#i have a thirst for knowledge. yes this includes math and sciences
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static-void · 1 year ago
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I got literature and arts fatigue genuinely bc I pigeonholed myself So bad into "I can only do stuff here" that I uh. well. that's all I did for years
& nobody really influenced that, it was just a bad combination of circumstances (somewhat including a bad habit I saw and sometimes still see to moralize those as the Good thing, bc almost nobody was doing them and the ones who were doing it weren't doing it "the right way"/"for the right reasons". & unfortunately this happened around the time I was still susceptible to that and I wanted to be Good, so. I was like 16 at the time, it's been a handful of years)
so I kinda needed. A break. I've just been kind of coasting on what I knew when I graduated, which is a considerable amount (again. hamlet analysis paper and soliloquy translations. beowulf. my 12th grade English teacher was an old classics sort of person.), and doing very informal analysis on discord. until I feel like I've caught up a bit in other areas.
Since most of my passion for it came from "this is the only thing I don't feel like I suck at", and that's not the most stable foundation for enjoyment of a subject, I probably won't ever have that vigor for it again, but ultimately, I did learn a fair amount of technical and useful applications of comprehension & analysis, so it worked out
(My thoughts on history are, for the record: it's a very important subject, and knowing what has happened in history is essential to understanding modern events. however when it comes to history I can't conjure the. poetic nature that seems quite popular on here*. So I learn it because I need to know, but it doesn't really make me feel any sort of way.)
*having difficulty waxing poetic & talking nice is probably caused by the same thing causing the other mild roadblock I've hit, that being that I'm not a very Whimsical person. which is probably bc I am, as the people like to say, Too Serious
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darkpetal16 · 6 years ago
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Pride & Humility - Chapter One
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood Fanfiction
Genres: Gen, Friendship, Family, Adventure, Hurt, Comfort
Summary: “Friends look the other way. Best friends eat the body.” -Selim B. The story about an innocent and disturbing friendship between homunculus and human. Old soul OC. Surprisingly wholesome. 
Warnings: Violence, gore, death, excessive child abuse, profanity
Beta: Taintedletter
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. Elizabeth belongs to Midnightwishes, but I will be borrowing her for this journey. 
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This will be my only beginning A/N.
This is a tribute story to Midnightwishes. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world, and hope you’re able to enjoy your next great adventure. Rest in peace, sweetheart.
This story was originally going to be my very first fanfiction, but I lost motivation when I lost my friend. I made a hard switch to the Naruto/Pokemon fandom, and found it difficult to return to FMA.
When I clearing out my drop box, I found this old story again, and… well, here we are.
This story is a slow build up.
This is NOT an EdOC, AlOC, or RoyOC story. I am perfectly happy with their canonical pairings.
Note about canon / AU: This is to clarify the established canon in my story.
In the manga / wiki it’s stated that Pride is able to adjust the age range of his container by around 5ish years. I’m going to go ahead and AU it so that he can freely adjust the age of his container to whatever he wants it to be.
Did you know that Bradley’s first name is King? I did not until I checked the wiki, so führer Bradley is named King Bradley here.
Mrs. Bradley will also get a lovely first name, because she very much deserves it: Katherine.
Lastly, King Bradley genuinely loves his wife.
Smart!OC, so if you don’t like reading about OCs with high levels of book-smart intelligence, this won’t be your cup of tea.
This story will eventually be posted on Fanfiction.net and Wattpad, but for the moment it will remain on tumblr until I write enough of it. 
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Death was not the end, nor the beginning. It was a bump in the road, an interlude in the story.
Dying did not mean one ceased to exist, but rather, one’s existence changed.
Memories are not meant to survive the transformation, but there are always exceptions. When taking the first breath in a new body, one can usually remember the last breath in the old body.
But too soon what defined the previous life will fade away, and the new life will be given a (mostly) blank slate.
They’ll likely still retain some knowledge, some experiences, or information too vital to forget. Maybe they’ll remember the face of their lover, or their talent for music. Maybe they’ll be drawn to an old friend, or they’ll retain unexplainable fear over a past lives trauma.
Someone terrified of the ocean might have drowned in their previous life.
A man or women overcome with unshakable insecurities might have been cruelly hurt before.
Regardless, death and birth did not mark the end or beginning for one’s existence.
It simply meant a change in scenery for that soul.
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This is the journey of one such soul being born in a world it was not meant to be a part of.
It, like all the others, knew it had been reborn at first.
But unlike the others, memories of its past lives did not flee right away.
No.
Oddly enough, they stayed for a solid three years. And even when those cherished memories of dear friends and family left the soul, knowledge remained.
Knowledge of math and science.
Of medicine.
And of an undeniable, insatiable thirst for more.
More knowledge.
More adventures.
More everything.
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Elizabeth Luxanna was born to the estranged daughter of a retired general. The daughter, Hannah Luxanna, had eloped with a simple farmer after a bitter argument between her father—Crow Luxanna—and mother—Isabella Luxanna.
Hannah enjoyed over a decade of blissful marriage before her husband tragically died from an unknown illness. To make matters worse, Hannah was pregnant, and they had lost their home in a terrible fire.
With nowhere else to go, Hannah returned home to find her mother already dead, and her father consumed with bitterness and regret.
Crow accepted his daughter back with great reluctance, and the time leading up to Elizabeth’s birth was filled with despair and grief for Hannah.
The young woman’s heart gave out after birth, and she left her only daughter orphaned.
Crow Luxanna adopted his granddaughter, but he did so with a thoroughly broken and blackened heart.
He did not know how to handle her.
He did not want to handle her.
So he hired plenty of servants to take care of her for the first year of her life, and dismissed them shortly afterward.
Next came tutors.
So soon? Some might ask.
But Crow Luxanna did not want to raise a granddaughter. No, he wanted to force her to grow up as soon as possible and send her out.
Ideally into the military.
And when Elizabeth Luxanna began to show exemplary intelligence, and whispers of a prodigy started to arise, Crow Luxanna finally took an interest in his granddaughter.
And what a shame, that was.
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Grandfather Crow was a short, well-dressed man. He was a proud retired general, and had high expectations for all those around him. Rules were meant to be strictly adhered to, and when boundaries were pushed too much he enforced harsh punishments.
He wasn’t one for social visits. Not even for his last living family.
Elizabeth was quiet, well-behaved, and completely devoted to her studies. It became blatantly apparent early on that she had difficulty connecting to her peers, and after enough incidents her grandfather forbade other children from entering their home.
She rarely saw anyone aside from her tutors.
Especially Grandfather.
Which was why when Grandfather told her to eat dinner with him, she was surprised.
Thankfully, he cut straight to the chase and explained why he was there.
“The exam you did yesterday, do you remember it?” Grandfather inquired stiffly, his well-groomed mustache quivering as he tried out a smile. It looked terribly awkward on him.
The young girl nodded at his question. After months of completely devouring her lessons, and answering all of her tutors’ questions they had come together and devised an extensive exam for the heiress. It took Elizabeth six hours to complete, and the trio (one for science & math, one for history & English, and one for etiquette) watched her intensely the entire time.
Grandfather tapped his fingers on the table, his dark eyes staring straight through her. “Mm. Yes, well, you’ve exceeded expectations. Your intelligence is remarkable for someone your age, a true prodigy.” Again Grandfather tapped his fingers, and his gaze didn’t seem to notice her anymore. “The military will want your mind, do you understand?”
Elizabeth mutely shook her head.
“They will want you,” Grandfather repeated. “I am a loyal soldier, so I will not refuse them.”
Her brow furrowed as she tried to follow the conversation. “I’m going to be enlisted?”
Grandfather blinked once, now focusing on Elizabeth. “Yes, and no. You are too young, but… But they will claim you one way or another. I want to make sure you survive, and do our family proud.”
“Why would they claim me?”
“You are a talented child, and I am a loyal soldier,” Grandfather repeated. “Retired or not, I would sacrifice everything for my country, for my führer.”
Including you, went unsaid.
“Your mind… yes. It will be good for the military. For Central. You will serve our führer well,” Grandfather Crow said.
There was no permission to be sought out.
There was no debating, or discussion.
Elizabeth knew in her heart that there was no fighting this.
She was a single little girl, who just so happened to be a little good at math and science.
She had no power to refuse.
No confidence to say no.
Even a hint of disobedience would land Elizabeth locked away in her room, with no lights, or food for however long her grandfather wanted.
She had nowhere to go, and no one to turn to.
So Elizabeth swallowed back her nerves and tried out a wobbly (fake) smile. “Yes, Grandfather.”
The retired general smiled. It was disturbing to see. “A mind like yours… They need State Alchemists. Yes, you will do well there. I will hire a new tutor for you.”
“Yes, Grandfather.”
And that was that.
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“I am Lisa Delve,” introduced a middle-aged woman. Her graying hair was swept up in a tight bun, and she dressed very modestly. Her dark blue eyes narrowed when she looked at Elizabeth, and a sneer curled back on her lips. “You are my student?”
“I am,�� Elizabeth answered quietly, her green eyes lowering when she saw the plain scorn in the women’s eyes.
She knew then that Mrs. Delve would not be any companion to Elizabeth.
“A big game was talked up about you. Do not disappoint,” Mrs. Delve said, her voice clipped. She turned her back to young curly-haired brunette, and began to draw on the blackboard.
All tutoring was done in the small library, where not a window could be seen. It was dark, dreary, and stuffy.
Elizabeth wished she was anywhere but there.
“This,” Mrs. Delve said as she finished her drawing, “is a basic transmutation circle. Memorize it. I am told you already know your periodic table?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Recite it.”
Elizabeth did as ordered, and the alchemist scoffed. “Speak up, girl. You are the heiress of the prestigious Luxanna family, and the granddaughter of one of our greatest generals. Have you not taken any etiquette classes?”
“I have, ma’am,” Elizabeth said, sitting up straighter in her uncomfortable wooden seat. “Sorry, ma’am.”
“It’s not me you be apologizing to, but your family,” Mrs. Delve snapped. “Have you done any reading into alchemy before this session?”
“Only that human transmutation is illegal, and dangerous,” Elizabeth softly responded. She only knew that because it was mentioned offhandedly in a biology textbook.
But that was fine.
Elizabeth had no interest in human transmutation.
No, what drew her focus was botany and how alchemy could be applied there.
She couldn’t find any concrete information on alchemists who worked with plants. She knew it had to be a difficult science since alchemy applied to any living organism was tricky, but she didn’t think it would be that hard.
Plants didn’t have nervous systems, after all.
And if she could find a way to create hybrid plants, she might be able to invent new species of plants that were more effective than modern medicine.
At least, that was her initial hope.
“Rudimentary. Very well, let us begin. Do keep up, as I will not be repeating myself.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
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Elizabeth Luxanna was largely left alone.
At first, when she was mentally a grown adult who enjoyed her solitude just fine, she had no complaints.
She was an unusually obedient and quiet child, and as long as she was given enough books to read, she didn’t complain.
If she did complain, she’d be immediately locked in her bedroom and forced into isolation for however many days her Grandfather saw fit. Food would be shoved through the slot in the door, and not a single peep was allowed to be heard.
Since Elizabeth was an adult (a very, very old one at that), she was able to comply with these rules without much fuss.
But when her adult memories slipped away from her one night, and she was suddenly left a child without any companionship, being alone started to bother her.
Grandfather Crow was a stern man, and had no patience to raise a granddaughter. All the servants that worked for the Luxanna family were veterans who had to retire premature, and were uncomfortable dealing with Elizabeth.
While she no longer had all the memories that made Elizabeth an old adult, she retained her knowledge of math, science, and other similar topics. She couldn’t explain how she knew what she knew, either, which gave others the wrong impression about her.
At first glances Elizabeth was a child with a seemingly high intellect.
From the Grandfather’s Crow point of view this was to be taken advantage of for the betterment of his country, of his führer. It was an asset to be used to its maximum potential.
But from Elizabeth’s point of view it simply made it that much harder to connect with others.
Children her age didn’t even understand what an electron was, let alone wanted to talk about it.
Adults either didn’t take her seriously, or only saw her as someone to be used.
There was no way for Elizabeth to form any kind of positive bond, let alone a friendship.
For five years she was confined to a bitter home without a single person to care for her.
This made for a terribly lonely little girl.
So painfully lonely she would wish for any kind of friendship.
For anyone to show her even an iota of warmth.
And then came the day that person showed up.
Her only friend.
Selim Bradley.
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Welcome back to my loyal readers, and hello to new ones!
Cover by @cantrona.
Question: Would you open the gates to Truth? What for, and what would you sacrifice?
Reviews are love!
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