#i have adhd & also also school is kicking my ass rn

[rtgame-fun-facts]

RTGame Fun Fact #15

RT is 100% a licensed doctor & surgeon. you can 100% trust him to operate on you.

[jaydenspace]

seasonal depression is kind of kicking my ass rn.

i am fighting so hard to stay positive. we’re short staffed at work and it has been stressful and exhausting.

managing school around a full-time job is tiring. i wish i could just go to school full-time and get it over with. i have been in community college for five years (!!!!!) and i’m burning out. i am starting to feel really discouraged.

on the other hand, sometimes i wish i could take a break from school. if i could pick up some overtime at work, i’d be able to pay off this fucking credit card and save up for a car faster. everything would be more manageable if i didn’t have to walk everywhere all the time. on top of having a very physically demanding job. my body hurts. i’m tired. but if i’m not in school, they make me start paying the loans which i also just…cannot afford.

my adhd medication doesn’t seem to be working very well lately. maybe it’s the depression. my bipolar hasn’t flared up in this direction for a few years (thanks to mood stabilizers, i’m usually just hypomanic now), so i’m wondering if this makes the stimulant less effective or something.

can i just catch a fucking break? can something just be easy?? or convenient for me?? for once???

sorry i’m whining. thanks for listening.

[fungalscourge]

thoughts

ep 200 of tma is so fucking anticlimactic

trying to be quiet at night is crazy bc all of a sudden regular ass activities will induce ear shattering decibels why is pens deafening me rn

god i love smoking but i hate smoking im so congested all the tymeeeee 😵‍💫 but the world is evil so we stay partying ifg .

i really dont fw new year’s resolution but i do believe in the distinction between years and the power that holds and boy i am excited to leave 2023 behind this messy miserable year kicked my ass and i just want peace 2024 i believe in you and i want to be better. i want to cook more and make art every day and move and stretch and dance and walk and run and swim and sing and figure out how to sing alongside my dropping voice although it hurts i continue to find myself i continue to find truth and love and confidence in places i didnt expect and as much as they hurt and haunt me and have left very real long term scars i have learned so many lessons from so many people this year and i know it comes from a privileged and naive place to expect things to magically get better but i have hope for change and for the dedication towards it to drive me, at whatever pace that ends up being. i can only control what i can and its not worth worrying about things i dont have volition over. i want to grow plants (of many kinds 🥰🤫) and i want to NOT fucking become an alcoholic once the shackles of youth have lifted at long last. there is no turning back now ! ! i am curious to see how my journey unfolds and i hope to see my behaviors align more with that of someone who actually wants to stay alive and do the most that they can with the little time theyve been given

man adhd is crazy i keep oversleeping and not taking my meds but when im medicated im so normal so thats also a big goal is taking meds more consistently omg that reminds me…

i got a new beautiful big sketchbook and im all scared to use it which is why im rambling and i opened the sketchbook bc i paused TMA bc imhalfway through the final episode and dont want it to be over i hate the empty feeling after finishing a media ive been intaking for a while

does the feeling that youre forgetting something ever go away? its been lingering ever since high school . my nose is running . i know to anybody else this is probably boring but im actually the most interesting person in the world. thats not true. but im interesting enough. more than plenty of the creatures out there, i guess. oh my back hurts. liquid veins liquid lungs liquid lies gooodnight

[i-am-focused]

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'LL POST ABOUT THEM even though no one asked

okay so i've been gone for... a bit. But it's cause I have a hyperfixation on this fuckin' cod oc that I made cause my friend also made one that is his special interest and we wanted them to be gay and we wanted to rp them. so yeah, that's where i've been and thats where i'm at. Okay, so i assume cause i'm doing this my friend will post his as well, so im gonna mostly focus on fly (his life) and his relationship with shark.

DISCLAIMER: we fucked these guys up, like big time, they are so mega traumatized and not just cause of the military. a lot of the stuff in fly's backstory is stuff i have experience with but honestly he just kept getting more fucked up over time cause the issues kept building on eachother and woof. damn. anyway, tw for sh, suicide, addiction, and just like, unhealthy shit.

Pt 1. FLY

okay so, his name isn't actually fly, its Jamie Flynn but that's his callsign. The callsign came from 3 things, his speed/difficulty when it comes to getting caught, his perspective on situations is a lil different, and his last name is Flynn so its that shortened.

RAPID FIRE INFO: Alright, so he's irish, hes got the ginger goin on cause i had to yk. he was raised in Dublin but his voiceclaim is hozier (normal speaking voice) cause i cannot be that stingy about accents rn. He is currently a Sergeant in the 141, youngest member according to hc and canon calculations. He's 25 and only recently joined, prior to that he was in the Irish military from the end of highschool till now. He's gay, he's cis, he has ADHD, he had a rough childhood (we'll get into that later), he is also 1 inch taller than ghost (6'5") and he's a demolition's expert amogst other stuff.

TRAUMA SHIT - so he has more recent issues but i'll start from the beginning, growing up he was in a not terrible family but his parents mostly ignored him and he sort of raised himself most of the time. He didn't have a ton of friends but he did have one named Ben. now, the issues REALLY kick in when he witnessed Ben get shot. This fucked him up and he didn't really have a support system and his parents weren't involved in his life so that grief and confusion and loneliness just sort of manifested as anger and poor behavior. he got in a lot of fights in highschool, he was a really tall kid back then but he got his ass beat a lot and his parents just made it worse cause they didn't want to deal with him and just yelled at him and stuff for it. eventually this became larger, criminal problems. he did do some drugs in highschool but nothing super super serious, but he did start hotwiring cars and going on joyrides, which got him arrested at the ripe old age of 16. His parents had just had his twin brothers at this point and didn't want him around or have to deal with him anymore after this so they passed him off to a family friend named Sean who was actually really good to Jamie. The first few months were rough and it almost seemed to get better but then Jamie's parents disowned him fr and he realized he was never going to be with his family before and it broke him. and here's were that tw comes in cause he did attempt by overdose. after that his relationship with sean improved, he went to therapy, he started boxing as an outlet, and he improved. He was by no means perfect, he was a C average student in school and he still got into fights but not nearly as frequent as before.

tldr: he's got abandonment issues, anxiety, depression stuff, and he turned out sort of okay? maybe? no that's a lie, you'll see.

MILITARY AND MORE TRAUMA - He joined the military out of highschool and after he had been there for a bit he decided to try training for demolitions cause Sean did construction demolitions and he always found it interesting. all was well for a while untill when he was 19 there was an exercise and things went VERY poorly, another trainee's device went off behind Jamie, it killed the trainee and left fly with a lot of very severe burns and scars on his back and other injuries that left him in a hospital for a few weeks. This left him out of commision for a while but he picked up again 6 months later and got back right where he left off, unfortunately he had developed a new issue. Oxycontin. it was perscribed to him for the pain during his recovery and they never stopped his prescrption because of his claims of long lasting pain. he was absolutely an addict for a couple years but he tried to quit and now while he still does take it, it is far less frequent and generally only when hes having some really really bad mental health issues, unfortunatley it does mean he combines it with alcohol. Anyway, he continued where he left off (just with some more issues) rising the ranks and gaining a rep until eventually he was recruited by the 141 task force.

Now how does all of this trauma affect him today? - welp. he doesnt maintain any close relationships, hasn't taken off his shirt in front of another person (unless forced or sedated) for 6 years, he has some pretty major anxiety problems, abuses substances to get through his hard times, severe intrusive thoughts, and has some genuinely awful intimacy/attachment problems. by that i mean he is still a virgin, never had a serious romantic relationship and keeps anyone (even sean) at an arms length. this includes shark, at least for some time.

see, he panics and has severe anxiety about allowing himself to get close to anyone, mostly cause he's got some past experiences that convince him that they'll leave again. so lets get into Shy.

SHY (shark and fly)

Shark, or Andy Lane, is another member of the 141, hes 29 and a Lieutenant. He is much closer with soapghost and everyone else in the 141 and has been there for a lot longer and has a romantic/platonic relationship with soapghost as well. He's autistic and hes got a lot of problems. he also has a service dog named Thresher who fly loves. anyway, so right off the bat, their relationship is gonna be genuinely awful for a very long time. We rp this, so no specific outcome is guaranteed but, yeah things are gonna be really bad i'm not gonna lie to you. they both have so many problems that collide in the worst ways possible. Fly has abandonment issues, Shark pulls away when things get super bad. Shark avoids his relationship problems, Fly cannot let things slide. Both of them are very secretive about their problems and its just not a healthy relationship.

So whats happened so far? well, honestly not a ton ig, they met, got off on the wrong foot cause Shark doesn't do well with unexpected meetings. they flirted a little bit, trained a tiny bit together, and then got sent on a really short mission. after that they sort of just saw eachother around, found out that both of them refuse to shower unless they're alone in the showers, and that's sort of it for the first couple months. After that they got sent on a extended mission, not goin into details of it cause truth is we just wanted to make them live in a house together for an extended period of time cause otherwise they prob wouldn't get to know eachother very much. so we put them in this house, they have a bunch of funny little quirks in their friendship that i'll talk about sometime in the future, and yeah. They chill. at one point fly gets a lil high on the weed and shark flirts with him which was a terrible plan cause it just makes fly a bit gay for shark. Then they watch the conjuring and fly is surprisingly terrible with horror movies so shark makes fun of him and then lets fly hold his hand for the rest of the movie which is cute. (this is just about as wholesome as their relationship has gotten/will get) and then more recently they went to a bar together, shark flirted with some people and a very drunk fly got real jealous and then they had a little confrontation in the bathroom and fly ended up kissing him :D so after that happened they talked about it a super tiny bit and then left it for weeks cause fly didnt know what to do and he was sort of confused by the whole thing. now, MOST RECENTLY and ongoing, fly was acting weird and shark noticed, he got defensive and then shark demanded some sort of explanation for why he was being a dick. fly sort of broke down and started getting really freaked out by the whole thing cause he genuinely has no idea how he feels about it and how to move forward. anyway, he cries, tells shark whats goin on, and shark talks to him, then flirts with him, then kisses him, and now they're making out in the kitchen. both of them trying not to freak out. So we have an outline, but i figure ill just give a monthly update on them or something cause this post is SO LONG OMG.

ill do another post with art cause i've been drawing them and i am way too proud of this borderline gay porn that i've drawn. anyway. yeah, i love them, i'm obsessed with them. i would love to be asked about them. i literally listen to their playlist all the time and yeah. swag. thanks for listening to this true nightmare of formatting.

[hiuythn]

do u have any krbk fics that u can rec? any favorites of urs! ☺️

you’re in luck bc i just made a rec list for a friend so i have this ready for you

also i’ve got over 200 krbk bookmarks on ao3 so feel free to check that out if you finish this rec list.

all (except one) of these are completed. they're in no particular order. i tried to find ones that are less known, bc idk how much you've read but i'm assuming all the popular ones are familiar to you. happy reading! 💖💖💖

Inevitable - Legendaerie - 8k - mature CLASSIC 'bkg thinks they've been together and kiri thinks he's still pining' TROPE. it's INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me why this doesn't have more fucking kudos!!! why!!!

Tiny Truths - Quirk Archivist (OneHitWondersAnonymous) - 4k - teen bkg gets de-aged. kid him reveals sth to class 1a, more imptly, to KIRI, abt some ideas about what it means to open a hero agency together. it's super adorable!!

Punch My Mouth with Your Mouth - QuestCat44 - 4k - teen bkg spars with deku more bc OfA is acting up and he's the only one in the know. kiri gets jealous but he's so good-natured that his jealousy is only bc he misses sparring/spending time with bkg. BKG, on the other hand, is worried kiri is mad for different reasons asdkjfhasdhfa

all according to keikaku........... - carolinaa - 8k - teen the title should already tell you how good this is. I LOVE JEALOUSY FICS WHEN THEY'RE MORE FUNNY THAN ANGSTY AND THIS IS SO FUNNY. kiri gets tired of deku being a pussy around todo and decides to flirt with todo to get deku jealous enough to do sth about it. bkg and todo are both horrified for VERY different reasons DHADSKDFHJS

doll me up - shizuumi151 - 6k - gen kiri gets turned into a doll by a kid's quirk and no one knows. bkg still ends up caring for him :’)

These Words Are Ours - deviance - 2k - teen soulmate au but bkg figures who's going to say his words before it happens, and honestly that's kind of the point. he's not the type to fall in love at first sight. he MAKES the choice to love kiri and that, my friends, is my kind of soulmate au.

all good things need sunshine - shizuumi151 - 3k - teen FLORIST KIRI. BKG WANTS A BOUQUET THAT SAYS  'FUCK YOU'

Flour Power - WingSongHalo - 26k - teen KRBK HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A BAG OF FLOUR AND PRETEND IT'S THEIR BABY

feedback loop - bigstupidjellyfish - 1k - teen PRO HERO BKG GETS THROWN BACK IN TIME FOR A BIT AND MEETS MIDDLE SCHOOL KIRI AND HE'S SO SOFT TO HIM ASDFHKASDFJ. i am a big fan of bkg being a fan of kiri. i can't get ENOUGH OF IT. can someone give me more fics like this

mixed signals - bigstupidjellyfish - 2k -teen a short 'what if' fic where kiri and bkg went to the same middle school. bkg's still an ass but kiri's still his equal it seems, and is just as good as handling him as ever

Trash Goblin Finds Love - wrunic - 4k - teen COFFEE SHOP AU. BARISTA   KIRI GETS SICK ONE TIME AND BKG MAKES HIM SOUP AND FORCES KIRI'S COWORKER TO DELIVER IT ASDJHFS

Dreaming of a White Mocha Christmas - let_me_wander - 8k - teen ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP AU.  BARISTA KIRI AND HIS FAV CUSTOMER ;) GET SNOWED IN  

Something Warm - let_me_wander - 15k - teen YES FOLKS IT'S A A A ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP FIC, THAT'S RIGHT!! BARISTA BKG THIS TIME. also kr is in a band and writes a song for bkg asdfhksjd

Kneel - deviance - 7k - explicit idk if you wanted explicit stuff but this is pretty light sub stuff, they're not even properly together at the beginning, and there isn’t sex til the end. i just liked how kiri is the only one bkg would rely on for sth this private, and it's more emotional than it is sexual?

Everyone Knows That Cats Are Independent - PurplePersnickety - 39k - teen YET. ANOTHER. COFFEE SHOP AU. but also?? daemons?? katsuki's got a lionness, and kiri has a...i'll let you find out. anyway they become closer and closer and closer and the flirting is so fucking excruciatingly obvious but cute and sdkjfhasdjs it's such a queer experience like 'is he...no he cant be...but what if he did like me - no that's not possible. but what if?' and they get so domestic sometimes i swear i'm about to puke from how cute it is. this is my fav coffee shop au ngl

Broken Bridges - DeathBelle - 68k - explicit plot fic!! krbk loses touch after gradutation. kiri comes back from korea and starts to work together with bkg, dealing with a series of murders and MAN the action is 👌 easy to follow but it hits all the beats, has that Flow. krbk being a power couple will never get old!!

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things - chezka - 56k - gen pretty sure you've seen this one around but STILL. BKG FALLING FOR 'GHOST' KIRI IS BEST. this au really takes FULL COMPLETE advantage of the fact that krbk CANNOT TOUCH and the yearning practically astral-projected me back into the my past life when i was a dung beetle that got crushed under the foot of an elephant. it hurt, basically. but it hurt so good. JUST LET BKG HUG KIRI!!! happy ending ofc.

Catching Bees - MonocerosRex - 2k - teen bkg has to pay his classmates compliments. class 1a hijinks. the krbk in this is short but it made me squeal sdhfkakjl

i'm going to the forest to kick my own ass - WannabeMarySue - 5k - teen TODO PRANKS BKG BUT UNLUCKY FOR HIM BKG IS COMPETITIVE AND ACTUALLY LEARNS SOMETHING

Hair Care 101 - overlymetaromantic - 7k - gen ASDHFASDFHAJKS KIRI MEETS BKG'S MOM BY ACCIDENT AND GETS HAIR HELP AND THEY TALK ABOUT BKG AND IT'S SO. CUTE. AND THEN BKG DYES KR'S HAIR IN THE SECOND CHAPTER AND THEY'RE SO BLUSHY AND SWEET I CAN'T!!

Sometimes We Fall in the Dark - timetoboldlygo - 16k - teen BKG TAKING PHOTOS OF THINGS FOR THERAPY. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT HOW YOU PHOTOGRAPH THINGS YOU TREASURE 👀👀👀

Corn Chip - smol_bird - 23k - teen I DONT FUCKIGN KNOW WHY THIS DOESN'T HAVE MORE KUDOS. IT'S LITERALLY SO GOOD. DEMON KIRI IS JOKINGLY SUMMONED BY BKG AND FRIENDS. THEY FALL IN LOVE. KIRI HAS TO LEAVE. BKG IS DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN. HAPPY ENDING. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FOR

'cause i love you for infinity - multiclassmaps - 23k - teen SDHFADSJFASD DEMON AU AGAIN. THIS TIME IT'S KIRI THAT DOES THE SUMMONING. BUT WHY DOES BKG SEEM SO FAMILIAR??? WHAT CAN KIRI DO TO MAKE HIM STAY??

to the beat of your heart - drifting_i - 8k - gen BAND AU. KIRI WORKS AT A RESTAURANT AND SOMEHOW BEFRIENDS DRUMMER BKG AND BKG'S BAND CAN'T BELIEVE THAT KIRI GETS AWAY WITH HALF THE SHIT BKG ALLOWS HIM TO

Playing Favorites - vaporeon_ninja - 2k - gen AKSDJFHJADHFKA BKG GETS CALLED OUT ON HIS KIRI FAVOURITISM

(Not Quite) Proposal - imatrisarahtops - 783 - teen DRUNK BKG IS SAPPY WITH HIS BOYF

something worth remembering - bbuggs - 1k - teen DRUNK BKG AGAIN!!! THIS TIME HE DOESN'T REMEMBER KIRI IS HIS HUSBAND AND HE'S SO DISTRAUGHT ABOUT KIRI BEING TAKEN SDFJHSK

A Dragon's Hoard - chezka - 10k - teen kiri gets turned into a dragon bc of a quirk. LOVE HOW DRAGON KIRI STILL LIKES BKG BEST

Love Notes - PurplePersnickety - 5k - teen LOVE NOTES BKG LEAVES LOVE NOTES FOR KIRI IT'S SO SWEET

Define: Oblivious - PurplePersnickety - 45k - teen this is the second part to Love Notes, it's still updating BUT PLEASE CHECK IT OUT TOO BC KIRI DOES STH SO BADASS DURING PRACTICAL TRAINING I LOVE HIM I REREAD THIS NOW AND THEN JUST FOR HOW COOL HE IS IN THAT ONE CHAPTER. also the steady, careful way krbk define their relationship and bkg's demisexuality is so sweet, so good.

The Hard Easy - dirtbag - 4k - teen this one is pretty popular but i still gotta mention it bc. kissing lessons. KISSING LESSONS!!! i love how eagar bkg is askdfhks

Kitsune's Pride - kytrin, Mslead - 147k - explicit okay this was A DOOZY like i???? the plot???? the time travel and the oni and kitsune stuff???? bkg and kiri being badasses??? bkg wanting the best for kiri and angrily supporting him??? this was the first time i kept up to date with a fic when it was still updating and commenting every chapte,r i was so hooked. and ALSO like the authors have written SO MUCH more longfics like this like they have NOVELS and i REALLY rec you check them out like....bro idk how they do they have so much out already and i think and they're updating two more rn and i'm. their bitch tbh

Burden of Proof - kytrin, Mslead - 153k - explicit OK ONE MORE REC FOR THESE AUTHORS. burden of proof is so. so fcukign good. i have adhd and these guys have never one lost me even tho their fics are upwards of 60k. this fic has dragons, it has plot, it has growth and healing and found families and i WISH i could write sth this intricate.

Burger Kings - plantegg - 5k - teen stupid teenage boys being stupid. kiri blackmails bkg into going on a date asjdfhkdsjfakd

Worth a Thousand Words - awareoftheconcept - 43k - teen SDKJFHASKH THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE OF MINE I KNOW THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION TROPE IS OVERUSED BUT I CAN'T HELP FALL FOR ANGSTY KIRI AND OMG THE CONFRONTATION SCENE AT THE END IS SO. SO. SO MOVIE-ESQUE I HATE HOW LAME I AM. basically everyone thinks bkg is dating camie asdkjfhskd

Day 6: Fandom - PullingAllMighters, SweetBrew - 9k - mature bkg and kiri don't know each other until they're pro heros and only bc they start a competition to see who's better and they go to each other's signings undercover and develop crushes on each other and deku is an enABLER ASHAHAJFS

Scales Ain't The Same As Feathers - Julietwasanidiot - 2k - gen GOD THIS IS SO CUTE BABY BKG "FINDERS KEEPERS" A BABY DRAGON KIRI SKDHFHD but he thinks kiri is a chicken

Charades - orphan_account - 4k - teen this is just soft....game night....at one point bkg acts out a really romantic word for charades and he's EMBARRASSED SDJFHA. also kiri falls asleep on him and there's some hair stroking....soft...

Cranky-rishima - PurplePersnickety - 29k - teen kirishima is the one with nightmares in this one and he gets CRANKY and BKG has to be the one to reach out and i thought that was such a fresh reversal loved it

No Secrets to Success - kingdoms - 7k - teen THIS IS MY FAV!! MY ABSOLUTE FAV JUST BC I LOVE IT WHEN FICS MAKE PEOPLE GAPE IN AWE FROM HOW SOFT BKG IS WITH KIRI. also krbk forming their relationship outside of school in this au was so??? sweet??? it's just them hanging out together. ALSO KIRI IS SO GOOD AT POKING BKG'S BUTTONS ASJDFHASK

Built to Fall - bigstupidjellyfish - 68k - explicit pro heros fic. they had a bad breakup in third year and oh god the angst is QUALITY. DW THEY TOTALLY MAKE UP AND IT'S SO FCKN WORTH IT. bkg also got therapy so he’s a little more stable as an adult lol

A Name That You'll Remember - heronfem - 33k - mature bkg is a fail!villain. he fell in with the wrong crowd when he was younger. he doesn't actually do anything wrong. in fact, all of his 'crimes' are generally stopped by kiri and somehow all end up exposing corruption anyway, so he's actually helping. kids love bkg. he always makes sure they're safe before he robs a jewelry store or sth. somehow kiri ends up flirting with him in all their fights and bkg has no idea what to make of him. the public can't get enough of them

strawberry mango sweet - redriotinggg - 9k - teen it's just a really sweet smoothie shop au!!! it's good reliable fluff!! what else can you ask for!!

cultivating something so divine - redriotinggg - 10k - teen redriotinggg yet again, i love this au, it's vet!au and kiri is so good at loving animals that bkg hires him and they fall in love and it's also got some competency porn, as in krbk are hella good at their job like power couple ayy

Tension Reduction - acernor - 10k - explicit Kirishima is a massage therapist and Bakugo needs help relaxing.

Mistletoe? Mistletoe. - Tearsaresalty - 2k - teen class 1a keeps making bkg kiss kiri and neither of them really mind wow i wonder why 🙄

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

[miraclestrawberry]

🌻 If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog 🌻.

Hello!

I'm into acting and in my theatre club we have this huge fight with one girl rn, because she joined even tho she's not interested in theatre at all but she likes the guy who's our friend and kind of stalks him (he told her to leave her alone dozen of times, but they <happen to> join so many after school activities together he cannot just block her and not talk to her to avoid the drama. And we can't just kick her out 😫 anyways, I'm so stressed out by this but also me and the girls are trying our best to save his ass, and now everytime she tries to talk with him I'm interrupting and slightly flirting with him so she's mad but can do nothing about it 🤣🤣

I talk too much. And lack focus. And have ADHD. Yeah. And I have My Candy Love oc who's also behaves like me at this point, her LI is Armin and because I based her (slightly, but still) on me, she also has a <history> with Nathaniel. And I rarely make OC who remind me of me, so even tho she's new she's kind of special and I'm trying to work on on her fanfiction rn ksjdjjkwka

I have no idea if my first fanfiction was about Violetta or Twilight, but it was surely one of these two and I was maybe 10 at that time and I also just started to read them............... And well, I found smut pretty fast. Later I was writing mostly things for miraculous ladybug and even tho I play mcl since 2015, my first MCL fanfiction is from 2022 🥹🤣

[tryna-sleep]

Like. I want a job so badly. I want money so much. My dad works so hard and I just wanna get started on my career so he can retire and hopefully get out of the cult he's in? (But hows that gonna even happen when i don't have money for grad school, plus I need to study for the gre and I AM NOT taking classes in person cause FUCK that.) But also my mom needs so much help rn cause of her disability and idk how much surgery is gonna help. And everyday it's looking like Im gonna need to be her caretaker for good. And idk how to do that and get started on job hunting again when I have no energy past trying to keep the house together?? Like 80 different things need to happen now and yet everyday it feels like I'm not even moving and inch. Idk where to start on moving my life forward and making sure me and my family can survive when my dad will eventually become disabled. I feel so useless and tired all the time. Adhd and depression AND this stupid motherfucking pandemic is kicking my ass.

[busybee-studies]

Check in September 24

Uni is once again kicking my ass. 3rd week back, 8 lectures in and I feel 5 weeks behind hahaha what else is new. I am completely out of my depth in 3/4 classes and it is completely my fault. I have felt in and out of my head and have off days where I don't accomplish anything and I just get further and further behind.

In fact I've been so spaced out I missed(completely forgot) about a physics quiz and math assignment. So there goes my buffer since the lowest mark gets dropped. Lectures need prereading to make any sense and prereading textbooks needs slides to guide which sections are most important and to simplify the dense text but the lecture slides arent always available and reading the textbooks makes me want to die.... why are they so complicated? I'll be returning to my real mvp prof Organic chem tutor and khan academy on youtube for stats and maths i think. All I know is that my processing speed is not fast enough to keep up with the class and I and consistently fucking up the iclicker questions which make me want to die.

But I don't want to die, not really. I feel better than I did the last two years that's for sure. Except I'm not at 100% yet. I feel so separate from everyone else. How do I bring myself to expend energy making small talk when I sometimes barely have enough to complete class? I find I don't even want to make friends. Why should I care what the latest tea you're obsessed with is? That's wrong, isn't it. I think I should probably, but I don't.

Honestly I'm just really messy rn. I gotta calendar a bunch of shit and midterms are in two weeks and I have a lot of practice problems I need to the do and questions I need to ask the profs and I am just very Tired. I could and probably will (to put off the work) spend a whole day just making a study plan and honestly I should've done that the first week back and I've been meaning to but I just haven't and I'm already suffering for it.

Trying really hard to romanticize my life and study like an aesthetic or ghibli movie but honestly studying is not romantic at all. It's a lot of cursing at my laptop and internally screaming and running through a lot of paper b/c I need to use paper b/c online notes aren't physical so they don't exist and I just never review them so its paper and a broken back baby. And by god I thought I would like uni over high school but now the teachers suck and you don't know anyone in your class and so so so much info has gotta stick in your brain all at once instead of periodic tests there's quizzes and assignments and tests and midterms all in different canvas tabs. I don't even enjoy the challenge b/c the pace is too fast to practice between lectures so I fall behind and there's no time to process it's just one concept after another and it's just to much and I guess I'm not cut out for academia which just leaves me as a shell of a person since I built my whole self worth on my academic achievement.

I think I have inattentive type ADHD, but I definitely can't handle jumping the hoops needed to get a diagnosis and figure out how to handle classes...

I should be mad but I'm just disappointed instead. anyways im gonna sleep b/c i need 10 hours to function but also get nothing done if i dont wake up at the crack of dawn so i should sleep bc i have a long weekend ahead of me and you know what I guess I'll post my study plan so at least im accountable to the void. Void, will you please be my study buddy/body double? thanks. goodnight world.

[strawberrylipstickstyles]

the only person i interact with on here @harrysayingnympho tagged me in this here we god damn go

💫 name: Leeron 💫 nickname: i get Ron, Ronnie, Lee (which i hate) and random hebrew terms of endearment from my family lol 💫 gender: female 💫 height: 5′7 💫 ethnicity: white 💫 favourite fruits: bananas or watermelon 💫 favourite season: fall 💫 favourite book series:I'm a huge reader but nothing is coming to mind rn. haven't read a legit series in a long ass time. lets just say Geronimo Stilton LOL 💫 favourite flower: idk!!! 💫 favourite scent: i like musky men scent lol... theres a specific one i like i think its bergamot?? but I'm not sure 💫 favourite colour: always changing but when i was a kid it was purple. Also when i was a kid i felt bad choosing one colour cause i felt it was unfair and mean to the other colour who tf was i  💫 favourite animal: doggos 💫 coffee/tea/cocoa: cocoa or coffee 💫 cat or dog person: dogs!!!! 💫 number of blankets: 1-2 💫 dream trip: wow. hard to narrow down i wanna go everywhere  💫 star sign: Sagittarius 💫 time: 10:27p 💫 birthday: nov 22 💫 favorite bands: 1d, the rolling stones, fleetwood, tame impala wow so many my brain hurts deciding 💫 favorite solo artists: Harry Styles  💫 the song stuck in my head: Bellyache by Billie Eilish 💫 last movie i watched: i can’t remember what the actual fuck 💫 last show i watched: Guy’s Grocery Games ,,,, i know 💫 when did i create my blog: my old 1D one was like..2011? this was my personal until recently i think it was same year 💫 what do i post: harry styles pics and nothing else 💫 last thing i googled: B2K 💫 do you have any other blogs: saved urls at this point 💫 do you get asks: lol no 💫 why did you choose your url: cause idk her 💫 following: like 90?? something like that 💫 followers: 300 something lmao they're all ghosts are weird porn accounts 💫 average hours of sleep: 7-8 i think 💫 lucky number: 22  💫 instruments: i played Baritone and the Glockenspiel in elementary school band after that nothing. been trying to teach myself guitar for like 6 years but my adhd kicks in 💫 what am i wearing: a big old orange t shirt 💫 dream job: rich for no reason lmao 💫 favorite food: steak i guess 💫 nationality: canadian? 💫 favorite song right now: in this very moment Disco Tits by Tove Lo cause I'm feeling DANCEY THIS WEEKEND

i tag @jawllines?? or whoever wants to!!!  go for it!!!