#i have art block… on a once ler shitpost

[bbq-hawks-wings]

A letter of thanks from a Christian to Tumblr.

Hmm, not the kind of post I ever really thought I'd make or put here, but here goes. Big promise that it's just what it says on the tin and I'm not here to try and convince anyone to join my religion or anything - I really, really just actually want to say thank you to everyone I've met and interacted with on this Hellsite (affectionate)™ and tell you what you mean to me.

I was raised in a Christian household, have studied my religion all my life, and I've been a practicing Christian ever since I've been able to properly claim it for myself as opposed to it being just a worldview and set of habits my parents instilled in me. I don't talk about it much here - usually because I don't believe it's relevant to know and it's not what people come to my blog for to begin with. Not to mention that I admit I also sometimes struggle to have patience with someone who's "belligerently Christian" and am of the opinion that there's nothing wrong with telling people you're a Christian or even sharing your faith, but I don't think it's doing anyone any favors to badger another person about it.

I am not seeking to make "being a Christian" my personality but for it to instead be a clear set of expectations others can confidently have regarding the makeup of my character and my worldview when I publicly claim it - namely that I am at least compassionate, kind, gentle, and generous to any given person I come across because I am a mere human made in the image of God like anyone else, just to name a few important qualities. I take my representation of my faith seriously because I know that when I claim to be a Christian I'm being an ambassador for God, and when I become aware of when and how I've failed to uphold that I don't really know how to explain the shame I feel about it. I may have God's forgiveness for it, but nonetheless I still owe my fellow humans an apology - so I'm sorry for when I've failed to present myself as I ought to and instead chose to do what I wanted in the moment.

One last paragraph about myself before getting to the actual "thank you" part - this post admittedly stems from a restlessness and grief I've been going through for years. Most of that comes from current events and things happening the world around me as well as how the workings of the internet have changed since the many years I've been here. Yet, even when other internet spaces have become too much and too scary for me to enjoy much anymore, Tumblr is always a little different.

Some of that may come from the culture Tumblr is saturated with even long past the days of Superwholock and Once-ler and beyond, and it has so much less to do with any fandom or any interest or topic that finds its way here than it does with the people who are here.

Yes, you, little soul, make this place special and even safe for me by just being you.

I love your art

I love your writing

I love your tips for hobbies and skills

I love your shitposts

I love your hyperfixations

I love your open dialogue in any given post

I love your Tiktoks and Twitter and Reddit screenshots

I love your fandom ramblings and media analysis

I love Tumblr pvp

I love your attitude of inclusivity and love for others

I love that you fight to keep the romanticism of mundane life alive

I love the sense of community that hasn't faded here like other places I've seen even if a bunch of us don't talk anymore

You're just here being you, and when I get to watch you being you in all your glorious, unhinged mania how can I not love you for it?

Yes, even the ones who I've blocked or who've blocked me. The Bible says that even when we were enemies of God He still loves us, and knows us, and seeks after us personally, and sent Jesus to die on our behalf - therefore Christians, seeking to be more like Jesus, should love even their enemies. Perhaps we can't agree enough on literally anything to be civil with each other, but that doesn't change that even they are individuals with everything that comes with being a person. Remembering that, it doesn't take much for me to love them, too, and let them be on their way with God's grace chasing after them.

At least that's how I see it.

When all the rest of the world would seem to have me believe that there is nothing to be had of strangers but fear and nothing to expect of friends but disappointment, somebody will reblog a video of a frog they found from someone I've never met and it's just the most wonderful little video a stranger could give me or a moot could share.

When I come here it's easy to find someone I've never met and know nothing about but still love them and know there's so much more to them as a person I don't see and want the best for them. Whatever differences we have doesn't immediately put me on edge like it does in other places. We both know who we are here on tumblr.dot.com in the year of our lord 2023, and it's nothing to brag about or try to make something of yourself about. It's not really like that anywhere anymore - not even in the real world - and it's SO liberating to not have BE anyone or anything here except myself and what I choose to put here.

I'll have my less-than-flattering things to say about some of the changes and features on the site, but even the waves of new people with different habits from a different era of the internet coming here give me a sense of hope and an enthusiasm for my fellow humans. Yes, now I'm exposed to "brands" and "personalities" and more and more Tumblr is trying to get access to my wallet; but I feel surrounded by real people here - people I can't see and haven't met face-to-face, yet I can and do still know them; and so many of you have extended the privilege of your friendship to me before I ever reached out to you.

As mentioned above, that looks like God's love. I've found it in some religious circles, but it's not always easy to find yet I find it here in droves even from people who unapologetically hate God, and that's far more of a comfort and treasure than might be expected.

I'm not of the impression that I've got any kind of extra love or attention coming to me over this, and that was never the intent. Quite the opposite, I wanted to make sure that those of you out there who see this know that you being here and what you are already doing is seen and appreciated deeply by someone who spends a lot of time and thought on the nature of love and how I can better love others in a world that's missing it so dearly - especially in light of the love that I've been shown first.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

[cupofteasant]