#i have a few ideas for his but i havent really solidified any of them more just draft them in another canvas

[skaluli]

my little fortress : fighting is magic scout + bonus sniper

(top left is my concept/ideas for snipers cutiemark ill make a final design one day

these 3 thingys are from a while ago

[cryptidfuckery]

Do you plan/write a story in chronological order or just put it down as it comes to you? Trying to figure out how far afield the latter puts me, even if there’s not a “right” way to do it.

hi heres some completely unrequested writing tips sorry for the long post :) i misread the ask before i started writing so. yeah. in short i don't write chronologically, except when I'm writing the beginning?

the first scene i wrote for this is literally the rising climax of the story. i had no idea what I wanted to do with it from there but it just kept evolving until now I'm writing a whole year spanned over 20 chapter fic.

When I started this one (mind you i havent written in like 7 years) I just wrote what came to me, what ideas made me excited. Basically whatever was bringing me joy to write, whatever was fun to expand it into. Purely self indulgent for myself to reread over and over and over, no real plan to post it.

Then I got the brainworm about it and couldn't stop thinking about it and I knocked out over 20k in a month which was. Also due to me being massively depressed and distracting myself.

But in this time I got a sketch book and started planning out a bigger story, something to compliment the original idea and inspiration while also giving a satisfying story between the characters (also figuring out overarching plot, drew out a plot mountain at one point to see where I was lacking, jotting down ideas just to get them down so I could let them simmer in the back of my mind, jotting down phrases or ideas for dialouge, etc) basically just. playing in the space and seeing what ended up feeling most satisfying as a whole story

WOOF OKAY THERES MORE im so sorry you caught me at 1am and im high

Once I got the overall idea of what I wanted to do, I started mapping out chapters, but mostly getting a rough idea of where i wanted things to go in the story. I am being VERY diligent to remember that this is all mutable and nothing is set in stone and its MORE FUN that way

At this point I'm still just writing whats enjoyable and coming to me naturally. Once I started solidifying more of the plot and ideas I started working on some of the parts that just needed to be done re: the very beginning. And i fucking hate the very very beginning right now i cant wait to rewrite it but i am NOT LETTING MYSELF DO THAT.

DO NOT GO BACK AND EDIT SIGNIFIGANTLY. If you catch yourself rereading it and adjusting a few things, fine. But if you find any major inconsistencies either make a mental note or leave a comment or something and then just leave it. It'll be there to fix later. It doesn't matter. Leave a fuckin [insert name of kitchen utensil here] if you don't remember. Who cares. It's your first draft.

OKAY now onto how I've been writing the scenes that don't come as naturally to me

I let the scene simmer for a while in my brain. I entertain different ideas and approaches and jot down anything that feels right. Usually for me I'll get a clear line of dialogue or interaction that feels like a good creative starting point

2. I listen to music when I write bc I have adhd, but im curious to know if this would work for other people too! I have a playlist I curated for the fic that I have listened to. A lot. A lot. Like a Lot. Like most mornings on my way to work. this 1) helps me play in my head with the blorbos and 2) gives me a good emotional basis to bounce ideas off of if I'm stumped on a scene.

I literally just gave my friend @docninj this advice. Pick a song that represents the emotion you're trying to convey in the scene youre trying to write. Could be overall emotion, emotion of the narrator, main character's emotions, whatever. Then play that song on repeat until you don't really hear it anymore. Then try writing. I'll also switch songs if the mood of the scene changes. For me it helps me bounce the emotions I'm trying to write off of something that represents it? god dude idk.

god that was a lot idk why i wrote all of it but hey if it helps someone what the hell.

[gjjokok]

43 - August 5, 2024

Hi mom, normally I would call you right when i get back from a trip to tell you how it went, so ill pretend im having a conversation with you and tell you about everything i would normally tell you (i would also normally be talking to you every day through out the trip so its been weird not being able to do that).

We were in Belgium for the first 4 or 5 days and thank god we had the festival to go to every night because Brussels was truly an unremarkable city. It had some cute streets with stores and restaurants and it had some nice historical churches and buildings, but it is otherwise such a grey and boring city. The festival was amazing - I wish i could show you pictures of the different stages and of our outfits we wore. I think it would really surprise you how good the stage production is for a rave - i had never seen anything like it before. The music was also great, but what stood out most about the experience was how great it was to bond with friends and with new people I had just met. Going to Miami in March was mostly when i first got closer with my friends but this trip really solidified how close I am with them - we were all able to exist and travel together without any fights and we all just such a great time. There were also a lot of moments later at night when we were hanging out drinking and able to talk so openly about our feelings without any judgment for eachother. I really wish you could meet some of these friends, or at least just see pictures of us, so you could see how happy and included I feel with them.

Anyways, after we left Belgium on monday and went to Copenhagen, i was even more happy because my friends loved copenhagen from the moment we landed at 12am and went to mcdonalds. The area and hotel were so cute, and we had this really funny experience of seeing drunk danish people yelling and laughing at 12am on a monday in the mcdonalds. The city already felt a lot more comfortable and interesting than Belgium, and since it was my idea to go to copenhagen, i was so happy they liked it. We didnt do too much in Copenhagen since jt was just to relax in between Brussels and Amsterdam but we had a lot of fun as a group swimming off piers or trying danish food. Havent really spoken to my dad in a few months (since you passed) but ill text him to tell him about the trip.

On thursday we went to Amsterdam and it was mostly just so much fun. A lot of gay parties that I wont give you more details on but I met a lot of new people from all over the world and got along with a lot of them. Also had a good time with friends- even though this was a party trip, it was mostly friend focused which was nice.

I met one guy on the trip that I really liked - his names Yanda and he’s from Singapore. He knew some of my friends already so they introduced me when we went to a tomorowland pre party on the Thursday in Belgium (because i asked them

To introduce me because i thought he was so cute). I wish i could show you pictures of him - hes pretty short maybe 5’7 or 5’8 which is in my perfect height range, he has really cute eyes that almost completely close when he smiles, and he has kind of fluffy, shaggy hair which is really cute and is nice to run my hands through when we were dancing or kissing (all we did was kiss, nothing more, on account of he had another rave bae that he was staying with). He told me how they were into eachother during tomorrowland (which is probably why i didnt see him too much during the festival) but Yanda lost feelings for the guy during amsterdam, and i was flattered that he was into me because he was clearly spending more time with me than the other guy. I hungout with him at the parties all night friday and saturday. He left a bit earlier than me on saturday, and he didnt go to the sunday party because he was leaving to London on sunday, and i almost cried when he left. Even though i had other friends and other guys to talk to, all i really wanted to do was dance with him and have him lean his head on my shoulder. Anyways, like I said he lives in Singapore so it cant really turn into anything more. But he will be in America for EDC in May so Ill see him then, and he said he might visit america before then, and if I go to White Party then ill stop by singapore and see him then. I loved meeting him which unfortunately means im pretty discouraged from talking to other boys when i get back to nyc, but it is nice to have a crush on someone again - i havent really liked anyone since John which obviously ended really poorly in January…

Im back on the plane now from Amaterdam to Toronto then to NYC - there has been so many issues with all of our planes with cancellations and delays and missed connections, so im happy to be going home. Im watching a movie about a gay couple where the main guy has dead parents so of course im crying (because I miss you and also because Im longing for a boyfriend still)

This trip was definitely a bit degenerate with all the partying, but I really am trying to be good and responsible for you ans I hope Im making decisions youd be proud of. I love you so much and miss you so much and I wish i could talk to you (i guess I am kind of talking to you through this entry, but I wish I could hear your voice and answer all your questions)

Will talk to you again soon

Love

Griffin

[jaekaicx]

so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

[seaquestions]

fulcrum makes candy

i havent be able to work on any of my fics bcos i’ve been busy (and terribly unmotivated lately) but! i thought i’d post a wip since it reads as mostly finished so far.

(artistic licence for science stuff btw. i’m basically writing what should be chemistry as confectionery lmao.)

It all started when Crankcase told him about meeting up with CONS4EVA again.

Or Symbols, rather. The dimension-hopping Dire Wraith figured that a Cybertronian translation of his name would be a smidge less awkward than using his TBC handle or a mispronounced, synthesized version of his actual name. It sounded about the same to him with the universal translator, so no big deal. Crankcase still tried to say his real name right anyway.

Regardless. The point was--Fulcrum needed to make more energon goodies. The last batch had unfortunately been thrown in Symbols' face when the Dire Wraith was disguised as Thunderwing, so it was imperative to try again. He also ate all the good ones last time, which, note to self: don't do that, Fulcrum.

He almost forgot to ask, actually, if Symbols was even capable of eating the sweets. The answer had been yes, maybe. The Dire Wraith could \consume/ energon, but whether or not it'd taste any good or if it would all end up regurgitated on the floor was a mystery. Still! Fulcrum needed any excuse he could get to make goodies.

The pressure of being around so many Autobots was starting to get to him, a little. His proximity alerts kept popping up, all the time, because none of these people had any sense of personal space. Plus, do you have any idea how many times he had to frantically re-label someone from [enemy] to [ally]? It was a lot! His drop on Clemency might not have killed him, but it certainly didn't do him any good. He had to do all that manually, now. It was stressful, okay?

And Fulcrum liked to stress-bake. When he \could/, anyway. It was certainly better than some of his \other/ coping methods. But there usually wasn't enough energon on the WAP to go around making candy, so it had been saved for the particularly bad nervous breakdowns or for special occasions, like successfully escaping mortal danger or Crankcase going on a date.

Thankfully, the Lost Light seemed to have plenty of fuel for both itself and its passengers, which was beyond nice. Fulcrum had reluctantly gotten used to the whole siphoning and cannibalising thing while living as a Scavenger, but boy was it good to be back to consuming real energon. He might actually be able to make more than just plain gelled energon cubes! But since he didn't \actually/ know if Symbols could enjoy the treats, he'd keep it simple... This time.

The hard part was getting the equipment to make candy in the first place. He didn't know if there was a kitchen area on the Lost Light, but even if there was, he didn't really want to make candy around other people. He knew, from experience, that it was a bad idea. But the anxiety of asking someone for materials left him paralysed, and he almost gave up on the goodies entirely if it wasn't for Krok.

The mech, Primus bless his spark, had gone to ask the command staff in his stead, and surely enough, Krok arrived in Fulcrum's room arms full of everything the K-Con needed and more, in both equipment and ingredients.

"The captain got real excited when he heard that someone was thinking of making sweets," he said, with smiling optics, "A lot of these weren't even on your list."

And so, Fulcrum got started.

Cooking might seem a little daunting for the average Cybertronian. Energon had a reputation of being volatile, to an almost comical level. Heat it up a bit too much, and it just might explode. Every element had their own distinct flavour that changed wildly based on their interactions with other substances, and it was impossible to memorise them all! Or so it seemed. But in reality, it wasn't so difficult. At least to him it wasn't.

For a mech with absolutely no background in chemistry or metallurgy, Fulcrum took to the culinary arts very well. While he might not fully understand the hows and the whys of chemical reactions, he definitely knew what was delicious and what wasn't.

The first step was making the flavouring. Energon itself, in its processed liquid form, was virtually tasteless, so this was important. Adding simple ingredients like copper shavings, which had a tangy, sour taste to it and chromium flakes, which was just plain sweet, was the most basic form of food preparation.

Just dumping metal into energon felt a bit amateurish to Fulcrum, though. He wanted the goodies to have a consistent look and taste to them, like they were professionally made.

So, the little metal flakes--he went with copper, cobalt (tart, with a subtle sweetness), iron (bittersweet and kinda savoury) and cadmium (mildly sweet and rich, his personal favourite)--were finely ground into a powder alongside pigments to add variety to the colour palette. He didn't want everything to be bright neon pink. One had to differentiate between the flavours somehow. Plus, the pigments themselves could also add to the taste, depending on what you chose. Unless you bought those tasteless food dyes, but those are for cowards, and in the kitchen, Fulcrum was not one.

Cadmium sulfide, for example, worked as a yellow dye, but gave the energon a certain acidic sharpness that wasn't there before, thanks to the sulfur. Cadmium \selenide/, on the other hand, was a deep red pigment that went beyond sharp and turned it into full-blown spicy. But Fulcrum was supposed to be making sweet treats here. So instead, he paired the cadmium shavings with chrome yellow, or lead chromate, to enhance the sweetness of the pure cadmium.

The cobalt and iron powders were simple, matched with cobalt aluminate (blue) and iron oxide (red). Classic choices, though he had to be careful with the latter, because it could very easily start tasting like actual rust, which was simply disgusting. He \could/ use the mercury-based vermillion instead, which was also savoury, but again, Fulcrum was not a coward. In candy-making, anyway.

The last one, however, he always had to have a whole internal debate over. Copper-based pigments tended towards greens and blues, but that wasn't really what people thought of, now was it? He could use gold ochre, but the iron-based pigment didn't really mesh well with copper, in \his/ opinion. He could mix a cadmium orange, but, again, he didn't want his candy to be spicy.

In the end, he just went with the basic green copper carbonate.

Alright! With that done, it was time to work on the energon itself.

In a large pot, Fulcrum gently heated the liquid fuel up, slowly pouring in a gelling agent that he had warmed up earlier. Under normal circumstances, regular processed energon did not solidify. To do so, you'd have to freeze it or leave it out for \way/ too long, letting it congeal, which was gross. (Looking at you, Misfire.) The gelling agent would let the fuel cool into a nice firm slab of jelly.

He then added one and a half cups of crushed lead acetate, stirring constantly to dissolve the sweetener in the energon until no particles were left in the semi-opaque pink liquid. It had also gotten lighter, light enough that the dyes wouldn't end up mixing into really ugly colours.

When the mixture started to bubble the tiniest little bit, Fulcrum took the pot off the heat, pouring the fuel into four bowls, one for each flavour, that he then mixed with the corresponding pigment. Red iron, blue cobalt, green copper and yellow cadmium.

The jelly would need a flat plane to cool on, of course. When Fulcrum went to grab a tray though, he noticed that he'd also been provided with plastic molds. Someone else must've been into cooking, then. He wondered who it could be, maybe they could share tips or something.

The molds were pretty basic shapes, like stars and circles, but it was nice of them to have given him this, whoever it was. He should use them then. If he poured the blue cobalt into the circle ones, it could look like little sparks... which was a really cute idea.

...He did it. Of course he did.

Blue sparks, yellow stars, red cyberkittens and green raindrops. It was almost unbearably adorable.

The leftover fuel was poured onto the same tray, creating some neat rainbow gradients. They were pretty to look at but to be honest, he had no idea how those parts would taste. Welp! Who cares!

Fulcrum stretched.

That was the hard part done. He put all of the filled up casts inside his room's mini-fridge. A few hours and they'll be solid. At that point, he'd have to take them out of the molds and cut the leftover ones into little cubes. Then after \that/, he'd have to leave them out to dry overnight so the goodies could form their crisp exterior, while also exercising enough self-restraint to not surreptitiously pop one into his mouth.

Oof. Forget what he said, the hard part hasn't been done yet, actually.

Still. This meant that he had time to take a break.

[inanimate-insanity-headcanons]

The fanficnfdshidsh

   Nickel goes to the Perilous Forest often.

    He usually sneaks out of the hotel, but in the, extremely, off chance he slips up and someone else catches him, just bluntly announces it to that person that hes going to be in the forest. No one knows what nickel does in there. Nor why he goes.

   When people talk about nickel the topic always comes up.

   Trophy and Cherries have started to make rumors and jokes about how Nickel is secretly a nymph or a fae. Or, for shits and giggles, a fairy. Just some sort of nature spirit or creature that fakes being human and the Perilous forest is secretly his home in general.

   Some, secretly, thoroughly believe it due to evidence.

   The evidence being whenever the forest is brought up, Nickel starts acting  bit weird and talks about it like its a nostalgic place to him, like a safe haven, almost like its his home. And his seemingly abnormal knowledge about animals, as well as how to heal them, and plants, and the fact that all animals seemingly like and understand him.

   Paper, one of the people who believes it, claims that he once saw Nickel cup his hands around a wilting flower, and after he removed them, the plant was magically back to its prevoiusly healthy self.

   Even with that belief to give an idea, no one really knows. Well, Baseball probably knows, but hes still in the show, not with the rest of the eliminated contestants.

   Speaking of people in the show, Turns out they wonder what he does too. Whenever they catch him sneaking into the forest, of course.

   Some contestants sometimes talk about the topic when they spot Nickel. Baseball, as it turns out he doesnt really know, is one of them. And he wanted to figure it out.

   Following Nickel into the forest seems like the best idea. It might be a difficult task, due to how tall and rather…hefty…he is, Baseball might be too loud to be sneaky enough to follow Him un detected, but it also might be easier than what he expects, due to being in the forest before with Nickel and knowing he way around, sort of.

   After seeing Nickel start his own trek towards the forest, Baseball observed him carefully, planning on how he will make it to the forest, how he will keep track of where Nickel is, and how he wont get lost going back to where the show takes place.

   The first parts may be difficult.

   After solidifying his plan, he starts his walk to catch up to his best friend.   Untill he is interrupted by a familiar voice asking “where are you going?”.

   Baseball turns around to see Knife, and, due to himself being such a towering man, having to partially look down to properly see Knifes face.

   They havent talked to eachother in quite some time.   Knife hasn’t gotten a good look at Baseballs face in a while, but now that he is he can see how downcast he is.

   The poor guys eyes looked a bit dull, and their original bright and lively ruby color seems a bit faded in hue. He looks paler also, and just looks depressed overall. Baseball has, extremely slowly, been getting better since Testtube started comforting him, but Nickels elimination seems to have taken a permanent toll on him.

   Yet, the look in his eyes seems almost happy.

   “I was going to see what Nickel does whenever he goes into the forest” Baseball responds.

   Knifes expression seemed to change, almost soften slightly, before hardening back to his usual “tough guy” composure.

    Soon furrowing his eyebrows, more than normal, he the asks “Why?”

   “well.. I want to figure out if the rumors are actually true, i’m sure you’ve heard them” Baseball answers, Before turning about and starting to make his careful walk to catch up to Nickel unnoticed.

   Yes, the rumors.

   As it turns out, the in-game contestants also have started the same rumors as the eliminatees have. They where started by lightbulb for the same reasons, minus the acting weird. Sort of. Around them, when he was still in the show, Nickel seem to get happier around the forest. Everyone noticed it.

   Nobody had any experiences like Paper, but some contestants with a keen eye seem to have noticed that the grass under and around Nickel seems greener and the flowers seem brighter.

   Knife only let out a small “oh, huh” before he silently watched Baseball turn and continue following his own best friend. He was tempted to stop the latter, but even he is curious to see what Nickel does in there.

   Baseball has only entered the forest with him a couple of times, and they only go to set locations, and nothing was out of the ordinary with Nickel other than some sweet times like when small, cute insects, like butterflies, landed on Nickels hand once he held it out.

   While walking, Baseball pulls out a small box from his jackets pocket, opening it to see the small collection he has aquired over time.

   Different types of flowers that seem to never wilt, colorful rocks, and shiny objects make up most of its contents. Just a small bunch of little trinkets he was given by Nickel that where either found in the forest or were already owned.   Nickel had always liked to collect things like those, all because they peaked his interest, or, as Baseball soon found out as he got to know him, Nickel thought they would make Baseball happy.

   And they did.

   Anyway, Baseball soon snapped back to reality and made his way to the edge of the forest, somehow before he lost sight of Nickel. This is when He had to be careful, as if he was to make any noise, Nickel would be alerted.

   Stopping only when Nickel stopped to pick up randoms items he finds or when an animal interacts with him.

   Making haste, he followed Nickel. Until Nickel took a turn and dissapeared once Baseball turned that same corner.

   “Damnit” he muttered. He lost him. He turned and pondered if he should give up and exit the forest.

   Baseball decided against it and turned back around, restarting he quick pace as he navigated through the forest. Stopping himself from calling Nickels name, as that would do the opposite of what he wants.

   Baseball know this was probably hopeless, he is never in the forest and Nickel probably knows it like its as simple as remembering his own name. And the forest is huge, there is basiclly no way that this will turn out good for him.   Baseball just decides to travel to the places hes most familiar with in the forest.   Then Baseball found him.

   He found Nickel sitting on a rock with his back to Baseball, seeming absorbed into whatever hes was doing.

   But…   Nickel looks, quite, different.

   His shiny, shoulder length, grey hair has flowers sporatically tangled inside of it. one side is tucked behind his ears, which is now pointed, like an elf. he was wearing a short sleeved shirt with holes in the back for a set of pretty fairy wings that looked to be a combination of butterfly and dragonfly wings, only a couple of inches longer than his torso, almost limply resting parallel to his back. He has his usual oversized jacket wrapped around his waist.

   He was also wearing shorts. His exposed arms and legs had leafy, flowery vines growing and wrapping around the limbs. the plants getting denser the closer to Nickels hands and feet, almost seeming to be attached to his body. They stopped at his mid thigh and bicep.

   There are many animals around him too.

   A couple of butterflies circle nickel, fluttering around him and some even crawing on him. Birds flutter arould him, some even givig him things like flowers. There was also a fox there, yapping to Nickel in response to whatever he said. Sometimes talking to the birds and butterflies also, the birds tweeting back a response.

   He looked gorgeous.

   He unknowingly took a few steps closer, wanted to get a better look at Nickel, and talk to him.

   Baseball accidentally lets out a quiet, yet awestruck “whoa”, as he stared at Nickel, admiring him.

   Nickel immediately stops what hes doing and spins around, standing in the process, and stares up at Baseball, who seemed anxious that he has been spotted.

   Nickel is wearing his cute, round, black, thin rimmed glasses that complimented his features nicely. His light green eyes seemingly unnaturally bright, Though, they seemed to show only fear.

   “ah…uh-” Nickel starts, showing his sharp teeth as he talked, taking a small step backwards. “hi..”.

   Baseball perked up as soon as Nickel spoke. “..hello” He smiles, stepping forward a couple of steps before stopping when Nickel backed up more. He looks more anxious. Baseballs smile drops.

  The fox is getting defensive. Yet, as soon as Nickel raised a hand towards it, it seems to calm down slightly.

   “dont run, please” Baseball softly begs, raising his arms so they are partally bend infront of his chest, before takeing a couple of gentle steps forward.   Nickel stays in place for the few steps, still having that fearful look in his eye.   Baseball smiles again and hurriedly walks towards Nickel, falling to his knees and engulfing him in a tight hug. He stays careful as to not hurt Nickel and avoid wrapping his arms around his wings as to not crush them.

   “i missed you so much!” Baseball gushes, pulling Nickel into his lap subconsciously.

   Nickel is stunned slightly, he didnt expect Baseball to react this way. Most people called him a monster. After realizing what is happening, he wrapped his arms as tightly around Baseball as he could. His wings fluttered slightly.

   “I missed you too” Nickel said happily, his wings fluttering more.   Soon enough, the pulled away from eachother, Nickel sliding off of Baseballs lap.   “how did you find me?” Nickel questioned, looking up to Baseball.

   “ah-” Baseball scratches the back of his neck, “i…followed you into the forest, lost you, then found you here” He looks at Nickel nervously.

   Nickel stares at baseball for a second before stating snarkily “you really wanted to see me, huh”.   Baseball only responds with a soft “yea”.   Baseball then blurts “can you fly?” partially startling Nickel. He looks at Nickel, who has scooted backwards at the sudden question, his glasses tilted slightly, he stares at Nickel for a answer while feeling guilty for scaring him again.   “Yea, i can fly-” Nickel grins, correcting his glasses “want me to show you?” Nickel scoots back to where he was sitting before. Baseball nods quickly.

   Standing up, Nickel backs away from the other before fluttering his wings. Hopping into the air softly, his wings emit a soft, fast flapping noise as he hovers in the air, holding him up with ease.

   “whoa..” Baseball said, thoroughly amazed, before standing up and asking “can you fly to my height?”.

   Nickel wings flutter faster as he glides up so hes face to face with Baseball. The latter smiles and places a hand on Nickels cheek before taking it off as the smaller floated downwards until his feet touched the ground.

   They both sit back down chatting casually.

   “Hey-” Baseball starts, unsure if he sould ask, “what exactly Are you?” he questions, looking down at Nickel. Nickel looks up to him a bit confused.   “I mean– I know your some sort of forest creature, and maybe a fairy, because of the wings, but you have vines growing on you and-” Baseball stutters trying to explain the question.

  “Im a draey” Nickel interrupts, chuckling softly due to how nervous baseball got.   Baseball stares at Nickel, confused. Hes heard of many mystical creatures, but he has never heard of a ‘draey’ before.

   “a..  a what?” Baseball stammers. Nickel lets out an understanding sigh, draeys are very rare, as most of the time fairy and dyrad kids are either fairys or dryads like their parents.

   “a draey, its a cross between a fairy and a dryad, they are really uncommon” Nickel explains.

   Baseball hums an “oh” before looking up at the sky, then at his watch. “we should probably leave. We’ve been here for a while” He cautions, standing up  and waiting for Nickel to get up also.

   Nickel looks at the sky as well and stands. The two start walking towards the edge of the forest together. As they walk, though, the flowers in Nickels hair start to wilt and fall off, ans the vines on his arms and legs regress, like someones reversing a video of the vines plant growing.

   “hey, how are you going to…oh” Baseball starts, once he looks at Nickel, he sees that the latter looks completely normal, and his hair is covering both his ears now and be put his jacket on.

   “I can get rid of the nymph parts of my body, but i have to cover up my ears and wings though” Nickel states, his sharp teeth showing sometimes, while pulling back his hair to reveal he still has his pointed ears, then lets it fall down like before. He then loosens his jacket so it reveals his wings, which where, now, not even half way down his back.

   While Nickel fixes his jacket, Baseball muses “i dont think we should be seen walking together. we might get in trouble”. They can see the edge of the forest now. all of the other contestants are just shapeless lobs of color laying on the ground.

   “eh, i dont think anyone will see us. everyone is probably asleep” Nickel shrugs. Baseball hums in response. They stop at the edge where the forest stops and where inanimate insanity is starts.

   Nickel turns to baseball “You think we can get away with talking to eachother again?”. Baseball looks down to Nickel and smiles.

   “Im sure we can, at night time, though-” Baseball smirks, but it soon turns to a frown"-I guess we have to part ways".

   Nickel only mumbles “i guess” and gives a soft goodbye, walking back to the hotel. Baseball stares at him leaving before sighing and going back to the other contestants.

   Now Baseball knows if the “rumors” are true, but, he will most likely be the only other one to know.

[princepriestandpirate]

Character Solidifying for Rowan!

god this is so fucking late forgive me, but anyway here u go! answers under the cut

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

oh he loved his dad, and he thinks of him with a lot of love and respect. really, the only thing about his father that was not so great was the amount of time that he spent working, and both rowan and em wished that he had more time to spend with them. at the same time though, if rowan or emilia sought their dad out he’d always try to spend time with them. he was a good guy, and rowan wants to be someone who would make his dad proud & honor his legacy.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

his relationship w/ his mother is more complicated, mostly because she died when rowan was very young (she died in childbirth giving birth to emilia, so rowan would have been about 3) so rowan doesn’t remember her well. he maybe thinks of her with a bit of longing, but that’s more about the idea of a mother rather than the woman herself. 

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

he has one younger sister, Emilia (3 years younger). he loves his little sister a lot, partially because he was always very attached to the role of being a “big brother” and partially because he and emilia were probably each other’s only playmates as kids? they probably fought sometimes, like siblings do, especially since em always had a lot more energy and rowan just wanted to be left alone sometimes, but at the end of the day she’s one of the most important people to him. he’s very proud of her, even if she is a terrorist probably?

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

it wasn’t very strict at all but i also think he was a pretty good kid who didn’t get into trouble all that often

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

physically yes, mentally not as much? he and em had their own personal guards, and rowan was accompanied by a group of guards + marcus after his family was attacked, so physically he was never in much danger. on the other hand, his father believed in being honest w/ the kids and not trying to hide all the stuff that was going on in the outside world, and after rowan started traveling w/ marcus they didn’t keep their plans from him and let him be involved (probably because rowan would be even more upset if he didn’t know what was going on)

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

all affection. one thing that can be said for his tragic backstory™ is that at least he was always surrounded by people who loved and cared for him

7. What was the economic status of their family?

very rich, they were nobility

8. How does your character feel about religion?

he wasn’t raised in any religion so he has no attachment to any specific religious beliefs, but he believes that gods exist and it’s probably a good idea to stay on their good side (although this is changing a bit now that he’s met a bunch of gods and some of them are dicks *cough* aengus *cough*)

in modern day he’d probably be considered vaguely agnostic

9. What about political beliefs?

very anti-new initiative and pro-hoth (obv). on a more theoretical level, he believes that there should be a government to unify, organize, and protect the people, but it shouldn’t run into totalitarianism and should have input from the people it governs.

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

as a kid, very book smart, which would have continued if it wasn’t for the attack on his home. he ended up having to abandon his studies to some extent and focus much more on practical skills, so he has a good amount of street smarts as well now, although they mostly focus on his ability to move unnoticed and gather information.

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

he sees himself as fairly smart, but not super well-educated (or at least not as well educated as he’d like to be), since he’s self-taught on a lot of stuff and doesnt have a full formal education

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

i think the fact that he was well educated as a kid but had to quickly adapt to life on the road (w/ a bunch of guards no less) is reflected in his speech, as he goes back and forth between a more formal speaking style and more casual speech in his day to day conversations. he can switch back into more formal/well-educated speech if he needs to (see: when pretending to be a noble) but it’s not very natural for him.

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

he loved it! he’s a fucking nerd and he loves to learn, so much that he kept up his studies even after he lacked a formal schooling environment. he also really like his teacher ms. alduri, even if she was strict sometimes. he didn’t have schoolmates though, he was basically homeschooled and his sister was younger than him and interested in different subjects anyway.

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

those didn’t really exist, he had private tutors

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

he stopped his formal education at age nine

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

he’s a spy, basically. he doesn’t really see it as a matter of liking or not liking his work, but instead the work that he does is a matter of necessity. he’s doing this work because it’ll help him achieve his ultimate goals (bringing down new initiative/bringing back hoth) and because he has a deep loyalty to the resistance for all the help and protection they’ve given him. he likes that he’s doing useful work, and he likes seeing new places.

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

all the time since he was nine. they never stopped in one place for more than a month, mostly around khajjitan (sp?) and then when he started helping out the resistance, in the desert as well, although recently he’s been traveling farther north. he travels because if he stays in one place too long he might be found by people who may potentially want to kill him, and because his job requires it.

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

this is kind of a weird question to answer, because at this point his “being abroad” encompasses… over half his life? but i would say he found his godfather, his favorite weapon, his best friend, and a lot of new skills. he remembers a lot of moving around and never really making friends or relationships that lasted, and seas of grass, and later seas of sand that go on for days. and he of course remembers marcus sticking by him and taking care of him.

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

right after his home was attacked i think he realized, moreso than he ever had before, that the world was a mean and dangerous place and that he wasn’t safe, and that no one really was. i think it’s still probably something close to that, that you can’t really trust anybody but yourself and a few others.

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

oh boy. well, when he was very young he was in the area when the capital of hoth collapsed, and he was also present for the attack on his home where the last king of hoth was assassinated. later on, he was in the capital of khajjitan when the high councilor was killed in an attack on the city and he participated in fighting off invaders. he was also present when that one building blew up in the fishing villages. a lot of shit has happened tbh.

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

he’s pretty polite to strangers, kind of a snarky shit to people he knows better. i don’t think he’s particularly taken with the ideas of heroes, but he would model his image of a hero off of his father or marcus, very kind men who always put others before themselves.

he hates a good portion of jashtall’s government. he also tends not to like people he perceives as untrustworthy which is… ironic

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

lumley + the people on his team, although to varying degrees (he probably puts lumley, maybe peitho and honeyclaw in the friend category, while he views mies and ko as coworkers, although he’s starting to get closer to mies). he doesn’t really have a lot of friends otherwise since he didn’t grow up around a lot of people his age. he also doesn’t really have ‘lovers,’ unless you count a couple one-off flings from when he was traveling by himself or his current thing with quinn.

as for ‘type’, i dont think he pursues romantic stuff often but he tends to go after people who are a bit more outgoing than him that he can have a good conversation with/match intellectually (that he can nerd out with basically). i think he also tends to go for people who are taller than him? i think that’s a thing

(i’ve also definitely decided that his taste in girls is “girls that are definitely way cooler than him” but i havent figured out his taste in guys yet, more info to come)

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

he wants (or at least definitely needs) someone who is stable and can sort of ground him emotionally, and someone he can trust completely.

as for sex it’s…weird? because i think sex is something he wants/enjoys but he has a lot of hang-ups wrapped up in his issues with trusting others and being open with them. so he finds the experience of having to be very intimate physically or emotionally very uncomfortable and it makes sex kind of an awkward topic

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

almost none, he doesn’t interact w/ a lot of people outside of missions. when he is around people he either likes to fade into the background unless he’s put in a specific role he’s supposed to fulfill. in reality he likes to be in control of the situation and know what’s going.

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

he loves magic! so much that he studied it even after his formal schooling got cut short. he also loves history and reads non-fiction books whenever he gets the chance. and in his spare time he enjoys playing cards (which some of the guards he traveled with taught him). it’s how he developed a good poker face.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

what home lol

as for personal taste though, he tends to go for darker/duller colors that don’t stick out too much (he likes to wear shades of blue and brown especially). he likes comfortable and inconspicuous clothes, and goes for simplicity over complicated outfits, altho he’s a fan of layers. his head is shaved, but when it grows out he has dark curly hair. 

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

he cares a lot about his appearance but more in the sense of being very careful of what kind of image he’s projecting. he doesn’t want to stick out too much, and is careful to dress in a way that will make him blend in to whatever circumstance he needs to. unless he’s wearing the very fancy clothing he obtained recently so he could dress as a noble (a situation which is very weird and new, he hasn’t dressed up like this since he was little), he tends to go for comfortable, modest clothing that he can move around in easily, usually involving layers and some way to hide his face. nothing ridiculously high quality, but he likes clothes that will last him a while.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

he’s not really with anyone atm, all of his recent romantic encounters have been born almost exclusively out of him trying to get info out of people

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

depends on the situation and who you ask. in relationships, his tendency towards thinking of relationships strategically and hella trust issues/lying. in his job, has a soft squishy center that can lead to him getting attached, although on the other hand he also has a bad tendency towards very black and white thinking, putting a lot of emotional weight on ppl he trusts and kinda disregarding anyone who falls into an enemy category. it’s complicated.

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

oh boy is he! he’s holding onto his father’s death and his sister’s disappearance, and it’s not something that he’s going to be able to forgive, ever i think. it fucked up his life too much for true forgiveness to ever really be an option.

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

he doesn’t have kids, although he’d like to be a dad one day

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

usually evasively, if something is wrong or he doesnt want to deal with a situation his first instinct is to run or evade.

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

he drinks occasionally but not often, since he doesn’t like the “lowered inhibitions” part of it that much

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

very revengeful and somewhat righteous towards jashtall. they killed his family and destroyed his country and his life, he’s not happy.

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

he puts a lot of pressure onto himself to live up to the roles placed onto him, so when things go wrong he tends to think of it as his fault and freak out a bit, usually trying to atone for whatever happened.

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

no, but he’ll endure a lot if he thinks its for a good reason or cause. and he doesnt like to see people suffer but there are some enemies he won’t be afraid to be ruthless against.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

he’s not a big daydreamer, tends to be more focused on the moment and how he’s going to approach the future. he tends more towards the latter two, worrying quite a bit but tbh his situation calls for a good bit of that, and when he’s alone he prefers to revisit old (good) memories rather than daydream.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

almost always very suspicious, even of things that seem relatively innocuous. he’s not very trusting and usually assumes others are out to get him or could lead to him being found out unless he has reason to believe otherwise.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

he doesn’t (outwardly) ridicule others a lot i don’t think (unless they did something really dumb), but internally he thinks people who automatically trust others are dumb, as well as people who don’t think before they act.

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

he doesn’t have much of a sense of humor. he can laugh at other people’s jokes but is very bad at making them himself. he likes wordplay and puns though.

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

he’s aware of his own strengths and weaknesses on a physical level, he knows what skills he has and how he can be most useful, but he’s not super self aware internally. he’s not very introspective and probably isn’t aware of how emotional he is.

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

right now, he wants his sister back, he wants jashtall in pieces, he wants to build his home again. he’ll sacrifice a lot of work and pain and hardship for that.

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

oh boy does he lol. mostly the “secretly the prince of hoth” thing, along with the “currently a spy” thing, along with the several fake identities he’s using at the moment. he hold these things back from most people, but he’s becoming more open now that he has more people that he can rely on. he won’t give most of this info up unless it’s necessary to do so though.

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

very badly, but his responsibilities come first– it’s a rare occasion that he drops everything to go do whatever he wants. he generally tries to obtain his goals through planning and slow/deliberate action, utilizing help available to him rather than just pursuing things on his own. 

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

very pragmatic, much of which is learned– constantly moving and running away lends itself to making one very pragmatic about their actions, which even extends to how rowan uses magic, mostly picking up charms and illusions because they tend to be the most useful, even if they’re not what he’d prefer. he’s not very impulsive and much prefers to clearly plan things out before acting. “responsible” is also a key character trait of his, he’s very committed to the responsibilities given to him or the responsibilities that come with any role he has (whether as a brother, a prince, a leader, etc.)

 46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

height-wise he’s very average (he’s 5′9″). i don’t know his weight but he errs on the leaner side, although he does have muscles (his build is somewhat akin to a dancer’s build, where he has muscles but they’re mostly focused on being able to move quickly and efficiently rather than pure strength). he has very good posture. i don’t think he has any problems with his body, but he’s also pretty modest and doesn’t really want to show it off at all.

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

he wants to come off as older and more secure and in-control than he is. whether he wants to be viewed as important/visible/invisible changes depending on the situation. if he’s pretending to be someone important then he wants to project that, but otherwise he feels very uncomfortable being looked at and noticed and would much prefer to blend into the crowd.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

very controlled and deliberate.

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

his voice is... tenorish maybe? idk, not terribly low but not super high either. he doesn’t have a very loud voice but knows how to speak authoritatively, and he tends to speak a bit more slowly and deliberately. 

in regards to pronunciation & accent (and also vocabulary), i think it’s somewhat apparent in his normal speech that he goes back and forth between a more “proper” and “educated” style of speech that he spoke growing up as nobility (which also would probably come with a hothean accent, whatever that is in this world), and a more casual style of speech that he picked up from years on the road (he also pronounces some words with a kajjitani accent/pronunciation), he can fall back into the more “noble” style if the situation calls for it, but his normal speaking style goes back and forth between the two. 

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

his main facial expression is a serious one, trying to seem impassive but definitely kind of “on” at all times. if he shows his emotions his expressions tend to be kind of grumpy, although he can put up a front and appear very polite and amiable if he wants (although he finds it very draining to do so).

[dajoezenone]

THE ZOO ARC (Steven Universe Review)

Confused about how I’m reviewing an entire arc of episodes that has been promoted to release at the end of this month? Well, Cartoon Network put the episodes on their website without warning last night. And I watched em. 

But you dont care about that. Lets talk about the episodes. I’ll be as spoiler free as I can but its a pretty intense arc. Just watch it and then come back if you still care. 

The first one starts out by breaking the cardinal rule of the show: STEVEN PUTS STUFF TOGETHER AND ASKS QUESTIONS ON HIS OWN.  Except, not really. His questions come up because his dream powers are causing his mind to connect with that of Blue Diamond. Side note: any other time Steven’s dream powers have acted up, its because Steven is thinking about the person as he falls asleep, or otherwise because he lucid dreams his way there intentionally. This time it is COMPLETELY unprompted as far as I know, and its not really said why. But thats okay. 

Anyways, its really Connie that puts together that she’s seen the thing in Steven’s dream before, and thats the only thing she does this whole arc. While we’re on the subject, Lapis and Peridot show up momentarily in the subsequent episode only to also get left out of the entire rest of it. The three are told that if anything happens while the main crew is gone, they must defend Beach City and the earth, which shows how much the Gems trust them, but since, to our knowledge, nothing really happens, it doesnt mean anything really. I really want to see the three of them interact on some kind of mission sometime soon though. That would be really fun and solidify the three of them not only as Crystal Gems, but as a team themselves. I’d really like that. 

Anyways, Greg and Steven go off in search of answers to what really happened to Pink Diamond, and do so by flying to Korea in Andy’s plane. They have a nice touristy montage through Korea, and then end up at the Palanquin. There, they find Blue Diamond, who is mourning Pink. Greg has a nice moment where he connects with her, where he tells her he knows how she feels and what she’s going through. Its a really good scene. The two characters aren’t ones you’d expect to connect. The parallel is nice, not expected, and really clever. Its emotional, and genuine. Its also interesting to see Greg do something like this, as its definitely what Steven would do in the situation. I somehow always thought that side of Steven really was from Rose. After all, we’ve seen that she loved everything on the Earth. But... the more we’ve learned about who Rose was, it does make much more sense that having this kind of response to Homeworld things definitely comes from Greg, not Rose. 

Anyways, Greg is dadnapped by Blue Diamond and put into her Human Zoo a few lightyears across Space. 

Steven and the OG CG crew follow in the Roving Eye they stole from the Rubies. Speaking of whom, we see them briefly, and its mentioned that they’ll clean up THAT mess on the way back. The second episode in the arc seems mostly wasted on in-jokes like this. Steven messes with the ship’s controls, and as they go farther beyond the speed of light, it becomes harder and harder for the Gem’s to maintain their form, which results in some not that funny shape shifting shenanigans at first, and some soul-crushing loneliness later. Steven has a revealing, yet predictable emotional moment while the Gems arent able to take form, confessing he feels this is all his fault for asking questions. But the problem is solved and the Gems comfort him. This is by far my least favorite of the five, in case you can’t tell. Its got its moments, but not enough for me to really like it. 

The third episode brings the quality back up though. They arrive at the zoo, and realize they’re going to have to sneak past the Homeworld Gems stationed there. Garnet unfuzes, and Steven and the four Gems start faking their way through the security so they can get to where Greg and the other humans are held.

Something I really like about this episode, and the last one in particular is that each of the Gems that does come along on the journey has to deal with their own little struggle. They all have moments that are unique to their characters, and they’re all balanced well. Ruby, Sapphire, Amethyst, and Pearl all grow as characters, at least a little bit. Pearl is the most obvious, as she is forced to revert to being subservient to the other Gems. Sapphire and Ruby have to be apart again, and the stakes are much higher than in Hit the Diamond. Also, while that largely seemed to focus on Ruby and her interactions with the other Rubies, this focuses a tad more on Sapphire, having to pretend to be in charge of the other Gems, and having to struggle with the knowledge that they WILL fail. Without Ruby, its hard for her to change the course of time she sees before her, and we really see the effects of that. She gets a lot more screentime than she usually does, and its really nice. 

At the base, we’re introduced to the main villain of the arc, a Holly Blue Agate in charge of the Zoo. Compared to Peridot, Jasper and even Lapis, she’s relatively mediocre, and I kinda doubt she’ll ever become as important as those Homeworld Gems, but she does her job well. She’s super uptight and perfectionist, and while she clearly enjoys her work on the Zoo (expressing delight at both the new human arrivals) 5,000 years of dealing with the squadron of Amethysts and other Earth Gems that crew the station is clearly wearing on her. Any tiny thing that goes wrong, she blames on them, which is really nice for our heroes, but at the same time only allows them to see how ferocious she would be to them if she found them out. Even Steven never really tries to befriend Holly Blue. She manages to be scary while also hardly raising her voice. She expects things to work the proper way, and whoever is making things NOT work properly will suffer, if she has anything to say about it. 

Without spoiling how that episode really goes from there, the fourth episode in the arc focuses on what things have been like for Greg actually in the Zoo. And this episode is probably my favorite of the bunch, though the last one is really good as well. The humans in captivity are all very blissfully unaware of how life is. They all seem to be happy, but their lives lack true meaning or love of any kind. The people there are all really nice, albeit childlike and a bit weird. They’re somewhat entitled, a bit lazy, and all seem to lack any real individuality. But this isn’t a fault of the writers, its just that they’re all just products of the world they live in. Even Greg is starting to just do what he’s told and exist in this blissful utopia. He only really disobeys it when he discovers that romantic relationships in this world are all predetermined by the automated voices. And Greg doesn’t want a new Romantic relationship. Especially not with any of these people that can’t make decisions on their own. I wont spoil how this one ends either so lets move on to the finale. 

btw, I DO spoil the finale. If you havent’ watched it, just know that its very good and you should watch it. 

The final episode begins Greg and Steven being captured by the Amethysts aboard the Zoo. The have our Amethyst as well, who plays like she’s being held captive before revealing she has befriended them all since the last time we saw her. It turns out that all Earth Gems are about as unruly and immature as our Amethyst is. There’s even a Jasper and a Carnelian from the Beta kindergarten mixed in. The whole gang is delightful, and I wish we got to spend more time with them, but we really only get enough time to see how accepted our Amethyst really is among the rest of the misfits and freaks from Earth. From there, the squad helps hide Steven and Greg from Holly Blue long enough to get them to a large room where we see a bunch of bubbled Rose Quartzes. As they make their way across the giant room, a couple suitably giant gems come in. Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond. Blue is still depressed about Pink, and Yellow is attempting to cheer her up, so they can get rid of the Roses and the Earth, and move on. 

She sings a song, accompanied by Blue and Yellow Pearl. I dont like it that much. Yellow Diamond’s singing voice annoys me, and Deedee is definitely better as regular Pearl. But, its still really good for what it is, and it allows us to see into Yellow Diamond’s head a little. The Pearls are really fun as well. I love how Yellow Pearl is so opposite of ours. She glories in her diamond’s arrogant sass, and feels so honored whenever she’s addressed, no matter how demeaning the task she’s commanded to do. 

That aside, Greg and Steven regroup with the rest of the squad, and they all manage to make it past the Diamonds without incident. They make it back to the docking bay, and almost make it into the Roving eye, but are caught by Holly Blue. We get a quick fight scene, but its mostly just the Gems showing off. The Agate is apparently more bark than bite, and her squad of Amethysts don’t do much to help, as they’re rooting for their friends over their hated boss. Pearl gets the last laugh, telling Holly Blue why it’d be a bad idea for her to reveal to the Diamonds what just happened, and they fly off into the sunset.

Its a great arc. Definitely bigger and more intense than almost any arc before it, but at the same time, some of the episodes, the second especially, seem really slow. Theyre all just kind of building, and then the last episode, while really great, just kinda wraps up all that setup. Its really great, and it leaves room for the rest of season 4 to be even bigger and more amazing. 

I really hope we see the humans and the Earth Gems of the Zoo again. I imagine we’ll have to, since all the Rose Quartzes are bubbled there. All three groups are native to Earth, and I’d love to see them all return there sometime. But... we’ll see. 

This was a great arc, and a step in a wonderful new direction for the show. Can’t wait for more. 

[survivorelara]

Episode #3: “This tribe can literally suck my left nut.” - Toby

Well after goofing my confessional days (sorry hosts who have to figure that one out.) I got an alliance chat together so that we can communicate without goofing up the challenge the only downside is that we haven't started yet due to nobody being on. (The sucky thing of people having different timezones.)

I'm hoping we can pull another win out of this challenge, I'm trying to just keep things casual overall, I can't exactly start making big moves or anything out of the gate. (Making this 4-man alliance is as big as it's gonna get for now.)

Just gotta stay low, do my part in challenges, and work social magic on people... ew did I really try to tell myself that I have social magic?

I feel like a loser. Even though I was saved. I can be stubborn sometimes and it makes me look bad. I hate that.

ok I started writing this yesterday.... and then forgot to send it... anyways hi this games going pretty good still? we havent gone to tribal and i really think I have some good allies on my tribe. also legacy woo!!!! I’m a bit overwhelmed with work irl but as always I’m going to ignore it

RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304

oh? you want to hear about my master strategy? the one where i vote for odd instead of logan? well, it's actually a really complicated plan that involves: 1. voting early because i was about to go into a really long class that i cant use my phone in 2. that's it.   this is only the FIRST step that leads to me skillfully placing myself in the FTC where i win by a vote of 8-0-0.

Me? Sabotaging a challenge?? For a joint tribal council???

It's more likely than you think.

hi.......... so immunity challenge isn't going too well... half of our 24 hours is up and we're on 67. i mean that's mainly because no one was awake when i was so i really expect everyone to be popping off when im sleeping.... i don't want to go to tribal at all (even less than if it were to just be our tribe going to tribal, despite us having the numbers) because i can see this flipping on us somehow... or an idol being played or some shiz. hopefully,,,,,,,,, the other losing tribe if we go really aren't close and don't have our ~incredible~ group morale so the chance of an idol being played is minimised.... i can't really do anything rn except be optimistic and help with immunity but no one is on! ughhhhh if i dont get to play my legacy myself im gonna be s0000000 sad. i think if i go i'll give it to andrea bc i mean i knew louise beforehand but it isn't that fair to give it her because of pre-existing relationships... and andrea's a queen so.

Well we got into the challenge a little late unfortunately. I'm also worried I might be acting more... leaderly than I wanted to coming in, but hopefully I'm garnering more respect and appreciation rather than Oh, he's bossy, or Oh, he's good at this he's a threat, etc etc.

Ideally we wanna avoid that double tribal, but if we go then we'll just hopefully stay 6 strong, because I mean if we don't that means our tribe has a snake, which would suck.

I'm hoping to keep my, overall casually gameplay up, though my social game is lacking a bit, if I talk a bit more with people I think I'll be able to get people on board the Kori train.

We are currently at 420 as a score and I kinda hope it stays that way lawllll I doubt we are going to win but I honestly wouldn't mind some excitement as far as a tribal council will go. If we lose we will have 6 going against whatever other tribe we are againsts 5. So I wouldn't by any means say this is being thrown because we have all been trying however nobody has really been panicking today which is fun. I have really enjoyed talking with Big Z as we have been getting these numbers in together the last few hours, and am hoping if we swap together we will have a good connection going forward. I want to make everyone feel good and comfortable working with me

A combined tribal council... I really don't know how to feel. I'm already set for tribal council tonight, but I just want to know who will be attending alongside us. Like, its just something that is so defeatist and shit, but like if you fuck up on 203 out of all numbers and its just you and one other person... that's concerning.

Like that is my mood when I woke up. We lost at the number 203. Probably the other tribes are in the high 1000s and idk. I'm just begging for the worst at this point.

I take it back. No one cleared 500. That's just pathetic. Truly, it is.

Wow we were trash and now we have to vote someone out if it’s me I’m gonna 🔫🔫🔫🔫 everyone before I leave they’re all getting super soaked

FUCK BITCH! We're going to tribal with the other damn tribe. FUCK! No idea what's going to take place lol. Maybe if I keep a low profile I might be safe. IDK if being under the radar is such a good thing. I haven't played like this in a while. But if something happens I might snap.

THE STREAK CONTINUES

Although tbh I'm getting kind of bored with all of the nothing happening in our tribe so hopefully something interesting or exciting happens soon

https://youtu.be/tIiYdEMW6Dg

No idea what's gonna happen, and based on the vague implications, I think we might be seeing a swap of some kind perhaps of 2 tribes of 7 plus one person exiled.

ALTERNATIVELY It's a live challenge next... both have me mildly stressed but I'm ready to embrace either with open arms.

My patience grows thin with each passing hour that these Zosma's dont answer my one about this vote. At this point, Im gon a throw out a name to my Auva's and call it a day. But then again, Dylan and Odd are too awol to be trusted- thus aggravating me a little more. So if this is my final confessional of the season, better give me that OTTN5 edit.

Hello I hope we don’t swap I wish we went to tribal my tribe sucks and loris is definitely a snake and John is meh and Emma is inactive and kori is scary and I wanna work with zosma or like literally anyone else and I think I forhot someone OH big z he’s iconic but doesn’t talk to me smh

im so lucky lmaoo the rest of the cast can suck my dick also loris is kwl

I think we are probably going to rocks me and drew discussed the idea of getting both sides to vote for each other so when rocks are drawn we’d both be safe but he got worried about the idea of someone flipping and him dying which I understand but idk I’m ready to go balls to the wall

heuse1acToday at 4:05 PM Oh Sam calls me "dude" that might be my vote we're gonna have to see

DANI LIKES TO SING, KWEEN. Toby r e a l l y loves talking about himself. Sam is definitely straight. Unfortunate.

Y e e t h a w 🤠 Toby flopped in the counting challenge that I was ready to go the distance for & I’m not exactly sitting pretty for this joint tribal. I have a feeling that I could be targeted by Auva just because from an outsider’s perspective, I’ve done well in the past few challenges. There’s a lot of speculation that we’re gonna swap after this round, so I want Auva to know that I personally want to work with them in the future. Then together we can lower Revati’s numbers since they’re a bit too stronk right now. Drew T. tells me that himself, Drew H. & Roxy have been more on the “livelier” side as opposed to Odd & Dylan, whom I presume are on the bottom. Apparently Odd argued with the hosts as he was in the middle of a timed challenge & has rubbed some people the wrong way. So...why don’t we just vote out Odd for that reason? All I need to do is convince one person from Auva to flip & we avoid going to rocks, but I’m not shying away from rocks either. Dani said she’d go to rocks if Louise or I were in jeopardy, Roxy doesn’t want to kill me, Drew H. wants to play this game with me, & Drew T. let me know I wasn’t receiving votes. Maybe it isn’t the end of the world?

Toby finally found out that the idol was hidden under 39 & someone had already found it. I decided to stick to my guns by not claiming I have it because that only gives people incentive to vote you out. I have been leading Zosma’s votes which isn’t the position I’d ideally like to be in, but no one else is stepping up to the plate. I make my Odd pitch & say that we should tell the rest of Auva that they should vote out someone disposable to them instead of going to rocks for that person. Zosma & Auva are stubbornly solidifying themselves against the other for this vote, but I believe I could get Drew T. to flip. If not then I guess I’ll be drawing for rocks. :o

I want to make a longer one when I get home but for now im ready to did to rocks and join my boy jack in the robbed premerge with 0 votes club YEEEEEEEEET

Joint tribal is interesting. I think it will just be a tie. We will see.

Odd is voted out 5-3-2.

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i spoke it out loud. 

i spend like.. alot of time in my head now. no one cares to hear things without giving their dumbass opinion. sometimes i just need to say it out loud and today i opened up to a friend ive bonded very close with but havent been in alot of contact with which meant i had to explain scenarios from start to finish - not brief blips of anxiety fueled thoughts about details.

today i felt publically embarassed. it really, really bothered me that for all ive heard and listened to from him he bailed on my show that he volunteered to be apart of two fucking months ago. it wasnt like i forced him to be involved. i didnt even ask him like i wanted him to do it. it was very casual do you want to be apart of it - sure. 

i dont think you understand. under all the shitty men ive stuck it out with being treated like a lesser human while building a reputation and skill in my field FROM FUCKING NOTHING while people fucking died and break ups i id nothing but GET FUCKING BETTER. not a god damn thing stopped me because i kept my personal life seperate. 

but this didnt start seperate. and like i think he sees this as nothing when its fucking everything to me and im fucking tired of people seeing it as some junk hobby i do because im “unemployed”. and look - even i can see how fucked up it can be sometimes but people enjoy what i do. i give back to MY community which is compromised of atleast 100+ more people and giving back to a community is not defined in lare fucking numbers like i have to contribute to the whole of society. maybe i fucking am. 

and i am really... im angry. im just straight up fucking angry and these things never even came up. none of this is questioned. he didnt insult me. he fucking BAILED which is probably the biggest insult of them all. like... i even brought up the fact he coul be about to cheat on me and i’m more pissed that he insulted me in such a way. do i have a fucking degree? do i pull a paycheck? no. but this is fucking valuable. i see it everytime my miserable piece of shit ass pulls together a gathering or event. the fucking city approached me because i created a product they wanted and for the fucking INTEGRITY of the community i stood up and offered my professional reputation on the line to do better. and you cant show up to a fucking 16 person event and read a god damn story? really? that is an embarassment on my behalf to my personal colleagues and god damnit i fucking live here and i have no choice but to work with this because i want better now not 5 years down the road when im all settled and everything is just a thing i do on the weekends. why cant i contribute now. why cant i build myself this way.

so even if you thin these colleagues are unworthy - you stepped into my fucking realm and you so deeply disrespect something i have built from nothing. my professional reputation is associated with your piece of shit fly by night ass and you know what? my fucking bad. i would never in a million years put up with this shit from anyone not puttin gtheir dick in me so this is absolutely ridiculous. i cant even tolerate this in myself any longer and i hope - honestly - i fucking hope you used this as a leaping point into your big break up because this is what’ll make it stick. right. because you “cant fuck someone else” to solidify an ending but you can assault me in multiple ways.

and we both fucking know. we both legitimately fucking know what happened and thats why were not fucking and thats why youre not trying. this - this is all just natural now. and when they ask me ill have to act dumb - oh i have no idea why hes just this crazy guy its what he does when we both know and this sick twisted brain turned to fucking shit. who rehashes such shit. i was with a guy for way fucking longer than almost any of my current peers and i am not fucking with him but you dont think we didnt grow up together? we ha a whole fucking lifetime together, really. i shared an entire thing that no one else fucking knows about but us but you think i ned to rehash that shit with him? fuck no. 

ironic right. i wanted to say how toxic it is to be addicted to the past but i would know. i would fucking know the most and we’re all matthew mccougnhey in dazed nd confused addicted to the past to the nostalgia care free late teens early 20s but we’re fucking old and everyone else has grown up but us and we’re here in the ghettos of the wasted suburbs, drinking and smoking weed to numb the fact that we hit our peaks at 16. 

do i even give a fuck? like i give A fuck. clearly. im thiining about it. but not in the sense that im hurt. like its some deep offense that he would do such things. i have never believed a word he has said about our relationship. i believe any mention of long term past next week is a fucking joke. but he’s also incredibly kind to me. an i dont think at all that he would carry on some “affair” in private - THATS not our deal. 

i dont care that hes talking to her. the grief process is hard and this is a fucked up situation. that doesnt bother me. i think its super wrong to carry on a relationship with this person in close measures but finding a path through grief - whether 2,3,5 years; i get it. does he need to fuck her? nope. and i have had a strange enough relationship - i am not interested in carrying on one tht is knowingly false. 

he told me he didnt love me a few weeks ago. before that in another major blow up he mentioned how that particular fight woul lead to a “scar” that woul sit on the relationship. not that it woud be brought up again but acknowledging that he was and is creating real scars emotionally and mentally. it’s not manipulative - i’m here of my own freewill, i deal of my own free will. and this happens not often enough to be a malicious attempt at control. and we dont talk about things. ever. an entire year where we have never spoken about the details of these things we both COMPLEteLY KNOW ABOUT. like we both know he kind of sexually assaulted me for real. and isay for real because of the nature of our relationship but we both strayed from the necessary things for such a relationship that wouldve led to this not even happening and i dont “blame” myself. i absolutely did not want to have sex with him. absolutely did not. i said i did not want to have sex with him. i said no. i did not physically stop him in any way because of the nature of our relationship and the disrespect of my own body as well as maybe a need for approval from him because i associate sex in an intimate romantic relationship as an expression of love from a sexual person. and its hard because i do legitimately feel asexual; i have no interest. i have actual no interest and i feign interest or find ways to be interested to a degree but i dont care. so i am in a position where i am frequently disconnectin from the physical act happening to my body because i may not even be necessarily enjoying it on that sexual level. to me its an appendage inserted in a hole and it’s kind of invasive and a really od experience with someone. like its just odd to do that with a person and share eachother like that - TO ME. but this is like fighting homosexuality. i cant argue a sexual persons desires. 

so i enter a relationship already essentially to a technical definition being assaulted. im never truly having consensual sex because i have no desire but i guess i do consent to the invasion of my body. i dont disagree with it happening because  if i love you i dont really care if thats your thing. its not that big of a deal. brushing your teeth, taking a shower. all just things you do. this is what a majority of eople do. 

but we both fucking know. no matter how many times we had sex where it started with a playful no we both know i absolutely did not want this. my body did not even want it and he still kept going and i was not even making noise and he still kept going and the air was not right when it was over because he STILL KEPT GOING. i was not upset. i did not cry. i didnt lament for hours on it. i turned over and went to sleep because he didnt hurt me. he broke my trust. i’m not traumatized by the experience, i wont put him on the “bad boyfriend” list and make him out to be a predator because hes not. i dont know why he did this. maybe he thought it was okay and he convinced himself it was okay when it wasnt.

we didnt talk about this. we didnt mention it at all but when he heard no next time he immediately stopped. when he heard it again, he immediately stopped. and everytime after, his hands immediately dropped from my body. we both know. can he apologize? we both know. i know he knows. there is zero reason for this change in behavior.

the last time i saw him he drove me to his house so i could smoke weed because of period cramps. and then he dropped out. hes too far in the dog house now and hes not even going to try to get out. this is tooooooo far. on top of everything else when im literally doing nothing but existing in my own shit life. i already look at him now and i dont see the same thing and i want to. but i keep asking myself what the fuck is this where are we going. and ive asked it for an entire year. i asked it so much his face changed and im still the same because i have a need to not give up even when its time. 

and you know. had he called me and said im tired/got home late/too much traffic /tried & failed on story and made a genuine effort to seem apologetic on a personal level to me id probably be okay. but instead he just said “sorry. not going.” and ignored all further calls and texts. thats disgusting and like im trying and have been trying really hard to mentally be a better person and this was one of those times he had an opportunity to not do this and he did exactly what i would expect him to do following a stupid message like that. 

now what? now hes created a thing. now i gotta wait the fucking 2 - 3 days for him to think i forgot about it or am not as angry so we can sit in the same room, not talk about it and carry on as normal.

but you know what? i was pissed. and i ruminated. but i didnt act. i sent a succinct few messages less than 160 characters asking him to call me and asking if there was any way to get a ride and moved on because all i know is that he’s never goingt o be involved in any of my professional shit ever again. hes totally disbarred from this project and even though hes been a big supporter in the past i dont need this emotional drama involved. totally ot worth it an not valuable to anyone so i dont need a long message because im just going to do whatever i want an not involve him. he doesnt need a big dramatic thing about it. and fuck you that i cant even get a ride. why even waste the energy involved in the dramatic message. thats my message this time. my message is the time he absolutely 100% expects me to send the ramatic message.