#i have another drawing im working on rn for her For HW !

[cccotard]

misc maples

[rose022]

some people just find it easier than others but you really dont have to know by 18. you dont. you have time to figure it out. you really do. everyone says you have to know when you graduate but its not true. you literally still have your whole life ahead of you at that point.

i personally have always wanted to be a teacher and i like languages and stuff so im going to teach people how to speak english. but i know not everyone is as lucky as i am to have this figured out already.

my oldest cousin didnt go to college and currently just works at a movie theater. my next cousin went to college for the same thing i want to but jusy ended up becoming a normal elementary teacher. my sister took a gap year and is now looking to buy houses and maybe room in with a friend and shes been working multiple jobs all the while, her currwnt of which has had her come home crying, and after this might go to college for business. my sister's old roomate did 1 semester at the local county college while staying with us then moved with her parents to go to the college they want for being a history teacher. my other friend (same age as sister and roomate) dropped out of high school and has been working at gamestop. my youngest cousin went straight to colleg for being a meteorologist.

my youngest coworker went to college to hw a veterinarian and did a few years working in a hospital before she couldn't handle it and now works at a chocolate shop with me. the second youngest im not sure where she went to college or if she did but she also ended uo working at the same place and draws and watches anime and plays games in her free time. my last coworker is my moms age and had kids yet also ended up working the same place as us.

and then, i just asked friends on snapchat. ill add to this as i get more responses but rn we have therapist. college for journalist but hopefully wrestler. "i wanna be rich" so real. gap year in alaska and florida then college for maybe film. and "idk i wish i did". from what i know personally i also have a friend who is going to go to college to be a veterinarian and another who will probably just go into the military and another that last time we talked wanted to maybe do either criminology or photography but didnt really know or have any plans.

i hope maybe all yhese accounts helped you a little to know to know that everyone is different. like yes a lot of them had an idea for college but some never went or like the one who dropped out i literally went to get mochi donuts and boba with yesterday and he paid. i dont really have advice for finding something youre passionate about, you really just have to look for and try knew things. but you dont have to go to college. for you, you could really just get your ged at a community college and have a job on the side. im lucky that my first real job is super relaxed and enjoyable but you dont always know if youll get that. and you dont even have to be all that passionate to make something your job. sure i like teaching and languages but idk. if i had a different job i wouldnt mind. its not like i love this stuff that much. regardless tho, i promise it will be okay.

how do you find something to be passionate about. how do you find something that you’re willing to dedicate your life to. how do you pick a career that won’t make you want to die every time you clock in. how do you figure your shit out before you even turn 18. i don’t get it. how.

[gureishi]

OkAY SO HELLO AGAIN

my cat Tiko is EXTREMELY VOCAL to the point where he gets on my nerves almost every day. HES MEOWUNG HIS HEAD OFF RIGHT NOW LIKE BRO WTH I JUST GAVE YOU SOME ATTENTION

my mom's better at handling him than i am. im just way too easily irritated. AND LIKE he doesnt just!!! come over to me or my mom for attention! like bro you can just chill on my lap u know and i'll give u attention buT NOPE.

jdvdhsj okay sorry that turned into a mini rant

anyways sometimes i snap at him or even slam on the table (to make noise) to get him to be quiet (thats like, when im in school or trying to focus on hw, art, or writing -- or otherwise not in a position to get up and give him attention). doesnt always work lol... but i just get so frustrated. and i always feel bad but i honestly cant help it; i have a bit of a short fuse, at least when it comes to irritation (rather than anger). occasionally i pretend to through like, an eraser at him, but thats not as common.

so i guess im just wondering how saeyoung would react in those cases? especially the first ones. and i suppose this could get a lil angsty... i only say that because i can feel rn that i would probably feel so guilty for behaving that way in front of someone other than my mom.

it also has to do with that "getting stuck" thing. its hard to actually get up and move sometimes. AND IM ALSO A HUMAN WHO HAS THINgs to do and i cant always entertain Tiko just because he's bored or thinks something is wrong just because we've been sitting in one place for more than 2 hours and appearing to not do anything... smh

msvdjsbsj gosh this is probably so weird and specific lolol sorry 😅 but it is an almost daily thing for me.

and gosh this whole thing probably makes me sound like a monster 😭😭 if it means anything, i would never actually hurt him :(( and i never have in the 10 years we've had him. i just get frustrated so easily and his meow is very loud and sorta high pitched and piercing and persistent... sighh

[417]

You certainly do not sound like a monster! As I’ve told you, we are constantly whining at the dog because he is so very loud (and yes, we should train him better, and we’ve tried, but he is also anxious and my street is very chaotic 😭)

So anyway: I very much get it ❤️❤️❤️

Hmmmmmm what to call this...?

Saeyoung with an MC who gets annoyed at her loud cat

Everyone knows Saeyoung loves cats. What you also know, of course—and what he sometimes forgets—is that he doesn’t actually know anything about cats.

He is startled by the meowing, at first. He is fascinated with your cats: he thinks they are beautiful and charming and adorable and perfect in every way (much like you). He didn’t really expect them to be loud, though. 

His first instinct, of course, is to meow back. He has endless energy to play with the cats—after all, he hasn’t grown up with them, and he only sees the things that are exciting. And of course, they will end up in a long conversation, Saeyoung and the cat. Lots of meowing. Very vivacious meowing.

And look, if you’re in the right headspace for it, it’s pretty cute. He really just wants the cats to understand him. He wants to be their friends. (He wants to make sure he has their blessing to be with you, but that’s another story altogether.)

But if you’re not in the right headspace—you’re working, or writing, or drawing, and need some peace and quiet—it’s not so cute anymore.

It’s automatic: the cat meows, and you snap in response. You’re frustrated; you’re trying to focus, and the incessant noise pushes you over the edge.

And that startles Saeyoung, too. He’s never heard you snap like that before.

Immediately, you feel terrible—you’re hit with a huge wave of guilt. And it is double guilt, because he is here, and you love him, and you don’t want him to think badly of you. 

And you love your cat, of course. You didn’t mean to snap the way you did; you don’t want this beloved boy to think you are a horrible, cat-hating monster.

A moment ago, you rose out of your seat. Now, you sit back down slowly. You don’t really want to meet his eyes.

“Sorry,” you mutter. Your face feels hot. “I didn’t mean...”

He doesn’t say anything right away, and you can feel his eyes on you. You feel like you might cry. Oh, you think—he hates you now.

And the cat is meowing again, because of course he is.

“Hey.” Suddenly, Saeyoung is in front of you. He’s jumped up onto the table and pushed your work to the side—he’s peering down, trying to look in your eyes. “What’s wrong?”

You put your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that,” you say into your hands. “Don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Gentle, rough fingers on your face—and he’s tilted your chin up so you can’t help but look him in the eye. Ah, and for a moment you are lost there, as you so often are: his gaze is soft, and bright, and intense—once you are looking, it is impossible to look away.

“It was loud,” he says. “I get it. But why are you...?”

He cups your cheeks in both hands. And he probably shouldn’t be sitting on the table, but—but—his hands are warm and he is looking down at you with such deep affection in his eyes. 

“I got frustrated,” you tell him. “But I didn’t want to—I shouldn’t—act that way in front of you.”

His eyes widen. You didn’t expect him to be surprised, but he is—and he is blushing, which seems strange.

“You were trying to—?” He shakes his head, like he doesn’t quite understand. “Okay. Here’s what you have to know.”

He is still holding your face. And this is fine—you could feel his hands on your cheeks forever and it wouldn’t be enough.

“I love you,” he says firmly. “You...know that part, right?”

You laugh—perhaps a little wetly. You do know.

“My love is not conditional,” he continues. You take a shaky breath. “I love you when you’re happy and energetic. I love you when you’re working hard and focusing. I love you when you’re sad and need comfort. I love you when you’re irritated, or frustrated, or angry,” he says.

It is a flood of words, and they wash over you like a rushing river. Your heart is racing.

“You don’t have to act any way around me,” he tells you. “That’s part of the deal.”

The cat is meowing again, but you hardly hear him. Absently, you reach over and pet him. Saeyoung grins.

“And you love your cats,” he adds. “And I know you’d never hurt them just because you’re upset.”

You nod. It’s true. You wouldn’t.

“C’mere?” he asks. He holds out his arms and—oh, he is still sitting on the table, but—you stand, falling into him, resting your head on his chest. He wraps both his arms around you and squeezes you tight.

“You know the same goes for you, right?” you mumble, your voice muffled by his t-shirt. He giggles at the way you sound and presses his lips to the very top of your head.

“No matter what?” he asks. 

“Of course.”

He meows.

Oh, and he is meowing at the cat again: back and forth, as if they are chatting about the weather.

“Saeyoung!” 

You pull back and he smiles apologetically. “Still love me?”

You roll your eyes. You pet the cat. You pet his head.

You do: of course you do. Unconditionally.

[fairielust]

ahhhhhh ahh ahhhh

ok omg y’all today wasn’t that bad as i thought it would be

so we walk into class n before i could stop myself i just had 2 show the instagrams of these two people from this japanese reality show wisteria got me into n this particular pairing are super cute n both wisteria n i love them lmao

which turns into a whole twenty minute conversation about who we like / dislike, showing the class the other people from said show’s instagrams, n pointing out particular moments we’ve seen lmao it was great

then wisteria gets us to do some work n it’s all fine until she randomly starts laughing to herself five minutes later ??? it was pretty creepy n she shows us what she was laughing at,,, these old photos of us from year 9 that she’s saved to ‘identify’ us when recording marks n stuff eW

for some reason my name had a keyboard emoji next to it ? n another girl had a music stave thing besides hers ? i mean, we both did music at the time but it was really weird lmAo tf @ wisteria

thankfully we did not get into any kind of speaking practice, just going through comprehension questions n then going through all the grammar for the unit which is always a delight.

@ the end of class the rest of the girls left the room without waiting for me which was absolutely perfECT bc i could easily give wisteria this drawing i’ve done for the class (but mostly 4 her) so i kept saying sensei n held the drawing before her waiting bc she was looking @ something on her laptop n when she finally looked up she full on gasped n said ‘suGOII ??!?!?!?’ which is amazing in japanese n she kept repeating that n i was blushing @ this point but trying to play it cool (?) (‘ahaha yeah it only took me 5 hours nbd ahaHAHA’) i told her it was for her n she tried identifying everyone but couldn’t recognise herself bc she forgot what she wore on the day lmAo (yet she easily pointed me out asdfghjk my heart)

n she said ‘arigatou gozaimasu’ in the softest voice ever n i wanted 2 cry it was so sweet n honestly even if i didn’t love her the way i do rn i would still be a miserable mess bc this ?? is all i’ve ever asked for ??? for my own god damn artworks to bring smiles to people’s faces ??!?!?! i love that !!!! a kink(TM) !!! then i told her to have a nice weekend bc it’s the long weekend now n she said you too as i was walking out n i just,, heart sigh

then @ lunch i went to the library bc my friends were studying 4 a religion test they had on n it was cold n i wanted to finish the last of my etching for art later this afternoon n wisteria was on duty n she came over bc i was sitting w another group of friends of mine n she was impressed w my etching before she pointed out the wall (with a suspicious ‘is that a wAll i sEE’) n i laughed n told her it was n she reminds me of her crazy wall photo collection which i asked if she could share bc i need more photos lol

one of my friends asked if we could go back to japan bc she obviously had a great time w us hEhe

n then she tells us this story that happened to her yesterday,, apparently this year 7 brat was misbehaving n when wisteria called her out she said her class was boring. now, im glad i contained my emotions bc inside i was FUMING like ?? how daRE YOU ?? SAY WISTERIA’S CLASS IS BORING YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT ??? FUCK RIGHT OFF W THAT BULLSHIT this is why everyone hates wisteria bc she’s either bitchy or they can’t be bothered to try in japanese like wtf ?? i was super pissed that frustrated me sm ://

when the bell rang 4 next class i had my class in a room in the library n wisteria was just standing there,,, n i was just standing inside the room looking like a creep watching her,,, before i ran out n called her n asked about what was happening w our 1:1 sessions. she said she still had to check our timetables against one another, either for a study or for lunch. ahhhhhhhh !!!

today was such a great day i was shocked.

then in eng ex I, our teacher was away n there was only a few of us n we ended up talking about random stuff. i decided to do japanese hw bc i was not in the mood to write anything essay wise n the other girls got curious n tried recognising a few characters n i was lowkey proud of them for remembering stuff from year 7 ahh !!! it was a lot of fun being able to show my love for japanese !!!

this is completely irrelevant but my art teacher brought in her little son today 2 workshop n he’s only 4 but he’s stomping around the classroom n smiling n laughing n being cheeky n touching my bracelet n it was just,,, so pure. my teacher was like, ‘so do you want to take him home ? he’s a monster, i’m telling you,’ n i just,,, really want kids one day but i don’t want to be the one giving birth bc i’m weak asf but i do want to have kids despite their troubles idc !!! this was just so cute !!!

ahh ok i’m gonna work hard on speaking this weekend bc our first lesson back to school is double japanese n i bet you we’ll actually be doing speaking then smh