#i have it downloaded and it’s in my mentally unwell folder

[thequeen-crimson]

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(clip from a dmc panel around 2011)

dan giving us a demonstration of vergil's flirting skills (sound on)

[schizosupport]

Hey there! So I am super duper interested in psychology and want to get my Bachelor's and eventually go to grad school for it - do you have any tips on doing grad school as someone who deals with a chronic psychotic disorder? I'm mostly asymptomatic these days in terms of positive symptoms, but negatives still kick my ass here and there and ofc there's symptom flareups and such. How do you manage the workload of grad school, especially when the going gets tough? Thanks so much, I love your blog!

Hihi!! Oh, how exciting! There's a severe lack of crazy psychologists out there, and I'm always happy to see potential new members to the gang.

Ok so.. hmm, in my personal experience the different "stages" of my university education weren't all that different in terms of workload. I'm actually going to talk about the bachelor I think, because to me the difficult hurdle was more in going from a high school climate of more guided learning/teaching, to a university setting of loosely guided study.

Further, at least for me, I find it more helpful to think of things one day at a time kinda. As in.. when you get to grad school you will deal with it then, it's in at least three years, and much will change in that time, so initially you should focus on the step ahead of you.

I also don't believe in useless knowledge, so any amount of study is always useful in some way, no matter where it ends up.

Personally I struggled at the beginning of the bachelor because at my university, psychology is heavily based on self study.

So we might only have 5 hours of lectures a week, but I would have to study/read a lot of heavy articles, books etc, on my own. Like it was a full time study on paper, and what this meant varied from person to person, some needed at least 60h a week to read and understand, I needed less, but it was still a lot for me.

The biggest difficulty for me was that this meant I had to coordinate my own time, I answered to no one, and everything was my own responsibility. If I didn't manage and failed an exam, no one was going to care, if i dropped out I would be one of many.

Time management was a great difficulty for me. All the things that were not technically the study itself were killing me. Like even just.. let's say the professor says we should read these five articles for this or that. Then I would have to go to online databases, and find the articles through the search engine, figure out where i have a login to get the full pdf, download them into the right folders etc, before I could even sit down to read them.

I'm not gonna lie... I was mentally deteriorating under the pressure, to the point where it led to my first psychosis related contact with the psychiatric system around 2015. (Not my first psychosis, but the first time a doctor got involved)

Now.. I don't think psychology is necessarily universally taught in this manner. My education was very much a research oriented education, and more like a facilitation/guidance of self-study and research in many aspects. It worked for me on the level that I couldn't have shown up to uni consistently every day, and this way I could have bad periods, and still have a chance to catch up on the reading later, and so on.

Still, at around my 4th (3rd?) semester of the bachelor, my house of cards was falling and it was falling fast. I was way in over my head, I was unwell, and chronically underperforming.

This was the point I applied for accommodations. Accommodations differ from uni to uni, country to country. But the most helpful thing I got offered was a mentor.

This was a student who was ahead in the education, someone with a knack for organization and cheerleading. My mentor was instrumental to getting me through my bachelor, by removing and automating as much of the "surrounding bullshit" as humanly possible, helping me make realistic plans and follow through, etc.

Despite us never discussing anything related to the field itself, the addition of a mentor took me from a mediocre hit n miss at best student, to someone who consistently came out on top, even with my mental health still being pretty much in the gutter at that time.

So while I don't know what your uni of choice offers in terms of accommodations, I definitely recommend you look into it. And if you haven't decided on a university yet, doing some research into their style of teaching, and thinking of what might fit you, is also a good idea.

As for the masters.... I mean, it was meant to take me 2 years and I used more like 4, 5 if you count the year long break I took.... That wasn't the plan, it's not an ideal scenario, I don't think if someone would have told me it would be so psychologically hard before I started, that I would have even begun. But it's also so individual. And also so random. Covid had a very real and detrimental impact to my thesis writing, but I also didn't want to finish, and I was unwell, and much more.

Even right before the finish line I was close to dropping out several times.

Was it all worth it?

I don't know yet. I'm still unwell. I don't have a job, though I am in the process of having to try an internship type thing soon. I desperately want to do a phd, but given my recent education history I can't justify applying.

On the other hand. It did expand my mind in specific ways, and I wouldn't want to be without it. Not in a way where I'm better than others in any way that matters, but being forced to read so much research critically, and to be introduced to so many aspects of a field, and to the methods associated and such, has expanded my universe and my way of interacting with information, 'fact', knowledge, myth and man.

I think plenty of my colleagues didn't turn out all that much wiser for it, but I think if you come at it with a genuine curiosity and humbleness, you will enjoy yourself and what the study adds to your life.

Anyone who comes at psychology looking for a library of definitively proven facts and simple statements that are always true, will not only have a shit time of it during the education, they will not make very good psychologists or scientists for that matter.

But if you are attracted to the thought of taking a swim in the infinitely complex soup of nebulous and illdefined facts and their relations and contradictions, then by all means. Have a swim with me. The water is deep, and you'll never reach the bottom, but that doesn't mean you won't learn something about the lake.

[apollotronica]

goodness. ok one big ask for all of them

hearts

🤍 - you scare me /pos

💛 - you are like a wet cat

💚 - one million dollars. for you

i'd say red but that's known

artist

4. fav character/subject thats a bitch to draw

9. what are your file name conventions

24. do your references include stock images

27. do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? if so, what is it you draw to warm up with

30. what piece of yours do you think is underrated

specific and unrelated

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

7. what animal do you look forward to most when you visit an aquarium

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip

26. hows your spice tolerance?

get-to-know-me

bamboo - do you change into a different outfit when you get home

sage - what 'medium' of art (poetry, music, fiction, painting, statues, etc) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is

ivy - what are your 'tells' for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you're happy annoyed upset or tired

chamomile - what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts

aloe vera - what's something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

taro - if someone called you right now to catch up, what're the things youd tell them about

- 💌

OKAY JESUS HOLD ON these responses are for the heartsI SHOUDLNT SCARE YOU IM SO SWEETS and like you said . a wet cat .norhing to be afraid of . 10 jerbillion dollars for me

these r the attist asks i think

4 - honesltyUMMM i can never get dazais hair right . but hes pretty sinple everywhrr else . i also feel like i draw akutagawas hair inconsistently . all my problems are centered around hair

9 - my file names are whatever ibis paint x decides the file name is . unless i download it on my computer in which case its usually somr dumb shit

24 - SOOOOOMETIMES ???? i go on pinterest and just save and use whatever i need Hold on let me look at my reference folder rq. yeah ol i only have one stock image and its a dude holding a corndog

27 - NOPE my warmup is the sketch and maybe ill draw a couple face expressions on the side if im not in the zone yet . but no indont warm up usually

30 - THAT ONE OF IVLYA (OC) where hes like . almost facing the side .i cant find the image rn just go into my art tag😢

these repwonses r for the . unrelated/specific ones, 4 + 7 answered

16 - i like the mint . not the chocolatw chip . i think i would enjoy a minr chocolate swirl better because i hate chunks

26 - Um . average . i can handle like actual food spice like curry or other . things . but junk food like takis RUUUUUUIN MEEEEEE

these r for da get 2 know me ones ^_^ ivy ans chamomile answered

bamboo - Yeah i hate wearing outside clothes in the comfort of my home . i change into . usually what i slept in

sage - MUSIC AND POETRY i dont seem like a poetry guy i think but holy fucking shit some poems . some of them man. Ugh. and music theres so mucu potential Like . harmonies and shit dude im unwell . Music foreva

aloe vera - i kinda wna tto go on a real date Because like . idk that stuff is so foreign to me im not familiar with aaaany of it . i also want to get into baking

taro - FUCJ IT DEPENDS FROM WHEN HONESTLY i d let them know about my Mental Ailments i think id show off some art and link some of my socials maybe . and id talk about music . and things i got into while they were gone . Maybe attempt to discuss ... shivers . Feelings . i dont know

[cubedmango]

YOU’RE WELCOME BELOVED OMG I’M JUST SO HAPPY YOU GOT TO SEE THEM YOU DESERVED IT BUT ALSO FUCKNSKSG):&:? honestly the problem with having them downloaded is everytime I open my gallery and go to the favourites folder the thumbnails are there and it’s like a SICK TAUNT OF OH REMEMBER THIS HAPPENS? WELL YOU STILL GOTTA WAIT TO WATCH IT but oh my god. zaina. Oh my God I can’t explain there are truly no. words to explain how that messed me up I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS I REALLY DON’T KNOW BUT THE HANDSSSSSS LIKE MALFUNCTIONING IS THE ONLY WAY TO DESCRIBE IT BECAUSE ):£:!&::? only cherry magic like only them there was no need there was NONE why did they have to move their hands together like that why did they have to embed love and tenderness into every gesture THE FUCKIN CAMERA ANGLES ON THE [REDACTED] AND WHEN ADACHI JUST HELD UP KUROSAWA’S HAND I’M ACTUALLY BAWLING😭 I felt every single one of the exclamation marks you used like it truly feels like there’s seagulls in my brain i’m worried my neighbours think i’m insane like I just don’t understand how they managed to turn something so small as the union of hands into something so MOVING so EARNEST and so tender it’s such a trademark for cherry magic also same tbh… like yeah sure some people wanted a real kiss but I honestly don’t mind it at all like are we kidding the way kurosawa’s eyes fluttering closed… adachi being so nervous but initiating it first………. The INTERLACING………… THEY NEVER ONCE THOUGHT ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH WHILE MAKING THIS DAMN MOVIE and please I’m not even gonna begin to talk about that last part . I have never seen such a strong look of love before in all my years of life they make me feel as though even if I ever found love it would never compare i’m Tired . ALSO PLS I LOVE HOW YOU JUST GET IT LIKE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS WE’RE THE SAME🫂🫂 WE’RE NEVER GONNA BE FREEEEE I don’t know what it is but kurodachi are just Different I haven’t even watched the movie yet but i’m already willing to go on my knees for a season two PLEEK (also sorry for the long message omg i’m so Unwell…,,.,)

day 583068 of naina and cherry magic anon's "Losing It Over This Movie They Havent Seen" experience and this time . we are losing it over A Couple Of Hands !!! BIG AGREE W EVERYTHING U SAID THO there rlly is smth different abt the kurodachi brand of hand holding tho like i just dont know how to explain it..... its just Tender™ and maybe i have watched the drama too many times but its just Their Thing™ like handholding was invented uniquely for my sons its true !! no one else is allowed to hold hands and go suki kawaii suki suki daisuki only them Only Them!!!!!!

also day 9462856 of me going "god i wish that were me" every time i see a movie spoiler but ur right smth like what they have is physically impossible irl like it just Cannot be real 😔😔 idk what crack they put into the cherry magic medias but somehow every single one of them has made me yearn so hard its actually incredible. i need to copy this formula for oc purposes

ID CRY IF S2 HAPPENS tho i doubt it tbh bc they basically condensed all of vol 6-10 into the movie and idk how many more volumes the manga is gonna have ?? but they could literally make a s2 of just kurodachis morning routine or them at work doing their job from 8-6 never even interacting besides the occasional glances and id eat that shit up i just want them baacckkk