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huearmy · 5 years ago

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The Smell of Truth - III

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 5303

Rating: NC-17

Sorry that it took forever, my head is messed up.

Chapter I Chapter II - Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII

For the first time in years Jungkook woke up on his own, when his body asked for it, without anyone waking him up with a bucket of cold water, or to meet some schedule. He felt numb and heavy, relaxed, rested. He stretched, sitting against the headboard in the dark room. He couldn't tell the time, since there was no clock, making him feel a little disoriented in space time. After so many years without freedom to come and go the boy was not sure what to do now. About ten minutes went by without anyone showing up to tell him to get up - and he didn't want at all, the bed hugging him - hunger settled in his stomach, as well as the urge to go to the bathroom. But could he really leave? He got up and tested the door. It wasn't locked. So he could leave the room, in theory. Without making a sound he closed the door again and went back to bed, thinking about what to do to make the best impression on the first day in his new home. He decided to make the bed and tidy up the room. When he opened the curtains, bringing light to the room, a pile of clothes on the armchair caught his attention - a pair of sweatpants shorts and a oversized t-shirt, a new toothbrush, a pink post it on top. These clothes are mine, but it’s for you to wear while we don’t buy some for you. I think it'll fit. By the smell it was obvious the clothes were yours, he didn't even need to read the note to know. It fit, but not the way Jungkook likes to dress up - he likes big clothes on him, to feel comfy, and your big clothes, wich are big for you, who are smaller than him, are just right to him. Right now he was in clean clothes, smelling of fabric softener and you. He put on his shoes and his cap too. Outside the window the now busy street was full of cars and people, making him excited to go out. But yet again, can he? Determined to be a good boy and not disobey, for you to love him, Jungkook sat on the edge of the bed and waited. More minutes passed before he heard light knocks on the bedroom door. He crossed the room in one step and opened the door as fast as he could, his tail wagging from side to side, but it wasn't you in the hall, his smile fell. It was the cat. "What are you doing?" Yeri asked, taking him by surprise. "I... I'm..." He stammered. She crossed her arms "You've been up for almost half an hour, why haven't you left the room yet? Are you alright?" "Yeah" He spoke so low that if Yeri didn't have feline hearing she wouldn't have understood a word. "I was waiting for Y/n." "Oh" Her confused expression softened. "She went to work." "She is not home?" Yeri couldn't understand the slight panic in Jungkook's voice at asking it, or why he didn't left the room by his own choice. She don't know the feeling of rejection like he does, or the pain of being treated like a animal. She knows she is privileged though, she don't need to understand to be empathic... And you asked her to be nice to Jungkook so... "No, and she asked me to keep an eye on you until she back." She smiled softly "Go wash yourself, Y/n let breakfast done for you." Jungkook loved the restroom, for no especial reason, he just he just never saw a bathroom so ... happy - all colorful and with little plants in cute pots, and smelling and clean like he never imagined a bathroom could be. Out of curiosity he decided to try the shower, turned the register slowly, and when the water started to fall he put his hand under it and ... oh, it was so warm. "Yeri!" Jungkook ran into kicthen , where the cat was waiting by the table, scearing her off. The white hairs on her tail were all standing on end when she answered in a hiss. "What?!" "Where do I find towels and shampoo?" He excitedly asked. Not quite understanding Yeri pointed to the hall. "In the closet under the stairs in the hall... But..." Before she could end the sentence he was gone, and the sound of the door of the bathroon closing againg. Jungkook love to shower, stay clean, water. This was often the only medicine he received after being beaten until he was unable to get up. After a while, the cold, limited water shower became the safe spot for him, where the world couldn't hurt him anymore, and he could just breathe. In the shelter the water was not so cold anymore, but there was still a time limit for each shower, it was still Jungkook's favorite time of the day, because he didn't need to think about anything other than himself. Now the water was hot and pressurized, massaging his sore muscles, more than the room you give to him, this felt like home. Of course Jungkook felt a litlle bit upset that you weren't home when he woke up, after all he wanted to see you, he never liked an owner so much that he missed them from one day to the next. But he wasn't going to complain, it's not like he's used to getting attention, in fact being alone was more common than anything. He understands that you can have more important things to do than show him the apartment or prepare and have breakfast with him... You are already too good to be real. He was rinsing his hair and ears, massaging his own scalp, when voices came from outside, caughting his attention. It was two voices, female. You were home. _________________________________________________________________________________________ You entered the apartment with arms full of shopping bags and document folders. You quickly dropped everything on the table or on the floor near the door, took off your coat to hang on the rack and kicked off your shoes. Your eyes searched the living room and kitchen, looking for Jungkook, without a sign of him. You tried to complete all your tasks at the office as quickly as possible and rescheduled some visits for other days of the week to be able to get home early to see him, you were anxious to know if he slept well, or if your male clothes fit him . The breakfast you prepared for him before leaving still wrapped on the counter. You frowned. "Where is Jungkook?" You asked to Yeri, who was lying on the couch by teh window, jumping through the channels. "Taking a shower. He just woke up." She said without looking away from the tv. You hummed. "Ok. Can you put on the news for me please. I didn't have time to check it today." Yeri complained despite obeying anyway, but you paid no attention to it, busy putting the mess you brought with you in its proper place. The TV journalist was talking about the economy updates, which was not the topic you wanted to see. The explosion of the shelter last night ended up on twitter trending topics, but you wanted to know what the official media outlets have to say about. On the internet your organization is seen as justice, everything you do is seen as a heroic act by many, and that brings strength to the movement. Those in favor of the slavery of the hybrids also speak out against you, but their ignorance only strengthens the abulutionist discourse too - in a slow process of difficulty, but there are so many people working for equality that you refuse to be shaken by these rotten people full of hate. This polarization of ideas, of course, also divides politics, and it is this part that interests you the most, because it is from the government that the rights of the hybrids will be guaranteed. Mess with the economy and popular opinion that it is possible to change the government, which is why you and your camarades love that much to explode some state buildings. "Why are you home? I was expecting you only in an hour." Yeri looked at you from the other side of the room with lazy eyes. "Ah, I have to go out to do some more sttuf, but I needed to come pick something... And maybe eat. I skipped lunch." You decided to warm up the pancakes you made for Jungkook in the morning, and add toast and eggs to your meal. You heard the bathroom door and fast steps and was about to ask Jungkook if likes coffee, the moment you turned around he was already behind you, with a big smile and open arms to hug you. "Y/N!" You were enveloped by jungkook's long arms and squeezed against your chest, losing your balance the way he hit you with his whole body. By instinct and with no regrets, you hugged him back. His tail, which was already swinging from side to side, started to swing even faster. His dump hair was wetting you, and his litlle happy sounds were malink you soft. "Hi, Jungkook...." You give light taps on his back and opened up space between you two. " Let me see you... I knew the clothes would fit quite well. But if you don't like them, fine, they are only temporary, so you don't have to walk around in that shelter's hideous pajama." "I like the smell of it." He said smelling the shirt collar fabric. "Good. Because I'm a little paranoid about laundry." You really are. Actually you are kind of crazy tidy. "Are you hungry?" You softly said, still looking to how the clothes were wrapping his body. You didn't notices but you were making him blush with your stare. "Yes." He said in tiny. "Me too, lets eat breakfest together.". You reaffirmed your theory that Jungkook wouldn't be too picky about food, and that basically anything you put in front of him he eats happily. He just doesn't like coffee. And sweets are really his favorite. He ate the pancakes and egg with toast, plus a very large bowl of cereal, some fruit and a glass of juice. It wasn't just because everything was good, but he was happy you were eating with him, and that made him even more hungry. "Lucky me I have money." You still have a lot of questions in your head to do to Jungkook. You were curious about him in so many levels. Since from his habits and tastes to his past ... One doubt you have is: How is he so docile? His file said that he spent almost a decade in illegal dogfights. Most hybrids take less than five years to lost their and go feral, and then when they can no longer be controlled the owners put them down. But Jungkook doesn't. Furthermore, despite being a pitbull, he does not have his canine ears clipped, which is not common in the middle of where he came from. You wanted so much to ask... but you decided oposite it, thinking that it wasn't the moment. "Want more juice?" Jungkook offered, he was pouring himself more and saw your empty glass. "Of couse, thankyou, sweetie." You didn't notice the blush on his cheeks again, intending to pay more attention to the TV in the living room. Jungkook was not used to hearing praise like that, the most he heard from his former owner was 'champion' or 'good boy' when he won a fight and there was nothing satisfying about it. Your 'sweetie', on the other hand, accompanied by a smile from you, just because of a glass of juice seemed like the world to him. "Updates on the terrorist attack on a shelter in downtown Seoul last night: It was confirmed that despite the magnitude of the explosion and the damage to the building's structure, there were no victims, either by the hybrids or by the local staff. According to the authorities, the 100 hybrids that lived in the shelter were kidnapped by an anti-government organization as a form of protest, on social media entities defend that they were released by the Set Us Free movement." You got up and crossed your arms to watch the jornalist talking as aerial recordings of the burning building and post prints talking about took over the screen. "Early in the morning, a series of complaints linked to the shelter came to the knowledge of the police, involving corruption and money laundering, as well as mistreatment of resident hybrids. Among the evidence presented a list with names involved in the scheme ..." As the jornlist listed names of businessman and politicians. Many of these names you already knew, once your group that investigated and made the report, others were a surprise to you. In that moment you were so interested in the news that you sat on the end of the chouch supporting your elbows on your knees, watching the TV without blinking. Jungkook recognized the images from the shelter last night, but he didn't find it so interesting, because seeing the explosion live was much nicer, and none of the information said anything to him. But seeing you so serious was interesting, he took the bowl of cereal and sat at your feet, looking more at you and your reactions than at the TV itself. "Senator Y/L/N spoke earlier in a news conference.." The image of the journalist was replaced by one of a man in a suit speaking in front of several different microphones. "Violent acts can't and won't be encouraged, but we need to pay attention to where it comes from. The social injustice and slavery of hybrids needs to be tackled in some way, and since the government is slow to guarantee the rights they deserve as similar to humans, manifestations of marginalized groups are to be expected. It is not giving them what they want, as the conservators say, it is guaranteeing them what should already be theirs by right. Situations like last night are nothing more than a symptom of the disease that we think we are entitled to own a hybrid." Jungkook thought it was cute the way you were biting the inside of your cheek or how it looked like you were narrowing your eyes with each word said. "Ya... Dad is so different when speeching..." Yeri mumbled. It took Jungkook's attention away from you. "Dad?" He asked with his mouth full of cereal, looking from Yeri to you and to the man in the TV. "Yes." You awnsered, lying in the couch. "This is my uncle... He is cool isn't he?" Jungkook frowned, not thinking the guy is so cool... but since you say so... "Does he protect hybrids like you do?" You smiled to him, slightly petting his head. "On his way." At the same time that the news changed to weather forecast, your phone started to beep with messages. You praticaly jumped from the couch to your feet. "I need to go." You said. From the floor, Jungkook looked at you with doe eyes and a pout. "You are leaving again?" "I have something to do... But you can come with me. If you want." "I do." Jungkook jumped on his spot, finishing his cereal as fast as he could. "Then go put on that hoodie I gave you. Is kind of cold out side." You didn't need to say twice. Jungkook ran to his room to obligue, he came back finishing putting on his sweatshirt and putting on his shoes midair. He was so excited, and the look on your face when he took your hand was so affectionate towards him, just like the good dreams sometimes he have. He was intending on livig his best life with you while it lasted, as long as you wanted him, after so many bad, terrible things that he was forced to go through during his short life, Jungkook got used to not waiting for things to really improve, but he also learned to enjoy each of the good moments, whether they were truth or just dreams. Maybe he will wake up at some point and realize that he is still in the shelter ... or in the cold room, using a muzzle ... Until then he will not stop receiving all the affection that you are willing to give. Among the good things he was not expecting to happen, going out for a walk is one of Jungkook's favorite. "I'm ready." He told you with a cheekie smile, even if you could clearly see it for yourself. You just smiled back containing the urge to grab him by the cheeks. So cute. "Do you want a ride home,Yeri?" You picked the keys. "No thanks. Irene will pick me up in half of an hour." She didn't even looked at you to awnser, to busy scrowling throgh her phone. "Ok. Don't forget to lock the door when you leave," Said that you two left the apartment, and Jungkook got your attention all for himself again. ________________________________________________________________________________ It wasn't your plan to spoil Jungkook so much. Of course, you already intended to go shopping with him, and maybe, who knows, give the world to him if he wanted to, but the idea was that things would happen more slowly. Instead, early in the morning on your way to work, you saw a beautiful jacket in a shop window and thought it would look beautiful on him, without hesitation you went into the store and bought it, and as a bonus some other pieces of clothing for essential use. Now you were supposed to go to the grocerie store, get an order of yours, and that's it. Kess than one hour and you both would be back home. Now its been almost two hours and your SUV is stuffed with shopping bags of clothes and other random things that made Jungkook's eyes sparkles as you strolled in front of shop windows - you let him buy a skate and an air freshener, for exemple. The tour was a big new world for him, clearly he was having fun just running around the store shelves and you had to pull him back into focus more than once. Like when he decided to try on all the hats in a store, first one hat at a time then all at the same time, it was cute, and you took the ones he seemed to like the most and added to his shopping pile without him paying attention. "Jungkook, do you want to choose some underwear? I have no idea what you like or what size you wear..." He was no where to be seen but you knew he was listening to you, especially after a few seconds, when the sound of the new boots you bought him two stores earlier approached fast, and then the hybrid's happy face appeared among the jeans racks beside you. "Oh, this is important, the only underwear I have is drying on my bedroom window." He said starting to look through the pile of new underwear, ignoring all the colored ones, and separating only the black and white ones. "Wait, what?" You blinked at him. "I washed in the shower and didn't know where to leave it, so I hung it in the window." He simply said. You were kind of shocked. "Jungkook... Aren't you wearing underwear? Like right now...?" He just made no with his head, too entertained in choosing several identical boxer briefs.. You looked around to see if anyone around heard it, taken with modesty but finding the situation a little funny. "Did you have more at the shelter? Why didn't you bring it when I said to get your things?" "I had it, but I didn't think about it at the time." You just laughed at him and hurried him so you would soon pay for everything and move on, with the promise of returning to buy more things later. You still needed to go to the grocerie store... Where together you filled a shopping cart with your list - last night he said he wanted to have a barbecue, so you were going to prepare one for him, lots of meat, charcoal and side dishes - and things that Jungkook thought might taste good by the look of it. "Jungkook, you will find some hygiene products for hybrid in this corridor. Take a look and choose, I'll be right back ... ". "Wait." He looked arond. The grocerie store was way bigger than the clothes shops you went before, with a lot more people, he was not comfortable being alone here. How would he know where to find you if you go too far? You read that in his expression and give his hand a squeeze. "I'll just pick a package. Three corridors from here to the right." You poited. "But don't worry I'll be right back. Can you look the cart for me?" "Of couse I can." He said, more confident now. "Thankyou, sugar." You gave him another of those smiles and then left him alone to choose deodorants and soaps for hybrids. But you didn't lie, as fast as you're gone you're back, now with a wrapped paper package in your hands. Out of curiosity Jungkook sniffed the package over your shoulder while you put it in the cart, but for some reason he was unable to identify what could be inside. "Please don't put anything on top of that, it's fragile." You said. "Ready to go?" "Yeah." Jungkook droped one of one soap bar into the cart, not seeing which of the two fragrances he had been choosing before. "What is it?" You gave him a mischievous smile, hooking an arm around his and then guiding him through the corridors to the cashiers. You knew he would be curious, and you specifically asked them to wrap the package in a special paper that will outwit his dog nose. "Its a surprise." Jungkook was convinced. He never had good experiences with the idea of 'surprise', but coming from you he did not imagine anything bad. If you were saying that he was supposed to wait to find out what was in the package, then he was just going to wait. ____________________________________________________________________ When you got home, you parked once again at the back of the building, the light from the florist indicating that although it was time to close, the employees still haven't left. The same thing in the office on the second floor. You thought it would take a lot of coming and going to take all the bags up to the apartment, but while you picked up some and thought it was too much for you, Jungkook picked up almost all the others, hanging them in his arms, and when he left the first batch on living room ran to get the rest alone. It had been a while since he had space to run a litlle, without even being able to remember the last time. He only slowed down when he heard voices on the second floor, adjusted the bags in his hands and tried to go unnoticed. "I want to finish this before call it a day." A soft voice spoke. "But I want to go home. I'm hungry..." Another male voice answered. "More fifteen minutes, Tae." The office door opened just when Jungkook was passing, and he felt like he was caught doing something he shouldn't have, even if he wasn't, two guys looking right at him. The one at the table in front of a computer and stacks of paper smiled and waved at him. The other, holding the door handle, didn't even blink at him, looking serious. Jungkook just bowed his head and continued on his way, stopping only after reaching you in the kitchen. You felt his arms embracing you from behind and his forehead on you sholder. The guy at the table was a hybrid, he couldn't tell what kind, but the smell was like a cat, and probably, since as far as he knows they both work for you, the two shouldn't be bad. Still, Jungkook couldn't make his heart slow down. Men scare him. You turned to look at him. He didn't let you go tho. "What's up?" You asked noticing his distress. Jungkook bited down his bottom lip. "Got tired." You smiled and pet his head for the second time today making him sigh and close his eyes. Without knowing it you made him calm down. "Go put your things on your room, the new clothes in the closet... When you're done, go up to the terrace." "And then we will eat a lot of meat?" "Yep" _______________________________________________ You were just finishing making the vegetable skewers, and putting the meat on the grill when Jungkook went up the stairs to the floor where his room is and the terrace, where he hadn't gone yet. Like the bathroom, the terrace were filled with plants, but here the vases and plants are much bigger. The starry sky was beautiful, and the movement of cars and people on the street is comforting and full of possibilities. Jungkook stopped by the glass door and just looked at you, who didn't noticed him yet. You were now in comfortable clothes and messy hair, drumming his fingers on the table to the beat of a song that was playing only in his head. Once again the thought that you seem inoffensive crossed Jungkook's mind. But that's a lie. You are powerfull in a way he isn't. During the tour of the city he saw your surname in names of shops and street signs more than once, your uncle is an important guy who appears on TV, and your friends do illegal things using guns and bombs... And you are human - and that's enough for you to be scary for any hybrid. You are not harmless, and one thing that would certainly hurt Jungkook hard would be if after today, when he felt at home after years of not knowing what that feeling is like, you decide that you don't want him anymore. That would be worse than every time he thought he was going to die in a fight. Rejection. Like in the shelter, Jungkook was trying to figure it out a way to be loved. To be so loved that someone would want to live with him forever and never leave him. But he doesn't know how to do it. "Do you want some help?" He approached you. "No. Now just don't let the meat burn." You proudly put your hands on your hips. "But I wantou to sit here... and close your eyes." You made him sit by the wooden picnic table and ran inside. He closed his eyes as you said so. You came back with calmer steps and put something in front of him, an instant after the smell of phosphor and sugar entered Jungkook's nose and you said... "You can open it now." In front of Jungkook was a cake with the words "Welcome home JK" written on it and some candles on top. His eyes got wet instantly. "This is an welcome party." You said softly, holding his hand. "And every party need a cake. Surprise, Jungkook." Jungkook wiped away the tears that began to flow with the sleeve of the hoodie - the hoodie that was yours and still smells like you. Seeing that he was crying, you tentatively rubbed a hand on his back and waited for the sobs to pass before you spoke. "Jungkook, we need to have this conversation sooner or later... But I don't want to be your owner." You said and he got freeze. He looked in shock to you and more tears ran down his face. He was so confused. The cake made him so happy and then you said exactly what he was afraid of hearing. A knowing look reached your eyes and you wiped the boy's face yourself. "Don't cry. Let me explain, ok?" He nodded, without realizing that he was holding your hand with all his strength. You couldn't care less. "I never intended on adopting or buying a hybrid. You are the only exception." You smiled sweetly. "When you said you wanted to come with me I couldn't say no. You were so sweet, trusting on me... You are very special to me, even if we've only known each other since yesterday." You took his face in your free hand. "But I'm unable to own a person. It may be strange for you to understand what I am saying now, but my intention in having you with me is for you to be free. If you want to live with me forever, in the simplest way in the world, I will take care of you. If you want to live your life in any other way, even if it is somewhere else, I will also take care of you, and support you. Because the choice is yours. Of course, you don't have to choose anything now. Today or years from now ... It will remain your choice." Jungkook relaxed but remained confused, not knowing how to respond. "What do you want?" He finally said. Your eyes saddened, the thought that your wanting to be more important to him than his own bothering you. "I want to be your friend." His answer seemed to be what Jungkook wanted to hear, because he opened a huge and beautiful smile. "That's enough for me. Can I eat the cake?" "Of couse!" You served him a piece and one for you, chattering like you never cared much for dessert after a meal, and that if he wanted to eat the meat and the cake together you wouldn't judge. His daydreams are cute, he concluded, determined to love you so that you love him. "Y/N... There are a lot of things about me that I don't like, and I know you won't like it either... And I don't like to talk about it, or to think about it at all... But since we are friends I feel like I should... " "That you should tell me?" He nodded. "You dont need to. Jungkook, I already know a lot of bad things about you." You made him freeze again. "Nothing personal, but enough that if it bothered me or changed the way I see you, I wouldn't even have brought you home. But I don't care, and if you don’t feel like sharing it with me now, or ever, okay, you don’t owe it to me just because we’re friends." He smiled to his cake. "Seriously, I have a lot of secrets my friends don't know. You can have yours too." "Thankyou, Y/N. I like you a lot, and I think I want to be with you forever." That was your time to smile to your cake. "So you are stuck with me forever then." Having a friend has always been more important to Jungkook than having a good owner. But for him the only friend he had stayed in the past, he was already sure that it would never happen again and that he was alone for the rest of his life. But now he had you, and that is enough. Regardless of the situation, friends are forever. If you are friends, he doesn't have to be afraid of you kicking him out, even with all the bad things he has done or all the fears he has.

And that good feeling tastes like cake. _____________________________________________________________

Tag list: @stayunderthelights @deolly @panconte @serendipityoreuphoria @madygswich

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AND PLEASE GIVE LOVE TO THIS WORK OF MINE: Clumsy

#bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts hybrid fic #bts fanfction #hybrid bts #bts reaction #bts #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungguk #jungkook fic #hybrid jungkook #hybrid #dog Jungkook #jungkook imagine #bts hybrid fanfic #bts hybrid au #bangtanshadowfamily

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staticscreenwriting · 5 years ago

Text

All you have to be is here - Part 2

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age who’s smile is phenomenal and who is way too nice to him.

I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

Part 2 of ?

Part 1 //

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please. I’ll make a header image at some point.]

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

There’s a heavy weight settling on Billy’s chest as the morning sun falls through the curtains. As he lifts his head off of the pillow a pair of copper coloured eyes stare back at him. The cat softly snuggled up on his chest, is more the size of a small child than a cat. It’s big and orange and looks like it’s got no care in the world as it rests on Billy’s ribcage.

Billy lets his eyes wander around the room, trying to take in as much as he can. It’s a tiny room with a couch that’s way too small for him to sleep on properly, but incredibly comfortable nonetheless, and a tv pressed against the opposite wall. There’s a dirty ashtray resting on the couch table next to a seventeen magazine and a vial of bright red nail polish.

(Y/N) lives here alone, safe for the monster of a cat, he’s figured out this much. There’s hardly room here for a visitor, much less another person. God, what he wouldn’t give for a place of his own. Some place that isn’t tainted with anger and sadness and bad feelings all around.

“ Oh, you’re awake. Great, I made breakfast ! “

Billy leans up a little further, resting his weight on his elbows and yet the cat shows no intentions of actually moving off of him.

(Y/N) is leaning against the counter of the kitchen that’s connected to the living room. There’s a light blue fridge flanked by bright orange cabinets and a rusty sink and a stove that seems like it’s about to fall apart any second. It all looks like a downright mess and still Billy finds himself envious. Because no matter how big of a mess, it’s solely hers.

“ Your cat is suffocating me “ his voice is rough and still soaked with sleep and exhaustion.

“ I told you he’s fat and clingy. He likes you though, that’s good. “

“ What’s he do to people he doesn’t like ? “

“ Pees on them. “

“ Geez “.

Slowly Billy sits up further, the cat slowly sliding down from his chest and into his lap.

“ Just pick him up and put him down somewhere else. “ (Y/N) directs him nodding her head towards the orange furball.

Billy does as she says, getting off the couch and placing the cat back down, before walking over towards the kitchen area of the apartment.

“ Here. Breakfast for champions “ (Y/N) exclaims and hold out a bowl of what looks to be lucky charms and a spoon. It’s a plastic bowl, a bright orange one that looks like a basketball. He remembers having one of those when he was little. It was his favorite and mom always used it to serve him alphabet soup when he was sick.

“ Thanks. “

“ Sure thing. That’s a pretty gnarly looking fist you got there. “

Billy glances down towards his hand. It’s red and swollen and bruised and it looks ridiculous holding onto the basketball bowl. Like his present is holding onto a part of his past that he can never go back to. A part of his past that seems like a whole lifetime ago. That feels like a whole different person all together.

“ Whatever “

And really, it is whatever. In the grand scheme of things it’s just a bruised first and some bloody knuckles. The implications of it to be forever his and only his to know about.

“ So do you do this often ? “ he asks, trying to steer the topic away from himself and his wounds, visible and invisible.

“ Do what exactly ? “

“ Let strangers sleep on your couch. “

“ You’re starting to sound awfully ungrateful there Hargrove. And that even though I made you breakfast ?! “

“ You poured a bowl of cereal “

“ Your point ? “

And it’s then, that Billy has to crack a smile. It’s not as if he doesn’t smile during his day to day life. He does. A lot. Only usually they come in order to get something in return.

The smiles come whenever he wants to get a girl into his bed. Whenever he charms the ladies at the swimming pool. Whenever he tries to sweet talk his way out of a situation.

This one comes from some place else. He doesn’t get anything in return. He doesn’t need anything in return.

Sometimes a smile is just a smile and that is all it needs to be.

“ How old are you ? “

“ Excuse me ? You’re kinda giving me whiplash here with the change of topics. “

“ Yeah that didn’t answer me question at all “ he says and shoves another spoon of lucky charms into his mouth.

“ I’m 17, almost 18. I’m in my senior year. “

“ And you live here by yourself ? “

“ Yup. Got emancipated when I was 15. “

He almost chokes on his cereal at that confession. It’s not something he has been expecting. Sure he was aware that something must be going on in her life but things must be pretty rough for someone to get emancipated at 15.

Again he finds himself envious. Of the freedom. The independence. Of all the possibilities she has. The one he can’t even dare to dream about, living with Neil.

Envy is ugly and mean and cold and it comes with anger and resentment that directed towards people who do not deserve it in the least. He tries so hard to keep it at bay, shove it down to rest with all the other emotions, all the rest of the baggage. He knows one day it’s all gonna boil over. It comes in little bursts every once in a while but one day, one day there’s gonna be a big meltdown. One that’s gonna sweep over everything like a tidal wave. Like one of the real big ones he used to surf back in California. Back Home. Back when things were better and mom was around and his chest wasn’t feeling so heavy.

“ Damn, what happened ? “

“ That is none of your business. Just uh — you’re not the only one who’s family life isn’t all sunshine and daisies. “

There’s something in her eyes as she says that, that seems oh so familiar to Billy. Not because he’s seen it before but because he knows that gleam, he’s felt it before. So many times over so many years.

People say that misery loves company. That a trouble shared is a troubled halved. He thinks that bullshit. People who say this live comfortable lives. They don’t know real misery, haven’t lived through it.

Billy doesn’t ever want to see the pain he feels in other people. Not that same kind of pain. Physical one he’s caused his fair share of, but emotional pain ? Nah. That’s something he doesn't ever want to see in another one’s eyes. And as it stares back right at him from (Y/N)’s (Y/E/C) eyes, it doesn’t feel like his pain is halved, it seems twice as heavy, twice as painful.

“ Look, that actually brings me to my next point. You gotta get outta here. I need to leave for work in about 20 minutes so … “

“ Volunteering isn’t until 4 today, it’s sunday you gave me the schedule. “

“ Yeah well, Billy Idol, volunteering doesn’t pay my rent. I work at a diner. “

“ A diner ? No way. Do you have a little apron and everything ? Pencil behind your ear ? “ he teases, finishing his bowl of cereal and placing it in the sink.

“ Would you believe it if I told you I even got roller skates ? “ (Y/N) replies and pulls up her lip in distaste.

“ No fucking way “.

“ I wish I was lying. “

“ Here in Huckley ? “

“ Mmmh… “

“ Dammit, I knew Hawkins was a shithole. Can’t believe this even tinier shithole has a diner with roller skating waitresses and Hawkins does not. “

“ Ah don’t worry, they’re not all as hot as me. You’re not missing much. “ as she says it, she’s smiling and the hurt in her eyes is almost gone. But once he’s noticed it, Billy is sure he will never fail to find it again. It’s always there. Simmering. It’s part of her just as it is part of him. It never goes away, at least he hasn’t experienced that. Maybe someday in the future it will. He hopes so. He really truly hopes so.

“ Bummer. “

“ I know. Anyway, you gotta go. “

“ Geez, you’re hurting me babe. Usually it’s me kicking the girls out of my bed. “

“ I’m sure your ego will survive. I’ll see you at volunteering later, right ? “

“ Court ordered, remember ? “ He says, slipping on his jacket and boots and walking towards the door.

“ I’m sure you’ll have a good time today. We’re doing arts and crafts “

“ What ? I haven’t done any arts and crafts since 4th grade. “

“ Well then it’s about time your start again, huh ? “

“ Are you shitting me right now “.

“ Oh Billy, I would never !”

- XXX -

When Billy arrives back home, he’s grateful to see Neil’s car is not there. Sooner or later he’s going to have to deal with the situation but he sure as hell is preferring “later”.

The thing with Neil is that whatever he does, it’s never predictable. Sometimes he’ll yell, sometimes he gets physical and sometimes, those are the worst times, he says things. Mean things. Things that he knows very well will hurt Billy. Things that feel like a stab right into the heart.

There’s a sick sense of pride in Neil’s face whenever he has one of those days. Like hurting Billy brings him satisfaction. A weird gratification.

It’s disgusting. And sad. And it makes Billy so furious. If Neil wasn’t like this, so sick and twisted and always angry, mom would still be here and they’d still be in California and he’d be a normal teenager with normal problems. No bruised knuckles, no black eyes. A teenager that wouldn’t have to be afraid to come home. Home, this place doesn’t even feel like home. It never did. It probably never will.

Billy doesn’t know where exactly home is. It’s not here though.

He slowly trudges through the house, taking note of Susan’s shoes being gone as well. She always leaves them by the door because “ that’s just the way people do it”. Like a proper little housewife keeping her proper little house neat and tidy for her proper little family. It’s making him sick. There’s a lot of anger in him directed towards Susan. Some of it is justified. Some of it is not. He knows he shouldn’t fault her for what happened with his mother. Susan isn’t the one who drove her away. Susan didn’t smack her around day in day out. Susan isn’t the one who decided to just up and leave, forgetting all about her son. Susan has done none of that and he knows he can’t resent her for this.

There’s part of his animosity towards her that is more than justified. She knows what’s happening sheltered behind the walls of this house. She hears it and sees it. This woman has a front row seat to Billy’s misery and she does nothing. Just watches and waits and stays silent. To top it all off, she brings her daughter into this place. Billy wonders if it was Max instead of him, would she still be watching. Would she act ? Despite his problems with Max, he hopes he never has to find out. He doesn’t trust Susan to stop the watching and actually act.

A mess of red locks dashes around the corner and collides with his chest effectively pulling him from his thoughts.

“ Watch it, shitbird. “

“ Sorry “ Max murmurs then hurries past him, only stopping just before the front door, hand already on the handle.

“ Billy ? “

“ What ? “

“ Are you okay ? “

Is he okay ? Yes. Billy is always okay. It’s his default setting at this point. Billy Hargrove — okay. There’s a certain amount of pain you can go through until you become kind of used to it, kind of numb. It seeps into your system and settles deep inside your bones and becomes a part of you and before you know it that’s your normal and you’re okay. But is that really a way to live ? He wonder often. To only be okay, never fully happy. Halfway happy at best. Always okay never more.

Billy is okay — but he really doesn’t want to be anymore. Okay is not enough.

“ Yeah. Why ? “

He knows Max cares, that’s just the person she is. She cares deeply even if she hides it under a veil of teenage rebellion and girl power. He doesn’t want her to, can’t really let himself accept the fact that she cares. Max, with all her spunk and sparkles, is a constant reminder of the life that was taken from him. One with a mother who loves him. One who doesn’t run off and leaves her to fight for her own survival.

And yeah maybe Susan just silently watches but at least she’s there. At least she loves Max enough to be there and no abandon her.

Billy wishes he could let go of the negativity and just accept Max affection. But he can’t. He can’t. Affection that isn’t sexual, is not something Billy ever really gets to keep in his life so it’s better not to feel it at all than to feel it and have it taken away again at some point.

“ I dunno. Just — last night “

“ Yeah, whatever. Just forget it alright ? It’s none of your business anyway. “

“ Alright, god. I was just asking. “

“ Yeah well don’t !” he calls out to her before rushing into his room, slamming the door behind him.

As he looks at himself in the mirror, Billy can hardly recognize the person staring back at him. It’s been like this for a while. He feels very detached from it all. Like he’s living a life through a hazy filter, clouded by anger and agony. His mom would be disappointed in him. For dealing with things the way he does. For treating people the way he does.

Then again, his mom has given up the right to judge him when she pissed off and left him behind.

A glance at the clock lets him know that he’s still got a few hours before he has to be back at HHTCY. He presses play on his stereo and Metallica sounds through the house at a deafening volume.

What he needs now, is a smoke and a shower and in that order.

- XXX -

“ Why are we doing this again ? “ Billy asks as he helps (Y/N) distribute the arts and crafts supplies to all the kids.

“ It helps “.

“ Helps with what ? Confirming that someone is crazy ? “

“ No one here is crazy you asshole. No it helps with dealing with stuff. “

“ Does it now ? Is that what you say or what the looney doctors tell you ? “

“ Look “ (Y/N) says as she places a set of paint brushes on one of the desks “ this is fun for the kids and the experts say it helps them so who am I to question that ? I’m just a volunteer, hell I still go to Highschool “.

“ Oh yeah, you don’t go to Hawkins High do you ? I would’ve seen you. “

“ You would’ve not but uh — no. I go to school here in Huckley. Huckley High, Home of the Huckley Honey Badgers. “

“ Huh, “ Billy says and suavely leans against the supply closet “ didn’t think this tiny shithole had it’s own High School. And with it’s own team and mascot too. Impressive. “

“ Lose the snarky remarks please. I’ll let you know Honey Badgers are vicious and mean and dangerous, okay ? “ (Y/N) remarks and waves around the brush she’s got in her hand, pointing it at Billy every once in a while “ but yeah, it’s just a tiny High School. No big deal. I bet your School in California was different huh ? “

“ Was just a fucking High School like any other. Wait — how do you know where I’m from ? “

“ You have a California license plate, “ (Y/N) replies before turning away from him “ and I may have read your file. “

“ You did what ? I — that is 100 % against company policy ! “

“ Yeah well so is smoking on the premises and I didn’t rat you out so I guess we’re even. I had to know what I was dealing with here. “

He’s not mad really, it’s not like there’s things in there that he doesn’t want anyone to know. The things he keeps hidden aren’t written down in any file, they’re in his heart locked away from prying eyes. Safe. Secure.

“ Hey (Y/N), there’s a call for you”. Another volunteer, Jeff, says motioning towards the back office adjacent to the arts room.

“ A call ? “

“ It sounded urgent, I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me his name. “

So it’s a he. A boyfriend maybe ?

Billy quickly shakes that thought from his mind. That’s not a mess he wants or needs to get into right now. Is she cute ? Yes, she’s gorgeous but things are all around fucked up at the moment and he doesn’t need to add a heartbroken coworker into the mix. You don’t fuck around at work, that’s common knowledge.

“ I told you not to call ! I work here, how did you even get this number. “ he picks up bits and pieces of the conversation that (Y/N) whisper-yells into the phone. Maybe not a boyfriend after all.

“ Well don’t. Don’t call again. Leave me alone. “ when she hangs up the phone, she leans against the wall for a moment, letting out a big breath. Something is weighing on her, it’s clear as day and thought Billy doesn’t want to get involved with anyone else’s problems, he’s still curious about what just happened.

“ You alright ? “ he ask when she comes back “ boyfriend ? lovers quarrel ? “.

“ Fuck off, Billy “ (Y/N) replies, all joking and teasing gone from her voice. She looks around for a second to see if any of the kids have picked up on her swearing. They didn’t or if they did they don’t seem to care.

Lydia stands in front of the class, telling the kids some pseudo deep shit about painting their feelings and all that crap that they seem to believe in here. Billy thinks it’s absolute bullshit. There’s problems that can’t be solved by drawing rainbows and singing songs around the campfire. It’s a disservice to the kids to make them believe that’s how the world works, with paint and songs and good thoughts.

“ What I want you to paint today, is a happy memory. A moment you can remember being completely content. “

Billy can’t help but let his mind wander, trying to come up with a happy memory of his own. His thought immediately go back to California, that’s where he used to be genuinely happy. Even thought it was a long time ago he can still picture it in his head like it was yesterday. The only joy he feels in Hawkins is when he’s balls deep in his latest conquest, but California ? California at least held moments of a happy past.

He pictures the beach, the waves that seemed so big to him then. Like huge fluffy curls reaching up all the way into the sky. He feels the ocean breeze on his skin, smells the salt, hears the seagulls. His mom is there, twirling in the sand like some Hippy ballerina. She’s smiling and she’s so beautiful. Her laughter sounds through the air like a long forgotten lullaby. And Billy, he was so young then, so innocent and — happy. The world had not been cruel on him then, or at least he had someone to shelter him from most of it. Back then, she still loved him. Someone still loved him.

Maybe the beach was just a beach and the ocean just the ocean but with someone there who loved him, it all felt magical.

She doesn’t love him anymore and all the magic is gone and he’s cold and bitter and perpetually pissed off.

Happy memories are one hell of a drug and nostalgia is a goddamn liar. When he thinks about that memory now, focuses really really strongly and doesn’t allow the filter of nostalgia to cloud his judgement, he can paint another picture of that day. They’d went to the beach because Neil had been drinking more than usual. His mom had a black eye. The smile didn’t even each her eyes.

The memory was happy to him now because he decided to remember it that way. Though reality was quite another story.

He turns to look at (Y/N), only to find her drawing a picture herself. They weren’t supposed to actually take part in this class, just supervise and setup and clean afterwards. She’d told him that beforehand.

“ What are you drawing there ? “ he asks, peaking onto the piece of paper before her. There’s a big blob of blue and what he can only guess is a swingset.

“ A happy memory “

“ Oh yeah, wanna elaborate ? “

“ Again, it’s none of your business but sure. It’s uh — it’s Lake Michigan. My mom used to take me there every year for my birthday until I was 12. I loved it there, I love the beach and I’ve always dreamed of the ocean. We couldn’t really afford a trip to the coast so this was the next best thing. There was a swingset there and I could just spend hours swinging and looking at the lake. It was magical. “

He thinks it’s kind of ironic that both their happy memories come back to the beach, albeit two vastly different beaches in two very different memories.

“ You’ve never been to the coast ? The ocean ? “

“ Nope. But It’s what I wanna do for my 18th birthday. I wanna swim in the pacific. I wanna feel the sun on my skin and taste the salt in the air. “

“ Once I’m done with school I’m outta here and back on my way to California. There’s room in my Camaro if you want to carpool. “

“ Spending several days in a car with you ? Why would I do that ? You’re aggravating ! “

She smiles though. When she says it she smiles. He’s heard those words from Neil before. Aggravating. They stung then, they don’t sting now. There’s no malice in them this time. She says them almost like a compliment. What the fuck is going on here ?

“ I’ve been told. You’re not a very good artist. “

“ And you’re not a very good flirt and yet all girls seem to swoon at the mere thought of you. “

“ Do they now ? “ he asks, signature Billy Hargrove smirk playing on his lips. “ How would you know that ? “

“ I have friends at Hawkins High. “

“ And you talked to them about me, now isn’t that adorable. “

“ Don’t flatter yourself, man. “

“ You think about me, that’s so cute. Honestly I can’t blame you. “

“ Oh my god your ego is the size of a small country. Unbelievable. “

“ Don’t get shy now (Y/N). “

“ Could you please stop. “ she says but she’s laughing. Her laugh is warm and comfortable and honest. It’s a laugh that reminds him of days when he wasn’t bitter or sad or angry.

“ Never, I’m never letting that go. “

“ That’s what I’m afraid of. “

And when she goes back to drawing on her memory, Billy thinks that maybe there are little happy moments here in Indiana. They don’t make great memories to think back to and they’ll probably dull and vanish someday in the future. They’re not monumental or important. But they are there. In the teasing and the laughter. Even if it’s just a temporary feeling. It’s there. It’s real. It’s his.

- XXX -

The following week is exhausting for Billy. He’s constantly on the go, driving to school then work then HHTCY. He can’t wait for the pool season to be over so he can scrap that off of his schedule and find a job that doesn’t require him to just sit around in the sun all day. It used to be fun at first but at this point it’s just a drag.

It’s friday evening as Billy sits on the cushioned chair in what is technically not (Y/N)’s office watching her do the last of the paperwork for that day. They both have the next saturday off and even though Billy is still expected to see Dr. K. he’s so glad to not have to work or go to school for at least one day.

“ You got any plans tonight? “ he asks (Y/N), who only glances up at him for a moment then focuses back on the paperwork.

“ Nah, why ? “

“ Just thinking. There’s a party at a classmates house. Her parents are loaded, huge mansion. Free drinks. You should come. “

“ Are you asking me to come to a party with you ? “

“ That’s exactly what I just did. “

Before she can answer a knock sounds at the door and Alex, one of the girls who stays at HHTCY permanently steps into the room.

“ Hi (Y/N) I just uh — oh hi Billy “ she says as she spots him sitting in the corner and blushes.

“ Hi ? “ he’s never spoken a single word to this girl. She’s about 13 or 14, around Max’s age. There’s a mop of bleach blonde hair on her head and she’s wearing entirely too many bangles on her wrists.

“ You wanted something ? “ (Y/N) chimes up and Billy can see the smirk pulling at the corner of her lips. What is this all about ? Girls really are a different species all together.

“ Oh yeah. I’m staying at my mom’s in Hawkins for the night. Lydia has sign off on it already it’s all fine, I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving right now. I’ll be back by noon tomorrow. “

“ Okay cool. I hope you have a good day at your mom’s “

“ Yeah me too. Thanks. Bye. Oh and uh — bye Billy. “

“ Bye ? “

When she leaves and closes the door, (Y/N) descends into a fit of giggles.

“ What’s so funny ? “

“ She has the biggest crush on you and you don’t even notice”.

“ She’s a kid ! “ Billy points out.

“ Yeah well I was a kid when I had a crush on Mark Hamill “

“ Mark Hamill ? “ Billy asks incredulously “ Star Wars ? “.

“ Yeah ? What about it ? “

“ Oh my god, you’re a nerd. You have a crush on Mark Hamill and you named your cat after him. You’re a nerd, (Y/N). “

“ Uh, no I just like good movies and Mark Hamill looked very dreamy. Get off my case. “

“ Never “ he laughs and it’s then that he realizes that he’s laughed more in the time he’s started working here than he has in the last few years. It feels — freeing. It feels good.

“ So who was your crush then, huh ? “

“ Pff, I’m never gonna tell you that. “ Billy scoffs “ so how about that party ? “

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagines #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery fanfiction #dacre montgomery fanfic

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jungkookfeelz · 5 years ago

Text

Secrets

Description: After a terrible breakup with your boyfriend, you decide to take revenge. Bringing along the infamous mysterious bad boy Jeon Jungkook.

Words: 3K

Notes: I was so busy with school that I couldn’t write as much as I wanted to >.< I’m so sorry! I have to write a one-shot after this so the next chapter will come out a bit later than usual. In this chapter, Jungkook nor the other members show up yet (besides the explanation of Namjoon) so be prepared. I wanted to show Y/N’s family life and relationship before starting the real part of the story~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This summer has been too long, you were honestly ready for school to start up again. You had never been this excited for school, you were in your last year in high school, with the best boyfriend, you are always shocked remembering that you are dating one of the most popular guys in school. You weren't anything special, people knew you because of him but you like to think that they decided to stick around because of your cute charm. You had your best friend Namjoon to keep you company, you've known him since childhood so to say that you knew him all your life was the perfect description of your friendship. He challenged you mentally which you were thankful for. You couldn't do badly in school, not if you wanted a future.

You were the typical nerd with the exception that you loved soccer. You always watched it growing up with your dad before he passed, he always said "One day, Y/N you will be on TV" he repeated, after every game, it always made you giggle like a little child getting ice cream, your ambitions growing every time. But now that you are older you knew that it wasn't going to happen for you, given the fact that you weren't informed that there were try-outs in the summer for the varsity girls soccer team and didn't end up going, even your boyfriend didn't know about them and he's the captain of the varsity boys soccer team, that's how secretive it was. So you gave up trying to live up to your father's expectations. Your boyfriend Jae was the best thing in your life, he took care of you while your mother was doing god knows what with god knows who. It's not like you needed protection, you were a big girl but he just had the need to make sure you were okay which made your heart heavy with an appreciation for having him in your life.

You knew your mom had some mental issues that she was dealing with since your father passed away, she hadn't grieved her husband's death properly and hasn't let that wound heal, just slept with any guy that even smiled her way or worked late nights at the office any chance she could. You barely saw your mom, you missed her but couldn't help but feel anger every time you had to go to bed hearing her activities with the latest man or seeing him leave in embarrassment after she kicks them out in the morning, acting as nothing had happened. Trying to reason with her was pointless, she was a very hot-headed stubborn woman. She would always say something about her paying for the house which meant she could do anything that she pleased. You stopped trying after a few months.

You were sat at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal, looking intently at your phone than writing into your calendar book. You were getting your schedule prepared for the new semester, you had to do well so you could win a few grants and scholarships

"This would've been a lot easier if I played soccer, maybe then I would get a sports scholarship" You mutter to yourself sourly. You pursed your lips in distaste. You try not to think about the inevitable but you can't help it sometimes. Just as you were about to take another bite from your cereal you heard footsteps descending down the stairs

"Here we go..." rolling your eyes, you waited for the next man to get rejected by your lovely mother. He walked by the doorway, noticing you he stopped and walked into the kitchen.

"Hello, sweetheart...I didn't know you lived here" He smirked, you felt bile rising in your throat, of course, another perverted man wanting his dick wet "Please pack your belongings and leave my home," You say with no emotion, looking ahead of you, playing with your fingers on top of the table showcasing no fear. You were used to this, your mom didn't care about you, never defended you from these men. You used to have to cower under the bed before they leave. The man frowned, his eyes show anger. He probably didn't get this kind of treatment from women, his ego was obviously bruised. He walked closer to you as a show of dominance but you knew men like him from the back of your hand, the disgusting way they think they deserve everything they want without any consequences. You quickly got up and grabbed your phone, holding it up beside you as you glare at the towering man before you.

"If you don't leave this house in the next five seconds, I'm calling the cops" You raise an eyebrow, he wouldn't dare stay. You were underage. He scowled and walked away towards the door knowing he couldn't get what he desires. You. Leaving the house with a loud bang making the house quack. After sitting back down sighing, you fed yourself that spoonful of cereal that has been calling you since you heard the man come down. Finishing your bowl, you walked to the sink and rinsed your bowl before putting it on the drying rack, as you were about to grab the cereal box on the table, at the same time as your mother came in the line of your vision. Looking perfect in her tight black skirt, white blouse that was practically translucent and heels clacking every time she took a step

"Glad to see you made food for yourself... if you call that food" Your mother judged knowing that you had the same cereal every morning. You scowled at her form but couldn't form a comeback since she was, in fact, your mother. "I will be working late tonight, here's a 20, buy yourself pizza or something" your mother sighed before looking at herself in the mirror in the hallway by the kitchen putting on her favorite red lipstick.

"Shocker" You mumble, putting the money in your pocket

"Excuse me?" Your mother whipped around, glaring

"Nothing" You quickly say, giving her your best fake smile, trying not to get into trouble this early in the morning. She made a noise of approval before saying her goodbyes and leaving the house. She didn't even ask you if you saw the man and if you were okay, but that doesn't matter anymore to you, you learned long ago that she doesn't care for you as a mother should, you gave up trying to fix the relationship that you used to have with her when your father passed. You were only 12 years old when your mother abandoned you and instead paid attention to the many men in her bed.

You had a few days to relax before heading back to school so you decided to sit back on the couch and watch the highlights of past soccer games. Screaming every time they get a goal, or crying when an emotional moment had happened, you have watched this video so many times but can't help getting excited every time. Sitting around for a few hours, sending a few texts to your best friend Namjoon you were bored out of your mind. You wanted to see Jae but he was busy with soccer practices all day.

All of a sudden you get a phone call, seeing who was calling you made your smile appear on your face, quickly answering on the second ring. You had both talked for a total of five minutes, him stating he wanted to take you out to see a movie, and that he was going to pick you up in around 15 minutes or so. Quickly getting up and running up the stairs since you didn't have as much time as you like, you opened your door and started rummaging through your clothes to find the perfect outfit. In the end, you decided on a cute grey cropped knitted sweater with a bow on the back and a pair of tight dark blue jeans, you paired the outfit with some white converse. Just as you were looking over your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom, nicely messing up your hair you got a text, saying Jae was here. You squealed and sprinted out of your room, making sure to grab your purse and keys before you locked the door and walked into his car

"Hey, babe" Jae smiled, leaning in for a kiss, you turned your head slightly so his lips hit your cheek instead, you let out a breathy laugh when you looked at him again as Jae leaned back, getting comfortable in his seat, sighing.

you greeted him back

"Hey, so why the movies so early?" You asked, questioning his actions with a raised eyebrow and arms crossed over your chest, he didn't usually take you out much, preferred to hang out in the comforts of his home. You noticed his attention divert at your exposed chest making you put your hands down on your lap to try and hide them again

Jae looked back at your eyes and smirked: "What, I can't take my girlfriend to the movies anytime I please?" You rolled your eyes at his playfulness, hitting his arm as you giggled. He leaned in and captured your lips in a kiss, you parted your lips and kissed him back right away, gaining confidence he deepened the kiss by putting his hand on the back of your head, grabbing onto your hair, his other hand landed on your waist, playing with the hem of your shirt threatening to pull it up. You heart hammered and your breathing became uneven, putting your hands on his chest you muttered a quick 'stop' before pulling away. You could feel the disappointment radiating off of the man beside you which made you turn away from him and looked out the window at the passing houses. After a good ten minutes or so you made it to the movie theatre.

So, what are we watching..?" Crossing your hands behind your back as you smiled at him, you moved back and forth between the balls of your feet and your toes, trying to make the air a bit less tense.

"I know you love the whole romance jazz so I thought you'd appreciate if we watch 'Mood of The Day'" Jae winked at you before walking ahead to pay for the tickets. You frowned. You were more into the whole 'horror' 'thriller' type of vibe. Maybe he just wanted to watch this movie and didn't want to admit it. Shaking your head you ran up to your boyfriend just as he had paid for the two tickets. Finding a seat near the back you both sat down, as soon as the movie started and the lights went down you felt Jae's hand on your knee, you leaned into his shoulder and sighed in content, honestly, the movie was kind of boring, you didn't find the whole romantic topic as the most exciting but kept watching for the sake of your boyfriend, he kept his hands on your knee for a while before moving it upwards, you didn't mind until he touched your inner thigh, very close to your core. You tensed up, stomach doing flips you starting breathing unevenly again. Jae took your reactions positively as he kept moving upwards until he cupped your most intimate parts. You gasped and shot up in your seat, earning a few glares and 'shush's' from the people around you, you darted out of your seat and ran to the bathroom. Thankfully there was nobody inside. Putting your hands in the cold water, you put them to your face to cool off, sighing as you felt the cold water touch your heated skin. He hasn't been that forward with you in a while and it really shocked you, especially since you were in public. You heard the bathroom door open and shut loudly making you jump, you turned around and shouted

"Jae, you can't be in here!" you exclaimed trying to grab him, putting your hands on his chest to try and push him out of the woman's bathroom

"Why? It's not like we're going to do anything in here, Virgin Mary" He looked annoyed, putting his hand over his face and rubbing it. You gaped at him, your eyes were wide when you stared at him, you didn't expect him to say something like that to you. He never said anything so hurtful, tears formed in your eyes as your breaths became shallow. You wouldn't cry in front of him. You promised yourself long ago that no man was ever going to see your tears. Not after what you have been through. You put your hands by your sides and moved backward distancing yourself with him, moving deeper into the bathroom. You knew that this was going to happen, you always hoped that you were wrong and that he was okay with you being abstinent for the duration of your relationship. You hoped he would understand and be patient with you, but you weren't an idiot, you could see how he acted when you wouldn't give yourself to him. All of the disappointment in his eyes, and the way he acts so coldly afterward. You just needed more time. You thought that he would wait for you, be there for you. But you guessed wrong. Like always.

"W-Wh-?"

"I don't understand why we can't just have sex, everyone in our grade has had it and you had been blue balling me for two fucking years now. Why can't you do just one thing for me and let me have some fun" Jae had his arms in front of him, waving them around as it would help him in his argument. "I mean, I've shown you how much I wanted to sleep with you for over a year now and you aren't getting the hint. This relationship is seriously becoming a chore" Noticing your lack of response, and shaking form he continued "You know what it doesn't matter, I've been fucking any girl that would give herself to me since you wouldn't do it yourself"

This isn't real, you were happy, you were sure of it. Yeah, you both fought but what couple doesn't? "How long?" You finally muttered after a couple of minutes of intense staring at one another

"What?"

"How long have you been fucking these women? How long did I waste my time?"

"Since last year, I gave you a full year to make yourself comfortable but I guess there was no point in me waiting anymore" You nodded, feeling your hands shake from the anger. You watched him walk out of the bathroom, leaving a loud 'bang' from the door making you flinch. You stand there watching the door where your now ex-boyfriend stormed out of. You closed your eyes and breathed in and out slowly, trying to regain your composure. This was not how you planned your evening.

Jae had left you at the movie theatre on your own and so you had to walk all the way home on foot. You felt utterly humiliated and miserable. As soon as you walked into the house you saw a bra on the couch along with a man’s shirt and jeans. You shuddered in disgust.

"It is way too early for this shit" You mutter. you stomped upstairs making sure to make a lot of noise so your mom and her new lover can keep it down, which never ends up happening. You walked up to your room and collapsed on your bed. You put your head into your pillow and cried out silently. Hearing the banging on the wall from the bed from your mother's room, sighing you put on your headphones and put some comforting music before laying down fully after making sure your room was locked

Since it was only the afternoon by the time you came home from the movie theatre, you spent all day sitting around your room, cleaning, crying, and sleeping, making sure to keep your headphones on as to not hear disturbing sounds. By the time it was nine o clock you were passed out, waiting for the first day of school.

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Hope you liked it!

#secrets #bts #jungkook #namjoon #angst #fluff #Smut

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prisonrose · 5 years ago

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Mea Culpa || 24 Hour Journal