#i have a vivid picture of what i'd like to draw in my mind yet it never comes out right

[artsydevotee]

when sketching hair doesn't make me wanna rip out my limbs it's over for y'all

[paleparearchive]

With My Painting

Van Gogh's initial 1★ story (1/1)

Location: atelier (morning) | Characters: Van Gogh, Gauguin, Aoi/MC

Aoi: (Alright… Next, I'll restock the atelier with spare art supplies…)

Van Gogh: –Hey hey, Gauguin! How's this?

Gauguin: Ah… Yeah. It's not bad.

Aoi: (... Ah. What are those two talking about?)

Van Gogh: Really? Hooray!

Gauguin: Especially... I like this part. I feel like it's truly your style.

Van Gogh: Ah, that one! I was very meticulous about it!

Aoi: (What kind of picture is it? I'd like to see it.)

Van Gogh-kun, Gauguin-kun. I was wondering if I could take a look at it?

Van Gogh: Miss Curator! Look look, I just finished a new painting!

Aoi: Wooow…! What a lovely picture. The red flowers here are especially beautiful…!

Van Gogh: These are poppies, you see. I wanted to make an impression of them and I had a hard time deciding what kind of red to use.

Aoi: Fufu, looks like it was worth all the trouble. Because it was the first thing that caught my eye.

Gauguin: Both the background and the surrounding flowers are there to make the poppies stand out more… You have to calculate very carefully to get this… It's an elaborate painting of Van Gogh's ideas…

Aoi: Do you understand Van Gogh-kun's intention just by looking at this painting, Gauguin-kun?

Gauguin: Well… More or less…

For example... The color of this vase would correspond to the flowers over here.

Van Gogh: …! Right, right! I put some effort into that as well, amazing…!

Aoi: (Both of them keep on raising the bar as artists. As the curator, I… No, as the deputy director, I–)

… I want to be able to understand more about painting.

Gauguin: … Huh?

Aoi: I wanted to be like you, who could tell just by looking at it.

Van Gogh: Mmmh. In that case, the best thing to do is to look at different pictures! Look at my pictures as long as you like! For example… How about this one? I painted the night view!

Aoi: … Huh? You used blue as your main color, not black, even though it's nighttime.

Van Gogh: Yup. I thought it would make the stars and scenery stand out more.

Aoi: Sure, it might have a bit of a fantasy-like feel to it. It's like the real thing but with a slightly different view.

Van Gogh: How about this picture?

Aoi: … I wonder if the white color here is to emphasize the black? It burns a vivid image into your mind. And yet, it's also comforting…

Gauguin: … I think you know enough about painting without being in a hurry…

Van Gogh: Right, I think so too…?

Aoi: I'm not there yet at all. I want to read more into the meaning of the pictures.

Van Gogh: I'm glad to hear you say that much, but it's a bit embarrassing.

Aoi: I think every picture has a meaning. It is my job to convey that to the customers. Your paintings make me feel cheerful, but I think I should be able to explain why.

Van Gogh: …! Really? When you look at my paintings… Do you feel cheerful?

Aoi: That's my personal impression, but I think so.

Van Gogh: I see…!

Gauguin: … Good for you, Van Gogh.

Aoi: ? Good for him? Why?

Van Gogh: I paint pictures because I want to make everyone smile. So I'm glad that it was conveyed properly! Thanks, Miss Curator…!

Aoi: No, I should be thanking you for your nice drawings. Whenever you paint a new picture, please let me see it.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

AAAAAAAAA IHATEYOUBUTIALSOLOVEYOUSOMUCHBUTLIKEWHYYYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 no joke this is one of the best fics i’ve ever read i’ve never been so excited for someone to rip my heart out and feed it to sunfyre.

aaaanyways i was wondering what inspired this fic idea and do you think you’ll do more au fics like this in the future? eagerly awaiting ur next chapter i haven’t looking forward to a fic like this in so long

Thank you so much, I love you more than Sunfyre loves pieces of a mutilated Thanksgiving turkey 🥺😭🥰💜

NTTF is definitely a weird fic idea and I'd like to give you a nice detailed explanation of how I came up with it, but truly it was very random. 😂 I kept picturing Aegon in like 90s grunge outfits and hanging out in an old-fashioned little bar with Christmas lights and snow falling outside, broodingly sipping his rum and Cokes, and I was thinking okay???? but why??????????

And then I was lying in bed one day and got a vivid scene in my head (the ending of the series, which obviously I cannot tell you about yet), and I was like yes!!!! there is a story here!!!!!!!!!!!! and then over the next few days I did a LOT of research into life in Alaska and the 90s in general to make sure the plot would work out the way I envisioned it. Honestly I still have to Google things constantly because I've never been to Alaska and I was very young during the 90s so I don't have a lot of real-life experiences to draw from. 😂

Basically fic ideas tend to appear out of nowhere and then possess me like a demon. Future AUs are DEFINITELY possible but I don't have a specific one in mind yet. 💜

[a-place-out-of-mind]

Dream Log

04-14-2020

This dream was a long continuous one without any kind of comprehensive transitions in between. It felt like a bunch of memories playing one after the other, without obvious connections. It's bizzare :

I was in a club dancing with a lot of people that I felt like I knew -in the dream-. I was having fun, I was almost peaking.

All of a sudden I was in some kind of a vacation house with some family. I was trying very hard to sleep. I switched rooms and all that but I can't seem to fall asleep at all. I was very aware of the feeling that I had just recently lost someone or broken up with someone so I just wanted to sleep. There was no context, I didn't even have a mental image of the guy that I dated, I just knew that the pain was real, it was there and I just wanted it to go away. I gave up trying to sleep and just ended up staring into space, eyes open but not seeing. If I can't sleep, maybe I could at least blank out. Then an aunt who was standing by the door frame looked at me with what only looked like pity.

Then I was in a place with five or six girls, it's just a room lined with single white beds. I didn't know why we're there but I know that we can't leave the room. We didn't know each other but we were stuck in a room so we all ended up being friends. I didn't know how long we were there for, but it felt like a long time and I grew especially close to one girl. One night we were just dancing around. We we're having so much fun I accidentally kicked someone's shoulder and we just laughed it off. It really felt like we already formed some kind of bond inside that room and we understand each other without saying much. I laid on the bed of the girl that I was closest to while the other girls were already in deep slumber. We we're just talking, still feeling good from all the dancing. It felt like a good night. It's the kind of "feel good" that assures every part of you that "nothing could possibly go wrong after this". We we're both fighting off sleep and I can see her eyelids drooping but she never stopped asking questions and telling stories - still trying to make the conversation going.

I woke up hugging her. Or so I thought. I ran my hand to the lump between my arms and realized that I was hugging her pillow and blanket. Another girl came up to me and told me that she died and her body has been cremated. I didn't know how and when because we were just talking the night before. Did she die in her sleep? I do not know.

I walked to the window and saw a picture perfect day. The kind that people take pictures of or paint or draw but I knew I'd never want to remember that day ever again.

I can hear someone crying. I thought it was me but it was someone else. I felt like I was hearing sounds somewhere outside of my mind. Like I am disconnected in some way. There's something separating the outside and the inside of my mind or my body, I wasn't sure. I was sobbing and wailing internally but my face failed to show anything.

I heard a window crack open, the girls shouting as if in panic and I heard thump on the ground a few floors below our room's window. What a seemingly soft thump for something that could take the life out of someone.

I didn't dare look down. The cries only grew louder.

I was in a different place again. I have a vivid recollection of my time in that room. I was walking on top of this tower. Trying to decide whether I should run or stay still, walk or jump or maybe just go down. I went inside through a window, and climbed back down. Strangely, when I got to the ground, I saw my parents and we were standing on a line going inside a university. How I got there after climbing down the tower beats me. It's like a snap and I was there. I didn't know what we were lining up for until the guards told my parents that we can't go inside yet because the graduation will not start for another hour but my parents said we have a place reserved inside. I wasn't sure who was graduating.

When we got inside, I was expecting to see something that looks like a school event. But all I saw was the same vacation house from the beginning of this dream.