#i have bad luck. and the state i was born in used fucking faded ass stamps for everything so nobody can read the numbers that are

[ratwars]

If some official process takes someone 20 mins it will take me 2 hours and there will be like three different problems and I will be crossing my fingers at the mercy of the govt employee helping me hoping they accept my eternally cursed documents.

[obsessive-ego]

It's like a popsicle but completely different

Musical beetlejuice x fem reader

NSFT WARNING

Masterbation, voyeurism, you know the drill

Beej finally gets a hold of something very personal and freshly used

i did get alittle sidetracked and slipped in another little idea i wanted to explore

I apologize for this mess

Time and time again he was so close to getting his hands on the ultimate treasure. You always snatched it away before he could grab it. But today, today was different.

...

A normal boring weekday, you were at work and will be gone till the evening, normally the born dead demon would be digging through your stuff looking for just about anything to use whether it was blackmail, which you had nothing, or a delicate item to help remedy some personal urges. But the ghoul wasnt exactly in the mood, hell he wasnt even in the mood to mess with your neighbors, as odd as it seemed, for once in his after life he was concerned for someone other then himself.

Earlier this morning you left in a huff, beej knew you were in a sour mood when you snapped at him when he tried to make you laugh, you weren't upset at him, but the action was still surprising, he wasnt sure what was causing you so much stress, probably work, not that he'd ever convince you to take him with you.

So here he was laying on your bed staring at the ceiling and not taking his opportunity to go wild and have fun. You were his favourite breather and it sucked that your mood effected him, whatever happened to the big bad demon straight from hell? He fell in love that's what, you sucker punched him in the jaw for trying to scare you, and snuck right into his undead heart.

The demon huffs out a sigh, not that he needed to breath, and pulled out a little clock from his jacket, youd be home soon, he sighs again, time sure did moving differently when you were dead.

The undead demon debated his opinions of how to greet you, assuming youd still be in a crappy mood, scaring the piss out of you could get him banished, which was a shame, scaring you was great, the ghoul would either get a delightful scream or a solid punch from you.

Beetlejuice decides the best option was to just survey the waters and work from that, if you were in a better mood he'd jump at you, and if you weren't, he'll go bug the old couple in the next apartment over.

With the familiar clunk on your front door unlocking followed by a slam, was a good indication that you were home, and not exactly in the best mood. Beej frowns and with a snap the demon made himself invisible to you, to avoid you, the last thing the ghoul wanted was you to lash out and banish him.

You swing open your bedroom door, beej flinches at the sudden action, not that you could see him. You toss your bag onto the bed just missing your undead pal, you rub your eyes and flip down beside him, the ghoul leans in close, were you crying?

"Fucking bitch, I'm doing the best I can" you grumble

Beetlejuice flashes from his basic green to fiery red, what the fuck was going on at your job?! Who the actual fuck was stupid enough to torment HIS breather?!

You quickly jump to your feet, whipping away your tears, you weren't gonna let this get to you, you were home and you weren't gonna waste anymore brain power on your shitty coworkers.

With that thought you strip out of your work clothes, unaware of the ghost in the room, who's fiery red hue was now a bright electric pink, wide eye and drooling watching you change into more comfortable attire, commando he was sure to note.

In your emotional entrance you didnt even notice if beetlejuice was even still present in your apartment, yes he would rush you the moment you got it, see there was a good chance he was out doing his thing.

"Beetlejuice?" You call out

"Beetlejuice?" You call out again

"Sugar, be careful with the B word" beej quickly pipes up, forgetting his words would not reach you in his current state

"Bee- Oh, my bad, almost 3 in a row there" you cover your mouth and beej let's out a sigh he didnt know he was holding.

Guess the ghoul wasnt around, which was fine, you were emotionally drained, with a headache coming on, and honestly could use some alone time, nothing against your friend, sometimes you just need some peace and quiet.

You flop back onto your bed and sigh, beetlejuice floats over next to you, frowning, guess he should duck out and let you pull yourself back together, youd be in a better mood to mess with later. The ghoul floats over to your bedroom door to leave but stops, when he hears a delightful familiar thud of very specific drawer, Beetlejuice's hair quickly shifts from its dull green to electric pink, he knew that you were up to, the ghoul spins back to you to confirm his thoughts.

Here you were, upon your bed, pajama pants abandoned, lubing up your beautiful pink vibrator. Beetlejuice was buzzing with excitement, the ghoul floats back to your side to enjoy the show.

"So wound up from work you need to blow off some steam?~" he coos, not that you could hear him.

...

Oh how the born dead demon adore watching you tend to your more desperate needs, yes he'd love to rip that lucky peice of silicon straight out of you and replace it with his own cock, fingers, tongue, hell anything would be delightfully. He wanted you bad, and not just in the sexual sense, he wanted you to be all his, to cuddle, kiss, joke around with, and yes he knew you liked him back, you were terrible at keeping secrets, and maybe during one spying session he herd you moan his name, but beetlejuice could see you were a coward with your feelings and for once in his undead life, he respected that you needed sometime to come around, but that didnt mean he couldnt push his luck with you. Lean against you during movie nights, cling to you like a lost child, cuddle you while you slept, you never pushed him away or outwardly said no.

You were his perfect little breather, funny, tough, jumpy, and sexy, exactly his type, plus you basically let him do whatever he wanted, so win win.

...

Beetlejuice sat in front of you, a perfect view, as if you were presenting your vagina to him, you were leaning against the headboard of your bed, against a few pillows, since you were alone the plan was to jerk away your bad mood, summon your favorite undead bastard, and just hang out.

You gently slide the vibrator inside, beetlejuice bites his lip, slowly pulling out his Half hard cock.

With a familiar click the toy buzzes to life, you let out a soft gasp before reaching down and pumping the toy in and out of your body.

Youd never admit it but you were a horny little thing, beetlejuice sure as hell didnt help, the bastard always had his hands on you, god you wanted to know what itd feel like to have him touch you like this. You curse yourself, he's dead, isnt that gross? Who cares, you lul your head back and begin bucking you hips to meet the toy.

"F-fuck" you utter, you really needed this, with beetlejuice hanging around and being underfoot, you really hand no time to yourself.

Unbeknownst to you the ghoul you wanted so badly was sitting inches away from you jerking his cock matching your pace, gazing bouncing from your face, to your chest, to your delightful wet pussy.

"That's it sweets, you're so good, naughty little thing~" he purred.

Hearing you moan made the ghoul shudder, oh how he LOVED that sound, and wished he was the one making you do it, soon, he can get his fix like this for a tad longer.

You begin bucking harder, and you voice begins breaking, a good indication you were gonna finish soon, beetlejuice has seen this enough times to know how your body is, he begins picking up his pace, wanting to finish shortly after you.

"Ah, ah, Lawrence-" you moan out as you cum.

Beetlejuice's jaw drops, and blows his load, hearing you moan out his first name, hell he didnt even know you knew it, fuck it sounded so good coming from you, it felt like his heart was gonna start pumping again.

"Babes" he says in a whisper, watching you regain your self.

You toss the toy aside as you put yourself back together, sliding on some pajama pants, you sigh, feeling much better. You're brought back to reality when you hear you phone ring, you make a dash to the front door, where your jacket was tossed in your emotional entrance, your phone being in its pocket.

There sat beetlejuice, alone on your bed, electric pink fading to a softer pink, soft cock still in hand, cum all over his lap, the ghoul was stuck in a loving daze, you said his name, his first name, it sounded so good coming from you, god slash satan he wanted more, he also wanted to thank whoever told you his first name.

Then it clicked, you were gone, and left behind your freshly used, hot out the oven, bright pink vibrator, finally, after all the time you snatched this treasure right from under him so many times, but here it was, as if you handed it to him on a silver platter. What did he do to deserve you is beyond his knowledge, after all the horrible things his demon ass has done, he keeps winning.

Electric pink gracing his hair once again, the ghoul couldnt help but drool at the delicious treat you have left for him, but he knew he couldnt enjoy it here so the demon snatches up the toy and vanishes, reappearing in the bathtub, his go to place to hide and enjoy some personal time. Beetlejuice could hear you pacing and chatting on the phone, indicating you're gonna be preoccupied for the next little while, meaning he's got nothing to worry about.

"Alright my tasty little thing, it's just you and me now~" tongue dragging the length of the toy, beetlejuice shivers, it was still warm, he let's out a low growl.

"Fuck, no wonder I call ya sugar, you taste just so good". His free hand finds it's way back into his trousers, pulling out his now semi erect cock for another round.

Beetlejuice's tongue roamed the toy, savoring the taste of you, oh how the demon dreamed of tasting you from the source, and this was so damn close, so warm.

"So such sweet little breather, we havent even had dinner and you're already giving me dessert~" the ghoul hums, treat your vibrator as a popsicle, starting off with long licks from base to tip, before sticking the toy in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip.

The ghoul was a buzz with excitement, electric prink hue so bright it practically illuminated the bathroom, reflecting off the tub and shower walls. Drool leaking from his busy mouth, eyes rolled back in absolute bliss as his free hand stocked his cock, his mind running wild, replaying the show he witnessed moments earlier, but instead of you dashing off, you as the demon to help you clean off your little toy.

"Lawrence, can you please help me with this?" You would coo.

The thought of you saying his first name again was enough to get the ghoul to start bucking harder into his hand, covk already leaking pre cum.

"Fuck" he utters "I'd do anything for ya y/n" he growls out, hips thrusting without rhythm, he wasnt gonna last much longer.

With one last long lick from base to tip, and the thought of you thanking him for helping you 'clean up' with the use of his first name again, was more then enough to push him over the edge again, shooting his load off on his hand and lap once again. Beetlejuice leans back and sighs with contentment, electricity leaving his hair and being replaced with soft pinks and greens.

"Y/n's favourite popsicles are the pink ones, heh, I dont blame her, mine too" he muses while admiring the 'clean' vibrator.

"I guess I should tidy this up" he groans looking at his cum covered hand, with a snap of his fingers his little mess was gone, yes he may be sitting in the tub, but the demon sure as hell wasnt gonna take a bath.

Beetlejuice gives the toy another once over, coding it in a thin layer of demon spit before vanishing it away to its rightful home, knowing you, youd find it in you drawer and assume you put it away and forgot. The demon felt so smug with today's events, you seemed to be happier after you jerked off, and he got dinner and a show, just not in that order.

Beetlejuice is snapped from his musing with the bathroom door swings open, with the shower curtain pulled the demon was fully visible to you, thank god slash satan he cleaned himself up.

"What are you doing?"

Beetlejuice, fully dressed, covers his chest as if he was naked.

"Dont you knock? I'm in the tub" he jokes

You snort out a laugh followed by a fake apology

"So what's up doll? Ya need to pee? Dont mind me" beej shrugs

"No" you say plainly as you wash you hands "since you're here, wanna order pizza? I had a shitty day and want to relax" you sigh glancing at the ghoul who was now buzzing with excitement, take out ment scaring the piss out of breathers. Beetlejuice pulls you close into a tight bear hug "I dont know what I did to deserve you babes"

When released, you stumble away saying you were gonna go place that order, clearly embarrassed and confused, not 100% expecting that reaction from beetlejuice.

Even though it had a rocky start today was a good day.

Bonus

You were sitting on the couch fiddling with your phone after making yours and Beetlejuice's pizza order, not really thinking much of anything. The demon flops down beside you, you glance up at him, he's been weirdly quiet since he hugged you in the bathroom.

"So babes, did you know my first name is Lawrence?"

[stories-sometimes]

Taking Him Down (1/?)

Steve Rogers x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: Cop!Steve Rogers works with the mob boss’s daughter to take him down.

Word Count: 1917

Masterlist

He had to make sure none of his colleagues ever found out. It wasn’t allowed, he had been taken off the case. But when has that ever stopped him before. A more corrupt captain replaced him, one who worked with Birling too closely. Everyone else was too far up that man’s ass to try to stop him. So that’s why he was waiting in a secluded corner of a sketchy dive bar on the outskirts of town for Birling’s daughter to show up - the only other person who wasn’t trapped in his pocket of influence.

“Rogers.” She finally greeted him. She always looked weird to him, not in a bad way, it was just that she had such an innocent face, as though she didn’t belong to the world she was born into. However if you noticed her for long enough you could see the darkness in her eyes or the little scars across her knuckles from years of fighting. She intrigued him.

“Took you long enough.” He replied as he sipped on his whiskey.

“Do you want my help or not?”

“You know I do, just sit down.” She did, instantly grabbing his drink and finishing for herself. “You could’ve just asked you know.” She sneered at him.

“I can find someone else to help me, push it too far and I’ll leave and take all my information with me.”

“I’m your best option.” He snapped back.

“Unfortunately.” She sighed as she reached down into her bag to pull out a series of files. “There’s a massive shipment of cocaine passing through here in a week, busting it will be a good place to start. If we frame it to look like the police captain was in charge of it my dad will lose faith in him. He’ll get more insecure, start second guessing everyone around him. After that we can start to cut off more and more of his ties until he’s vulnerable enough for us to really strike, take him down for good.”

“I doubt Birling’s gonna freak out that much if one shady police officer betrays him, he’ll just move onto the next easy to bribe guy on the force.” Steve stated. He’d seen this happen time and time again, for every one good cop in the city there were at least two secretly working for or along with the mob.

“Well then you obviously don’t know the first thing about their relationship.”

“Enlighten me.” He perked an eyebrow up.

“They go right back, they’ve been friends since the moment they were born. The captain only ever joined the force to help the mob, he’s the real number two of the whole organisation. I’ve seen how the two of them interact my entire life, if he trusts anyone, truly trusts them, it’s the Captain. He’s who we need to target.”

“Well other than you.” Steve said, looking closer at the files, exact, intricate details of Birling’s next heist.

“But he has to keep his faith in me. I would him no wrong.” She smiled sarcastically, barely concealing her disdain for the man.

“Of course not, you’re his precious little princess, ain’t that right sweetheart.” She wanted to wipe that smug look off his face, he loved to rub that fact in her face. That she had to keep up the act of Birling’s perfect daughter, the innocent face of an evil group.

“Don’t call me that.”

“What princess or sweetheart?” He was really pushing his luck.

“Either. Take a look over these, we’ll meet again tomorrow, bring your people.” Steve nodded. He went back to his flat, continuing to flick through the pages and pages she’d prepared. She was smart, he could be sure of that, the plans were solid and so were the people he was bringing onto this job. 

The next day she walked into Steve’s apartment. Behind her stood a fiery looking redhead who had the same stoic look as others who’d grown up in the mob.

“Natasha Romanoff, she’s part of the shipment, she’s gonna be our girl on the inside.” She introduced the two of them.

“Nice to meet you.” Steve said, stepping forward to shake her hand.

“Pleasure’s all mine.” Natasha smirked back at him, a slight smirk on her painted red lips.

“She’s the one of the best agents I’ve ever seen, if anything goes wrong she’ll be the one to drag whoever your guys are out of the situation.”

“Trust me sweetheart, my guys are perfectly capable.”

“Well are you ever gonna show me them?” She asked. He nodded quickly, leading the two women further into his apartment. They were met with the sight of two men bickering on Steve’s sofa, they soon stopped upon seeing the others, standing to attention.

“This is Bucky and Sam, they’ll pose as the buyers. Both are well trained soldiers and spies.” The two men stepped forward to shake her hand, Sam’s gaze lingering on her for longer than Steve liked. He shook the thoughts out of his head, he had to stay focused on the case, he couldn’t let himself get sidetracked at all. 

“So, let’s go over the plan one last time.” She instructed them as she pulled out all the visual information for the plan. “Natasha’s going to be with Birling’s men, she’ll keep us updated, inform us if anything goes wrong. Sam and Bucky will be posing as the buyers, they’ll wait by the west side of the pier, when you guys meet up Nat will send me and Steve the signal. I’ll tip off the captain saying a rival mob has a deal going on. When the police bust the sale Steve will go to pick up you three. Nat, you then tell Birling about the captain breaking up the big deal, he’ll confront him, breaking ties with the police.“

“What if the captain tells your father you tipped him off?”

“Like my dad would believe I would ever do such a thing to him.” She smiled, purposely making herself appear more innocent. “Memorise these.” She handed them each a file switching back to her more authoritarian look. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have dinner with my dearest father. You coming Nat.” With that they left leaving the other rereading the plan, ensuring that it was ingrained in their brains.

“Wouldn’t mind taking her out to dinner.” Sam said offhandedly earning himself a subtle glare from Steve.

“Keep it professional Wilson.” He replied, feeling oddly protective over her.

“Course I will, but who knows. If she’s interested, who am I to deny her a date. Dinner, a movie, a nice walk through a park, end it with a few rounds between the sheets and those goddamn thighs, sounds like a perfect night.” Sam wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Steve scowled at him, hating the way it was making him feel. They were working together and that’s all it should be, mixing business and feelings during this gig would be a mistake, it could only end in smoke - that’s what Steve thought at least. But he’d be damned if he let anyone else try to get with her. 

“Just read these, we can’t fuck this up. You gotta think with your head and not with dick.” Sam’s only reply was a smirk.

“Darling, how are you?” Birling said as she sat down at the dinner table.

“Hey dad, I’m doing good.” She said, fading back into the sugary sweet act she held around her father.

“Did you book that hotel for next week?”

“I did. But why do I have to be gone next week? I was thinking of meeting with some friends.” She asked, pretending to be clueless of the reason he was trying to get rid of her for a while, he always wanted to keep her away from the crime, at least it gave her a good alibi.

“Just thought you should have a break from the city.” He responded. She nodded, throughout the night she tried to pry little pieces of information out of him, but in the end it was useless.

Steve on the other hand left for the police station, he knew there was some evidence against Birling hidden away somewhere in the precinct. He rooted around the evidence locker, the captain purposely mislabel pieces of evidence so it would have to be disregarded. If he could get it and correct it he could pin it on the captain, more reasons for Birling to lose trust in him.

“Rogers.” He heard his name and froze in his tracks.

“Captain.” He answered, keep calm he thought, don’t slip up.

“What are you doing here so late?”

“Just finishing of a case, just that mugging you assigned me.” He picked up the bag he had left in here earlier. The captain seemed to buy it.

“Good work.”

The next day she was back in Steve’s apartment (although it was currently only her and Sam in home) hitting the punching bag he had hung up.

“Why aren’t you wearing gloves?” He pointed to her hands, only a flimsy layer of bandages protecting her hands.

“I wanna feel it. Get my anger out properly.”

“Wanna practice with me?” He asked, placing some pads on his hands. “I always get more anger out if I’m punching somebody else.”

“Sure.” She shrugged, turning and switching to punching Sam’s hands. He was right it helped and the little jokes cheered her up a bit.

“Come on, is that all you’ve got. Harder!” Sam said after a while.

“Oh you like it hard.” She teased.

“You know it, I like it hard and rough. If these isn’t a few bruises after what’s the point.” She blushed a little at his answer, pushing any thoughts of that out of her head.

“Good to know.”

“What about you?” The punching had all about stopped by now.

“What about me?”

“How do you like it?” He enjoyed the deeper shade of red her cheeks turned.

“At the moment I definitely need it nice and hard.”

“Good to know.” He echoed her word, moving closer to her, wrapping a hand around her waist. The other went to cup her cheek making her giggle.

“You should probably take the pads off first.” He laughed along with her as he quickly took them off, throwing them to the other side of the room. He raised his now bare hands.

“Better.” She nodded, lightly biting her lip. He leaned down to lock lips with her. Quickly he deepened the kiss, running his tongue along her bottom lip, she immediately allowed him access, opening her mouth so he could slide it in. They carried on like this until they heard a not-so-subtle cough from beside them. “Steve.” She said sounding shocked, feeling oddly guilty after being caught. She was allowed to kiss Sam, there was no reason she should feel so bad as Steve kept his eyes locked on her.

“Wanted to tell you I got the milk.” He said awkwardly. He walked out of the room.

“Alright man.” Sam replied.

“Steve! Wait!” She shouted, pulling out of Sam’s grasp. “Steve, I can explain, I -”

“It’s fine,” He interrupted her, although his clenched jaw suggested he thought otherwise. “Just make sure that doesn’t interfere with taking Birling down.” He didn’t like the way he felt when he saw her kissing Sam. He didn’t like the proud look on Sam’s face when he pulled away. He definitely didn’t like the idea of her being anyone else’s.

[selenelavellan]

For the Unusual Inheritance meme, 8, 9, or 10?

10. “you died and left me on the hook for a hereditary marriage contract”

how could I not

The Evanuris family is based on @feynites writing.

Selenehesitates, standing still in the late afternoon heat before twoover-sized and over-decorated wooden doors. The imagery bears aresemblance to some of the stories she's grown up with, of gods andtricksters and cities in the sky, but it still feels just slightlyoff. Like some version of herpeoples pantheon has been bastardized for the sake of some weird formof propaganda.

Surely, asign of good things to come, shethinks sarcastically.

Shepresses the almost hilariously small in comparison doorbell, andwaits.

Herfather had been a pain in the ass in life; somehow it seems onlyfitting that he continue the trend after his death. Selene had nearlytrekked back to Var Bellanaris to dig him up and turn him to ashherself when they had uncovered his lingering debts. Some remnantfrom Elrogathes days before he joined clan Lavellan; when he wasstill young, and hot tempered, and impulsive. When he had promisedhis first born in some ridiculously long contract to what is, to thebest of her knowledge, some sort of mob-like family.

Notthat he had ever toldher about it.

Twentythree years and never so much as a 'hey, you should probably know Itraded you for an apprenticeship once, so that might come back aroundfor you one day. Sorry!'

Witha little luck, these people will see what a ridiculous idea ahereditary marriage contract is, and she can go on with her life.

Thedoors swing inward, revealing an older elven woman with bright yelloweyes and well-earned wrinkles in her brow, who looks at her asshrewdly as if she were some sort of unwelcome dog defecating on herporch.

“Hello,”Selene tries anyways. “I'm here because of a contract my fathersigned around thirty years ago. If I could just get the head of thefamily to sign off that it's forgiven, I can go ahead and get out ofyour hair.”

Thewoman's countenance changes immediately as she holds out a handexpectantly. Selene quickly rifles through her bag and pulls out theslightly crumpled bundle of papers to deposit them in theoutstretched palm. She shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot while theolder woman skims through the papers before clicking her tongue.

“You'reElrogathes child?”

“That'scorrect.”

“Youare late,” She tsks, motioning for Selene to finally enter themansion. She presses a button in the entryway, and moves further intothe house. “Half of my children are already married. You will haveto marry one of my sons. Do you have any siblings?”

“No,but-”

“Ashame, but one we will contend with.”

Selenecan hear the shuffling of footsteps as they come to a stop at thebase of a large staircase, the motifs from the door clearly carriedthrough to the interior decorations, and she turns to the olderwoman, with a slight note of panic in her voice. “So-here's thething, I don't want to marry any of your kids.”

Thewoman raises one perfectly groomed eyebrow up as she glances up at Selene, the look from theirfirst meeting bleeding back into her expression.

“Notthat I mean any disrespect,” Selene quickly backpedals. “I'm surethey're grea-er, fine.But I don't have anything to offer you. There's no money, my wholeinheritance was this ridiculous marriage contract so really, its abad business decision on yourend to carry it out, if you think about it. How about instead oftying one of them down to some unknown dalish girl, I just pay forlike, a year of membership to a professional dating service. What doyou say? IHarmony? OKMythal?” the sound of footsteps is gettinglouder now, whoever she called nearly upon them. Her voice cracks asshe continues her plea “...AndrastianMingle?”

Threemore elves descend down the stairs. One has arms covered in ornatelydone tattoos that resemble the wings of an owl, with thick rings laidover most of his fingers. Long blonde hair that is currently pulledover his shoulder, covering a part of his leather jacket andfake-faded band tee. His eyes remind Selene of the elven woman stillstanding beside her, though the lecherous feeling he leaves as theyrake over her form are more reminiscent of the wolves in the woodsback home. The next has shorter black hair, floofed up slightly ontop of his head, and has most of his skin hidden beneath what looks toher to be a suit jacket hastily thrown over a pair of high-endpajamas. The third is practically lounging over the shoulder of thesecond, his own hair long and sleek and black, skin peppered withfreckles and a slightly bent nose, staring at her expectantly.

Theolder woman next to her makes a shooing motion at the third man, whomakes a dramatic pout before skipping down the remaining stairs andstanding just behind Selene. She has the distinct impression thathe's staring at her ass and legs, but her already heightened anxietyin the situation is preventing her from speaking up about it.

“Selene,these are my sons,” the woman states, gesturing to the two elvenmen still on the staircase. “Falon'din, and Dirthamen. One of themwill be your husband.”

“I'lltake her,”The blonde one speaks, pretending to seem disinteresteddespite the fact that his eyes haven't left her since he entered. “I'm the oldest, and the old man keeps bitching about me settlingdown anyways. Those legs open, right?”

Selenesshoulders raise at his comments, her own impulsiveness finallybreaking through her wall of nerves. “Not for you! No one is'taking' me!” She turns to the woman beside her, glaring down infull fury. “This whole situation is ridiculous; I'm not marryingyour sons because of some awful contract my awful father signedbefore I was even conceived! I do not know them, and I will not bespending my life with someone whom I have never even had aconversation with! Whatever game you may think this is, I'm notplaying it!”

Theman behind her snickers, and she thinks for a moment she sees himgive a thumbs up to someone.

“...Isuppose it is unfair to make you choose when you have no priorknowledge of my children,” The woman relents. “Very well. Youwill stay with us for a month, and in that time you will get to knoweach of my sons. At the end of the month you will make your decision,or I will find another way for you to repay your fathers debts; wecould always use more 'helping hands' at the Tevinter estate.”

Thewoman dismisses herself without another word, leaving Selene alone atthe bottom of the staircase with the men of the family.

“I'mimpressed you got so much wiggle room,” The freckled man behind herspeaks up. “Mythal's not really known for leniency.”

“Sure,'wiggle room',” Selene gripes. “Marriage to a stranger orenslavement; such great options, really. Who could resist.”

Theman snickers again, tossing an arm over her shoulders. “You'regonna be fine,” he assures her. “My names Des, and I think we'regonna be great friends. Word of advice though? Try not to spend toomuch alone time with Falon'din; he really isthat bad.”

“Fuckyou!” The blonde yells, quickly hopping down the stairs andgrabbing Selenes ass through her pants before making an approving noise.

Sheslaps the hands of both men away, and starts walking backwardstowards the doorway she came in from; maybe if she just runs,they won't be able to follow her. But as she does, she finds herselfstopped by another form behind her, as two dark hands settle over herhips.

Shescreams, flames igniting around her as she spins to light up the newstranger. The shorter, older man grabs her wrist before she cansummon a true fireball and laughs, seemingly thrilled by this turn ofevents.

“SPLENDID!”He announces. “WHAT WONDERFUL FLAMES! AND CHILD BEARING HIPS-YOU'LL MAKE A FINE ADDITION TO THE FAMILY! PLEASE; IF THERE ISANYTHING I CAN DO TO ENDEAR YOU TO MY SONS, DO NOT HESITATE TO ASK!”

“...Youcould let me leave,” Selene tries, pulling her wrist out of hisgrip.

Hefrowns at that, and shakes his head before booming “YOU HAVE NOTEVEN SHARED DINNER WITH US! WE ARE NOT SO STRANGE; EXCEPT PERHAPSDIRTHAMEN, BUT YOU WILL COME TO LEARN OF SUCH THINGS YOURSELF! TELL ME SELENE;HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOU HOPE TO HAVE?”

Twosurprisingly strong hands grasp onto the sides of her shoulders, andguide her through the living room and towards the kitchen. She turnswith pleading eyes towards the only person still around who hasn'ttouched her against her will, and mouths a silent 'HELP ME'to the dark haired, silent elfstill standing on the stairs. His brow furrows, and a moment later heis gone, Des chasing after him.

Well,she thinks. This is hell. My father died and dragged me tohell with him.

Asshole.