#i have a dick but i wish i had a penis yknow?

[ratwarning]

mantra of the week: i wish i had a penis . for gay sex purposes

[monkeyparasite]

small warning before i contine on, this post is slightly nsfw (talk of genitalia, breasts, you know, naughty bits!), its mainly about transitioning so just.. be aware of that, okay?

SCREAMING INTO THE VOID. CRYING PISSING SHITYING DYING EVEN

ive started to think more about my gender identity and.. my whole identity more as a whole because just being like "eh, ill figure it out later, ill just say im unlabeled for now" is fine but its bothering me so bad. am i a boy, am i a girl, am i nonbinary, am i bigender?? what am i.. i want to be a boy but im getting comfortable with being seen as a girl and having she/her used for me again, but i still want to be a boy yknow? like im fine with being assumed im a girl, thats cute and all but i want to be a boy also. im scared to bring that up with my therapist because what if she doesn't understand what if she thinks im faking what if she thinks im just weird?

i think i just want to be a femmine dude, with a dick and no breasts maybe, im okay with my breasts i guess i just.. they make me feel dysphoric sometimes and maybe if they were smaller i'd be okay, but my vagina always makes me so. uncomfortablely horrible feeling, i hate it, im not self conscious about it i dont think, i just wish i had a dick instead of this

but, i, i want to be femmine, but what if i mess up and don't actually like having a penis? what if i dont like being a dude?

i really don't want to be disappointed and upset with how my body is anymore, i don't care if i dont like it, i want to feel like my body is correct and i finally in my own skin, my own fleshed out body