#i have a blood test on thursday and i dont want to be turned away just bc i have a stupid cold or whatever my sibilngs have

[transgaysex]

im going to force health onto myself if its the last thing i do. mark my fucking words. i will not allow myself to get sick right now. im two weeks away from. hanging out.with my friends. i will not get sick i straight up refuse to.

[muns0nslov3r]

write somethin 4 robin x reader or robin x OC pls

 a/n ; ofccc my lovely! 

warning ; use of vibrators, oral (fem receiving), pet names : honey and love, steamy make out session, praise kink, slight Dom robin, slight sub reader, fingering, lastly squirting<3

minors dni.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you and robin were walking down the hall as she rambled on about something stressed about band, school, and work. you put your stuff away in your locker next to robins pulling out your notebook as you sighed. “rob you need a break from this stuff its really working you up.” you looked at her with soft eyes.

“ I can't! cause I need to keep this job..and I dont want to fucking fail school.” she stressed as you shook your head “ robin your coming over tonight. no buts your coming over and i'll help you relax. okay?” you said staring at the girl.

“fine.” she sighed rubbing the back of her neck as you shut your locker “ now lets get going ok? we have two more class periods left.” you rubbed her back kissing her cheek softly. 

through out the rest of the day robin couldn't stop stressing out, hearing her sigh, and groan as she got stressed out over this test you guys had to study for.

you walked to home with robin, she was looking through notes from class and reading them over and over. “robin calm down. its on Thursday and its Tuesday!” you grabbed the notes from her hands.

“what the hell y/n? this is really important I want to do good on this test!” she rubbed his eyes groaning “ you can study later..” you kissed her lips as she let out a sigh kissing you back “fine y/n whatever you say” she kissed your forehead as you smiled.

_______________________________________________________________________

you got home dropping your bag on the ground sighing “ thank god we dont have to walk anymore..” you walked towards the kitchen as you pulled out some juice pouring it into two cups “ where are your mom and dad y/n?” robin asked.

“ a trip for work or something” you rolled your eyes laughing a bit as you walked over to her giving her the cup as you sat next to her turning on the tv, you held her hand rubbing her back.

you rubbed her shoulders kissing her spine as you slightly got behind her letting her legs rest between yours, taking off her shirt kissing her spine. feeling her shiver at the cold feeling of your rings.

you grabbed lotion from your bathroom going back to her as you smiled. getting behind her as you pumped some of the lotion on your hands rubbing over her back.

massaging her shoulders hearing her moan a little, kissing her neck as you made her melt into your gentle soft touches. 

“Jesus..” you heard her mumble as you rubbed her back. she turned her head to the side kissing her cheek, then the corner of her mouth.

you kissed her lips as she smiled turning around grabbing your face softly moving your tongue against the bottom of her lip, letting your tongue into her mouth bumping with hers.

not caring for air as you kept kissing each other moaning into her mouth, swallowing your moans. “fuck love..” she said between kisses rubbing her thighs together.

you sat on her lap as her hands flew straight to your hips “your so hot..” you said against her neck, biting slightly at the flesh kissing it. sucking until a red mark showed up on her pale skin.

 helping her up , you grabbed her hand bringing her into your room kissing each other slamming the door shut by getting slightly pushed into the door roughly  kissing each other.

acting like blood thirsty monsters, biting at her bottom lip as she gripped your hips hard. sucking bruises on your neck.

“jesus christ..” you moaned grabbing at her hair panting like she was sucking air out of your body, grabbing at her breasts taking off her bra, playing with her hardened nipple.

pulling away from your neck as she brought you to the bed pushing you down onto it giggling. kissing you roughly as you pulled away. taking off your shirt having robins eyes glued to your chest. 

rubbing your clothed cunt against her leg panting a bit. “oh love..your so fucking hot.” she moaned pulling your sweatpants down seeing a wet patch on your panties. you gasped when she rubbed your cunt through your panties. “christ-..” you gasped.

she giggled as you got up “robin- im supposed to b-be taking care of you..” you whined as she kissed you “you can take care of me later..I wanna taste your pretty pussy love.” she mumbled.

 she hooked her fingers in the waistband of your panties pulling them down your legs kissing your thigh “ I love you so much y/n” she said looking into your eyes “ I love you too honey” you smiled.

she looked at your bare cunt as she blew cold air on it making you squirm “robin!” you grabbed at her hair as she licked between your folds “you taste like heaven.” she moaned kissing your cunt, her tongue flicking that bundle of nerves.

you whimpered feeling her tongue against your clit. sucking and licking on your clit as you let out breathy moans and pants.

“oh robin” you moaned. causing her to suck more, your thighs clamped around her head a bit as you whined feeling her fingers tease your entrance.

feeling her fingers dip in and out of your greedy hole before adding one finger inside “ fuck!” you moaned arching your back.

her finger moved slowly as you whined “robin..I want more” you panted as her finger went deeper touching that spongy spot inside you “right there oh my goddd” you groaned feeling her finger curl rubbing your g-spot more.

she added another finger feeling you clench around her fingers as they went fast, she kept sucking on your bundle of nerves making you arch your back and making your thighs tremble. “oh im gunna cum” you whimpered grinding against her face.

she giggled, her fingers still ruining your cunt as you came with a high pitched moan.

“that's it love such a good girl.” she praised you helping you ride out your high. she pulled her fingers out putting them in her mouth moaning at your taste.

she went by your face kissing you deeply as you gripped her waist hearing robin moan in your mouth, you pulled down her pants her panties showing a wet spot on them as you kissed her thighs.

robin got off the bed going to your drawer grabbing a vibrator as you stared at her ass smirking. she turned around going to you as you kissed her neck “ my pretty girl” you mumbled against her skin.

you licked down her neck nipping at her breasts as she played with your hair. you pulled down her panties as you kissed her inner thighs. you took the toy out her hands putting it against her clit, turning it on as she gasped.

“jesus..feels- so good” she moaned tilting her head back as you kissed her breasts rubbing your own clit still sensitive.

“doing so- mh..- so good honey” you panted against her neck turning the vibrations higher. hearing her whimper as she gripped your sheets and your wrist.

moving the toy up and down her clit making her eyes flutter, you sucked a hickey on her breast as your fingers abused your poor clit, her thighs trembled threatening to clamp around the toy as she lifted her head up kissing your lips.

swallowing each other moans as you felt her hand take over on your clit making you bite your lip so hard you might cause your lip to bleed! 

she pushed her fingers into your cunt thrusting them fast. as you struggled keeping your eyes open struggling to keep up with everything. to keep up moving the vibrator, to keep up kissing her sweet lips.

the coil in your stomach started to build up as you whimpered against her lips,  thighs trembling as you bit her bottom lip, hearing her moan.

you clenched around her fingers panting “ rob- robin stop im g-gunna piss.” you panicked as she didn't listen moving her fingers faster curling them “robin!” you cried out as the painful coil in your stomach snapped!

squirting all over her fingers and your sheets as everything went black, everything was so fuzzy and you could barely hear.

robin came at the sight arching her back as she came with a scream of your name. panting as you opened your eyes slowly thighs threatening to give out. “oh my god..” you laughed as robin laughed with you “that was fucking hot.” she said her voice raspy. you nodded sighing as you put down the toy.

she got up, her thighs shaking a bit as she pulled on a oversized shirt she left here as she grabbed a warm cloth cleaning you both up as you winced at the feeling “ I know its okay.” she kissed your forehead as she smiled.

helping you get on your panties and a shirt, putting back on her panties as she kissed your lips softly “I love you” “I love you to robin. can we take a nap please?” you giggled as she nodded “once we change these sheets love” she smiled as she helped you get up. bringing you to your desk chair.

changing your sheets putting a towel under the wet spot as she sighed helping you onto the bed, getting in with you as she cuddled up into your chest both of you slowly falling to sleep.

[yourmidnightlover]

all my fault

Request: spencer and y/n are married, and they’ve been trying to have kids, and then she finds out she’s pregnant. a few weeks into the pregnancy, she has a miscarriage, and at the hospital the doctor said it’s bc she had an abortion as a teenager, and it fucked up her it yet us. spencer didn’t know she had an abortion, and blames her for the death of the baby, and they end up sleeping separately for a while and they have to grieve by themselves. spencer ends up talking to emily about it bc of her experience and it has a comforting ending!

Summary: when reader has a miscarriage after trying to have a baby with spencer, and things about her past are revealed and leaves things rocky within their relationship.

CW: miscarriage, pregnancy, mention of abortion, spencer’s rly harsh at first, teenage pregnancy, mentions of surgery, a cervix condition that i kinda made up, depressive thoughts, negative self-worth, HAPPY ENDING. *please let me know if i’ve missed anything*

A/N: i’ve been working on coming up with a series, which i posted last thursday! i’m sorry i haven’t been as consistent with my schedule, this summer has really taken a toll on my mental health and school is about to start back up. i promise i’m not quitting writing, but my writing might become a bit more sporadic in terms of my posting schedule. i’m still not sure if i like how i’ve executed this piece, so please let me know what you think!

IMPORTANT A/N: this contains serious topics centered around pregnancy and abortion. reader end up blaming herself and it is a very triggering subject to some. if you aren’t comfortable with those kinds of depressive thoughts PLEASE DONT READ. i don’t want anyone to be triggered by my writing. your mental health matters. you matter. do not read if your sensitive to the subject matter, please!

———————————————————————

when you and spencer checked the third pregnancy test and saw those two, very clear lines on the stick, you felt an unbelievable amount of joy.

“oh my god,” you clamped your hand over your mouth, your eyes welling with tears.

“y/n…” he held his breath, holding your free hand with both of his own.

“you’re gonna be a dad,” you huffed out a laugh as his arms flew around you.

“and you’re gonna be a mom! we’re gonna have our own little family,” he cheered as he breathed in your scent, elated from the news he had hoped for since you said ‘i do.’

spencer had wanted to be a father since he met henry, you remember how attached he was to the child who wasn’t even his own. you hadn’t always wanted children, only when you were absolutely ready for them. now, you were more than ready.

your arms flew around spencer’s neck as his went around your waist. he dropped to his knees and began pressing kisses against a bump that wasn’t even visible yet, praising you and your body for carrying his child.

because it was so hard for you to get pregnant, spencer decided to baby you every chance he got. you didn’t do the dishes or sweep, you weren’t allowed to reach for high shelves or even step on a chair to do so. he was worried about you and the baby, so you let him. you found it endearing.

the perfect man that you married was so worried about the little bean inside of you, worried for your safety, that it drove him a bit mad. who were you to complain? each time he’d do one of the new little quirks like not letting you lift anything above 10 pounds, you just smiled to yourself and brushed it off.

being pregnant was something that you had lost hope for, in all honesty. spencer had been talking to a few friends who had adopted children prior to finding out you were pregnant. if this hadn’t worked out, the two of you were going to look into adoption.

spencer had planned your doctors appointment for 6 weeks after your last period. the appointment was in three days. and then the perfect outline you had for your future went down in crumbles.

you had been having pains in your lower abdomen, and you figured it was just because you were pregnant. you went to the bathroom like you normally would when you felt queasy, kneeling by the toilet in preparation for what was to come. only nothing came.

you decided to just go pee and get back to bed. there was a pain that wasn’t like you’d felt before when you were peeing, like someone had been pulling your intestines out of your body. when you looked down, you felt your stomach drop.

“spencer!” you cried out. “spencer, hurry!” you felt tears well in your eyes until he ran up beside you. his hand was on your thigh as the other one was trying to steady your shaking hand.

“what is… oh,” he looked in the toilet to see blood inside of it.

“spencer… what happened? i don’t know what happened. everything was doing so well and the baby-we just found out and now they’re-wh-what’s gonna happen?” you rambled out, unsure of how something this horrific happened so quickly.

“i-i don’t know, my love,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i don’t know. but we’ll go to the hospital right now, okay? we’ll get answers.”

you just nodded. you couldn’t speak anymore. you felt your throat closing in on yourself. you cleaned yourself up and got dressed. even looking in the mirror with spencer’s arms around you, you didn’t feel anything but guilt and worry.

spencer’s touch would usually be something to ease your mind and take away the thoughts of everything else around you. only this was something wrong inside of you. you were the problem this time. and you didn’t think anything could fix this feeling.

“let’s get to the hospital, yea?” you nodded as he held onto your hand, trying to ground you to himself as he guided you to the car.

you were silent the entire drive to the doctor. there was nothing to say. there was nothing to do. there was just… nothing. you were numb.

“hey,” he spoke up, “we don’t know what happened yet. there’s a chance it’s just a fluke, right? the baby might be okay.”

“what’re the statistics, spencer? tell them to me,” you ordered as tears flowed from your eyes.

“y/n…”

“tell me! why don’t you want me to know?!” you accused him, looking over at the man driving as he but his lower lip. “1 in 4 women who experience bleeding during a pregnancy are fine. 25 percent. the other 75 percent of people have either a miscarriage or serious complications. those are the statistics.”

“y/n…” he sighed, “it’s not your fault. you didn’t want this to happen. besides, there’s still a 25 percent chance that nothings wrong.”

“whatever,” you rolled your eyes and opted to look out of the window for the remainder of the drive to the hospital.

-

“alright,” the doctor entered the room. “we have the results from the test and we’ve examined the ultrasound pictures. i’m so sorry, but you’ve had a miscarriage.”

what were you supposed to feel? an overwhelming sense of sorrow? like a failure? like the one thing you wanted most in the world fell through?

“how-how did this happen?” you spoke through the tears. “we were so-we were careful. i didn’t lift heavy objects, i didn’t do repetitive motions, i just… we tried so hard to make this work,” you shook your head in disapproval, as if you wouldn’t accept the answer that had already been proven to you.

“there’s proof of an abortion when you were a teenager. there was severe damage done to your cervix that wasn’t assessed pre-pregnancy. now, we can repair the damage within the next two months, but it will still be difficult to become pregnant after the surgery,” the female informed you.

“then what’s the point of getting the surgery?” you scoffed, looking at spencer who was just staring off in space.

“while getting pregnant will still be difficult, maintaining the pregnancy is much more likely. the fetus would be more protected and secure after the surgery,” she explained with a pitiful smile, you couldn’t help but wonder how she could smile after giving you the worst news of your life.

“right,” you nodded curtly, allowing her to sense the mood of the conversation.

“i’ll leave you two be. i’m so sorry for your loss,” she gave the both of you a pitiful smile before exiting the room, the only sound audible being the closing of the door.

it didn’t feel real. it felt as though you were in a nightmare. only this time, you wouldn’t wake in spencer’s comforting arms. you wouldn’t hear the soft soothing voice of the man you love trying to calm you down. you wouldn’t feel the solace he would provide by merely being himself in your proximity.

the drive home was eerily quiet. there was an inkling of animosity between you. looking over at spencer in the driver’s seat, he had a dead look on his face, the only sign of previous emotion being his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. he didn’t even look like your spencer. he looked like a stranger in the drivers seat with a cold expression that you could barely read.

you knew this was something you should talk about. when the nurse came back in the room it was only to offer a few referrals go therapists that specialized in this kind of grief. clearly, any couple should talk about losing an unborn baby. but you knew that’s not what spencer was truly upset about.

you waited until you shut the door to your apartment before saying anything.

“maybe we should talk about it?” you whispered, not knowing how he’d react.

“about what? the fact that you’ve lied to me for our entire relationship?!” he wouldn’t even turn around to face you. “i thought we were in this together, y/n. we aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other - especially not any that just killed our child!”

“hey…” you winced at his words. “why would you say that?”

“that’s the truth! your choices when you were a teenager just killed our child! my child!” he finally turned to face you, and you wished he hadn’t.

“do you think i knew they would botch my abortion, spencer?! do you think that’s what i wanted?!” you stepped closer to him, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“i don’t know what you want anymore, y/n,” he shook his head, clearly exasperated.

“i want you. i want to get the surgery to fix my cervix. i want to grieve our child. i still want kids… with you, spencer,” you tried to ease the mood, calm him down. you reached your hand out to cup his cheek before he dodged your touch, afraid of touching you. “but you don’t want that?” you whispered so quiet, too afraid of the answer to raise your voice.

“i-“ he sighed and bit his lower lip. “i don’t know.”

“right. of course you don’t,” you shook your head before sitting on the couch, dropping your face in your hands.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed as he took off his coat.

“it means that: of course, you’re making this about you! it can’t be about us grieving our loss together like the doctor recommended?!” you peeked between your hands at the man you still didn’t recognize.

“maybe we shouldn’t grieve together since we can’t even have a conversation without getting angry at one another,” he tried to reason.

“the only reason i’m getting mad is because you’re blaming me for my baby’s death,” you spat back at the doctor before you.

“because it’s your fault!” he stood strong in his belief. “when you were a teenager, did you or did you not have an abortion?”

“i did,” you admitted.

“and the nurse said that in said abortion, they screwed your cervix up! if you didn’t have that abortion, our child would still be alive! we would be on our way to become happy parents!” he accused, rubbing salt in the already stinging wound. “it’s your fucking fault!”

“stop saying that,” you shook your head and dropped it back in your hands, trying to hide the tears that began to flow down your face.

“it is, y/n! i can’t believe you’re even trying to say this isn’t!” he chuckled, clearly getting under your skin.

“shut up, spencer!”

“i can’t, y/n!” he sat in the chair across from you before standing back up, too hyper to sit. “no wonder it was so hard for you to get pregnant.”

“spencer,” you begged him to stop, meeting his face with your teary eyes.

“y/n,” he stared you in the eyes, and you saw a glimpse of the man you loved for a second before he retreated to the bedroom.

you sat on the couch in confusion of what had just occurred.

when you were 15, you’re boyfriend was adamant about taking your relationship “to the next step.” you didn’t think you were ready to have sex, but you wanted him to stay with you. so, you gave in. it just so happened to be that you were one of the lucky girls that ends up getting pregnant her first time in spite of birth control and a condom. you couldn’t tell your mom about your pregnancy, she’d have your head on a pole.

so, you earned enough money from your job to get an abortion yourself. you went to a clinic and had your boyfriend’s mom come with you to sign as your guardian. was it smart to get an abortion that cheap? probably not. but you had no other choice. your mom had made it abundantly clear that if she caught you fooling around with him that she’d kick you out.

you were 15. you were young and still had to finish high school. there was no support system for you. you would’ve been on the streets with a little baby - not to mention the amount of debt you’d go into for just giving birth to a child in a hospital. it was the only choice.

and now you were being berated for making the only choice you even had - and by the person you loved most in the world.

you curled into yourself on the couch, laying your head on the arm and crying into the fabric. you released all of the tension and turmoil. you held onto the cushions as if it were the man that you wanted - no, needed to comfort you. because as much as you’d hate to admit it and try to fight those thoughts, part of you thought that spencer was right. it was your fault.

you fell asleep on the couch that night. you didn’t have the strength to get up to grab a blanket so you just sucked it up.

spencer didn’t sleep at all. he was used to having you curled into his chest, or himself on yours. he felt terrible about how he had talked to you, but he was too stubborn to admit anything just yet.

in the middle of the night he went out of the room to grab a glass of water. he saw you curled up in a ball, you head resting on the arm of the couch as you slept. it was the most peaceful you looked in the past 24 hours. but you began shivering as you slept. you were probably too exhausted to get up to do anything.

he went to the hall closet on a detour and grabbed your favorite, soft blanket and laid it on top of your body. after placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he went into the kitchen and made his glass of water before taking one more glance at you. you had snuggled into the blanket, pulling it up to your chin with a gentle smile that always appeared when he kissed your forehead as you slept.

maybe he didn’t screw up too badly, after all.

the next few days were spent avoiding one another. spencer couldn’t face you after knowing you had kept something so dire from him for the entirety of your relationship. you couldn’t face him after he made you feel as though it was your fault you lost your baby.

you would stay on the couch all day, barely eating or drinking anything while spencer would go out - only mentioning the library or the office to do more paperwork. eventually he just started sleeping at morgan’s house - probably because he couldn’t stand being around you.

you didn’t know how to grieve your baby, you were hoping that spencer might help, but that clearly won’t be happening. on top of that, you were worrying about your marriage. he couldn’t even look at you, how was he supposed to talk to you and sleep beside you?

a lot of times, it’s perceived that the only reason women were put on this planet were to have children - of course that’s a false notion, but it didn’t make it sting any less. your body had betrayed you. you had betrayed yourself.

it was only 12 days after spencer left when he came back home, if he could call it that anymore. once he walked into the living room, he saw you curled up in that same position on the couch. you had a blank stare that was directed towards the black tv. the only evidence that you were doing something was the empty water bottles surrounding you - certainly not enough considering he’d been gone for over a week.

when he entered you didn’t even flinch. your gaze stayed on the empty screen and your face remained vacant of any emotion.

in all honesty, morgan was the one to tell spencer he should check on you. spencer hadn’t told him everything about your argument, he knew he was in the wrong. but he was just so angry. regardless, he was here now, and it’s a good thing he was.

you hadn’t been taking care of yourself. spencer had morgan and savannah checking on him, but you had nobody. he only realized this when morgan pointed it out. and as upset as he was, spencer would always love you. your expressionless face only worried him more. your clothes had been changed from when he last saw you, but he doubts you’ve had a shower.

he stayed silent as he began picking up the empty water bottles from around the table and couch. you looked at him quizzically with furrowed brows.

“what’re you doing?” you asked, your chin already quivering as tears threatened to stream down your face.

“i’m trying to help,” he whispered as sensitively as he could, making eye contact with the most pitiful face you’d ever seen.

“i think you’ve helped enough,” you rolled your eyes before resuming your serious stare-down with the television. “you can leave.”

“no, i can’t,” he replied, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch while being sure not to touch you - he didn’t know if you were ready for that.

“you already did,” you brought to his attention, briefly looking at him. “just go.”

“y/n, i-“

“i don’t want to hear it! what’re you gonna say that could make me feel worse, spencer?!” you let the tears fall past your waterline. “i know it’s my fault. i know i screwed up! and i’m sorry! i’m so sorry!” you replied with far too much sincerity, the tears streaming down your face before he scooted closer to you, planning on wrapping his arms around you. “stop! don’t come near me!” you pushed his shoulders away. “it’s my fault,” you lowered your voice significantly before wrapping your arms around yourself.

he had called emily as soon as he got back into the bedroom. he knew she had previously had an abortion when she was a teenager, and he just needed to hear her side of it. part of him didn’t even expect her to pick up the phone.

“reid, what’s wrong?” she immediately answered.

“i-i think i need to talk to you,” he whispered in a hushed tone.

“right now?” she asked in a mildly concerned tone.

“if you can? the sooner the better,” he answered honestly.

“alright. you want to meet somewhere or just come over?”

“can i just come over? it’s really personal and i wasn’t sure who else to go to,” he began tying his shoes and hoping she’d agree.

“of course, come on over,” she replied in a worried voice.

“ok. i’ll be there in twenty.”

he quietly left the apartment, not before sparing you a regretful glance. he lost his child, but you also lost your child as well. he just couldn’t control his anger. and partially, he thought he was right.

how could you not have told him about something so serious? the second you had began having issues getting pregnant, maybe you should’ve been open about previous pregnancies.

“hey,” emily greeted before giving him a hug after seeing his teary eyes. “come inside.”

“thanks,” he sniffled before stepping into her apartment.

she guided him into her living room and sat down on the couch beside him. they sat there for a few silent minutes before he was able to work up enough courage.

“y/n was pregnant,” he whispered, barely audible if she weren’t right beside him.

“was,” she pointed out, already feeling as though she knew the rest of the story.

“she uhm-she miscarried two weeks ago,” he somberly admitted for the first time to someone else. “the doctor said it was because she had an abortion when she was a teenager that somehow ruined her cervix.”

“and that’s why you felt like you needed to talk to me?” she gathered, she was a great profiler for a reason but this was far more obvious.

“i was pretty harsh. i-i told her it was her fault,” he bit his lower lip as he grimaced. “i really rubbed it in, too.”

“spencer… “ she sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “you’re mourning a life, right now. obviously, that would raise tensions and emotions would be heightened. but… have you apologized? for telling her it was her fault?”

“no?” he replied after thinking about it. “i was going to do that today but she’s… she’s not in good shape. i’m not saying she needs to be perfect, but while i was at derek’s i can tell she didn’t take care of herself. she barely drank any water.”

“did you ask her why she had an abortion? why she didn’t tell you? did you ask her anything about how she’s feeling?” emily asked once more.

“no,” he cowered down, feeling even worse about the truthful answer. “i was just… selfish. i didn’t think about how she’s feeling. i just-i feel so bad now, seeing what state she’s in.”

“when i got an abortion it was because i wasn’t ready for a child,” she began to inform him. “i was a child, myself. how was a child supposed to take care of another one? my mother would’ve been disgraced. i basically had nobody there for me. i kept it a secret because having an abortion is so controversial. i knew people would look at me differently for making a responsible decision for my future.”

“god, i feel so bad,” he began to tear up himself. “i love her so much and i told her these horrible things.”

“make it right, spencer,” she gave him a supportive smile and pat his thigh before he stood up.

“i-i have to go,” he wiped the tears from his face before giving emily a hug, grateful she would listen to him at such an ungodly hour.

he quickly drove back home, where he decidedly belonged in the first place. he never should’ve left home. he never should’ve left you. you were his home, and he didn’t know how he could possibly lose sight of that.

“y/n,” he cooed as he entered the apartment once more. it was noticeably a bit more clean. the trash was taken out, the dishes were done, and your hair was wet from a shower - he assumed. “hey,” he smiled when he saw you sitting on the bed, cheeks still red and tear-stained with red, puffy eyes.

“hi,” you sighed as you brushed your hair, spencer sat down beside you.

“how’re you feeling?” you shrugged. “i need to apologize to you,” he admitted, placing a hand on your thigh. “i’m so, so sorry for what i said. telling you that it’s your fault that we lost our child… i-there’s no excuse. i was clearly upset, but so were you. what i said was so out of line, and i’ll never be able to express how sorry i am to you.”

“you’re right,” you shrugged. “it was my fault.”

“no,” he rubbed his thumb on your skin. “it was not your fault. i’m so sorry i made you believe that.”

“when i was 15 my boyfriend at the time pressured me to have sex. we used a condom and i was in birth control but i still-i still ended up pregnant,” you began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i couldn’t tell my mom because she would’ve kicked me out, so i saved up some money and had his mom take me to a cheap clinic. she signed as my mom and i got the procedure done. that was the end of it,” you finished tears streaming down your face. “a few weeks after the procedure i started having pains in like my lower back, but i didn’t think anything of it. so… it is my fault. i shouldn’t have gone to a cheap clinic, but i couldn’t live on the streets with a baby and no way to clothe or feed them.”

“y/n,” he got your attention, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “you were a teenager who had no other choice, love. it’s not your fault, it’s the clinic’s.”

“i just… it hurts so bad, spencer,” you shook your head in defeat before he wrapped his arms around you. “not even just emotionally, my body physically hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do and i thought i lost you and i didn’t know what i would do without you because i didn’t think you loved me anymore because it’s my fault,” you ranted out, sobbing into his shoulder before he moved the two of you around the bed to lay down, you on his chest.

“i’m so sorry you had to go through that, and that you’re still dealing with the repercussions,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “but know that i’m not leaving you. i love you and nothing will ever change that.”

“there’s nothing we can do now,” you whined, clutching to his shirt as if he’d disappear once more.

“we can go to the recommended therapy. we can get that surgery to fix your cervix,” he reminded you, rubbing circles onto your back as you sniffled. “then, if you’d like, we could try again for a baby.”

“so you still want to be with me?” you whispered by his ear, clearly worried of the answer.

“of course i do,” he said as if there were no other option; there wasn’t. “i’m so, so sorry, love.”

“the reason i didn’t tell you is because,” you sighed as you shuffled on top of spencer, now sitting on his lap and facing him. “because there’s this stigma that comes with having an abortion - and i didn’t know how you’d react. i also didn’t know it didn’t go well in the first place, but that’s a different story,” you chuckled. “i’m sorry. i should’ve told you about something so serious.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “that was from your past. this is our future, we shouldn’t get caught up on it and allow it to ruin this.”

you nodded, “you’re right. are-are you staying here, now? or are you going back to derek’s?” there was an obvious look of hope in your eye that spencer never planned on squashing.

“i’m staying here,” he smiled. “home. you’re my home.”

“you’re so cheesy,” you rolled your eyes as a laugh left your lips.

“i’ve missed your smile,” he pressed a kiss to those very lips, your smile not going away but growing even bigger.

“i’ve missed you,” you pointed at his chest. “please don’t leave again.”

“i won’t. ever again,” you held your pinky out, he smiled and wrapped his own around it. “i’m so sorry.”

“we’ll work at it,” you sighed. “we’ll build back the trust and fix my stupid cervix and then maybe try again for a baby.”

over the next few months spencer and you had been going to therapy once a week, mourning the loss of your baby and working through your other issues.

five months after you found out about the miscarriage, you had the surgery to fix your cervix.

one year after you fixed your cervix you and spencer began talking about having a child. you were extremely nervous, rightfully so. you voiced your concerns to spencer about what if the surgery didn’t work? what if your cervix wasn’t the only issue? and he replied by reminding you that you would both take this one step at a time.

seven months after having the conversation with spencer about having children, a miracle had caught up to you.

you were pregnant.

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[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: who do you love? (11/?)

Ok.. it took me longer to get this done than I liked but here it is... A second paternity test, and the guys lay it on thr table. What will Ellie do now? Catch up HERE, also if you would like to be added to the tags, drop a line.

Pairings: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Raiting: Mature. Ccontains nsfw situations.

“Seriously, you're fucking with me right?” Ellie snapped.  “I wish I was Ellie, but we have to retest.” Logan sighed. “Shit, my phone.  I need to go get my phone.” she shot up running for the door. Of course something like this would happen, that was just her luck. Her thoughts now on Colt, who she was sure was flipping out. She got to her purse grabbing her phone.  17 missed calls she thought, all from Colt, except 1 that was the Drs office. As if on cue her phone started buzzing in her hand. It was Colt.

E: Colt? Whats going on?

C: Where the hell have you been ellie? I've been calling you non stop.

E: we're at the track with Logan.

C: Did you get the call from the Dr? He says we can be re tested today but we have to be there by 4.

Ellie looks down at her phone

E: 4? Its 3:30 Colt. And  that's all the way across town in traffic.  How are we supposed to get there by then?

C: Looks like you or Logan are going to have to channel your criminal driving.  I'm on my way to the office, I'll see you there.

Logan and Stacie ran up, her dad, sally and Luca joining them. “Whats going on?” Logan questioned. “That was Colt. The Doctor said we can be re tested today, but we have to be there by 4.” Logans eyes went wide as he took note of the time.  “I can get us there.” Logan stated confidently “lets go.”

Ellie asked Stacie to take her car and meet them at the office, her dad and Sallie heading home.  Ellie hooked Lucas car seat in Logan's car quickly and they set out for the office. 20 minutes to go, the panic starting to set in.

Logan grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down.  “You ok back there Luca?” he shouted back checking on Luca.

“This is fun!” Luca squealed, Ellie shook her head, Logan just chuckled. She definitely had speed in her blood, that's for sure.

They pulled up to the office with five minutes to spare. Colt stood next to his bike. “I was afraid you weren't going to make it.” he gave Logan a cocky smirk.  “Come on Kaneko, you know better than that.”

Ellie grabbed Luca from her car seat, she immediately ran to Colt throwing her arms out. “Hey princess, I missed you.” he wrapped her in a hug as he lifted her off the ground.

They walked into the building, being taken right into the back. Logan and Colt going first. Colt held Luca while they swabbed her mouth. The doctor told them they would be sending it off for testing right away, the new lab turnaround was 2 to 4 weeks for dna testing,  however with the amount of labs that would be flooding in it could take longer.

They walked out of the office finding Stacie waiting for them with Ellies car. Luca was complaining she was hungry so they decided to get something to eat.  Colt had a customer picking up a car who had a custom job done that he had to be there for, so Ellie said she would catch up with him later that week. Ellie dropped stacie off at work and headed to meet Logan at the restaurant. He already had a table waiting for them when they arrived.

After ordering and finally eating, Luca was content playing on Ellies phone. “Ellie I need to talk to you about something important.” She could sense the seriousness in his tone.

“Ok, but quietly please.” she nodded towards Luca.

“Ellie, i'm pretty sure you know how I feel about you. You were the first and only girl I ever loved. But being with you and luca these past few weeks, well it made me realize that I want a family. I'm ready to settle down.” She took a deep breath, she wasn't expecting that. “Logan” She let out a long sigh. “I dont think thats a good idea right now.”

“I know, with the divorce and all. But really Ellie, I'm not getting any younger. I'm willing to wait, but.” He hesitated. Ellie reached out giving his hand a squeeze “I understand Logan. I do not want you to put your life on pause because I'm indecisive. If someone comes along that you think could lead somewhere, see how it goes.”

Logan sat there contemplating her words. “Thanks Ellie.” he finally spoke.

After they paid for their meal, Ellie took Luca home. She walked through the front door holding her sleeping child. Her dad and sally were sitting on the couch watching a movie, laughing and enjoying each other.  “Hey kiddo. Someone passed out huh?” Frank looked up from the tv screen. “Hey guys. Yep long day. I'm gonna put her in bed and crash myself. Back to work tomorrow.” She said goodnight, put Luca to bed and headed there herself.  

She put on her pajamas, and climbed into bed. She thought of her dad and Sally sitting on the couch, just enjoying being with each other. Her dad was happy, it was written all over his face and it made her happy for him. She thought about what Logan said at dinner, he was ready to settle down, but was she? She was divorcing Colt, was it fair to jump into something with Logan? Did she want to be with Logan or did she want Colt? She wasn't sure what she wanted that much was obvious, the thought of settling down, expanding her family and spending the rest of her life with someone who loved her and treated her well was all she ever dreamed of. She closed her eyes trying to escape her thoughts, after tossing and turning for a few hours she finally fell asleep.  

A a few days had gone by, she had just got off work when he phone rang, Darnells name flashed across the screen.

“Hello.” she answered. “Hey Ellie, its Darnell. I just wanted to let you know that Judge Mitchell scheduled a date for the hearing.” Ellies blood ran cold, it was one thing to file but another that it was actually happening. “oh, ok. Um when is it?

“The Thursday before labor day.” Ellie went silent, her heart pounding in her chest. “Thats. That's two weeks away.”

“Yes. She wanted to get it in before the holiday. It'll be done soon. Have a good weekend Ellie.”

“Yeah, you too Darrell.” Ellie hung up the phone, tears now falling. The Realization that Colt would be served soon hitting her like a ton of bricks. She calmed herself down enough to call her dad and make sure Luca was ok a little longer with him.

She started her car and made that all to familiar drive. She pulled up, trying her best to calm her nerves as she exited the car and walked through the open bay door.

“Were closed.” She heard a voice shout from under a car. “I'm not her for that.” she spoke, her voice carrying throughout the shop. Colt rolled out from under the car, standing up quickly.  “Hey. What are you doing her? Is Luca ok?” he wiped his greasy hands off, tossing the rag down on a nearby table.

“She fine. I came because I need to tell you something.” Colt arched his brow “Those words are never good.”

“Darnell called, the divorce has been scheduled.” she watched the expression on Colts face change to curiosity to a mixture  between hurt and anger. “When.” His tone colt and flat.

“Two weeks.” She looked to the floor. This was what she wanted, so why was it so damn hard to tell him?

“Two weeks?!” he shouted. He turned grabbing a tool and chucking it across the room. “Fuck!” He screamed, Ellie flinching. “I'm sorry Colt.” she squeaked out. His eyes widening as he turned to face her. “Oh you're sorry? You don't seem sorry to me Ellie. You didn't even give me a fucking chance. All I wanted was to be a family. You, me and Luca,” he ran his hands through his hair. “You just don't understand do you? I love you Ellie, I never stopped. Everything I did, was for you. The house, this garage, everything!”

“Colt I, I don't know what to say.” She was at a loss for words.

“I didn't want to be my dad. I wanted Luca to have both parents, together.  Now that will never happen.”

“Colt, we don't know that she's yours.” She regretted saying as soon as it left her mouth. It was like adding salt to the wound.

“Shes mine. I know in my heart she's mine, and even if she wasn't..” He shook his head. “You know what. You can have it all, everything. The house, the garage, all the money. All I want in this life is to be able to take care of you, and Luca. And if you won't let me do it at your side,  take everything.” he threw his hands up in the air, walking away.

“Colt.” she hollered after “Colt!” she followed him into to small apartment that used to be logan's loft.  “I can't see you right now Ellie. I think we probably should keep our distance until i cool down.” Colt had his back to her. Hands splayed out on the counter,  his breathing heavy. He was upset, very upset. “But the zoo, and Lucas first day of school.” She whimpered, holding back tears.

“I'll be there, I wouldn't miss that for her. I  will be cordial to you. But I won't be ok with it, I never will.”

Ellie hung her head in defeat, walking down the steps and then to her car. Colts words ringing in her ears. She grasped the steering wheel with a white knuckle grip, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew telling him was going to be rough, but she wasn't expecting the overload of emotions that came with it. She thought back to the day they took the brotherhood down.

****

She walked up to her house,  Colt had a loose end to tie up with Toby and ximena. The crew skipping town, laying low from the FBI. She crossed the front yard when Logan slid out of the shadows. “Logan? What are you doing here? I thought you left town.” her eyes darted around, assessing her surroundings. “I am, but I needed to see you first.” he came closer, closing the distance between them. “Look Ellie, I had every intention to apologize for dragging you into this. But now that I'm here, i'm not sorry.”

“You're not?” She looked at him confused.  

“No,” He shook his head. “If I didn't seek you out, I would have never met you. And though I may not have been the guy for you, I couldn't live in a world where I never knew you. You changed my life for the better Ellie.” he softly brushed the bruises on her face.

Ellie threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. “I don't want you to go, please don't go.” she sniffled. “Believe me Ellie, I don't want to, but I have to.  Go off to college, kick some ass. And remember I'll always be thinking of you.” She lifted her face, looking in his eyes. She pressed her lips against his, savoring the feeling one last time. “I hope this isn't goodbye forever. Promise me you'll stay safe.” she pulled back resting her head against his chest. “He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I promise. Goodbye Ellie.” he took one last look at her before disappearing into the night.

She turned heading toward the house spotting colt standing there. “You kissed him.” He clenched his jaw. “You were spying on me? How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough. And no, I wasn't spying on you. I finished what I needed to and came back for you.”

Ellie hesitated at the door. Could she really give up everything she had worked for? Could she really skip out on her dream school for a life on the run with Colt?

“Colt. I don't think we should do this. We rushed into this, its crazy. We. We need to get an annulment.”

Colt stumbled back. “What? Ellie come on, We love each other.”

“I know, and i do love you Colt. I do but.”

“Its Logan isn't it? You wanted to be with him, I was a mistake.” he retorted.  

“No. Colt that's not-”

“Save it Ellie. Go live your life, I'll get an annulment.” he climbed on his bike.

Ellie felt sick to her stomach, what did she do? She was scared, she didn't want to lose him. “colt.” she called after him, he put his helmet on kicking his bike to life. “Colt. Colt, come back. Please.” it was to late, she watched his tail lights fade out of view. She was alone, truly and completely alone.

*******

She pulled into the driveway of her house,  she pulled her compact from her purse attempting to cover the evidence of her crying. She walked into the house to hear laughter.  Frank, sally and Luca sat around the table eating ice cream, having a good time. “Hey guys.” She peaked her head into the room. “Hey kiddo. Everything ok.” She gave her dad a half hearted smile.  “Yeah, everything's fine.”

“Will you give me a bath mommy? I'm all sticky.” Luca held her ice cream covered hands up. “Sure thing sweetpea.”

After bathing and getting Luca to bed, Ellie walked over to a box that was left unpacked. She pulled out a medium sized shoe box, removing the lid she pulled a few items out. A ticket stub from the drive in, a small cactus, a bullet necklace, some photos of the crew and the last two. A picture of Logan and her, taken after the pool game, the other of her and Colt at Prom. She laid the two in front of her, her eyes burning into the paper. What was she going to do?

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[tyzziedrawz]

is it almost a month late? yeah. is the background deadass a pic of a street? also yeah. is it done? also yeah!! plus it’s still pisces time so i dont care. now i just gotta try do the megidos by the 21st. not doing anything for chihiro, but i started my chiaki piece like 2 months ago so ill at least finish that for the 14th. update on wrist plus a lil bit about the peixes’ in this au below the read more

only a small update but whatever.

it has now gotten to the point where i can write and draw again. i cant go very fast or for very long, but i can at least do it. im trying to continue improving my left-handed writing so that i can reserve my right hand’s energy for drawing. 

my first blood test results should be back by thursday, but the arthritis test will take another week. only time will tell what the fuck is wrong with me. i probably shouldve gone to the doctor years ago lol.

anyway the peixes

hic is the queen of a small, but fairly strong and wealthy country. shes a pretty ruthless leader but not as generally shitty as she was in canon. theyre pretty much always at war with some other country, but it doesnt affect the living standards of citizens too much. shes not a great parent, but she does try to take care of the kids at least sometimes- like in this pic its supposed to be them going out for halloween and acting like a regular family for once.

meenah is the eldest child, and therefore next in line for the throne. she doesnt like that. she threatens to run away every five seconds, and has the full intention of doing so someday. she does not get along with hic at all. she also doesnt get along too well with fef, but its mostly just regular sibling rivalry.

fef is the youngest child and has big plans for when she ascends to the throne. she knows theres a chance that meenah will decide to rule after all and she wont get that chance, but she chooses to trust that meenah is being serious. she wants to stop the violence, improve living standards further, etc. but she also just wants to like... have friends and shit. shes excited for her future, but she wants to be able to enjoy the present. its one of the few things she and meenah agree on. also fef is trans! she had mostly stereotypically feminine interests from a really young age, so it wasnt much of a shock to anyone when she came out (which was also pretty young). hic was delighted about it- she had never wanted a son, and, as it turned out, she never got one.

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: As Long As You Love Me -- First Meeting

Okay, Dirk Gently featured prominently at SDCC this year -- at least on my dash, where my friend @dont-offend-the-bees reblogged a few of the new clips -- so let’s have some of the DGHDA AU that’s not the Holistic Coffee Shop! Here’s the snippet of Victor and Alice’s first meeting. A bit of context -- Victor’s been kidnapped by a bunch of rough types, and is behind held for ransom in a mysterious warehouse. The leader, Hugo, is just about to start on more drastic measures to get William and Nell to pay up -- when one of his men bursts in with news:

"Boss! We've got an intruder!"

"Intruder?" Hugo repeated, straightening. "Police?"

"I don't know!" Scott cried. "Just Todd radioed me about somebody coming, and before he could say anything else. . ." He cringed. "It d-didn't sound good."

"Shit," Hugo hissed. He shoved Victor's chair back into the closet – Victor yelped as his head bounced off the wall. "Shut up! Lemme deal with this." He pulled out his pocket knife and unfolded the blade, holding it level with Victor's eyes. "And then we'll get back to convincing your parents that they should pay up."

Victor whimpered, hands clenching into terrified fists under his bonds. Hugo smirked, then shut the door, leaving him in a private sea of darkness. "Scott! Let's show this bastard how we do things around here!"

There was the click-click-click of guns being readied, then footsteps tramping out of the room. Victor shut his eyes and prayed that the intruder was indeed a policeman. Though to survive against this lot, they'd have to be a SWAT member. . .please, please, I want to go home. . .

BANG! BANG! BANG! "AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGHHH!"

Victor's eyes flew open. That – had been an awfully loud and tortured scream. And it was quickly followed by a number of others:

"Scott! Fuck, I – shit! shit shit shit–"

BANG! BANG! click "The fuck, I just–"

"How the hell is she doing this?!"

"I dunno, I just – glurkkk. . ."

"Oh God – fuck this noise! I'm – AAAAH!"

BANG! "This – this can't be – fuck!"

A clatter, and then the footsteps were back, this time running in the opposite direction, toward his closet. There were followed by a rather measured pair, slowly advancing on the runner. "No! No no no!" Hugo's voice came. Victor's eyes went wide – for the first time since they'd met a fortnight ago, he sounded panicked. "Look, look, we can – we can negotiate, right? We can – here! Here, take it, take it all!"

There was a soft little thwap, like a leather wallet hitting concrete. The slower footsteps paused. "Yeah, see?" Hugo said, a touch of relief in his voice. "Loads of money. And I got more coming on the way, I promise! You leave me alone, and – and fifty-fifty cut of the profits here. O-once I get some new guys. But fifty-fifty. Hell, sixty-forty. We make a good buck. I-It's an investment!" Victor could picture him trying to smile. "That sound good? We got a deal?"

A moment's silence. Then – "No."

And then the world outside the closet was nothing but screaming and a distressingly meaty series of thwucks and thwunks and the occasional crunch. Victor gaped, eyes locked on the door. Oh God. . .whoever this mystery woman was, she was certainly not a policeman. And she could take on Hugo? Apparently without a gun? His brain started flashing images of hulking bodybuilders before his eyes, women who could lift him above their heads and snap him in two without even trying. And one was right outside his door, slaughtering the toughest man he'd ever met. . .

The screams trailed off into a cold silence, followed by one last thwunk. "I do thank you for the money, though," the woman continued. "I was running a bit low." Another thwap of leather on concrete. "You can keep the wallet, I have my own. Now, let's see. . ."

Victor held his breath as he heard the woman stand up. Oh God – was her bloodlust sated? Or was she now on the hunt for a new victim? Would she think to look inside his closet? Please don't, he begged. Please don't please don't it's just vacuum cleaners and mops in here nobody else please don't please don't –

The door opened. Victor squeaked, blinking at the change in light –

Then blinked again as he got his first proper look at the woman who'd taken on Hugo and all the rest. Instead of the expected muscle-bound madam, the person standing before him was a rather small and slight young lady about his age. She was dressed simply, in a white t-shirt and jeans, a blue jacket tied around her waist, and a leather knife sheath peaking out from beneath it. A tangle of dark hair fell around her face, and she had honestly the prettiest green eyes he'd ever seen – bright and sharp. Honestly, Victor would have had trouble believing she was the killer if it weren't for the knife still clutched in her hand –

And the blood covering her body from head to toe. Victor hadn't seen so much red on a person outside of a slasher movie. Worse was the fact that the woman herself was completely ignoring it – as if this happened often enough that it wasn't even registering anymore. "Curiouser and curiouser," she commented, looking him over. "You don't look like a broom and bucket."

Victor whimpered. Part of him wanted to plead for his life, say that his parents would likely give her a reward if she brought him back in one piece – but that hadn't helped Hugo any. He could see in graphic detail just behind her legs how much it hadn't helped him. Maybe it would be better to just stay silent and hope that granted him a swift and relatively painless death. "Can't you talk?" the woman continued. "They do seem like the sorts who–"

She stopped abruptly, head turning toward an empty spot of floor beside her. "I beg your pardon?"

Victor blinked. Now what? "I–"

"Not you," the woman said, holding up a hand, eyes still on the floor. "You want me to – why?" She listened for a moment, then frowned at her unseen conversational partner. "Important? You're sure?" Another pause, leading to her putting her hands on her hips with an irritated scowl. "Well, it wasn't like I was just going to leave him here! I just don't get why–" She sighed at a silent interruption. "Fine, fine, if you're sure. . ."

With that, she loped around Victor's chair, knife at the ready. Victor shut his eyes tight, waiting for the bite of steel in his throat. Please, I'm begging you, just make it quick –

Zzz-zz-zzz-snap! Zzz-zzz-zz-snap! Zz-zz-zzz-snap!

That – definitely wasn't his neck. Victor's eyes snapped open again as the ropes around his wrists fell away. On automatic, he stretched the stiffness from his shoulders, then rubbed the aching lines cut into his skin. She'd – released him? But why? Was the hunt not any fun for her if her victims couldn't fight back or run away? Or – against all hope – was she letting him go?

It can't be that – you've seen her face, the more pessimistic side of his brain pointed out as she moved to the bonds around his legs. She's probably recognized you, realized what was going on, and decided she can be the one to get the ransom. She took Hugo's money, after all.

Yes – but – why let me up from the chair, then? Victor asked himself through another round of zzz-zz-zz-snap! Wouldn't it be safer to guarantee I can't run?

His eyes found the bloodstained knife again. She has other ways of making sure you don't go anywhere.

The last rope yielded to the blade's teeth. "I hope that hasn't blunted it too badly," the woman murmured, testing the edge against her finger. Those bright green eyes met his. "Do you think you can walk?"

To Victor's continued bafflement, she sounded absolutely sincere – even a bit concerned. "I – I don't know," he admitted. "It's b-been a while since I was let up. . . ."

"Right." The woman slid the knife into its sheath and stood. "Well, I don't think it prudent we stick around too long, so allow me."

"Allow – oh!"

Strong arms wrapped around his waist, and hoisted him over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. Without another word, she turned and carried him away, like a sheep to the shearing. A very large and awkward sheep, admittedly – his head was about level with her bottom. Which, unfortunately, gave him an excellent view of the carnage she'd inflicted on Hugo. He gulped as he watched the cooling blood drip out of the stab wounds. "G-goodness. . ."

"Evilness," the woman corrected. "I have no pity for him, or the others. They had no pity for their victims. Do you know what business they were in, or were you stuck in the closet before you could find out?"

"Um – m-movies, of some sort," Victor said, recalling the few times he'd been out of the closet long enough to see the camera equipment stored in the little warehouse.

"Snuff porn," the woman replied, without preamble. Victor's jaw dropped. "One of their recruiters gave me a business card. Last thing he ever did."

"Want to be in pictures, Van Dort? Bet I could make you a star." Victor shuddered as Hugo's words replayed themselves in his head. He'd guessed that they were almost certainly making pornography, but to learn they'd tricked innocent people into being killed for a shot at fame. . . They entered the hallway, and while the bodies strewn around were gruesome, Victor had a lot harder time feeling sorry for them. Would something like this have been his fate if his parents hadn't paid the ransom? Or even if they had? He didn't like to think about it. Especially with so much blood and gore so close to his face.

It was a thankfully short walk out of the building – soon they were in the parking lot under cloudy skies, passing the remains of Todd (who seemed to have been let off with just having his throat cut – probably because she'd been in a hurry to get to the others before they could prepare for her arrival) and heading towards an old red convertible. The woman opened the passenger side door and dumped him in his seat. "I do hope you'll be able to move on your own soon," she commented, going around to the driver's side. "I can't carry you everywhere, you know."

"I know," Victor murmured. He glanced across the expanse of gray concrete and white lines. He could make a run for it now, he supposed – but he didn't trust his chances of getting more than a few feet before tripping or getting tackled. Or stabbed. "I'm sorry."

"Not really your fault, you've been in a closet." The woman started up the car. "Seat belts. Not that I think we'll crash unless we're meant to, but just in case."

Victor obligingly buckled up. "The police are a-already looking for me," he said, wondering if it would actually make a difference. "I'm sure of it."

"Well, of course. I imagine your family wants you back," the woman said, unconcerned. She shifted the car into drive and peeled out of her space. Victor grabbed onto the door to steady himself as they whipped around toward the road. "And I'll get you to them. Eventually."

Victor gulped. "I – I don't have my phone. H-Hugo took it. I don't know how you'd c-contact them for the ransom."

The woman gave him a funny look. "Why would I want a ransom? I just got five hundred dollars off that idiot. I'm not pestering some poor couple for more."

Victor's thoughts screeched to a halt. "I – you – you don't know who I am?"

The woman shook her head. "I've been out of the loop for about twelve years, and even now watching the news or celebrity talk shows is not on my list of priorities. If you're someone famous, I'm afraid you'll just have to suffer my ignorance." She zoomed onto the quiet highway. "Of course, since Cheshire seems certain that we need to stick together for now, I guess introductions are in order." She gave him a nod. "Alice Liddell."

"Victor," Victor managed to get out after a further moment of astonishment. "Victor V-Van Dort. I – I g-guess you don't like canned fish?"

"Not particularly. Do you?"

". . .Not really."

She flashed him a smile. "Then we'll get along just fine."

[comicteaparty]

January 10th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on January 10th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Chasing Little Lights by Evelyn Shi.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Chasing Little Lights by Evelyn Shi~! (http://www.cllcomic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene so far is probably...well okay its not really a scene so much as a moment in a scene. but when soren is walking around with valentin and noticing that valentin already has like 1 billion friends. i can just severely relate to soren in that moment. it has some fantastic facial expression and i just love the panel framing too. theres kind of this sense of isolation whenever you see valentin interact. and even though soren is there, you get this sense he is the one out of place. and i just really think the visual aspects alone express that kind of loner thing he has going on

eleviken

haha hi! i'm the creator of Chasing Little Lights and i'll stick around here for a bit!

RebelVampire

glad to have you, @eleviken ~!

eleviken

i'm really glad you took note of that scene! i wanted to capture their different personalities - they are friends and get closer as the comic progresses, but soren is quite shy and valentin is a classic extrovert! i think valentin doesn't intend to single out people sometimes but he can give off that vibe

RebelVampire

actually honestly i really love valentin and soren's interactions. theyre very different people, and usually when you have an extrovert and an introvert they kind of butt heads. but nah, in this case valentin is like "hey buddy lets get bubble tea" and to me thats just super refreshing to see.

another scene i really like was the fencing scene. it played out exactly how i imagined it would: elena got her arrogant butt beaten by someone with infinite more years experience. but what i like more is that she doesnt expect this. instead to retreats further into her belief that she just wasnt on her a-game. cause i feel this is a moment that is true to how a real person would act.

and i also like how it preps for future drama

eleviken

that's great!! yeah i wanted valentin to be a good hearted person inside, even if he gives off an absentmindedly popular vibe! but of course there will be fights between the characters>:)

mhm! for me the fencing scene got quite tedious actually, as i wanted to have the action play out in maybe a few weeks, rather than dragging on for over a month. but i can only make a page per week with school and all, so i'm glad you enjoyed that!

all the characters are good people despite their flaws- elena's is arrogance obviously. we'll see how her character growth plays out in the future!

RebelVampire

yeah theres no doubt in my mind theyre good people. but i love all their flaws because theyre poignant and feel super realistic. not to mention i really enjoy a lot of the elements that stress them out cause to a degree it helps to make them feel their age.

eleviken

mhm, in future chapters - especially chapter 4, which is coming up soon, there will be more dramatic/challenging obstacles in the plot that will test their innocence as kids

i wanted to emphasize the coming of age aspect in the story because some challenges force you to grow up

RebelVampire

exactly what im hoping for. cause these kids are def in a situation where their innocence is gonna be tested. what with all the air pollution.

this is not s etting of happiness

K.E. Karlsen

yeah thats a theme i like seeing in stories and i can definitely see it happening in yours, whatever may happen

can i ask where you got the idea of a setting with air pollution sickness?

mathtans

The little one is in bed for the moment, but I might have to leave unexpectedly. ^.^

Rebel - I kind of liked that scene with Valentin having all the friends, but I think what I liked more was kind of the follow-up, when Kasen sees Soren with Valentin and thinks, geez, that guy's already got a friend. Kind of a perspective shift.

eleviken

i live in Shanghai, China, and air pollution has been a pretty big issue here! it has gotten better over the past few years but it's still very polluted. air pollution is also quite bad in areas like mongolia and india and other parts of asia

mathtans

Nice closer to Chapter 2 also.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. The comic’s setting is one where air pollution can be rampant enough to cause a fatal sickness called contamina. Given Valentin’s blood-filled coughing, do you believe he has contracted contamina? Why do you believe he is so intent on hiding his symptoms, especially from Elena? If Valentin does have contamina, do you believe he’d come to accept it or continue to live in denial? Whether he has contamina or not, how do you believe the others will react to finding out about the coughing? Overall, do you think Valentin’s health problems will change the group’s opinions on how normalized the air pollution is? How might this change their future goals?

mathtans

Characters need flaws, or it's boring.

eleviken

mathtans - to add on i think soren and kasen are more similar in personality than elena and val, defnitely! but they face very different challenges, so i think it makes them different in that way too:))

i am also a high school student! so i think CLL is at least semi-autobiographical in many ways

mathtans

Truth, probably makes sense that the siblings are a bit alike too.

eleviken

on question 2 - i won't give away too much

mathtans

I've been reading most of your little author notes btw eleviken. I think it's very cool that you're using your location as a setting. (Also, your field trip to Mongolia sounds really interesting, possibly more interesting than it was, I dunno.)

eleviken

but of course val will eventually be forced to face the issue

mathtans

I think Valentin is hiding the symptoms for a couple reasons. One, if people start talking about it, that makes it "real" and harder to deny to himself. Second, since his parents died due to pollution, he doesn't want his sister to have to go through the same kind of thing again.

eleviken

what really!!! i love leaving the author notes as a record to what i'm up to that week, but i didn't expect too many people to take note! my trip was a culture/service trip and it was definitely interesting, as it was quite different from the big city life in Shanghai

RebelVampire

you mean val doesnt just gain immortality and thus is rewarded for his denial?

XD

eleviken

Maybe val /is/ an immortal!

RebelVampire

see

confirmed

no problems here

O_O;;;;;

mathtans

I wonder if on some level, like subconsciously, Valentin is hoping for a breakthrough that helps out his own health. And Elena's dismissal of his attempts at research may not be helping with that (though I get why she does it).

Valentin - There can be only one.

eleviken: Yup, I'm one of those readers who tends to check out Q&As and Author Notes and stuff. In particular I was interested because I've never been to China or anywhere in the far East. Cool!

(I'm also a high school teacher, so there's that side of me, pleased to see students doing creative things. )

RebelVampire

i honestly feel the denial is more for valentin's sake than elena's sake. because hes what, 14? 14 is not the age where youre ready to accept mortality. 14 is the age where you believe youre super invincible and nothing ever bad will happen to you ever. can do whatever you want for you are the immortal one. and to accept he has contamina is to accept that whatever he had planned in his future is now kaput. and i just dont think hes ready for that, thus the hiding.

not to mention denial is the first stage of the 5 stages of grief

eleviken

valentin is definitely an optimist, and as the creator it even makes /me/ sad to see (or make lol) him suffer. he's definitely holding out hope for a miracle about his health, whether it turns out to be contamina or not. he is definitely at a point of denial, by filling his life with fun and his new friends to forget about the problem!

mathtans

Oh, the denial is probably more for his sake, you're right. The not telling might be for Elena's sake a bit though.

eleviken

mathtans - no way, that's amazing! Thank you for teaching, it's definitely hard work!

mathtans

Valentin is kind of the type to throw caution to the wind too, like I don't know the specifics of the disease, but he wanders around without a mask like that won't make the problem get worse faster or something.

Oh, thank you eleviken.

RebelVampire

eh i feel that the hiding it from others goes along with hiding it from himself. cause i get more the impression hes hiding it from the others to protect himself more than to protect the others. cause if he told elena, shes going to make a fuss and treat him like hes dying. and he cant very well live in denial about dying if everyone treats him like hes dying.

mathtans

That's a good point too, Rebel. (Who knows what's going on in his head!)

RebelVampire

although im sure there isnt no element about protecting elena cause of what happened to their parents. i just think self preservation is the overriding factor

eleviken

val and elena definitely have the petty sibling dynamic, but with their parents gone they are also looking out for each other. elena isn't good at expressing her emotions, though, so it's not directly stated that she's protective! i think part of his not-wearing-a-mask-stupidity is denial as well. as someone who's inclined to be happy, Val really wants to hold on to that happiness!

mathtans

Maybe Soren will come up with the cure. Can't kick him out of school if he does that.

eleviken

Ah soren's grade issue is quite important too! i think the pressure to achieve perfect grades is a reality for many students, and i especially see it at my school.

RebelVampire

although tbh i get the hint of a stigma? like at least that guy in the bathroom was kind of...apprehensive when he thought valentin might have contamina. even tho its established contamina is not contagious, its kind of got the cancer affect it seems. where everyone is like eww gross stay away from me sick person. and for an extrovert like valentin, that would probably be devastating. to be avoided because of something like being sick.

mathtans

Speaking as a teacher, I feel like society (well, North American society at least) is starting to put way too much emphasis on grades, and not enough emphasis on, y'know, actually learning stuff. Students tend to ask me "how can I get an 80%" not "how can I understand this unit better".

Rebel: Good point. It's said to not be contagious, but if people think that only poorer types who can't afford to replace their masks get the disease, that might be part of it.

eleviken

that's definitely very true at my school - as an asian school with an american system, the pressure to get 4.0s, have extracurriculars, and get into ivies is supersupersuper high. i'm under that pressure myself!

RebelVampire

haha that emphasis on grades over learning has been in the us for a looooong time. but now you have helicopter parents so a good portion of teachers in the us are just giving the grades anyway. because administration wont back the teachers up in the face of angry parents.

but i digress.

eleviken

mathtans - i'm going to admit i never thought about the "poorer people" part, that's very smart!

mathtans

You never know what will be read into things, feel free to run with it.

Yeah, it's not as bad here in Canada, but we still have some standardized testing. Anyway.

Hope you're able to weather the pressure, eleviken. The fact that you can keep up with a comic shows pretty good time management skills.

RebelVampire

i definitely feel that valentin's dilemma will make all the kids confront the air pollution. especially elena cause seeing another person she loves get contamina has to make her confront the idea that air pollution is bad and they shouldnt just go "nah its fine and normal were kids"

eleviken

thanks mathtans! i'm managing to keep up :))

i think high school can definitely be a bubble from real-world issues, and val's problem is forcing him to face the real world. that's a big coming of age part!

RebelVampire

yeah and i definitely love that about this story. that theres this whole conflict and theme of the child bubble world vs the actual world with all its huge problems that are overwhelming to deal with

mathtans

It's one of those things too where, if you see it every day, it just becomes normal. Why confront something that's normal? Whereas for the transfer students, it's not a normal thing, so maybe they can help with that.

Superjustinbros

peeks in

eleviken

hi!

mathtans

Good point, eleviken.

Superjustinbros

Hello there~

Just thought I'd drop in till the end

and this comic of yours is pretty interesting, @eleviken

eleviken

speaking of that, i am heading to class! i will still be here for the most part, though. :))

thanks!

Superjustinbros

You're welcome! Kudos too for representing all these different countries

(And shoutouts to Soren's hair)

RebelVampire

hey super~!

Superjustinbros

Hi Rebel!

RebelVampire

good luck in class, eleviken!

Superjustinbros

Secodned!

RebelVampire

and thats also true math. i definitely get that impression from val and elena

mathtans

All the best with classes!

RebelVampire

that theyre just so used to it they cant even fathom what clean air is like even

too normal

just everyday life

mathtans

Yeah, the choice to have a bunch of countries was cool. I like the little flags in the dialogue bubbles.

RebelVampire

although speaking of normalization though, i really loved that dialogue piece where kasen was saying "did you hear about that celebrity who died of contamina" to elena and elena just said what a shame i liked their music.

like man

mathtans

I'm also impressed that Valentin can already speak 5 languages.

RebelVampire

thats great characterization on how they view the world

yeah

valentin dying is a tragedy

dawgofdawgness

Is this still going? For CLL

mathtans

Rebel - Great point there.

RebelVampire

cause he seems super smart

yes it is~!

we still have another hour left

eleviken

DAWG!!! HEY!!!

dawgofdawgness

HALLO

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Kasen and Soren are both characters who have to deal with academic and parental pressure for various reasons. Do you believe Soren will be able to maintain a 3.5 grade average? Or, do you think even with the help of the others he’ll continue to struggle and fall behind? Whether he fails or succeeds, do you believe the school will continue to honor their scholarship agreement? In the long run, do you believe Soren will be able to help pull his family out of poverty with his potential academic success? Kasen, being the headmaster’s daughter, has to deal with similar pressures. Do you believe that Kasen will be able to convince her father to let her go to art school? How might she accomplish this? Alternatively, do you believe she’ll give into her father’s reasoning? Lastly, how might these similar struggles help or hurt the groups’ relationships with each other?

dawgofdawgness

I saw your wall post lmao

eleviken

rebel - ngl i added that dialogue in later, probably about a year into the comic. i really wanted to emphasize the air pollution part!

dawgofdawgness

I thiiiiink that Soren is gonna have to make some sort of sacrifice to maintain his GPA

eleviken

ok i love these questions! i won't spoil but it's great to see this discussion

dawgofdawgness

I think what's keeping Sore n back is his self confidence lol, that's one of the things about his character - he's always putting himself down and getting really anxious about everything

Superjustinbros

That's pretty much what happens at all these CTP's

dawgofdawgness

and Kasen , she's a bright student but needs to be pushed - what's holding her back, I think, is inexperience

mathtans

Just want to add, I think all the characters have parental issues, even the other two mains because of how their parents passed on. It's an interesting theme.

Superjustinbros

That's sad.

eleviken

yeah! kasen is quite smart, but she doesn't want to ~try~ at school because she wants to do art. as a creator i think she still should to an extent, but the pressure from her father is quite high

Superjustinbros

I can relate to that so much

dawgofdawgness

oooh that's relatable

mathtans

Dawg: Yeah, I'm reminded of the "reading difficulties" thing that was alluded to, and how the book he was reading at one point said "you're going to fail" or words to that effect. So definite self confidence issues. I wonder if Soren does have some kind of learning disability though, like dyslexia or something? Or maybe just has trouble with English, is better with German.

eleviken

me too! i don't have plans to go to art school, but the pressure to do well is quite high

dawgofdawgness

ohhh right yeah

Superjustinbros

I was good in school but lots of times I would just zone out and think of making art/games because it gets really tedious.

RebelVampire

i definitely think soren has self confidence issues, but i dont think thats the only thing holding him back persay. i think hes probably suffering a bit from actually being educationally behind. because private schools have way more intense curriculum and generally better educational programs than public schools. so its like someone whose only taken algebra that now they have to do calculus.

dawgofdawgness

Soren maybe has a language barrier as well? Since he's going to a prestigious college out of the country

eleviken

mathtans - nope! english is just not soren's native language

yeah, and ASI is a very competitive school

Superjustinbros

But yeah just saying I can relate to that feeling of wanting freedom

mathtans

I also don't feel like Soren will be able to pull off the 3.5, but that maybe there will be extenuating circumstances (from his friends advocating for him to Soren discovering a cure for the disease) that might prevent him from being kicked out.

Superjustinbros

Perhaps

dawgofdawgness

wait what's soren's gpa at right now?

or is it unknown

mathtans

Rebel: That's also a good point, about private schooling.

RebelVampire

he mentioned it

its under 3.5

close but under

eleviken

under!

dawgofdawgness

oh ok

he'll be fine pfpfttt

RebelVampire

3.2

dawgofdawgness

I have a feeling that he's going to reach that GPA through hard academic studies, and then get kicked out for smoking weed or something

RebelVampire

http://www.cllcomic.com/comic/83/

Superjustinbros

These feels

eleviken

HAHAHA SOREN SMOKING WEED!!

it seems like the most unlikely thing he'd do but at the same time i can see him doing it

RebelVampire

i think he can do it cause hes super close to a 3.5. so he only has to do a smidgen better in a few classes and just not do worse in others

Superjustinbros

Meanwhile I'm looking at these pages and just feeling sorry for Soren

RebelVampire

this is what soren will do in college when he find out high school was worthless and basically a cruise ship

Superjustinbros

I second that

RebelVampire

buuuuuut

i also feel if he hits 3.5 theyre gonna raise the bar on him

and say "good job soren. now get a 4.0 or we kick you out"

cause i feel like that counselor would not care at all about the struggles and triumphs he went through to even get a 3.5

Superjustinbros

D:

That's harsh.

RebelVampire

i mean not that im hoping thats the direction

but that counselor gives me bad vibes man

like theyre just waiting and hoping to kick soren out

Superjustinbros

Yeah.

RebelVampire

i feel bad for soren that its being put on him to pull his family out of poverty

especially cause his academic success doesnt even gurantee that

getting a job is a whole other ballpark

dawgofdawgness

With Kasen, wasn't it also implied that she has social problems on top of academic problems?

I remember there beeing a scene where she looks out the window and is sad i think

RebelVampire

idk if she has social problems? she seems better adjusted than soren socially speaking. although shes definitely less outgoing than elena and val

although i do get the impression shes maybe not the best at expressing herself?

like i kind of feel she holds back some

dawgofdawgness

oh right

ShaRose49

Hi!! I really wanted to make it to this chat cause I read all of the comic. I think poor Valentin is misguidedly thinking he’s being selfless in that he doesn’t tell anyone. And he probably doesn’t think it’s contamina

Superjustinbros

Oh hello there. ^^

ShaRose49

Hullo!

mathtans

Back. Little one was fussing in her crib.

Superjustinbros

Welcoem back!

dawgofdawgness

Yupp, Val's gonna have to accept his sickness or else he will have consequencesss

Superjustinbros

Hope the little one's doing alright @mathtans

RebelVampire

tbf val's acceptance is irrelevant to the consequences

dawgofdawgness

I gotta go, I have to do AP bio (which is a course that Soren takes) no wonder he has a 3.2 GPA the homework is ass

mathtans

I was wondering about that counselor, if she had hearing problems or something. Because the first time we meet her, we see Soren knock at the door, he comes in, and then she says "knock next time". I was thinking, like... he did? Where were you?

dawgofdawgness

goodluck @eleviken !! goodbyee

mathtans

SJB: Oh yeah, she's fine, just not much of a sleeper.

Superjustinbros

Bye!

mathtans

Dawg: Best with it!

(I was never into bio.)

RebelVampire

good luck dawg!

i dont think the counselor has a hearing problem

she was probably just focused

which i get

when im focused i legit cancel out all sound

Superjustinbros

aah I see, Math.

mathtans

ShaRose: Interesting point, about the being selfless thing.

RebelVampire

i think the counselor has a being a bitch problem cough cough

ShaRose49

@mathtans yeah I guess

mathtans

Prejudiced against Germans.

ShaRose49

Yeah that counsellor sucked

RebelVampire

but im sure she has reasons and stuff

Superjustinbros

I'd believe it if she did have a bitch problem

RebelVampire

but admittedly as someone who was as socially anxious as soren at that age

i wouldve been in tears if i had knocked and someone's reply to me was "knock first"

so that moment specifically angered me to no end

in the good way

mathtans

Yeah, character feels.

ShaRose49

Yeah I felt sorry for Soren. My Dad is German so I guess that makes me half

Superjustinbros

Soren is nothing but feels

ShaRose49

And nice hair

Superjustinbros

yes the hair too

I just want to hug him.

mathtans

I want to see Soren do some of his music stuff.

ShaRose49

Same

Superjustinbros

Secodning the music stuff

ShaRose49

Also the hug

eleviken

i love drawing soren's hair!

it's my favorite

RebelVampire

im personally more interested in seeing kasen and art stuff. cause just cause she wants to go to art school doesnt necessarily mean shes good enough to get in.

which actually would be an ironic twist

Superjustinbros

That would be interesting

Also great to hear Eleviken!

I love drawing characters with fun/wild hair myself, it can be pretty fun sometimes, is a biiiit hard.(edited)

mathtans

That's true. Kasen's possibly my fave character, just because she's in a tight spot by virtue of her father, which she can't do anything about.

ShaRose49

But the pollution aspect was really intriguing to me. It’s a real problem in China. But I can relate a little because here in Canada there have been so many fires in the summer especially BC that the air is all smoky all the time and some people have respiratory issues. I could be wrong but I think some people died because of it or at least got sick. I wasn’t bothered by the air when I visited bc

mathtans

Oooh, I should be shipping Kasen and Elena.

ShaRose49

@eleviken Hi there, author!! I was hoping you’d be here

Superjustinbros

That sounds scary, ShaRose

ShaRose49

But I was surprised that the air in BC didn’t really bother me at all

It was a little. I hope next summer isn’t bad. I’m sure it was very scary and awful for the people in BC @Superjustinbros

Superjustinbros

yeah...

Hopefully it's not so bad next year

mathtans

Roommate ships are best ships. ^.^

ShaRose49

Yeah. The news said the pollution because of the smoke was as bad as the air quality in China this summer

Superjustinbros

...Jesus christ.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Despite her generally good nature, Elena has her own sorts of troubles to deal with. Do you think Elena should have been captain of the fencing team as she believes she should have? Why or why not? Do you think Fenya views Elena with the same disdain Elena has for her, or might Fenya feel differently? Regardless, how might their rivalry affect their teamwork? Overall, do you think that Fenya and Elena might be able to patch things up and become friends? As shown recently, Elena also has to deal with her parents having died from contamina. Assuming she finds out, how might Valentin’s situation change her opinion about her parents’ work (if at all)? In general, how might Elena’s experiences at school change her as a person?

ShaRose49

I think Fenya might be just ignorant but I could be reme,Bering her wrong

RebelVampire

i really love kasen and the dad's dynamics as far as the future goes. cause as a child i def was kasen, wanting to pursue that creative dream. but as an older adult i actually get a lot more with the dad is coming from cause creative pursuits are a hard path. which is why im curious how talented kasen is in the first place. cause she might come to realize that even if she wants to art, she may just not have the talent for it

K.E. Karlsen

no i dont think she should have been captain of the fencing team.

ShaRose49

I liked fenya she was big and strong and had green hair

Superjustinbros

Green Hair is always good

K.E. Karlsen

the girl who won (apologies its been awhile since i read, i have been reading since its updates and havent had time for a reread and forgot her name ;;;) i think it was best she won, she clearly knew more what she was doing

mathtans

Oh yeah! I wanted to mention that was real clever, having Fenya and Elena meet early on, then have them become rivals later. Though I don't think Fenya really sees Elena as a rival or with disdain or anything, like just, there's this other girl who fences decently but doesn't watch where she's going, whatever.

ShaRose49

@K.E. Karlsen @Superjustinbros yup yup

K.E. Karlsen

oh is her name fenya?

RebelVampire

yeah i agree. elena did not deserve to be captain. especially cause she was a sore loser.

yes her name is fenya

ShaRose49

Yup

K.E. Karlsen

ok thats who im talking about sorry!! im bad at remembering names

RebelVampire

thats okay

no shame in getting help with names

mathtans

I'm also bad. It's why I have the cast page up in another window. (For a teacher, I'm soooo bad at names.)

Superjustinbros

I'm bad at names in general

ShaRose49

I forgot too the question helped me remember

RebelVampire

fenya is a passable offense anyway cause shes more a side chara than main cast. so her name isnt mentioned a whole ton compared to others

i kind of agree that i actually dont think fenya views elena as a rival at all. i kind of feel fenya is just like "oh yeah its that teammate i wonder why shes glaring at me how weird."

Superjustinbros

Perhaps

RebelVampire

and that any rivalry elena has just created in her own mind

cause the world revolves around her

Superjustinbros

Plot twist: it does

ShaRose49

Just what I was thinking

mathtans

She's also an immortal.

ShaRose49

I really want the story to show more of the streets on China, like I’d love for them to have a downtown scene, and I want to see more of the relationship between the brother and sister characters

I want to visit China someday

mathtans

Actually it's funny, when I first went to the comic I saw the latest update, with Elena talking about how they were going to get Soren's grades up, and I thought, huh, is she their mother or TA or something but why are they all laughing. Made more sense in context. All that to say, Elena does have leadership skills in terms of motivating people, but I'm not sure about delegation and such.

eleviken

hey yeah!

mathtans

It would be interesting to see more China.

eleviken

rebel - kasen's artsy side has yet to eb elaborated on

Superjustinbros

Yeah, do some more worldbuilding and more excuses for epic landscape shots (edited)

RebelVampire

id be interested in seeing more of china as well. though more to see how the world in general deals with the pollution. like i feel thered be other world things goes on besides the masks.

math- i do feel like elena has potential as a leader, but i also think she lacks the humility to do so. i think as she is right now shed be a self absorbed leader. so concerned with her own skills and showing off than helping anyone else on the team to get better

ShaRose49

Like Leonardo ughhh

Superjustinbros

And I just realized that's why everyone wears the masks on the main visual(edited)

ShaRose49

But she’s not all bad

Hooboy ya just noticed now?! Lol it’s alright

mathtans

Good point, humility's a problem.

RebelVampire

nah i dont think elena is all bad at all

i just dont think shes ready to be captain

mathtans

SJB: It's because it's Halloween.

RebelVampire

cause arrogance is a big thing to work through and elena isnt confronting her own flaw as of yet

ShaRose49

@RebelVampire wow you seem wise

I’m not being sarcastic sorry if that’s weird

Superjustinbros

lol

Guess I'll wear a "sick" mask on Halloween

ShaRose49

XD

RebelVampire

thank you i think XD idk if id label myself as wise, but i appreciate the sentiment

Superjustinbros

That'll scare the trick-or-treaters real good

RebelVampire

ya know the comic did give me halloween vibes from teh banner. so before i read it i thought it was gonna be some spooky halloween thing

ShaRose49

Yeah me too!

Superjustinbros

I did not think that at all, I jsut thought "why is everyone wearing masks"

ShaRose49

But I was pleasantly surprised. No offence but the other comics I tried were all too dark for me

mathtans

Huh. I didn't think about it at all tbh.

Just figured there'd be an explanation and there was.

RebelVampire

i was also guessing post apocalyptic so i was pleasantly surprised it wasnt that either

did not expect a coming of age story

ShaRose49

We got another wise person here

Haha I was kidding mostly I meant that @mathtans knew and we didn’t

Or well he guessed better

mathtans

Incidentally, any thoughts on the title? "Chasing Little Lights"? Like, I wonder if it's sort of metaphorical, like you need to chase after the people or subjects who bring light into your life... or if it's more about the idea of chasing grades and things, thinking they'll bring enlightenment or something.

ShaRose49

I think it’s a compelling drama I just hope it doesn’t get so sad it’s depressing

Maybe there are actually little lights that help stop pollution or something and that’s why they’re chasing them! CRAZY THEORY TIME

RebelVampire

i assumed it was metaphorical about chasing dreams or something

thats what val was talking about that elena didnt want to listen to

they separated the lights form the pollution

ShaRose49

I can’t remember that very well. What Lights?

Superjustinbros

All these wise people

mathtans

Oooh, didn't think of the pollution analogy.

ShaRose49

@Superjustinbros We a buncha sages we are

Superjustinbros

\o/

ShaRose49

I’m too into science fiction so my theory is probably too fun for this kind of story

Superjustinbros

Nothing like a tea party for all the Sages to gather

ShaRose49

Not that it sin’t fun

Superjustinbros

also Science Fiction is good

mathtans

Oh yeah, we haven't had enough crazy theories yet. So, Kasen is going to practice her art by drawing nude models of Elena, which is how the two of them end up dating.

ShaRose49

@Superjustinbros amen

mathtans

The modelling also helps with the fencing, in terms of seeing how Elena's weight is balanced.

ShaRose49

@mathtans I was thinking more about crazy theories about the pollution aspect I guess

RebelVampire

tbh i ship elena and fenya more

gotta have that slow burn rivalry turned to romance

Superjustinbros

we setting ships on sail already?

mathtans

Rebel: I am okay with that.

I still find Kasen precious though. Hope there's more of her. That was a cool image of her to start off Chapter 3.

Superjustinbros

Also before the comic tea party ends, I'd like to wish you luck with developing the story further, @eleviken. It's really developing well so far.

RebelVampire

they can bond when elena needs fencing help and asks for some private lessons

mathtans

Agreed.

About the developing that is, not the fencing. Though that'd be fun too.

RebelVampire

kasen is adorable though. i really like her hair in particular for some reason. its so fluffy and bouncy seeming

mathtans

"Don't fence me in."

ShaRose49

I don’t think this story is super romantic I’m not a huge romance person

@mathtans great pun

RebelVampire

oh its not. i will be surprised if theres romance at all. but shipping can be part of fun theory time

mathtans

True, I don't see the comic veering heavy into romance. (I just like adding yuri romance wherever I can.)

I also wonder if we'll see Soren's sister again. Like maybe one of the others will end up talking to her.

ShaRose49

I guess I like adding cartoony scifi wherever I can

Superjustinbros

No probs with that

ShaRose49

I loooove stories about siblings

mathtans

In fact maybe Soren and his sister is a parellel to the relationships between the Lins? Hmm.

ShaRose49

@Superjustinbros thanks I think you and I would get along fine XD scifi in me bloood

@mathtans oooh, I like this theory

eleviken

i am currently in class but i want to say thanks you all for coming!

Superjustinbros

You're welcome!

Glad to be here. ^^

ShaRose49

@eleviken thank you for coming and giving us something to talk about!

RebelVampire

i would like to see soren's sister again. cause theres gotta be a degree of tension there since soren can come off as the favorite since hes the one who gets to go to the prestigious academy

mathtans

Thanks for putting it out there, eleviken! (Also, maybe you shouldn't be messaging in class while the teacher is talking, the way Valentin got called out. )

I tease.

RebelVampire

thank you as well, eleviken~!

eleviken

i wil catch up later, sorry i couldnt participate!

mathtans

Rebel: Good point about that.

Superjustinbros

Have a good rest of the day/evening, Eleviken!

mathtans

I also wonder a bit why the headmaster's from Sweden, if they're in China. I wonder if that will be addressed.

Anyway, best with the comic!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Evelyn Shi, as well, for making Chasing Little Lights. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Evelyn Shi’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read the Comic: http://www.cllcomic.com/

[ellenesh-blog]

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"Lemoyne Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43441

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I need to register my tags which has expired. I know I need to be insured before doing so. I am looking for an Insurance company whom would insure me today with all proper documentation (today) . Does anyone know of such a company with affordabile rates? Ex: $45.00 or less monthly. I live in Georgia outside Atlanta.

Where should I look for health insurance for my mom?

My mom is 55 years old and lives in another state as me. I currently work and live in Pennsylvania at a great company that provides health insurance, dental, vision, etc. I cannot add her to my policy, as much as I would like to so I would like to try and find a policy for her. My dad works for a company that provides health insurance, however the cost of health insurance to him and my mother (who live together and are married) is extremely high. Currently, they are seeking alternatives so that my dad is covered under insurance through his company and my mom can get coverage through a third party company at a lower rate. The rate they are asking my father to pay to have both of them on the coverage policy is insanely high. I pay about $55 a month for health insurance and they are at least quadruple that. I'm looking for suggestions for a reliable and trusted company (Aetna, Anthem, etc.) that would provide individual health insurance at an affordable rate, if anyone knows of anything.""

Advice for health insurance please? (community college student with low-paying part-time job)?

I haven't had health insurance since I turned 18 and no longer qualified for my family's health insurance plan. I wasn't really concerned at the time, but now that its been a few years (I am almost 21 now), I am in need of dental care. My problem is that I don't know what my health insurance options currently are. I am a college student, although my community college does not offer any health plans for students. I do have a part time job at a daycare that offers health insurance, however its price is far too high for my income. The insurance company is Aetna, and would cost me $16.92 for the lowest medical option, plus $4.61 for dental. So that would cost me $21.53 weekly, which doesn't sound too bad, except I only earn about $120 every two weeks....reducing my paychecks to about only $76 every two weeks....which just isn't enough for me to live on considering that I pay for my own food and everything else needed. So.... does anyone know of health insurance companies that have options for community college students like me? I know state insurance may be an option, but I have a feeling I don't qualify for that since I'm not legally an independent, yet I can't afford to move out and become independent. See the nasty cycle now? lol. And no, earning more money and finding a better paying job is not an option for me at this time. I can't transfer to a college that does offer health insurance for another two years either.. If anyone can give me advice, I'd be very grateful. Thank you in advance =)""

Car Insurance.?

Does anyone know if there is a temporary car insurance you can get, so you only have to pay for it when you are driving the car. My car insurance is $150/month for plpd(partial), it is the cheapest there is, and my car is only worth around $2000. I only drive my car once a month for a 70 mile round trip. I just think its a lot to be paying $150 for a 70 mile trip. More than $2 a mile just for the insurance seems like quite a bit to me. There is no taxis or public buses where I live, and I dont want anyone else to take me. I am only interested if someone can give me information about the insurance. And a motorcycle wont work. Thanks.""

Lemoyne Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43441

Lemoyne Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43441

How much is lowering a car likely to cost on insurance?

how much is it likely to increase insurance by replacing the springs with a Spax piece of kit?

Cheapest car insurance for learner?

Best car for male 17 year old ?

What is the most affordable life insurance and health insurance?

Where can I find Affordable Health and life insurance for me and my wife. What is the best web site with online quotes?

Anyone know any car insurance company's that can offer cheap car insurance for a 18 year old?

I am 18 and just bought a Nissan Altima 08. I live in California, Los Angeles. I am trying to get insured and they want to charge me $3000 a year. Thats $250 a month for car insurance. Its more then my car payments. Anyone know any insurance company that can offer a better deal?""

What is a good type of health insurance for younger married couple.?

My wife and I are both 20 years old and don't have health or dental insurance which we definitely need. We have had a lot of hospital bills and can't keep up with them. We were denied for medicaid so I am looking for a type of health insurance that will be cheaper but include health and dental benefits. I just wanted to ask you guys before I spend all day researching stuff so if you have any advice that'd be great. Thanks

How much pain and suffering from my auto accident?

In Feb (2 months ago) I was rear ended at an intersection by a drunk driver. It was 3pm, I was on my way to class, and he hit me out of nowhere. This was his second offense. He was arrested that day on DUI/drug charges. He was fully insured by Nationwide Insurance. Turns out he has a LONG list of driving violations, speeding tickets, and such. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital, and then went again the next day. I have been to my medical doctor and chiropractor since then. I had never been in the hospital before, or to a chiropractor, and my neck/back are now messed up. I have had a MRI, and a ton of prescription. I have lost the natural curve in my neck, my vertebra are out of alignment, and I am having BAD, BAD headaches. I had $3000 damage to my car, and over $5000 in medical bills. How much pain and suffering can I get? Until this point, I was healthy, and fit. Since then, I cant work out at the gym, and Im getting headaches which affect my concentration, and sometimes my vision... Im only 24. What am I entitled too?""

Cheapest Car Insurance for under 25 MA drivers?

Have 4 speeding tickets. Learned that Ill have to pay an additional 500 because of this. My parents have been paying but Ive been told they payed 2600 a year! Is there any cheaper car insurance out there with minimal coverage?

Insurance Prices?

Boy I did'nt know it was so expensive what company has affordable insurance for used cars. Or new I don't know what im getting yet.

Pay Monthly Cars and Car Insurance Package?

Hi does anyone know of any UK Company that offer a new car and car insurance combined into 1 monthly payment? I know of Young Marmalade but I would like to see if there are any other good and cheap companies out there. Thanks

Is it legal for some1 with an International driver license to drive an insured car in California?

The car is mine and the car is insured under my name only. Will my cousin get in trouble if she drives my insured car even though her name is not included in the auto insurance policy? Or will it be okay?

No Deposit Car Insurance Companies?

Hi, I'm looking to get a car in a few months time but i am young so it's going to be really expensive. Even for a insurance group 1 Vauxhall Corsa it's like 2400-2600 and then they've got the cheek to ask for a 500 deposit so it's like 3000 for insurance. I'm sure you never used to have to pay a deposit it's ridiculous. Does anyone no any companies that offer no deposit car insurance? I did find one website that said MORE THAN don't want a deposit but everytime i try to get a quote it says sorry we cannot offer you a quote. Please help, Many thanks.""

Best insurance in Illinois?

I am a young adult, soon I will start going to college and I would like to know what insurance would be best and cheapest, because I will need a lot of money for college. Thanks in advance""

Need custom car insurance information?

I have a custom car, and am looking for information on custom car insurance. Rates and also brokers that cover this.""

Go doctor's without insurance?

i haven't been feeling well and i think it's about time i have a check up at a clinic....im interested in a walk in clinic that's not to expensive because my insurance does not work here. anyone know any good clinics around buena park, california???""

How much does high risk auto insurance cost?

How much does high risk auto insurance cost?

Whats the best agency to call to get homeowners insurance? single family cape cod style.?

Looking for good home insurance rates

Need a ballpark insurance estimate?

hello all, i dont actually HAVE this car, but i plan on having it soon here (within the next 6 months) and was just wondering if someone could give me their best ballpark estimate 18 year old male Lives with parents still No Traffic Violations ; 1 small fender bender about 3 months after i got my license (if that matters) 2002 Ford Explorer XLS 4x4 I have taken Drivers Ed Single (well, not married anyway) please and thanks""

Car insurance for 17 year old guy?

i just got my license and im thinkin buyin 2010 Mustang. How much would insurance cost and what insuranse company is cheapest?

""I knocked over a stop sign with someone else's car, whose insurance company do I use?""

Nothing happened to the car, I just need to pay for the stop sign. (I still don't understand why they can't just stick the sign back in. Nothing happened to it.) Anyway, I'm wondering if I should call my insurance company, or the person's insurance company. The police took the insurance # of the car's owner, but to file a report, do I call my company or his? (We both have the same company, USAA, but I don't know what policy # to use.)""

Do college students get medical insurance?

or like some kind of discount, program kinda thing for students? I am a 2 yr college student right now, is there such a thing? do I have to check with my school? thanks!""

How much would insurance be and oil changes?

I am thinking about buy a 2004 mustang convertible I am 16 it will be under my parents name how much would insurance be on it if it was a v6 and how much would it be for a v8 and how much would oil changes and tires be. And would a camaro of the same year would it be higher insurance or a 2004 challenger what one would be cheaper for insurance and we have the money for any but what one is cheaper for insurance and we live in nebraska in a small town

How much would it cost to add me on my dads insurance to drive his car? UK?

The car is a 2001 peugeot 206, 1.4 engine Personal information: I'm 17. Work stacking shelves in a super-market. No previous criminal offenses/anything bad related to vehicles. I need the car to commute to college every day, work and the gym. (Need anything else? .. If so, Ill add details)""

Car insurance for a 16 year old?

What would an estimated car insurance amount be for a 16 year olds first car being a 2000 BMW 323 i?

Get a insurance quote on 2010 honda civic?

i just want to find out how much do you guys think the insurance would be for a person with the following: 1) NYC license of less than 2 years, age early 20s 2) full insurance coverage since it's new 3) registered somewhere in southern part of Staten Island 4) the car ran 2-3 red lights within the past 1 1/2 year, got camera ticketed the car is covered by AllState, i just want to find out how much is the car's insurance now, i am not the car owner, would it possibly be at 4-5k/year, since the car was ticketed a few times, thanks""

DO YOU NEED ANY TYPE OF LICENSE TO PROCCESS AN ENDORSEMENT ON AN INSURANCE POLICY?

FIRE CASUALTY LICENSE ??? TO PROCESS A CHANGE OR QUOTE ON AUTO INSURANCE?? IN THE STATE OF CA

Lemoyne Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43441

Lemoyne Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43441

How does a teen pay for car insurance?

I am 18 years old, and I plan on getting my driver's license, and in order to drive, you must have car insurance, of course. I also plan on going to college and I will be commuting from home to my classes. However, I plan on taking the bus to campus rather than driving all the time to class. So, my question is, since I won't driving often, just occasionally, how should I pay for car insurance, given the fact that car insurance is more expensive for young people and I will be a student and most likely won't be earning much. I also have to keep in mind for other car related things such as gas and maintenance. If you are or have been in a similar situation I would love to get some insight from you on how you have managed to handle this circumstance. Thank you.""

Which Health and Life Insurance Company?

I'm 53 and just become a self-employed. I want to have health insurance what is affordable and trust able. Also I'm thinking about a life insurance - any advice thanks, even in my private email.""

How much does does watercraft rental insurance cost?

I want to start a watercraft rental company, but I want to know how much insurance costs are going to be before I start it. If there are any companys out there who already have a watercraft rental business, or any agents that can answer my question that would be great. I plan on having about 4 or 5 jet ski's, 2 jet boats, 1 ski boat, 2 jon boats, 2 sail boats 1 pontoon boat, and 5 canoes, and 5 kayaks. So if anyone can help with this please let me know, thanks!""

Will my car insurance skyrocket if I switch from a '97 to a '09?

I live in NYC so my car insurance is already astronomical. I drive a 97 Saturn right now and Im thinking of getting a Prius because of gas prices. Do you think my insurance will increase by a lot because of the difference in model and year? I know I could just get a quote but that's a process with my insurance company.

Auto insurance question?

I had full coverage on my auto policy. My car is at a point where I'm not going to fix it because it would cost more to repair then to replace. However, I'm not going to replace it at this time. My question is, since I will be renting cars at least twice before I get a new car, how do I handle my auto insurance? The policy currently covers rental cars, and is cheaper than the insurance the rental company offers, so I'd like to keep it. should i go ahead and cancel my auto policy, even though I will be driving other cars before i purchase another?""

How much does health insurance cost on average per person?

How much does health insurance cost on average per person?

Infertility insurance?

Does any one know of a good provider or some one with an insurance rider for infertility? I have great health insurance, except it dosent cover that! I should say that I live in Kentucky. Thanks""

What car would you get between the 06-07 scion tc or the 06-07 mitsubishi eclipse ?

Ok i know this question has been asked a million times on this, so let me be the million and one person to ask and hopefully for the last time. Thing is , i need to buy another care and is between those 2 cars and i just dont know which one to get. I don't know much about cars and so on so i would like some decent answers on which one i should get and why, my third choice was taken out of the equation when i read up on it on the kbb website, thrid choice was an audi tt but alot of people complained about how often it needed to be fixed for something The factors that most concern me are -Realibilty -Insurance cost -How much would it cost for maintance and repairs -which one is built better -which one of the two do you think looks better -which one will last me longer in the long run for those who would ask , i live in florida , and would like an automatic just incase those things are taken into consideration tours making my decision. i know this has been asked a million times but i really need to just settle for one or the other so please help me out thank you in advance for those who answer.""

Which is life insurance company is number one position?

Which is life insurance company is number one position?

How much would a BMW 325i be on insurance??? 16 year old?

Hi. I am 16... I will be 17 in september.. but I know insurance won't go lower for us until we turn 25... :( anyways! i want to get a BMW 325i cause i LOVE that car. But im willing to pay for the car but wondering how much insurance would be on it??? Like maybe for a 2001 bmw 325i cause i like that model.. i like the models up also but it will be more money and would it be more money for insurance for a newer car??? PLEASE help me !!!! I need to no. OH and ps. I live in canada, ontario - HAMILTON !!!!""

Can you personally propose a govt. health insurance program that would satisfy the majority?

Can you personally propose a govt. health insurance program that would satisfy the majority?

How much will my insurance and maintenance costs be affected by what type of car I get?

I'm about to be 18 and am planning on getting my first car soon. I've been driving for almost 3 years in my parents' cars but need my own for heading off to college and such. I don't know what type of car I want to get, but it's gotta be cheap, old and used, preferably up to $6,000-7,500 at the absolute max. The problem is that I've been really into cars for most of my life and would rather have something a little nicer to start, I mean within the same price range but for example a Mustang, Mitsubishi 3000GT, BMW 3- or 5-Series, etc., rather than the usual Civic or Camry (not that I'd mind one of them either). The problem is that I'm worried the insurance will be way more expensive. The latest quote my dad got was a few weeks ago and it was quite a bit lower than I expected, only like $560/yr., but that was with their old '93 Taurus GL. Will having a sports car or more high-end car affect it really dramatically or will it not make that big a difference as long as my driving record stays good? Also, how much more does it cost to maintain and repair a car like a used BMW than it does just a normal car like an Accord? I've always heard that European cars in particular can be temperamental and finicky if not maintained properly, so I'm just worried that I won't have the money and know-how to have and keep a car like that as my first car.""

Why have my health insurance premiums increase 72% over the last few months?

I received a letter a few months ago that my premiums would be increasing due to the ACA. I never thought they would increase by 72%. I thought President Obama said our premiums would decrease dramatically. Full coverage + Vision and dental 31/m non smoker (very healthy and active) Haven't been to the doctor in years Golden Rule United Healthcare Premiums a few months ago $193 per month $35 co pay $1500 deductible Premium starting next month $267 w/ same co pay and deductible WTF? I make roughly $2200 a month before taxes and fail to see how this is affordable.

I live i Delaware and have had my car impounded due to having no insurance.?

I will be getting insurance this friday. After I do that what do I need to do to get my car back this weekend about how much will it cost? Is this a fee I pay at the troop or do I pay towing and storing charges?

Hey everyone quick question about my auto insurance.?

So I've been with TD insurance for 2 years now, I used to pay 208 last year and it went down 165, and this year it went 145, but I'm moving I called them when I told them my new postal code it went up 192.which is fine ,but my question is am I entitle to the discount I received from last year and this year on my new montly rate ? I got them because I had no vialation, or tickets nothing. Shouldn't I still be entitle on my new rate?""

Car insurance ? Can my girlfriend be a policy holder on one car and named driver on another?

Can my girlfriend be a policy holder and main driver on her car and a named driver on mine? Will this affect her insurance in anyway?

How to get maternity insurance?

We are wanting to start TTC, but we are a little worried about the cost of the actual birth and doctors expenses, as well as any complications that might arise. Now, we do have enough money to cover the basics, but if anything else should arise to complicate things, we're worried. We both work from home for ourselves and have looked into private health insurance, even only maternity insurance, but the plans just suck and dang expensive! Anyway, I was wondering if you knew of any way to get legitimate insurance for only me while I'm pregnant, and for the baby after its born? Some sort of affordable state insurance? Im in AZ by the way. How would i go about finding something like that? thanks!""

Starting a insurance comany(drivers require minimum 4 year no claim discount) start up cost?

Starting a insurance comany(drivers require minimum 4 year no claim discount) start up cost?

Insurance and Totaling a car?

Hello, I was recently a victim of a hit and run on a brand new 07 car. The back was smashed and the right back tire was sideways. The insurance company had me bring it to one of their authorized body shops. After 9k worth of damage, I received the car back. I was told the insurance adjusters told the shop not to replace certain parts etc. When I received the car, I brought it to the dealer to get it a wheel alignment. The mechanic came back and said the car could not be aligned and there was still major damage (subframe was bent - I could even see it). He also stated that the car will never drive the same after the accident even if the subframe is replaced and it would pull to one side and cause wear on the tires. Do I have the right to demand the car totalled from the insurance company? The car was 3 months old before the accident and I would want it in the same condition that I got it in. Thanks PS car was hit in NJ - insurance in NY""

I'am 16 and does anyone has an idea how much would be my car insurance. i live in toronto?

16 yr old and wondering

I need affordable Health Insurance!! Where can I find this?

I do not qualify for State insurance, no work ins availaible, and can't afford to pay the cost of some companies out of pockett. Does anyone know something or some Health Insurance maybe I have not heard about yet?""

Insurance getting cancelled on an SR22 in VA?

I was so excited about good news I received, that I forgot that my insurance was going to cancel at midnight. I have an SR22 filing, even though I no longer require it. I left it there until it was time to renew. My question is how soon is DMV notified? Will I have time to call my agent first thing in the morning?""

Can you get car insurance on someone who does not permanently live in your household?

Could I insure my sons car even though he only stays with me on the weekends. He is under 18 and can't get a policy himself

Where to purchase liability insurance for a rental car?

i dont have personal insurance of my own, for am i renting with a credit card. Trying to find place cheaper than the rental car company""

Drive without car insurance?

My car insurance just expired I can't reinstate it until I get paid on friday I only have 88 dollars until then. I don't have to drive anywhere until then But I don't have any food or toiletries. The store is 1 mi each way from my house I don't have anyone to take me to the store. Would I likely be ok if I took myself?

Lemoyne Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43441

Lemoyne Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43441

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-some-cheap-insurance-companies-east-coast-21-year-carter-salazar/"

[furiousharmonykryptonite-blog1]

Car Insurance? (New Driver)?

"Car Insurance? (New Driver)?

EDIT: What further details would you like to know?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Do you need full coverage on a vehicle thats 4500 thaht you put a 1500 down payment on?!?!?

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i need one of these for my commerce assignment where can i get one from.

Why Health Insurance?

Health insurance companies can't cure anyone, prevent any disease, develop new treatments or create better medicines. Yet they take a cut of your health care dollar, create endless paper, interfere with doctors and enrich shareholders. They can all be replaced by software. BESIDES, hospital care and physician services are not random risks, they are a certainty for everyone at some point of their life. They are also preventable or can be protected against. It doesnt make sense to insure against a non-risk. You may as well have PhD insurance just in case your kid decides to get a PhD! Tell me why heath care is an insurable risk. Tell me why it's not an essential social service like K-12 education.""

Limiting the cost of home insurance in Florida?

How can we limit the cost of home insurance in Florida?

HELP! Car Insurance!!?

I know theres no cheap car Insurance... but anyone know any Insurance that an 17 year old can aford.. ill be 18 in a week... but some people want up to 5,000 every SIX months! i have no one 2 help me out, or to put me on their Insurance.... and ive been going nuts for the past 2 weeks and i need a car for work... PLEASE HELP!!!""

How much would insurance be for sports car?

ill be 17 soon so im looking for a car and i loveeee this purple sports car but i heard it makes your insurance even higher... about how much do you think it would it be?

Insurance quotes?????????

I am about sit my practical car test so a thought a'll look for a car and insurance but the weirdest thing is that a got cheaper insurance on provisional liecense (which i had for 2 years) 2011 reg renault clio =1200 and if i pass 2100 does anyone no y?????

How many Americans go across borders for affordable healthcare?

How many Americans go across borders for affordable healthcare?

Cheap insurance for 17 year olds?

ok doing my driving test on tuesday and got a 02 reg 1.1 citroen saxo at most insurance companies im getting told around 10 grand however i have been able to get it down to 6 grand, btw im 17 d.o.b 08/01/94 does anyone know a company where it is cheap for 17 year olds? Thanks""

Is an acura integra cheap on insurance?

my son is thinking of buying one

Insurance quote for 2002 Chevy Cavalier z24?

Hi, I am interested in buying a 99-03 Chevy Cavalier, and I am wondering if anyone knows how much the insurance would cost per year or month? I'm a 17 year old male, and this will be my first car. Also have finished drivers' ed.""

Health insurance question?

i am going to see a doctor tomorrow for something that has been bothering me for 2 years but ive only had my insurance for 1 year but before i had my insurance i did not see a doctor for the problem i had.... so what im asking is if i tell her i have been having the problem for 2 years will my insurance not pay for it since they consider that preexisting even though i have never seen a doctor for it before my insurance i have bluecross blueshield ppo plan

Will my insurance company raise rates because of a speeding ticket.?

With this ticket the cop said if i pay it before a certain date i wouldnt get any points on my license so would the insurance company even find out?

How do I cancel California Blue Cross insurance?

I have been trying to cancel my policy for 3 months. I even tried to stop payment at my bank, but they keep getting around the stop payments by charging different amounts each month. (This month they decided to charge me $50 more than last month) When I call them, I am on hold for over 30 minutes before I finally just give up. On their website, there is NO information about how to cancel your policy whatsoever. Why is it that they don't have ANY information on their California Blue Cross website about how to cancel??? Does anyone know of an address or fax number or wherever I am supposed to send written cancellation to or how do I go about cancelling????""

Anyone have/had Sameday Insurance?

I have Geico and thinking of switching to Sameday Insurance. I was wondering if anyone can give me reviews about them. They are offering a very affordable quote for a premium coverage.

How much would auto insurance cost me?

Im 16. The car im going to get is a chevy comaro 40k.? Dont tell me to go to my local car dealer thing to ask.

How does motorcycle insurance work?

Okay, I want to finance a motorcycle. I understand that by financing you have to have full coverage until it's paid off. But my question is, do you need to buy the insurance and have it already before going to buy the bike? Or can you go buy the bike, and ride it home, THEN get the insurance for it? Or do you have to haul it home if you don't have the insurance working yet? How does this work? Thanks a bunch!""

What would be the cheapest insurance company for a 125cc motorbike?

i am a 17 male living in the uk.

Car insurance !!!!!!!!!!!!!?

does anyone no were to get cheap car insurance im 17 male and the quotes im getting are 3000 pound to 5000 pound and they are for 1.1 to a 1.3 and its stupid ive tried go compare mon Supermarket and i cant find any lower quotes can anyone help???

What would insurance cost on a 1987 Firebird for a 16 year old?

My family has 2 cars. One is a 1994 Ford Escort. Another is a 1999 Honda Passport. My insurance company is State Farm. I'm a 16 year old male. If my mom is the primary driver on a 1987 Firebird, I'm the primary driver on the 1994 Ford Escort, and my dad is the primary driver on the 1999 Honda Passport, how much would it cost? I guess State Farm requires me to be fully insured on all 3 cars, but if there is only liability on the Firebird and the Escort, could I maybe get insurance for $1,600/year? I have 1 ticket to my name (no turn on red), but i'm going to court in like 2 weeks to get that taken care of. I've been driving since April. Thanks.""

Is their a place that has cheap car insurance if I havnt even had my license for a year?

Im 18, the school id idealy like to go to is to far to take the bus and I can't really relly on others for transportation. I'd like something under $100 maybe like $80. Ill have driven for a year in may but school starts in march so yea. Id like to go on my grandparents but its like $2000 a year I dont know why! or what I should do?""

Question about car insurance for young people?

I am nearing the end of my driving lessons and i am seriously thinking about cars.Can someone tell me a list of cars that are cheap to insure for a 17 year old male?Also my Mother told me that when i pass my driving test and get a car i will be going under her insurance policy and she said that it will be a lot cheaper than getting insured by myself.So my question is , is it better to get insured under a parents name so it will be considerably cheaper also i want to pay monthly for insurance and not yearly.Also what cars are generally cheap to insure under a parents name for a 17 year old? Thank You.""

Do I need to buy car insurance before driving a used car that I purchase home?

I am thinking about buying a car. I won't know if I'm buying this used car until I go look at it. How do I drive it home, if I won't have car insurance at the moment that I buy it?""

""Any way I try, I can't seem to get Car insurance for less than 4000!?""

I passed my test last week on Thursday, found myself a VW polo yesterday, and cannot seem to get insured for less than 4000. I'm 17 years old, just passed, no previous problems or anything, full UK passport etc. The car is a 3 door, 1 litre hatchback. I've attempted to get quotes on other cars as well. I've also tried applying as a second driver, with my father as first. He has 9 years no claims discount and a perfect motoring record. The result is the same. Nothing for less than 4000. I don't understand why it is so much cheaper for others around me to get such cheap insurance! A girl i know got insured a few months ago on her old Citroen A3. She's also 17. The company she found quoted me 4103, whilst she is paying 1300! Where am I going wrong?""

21stcentury insurance?

21stcentury insurance?

Car Insurance? (New Driver)?

EDIT: What further details would you like to know?

What kinda price for rego and insurance?

I what a 2000 TOYOTA CELICA ZZT231R SX what kinda price for rego and insurance?

Best motorcycle insurance coverage and cheapest in PA?

What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance i can get in Philadelphia PA? I know i could get a quote but i dont want to get a bunch of junk mail and give my personal information away. Basically, which insurance provider is the best? For the price? And also, what do you think would be my quote and what provider? Im 18 years old, with my first motorcycle, 2007 suzuki gsxr 600 (dont whine, im not wasting money on a 250cc bike) i also took the MSF safety course. (gives me about a 10% discount) ill choose the best answer if i get a good one.""

""What are the cheapest companies to insure me as a 2nd driver on a 1.2 punto (MALE, 19, UK)?

I'm a 19 year old male living in the UK in Birmingham! I passed around a 2 months ago! The cheapest quote I found was 1600 on a comparison site but it's too expensive! Is it worth getting a tracking device and alarm and stuff fitted? How else could I lower my insurance?? Could you recommend any other cars I could get instead of a punto? (no higher than insurance group 5 and no more than 3000) THANKS! =]

Any recommendations for affordable health insurance in Georgia?

I'm 22 years old, no children, and have one full time job. I need to get some blood tests like cholesterol, blood pressure, ectera done.""

Would insurance company likely settle for 15K?

Auto accident....my lawyer asking for 25K, insurance company said 12K (my lawyer wants to go to court and all that, I really do not want to; I just want to get this over with) My lawyer said it's worth much more than 25K but that's all the limit is. If I ask the lawyer to try & negotiate 15K w/o going to court; how likely or unlikely that the insurance company (State Farm) agree? If they do agree, how long before they send the check? I need to pay my doctor bills off and get another car (I am so ready for this to be over with!!!!) Thanks.""

Insurance wants to total my car?

We got rear ended couple of days ago, some bumper damage and chipped paint. According to the repair shop there is no internal or inside damage to it. Nether the less it would cost about $1000-1500 to fix it (bumper would be replaced). I have 1995 Toyota Corolla DX, and it drives great. I really love it, and didn't plan on getting rid of it. The garage is saying that once we submit the claim, chances are Very high that the insurance company would just total it, because the car is old and has 277.xxx miles on it. We wouldn't get a lot for it, not enough to buy another car for sure. And to drive it with the cracked/dented bumper I don't want either. What to do so insurance will not to total it? We just have done some work to it, and all that money would be wasted too! I'm so lost!!!""

Is humana a good health insurance?

i was charged a 120 dollars for lab services and they didnt cover it in addition to a copay and monthly deductible. i feel like im spending more with this insurance than saving. any suggestions?

""1998 Honda civic, had a car accident, back tire smashed in back Axel is bent how much will this cost me?

Any chance my insurance company will decide to total it out?

How much more do men pay for car insurance than women?

If a man and a woman are the ame age, same car, clean driving record, both live in the same city, and every other variable is the same. The only difference is their gender how much more would a man pay?""

Geico Car Insurance?

I have a 2013 Mitsubishi Lancer GT. My mother took the loan out and I was wondering can I get my own insurance (19 years old) and insurance the mitsubishi even though the loan is in her name?

Where can I find cheap auto insurance after a DUI?

I have a bad driving record that includes a DUI and driving with a suspended. I am looking for some way of getting reasonable priced auto insurance in Florida. I went to Geico and they want to charge me around $700 a month! Also what is an SR-22? Any help would be great. Thanks.

How much do you think insurance would be for me?

I'm turning 16 and honestly don't know where to even start when it comes to insurance. Right now my parent don't have insurance.. Do They need to have insurance so I can get insurance? I live in tennessee I'll be driving a 2006 black jeep liberty and insurance just seems really confusing and scary.

What is the best insurance company to go through for motorcycle insurance?

What is the best insurance company to go through for motorcycle insurance?

Is it legal to use foreign car insurance in the UK?

I'm a 17 year old male and I've just passed my driving test, I'm trying to think of every and any way possible to get car insurance as cheap as possible. I was wondering whether it's possible to purchase and use car insurance from a foreign company in the UK and if it is possible whether you could have a policy on an English car or whether i'd have to purchase an import. Thanks in advance.""

Rent insurance for tenants?

I am soon to be renting a property with my fiancee and I want to find out about rent insurance. I found a company online that provides insurance for tenants that pays the rent in case of job loss, etc. but now I can't find it. Do such companies exist, and where can I get such insurance? Can anyone recommend any?""

How much does it estimately cost for a car insurance?

Please don't give any stupid answers. All I want is to get an estimate because I have not got ANY ANY clue about it. You can just give a range like 100-200 pounds per [unit time]. Hint: I will get my car when I am 17 so roughly how much will it be annually/monthly? The most sensible and reliable answer gets 10 points for best answer.

Car Insurance for a 2004 Mustang?

Im about to be 15 and im starting drivers ed next week and I was looking at cars and I really want a 2004 mustang. I live in a small town, im a girl, and my parents have Allstate. About how much would it cost me?""

""Question about vsp eye insurance? around how much would glasses, contacts, exam cost?""

hey im new to the job world and i got guardian dental insurance and i think its comes with free vsp too. and the guardian insurance worker told me i'd tell them my social security number and tell them i have vsp to qualify or something. im going to go to a private office that accepts vsp. i want to get an eye exam, get 1 pair of prescription glasses and contact lens fitting and contacts. i dont have a credit card yet so i plan to pay with cash but i dont know how much to withdraw out of the bank to bring with me. i live in georgia, near atlanta by the way. or should i just go to lenscrafters or visonworks or something like that? could you give me an estimate of how much each would be when using vsp, if you have it? and if i used the insurance would i have to pay all the amount there and the insurance company would evaluate my claim and send me money back..? i dont know so how would that work too. thanks for your time in advance.""

Insurance on Giving Birth?

Me and my husband don't have any insurance and we want to have a baby, what is the average monthly payment for insurance that will cover everything from the ultra violet sound to the monthly check-ups to the auctual giving birth in the hospital.""

Average cost for home owner insurance ?

Average cost for home owner insurance ?

""I hit my friends car, they dont have insurance?""

I accidentally hit my friends car with my truck and it's pretty damaged. I apologized and said id call the insurance company. They said no because 1. The car.is up for repossession and 2. Because they don't have car.insurance! They supposedly went and got a quote to fix it and it's $1,200. They want me to GIVE them $1,200! I refuse because this is why I have insurance. What do I do?""

Does anyone know of a great affordable insurance plan with maternity coverage?

I already know about maternity card (no good).

I've been taken off my parent's car insurance policy. What do I do now?

I am 17 and I recently got into a serious car accident where my car was totaled. I got kicked out of my parent's car insurance policy because of this. My parents said that no insurance company is going to sell to me because I was in a serious accident while I was a minor. What should I do if I want to drive again? I can't drive a car without insurance.

""If I had a company, and I had to pay for car insurance out of the capital...?""

Would the car insurance be counted as an 'expense', 'liability', or an 'overhead'? Also, if possible, could you provide an explanation as to what each term means exactly? Many thanks! :-)""

Drivers permit and insurance help?

If I get my drivers permit would my moms car insurance go up? If so, what are average rates? Thanks for the time to read this, and thanks in advance for a reply.""

Car Insurance? (New Driver)?

EDIT: What further details would you like to know?

What do insurance companies look for when insuring a rental house?

I may want to rent out a town home in DC. My insurance company says that they need to do an inspection of the house, inside and out. What will they be looking for? What can I do to prepare?""

About how much does full coverage auto insurance cost?

I'm just curious of how much a good estimate is. If you need a vehicle, try 2000 Honda civic.""

How much is it going to cost me a year for car insurance?

i will be 16 in august my car is a chevy cavalier im not sure of the year does anyone know how much it would cost a year for car insurance ?

Mexican car insurance?

If I drive into Mexico, do I need to get insurance for my car from a Mexican insurance company or is the American insurance valid there as well?""

Car insurance want my ssn for quote?

Im trying to get car insurance quotes and it seems that every website asks for my ssn. I just want to get a rough quote and don't want them to have my name, info, and ssn in their database. Why are they all asking for the ssn all of a sudden? Plus if I don't go with them or check different places for different quotes then my credit report is being hit with numerous inquires. Ahhhhhh! fustrating! Any suggestions? or is this just one of those things that Im going to have to just deal with and that's it?""

I cant get car insurance because I have bad credit?

please help! I have just passed my driving test and having a problem getting car insurance im 22 and i got bad credit from catalogs loans and overdrawn i dont own anything like a ...show more

Will admiral beat an online quote if I phone them?

Ok, So i've been quoted around 1000 for my insurance through the admiral site, I was wondering if they would beat that quote if I phoned them and spoke to them over the phone. Or are online deals always better?""

""NO MONTHLY PAYMENTS, underground CAR INSURANCE?""

I heard that there is a car insurance where you only pay $50 one time, no monthly payments, but you get absolutely NO coverage, so if you're in an accident you are basically screwed. it is a legal insurance if a cop pulls you over and check your insurance it comes up fine. Maybe there are other ones that range in fees? Either way does anyone know any companies that do THE ONE TIME FEE .... IT IS TO PURCHASE JUST THE INSURANCE CARD. BUT PASSES CLEAN LIKE YOU ARE COVERED. please help?""

Cheap auto insurance in mississauga area?

Hi, I am a 22 Year old, female, G2 driver. I was wondering if anyone knows of a good insurance company with cheap rates for a new driver for either a 2000 2DR Sunfire or 2002 Mazda Protege. The rates i've been coming across seem pretty high for a full time student. Also, I have no previous insurance history or any accidents. Thanks!!!""

Does anybody know any Insurance Company sell GAP insurance for a car bought more than 12 months ago?

I bought my car nearly a year ago and I do not have a GAP insurance. I am thinking to buy this GAP insurance but the companies I have spoken to said they only sell for the cars bought within last 30 or 90 days. So if any of you know a company does in my situation that ll be very helpful. Thank you very much

What is the difference between insurance and banassurance?

Ex. Insurance deals by LIC, GIC Banassurance deals by banks""

What's the best car for insurance. 17 y/o?

I'm 17 in two months and will need a car. Mum said a Renault Clio would be good. However which 3 door car (small) would be best on cheap insurance. Whatever suggestions would be brill

""Car insurance cheaper in New Orleans, LA or Suffolk County, New York??""

My daughter recently moved to New Orleans, LA as an intern temporarily....does anyone know if automobile insurance, all things being equal, will be more expensive in New Orleans, Louisiana or Suffolk County, New York ??? much thanx all""

Insurance on ford focus?

i recently came across a cheap ford focus 2000 edition, and recently passed my test and just wondering what would the insurance be like? exspensive? i really like the car but i dont want it if the insurance will be a bomb""

Is Diesel cheaper than gasoline for insurance?

i need a 4x4 truck, im 16, which is cheaper for insurance?""

Will car insurance pay for the following:?

I caused a damage to my car the other day by trying to pass between a truck parked in one lane of the road and the rest of the road. In another words there was some road works going on and only very tiny space for cars to pass. When trying to get through very slowly, I got stucked and when trying to reverse I broke my front bumper and done some other small cosmetic damages to the side of the vehicle. I am fully insured, my insurance is going to expire in about 2 months and I never made a claim before. I have bad experience with insurance companies in general and now am not sure how to follow and make insurance company to pay for the damages. There are some other damages done to the vehicle, for instance, a small stone from vehicle driving in front of me hit my windscreen and caused a small crack. I have no idea how to follow up and make the ins.company to pay. I am fed up with all travel, health and other insurance companies that just make excuses and never pay.""

""Insurance on rx7 fd , sti , and evo 9 ?""

I'm currently 16 and I got the money to buy rather a rx7 fd, sti, or a evo 9. I'm getting the car one I turn 17 and I would like to know the cost of insurance ! I wanna know both full and basic insurance. I am studying to be a mechanic and I was wondering if will give me a discount of I'm a mechanic ?""

How to get into a new Car Insurance?

About 1.5 yrs back my wife scratched another car while parking. The claim was settled using insurance. The expense was about $1500. Ever since that the insurance company, AAA, has been increasing our premiums by abt $35 on every renewal. Now I cannot switch or shop with other insurance company since they give quotes much higher than this company. But apart from this one incident we do not have anything else on our record. Also I get discount for Home+Auto insurance. The company increased prices on our Home Insurance too. I am badly stuck with this company now. I would like to buy Auto+home from one company itself. But I really cannot move my Auto Insurance. Please give suggestions.""

What kinds of insurance should I have?

I have several different kinds of insurance. I want to know which ones to keep. And what to get rid of. I'm looking for an objective opinion.

Do I have to transfer my car to get an insurance discount?.?

I'm moving back home for the school year because my parents live in the city I'm attending University at. I have my own car and my dad was telling me I should probably transfer the car into his name for ease, as I would get the house hold discount rate. To me this doesn't make any sense, and I know how controlling my parents are, is this another way for him to have some control on me?.. Or is this legit?.. I've never had any special rate or whatnot, I've been paying my own insurance since my first car. I just want to know. Does he need to OWN my car before I can be put on the household discount? * Both of our insurance plans are state farm if that helps* - Thanks in advance.""

What is the average cost of life insurance?

I know individual circumstances apply, but there must be an average monthly cost somewhere. 33 years old, Looking for term life insurance, 500K I was just given a monthly quote for $28 per month""

Will my insurance go up?

I am 17 and had insurance. I got into a wreck because i dint stop at a stop sign and hit a car. everybody was fine and i got a ticket for driving left of center and careless prohibited driving. So is my insurance bout to be high??

Buying auto insurance?

Can two brother's buy auto insurance regardless of if they live together or not?

Will my insurance rise if the accident was not my fault?

i was involved in a minor car accident which took place at a drive thru and the car in front of me reversed his car, and at the speed he had applied to the gas pedal was enough impact to smash my entire hood in and damage my front bumper. I filed a claim with my insurance as soon as I got home. The following morning the insurance company of the OTHER driver contacted me and verified that he will take full responsibility therefore my repairments will be covered by his insurance. Ive been reading online relating to my question, but in my case, will my insurance rate go up? This is also my very first accident and I've been ensured for 1 year since I've been driving.""

Car Insurance for youth?

What car insurance company is usually cheapest for a new driver with a car in the early 90's (1991 Grand Prix) for liablity only. I would go on with my parents but the company they have forces me to pay on every car they own and its just waaaay to much for me since im just starting out in the workforce

Car Insurance? (New Driver)?

EDIT: What further details would you like to know?

Health insurance please help?

When you roll over, job wise, when does your health insurance usually start?""

Car insurance help. please help me?

I am buying a 2011 camaro 2lt. Now here is what I am thinking. If i put my car under my dad's insurance will my insurance also be lower if i am listen under my dad's insurance and as one of the people who drives the car instead of having the car under my insurance?

What health insurance is best and affordable for my wife?

We had a baby 3 months ago, but I am looking for health insurance that is good and affordable for my wife. Any suggestions?""

Should I continue to pay for insurance on my old car?

I bought a new car last month and I called my insurance company to tell them, and they added the car onto my existing insurance for my old car. I've had to pay around 400. in the last month, for a car I no longer am driving. I'm trying to sell it, but it is just sitting in my garage. Should I have to pay for insurance on this car? Can't I just tell them that I'm not driving the car and I don't want to pay for insurance?""

How does a teen pay for car insurance?

I am 18 years old, and I plan on getting my driver's license, and in order to drive, you must have car insurance, of course. I also plan on going to college and I will be commuting from home to my classes. However, I plan on taking the bus to campus rather than driving all the time to class. So, my question is, since I won't driving often, just occasionally, how should I pay for car insurance, given the fact that car insurance is more expensive for young people and I will be a student and most likely won't be earning much. I also have to keep in mind for other car related things such as gas and maintenance. If you are or have been in a similar situation I would love to get some insight from you on how you have managed to handle this circumstance. Thank you.""

Which is better full coverage or liability auto insurance?

I live in wisconsin where it is not mandatory to have car insurance. I'm 26 and been driving since i was 16 without insurance and i'm planning on getting a policy started soon and i have no idea as to which type of insurance to get. I drive a 1997 chevy lumina with around 222,000 miles on it. If i get full coverage will it cover my car damages as well as the other persons damages or will liability do that and will i be required to pay a deductible? I am thinking about getting up to $100,000 in coverage.""

My car engine locked(died) should i report it to auto insurance (Geico)?

I have rental car coverage on my policy, I was wondering would reporting a claim to my car insurance company about my car engine locked will it raise my insurance rate. I was driving my car and the engine died on me. I really need a rental until my car is fixed.""

How much would Car Insurance cost?

I've been given a Ford Focus 1.6, 5 Door Zetec 03 Plate.. First of all it has a year Insurance can that just be transfered into my name? & also how much would Insurance cost for a new 19 year old Male driver?""

Car Insurance Problem Please Help!!!?

Hi everyone, somebody hit my car and drove off about 3 weeks ago. I phoned my insurance up and made a claim, the problem lies now on my son, who is the addtional driver and who hasnt been driving my car because he doesnt need to. The problem is that he has had drink driving conviction and no insurance conviction for about 3.5 years. Prudential my insurance company want to see my licence and his licence counterparts, BUT we completely forgot about the convictions etc. So now I have a problem where i think my insurance will be void but he doesnt drive the car nor was he involved in the accident. What happens now as they have requested both photocopies of our licences, is there a way out of this, thank you""

Kit Car Insurance?

How does insurance for a kit car work? I realize you have to specially register it and so forth, but are you charged for a 1986 Ferarri, 1966 Cobra, etc, or is it based on what the engine/chasis/etc came out of?""

How much will my driving insurance be for 16 yrs old?

Drivers Age: 16 type of car: Toyota liability limits: uh... none, i think, once i crash the car goes.. comp & collision?: idk driving record: just got it today lol credit score: perfect =P zip code where car is kept: 43221 its a rav4 crappy car, i just need a ball park geuss... my parents r trying to make me think its a lot more than i no it is, just so i dont drive... and stuff, yea... thanks justin""

GEORGIA drivers: Where did you get the lowest car insurance quote?

I am in GA and ready to find another auto insurance company. Your recommendations for the least expensive company appreciated.

Where can I find reasonably priced car insurance for a 17 male?

I am 16 years old, soon to be 17 and am looking for a reasonable car insurance quote. I am aware that being male and 17 both work against me in this situation, however the best quote I have found so far was with eCar at gocompare.com for 2340. I am thinking of getting a cheap 1996 Vauxhall Corsa as this has been the cheapest to insure when comparing quotes. I have tried Directline, gocompare, comparethemarket, moneysupermarket, tesco compare, insurance.co.uk, confused.com, uswitch.com, and beatthatquote.com. I really need something lower than what I have found so far, if you have any suggestions they would be greately appreciated. Thankyou.""

Affordable health care?

i work for a small company (5 employees) so we do not have a health plan. i don't have health insurance, but for my own and my families sake, i should get some. how can i get affordable coverage that i can rely on. i don't want some healthplan where i have to single out a clinic for all my needs (i travel alot throughout the country, so it should be a plan that is accepted in most states) plus i've heared about aflac as a supplement insurance that covers some basic things) ideas, suggestions?""

Insurance for you stocks?

Is there any type of insurance for purchasing stocks, like if I lose a lot of money somebody will pay me back? Why not? You just pay a premium every so often and if you lose the company gives you 75% percent back but take claim of your stocks, it would take the fear out of investing!""

How much my insurance will go up?

How much my insurance will go up? I had an accident which totaled my car. I am 100% at fault for that accident and my car worth 15000$. I have clear driving record and no tickets in past two years. How much will my insurance go up I am paying 900$ for six months

Question about car insurance.?

I just got my drivers permit, and i don't have a car of my own, my finance has been teaching me to drive in his car, and said once i get my license his parents will let me drive one of there old cars. I don't really know how car insurance works.. my finance is still on his family's insurance, since they get a discount for multiply cars (they have 5). My question is, would there insurance cover me driving there car? or would i have to get my own plan? and can i get a plan on a car i don't own?""

Can someone give me a rough estimate?

I'd like to get a vr6 Vw gti as a first car. How much would insurance be ( roughly ) for a 16 yr old male? NO LINKS TO INSURANCE QUOTES!!!

Car insurance rates for teens?

I just got my drivers license a little more than a month ago. My parents are telling me that they're going to wait for another year before they add me to their insurance policy because it'll be less expense by then. Is this true? I also read somewhere that the earlier you add a teen to your insurance policy, the rates will lower quicker because they insurance company know that i'll have some experience by then. So if my parents add me to their insurance policy now, would it be lower in a year compared to them waiting a year for them to add me?""

Please help me! car insurance!?

So my friend is selling me his car. Its not payed off yet and he cant give me the title until it is payed off. He doesn't have insurance on it. Can I put insurance on the car, even though I don't own it? And can't I just put Liability on it even though it's still being payed for?""

Homeowners insurance or renters insurance?

Okay so the person we were renting from had bought a house and is owner financing it for us. We just moved in and I was calling around about insurance and have been told so many things it's ridiculous! A few insurance companies told me I need homeowners insurance and a few told me I need renter insurance since the title is in his name not mine which makes sense but I don't want to end up with the wrong type of insurance. Help?!

Are there any car insurance companies that don't use a social security # when determining your rates?

I think it is horrible that they base car insurance rates on your credit history. Having bad credit doesn't make you a bad driver. If they are worried about you paying the bill, why do they make it HIGHER if you have bad credit? Isn't that a little messed up? Are there any companies that don't do this?""

What would have more insurance a 2007 dodge charger 3.5l or a 2004 Nissan 350z?

Need to know just overall what would be the better car and what would have better insurance rates

Multiple auro insurance for vehicles in different states?

Me and my fiancee are relocating to different states for new job. I am moving to south Carolina and she is moving to san diego, California. We have multiple vehicle insurance discount now. If we move is it better to register both vehicles in one state to save on insurance , title and registration. I heard it is expensive to register vehicles in california. Can I register the vehicle in my name in south carolina. she is going to be there working at UCSD and the stay is temporary (max 2 years) or is it against the law?""

I wanna rent my car out.What insurance policy do I need ?

I would like to rent out my extra car. What is the best coverage for that?I know if I go with 21.st century for example it will cover the car ,not the driver.But is there a specific insurance where if anything happens my rates wont go up? Like the one you purchase at the car rental places?""

Car Insurance? (New Driver)?

EDIT: What further details would you like to know?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/classic-car-insurance-thomas-west/"

[angelparentncl-blog]

First blog post

I dont know if anyone will ever read this, im unsure if I actually want people too. This is just somewhere I thought I would jot down my idea’s and thoughts as an Angel Parent.

Before I go any further, maybe it’s best to define what I mean when I say Angel Parent. In basic terms it means my child died. Her name was Lexi Jayne and she was as real as could be, I held her in my arms and kissed her little head and fell in love with her as soon as I saw her. I didn’t used to believe in love at first sight, but since it happened to me twice (the only other time was with my wife) I guess I have no choice.

I guess maybe I should also give a bit of back story. That’s where most things start isn’t it? The beginning.

So, I was fortunate enough to meet my wife at work, I still remember when she came for her interview, she was stunning (and you still are babes if you read this). I never thought I would have a shot. You have heard the term “punching above your weight” or “well out of your league”, this was the ultimate definition of this. But after becoming friends a little romance blossomed and the next thing you knew we were together (yay go me). What followed were a lot of ups and like any relationship a couple of downs. We got married on August 5th of 2012 and our next thought was “let’s start a family”. We tried and tried for a good 4 years. We were told that in theory nothing was wrong with us so everything was to do with weight. We tried diets and our weight went up and down over the next however many years. We were still unsuccessful. We eventually blamed stress from our workplaces at the time and decided to hold off until we were in a better mental state to attempt to conceive.

This was around February 2016. We had lots to look forward too in the year ahead. We had a trip to New York planned, We were discussing a family cruise on the Disney Magic, so much was going on. We decided to be one of those couples who would just holiday for a while and come back to the baby thing later. We after all had plenty of time. Nature is a funny thing though isn’t it? It was June 2016 around the 28th to be exact. Now this may be a bit too much information here so apologies in advance. But Rachael had been having funny periods for the past 2 month, something was off and she was, understandably, concerned. We scheduled a Doctors appointment for the 30th of June to see what the hell was going on. On the 29th of June Rachael decided to do a pregnancy test JUST IN CASE. There it was, the line we had always wanted to see, it was POSITIVE. More tests were taken just to be certain and every one positive, positive, positive. We were overjoyed. We were finally extending our family.

Our next step was telling our parents. At this time my in laws were currently on a cruise, so they were unreachable. But my parents were around. I know you’re meant to wait until 12 weeks to tell people but we had waited for so long we thought, fuck tradition, lets tell people now. We bought some pacifiers and put them into a gift bag and presented them to my mum. She was, at first, confused. Until it all clicked. I don’t think I have ever seen her so happy. I then told my auntie who had the same reaction, though honestly, not as grand. Which we totally understood, she has never really been a kid person, if we got a puppy it would be so different haha. The next day my in-laws were to arrive home. We were going to pop down that evening but decided on a facetime conversation instead. I still have the pictures (im sure I will upload them soon). The tears of joy and happiness still makes me smile. Things were looking good.

As you can imagine the next few months of our lives was filled with excitement, planning, buying and obviously nerves. We went for our first scan thinking we were at 12 weeks. We were wrong, just so much anticipation, turns out we were only 8. But they checked our baby out anyway and everything was progressing nicely. Finally got our 12 week scan and could see our little baby properly for the first time. Yes she was small on the screen but features could be made out. I’m not going to lie here, tears were shed. Its one of those moments when you finally have something that you have always wanted. Your own flesh and blood on the screen in front of you. It’s something you can never prepare for. I’m sure my fellow fathers understand this. Things were now real.

Another 8 weeks later we finally get our 20 week scan. I am so nervous but excited, I get to see my child again but only this time we get to know if were having a boy or a girl. Like every father the thought of a son slightly edges in front of a daughter. I never understood why this is but it happened (on a side note the reason I mention this is because I want this blog to be fully honest, im not going to lie about feelings etc and if you think im wrong for wanting a boy, im sorry its just how it was). So we have the scan we are told it’s a girl. My wife was elated and truth be told, so was I. Yes its not going to be my boy that I will play football with etc but its going to be a girl. I came to actually liking the idea of a girl more than a boy. Just that daddy daughter bond, being wrapped around her little finger, scaring away her first dates etc. I was excited. The 20 week scan also showed us something that we didn’t expect. She had an anomaly. It was on the umbilical cord and thought to likely be a cyst but we would need further testing to be sure. We left the scan room, honestly, nervous. But we were reassured that these things pop up on a daily basis and its nothing to worry about. This just needs to be confirmed by a specialist and things can continue as normal.

So, assured as we were we left, we started discussing names and told our proud parents they were due to have a granddaughter. We decided on the name Lexi Jayne. It just fit. Lexi it was. Our family happily shared the news online that Lexi was our decided name and how proud they were, typical mam n dad stuff really. We were booked in with our next scan the week later to see what was going on with this anomaly. We spoke to a new Doctor who scanned my wife and advised us that this is something more serious than a cyst. We needed to see another speciality doctor in another hospital. So a week later another appointment was made at the hospital in the centre of Newcastle. We were told to arrive for 3pm but expect a bit of a delay. 6pm, we finally get called through for our scan. We speak to the doctor and her nurse who inform us Lexi had what was known as an Umbilical Vein Varix. If you want more information on that, google is your friend here people, in general it means the vein in her umbilical chord is swollen at a point. We were again assured that this is fine, this is a very rare condition but death rates were low, in fact the number of recorded deaths due to this varix is 0. We were told we need to be monitored every other week to check on growth as that’s the only thing we need to worry about.

So again we left happy. We had another scan of our daughter where it looked like she was yawning and had her hand over her mouth. I won’t lie, this had to be my favourite scan pic. It showed us a bit of her personality, we also got a pic of her massive foot which had been kicking Rachael for some time now. We then understood why it hurt so much haha. So more scans came and went and we got to watch our daughter grow every 2 weeks. Though we did have 1 more visit to the hospital in Newcastle centre. The doctors did a 3d scan (though I think they’re called 4d and I can never figure out why). He stupidly left it on the monitor as he went out the room, so free snap from my phone later and we had the perfect image haha. At this point my wife is starting to panic a bit, we haven’t really had time to start on Lexi’s room yet. Its getting close to December and Lexi is due in March. I assured her things would be ready on time and I have plans in place. I don’t think she believed me but I genuinely did have plans. We were to move the furniture out that we currently had in the beginning of December (which did get done) then around the 2nd or 3rd week my mam was going to start on the decorating of the room and the new year would bring in all of her furniture we would need. Speaking of decorating we decided we were going to have a Lilo and Stitch themed room. For a few reasons, one, we love stitch, stitch is awesome, don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise. Secondly the message in that movie that “ohana means family, family means no-one gets left behind, or forgotten” is something we thought was a nice motto for our family. Decals were bought and ready to go on walls. Everything was coming along nicely.

Thursday December 15th 2016. This is a day I will never forget for the rest of my life. It started out as any normal day would with the exception that my wife had a routine midwife appointment. I did my usual, get ready, kiss my wife goodbye and go to work routine. I was sat at work when I received an email at around 12:00. “I need you to come pick me up, somethings wrong with Lexi”. Okay, I was nervous. I left work and went to collect my wife who was waiting in the doctors surgery. During this time I had tried to contact my mam to let her know what was going on. No answer, sometimes getting in touch with the pope is easier than getting in touch with my mam haha. But I got to my wife, she gets in the car and tells me that her midwife cant find Lexi’s heartbeat on the doppler device. I wave this off immediately thinking she is just being awkward like her dad.  My mam calls me back and we tell her the news, she is exactly the same, waves it off, she will be fine, of course she will.

I drop my wife off at the door and I go park the car. On the way in I smoke a cigarette, I have plenty of time. I go to the ward my wife is meant to be on. As I walk in…. the only word I can use to describe this next feeling is, Fuck. The ward is quiet apart from 1 voice. That 1 voice is screaming and crying and is a noise I will never get out of my head for the rest of my life. The other thing that was very distinguished about this voice is I recognised it. I knew immediately who it was. It was my wife. I walked to the reception head down asking for her, they sent me to another desk, I asked again for my wife, they sent me back to the original desk. It’s at this point I see someone I missed earlier, a nurse. I ask again for my wife. She has that look in her eye and I know what she is going to tell me. Her words were “are you Neil?” I say “yes” she is just about to go onto the whole I’m sorry I have bad news speech and I had to cut her off “I’m not stupid” I said “I can hear my wife screaming, my daughter is dead, where is she?” I was taken into a room where my wife is sat (thankfully with my sister who seen her come in) we all just embraced for a few minutes while things were confirmed 100%.

The next part of the day is all a bit of a blur. There are things I remember, things I try not too remember and because of this the order of stuff is a bit all over the place. We were sat in the same room being told that the next steps were we need Rachael to take a tablet, this would start to dissolve the placenta and start the process of getting our daughter out. At this point were trying to phone families to explain what the hell is going on. Were clearly in shock, I managed to get in touch with my mam again (which is rare, see pope comment). This is one part I will never forget. I had to tell my mam that her only grandchild was dead. How do you do this. I was choking back tears and all I could mutter out was, “it’s bad news mam, she’s gone” Unable to comprehend she was replying “what do you mean? Who’s gone?”. I knew what I had to say, it was difficult, it took all of my strength but I got the words out “Lexi is dead”. Everything on the phone went silent. You could hear the tears forming from my mam as she was trying to comprehend what her son was saying to her. Through muttered crying my mam asks how and I cant give her an answer. She said she will meet us back at home and see us soon. Her hanging up breaking her heart will live with me for the rest of my life. During this time we are trying to get in touch with my in-laws, who for once, are harder to get a hold of than my mam. We finally get through and I cant answer much for this as I wasn’t on the phone, but they’re told, I know they’re upset and they make their way to the hospital.

We sit for what feels like an eternity as we are told what the next steps of our journey will be. We finally have the tablet, the 3 of us are sitting in a room of sadness, a room of tears and a room of disbelief. After a while my in-laws appear and provide some much needed comfort to us all. We explain what has gone on and what is happening next. During this time we get moved to another room to get our heads around and prepare for the next few days. We are told we will be send home and we will need to return on Saturday. My wife wants to drink but due to the tablet she cant. So we opt for smoking again instead (my wife had stopped when she was pregnant). All I remember at this point is pacing the floor, my in-laws asking if I am okay and drinking coffee. We finally gather the courage to leave the hospital. We all go to the shop and pick up some essentials. For us cigarettes, for my in laws, food to keep our strength up. We arrived at the house first followed quickly by both sets of parents. We sat, we cried and we had cups of tea and coffee (yes the British way to sort ANY problem is a good ole fashioned cuppa). We talked a lot and for a long time. Eventually everyone left and it was just us. As much as we probably didn’t know it but at the time this was just what we needed. We needed time as a couple and just as a couple to figure our own shit out. We decided we would buy Lexi a star so she would always be remembered.

The next day was a bit of a blur. We had to go shopping and return some items we had bought (bottles etc) and also buy the kind of items women need when they are to give birth. On a side note with that, there are few places you can go to collect these supplies, if by chance you are reading this and working in one of these type of shops, please move it away from the baby aisle. Yes this is great for someone who is due to give birth to a healthy and alive child, to someone who has been told their child has died and is going to have a stillbirth, not so much. One of the things I remember about this day was trying to hold back tears in public. It’s strange as a male, were not meant to cry. Even when going through the worst pain imaginable all I could think was don’t let anyone see you cry. Also I was thankful that my mam was free that day to drive us around. The lack of food and lack of sleep since the day prior would have made driving a difficult and stupid task. I think to my mam she saw this as a small thing, but she will never know how much we needed this and how thankful we were. Another foodless day and sleepless night followed. The next day was hospital day.

So the big day is here, we get Rachael packed up take a few supplies, pop to the shop on the way and pick up some cigarettes, just enough for the day as we suspect we will be home in a few hours. Boy were we wrong. We arrived at the hospital at around 11:50 am, we stand outside taking everything in and before we go in, we have a quick smoke. We can see other people judging us, and we understand it, were pregnant and smoking. The only difference is smoking cant harm our baby, nothing can anymore. We go to the birthing suite and settle in to our room which in this hospital is known as “the Willow Room”. Our main midwife comes in and introduces herself. Her name is Jenny. She is a specialist bereavement midwife who deals with these sort of cases (actually if you google Jenny you will also see she has won awards for this, she really is amazing). She explained the procedure we would have to go through to get Rachael induced and to get Lexi out. The plan was every 4 hours she would have to have a tablet inserted into her cervix to basically force labour. After putting our minds at rest about our own worries and everything else she left the room for us to settle in. The willow room in the hospital is very different to other birthing suites, We had tea and coffee facilities, a sofa that turned into a double bed and the room was generally quite a bit bigger. There was also a book and a box with a camera in for us to take pictures with when our angel arrived. We looked at the book and it was stories of everyone who had been in the willow room prior to us. It was a deeply harrowing experience to read other people’s stories about their loved ones who were taken away so soon, but at the same time, it was comforting to know we weren’t alone, again more tears were shed.

It was around 2pm when Jenny came back to our room and we got things started. I remember asking Rachael how it was with the tablet and she kept a brave face and said as much as it was uncomfortable going in it was okay and she was fine. So we settled in to what would be our home for the next while. We chatted between each other and with the midwives when they appeared, went for a few cigarettes, watched tele, played on our phones etc, just like you would do normally. I really liked this room. It became our own personal bubble. The day turned to night and Rachael had already had another tablet. Nothing was moving, In all honesty, we expected to be home by now. We thought this would be a very quick procedure, induced couple of tablets and boom Lexi would be out. I remember phoning my mam saying things were taking longer than expected and I needed some things brought to us like food and more cigs. My mam being the gem that she is was down immediately with a bag full of goodies to snack on and more cigs to keep us going. She didn’t stay for long but we were grateful for the company. Another thing about being in the Willow Room, you get whatever you want. As most of you will know, hospitals have set visiting hours, not in the Willow Room. We could have visitors at any time we wanted, if there was stuff we wanted we only need ask (I even got meals brought to me and this hospital food was nice man). The other difference was a very subtle one, our room had a blue butterfly sticker on the door. The butterfly system is a great idea and again I recommend you look into it if you are curious.

One thing that made us quite popular with the midwives was our box of heroes, every time someone came in chocolate was offered. It was a small way to show the midwives how much we appreciated the care they had given us so far. So the night passed again being woken up every 4 hours for a tablet. Rachael was getting quite uncomfortable now which is understandable. Basically, the tablet would dissolve around her cervix and every time a new one was added it would feel gritty. It was one of those helpless moments where there was nothing I could do but hold her hand, tell her how amazing she was and how proud I was of her. Another slight tangent here, because we were on the birthing suite quite often during the night we would hear other women come into the other rooms, scream and then hear the baby cry. As you can imagine this was quite distressing but thankfully we had the TV to drown this out. Plus midwives would always come in and check on us make sure we were okay. Also it was during this time me and Rachael decided that when we have our rainbow baby, we don’t want a big deal made of it in the hospital, which means no balloons or anything substantial brought in while we are there. This can be saved until we are home. The amount of distress this caused to both me and the wife when we were going outside or for a walk just made us decide that’s how it will be. We don’t want to put other angel parents through that.

Sunday came around and still no movement. It got to 2pm and we were told that Rachael now gets a 24 hour break from the tablets, this came as great news to us, finally she could relax and maybe sleep without being woken through the night. We were introduced to some new midwives along the way, we met Anne who was a bubbly Scottish girl and who in the evening just sat and cried with us and tried her best to get us smiling again. She was very much like a mother figure and was a very open and honest person. She was amazing at comforting us and was there for us during our time of need without being in the way. We also met Judy. Now Judy was a funny one. I wasn’t sure about her at first she seems a little less friendly than Anne and Jenny but again maybe I was tired. Turns out, that’s all it was. After a late night cigarette the wife got slightly triggered again by people taking their healthy babies home. We got back to our room and she just broke down and cried in my arms. Judy clearly saw something was wrong and joined us. She was so kind and understanding and we sat talking for what must have been an hour. Showing pictures of our pets and family pets and discussing their personalities etc it really was a welcomed distraction.

Monday morning rolled around and still no Lexi. We knew that the tablets would be starting again soon so we made the most of our morning.  Take a bit longer in the shower than normal and just generally have a bit of a relax before the afternoon rolled around. 2pm quickly struck us though and Rachael was prepped for another tablet. It was still painful but we tried to make light of the situation (Rachael at one point offering me to get my prostate checked, at the snap of the glove I politely declined). By this time we had another visit off mam to bring us more goodies and more cigs and a bit more general conversation. During this time I was keeping the rest of the family updated via text or Facebook Messenger so they knew what was going on. Because of how far my in laws lived we didn’t want to make them do such a long journey when my mam was closer, even though I know they would if we needed them too. It got to Monday night and there was still no movement. Rachaels cervix hadn’t changed and Lexi showed no signs of appearing any time soon. It was December 19th and we feared we would still be here on Christmas Day.

Tuesday December 20th. Rachael had been on tablets all day Monday and nothing was moving. She got a tablet at around 2-3am and she was in pain. The tablets really had taken their toll on her, I have never felt so helpless. Rachael finally opted to take some gas and air to help with her pain. I folder up my bed and sat with her to keep her company and try to help with her pain. Judy was our midwife again and she would periodically come to check on us. As the hours went on Rachael’s pain got more and more severe. She went to the toilet and something unplugged (im not sure on the terminology here, I probably should be but im not). I was told to tell Judy about what had happened. This was at about 5am. Judy came back and checked on her, things were moving along now and very quickly. We were told we could have dihydromorphine when labour started to help with the pain. Judy told me to let her know when things moved along again and she would go get this for her. It got to approximately 5:10 am and at that point Rachaels waters broke, This was again one of those things I’d never forget. Normally when waters break (from what I’m aware) this should all be clear liquid. This was not the case with us. When Rachael’s water broke it was red, it was a lot of blood. This was the sign of things happening. I’m not going to lie people, I panicked. I needed to find the call button as there was no midwife I could see. I followed the chord but couldn’t see the button, it was in the cupboard but my brain could not comprehend it. All I knew is I couldn’t see it. Finally when I wracked my head to being able to open the cupboard door I pressed the button, Judy was there immediately. Turns out we didn’t have time for the dihydromorphine, Lexi was coming and she was coming fast.

The birth was a standard birth apart from Lexi coming out butt first. I held Rachael’s hand as she pushed and she delivered Lexi on only gas and air, she did so well. It was weird as much as there was people in the room once Rachael stopped pushing a Lexi was out there was a silence, the crying you expect to hear and pray to hear wasn’t there. I remember for about a good 20 minutes I just sat there, looking out the window crying. I couldn’t look at Lexi and I couldn’t look at anyone else, although I did look while they gave my wife a huge injection in her leg to flush the placenta and being amazed that she didn’t feel it. We did have a laugh about that later. Once the midwives had finished up with Rachael I finally got the courage to look at her. Wow she was beautiful, I know everyone says their child is beautiful but she really was. Perfect little nose, eyes were kind of open so we could tell she had brown eyes, unfortunately she had my nose and not Rachaels and she had little wisps of brown hair. She was born at 5:18 am and when she was weighed she was 2lb 9oz. Judy stayed with us for a while and helped us to bathe Lexi, She asked if I wanted to do it but I didn’t have the strength. We got plenty of photo’s though and got her wrapped up in a towel. Next some clothes were brought in as she was too small for the clothes we had for her. She was wrapped in a little pink blanket and we finally got to hold our angel. Rachael had first hold, as she should I might add. You could see the pain in her eyes as she stared at our first born child. Tears were strolling down her cheek and she could not stop apologising even though she was not at fault. Lots of cuddles and kisses later it was my turn. Dear reader I have a confession to make here, holding a child has always been a huge fear of mine, what if I drop her, what if I don’t hold her right what if I make her uncomfortable etc etc. But I sat down and took her into my arms, it felt so natural. I have never felt such a surge of love and sadness at the same time before in my life. I just broke down. Here she was, my precious little daughter in my arms, I was finally a dad. The only difference is I couldn’t take my daughter home. We took lots of pictures and let our parents know Lexi was finally here and arranged their visiting times.

The first person to arrive was my Auntie, now you may recall I mentioned her earlier in the story, she was the prefer dogs to kids lady. She sat down with Lexi, had a bit of a hold and got lots of photo’s taken. You could see the pain in her eyes, this is not what we expected and I don’t think she expected it either. You could see the bond form between them instantly. We still joke to this day about how I would have understood more if it was our puppy who died. It just shows how much of a big heart my auntie has and she still to this day will cry when Lexi is mentioned. I know that if she had survived they would have been inseparable. We left my auntie babysitting while we went for our first smoke of the day. Later was time for my in laws to arrive, they brought us some McDonalds as a bit of a snack to get some other food in us which was greatly appreciated. Again more cuddles were had and more photo’s taken. My mam and Steve (her partner) followed. I was again surprised by the reaction of Steve. Bit of background here (ie another tangent). So, my mum had only recently got together with Steve earlier in the year. He had known us less than a year when Lexi was born. I will always remember when he walked into the room he just burst into tears. He came over and got himself some cuddles too and we made sure to get photo’s so he could keep that memory alive forever. Something like this I believe shows true character and his reaction to Lexi well and truly cemented my opinion of Steve as being a genuinely nice guy with a heart of gold. More photo’s later and lots of discussion (it was a noisy room at this point) Rachael’s sister walked in. Unfortunately it did get to the point where Lexi was becoming to deteriorated to hold anymore and needed to stay in her cold cot. Vic (Rachaels sister) did manage to give her a kiss and old onto her hand for a while so she did get some bonding time. A Little about Victoria, (again another tangent). Ever since I have known Vic she has always been strong willed and strong minded and VERY strong emotionally. She rarely shows when she is upset unless it really gets to her, she is a proud person and has every right to be and its an honour to be able to call her my sister in law. She can hold people together when needed and be that support that you want without being condescending toward you.

The reason I mention above is due to what happened when Vic walked in the room. She came in all happy and hey everyone being bubbly as normal. Went to Lexi’s cold cot, took one look and immediately turned away to try to hide the fact she was crying. She was clearly too late cos I saw her and went to give her a hug. So we all just kind of chilled in this room and eventually we got notice that the bereavement officer was here to see us. Her name was Kara. We took this as a sign for everyone to leave (apart from Vic, we wanted her to stay as she hadn’t been long, she waited outside for us to finish up with this next part). Kara introduced herself as the person no one ever wants to meet. We made a joke about this and complimented how lovely she actually was and we would happily speak to her again, just preferably under better circumstances. We got through the paperwork that was needed and immediately afterwards the registry officer was here. Another while of getting all of her details registered. She didn’t get a birth or death certificate, she got a certification of stillbirth. This means she will still have a record of life in a way and will still be acknowledged. What did get a bit creepy was towards the end of the registration, the lady doing this kept looking at us funny all throughout the process. It got to the end and she asked, are you married? We said yes, she asked when we got married and where. We told her and the penny dropped. The lady registering the death of our daughter registered our marriage. It was a nice but shocking revelation. Eventually everyone left and we spent some time Me, Rachael, Vic, and Lexi. More bonding later it was time for Vic to go.

We sat for a while just the 3 of us now, s a few nurses we spoke to throughout the time came in to see her and tell us how beautiful she was and offer hugs and support. Finally it hit around 5:30 pm and we decided for Lexi’s sake, it was time to say goodbye. She was deteriorating quickly and we didn’t want her to anymore. We also met another bereavement midwife called Nira. We told her it was time for Lexi to go.  We put her teddy in her basket and sent her on her way re-assured we could get her back any time we wanted. We decided we would stay another night in our little hospital bubble. My mam brought us more McDonalds, a meal this time though and we all sat and chatted for a bit. We fell asleep ready to depart in the morning.

We awoke around 8:15 am after a rough night sleep, we decided to quickly go for a smoke before getting ready to go. On our way we passed Kara again who advised she had a little present for us but was nervous about giving it because of our stance on religion (we’re both atheist). We were absolutely gobsmacked that someone had thought of us who we barely knew and told her not to worry and to pop up and see us when she is free. We finished our cigarettes, went upstairs and had some toast and started to pack. Kara turned up and presented us with this little Christmas decoration of an Angel with Lexi’s name on it. It was beautiful and we thanked her profusely. We were later told that Kara never does this, she was just so touched by us and our story she couldn’t resist. We have spoke to Kara since and she really is an awesome lady. We finally went home and prepared for what would be a very strange Christmas.

I will skip over Christmas because I am sure you can guess how it was. Lots of tears, lots of alcohol and lots of what ifs. Its to be expected.

I will skip to just before new year. We finally got notice that Lexi’s body had been released after post mortem. We will be made aware when she is in the chapel of rest ready for us to go visit her and finish off the rest of the funeral arrangements. Actually (I swear I make a lot of tangents) on a side note. This again goes to show how amazing the hospital was. Once we got everything sorted we were also advised that Lexi’s funeral would be paid for by the NHS/hospital trust. This was a HUGE weight off our minds. Not a single expense was spared, we got cars, the chapel of rest, coffin all made for to our specification. All we needed to pay for was flowers. The funeral was organised by the co-op and I must admit, they were brilliant from start to finish. I will discuss the funeral more in the next section.

So once we found out Lexi was available to be visited again we got everyone who wanted too together and we went to see her. I went in first to make sure she hadn’t deteriorated too much. She was still perfect. Her teddy was still sat with her protecting her and making sure she was not alone. We organised songs with the directors and the priest guy who was going to do the service. We ordered flowers and everything was set for the day.

It was a cold morning, the wind was blowing and the air felt very crisp. The flowers were delivered, the family was here. All we were waiting for now was Lexi. We got in the car, the coffin was not on show, and took the small drive to the crematorium. We had come to the decision that I was to carry her down the aisle. That’s all I could think about on the way. How can I do this? Am I strong enough? Am I going to break down? Am I going to drop her? Etc etc. We pulled in and everyone was inside the building due to the weather though a small smattering of people waited outside. One of those people was a friend of my grandmother. She was stood right where the first car stopped. I am so thankful for this as seeing her was like seeing my gran and that gave me the strength to do what I had to do. I walked over gave her a big hug and thanked her for coming. Immediately turned to the right and picked up my daughters baby pink coffin. There is a saying, “the smallest boxes are the heaviest”. Never before has that felt so true. I walked my daughter down the aisle for what would be the only and last time as precious child played in the background. I somehow held it together. The service was the same as any other, slightly less religious for us but it was still beautiful. I don’t know if there is such a thing as a perfect funeral, but if so, this was it.

I guess the last thing to mention story wise was getting post mortem results. It was found to be that Lexi had the Varix which was an issue and also had a Whartons Jelly Deficiency. Basically this means her cord wasn’t protected. Both of these conditions are very rare and we know that we will not get these again. But for now, we work on our rainbow baby and doing things for baby loss charities.

If you have read this far thank you. More will be coming soon on the life of an angel parent.

[deadmumdiary]

The death of my dead mum lol

This story starts on Monday the 15th of October 2012 at 3.36pm

I was walking to the bus stop home from school like I usually did, dad called me and said that he was gonna come to pick me up so we could drive into the hospital to see mum. This wasn’t unusual because she had been in and out of hospital for the past 5 years, and this particular moment of my life, heading into Wellington Hospital was fucking annoying, I would have much rather gone home to skype my mates and talk about NCEA level 1. I remember complaining to my friend Celine that I didn’t want to go in, Dad said to me I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to but Celine convinced me It was the nice daughterly thing to do, also I know that these late avo trips into Welly hospital meant sushi or noodle canteen for dinner so I decided I would go. Got there and had a chat with mum, dad gave her a foot massage while i played with the photo app on the iPad, then I drew a picture of our 2 cats and 3 chickens on the whiteboard in mums room. She was always beautiful, everyone always said to me how she didn’t look sick. Seeing her in hospital was so normal for me now, so even though she was in compression socks and a gown I still thought she looked like a queen.

“When will you be out of here mum?”

“Probably in a couple of days, we have to do a check on my wrist vein thing for the blood dialysis machine”

Shit like this was absolutely normal too, I mean I used to pride myself on shaking up her blood test blood capsule things.

“See ya later, I love you mum”

I’m writing this now and it’s really odd thinking about it. It’s almost been 5 years but I haven’t tried remembering the story this much in depth, like ever I think.

That night I think, I can’t remember the time and I can’t remember what I was doing but Dad rushed into my room and said that he had to head into the hospital because something was wrong with mum, he said I shouldn’t worry, and that my Aunty Carmel was coming over, but I was really fucking worried because why would he have to go in late at night if something wasn’t wrong? I wish I was old enough to drink wine back then. Aunty came over and I remember cuddling her and crying on the couch. Dad didn’t come home that night but I remember that I ended up falling asleep on the couch and then Dad woke me up in the morning and said that we have to go into the hospital because over the night mum had gotten worse and she had started having seizures, something about her heart had messed up and wasn’t sending oxygen to her brain or something? I remember being really fucking confused by this because she had multiple myeloma cancer, and then also kidney failure, but why the fuck was her heart shitting out? I got to the hospital and there were so many people in the room, I pushed in and held mums hand. She was having seizures so she was opening and closing her mouth and eyes and moving her head around, they had to keep giving her medication to calm her body down, they said she couldn't hear or see me, but she kept reaching out her hand and looking at me right in the eye, I was certain she could. I was 15 so every 20 minutes someone would take me out of the room to sit in the waiting area when her seizures were getting too crazy, I remember thinking that I wasn’t a kid and I didn’t wanna leave and that I could handle it, but no one let me do what I wanted to, which was totally not their fault, I don’t think anyone knew what the “right” thing to do was, so I don’t blame them.

I didn’t cry at the hospital, I hadn’t cried since the night before when Dad said he had to head in. Dad had his guitar at the hospital, ⅔ of mums sisters, My Nana, My mums friend and her husband, my dad and me were all in the room. I think we sung Don’t Worry by Bob Marley but I can’t really remember now. I actually don’t remember what happened next, I don’t think the machine made a loud beep noise for ages or anything, I don’t think there was pain, I just remember her being dead. I remember looking at her face go from skin colour to a purple grey, I remember Dad shutting her eyes with his fingers like they do in movies, and I remember being so amazed at how cold and hard her body turned straight away. She died in my arms, I was holding her hand, and then there was just nothing. I remember being confused and concerned about how life could disappear from someone so quickly. We left quite soon after she died, if I could have changed something about that day (apart from her just not dying) I think I would have liked to stay and just be there with her for a bit. I remember holding my dads hand like I was 5, I was confused and it’s like I forgot how to be a functioning human for a bit, I had to be led around by dad to get anywhere because I couldn’t control my legs on my own, I couldn’t talk either, It was like everything in the whole world was really foreign. I remember feeling like i couldn’t remember how to do anything anymore. It was 10.40, i remember this because that’s when morning tea would be if I was at school. I called my friend Natalie to tell her and the rest of my friends that mum had died, they thought I was taking the piss because I wasn’t crying, I didn’t sound sad either I guess, I think I was numb. I remember her starting to cry on the phone, I remember being confused about that, I dont know why I was confused because thats a pretty normal reaction.  

Me and dad walked into the elevator and my mums last sister came out and asked how everything was going, she got stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital, I think she could tell what happened because she just started to scream, I remember feeling worse for her than I did for myself, I think dad was pretty upset because he just pointed to the room and got in the elevator. While we were driving home we had our usual playlist on but Yesterday by the Beatles played and me and Dad were both like ahhhh.

I can’t remember what happened for the rest of the day, like at all. We must have got home at maybe 1pm. I remember having my first full blown panic attack that night when I was in bed. It would have been 2am or 3am, nearly 17 hours after mum had actually died, It was the first time I had cried. I remember dad sitting on the bed with me crying, and i was screaming at the top of my lungs and kicking my legs and flailing my arms about, I couldn’t control anything that was happening to me, I can’t remember calming down, I think I must have exhausted my body and fallen asleep.

I can’t remember anything from the next day until about 5pm because we had a BBQ at my house, I remember me and all of my friends and cousins sitting up on the road, I remember chain smoking rollies with my cousins who didn’t know I smoked at that point, but they didn’t mind giving my ciggies. I remember talking about IUD’s and ingrown toe nails, and i remember that my friend Ben was wearing Nike shoes. It’s quite funny the things you remember in these situations.

I cant remember Thursday, The funeral was on Friday, I didn’t cry, I wrote something stupid on her coffin, I thought I was being a cool adult at the time, I wish I wrote something silly and honest. Dad didn’t want me to go to the place where the coffin gets cremated, I think he thought It would be too much for me, but I remember leaving the funeral as soon as it had finished so I could go to my friend Nick’s house to smoke cigarettes. I remember that my cousin bought me a box of smirnoff Ice at the after party of the funeral. I remember being kind of drunk, my whole family was there, It was a cool party.

I can’t really remember any of the days after that, I can’t really believe how much of this whole situation I can’t really remember, lots of it is really blank to me which i find quite interesting really, I think my brain is doing that on purpose. Weird lol. But yeah shit happens and that is my story.