#i have just seen some wild contortions attempting to convince folks this was A Good Ending

[mittensmorgul]

it has been bothering me all morning but like

we saw bobby in heaven, and he looked like bobby always has, yet when sam got to heaven he was reset to what he looked like before dean died

REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE IMPLICATIONS AHEAD:

to be clear, I have no opposition to the concept of Heaven, and to the soul earning some sort of peaceful and comforting rest in an afterlife, but I’m really gonna have to politely ask people to stop coming directly to my inbox attempting to convince me that this was a “happy ending” for Dean. He deserved to LIVE, because no matter how perfect heaven was tailored to him personally, to feel satisfying and fulfilling to him, that... almost makes it even worse to me.

I’m not expecting people who are happy with it, or who did manage to find something good in it to actually read this, or to really consider the way I (and from what I’ve seen, most everyone I know) see this. But attempting to convince people who are horrified by it all, or arguing with people who are attempting to reconcile what we see as utterly baffling or entirely unsatisfying about this ending (or worse, actually traumatizing) is unnecessary and unwanted. Please stop trying to make people who are processing the end of a show we’d hoped would have the guts to finally free the characters through something other than death, and trying to reconcile the fact that the story of hope, of found family, of free will over destiny they’d fought the entire series for was not a lie, as the finale made it feel to us.

If people are finding inconsistencies in the story (because hooBOY was it inconsistent), if they’re arguing against details in the story, it’s not because they want folks who are happy with the story to come around to being unhappy with it. It’s because THIS IS HOW WE PROCESS TRAUMA. We explain, we justify to ourselves, so that we can actually continue feeling good about this story in our own lives. For some of us, this means actually coming to a point where we can feel the story had no power to continue to actively harm us. If you don’t feel bad about this finale, then consider yourself lucky, and maybe sit down rather than continually attempting to invalidate why we feel traumatized in the first place.

Okay, that’s out of the way, on to the ridiculousness of my brain:

1. if the idea that everyone in heaven gets reset to a more youthful state, then why not bobby? so that’s out as a theory. I mean, it’s kind of a surface-level nice theory that you wouldn’t have to spend heaven eternity bedridden and sick and dying, but as a basepoint for Heaven this is... it’s got a lot of ableist undercurrents to it and I don’t think there was actually a satisfying way to handle/depict this on screen to start with... the whole “all your problems will be fixed in heaven” is right below the surface here, and I’m not even gonna start explaining how disgusting that is as a message to be sending...

(that said... was sam’s blurry wife un-blurred in heaven? or was she even ever real at all and would Sam even look for her in Heaven now? asking the real questions here... >.>)

2. is this actually a heaven where people take on the appearances that dean specifically recalls them with? or does this effect possibly work for everyone that way, and what we see is only Dean’s pov? Like... would Dean himself possibly see something different than say, John would if he looked at Sam? Would John see the last version of Sam he remembered from s1, and Sam see himself completely different in a mirror or something? This falls into my previous understanding of Heaven-- the memorex version-- where everyone sees what they want to in a dimension that really doesn’t translate to a human’s perception of space-time. And I mean, if that’s actually the case, then I need people to recognize that this isn’t really any different than Old Heaven, except for the cubicle farm aspect and being able to make new memories with people. But that it’s still effectively an isolating experience if each soul’s reality is just... slightly off, even in these seemingly minor ways. It’s dimensionally enforced peace through manipulation of perception. And thanks, I hate it. It’s not true free will, but the pacifying enforcement of a perception of it as being free will.

3. Was this actually just a production choice so they wouldn’t have to drag the party city wig out to the woods for the final day of filming? Which, lol that has some potential for hilarity as a crack post, but also... as a production choice just has the greater effect of breaking the fourth wall (which that final drone shot effectively did anyway), which in turn renders the entire episode one long series of production choices rather than narrative consistency choices, and is all the more reason we have to just... not care about any of it if we’re actively choosing to do that.

All of these sorts of inconvenient facts and readings are there, in canon, for us to consider. The most unfortunate implication of all for me is that the episode as a whole then becomes suspect as “reality” for the characters, and therein lies my actual problem with the finale. The details are rendered irrelevant, the characters themselves are rendered irrelevant, and the story ultimately had no meaning whatsoever. And for those of us who cannot reconcile these things, we’d rather just be able to toss the finale out and keep the 326 episodes that did actually have meaning for us.