#i have done it with lots of tumblr friends and we've always had a great time

[qqueenofhades]

The other day I had to spend forty minutes on hold with the RNC, to tell the long suffering patsy who finally picked up that I needed them to cancel the SUSTAINING MEMBERSHIP in my name that someone opened, I can only imagine as a bizarre joke. (They sent me an CARD). I don’t know exactly why I feel like you would sigh in sympathy with this and go have a coffee with me, but I like to think you would.

Listen. You're clearly a far more patient and understanding person than me, because if someone got me a membership to Orange Fascists Dick Sucking Club of America even as a joke, and I then had to spend 40 minutes on hold to tell them to jump off a bridge, I would then probably kill that someone. So. There is that.

Anyway, I am very glad that you extricated yourself from the horrible predicament of anyone thinking that you were, or indeed ever had been, a Republican. We can indeed sit in a virtual coffee shop and kvetch about it.

[amethystfairy1]

🎉 Happy New Years! 🎉

It's been a loooong year so I figured I may as well make a post about it, as well as talk a bit about my plans for 2025! As you know, I tend to ramble, so this got a little long, and maybe sounds a little too much like an Oscars acceptance speech...whoopsie 😅...but from the bottom of my heart I genuinely just felt like I needed to get all these emotions that were emotion-ing today thinking about the New Year out for those of you who have played a part in giving them to me.

If you have a few minutes, please do give it a read through!

The Mushy Stuff:

Firstly, and most importantly beyond a doubt, I want to thank everyone who's been so incredibly kind and supportive of my writing this past year! Every kudos, comment, like, follow, ask, all of them have been treasured by me!

I've had a very difficult year. As I've mentioned before, I'm a full-time masters student. I also work a nearly full-time job on top of that. And while I don't like my blog to have anything to do with my train wreck of an irl life this year, let's just say it hasn't been great...lots of stuff went down, lots of things went wrong, so on and so forth.

Point is, my tippy taps have been crucial to my mental health. I started TTSBC, literally posted the first story 'Pretty Boy' on my very first day as a grad student, sitting there in the office with the knowledge that between school, work, and things happening in my own life, and I'd be having a really rough couple of years to get this degree done.

I finish in May, and I feel confident with my work, I'm ahead of the curve, I'm doing well, and I think that's in no small part because of my tippy taps. These AUs, the writing challenges, the amazing friends I've made and the little community that's somehow decided for whatever reason to form around my obsession with the block people, they've been a very big part of what's kept me going through all of this.

Knowing I could count on people to read my work, to enjoy it, that I could give someone out there something to relate too or even just make them smile if they were feeling as shitty as I was, that made me feel better. It's been so, so important to me.

So thank you. Thank you for following Through the Sky-Blue Cracks and Traveling Thieves. Thank you for screaming over my Whumptober and Febuwhump collections. Thank you for following me, for chasing me and my thoughtful Batman gif around in the asks, for playing along with my goofy-ass side blog, for commenting and kudos-ing and somehow materializing the instant a chapter goes up even before I post the tumblr notif. It means a lot more than I think any words I could come up with would convey.

I also really really really want to thank my Tinted Glass crew!

@silver-sunray This is all your fault. You started this 😤 And by that I mean you made these AUs and me screaming into the void alone so much more than that. It's because of you that I started to fight the fear, scuttle out of my shell and start actually trying to talk to others in this little online sphere. Your incredible work on the Beyond project and now in helping with my side blog and all our other plans and projects mean the world to me! You always have so much spunk and confidence whenever any ideas pop up that I suddenly feel like it's so much more is achievable thanks too you. I'm so very happy you reached out to me this year and I know so much that I've done with my writing wouldn't have happened without you 💖

@boo-the-ahh you're just the sweetest! You always make everything feel so light even when things are complicated or heavy, and you don't even know it! I love getting to work with you on the podfics and our other projects we've been plotting! You're always so full of energy and enthusiasm and encouragement that makes me feel like I can come up with the most whack-ass idea and you'll just back me up, and that's absolutely amazing! I'm so happy you reached out to me and started podficcing for me! Your work is incredible! You put in so much effort, your final products are always so beautifully polished and you always go the extra mile even when it makes things trickier. I admire that so much! And I apologize in advance for the sheer amount of my writing you're probably doomed to have to read out loud in the coming year 😅

@khoirkid You're just a marvel, in my opinion, which I know you don't share but shhhhhhhh. You come up with masterpieces at the drop of a hat, and the fact that you are willing to draw my whack-ass lil guys is still just unfathomable to me. You're always so easy to talk too and down to earth, and you're so creative and imaginative with how you weave symbols into your art with different imagery and color! I feel like half the time the stuff you come up with is so articulate and amazing that it goes over my head, but that's fine! 😆 You're so knowledgable and you have a perspective on things that helps me think things through. I love getting to work with you and I'm so very grateful for all the gorgeous illustrations, and for all the time you've given to me that's made me feel a little less alone.

All three of y'all are just so cool and supportive and talented that most of the time I don't get why you're hanging out over here and giving so much of your time and energy to these projects of mine, but I'm forever grateful that I have you as my friends. So thank you. 💜

Plans for 2025:

Ok, now that I've gotten my emotions all emotion-ed out, let's talk a little bit about my plans for the New Year!

Of course I'll still be continuing TTSBC and TT! No doubt about it! There's big things happening in both the AUs, and I'm so very excited to share them with everyone!

I'll be finishing my degree in May...to be perfectly honest, I'm still unsure of how much of a workload I'm gonna end up having academically this last semester, so I think I'll just say that if updates slow down a bit, just assume Amethyst is drowning under piles of revisions doused in red ink and a bunch of reference texts and papers due to be graded. I promise I'm not gonna just stop tippy tapping! I don't think my brain would be able to handle it if I did 😅

As far as some of the typical challenges go, I will not be participating in Febuwhump this year. I wish I could, but I know I'll definitely have too much going on academically to commit to another writing challenge...also I think Whumptober almost killed both Khoir and I, and we don't need to be doing that again anytime soon 😵‍💫 I'm still gonna check out the prompt list, and if I see a few prompts that I find particularly intriguing maybe I'll write those up, and do a few of the days, but I won't be doing the full writing challenge.

Jury is still out on Hermit-a-Day May, which I'm hopeful will be running again this year! I'd love to do it, but I'll have to make that later, once I know for certain how my workload is feeling since I'll be doing my final revisions, my defense, all that good stuff in late April, which is when I'd typically be working up my fics for Hermit-a-Day May.

I will be doing Whumptober. No questions about it!

I have a few other Hermit/Traffic/Empires fanfic projects on the back burner that I'm working on here or there whenever I need to take a lil break from TTSBC and TT. One of them is a project that all of the Tinted Glass Crew is working on together, and while I don't wanna give spoilers, I'll just say that it's going to be a ton of fun! It's unlike any other AU or one-off I've ever done before, and even just brainstorming it has been incredible so please look forward to it!

I also have my original series. Which...I haven't talked about, not really. I'm pretty nervous about putting it out there, to be honest, but it's my baby and I've been working on it for over four years now. It's written in a similar style to TTSBC and TT, that is, focused on queer romance and found family in a ton of stories all organized in chronological order and written up and down on a timeline. One of my big hopes for this year is to finally share this series. I dunno where yet, or when...it'll definitely wait until after I finish my degree in May, that much is for certain, but I suppose I just wanted to prime everyone. The Tinted Glass Crew has already been so amazingly kind as to agree to help me find a way to get this story that's so dear to me out to all of y'all someway somehow...and I'm confident if I have those guys on my team we'll figure it out! 😅

I hope, if you've enjoyed TTSBC and TT and any of my other work, you'll at least give my original blorbos a shot whenever they are freed from their little cage in my notebooks and save files. They're not so different from the way I write my MCYT characters, they're a bunch of big gay idiots with personality issues, a ton of tangled up secrets, and more trauma than you can shake a stick at...and they're mine, which means I really like to put them through the wringer. 😆 But after everything I've done over this past year and even further back here on this blog, on A03, and in this little community, I feel like maybe they might find themselves a home in at least some of your hearts...or maybe just piss you off with their poor life decisions and accidentally give you brainrot, who knows.

Anyway, this has been a lot. Sorry I tend to ramble...all of this is just to say thank you. I had a lot of fun this year, getting to share my stories with all of you, and I hope you'll continue to support me as I tippy tap my way into the New Year!

-Amethyst

[askthehedgehogs]

[Happy One Month!!!]

[Hi everyone, mod here!! It's been exactly one month since I started this blog and oh my GOD, how did we get here??? I honestly thought it would last maybe 2 weeks tops. You guys have all been SO wonderful, sent in SO many interesting asks and I'm having such a great time drawing/writing responses! Hope you're all having a good time too 😊 Thanks for sticking with me this long!

Under the cut I'm gonna give y'all some blog stats, a "story so far" blurb, a handy tags list and a vague timeline! I will later add anything that's useful to my pinned post.]

Well, to kick off, let's see some stats! Mostly based on Tumblr's little badges. We've been here for 1 month and:

The Hedgehogs have answered over 250 asks

With over 500 reblogs

And over 10,000 likes!

We've also just passed 280 followers. Woo!

10 animations (sorryihaventdoneanylatelytheytaketoolong)

Sonic has received 13 chilli dogs

Shadow has used Sonic as a pillow 9 times

There have been 33 hugs/cuddles/kisses drawn

So let's take a look at what's happened!

THE STORY SO FAR

Sonic and Shadow set this blog up to appease Tails, who wanted Sonic to become an influencer to bring in some cash where his sponsorship deals have declined over time, and Rouge, who wanted Shadow to practice Normal Social Interactions. They were both reluctant at first, although Sonic faced it with his usual enthusiasm. Over time, they've grown to love answering all your questions and started to open up more--going from sarcastic and unserious answers to genuinely considering your questions. Well done! Their relationship began with a heart-to-heart after Sonic's birthday party, immediately following the Time Eater's attack on the Sonic gang. They talked about their feelings, and took some time to open up to each other before deciding to give dating a try. They were together for almost 5 years before getting married in June 2024. Sonic moved in with Shadow a few months before they got married. Wedding 1.0 was a quiet affair with just a few close friends on Angel Island. Amy insisted on planning a real big shindig for the boys, so Wedding 2.0 will be held on July 12th 2025! They had no honeymoon, either, so they might want one of those this time around 👀 The Hedgehogs had been married almost a year before starting this blog, and dating almost 5 years before that, although their relationship was kept secret for most of that time. A few slip ups from Sonic lead to announcing their relationship to the public (and, uh, Eggman...), but so far nothing terrible has come from letting everyone know. Although Shadow likes the idea of having kids, Sonic is unsure about it, so for now they're sticking with raising Chao and helping out with kids that need the support!

Phew, I don't know if any of that makes sense and my laptop keyboard is lowkey broken so typing it out was an uphill battle... but you can always ask the hedgehogs if you want any clarification!!

Onto the VERY ROUGH timeline--this is not going to be 100% SEGA canon or real-world compatible, but this is the timeline as it goes in my head because I can't work with a character who was stuck at 15-ish for most of his life haha.

TIMELINE

Aaaaand now for the tags list--these are frequently used tags for themes that crop up a lot, be sure to check them out if you want to know specific details or see a certain kind of response!

FREQUENT TAGS LIST:

mod yaps - for when it's just mod yapping the hedgehogs answer / hedgehog doodles - every post the boys have answered basically hedgehogs animated - anything with animations! tag: hedgehugs and kisses - art with the hedgies being physically affectionate tag: hedgehog history - mostly regarding past games/Sonic media in their canon tag: relationship questions - questions about their relationship tag: hedgehobbies - questions about hobbies tag: movies - specifically questions about movies tag: music - specifically questions about music tag: sonic is jealous - Sonic being whiny about Shadow getting attention tag: sonic is not legally allowed to cry - Sonic talking about/avoiding talking about his feelings tag: shadow is allowed to feel - Shadow talking about his feelings tag: bring them gifts - when anons/not anons offer them gifts tag: food - mostly Sonic being a fatass honestly but also Qs about food tag: shadow has chronic pain - Shadow's chronic pain issues feature in these asks/drawings tag: getting personal - Questions of a personal nature which they tend to avoid answering tag: hedgehogs in clothes - anything where they're clothed tag: mobian questions - questions about Mobians tag: not dads - questions about whether they'll have kids tag: coparenting chao - When they're with Chao tag: ticklish shadow - that time everyone discovered Shadow is ticklish tag: wine drunk shadow - that time Shadow got wine drunk and loosened up tag: flower crowns - when anons have gifted flower crowns tag: wedding 1.0 - anything about their first wedding tag: wedding 2.0 - plans for their upcoming wedding party

[All right, I think that's about it! Thanks so much for all your asks, likes, reblogs, comments, and follows! I hope this post is helpful!

Mod out ✌️]

[solaris-amethyst]

💫The last day as the mc trio💫

✨Pairing: idol!Xiaojun x gn!idol!reader x idol!Yeosang ✨Prompt: It is your last day as an mc on The Show together with Xiaojun and Yeosang. ✨Genre: fluff, non romantic, idol au ✨Word Count: 2.3k ☀️Authors note: Since I reached 50 followers here on Tumblr I wrote this to celebrate that✨💓

For some reason you had not expected to feel all these emotions that you were currently experiencing whilst sitting in a make up chair getting your make up and hair fixed for today's episode of The Show.

Perhaps it was the fact that it was your last day here as an mc before you were to retire from the job. Had it been up to you, you would have continued on for far longer than you had been allowed to but unfortunately for you your company had decided after four months you had done enough and were going back to them with no real plan on what to do next.

Which honestly scared you. Not knowing what the next step would be for you, your company hadn't mentioned anything about a comeback or any other job opportunities yet.

You always looked forward coming to The Show, the staff were always so kind to you, chatting about potential upcoming comebacks for you, life in general and so much more and you always appreciated it so much. Not to forget your lovely co-stars and co-mcs Xiaojun and Yeosang.

Both who had welcomed you with open arms when you joined them four months ago. It had been a bit awkward in the beginning, all three of you a bit shy and trying to get to know each other but after your special mc-stage in which you had performed Infinites Bad it had gotten much better. Working together, learning the choreography and singing and practicing had brought you all together very quickly and soon enough the three of you were playing around and joking like you had been friends all your life.

Xiaojun had even once brought along his dog Bella to let her meet both you and Yeosang and she had absolutely adored Yeosang to the point she didn't want to listen to Xiaojun to yours and Yeosangs delight.

You had endless of memories on stage, off stage, in your group chat and much more and to know that a lot of that would stop happening created tiny little cracks in your heart. No more playing around with them, no more hearing Xiaojun sing to his hearts content or filming yet another chaotic TikTok and hearing Yeosangs wonderful laugh at that. No more seeing and hearing Yeosang giggle if he made a mistake when next to you on stage while you mc:d together.

No more of any of what made your days brighter.

"You okay there sweetheart?" The makeup lady asked kindly, stopping what she was doing to check in on you. "You look like you're feeling some big emotions right now." She says quietly and you nod at her.

"I am." You whisper, giving her a small smile before blinking quickly hoping you can will away the tears for now. You could cry later, when you were alone in your dorm room instead.

"You're gonna do great today sweetheart I just know it." She smiles kindly again before going back to putting your make up on once more. The Shows producers had been kind enough to give you three new performance, a farewell performance to you before everyone truly has to say goodbye at the end of today's show.

It had been decided that you would do a cover of Backstreet Boys song Larger Than Life. You three had a few songs presented and the decision had ultimately landed to you and you chose the Backstreet Boys song, practicing the song had been very fun especially going for a more 90s inspired look and dance.

It had caused you three to sometimes very playfully and dramatically pretend you were a group from the 90s doing some of the choreography they did back then. It was corny and very funny causing some dance movements to become inside jokes between the three of you.

"There you are! We've been looking for you!" Xiaojun singsongs as he and Yeosang enters the room, already dressed up in that classic white 90s boyband clothes you were soon gonna be adorning as well.

Both come up with big smiles to your chair, Yeosang can't stop himself from touching a part of your hair that's standing up slightly with a lil giggle causing you to smile.

It was impossible not to smile when you saw him. Yeosang just had that aura that made him instantly likable, like a moth to a flame, it was impossible to stay away and not find him endearing or funny.

"Ready for today's show?" Yeosang asks while tilting his head at you and you can only look fondly at your two friends.

"As ready as I'll ever be I guess..."

"Hey we'll have fun, let's just enjoy this stage and blow everyone's minds." Xiaojun said brightly quickly sharing a look with Yeosang before he looked back at you.

Once you got the go ahead you hurriedly got out of the chair and quickly changed clothes and got your mic on as needed.

In the room you left them, Yeosang and Xiaojun made sure their surprise which consisted of a headband and sash that said Y/ns graduation! Plus a banner they had put together with some lovely words your friends and staff had written down about you, ranging from words like how they will miss you to admiration about your work ethic or your kindness and much more.

Yeosang had even drawn a lil hehetmon holding a lil graduation flower to you and Xiaojun had managed to get Bellas paw print onto the poster as well.

"Do you have the flowers for the farewell speech?" Xiaojun questioned as he took everything to the place near the stage so they could quickly get it all at the end of the performance.

"Yeah, I got the cake as well. It's hidden well, we can try and sneak off and get it when Y/n is holding their speech." Yeosang replied glancing backwards to make sure you wouldn't come back inside and hear about their plans.

"Should I bring some tissues as well? In case they cry?" Xiaojun asks curiously thinking that you might appreciate some tissues in case the waterworks starts flowing when you're holding your very last speech as an mc. He's totally not asking because he knows his own tears might start falling down if he sees you cry, no not at all.

Yeosang gives him a quick nod when he hears you returning and Xiaojun rushes to hide the tissues near the flowers before coming back to you two.

"Ready to perform like we were a 90s boyband?" You ask with a smile feeling the familiar feeling of adrenaline and nerves settling into your bones and body.

"Let's have fun up there okay?" Yeosang says while his hand slides into yours and gives it a gentle but supportive squeeze.

"Have you thought of what to do for your ending fairy?" Your other friend asks and you nod, thinking back on how he had suggested you do the heart signs on your cheeks thinking that would be a good way to end todays stage.

"Can you three please come up on stage and get into position? We're about to start?" A staff said waving his hand so you three would hurry up.

Walking up on stage and into position made all the fans scream in anticipation of seeing what you had prepared. Right before the music started you gave a lil wave to the audience causing another stream of shouts and squeals.

When the familiar starting beat of Larger Than Life came on you and the boys started to dance and perform like you had practice.

The performance flew by quickly, the adrenaline from being on stage and from having fun with your friends made it go back so quickly. You didn't even realize as you finished your pose for your ending fairy that both Yeosang and Xiaojun had quickly run away from your sides with bright giggly smiles only shown to the audience.

You were so focused until Yeosang suddenly came into your view with a smile making you give him a surprised look, a little "eh?" escaped your mouth as he puts on a little headband with the lettering he had prepared.

"There!" He smiles and you can hear a little hehet escaping him as he giggles before stepping aside as Xiaojun comes up with a big sash and putting it on you.

"Ta-daaaaa!" Both of them hold up their little sign and Xiaojun is beaming while Yeosang looks a bit shy doing this infront of everyone in the audience.

"What?!" You exclaim in shock not fully processing what they've just done.

You stand back, mouth agape as you take in the words on the sign.

/Thank you for everything our sunshine./ /The very best at always cheering us up and seeing it from the bright side./ /Loveliest of friends./ /I'll miss you./ /Best mc bestie./

And so much more was written that it honestly brought you to tears and all you could do was run into their arms and hug them both tightly. Screw what others would think, if it would spark dating rumors or not.

You needed to hug your friends in that moment and you had never been happier when you felt them both return the hug just as tight. You could feel someone kissing the top of your head and the fans present screamed louder at the cute display between the three of you.

It took a lot of coaxing from the staff to get you three to eventually let go of each other to head back so you could change and then head out for the finale where you'd announce this weeks winner of The Show.

Yeosang made sure you had your little headband and sash on before smiling brightly again.

"There fits you perfectly." He murmurs after finally adjusting it all and his hand quickly finds his phone when he sees that Xiaojun is taking pictures of you, wanting to do the same.

"Smile Y/n!!"

"Yeah give us a pose!"

It makes you laugh at their seriousness and you can't help but pose while still fighting those tears back. It gets even harder to not cry when Xiaojun lines the three of you up so he can take some cute selfies making sure you do some goofy ones as well.

"Could you three please head up on stage? It's time for the ending of today's show." A staff member told you.

"Of course, we'll be up in a minute." You told them with an appreciative smile.

"Let's do this one last time together?" You ask looking at them both, both are smiling and you can't help but feel like you're home, right where you are supposed to be and soon it will all be ripped away from you and that hurts.

A lot.

The ending honestly flew past, greeting everyone as you made it up on stage at the front with your cue cards and hand mic, standing in the middle of Xiaojun and Yeosang, bickering and having fun during and after announcing the winners and such. The bright lights where blinding and suddenly you got your cue that it was time to wrap it up and for you to say goodbye to what had been your favorite idol gig for the past four months.

"I don't even know where to start." You said into your mic after Yeosang had asked if you wanted to share some last words.

He looked at you with such kind eyes, both of them did. Giving you encouraging nods to speak from your heart.

"I will miss this so incredibly much. I want to say thank you to all the staff here at The Show who have been so incredibly kind to me, who have made every day I've been here an absolute delight." You could feel the tears building up again, your voice starting to get full of emotion as you were speaking. "Yeosang, Xiaojun." The first tear fell when you looked at your two friends and Yeosang was blinking so much you'd think he had gotten something in his eye while Xiaojun was quick to give you a tissue while fighting back his own tears.

"Thank you for everything. Your friendship has meant more to me than you can imagine. I've loved every single minute I've spent with you two here, mc-ing with you have been the highlights of my days and I will miss you both so much now that I have to leave. I will miss you two so much." Was the last thing you managed to say before you saw them both tell you to wait, rushing off stage in a hurry as if they had forgotten something only to come back with a bouquet of roses and a little cake.

You were sure there would be pictures of you ugly crying all over the internet tomorrow but at this moment you couldn't care. You let the tears fall and the sobs to be heard as your two friends stood there with flowers and a cake for you.

"We will miss you too Y/n. We will miss our sunshine who never fails to look at the bright side of things." Xiaojun started.

"And we will miss the way you always bring a smile to everyone's faces no matter how down someone might have been." Yeosang finished.

"We love you!"

"I love you too!" You responded as the director showed they had cut the cameras after that.

You, Yeosang and Xiaojun took no notice being in your own little world of emotions and hugs, tears and laughter.

The night eventually ended with you three going out to eat at a restaurant. Determined to end the day with happiness instead of tears of sadness.

For you, your heart was warm with all the love you had been showered with throughout the day and despite it leaving a bittersweet feeling in your chest perhaps it would still end up okay.

Especially with both of your friends just a call away.

[alterchosistale]

AlterchosisTale (ACT) Anniversary: 📜🕛

It's officially been a year since I've been working on AlterchosisTale...We've done a lot of improvement since and yes, some of my art might be bad in the past, but I've learned to get better throughout the year and now I'm pretty skilled at this! But....this whole project....Started with just one comment...?

How is that possible?

...A new beginning of an Undertale Alternate Universe (AU)...

(I wish I could add more images but there's sadly a limit to how many images I can add to posts.)

Yes, they are incredibly cringe and ugly but, y'know, we always get better the more we draw. These drawings and pictures of creations we made brought back memories of me and my two best friends working on this wonderful project together.

The Co-Creator, Olga, was the one who wrote the comment. She was one of my great friends who was so supportive and everything! She helped with so many things like the names, designs, backstory & story, including a tiny bit of Splash Sans (which is a totally different character and AU). Sadly I've lost contact with her because of unknown reasons but I hope she is doing great!

Arti, is another one of my great friends who worked on the project as Olga introduced me to him one day, saying he wanted to help along with the project. I was so glad to get another member in the project so me and Olga didn't have to do so many things at once. I had a few arguments with him and whatsoever but we always got along with each other and whenever things get complicated, we always come back and continue working on the project!

Because of our collaboration, we were able to create an AU, now being revealed to people around Tumblr. One hope, I hope this AU will become a huge part of the UTMV community as I continue to work on this project! ☺️

Thank you for all the support and hope you all have a fantastic year! ❤️

[mysteria157]

hello hello mystie 🩷 bon has decided to visit you once again.

i am recently going through quite some turbulence with my writing. i have been working on a aot reiner piece for quite some time but it's been feeling rather... unfulfilling? i guess i just want to open up a bit.

as a black woman, i've seen a number of posts on here of other woc having takes about how we should 'embrace our blackness' and write our fics in a way that reflects that. i always understood that this is a valid opinion, as we are often pushed by society to 'calm' ourselves down and water down our personalities and our way of speaking (often not to fall subject to a number of disheartening stereotypes.)

but i've come to a more different, personal conclusion over the past few months. i am a black south african girl who grew up watching british cartoons in order to learn english. my mother took me to a catholic school where english was the language of instruction and we had a similar education system as most british schools (colonisation has a role in this system but that's a discussion for another day.)

i've always been called 'whitewashed' as i am fluent in the language. there's still heavy racial tension where i'm from, so ever since i was little i was compared to speaking as a white person. a 'coconut' if we want to go that far, lol.

besides this, we've become more westernised and my peers around me began to see the struggle of african americans as our own (since we're all experiencing the same biases and discrimination as poc.) now for some reason, seeing the takes of other woc made me feel as if the way i write and speak was incorrect. i felt like a phony, like someone who was dodging away from racism by writing like a 'white person' to stay unattacked.

to cut this short (as this has already been quite long), your writing put things into perspective for me. it might not be 'that deep' but seeing another black woman write and speak similar to myself has healed a small part of me. not only is your writing excellent, but it makes me feel as if that i don't have to pretend to be the stereotypical black writer all the time.

that my way of writing does not make me any less 'black'. i now know exactly how i want to create stories and write them down, as i always could've done.

thank you for being the talented individual that you are. love you lots.

-Bonnie 🩷

Hello my beautiful, Bonnie 💕

I apologize for the delay, I’ve been traveling for work so my activity on Tumblr has been low recently.

It’s a weird sensation of fate to read your post, because I resonate with your thoughts deeply. Growing up as a military child, I moved frequently, so I never really had a “home” like others. The friends that I had were all military children too and made up a melting pot of race, diversity, and background. I did not have a primarily black friend group and because of this, others often made fun of me for not being “black” enough. The way I spoke, wrote, dressed, and my mannerisms were all representative of a “whitewashed” version of a black woman. The concept of whitewashed is a topic for another day 😒

I’ve dealt with being called an “inside out Oreo”and constantly heard the annoying micro-aggression of “talking really well for someone like myself.” And for years it bothered me more that I wanted to feel and act like others, instead of embracing myself. Thankfully, I got over that.

Joining Tumblr and finding a community of black writers has been a great experience, and I definitely agree that we should ‘embrace our blackness’, but embrace it in a way that represents YOU. Not everyone else.

For myself, I embrace with what I write about, not necessarily how I write. Because I write how I think and talk, but I try to share plot and experiences that normally resonate with who I am as a black woman. Cookouts, extended family mannerisms and traditions, how I do my hair and take care of my skin, etc.

You are not a phony and you are not ‘whitewashed’. You’re Bonnie, and Bonnie writes how Bonnie speaks, acts, and feels. Period.

In my opinion, trying to write a certain way to appeal to someone else only takes away from your own authenticity. This isn’t to invalidate someone else’s experience, but you shouldn’t have to pretend to embrace your ‘blackness’. Being able to overcome this feeling is such a strength that you should continue to hold close 💕

Girl, look at me rambling LMFAO. THE POINT IS, I’m so happy that I was able to help you embrace more of who you are. I’m happy that you enjoy my words. I’m happy that you have the strength to create how you want. And I’m just…really happy for meeting you 🥹

Create your stories however you want. As long as Bonnie is happy and Bonnie is enjoying it and Bonnie is not intentionally hurting others, that’s all that should matter.

Love you lots as well. Thank you for being the beautiful mootie that you are 💕😘

[wish-i-were-heather]

she loves (her) more than anyone ever has in the history of man!

MAYMAYMYAMAYMAYMAYMAYMAYMYAMYMAY oh my god hAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY @maybxlle!!!!! i literally love you so much. i cant believe that it's been like. hold on let me do the math. TEN MONTHS? wait am i tweaking. idk. well on the 20th itll be 10 because i joined tumblr june 20. but thats a long time. wtf. you are sosososoososososo amazing and im so glad that i met you here. everything about you is just amazing and perfect. youre so pretty like WHAT youre also so funny i love staying up late talking to you especially because youre SO FAR AHEAD (since you live on the wrong side of the country ugh 🙄) so you end up staying extra late but i love that for us bc it ends up being worth it. youre also literally the coolest and most aesthetic person like your themes always gag me and then i die but then i come back bc i want to keep talking to my cool amazing bg. i know you've been on tumblr longer than i have but we've had so much happen in the almost year we've known each other. we've had so many goofy conversations, made each other laugh, bullied each other (shh), made inside jokes, pretty much done everything but get married (fundding when i get back TRUST). we even survived the Great Tumblr Deactivation of October 2024. it was a scary time but we made it and!! a lot of people are back!! summer 2025 is gonna be amazing i can feel it. we made it through the hard parts and winter and cold and agofidshj but tumblr will be revived and maybe more people will join and we'll make more friends because why else would we use this hellsite. i was soooo happy when you got discord and insta because i could talk to you wayyy more and YAYAYYAYYAY. especially insta because this post is scheduled so im not gonna be online here but im probably texting you happy birthday rn. ok what the fuck this paragraph is so fat. thank you for being one of my first moots ever even on my first blog before it got deleted (iykyk) and also i still think about your casual theme to this day and ive said it 5 billion times but that song makes me think of you because it was the theme you had when i met you. ahgjkfhsdk i love you sooo much like theres not even words for it. i hope you have the best day ever like THE best day ever. you're the most amazing girl in the world and i hope this year is an even amazingER year for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

[louiesselfshipramblings]

Once in a Lifetime: ENA selfship!!

My relationship with ENA as a series is a bit interesting. I knew of her through tumblr for a while, I'd say, but never looked into it. My friend showed me the trilogy of shorts that had her (it was "Auction Day", "Extinction Party", and "Temptation Stairway" at the time), and I thought the style was cool! I didn't think much of ENA as is, but to be fair, I was still a blossoming bud when it came to figure out what I liked. After all I was only, like...eighteen. Lol.

Ena is def one of my more recent selfships, and I was kinda unsure of her when she re-entered my mind. I was unsure if it was really smth special, or just kind of a spur of the moment situation. I was still kinda feeling that as I got this quite frankly amazing commission, but seeing the WIPs and ESPECIALLY the final product made me go "Oh yeh...that's my gf!!!"

The Lore!!

My sona here is known as Lüc, which is a somewhat corruption of my own name? I wanted something that matched the sorta off-kilter, fake-video-game vibes of ENA as is. Tho, given the sparse nature of world building as of now, I'm kinda just making the setting...Earth-like with special features, lol. Maybe DreamBBQ will change things, idk yet.

But!! Lüc!! He's a starry eyed (quite literally) mid-twenty-something who owns a local theater, but it's a lil crummy. Has an old, 80s style appearance due to lack of budget, which also effects the showings. Since I can't afford big releases, I mainly show older public domain films and cartoons, with "new" content being indie films. It attracts...people, at least. I also sell cashews instead of popcorn cause I don't like how kernels get stuck in my teeth (and in lore an unpopped kernel cracked a tooth of his as a kid)

Ena sorta just stumbled in, as she does, and hung out in the lobby. Didn't even see a film, but she did buy some cashews. We did chat for a while. It was a brief encounter, but...I kinda fell for her at first sight XD

The feeling of liking was mutual, course, but she didn't really think it romantic at first. Which is why she visited so often! To see her friend! Yippie...but eventually I had the guts to tell her how I feel (we were close enough friends by then), and she was a little surprised at first! I was worried I upset her at first, but turns out she was just thinking it over. The look of realization on her face and the way she blurted out "THAT'S WHAT THE CARNATIONS MEANT!!!" still stick in my head, heh!

We didn't start right there, exactly. Ena said she needed time to think it over, so of course I let her. I was bracing myself for waiting a whole week of not seeing her, but she ended up popping back in three days later, roughly. She seemed a lil lost for words, which shocked me seeing as she usually had such colorful vocabulary. I tried to give her some support in realizing her feelings and such, before she blurted out, again, "I LIKE YOU A LOT TOO?? CAN WE DATE MAYBE???"

And we just kinda started dating! I took her out to a very nice restaurant, and that's also where we had our first kiss!!! And we've just been kinda going regular since! She still lives at her place, but she visits a lot to mine (second floor of the theater, saves space and money!!).

We're still very much enjoying being each other's bf and gf, so marriage is hardly on the table. No kids either, probably. Neither of us think we'd be able to handle it, lol. Moony visits sometimes too! We...get along best we can. I realize she's Ena's best friend, she realizes I mean a lot to Ena. We tolerate one another for her sake.

But yeah! That's my self ship with Ena! The series timeline is kinda...nebulous? Especially with DreamBBQ and the whole "second" Ena. I mainly just ship with the OG blue-yellow pre-TempStair version of her; gonna have to wait and see with this new gal!

The amazing art of me and Ena coming together was done by the always spectacular @cupiidzbow! I said before but you did just AMAZING here!! Like my sona is great but also your Ena is so cute???? I def gotta get more with her from ya! And you, the reader, should support Freddie and his monkey business!

[keepmovinjunior]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

ROLEPLAYER NAME: jenn :)

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she / her

MUSE NAME: megara

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: here or tumblr IM

EXPERIENCE: i started on myspace back in 2006 ; my first ever characters were rouge the bat and rita from oliver & company. so many fond memories of that honestly! we all had a group of lady disney dogs who were friends <3

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: i really like everything, honestly. banter, crack... just those little fun things are great, because i don't always have time to do longer things, and they're just so much fun and good for keeping a muse's voice fresh and having characters bounce off of each other! but longer threads are great too, and i really enjoy them a lot for world and relationship building between two muses.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: too much like... out of character moping tbh, like. i get that sometimes we all have to let it out and that this place is very supportive and therapeutic in a lot of ways, but... at the end of the day, everyone is responsible for themselves, and they have actual therapists in the world. also. this is my happy (hopefully) drama free place to escape from the issues of the real world and have fun, and i assume it is most everyone elses' here, too, and it gets really draining to see people playing victim all of the time (it's obvious when that's being done), so i don't engage with that kind of energy. also, if you're pushy. like the "hello???" messages if i don't respond, or the asking if i'm responding to you more than once, that's one million and one percent gonna turn me off. just be chill, no one owes anyone anything here, we're all having fun and we have lives.

PLOTS OR MEMES: hmmmmmm, this is hard. probably plots. i appreciate memes for the icebreaker aspect, but they don't always fit my character. sometimes i edit them a bit to sound more like meg, and i would encourage any of my followers to do the same too, if they want to with me!

BEST TIME TO WRITE: i have more time during the day if i'm wfh / have the day off, but i usually feel most creative at night, lol. i try to run a queue though. it's not working v well because i'm excited and always want to post things right away but we're getting there team

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: in some ways i think so; she's more like me than a lot of muses i've written. i think meg, jane, and maybe elsa are the disney gals i'm most like, personally. we're both women around the same age (meg's older for a disney female romantic lead, which is refreshing), we've both had our hearts broken, we both don't have any biological family whom we keep in touch with... and we both have been guilty of using dark humor as a defense mechanism. also, i am soft and enjoy *~ kisses and hugs *~ like meg, but don't tell anyone no one can know i am a geek and nerd ok. but at the same time, meg is not entirely a self insert. she's a lot funnier than me. she's had a harder time in life than i have by comparison, and she lives in a much worse time for women, lmao. also i really admire her sacrificial side, the fact that she'd do anything for her loved ones, and her moral compass. she won't harm someone she loves, even if she dies in the process. i want to be that way, and she's an inspiration to me because of it.

tagged by : @peculiarbeauty the one and only belle, ty queen <3 tagging: anyone who wants to!! steal it ya filthy animals

[auxiliarydetective]

End-of-Year Appreciation Post

Let's see if I can get this done before midnight - I have 36 minutes! But I really wanted to get this posted, so... time for a speedrun! This post won't nearly be able to say everything I wanna say, so, first and foremost: I love and appreciate all of my mutuals and people I've gotten to talk to this year, so thanks for coming to my corner of the internet and gifting me a little (or a lot - because lord knows I don't shut up if someone mentions one of my favourite fandoms) of your time!

With that being said, time for some special thanks!

@wheresmybloodynauglamir The encyclopedia of Star Trek and one of my closest friends on this hellsite. Thanks so much for literally everything you've done for me this year and all the lovely conversations. Let's have a lot more of those next year! Live long and prosper <3

@littlemervie Thank you for indulging my very nichest of niche interests like The Little Prince and for always sending me a kind message when I least expected it.

@fluffle-system My favourite bnuy in the whole world and a fellow FNAF enjoyer. I hope I always get to be the auxiliary to your detective (yes, this is actually sort of an accurate aitiology of how my url came to be - if you know you know). Let's solve more mysteries and riddles together.

@supermarine-silvally You may have only very recently stumbled into my corner of the internet but I adore every conversation we've had and I hope that many more are to come. If I had to make a choice to pass on my OCs to anyone, the great Donna Aurelia would be yours, and that's a great honor, so I hope you know how much I appreciate our conversations!

@carriagelamp We didn't talk too much this year and that's frankly a crime, but I still stare lovingly at every piece of art you've created for me, with me, or simply for the fandoms I'm in - and the ones for fandoms I don't know I stare at from afar. Just letting you know that I smile everytime I see you on my dash :)

@faerieroyal Dolly my beloved! I hereby sincerely apologize for all the times I've hopped into our Discord chat to ramble about my OCs or whine about my hour-long adventures of looking for faceclaims and/or names, but I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. The amount of positivity and support you bring into my life is immesurable and I absolutely adore you for supporting each of my OCs, even if you don't know their fandom, and how you let me introduce you to my newest hyperfixations when the brainrot strikes. - To many more rambling sessions!

@come-along-pond who allowed me to participate in the fyeahonepieceocs blog and gave me a platform to launch my own little project of a OP resources blog from. - Through anon hate and plot bunnies, you've helped me and supported me through so much and I'm really, really thankful for that!

@oneirataxia-girl @endless-oc-creations and everyone else in the Discord Server, thank you so much for suffering through my countless pings and appearing when I need you most to offer your advice and help. You've saved many of my OCs in the past and I'm certain you'll keep doing so in the future.

@starcrossedjedis @bravelittleflower and @ninjasawakenedmystar aka the angels who made Cora's creation possible - and by extention then also that of Lily and La Donna! Thanks so much, my fellow One Piece girlies!

@thehedgehogat221b who has been keeping me tethered to the A-Team fandom, making sure that I never forget how happy it makes me, and who always has time to spare to hear me ramble about Kit Kelley and her conman boyfriend

@daughterofhecata @bistdueinbaum and the entire Die Drei ??? fandom. You brought me onto Tumblr and though I may not be as active in the fandom anymore, Tumblr still considers my blog a Die Drei ??? blog and I don't plan on forgetting my roots anytime soon, so I promise you more detective content in the year 2024 - featuring my beloved Jelena, of course! My token adopted side character... Maybe I'll also hop into the Tatort fandom, who knows? Also, can we make Rosenheim Cops a fandom? I feel kinda lonely and silly over here lol

@claramurphyqueenoffandoms the VoicePlay supporter. Man, was I happy to find someone who loves these dorks as much as I do. We haven't talked much, but thanks so much for enabling the hyperfixation that triggered my character development into a happier person and letting me relive those memories.

@cody-helix02 @thoughpoppiesblow @footprintsinthesxnd @kafka-ohdear and the entire Band of Brothers fandom. You've been so nice to me from day one when I first stumbled into the fandom and you still are incredibly lovely people! I'd like to give something back, so, if you ever need any research done for your fic and you can't find anything, let me know and I'll traverse my resources and my university's library to see what I can find <3 Also, I shall present to you more Anita content in the future! There's one fic featuring Luz and one featuring Bull curently in my projects list!

@maxwellshimbo @asaturnerofficial and all the other lurkers and people I constantly find in my notes - you always brighten my day. I'll have had an awful no good time but then I see you and I go: "Ah yes, my friends are still here" and I feel so much better!

Thanks to much to everyone on and off the list, and have a very lovely new year!

[ithinkshesprettyy]

JOURNAL ENTRY #4

hi! long time no see!! first entry of 2025 and first in a longggg time!!!! happy new years and merry christmas to all who celebrate <33 sooo i took a long break off tumblr lmao i've been on and off lurking but haven't really posted on any of my accounts. i think it's done me a lot of good and i feel more in touch with myself and more connected to my friends and the world around me.i've missed my mutuals ofc but i've been talking to lots of you on discord or insta anyway!! i've had the last month and a bit since nov 22nd off school (!!!!!) because i finished my exams THANK GOD failed half of them but i don't even careeee lmao. but yeah i've spent so much time with my friends and writing and just reconnecting with myself over this summer break i feel a little bit more like myself now!! but christmas is always such a messy time for me and there's been so much going on in my life, it's honestly hard to keep up. my family is lowkey a mess but my cousins (8 and 11) got back from japan after living there for TWO YEARS!!! that was my december high probably it was so good to see them after so long, especially the girl because we've always been so close and it was so great to catch up!! i just got back from a camping trip with my mum, it was great but we (somehow??) forgot our pillows 😭😭 but it was so good and lots of thrifting and walks and swims i loveeee summer!!!! reccently i've been having an existential crisis about the fact that i'm starting year 13 (last year of high school in nz) on FEBRUARY THE THIRD??? it's honestly insane to me and it made me realise oh fuck theres under 200 days of school until i GRADUATE??? hello???? like???? it's terrifying but oh so freeing i honestly hate school so much lmao it'll be suchhh a relief to be out of that hellhole. me and my best friend had a sleepover last night and we made a cake with a stripper rat on it (no context xx) and watched some movies and yapped for like 2 hours. we cleared up some stuff that went on in our friendgroup last year which was SUCH a relief and we just yapped so much i love 1am talks they're so perfect and they always clear everything up and get things off ur shouldersss. then we fell asleep with her cat cuddled in between us purring like a literall machine!!! idk if i'll regularly use this blog but this was nice to write i love you all <33

[aspartaime]

I'm in a mood tonight so if anyone who i have ever known see this, let's read further. This is truly so stream of conscious. It's just a general life update.

CW: drug use, mental health themes, emotional?? idk it was to me, SA

My friends on this site, I know we've been out of contact for years. I have been in a season of life where I am extremely sentimental. I look back on my friends I made here/friends I have IRL that also followed me here, and it makes my heart swell.

I was going through some severe mental issues when I was on Tumblr regularly. I've since pinned it down to "being a chronically online, easily influence teenager". There were a lot of things either glorified, justified, and normalized on Tumblr that messed up my nerf ball brain. I was not a great friend because of it. I realize in hindsight as an adult whose brain is less nerf-bally that the lot of you who cared about me must have really cared about me to stick with me through that shit show. This is my formal apology in the least direct or awkward way for my behavior. Know that I love you all and pray your lives are full of home cooked meals and laughter and peaceful Sunday mornings.

Since my PTSD diagnosis I have done a lot of making sense of old memories. My life from age 13 through age 17 is such a blur. My girlfriend doesn't know what to say when I bring it up. You all would love my girlfriend, by the way. We live together now. She's the light of my life. She makes things worth remembering again.

I finally stopped acting like a doormat. My constant need for validation that I experienced in my youth has become a mildly nihilistic disposition. But like, the cool nihilism, where nothing matters so everything is super chill. I realized it doesn't matter if I don't like someone or someone doesn't like me, we all have different preferences and needs and all. I dunno. It's kind of nice to be free of clingy baby hell. I'm attributing that to the PTSD diagnosis as well.

I got into weed. This is not a surprise to anyone who have ever had a conversation with me, I'm sure. I started smoking to take the nightmares away. Then it became just a normal part of my day. I don't abuse it though. I just find that it helps keep my head quiet.

I got in a lot of fights along the way. It's kind of funny. This last fight was really my tipping point into my "go-with-the-flow" phase. Given it was the third (or possibly even fourth? PTSD makes it difficult to care about keeping track) I was sexually assaulted, I just had to make a decision then and there I was done caring. It also reinforced my belief that people who go through hard stuff have a flashing sign over their heads that tell other predators this isn't their first rodeo. At least it felt that way to me. I digress. This person was my best friend, allegedly, and it just blew up on me.

Anyways. All that negative aside I have been doing better than I ever have. My mental health is taken care of. I stimulate my brain and challenge myself with my three jobs, LOL. It keeps e out of trouble. I am with the most darling woman I've ever met. She saved me. My two cats are my prides and joys. I'm in a longplay of the Sims 4 right now.

I sign off on this post by requesting:

If you knew me and took the time to read this, I care for you always. Thank you for helping me get to where I am now, getting me through the hardest years of my life when I was also constantly using this site, and teaching me so much about true friendship. You guys rule.

[musewrangler]

#2, 6, 15, and 18 for the fic writer ask game, please!!

Have I mentioned before that you are the coolest for asking me things about my writing? Thank you friend. :D

2. What fanfic do I wish I got more response on?

I think that has to go to my Star Wars Western---Showdown At Alliance Ranch. I had SUCH fun with it and I really worked the research and descriptions. But it is admittedly a very niche thing, so I'm at peace with its humble hit count. :D

6. Have you written any fanfiction featuring OCs? Elaborate.

Ha. This is hilarious coming from you. You're just handing me a microphone and smirking because you KNOW about this. ;D So. Stretches fingers.

Why yes. Yes I HAVE written OCs. xD AND featured them! This is an amusing one, because when I started writing here, particularly the Empire Reimagined series, I was determined not to do any OCs. I think I found so many of them rather shoe horned in with other works and I didn't want my stories to feel like that. I liked the feel of the original canon characters. However, we all grow don't we? And it made sense in my AU to have more characters to make the galaxy more three dimensional. Doctor Henley was the first OC and there was NO WAY he was going to let me just use him and lose him. So even early in my writing, I broke this little private rule and carefully put in a few OCs. Henley, as mentioned. Then Braxten, a medic, and Sergeants Havel and Ellery.

However, in terms of FEATURING one. That didn't happen until my young friend, Matthew Scraps, showed up. I had once again written him as a nice little filler character. A newbie to interact with canon characters in a one shot. But then, I needed some characters for a short series I did featuring Commander Fox and I thought---hey. This would make sense and we've seen him before.

I'm not sure when the idea of putting him on as the head of Piett's security squad hit my brain, but when it did, I realized I had someone I had made indispensable. And then he and Piett developed this wonderful father-son energy. The rest, as they say, is history.

15. Are there words, mannerisms, phrases or scenes you tend to use a lot?

Ha there sure are. I'll try to stay brief. I love thinking of Piett and Veers as exceedingly British. I mean---the actors ARE so that shapes the way I portray them. Thus, both are fairly understated in the wonderful way that the Brits can be, especially when faced with fearful odds. ;D Veers tends to convey a great deal with his 'Iron General' persona. Piett has very expressive eyes and eyebrows so I utilize that a lot in my work. I love having him do little things like tug his jacket into place or rub at his temple to convey various emotions. I find that the way people hold their mouths is very effective with conveying feeling: chewing a lip, pressing them together, allowing the edge to curl a little, scrunching a bit in distaste etc.

In terms of scenes---I have to follow a hurt with a comfort. It may not be right away, but I find I'm not an author that can do hurt no comfort very often at all. So my fics usually have a concluding wrap up with people where they should be, a conversation that needs to happen or healing etc. I love a good confrontation scene between characters and have done a lot of those.

Phrases. Well. Piett will always call Leia 'my dear' and I like that he uses Scraps' full name. Always 'Matthew' not Matt. He and Veers use the 'Good Hunting' 'Safe Stars' when they have to split up to complete a mission. Piett also tends to use 'I'll endeavor' when instructed to do something and it's usually a somewhat playful response.

18. Recommend some else's fic [and tag them if they have a tumblr]

There are so many tremendous writers on here and I confess that I write more than read. But. I would HIGHLY recommend the incredibly talented @hollers-and-holmes. She has done phenomenal things with Tolkein fan work and is a Rembrandt with word painting.

Thank you again for this friend!!

[probadbatch]

Feel free to ignore this - it's just some uncharacteristically melancholy musings about the past that I needed to get out of my head. Everything's fine, don't worry.

I've been going through my archive from the early days of this blog and just. So many people have deactivated since the season one days. I know some of them remade and are active now but more are just gone. I feel like I'm seeing ghosts.

If you're new here - things are better now but they were pretty ugly in the beginning. This blog really only exists because I got so damn frustrated with the negativity and fighting and I needed to channel that into something a little more positive. A lot's changed since then. Friends deactivated, bullies moved on, but I'm stubborn so I'm still here.

It was weird coming into this fandom at first. I've been on tumblr since 2011 and to say I've seen its ugly side is an understatement. This blog is relatively small for me but I have another that... well, let's just say I get hate mail there on the daily. Coming into the SW community here was the ugliest I've ever seen tumblr. I won't call the whole fanbase toxic but there were definitely a few people who were and unfortunately they were organized and extremely loud about it. They tried to drag everyone into their war and if you tried to stay out of things, that made you a target.

A few of them are still around. They've moved on to other things but every once in a while I break my own cardinal rules and check in on a few of their blogs. They don't seem any happier than they did back then. I'm sad for them. It looks like such a miserable way to be. The fans who stayed definitely seem happier than any of the bullies ever did.

I wonder about the fans who didn't stay. I like to think they just found somewhere more pleasant to be and they're living good happy lives now and don't give much thought to the old days. But I don't know. And with how bad the bullying got back then, I worry.

If anyone I don't know about remade and is reading this - please don't feel like you have to tell me. If you're happy and safe, that's all I care about and if your privacy is how you've managed that, I'm okay with not knowing. But I think about you - even if we didn't know each other back then. I think about all the fans who've disappeared. I hope you're doing well.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. I guess partly I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone who left before I could tell them. I guess I also wanted to say that bullies might win battles but they don't win wars. We've lost good people but the fandom is still here, still going strong.

This blog is for anyone who's ever had someone else try to tell them how to experience fandom or to stay out of it entirely. People who would say that are miserable and the only thing misery loves is company - so much so that it will go to great lengths to create more. Pity those who would rather spread their misery than accept joy.

I don't care who you are or how you identify or what your politics are or what you ship or how long you've been in fandom or what someone else thinks you've done. If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open for you. I promise you aren't bothering me.

I'm tired of seeing deactivated blogs.

[realfernmayo]

I'm going with anon on this although I am a regular reader of your works/blog. It's in reference to a recent blog post about feeling like people find you annoying, etc. I don't know if you're referring to online interactions or F2F with people, but I'm sorry you feel that way.

FWIW, you're being awfully hard on yourself. I suppose it's easier said than done to relax that inner voice, but at the same time, perhaps people do not find you annoying at all? Not sure of the social situations to which you refer, but those cover a lot of ground when you think about it. For example,, chatting with acquaintances about one's passions is slightly different than friends. I am awful with reading cues from people (F2F) and then in text, there is the whole issue of reading tone and intent. Perhaps in the interactions, there are contextual communications that make you feel one way but the person(s) don't believe you're that way at all. Or, there are issues of which you are unaware that are making the communication difficult (for example, I had a personal loss that I didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone too far outside of my social circle, but it did affect my ability to be a good listener on occasion so my attention was divided. I sometimes think that the old way of going into mourning helped with such types of interactions)

Anyway, I hope you don't interpret this as me telling you how to feel. Far from it. You feel the way you feel because that is what humans do. Feel. What I am attempting to relate is to encourage you to not give up on social interactions because it could just be that there are plenty of people who share your passions or enjoy listening to you describe your passions (it can be contagious you know!) or whose cues are being misinterpreted. Or, not. I suppose there are enough assholes or people who don't listen very well--we've all run into those types. But, those people are missing out on some really great conversations aren't they?

Sorry for the length of the 'ask.' I have a friend (not on Tumblr) who frequently calls me and one of the first things I used to do (and still do although nowadays she pre-empts me with a 'I need to vent') was ask her if she needed a problem solved or if she needed to vent. The reason being was that sometimes we just need someone with which to share our frustrations but not go into the 'here is what you might try mode.' Both can be positive interactions or negative depending upon the perspective of the two and I always liked to get that squared away so we weren't at cross purposes if that makes sense.

I wasn't sure if you were venting or otherwise, but again, FWIW, you matter and so do your feelings. Take care.

Heya nonnie!

Sorry it has taken me a few days to respond, you gave me alot to think about, lol.

Honestly, since no one interacted with that post, I didn't think anyone saw or cared, so thank you for making me feel valid and seen. It means alot.

I guess it's a combination of both online and IRL interactions. It's hard to make friends as an adult, and I am at the age where everyone has kids, and I am child free by choice, so I feel excluded from my real life friends quite a bit. I know people are just busy, and that's probably it, but my stupid brain just thinks everyone hates me.

The fact is, I am just lonely. Being disabled and chronically ill is incredibly isolating, and having online friends I interact with helps tremendously, but I just end up feeling like I'm bothering people.

I appreciate your very kind words, and the encouragement. This is something I have been working through with my therapist, and it's getting better, but I still have bad days.

Much love to you and anyone reading this!

[plaexus]

hey plaexus-nim long time fan first time speaker here 🫶🫶

just wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for this fandom we’re all truly blessed to have you. you’ve created such a wonderful and wholesome space here even in the midst of all the chaos lol twitter can be quite hectic at times!! so it’s nice to always have tumblr and your blog to fall back on. like seeing your name on the dash once in a while is genuinely a breath of fresh air so thank you 🫂🫂🫂

(also thank you for submitting all those beautiful prompts to the fic fest this year. some of my favorite works ever are from ideas you’ve submitted in the past so thank you again for all your beautiful contributions 🫶🫶🫶)

also on a personal note can i just say how reassuring it is to see another med student in the fandom who’s managed to preserve their sanity like omggg 😭😭😭 granted i’m still months away from starting M1 but, jesus christ, finding any shred of hope in this field means everything. the fact that you can still breathe and find joy in things is seriously an inspiration for the rest of us rookies cause i’m trembling with terror ngl

(also mashallah for studying biology i could neverrrr LOLLL i barely passed my premed reqs sprinted outta there and applied everywhere as a non-science major 🙏🙏 you’re truly stronger than i ever will be god bless)

lastly i wish you the best of luck on your exams ❤️❤️❤️ fighting as always i know in my heart you’ll do great

ok that’s all anyways i hope u have a wonderful day thank you again and much love 🙏🙏❤️❤️

hiii! no need to call yourself a fan, we are simply friends here 😊 it means a lot to me to hear that this has been a fun and safe space for you. that's all i could really hope to accomplish with this tumblr at the end of the day. it's all thanks to other anons and jmjers here, not really me haha. i'm genuinely a nobody in this fandom lol but i'm just so glad we're able to talk about things, admittedly not all of them good, in a space that is not twt lol

oh my gosh, incoming m1! i am wishing you all the best. trust that things turn out better than you initially expect, and that you'll get to where you hope to be in due time :) i didn't have it easy and i doubt myself everyday LOL but things just work out. if other people were able to do it, so can we :) and oh my god, it's much more amazing that you're a non-science major and still pursuing this. my sister is like you, she was in data science essentially, and now she's a dermatologist. you can do it too! you are stronger than you think

fighting, friend! may we do well in the journey ahead of us. have a good day too! let's hope these upcoming days will be better than the last few days we've had :''')