#i have just had so many gotdamn stupid conversations recently

[transxfiles]

we need to abolish the sex binary now and i mean it

[underthisbigsky]

On the Women’s March

Dear life forms,

Still terrible at blogging. (Still trying not to be.) Still reeling from two years in Montana. Still smelling the flowers. Still untangling my earbuds. Still on the road. I’m coming to you live from LA today.

I’m writing this because I'm late. If you are White, you are probably late, too. Many of us are here now or as of recently, but we haven't always been. That is a major problem. We must own that. We must fix that. 

There is a lot of sorting and unsorting I am doing with my mixed race identity. (Being hapa is weird. I am still figuring it out.) That being said I am acknowledging myself as a White woman in this post because...

I am a White woman. My mother is a White woman. My grandmothers are White women. 

Although I was not raised in a predominantly White space or culture, I am usually perceived and treated by others as a White woman, and I benefit from many privileges that result from that.

When I share space with White women I am not considered a “minority”, I can move and speak without fearing for my safety, and my existence is accepted without question. 

Just needed to make that clear. Because 53% of White women voted for Trump. And you know, for a long time I did not see my face reflected in that percentage. “I’m not one of those White women,” I told myself. “I’m not, like, all the way White. Also fuck that I supported Hillary BYE.” 

But in distancing myself from the problem, by averting my gaze, by insisting, “NOT ALL WHITE WOMEN!”, I am using the same tactics that have been used over and over by White people to avoid addressing our individual and collective culpability in the oppression that people of color endure under White supremacy.

I’m writing this because I’m late. Real late. And I am still not all the way here. 

I’m writing this because I am dealing with the reality that it took me and other White women way too long to show up. Many of us only joined people of color in the march for justice when we felt personally threatened by injustice. 

Here’s what some of them have to say about that.

Ijeoma Oluo:

“Where have you been? Where have y'all been? Why is this your first protest? I cannot put into words how heartbreaking it is to see grown adults that I know and love decide only now to take to the streets. I'm glad you're there. I'm glad you're doing something. But weren't we enough? Weren't we worth it before? Why weren't we reason enough? Where have you been? And where will you be once this doesn't impact you directly anymore?”

Ashley Fairbanks (this is part of a longer post):

“I stood on the steps of the Minnesota Capitol this morning and I watched 100,000 women march in. They were backed up so far that it really was no longer a march.

And it made me feel emotional. But not in a good way. My first reaction was really just rage. Because really...

Where. The. Fuck. Have. Y'all. Been?

Where?

As we've been out here marching and resisting and people have been getting deported or murdered and land has been desecrated, where were you? It takes white women feeling personally scared to turn out these crowds. A few thousand of us have worked our asses off for years and we are tired and here you finally come.

I cried.”

Maya Angelique:

“It was crazy seeing how different marches/protests are when the crowd is predominately white people. When black people march for our rights, against police brutality, etc. we're met with hostile police dressed like they're ready for war. We're told that we're overreacting, blamed for systematic oppression, told that marching does nothing and is a waste of time, called thugs. We declare things like Black Lives Matter and that our lives hold value, they try to silence and overshadow us, creating All Lives Matter. Protestors are beaten, arrested, harassed by police and met with counter protests (who usually insight violence). The list goes on. But when protests are held by predominantly white people (especially women)? Completely different world. Idk if a lot of y'all realize this, but black women have been marching for all of us since the very beginning.”

Luvvie Ajayi:

“I was moved by the Women’s Marches around the country (and world). And I was glad to hear that they were all “peaceful” and there were no arrests.

You know why there were no arrests? Because PR-wise, it was a march that would be attended by mostly white women. And in a world that doesn’t protect women much, when it chooses to, it is white women it protects. If the marches were mostly Black and brown women, police would be emboldened to break them up, throw tear gas into the crowds, and be physical. How do we know? The BLM protests and marches, where the only things people had were their bodies and those were considered weapons. Ferguson. Baltimore. Chicago. Militarized police always showed up. LOOK AT STANDING ROCK.

White women and white bodies can hold space on streets and shut down cities “peacefully” because they are allowed to. Black and brown people who march are assaulted by cops, and in Trump’s law and order administration, this will only get worse.

Remember that you as a white person are walking in a body of privilege. You didn’t show up before but you can show up now. NOW. When the next Sandra Bland, Aiyana Stanley-Jones, Rekia Boyd, Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner etc etc etc happens, you better come out. We will need you to show up again and again, in these numbers.”

Lakeshia Robinson (read her whole story):

“I cried for the rest of the train ride. Becky Arryn in the Pink Hat asked if I was claustrophobic. The white lady who wasn't a walking white feminism meme told her "No. But thank you." That's white lady for "Are you forreal?!" Then as I sobbed, mourning all that whiteness and white feminism has wrought on the world, that they are, in fact, the reason we had to have this stupid, pointless march, all the other random Becky's in Pink Hats who had until then remained silent decided to speak up. They wanted to let it be known what side they were on, pro-making space for me or against. (Really. Y'all Beckys are the most. the.most. My 2017 list of resolutions has to be amended to include an effort to be just as self assured and half as self centered as these pink hat white ladies.)”

Danielle Slaughter (part of a longer post):

“Guess what? Your ancestors threw tea in the GOTDAMN ocean when they were fighting for freedom. Tea was government property, which means they destroyed property to get what the fuck they wanted. They did this while ENSLAVING my ancestors!

Get your hypocritical asses off this peaceful protest bullshit. It's easy to say let's be peaceful as you sit in your privileged bubble and benefit from systematic racism and oppression.

When have y'all ever been fucking peaceful?

When you stole us from other countries? When you raped and beat women and men? When you stole children from their mothers arms and sold them like property? When you lynched and hung us? When you allow state sanctioned killings? When we PEACEFULLY marched and you turned dogs on and beat us?

Y'all have never been fucking peaceful, which is why you continue to use Black Civil Rights activists to perpetuate your bullshit ass call for peace. Why aren't you using one of your ancestors as the symbol for peace?

Because y'all asses ain't never been fucking peaceful.”

Chescaleigh Ramsey (longer post):

“Point is, GOOD INTENTIONS DON'T ABSOLVE NEGATIVE IMPACT. and if the goal is to support marginalized folks we have to acknowledge our own privilege and LISTEN when we're called to improve our activism. a march is an AWESOME show of support and solidarity but it isn't enough. There is more work to do.

PERFORMATIVE ACTIVISM ISN'T GOING TO CUT IT. Showing up and marching isn't enough. You need to be ready to do the work, which includes being called out when you fuck up and making a commitment to be better, donating to local organizations that help your community, getting involved in local politics/elections, calling your senator, having hard conversations with members of your community and preparing for the midterm elections in 2018. just because an event is run by women doesn't make it above criticism by other women. If your allyship is reliant on never being held accountable for your screw ups YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.”

There’s more, so much more! I’m not going to get this all right. I can’t. But I can’t not try. Here’s a piece I’m reading and rereading: How to Survive in Intersectional Feminist Spaces. You might want to read it too.

Anyway, friends, this is where I am this week. Struggling. Unlearning. Relearning. I treasure your love and help as I also humbly offer my own heart to you, if you would like it. It is wicked and it is good. It understands that you may feel angry and frightened. It repents and sins again, over and over. It learns and listens, over and over. 

It must.

Thank you for reading this, whoever you are. My goodness! More is coming later -- I need to actually like, do my job now. Sending love.

In peace, M