he was. You gulped- there was no way to explain what you were feeling except a crushing sense of intimidation that made you feel so very small. It had been about a year, yet whenever you were in his presence, your mind took you back to memory lane- 

Specifically the lane near the bar where he ended his enemies and found you watching. Neither of you ever addressed why you had been there or why he had done all of that mercilessly.

“Looks fine,” he said, turning the few pages and skimming through them. “You can leave now- it’s almost closing time. I’ll lock the doors behind me”

“Alright…” were you two the only ones inside the building? “Goodnight, Lieutenant.”

“You don’t have to call me lieutenant, you know,” he said and you met his eyes again, finding the ends of his lips slightly curled in a… smile? Or was that a smirk? 

“How would you have me address you then?”

Somehow, it oddly reminded you of a similar conversation you had with Yeosang, except you had been calling him ‘sir’ and he couldn’t stop snorting everytime you called him that. He let it be for the entire day until he told you to just call him Yeosang- calling him sir in an informal environment only earned him odd looks. You argued that apart from the selected few employees, literally everyone called him ‘sir’ or a variation of it, but he insisted that you already sounded like something was stuck up your [redacted] and he didn’t want to add on to that.

That was the only time he saw your composure break. The rest was history.

The consigliere shrugged, giving you yet another glimpse of the person he was. He didn’t like to be called lieutenant, even though this was a formal environment.

“Mr. Jeong then, since everyone calls you that,” you concluded. 

“And do you still go by Luna?”

“I… do.”

He nodded once, his gaze falling at the paper you were hiding from him. You kept your hand placed over it and he turned, disappearing into his office. You didn’t miss the frustrated grunt that escaped his mouth as he shut the door.

Your shoulders relaxed and you picked the paper- he had definitely seen and recognised the gun that you had just seen last night on the table, and he probably recognised the hand that held it as well- the long, slender fingers that radiated delicacy despite being roughed up. 

The hand of the underboss of Crescent Company. Someone you had wished to meet before the night ended.

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[mi4012mariaperera]

Assessment 10 - Model building

20/03/2024

Today we got started on making the model for the ‘Heterotopia movie scene set’ of our choice. For this assessment Dinendri requested us to make the model in size A4.

For the ‘Danny on the Carpet’ scene, my plan was to first paint the labyrinth carpet on sketch paper and then paste it onto thick cardboard. The next step would be the make the Whitewalls using retiform. The next step would be to add details like the lights and room doors. Then Finally! We can get to assembling everything and the pictures.

We have to submit this on Sunday so I hope I won’t mess up in bits of my hardwork😭

Step 1 - Designing the Labyrinth Carpet (a.k.a. The hard part)

For starters, I knew that things were going to be tough for me given the fact that I have to paint the labyrinth carpet in ‘the shining’. But I was determined to give it a try because it’s one of my favorite scenes in the movie.

I’m a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I spent majority of my class time just to finish this puzzlingly designed carpet. Kudos to the people who actually made it in the film. Once thing I can admit and give advice to anyone who tries to draw this carpet is that, the sketching process will take forever💀💔

This is my process work for the carpet from start to finish!

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

22 April 2023 Saturday 1:03 am pt

Incubus is threatening me not to put up 🆙 my intaglio print picture here. It’s on my Instagram. He is burning 🔥 my vag. Benny blanco put up 🆙 that song 🎵 on his post George Michael. Michael sounds like my kill. 1:06 am pdt no one seems to care though. I haven’t seen any progress towards resolution. Only threats to tear me apart. I wish I never dated Scott. He wasn’t worth getting to know for me Bcz I don’t like 👍 him now. Hot 🥵 above right ear 👂. If they’re threatening me what is it they’re afraid 😱 of? That people will believe me? Bcz my print was made between fall 2007 and spring 2008? And Amar Malik article said July 2010? 1:10 am pdt it would (left hip bone 🦴 pain) point it in my favor slightly but no one likes me so no one will do anything to help me... so? 1:11 am pdt

1:13 am pdt stereo hearts 🥰

1:14 am pdt never going to dance 💃🏻 again Bcz my hip bones 🦴 etc are being taken away. 1:15 am pdt

1:17 am pdt do you think stereo hearts 🥰 sounds like it was written by a girl 👧 or a guy? I would like to see a poll on this. If you didn’t know who. Wrote it. Curious to know what others think 💭 only for experimental purposes. 1:19 am pdt

1:20 am pdt I want (back pain sharp) my bones 🦴 back and my youthfulness! My health. I don’t care about the money 💰! 1:21 am pdt 😞😖😭 1:22 am pdt I want this nightmare to be over!

1:23 am pdt I want to be able to work hard again without consequences such as losing my bones 🦴 and brain 🧠! 1:24 am pdt 😫😤😰

1:25 am pdt incubus attacked my skull 💀 and probably brain 🧠 today from trying to walk 🥺😖😭 1:26 am pdt

1:29 am pdt years and years of postponement and unfulfilled promises so a lot of stuff I won’t believe until I see results. A lot of stuff is like in reruns. 1:31 am pdt my hotel 🏨 is not giving us extra recycling and compost bins... 🤷🏻‍♀️ Nothings changed. Composting should be mandatory everywhere. 1:32 am pdt

1:33 am pdt acid throat pain no tengo dinero. It’s too bad Travis McCoy didn’t become a millionaire. Wait did Bruno Mars? Did either of those guys do stuff in the billionaire song 🎵? Who can I ask for money 💰? 1:35 am pdt Benny Blancos post literally day after my birthday 🎂 so it looks intentionally dedicated to me about not being able to dance 💃🏻 again. 1:36 am pdt and Amar Malik has some weird posts with a pink liquid spill. Rose 🌹 Rosa pink . Shana = beautiful, rose 🌹, Lilly 1:38 am pdt right arm acid throat too

1:41 am pdt incubus pointed something out to me days ago. It sometimes hard to think 💭 when I can’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ and fighting for my life. So it’s okay 👌 if I’m a whore and it’s my fault 🤦‍♀️ Bcz I shouldn’t have dated me for I don’t remember how long how many days but I don’t think 💭 it was more than 2 months. Some people say by the third month you will know if something will become long term? I don’t really remember spending July 4 th with Scott in 2007. Trying to remember but it’s hard. I used to keep everything. But I was bad at putting dates on drawings ✍️ in my sketch ✍️ books 📖. I guess it was my fault 🤦‍♀️. I don’t have a lot of experience with dating. I guess I never learned until Q said it’s supposed to work immediately. But that was after s*x with Scott. I was trying to see if people would grow on me. I was better off hearing the advice b4 not after. My parents are divorced and they have a huge age gap. My parents were pen 🖊 pals. But I guess my dad rushed my mom Bcz he was already very old. He wanted/needed to have babies 👶 ASAP I guess. They tried to make it work. They weren’t the right fit unfortunately. 1:51 am pdt teeth 🦷 pain 1:52 am some times you just bite the cookie 🍪 5 year engagement. My dad had a fiancé who was stolen by another man 👨, so he had bad luck. 1:53 am pdt my dad wasn’t rich 🤑 I think the other man was? 1:54 am pdt

2:21 am pdt while I was at UCB my eczema on my hands 🙌 got worse so I stopped printmaking. 2:22 am pdt I didn’t do printmaking my second year and beyond. 2:23 am pdt

2:37 am pdt incubus is extremely biased and extremely WRONG 😑. He or she is vilifying me about dating Scott. I was attracted to him too much. And I wanted it to work out 🏋️‍♀️ I wanted to like 👍 someone I was attracted to. But I guess it was too dangerous a situation and I didn’t realize it. Bcz it was hard for me to say no even though I wanted to and meant to say no, he physically didn’t allow me to say no. He physically stopped 🛑 me from responding and went for it. 2:41 am pdt that was probably only the second or third time we hung out even though I don’t remember anymore I think 💭 I used to think 💭 I remembered it being very early on. Too early. Bcz I wanted to say NO Bcz my heart ❤️ wasn’t there yet. But he said he could feel I wanted to. Duh 🙄 that’s hormones. But he is probably trying to lie (acid head pain 2:44 am pdt) and twist it into saying he was in love with out saying it then, but twisted it for later when he wanted to make me look 👀 bad. Bcz he didn’t want people to know what happened exactly. I already told him I don’t think 💭 we should be doing this, but he challenged me. It’s not ok 👌 to challenge a woman 👩🏼. If she says no respect ✊ it. 2:47 am pdt

2:48 am pdt at least I verbally said b4 the s*x a very long no. Acid lips 👄 pain b4 I typed. Acid brain 🧠 pain.

2:50 am pdt I seem to be punished for this. I move to ban lap dances from strip clubs . If I’m being punished acid brain 🧠 pain for that then I will be saving every strippers life by warning ⚠️ them this is what they are like. They will eat your brains 🧠 with acid if you don’t claim responsibility for any rape that occurs after lap dancing 💃🏻. If Scott is punishing me then you are warned. He likes teenagers. Teens at my high school 🏫 rubbed their butts on guys crotch in dances. They didn’t get raped? 2:54 am pdt

2:58 am pdt I guess it’s true. I’m going to die Bcz of Scott cano. Bcz they blame me for stuff they tricked me into doing. 2:59 am pdt men are messed up and 😧. 3 am pdt they are not safe (stomach pain) to be alone with or to conduct business 👨‍💼 with. Unfortunate. 3:01 am pdt

3:04 am pdt I will repeat 🔁 myself Bcz now there are too many posts 😑. Women only desire p*nis. Adequately sized. P*nis. Nothing else would satisfy a woman 👩🏼! But we don’t know what men will try to put their p*nis. Into a pie 🥧 or a sheep 🐑? 3:07 am pdt

3:09 am pdt if people like Amar Malik more than me then I guess there’s nothing I can do. They want to award 🥇 him and not me I cannot do anything. 3:11 am pdt

3:11 am pdt in this weird world 🌎 now that is coming out it doesn’t seem to matter who had the idea 💡 first under what circumstances. Whether I forgot about specific things or I wasn’t made 100% aware of the truth and they messed around with my head a lot for a long time b4 telling me. 3:14 am pdt a lot of sharp back pain. I forgot a lot. No crossover. 3:15 am pdt all I thought 💭 was those guys were regular people like me and they were doing weird bad stuff to me. 3:15 am pdt

3:23 am pdt I guess I have to give up 🆙 Bcz god wants them to have what originally thought 💭 was mine. I thought 💭 about stuff for a while b4 I sang in the shower 🚿 in my apartment. Everything (acid hot pain left hip pain bone 🦴 difficulty breathing cruncher groin bone 🦴 3:26 am pdt I need to face the music 🎶 is that this a cruel joke on me😖😭😫 and that there is nothing else to this. There is no new earth 🌍 that we will all go to together. If there was, I would think 💭 that (pain cramp fart 💨 3::30 am pdt) anyone who has a growing family should go first. Hopefully 🙏 that it’s a quick trip! 3:31 am pdt please stop 🛑 hurting me please stop 🛑 taking my bones 🦴😫😖😭🥵🥵🥵🥵 3:32 am pdt