#i have a bad astigmatism and they KNOW i have a bad astigmatism and yet

[bananasofthorns]

what if You wanted to be able to see while driving at night but the eye doctor said 🤷‍♂️ anti-glare lens coating

[itsharleystuff]

↳ I. 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘓𝘋 𝘊𝘓𝘈𝘚𝘚 𝘚𝘐𝘕𝘕𝘌𝘙

Gif not mine! | Read part two here.

— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dbf!Joel Miller x afab!fem reader (no outbreak au)

— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.4k

— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After two years of absence and finally graduating college, it’s time you go back to Texas; to come home with your dad. But the prospect of facing the Joel Miller, your dad’s best friend and your secret crush, has your mind scattered.

— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), smoking, alcohol consumption, age gap (reader is twenty four, Joel is late forties), oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, spitting, mentions of masturbation, pet-names (sweetheart, darling), moral conflict, semi-public sex, slight dirty talk, pussy-drunk Joel, no use of y/n. I think that’s it, let me know if I missed something:)

— a/n: I honestly have tons of ideas for this particular universe, so I might make more parts if y’all like it<3 btw, reader is a fashion designer in this. Thought it might be important to mention, lol.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

You had never met him before. Not in person, at the very least.

Up until a while ago, you'd only seen him in the pictures your dad kept hanging around the house. And he had plenty of those: both of them in college, a road-trip with other friends or even after a hunt. Of course, you'd heard a lot about him too, but whenever you visited Texas your dad would dedicate his whole days to you exclusively. No time to visit his best friend-slash-neighbor, despite all the opportunities presented.

So the first time you ever saw him face to face was two years ago, in a Fourth of July barbecue he hosted.

Joel Miller.

Joel mother-fucking Miller.

Tall, broad, rugged looking, moody and with a seemingly stern exterior. An absolute dilf.

You always found him rather appealing— nothing but a silly little thought from whenever you would stare at the photographs. But meeting him personally was a whole eye-opening experience, like getting glasses after discovering you’ve had astigmatism your entire life.

"He liked you, y'know?" your dad had told you the next day. "Joel isn't usually that nice."

"Maybe it's because I'm your daughter," you joked. "I bet that helped with my impression."

"No," said him, laughing and shaking his head, "it was something else."

You didn't interrogate him on the matter. Whatever it was, you sure were glad to be in his grace.

That summer you saw a lot of him— specially since it was the longest you had spent in Austin ever since your mom passed away. You were twenty two at the time, right in the middle of your college studies. But the amazing thing about Joel was that he never made you feel patronized, neither did he treat you like you had to fit in the 'best friend's daughter' box. He was nice and made you feel comfortable in all ways possible.

Frankly, deep down you wanted him to be an asshole. If that were the case, you could've had the perfect excuse to push him away. Instead, your crush simply grew stronger.

Because, fucking hell, the man was hot in a striking, yet brooding manner. Joel Miller was attractive in the way a man is supposed to be attractive. Which was quite a contrast compared to the boys that usually neared you, who had no sense of themselves and were always fooling around with no idea what they were doing.

It was so bad that even now, after two years without seeing him —or your dad, for that matter— you feel anxious and eager at the thought of a reunion.

You're now officially graduated, and after a lifetime of traveling the states to visit both your parents, added to four years of college in New York, it's finally time to settle down for a while. To move in with your dad and make up for the lost time.

"Are you really going to stay in Texas?" Sophie, your best friend, asked through the phone speaker. "After all these years in the big city?"

"Yeah, I ought to stay with him. After all, we're the only family we've got," you replied, staring out the window of the cab. "When I told him I was coming he got so excited, you should've heard him. He said he'd throw me a homecoming party, can you believe that? Who's even going to attend?"

You hear her giggle on the other side. "What about that Mr. Miller you always brag so much about?"

"What about him?" you wondered with half strained voice.

"Oh, don't play coy, honey," she mocks. "We both know how much you want him to give you a sweet old Texan welcome."

"I have no idea what that is," you respond, smiling.

"I just made it up. No idea what they do in the south. I'm from Brooklyn." Of course she made it up. "But I meant it's pretty obvious how much you want his head between your legs..."

"Okay, yeah- I get it." You interrupt, starting to see familiar houses from your dad's neighborhood. "You're right. But he's... Righteous. Apparently."

"Sweetie, let's be honest," Sophie talks softly, "no man is righteous. Just show them a bit of skin and they'll be wrapped around your finger forever."

"I'm not sure I-"

"Try it. And keep me updated," she mumbles hastily. "I've got to go now. I have an appointment with the Ralph Lauren executives in ten minutes."

"Treat them nicely, Sophie. Don't waste my recommendation letter," the girl laughs.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm serious about Miller, though. Be sure to wear something low-cut. Bye, bye!"

She hangs up right when you're outside the house; the one you knew so well and at the same time felt so unknown. The one where you spend each summer and occasional holiday in. Your childhood home. Oddly enough, the door is open but you can't see your dad anywhere near. You hoped he'd be around to help you with the luggage, though it didn't seem like it.

"Dad?" You call for him from the entrance, carrying both heavy suitcases. "Anyone here?!"

The faint noise of footsteps is barely audible before you see him leaning against the kitchen door, arms crossed over his sturdy chest.

Breathtaking.

"M'not your old man but pretty sure I can help you with that," he says with that characteristic Texan drawl of his, gesturing towards your cases.

"But if it isn't Joel Miller in the flesh," he tilts his head with a faint smile, approaching your side. "You haven't aged a day since I last saw you."

It was true. Perhaps his skin looked a bit more tan, his hair somewhat longer and curlier, his beard starting to gray. But everything else remained the same. He smelled just like you remembered —fresh soap and musky cologne—, and still held onto the same mode choices: flannels, boots and dark jeans.

"Quite the opposite to ya," he says, taking both your suitcases from your hands. "I like your new hair."

"Are you implying I look old?" Joel grins smudgily.

"None of that, darlin'. I'd say mature." His words manage to make your pulse raise. "Shall I take this upstairs?"

"Yeah, I- I'll walk you to my room," he chuckles as he steps on the stairs. "What?"

The man shakes his head as he makes his way to the second floor, followed closely by you. Nothing about this house seemed different. Nevertheless, you felt different.

"Nothing. S'just..." he takes a deep breath, but changes the subject quickly. "Your dad went to the store to get some beers. He'll be back any second."

You nod, opening the door to your dorm. It was exactly the same as it was two years ago, simply tidier and with a poster that read 'welcome home and happy graduation' in messy, colorful handwriting over your bed.

"He made that himself. Though, I've gotta say, I'm glad he didn't pursue an artistic career." You both laugh at the comment.

"A for effort." Joel sets your luggage next to the doorframe, being monitored by your keen eye. "Will I see you tonight? I know you're not a big fan of social gatherings."

"Your dad'll kill me if I'm not. He's got me here since ten o'clock to help him out." You look up at him, feeling vaguely nostalgic when watching your surroundings. "But I'm also hoping we'll catch up. I'd like to hear all about your adventures in the big city, aight?"

"Oh, I'm not sure you'd like that," you retort. "I'm afraid you'll see a side of me you might disapprove of."

Joel's brows shot up in a cocky expression. "And here we were all thinking you were such a nice girl. Forget 'bout me, sweetheart. Your old man would drop dead if he gets the news."

You can't hold back the smirk that spreads across your face as you look him dead in the eye. Truth be told, you had wished for him to change, in any sort of way. Maybe if he had gotten a couple more wrinkles or grey hairs you'd be able to not find him attractive anymore. But age suited Joel. Maybe if he stopped being so warm to you, so kind, it might be able to fade away.

'Righteous', you'd called him.

But he isn't so much. No man ever is.

In your last visit you weren't bold enough with him, but each time you'd say something slightly suspicious, every occasional brush or brief skin to skin contact during a shared moment, had an effect on him. He reacted to you, even if he thought you wouldn't know. Sure, he was well restrained and you probably wouldn't have noticed if you weren't actually looking for any signs. That didn’t change the facts, anyway.

"I've never really been much of a nice girl, to be honest," you retaliate, dragging the words. "But I bet you can keep a secret, can't you?"

Something in your voice causes him to unconsciously stop breathing. His brows knit together and it takes him a second to regain composure. However, he doesn't get to say a thing, your dad's voice suddenly floating from the floor beneath.

With your blood rushing, you practically flee downstairs, seeing his face change completely at the sight of his beloved daughter.

"You're here early, what the heck?" The man mumbles with a kindhearted smile, embracing you in a tight hug.

"Figured I might surprise you." The boxes of beer he bought were quickly discarded when he saw you. "So, are you surprised?"

"Very. But I was supposed to pick you up at the airport. Did you take a cab?"

"Don't worry about that," you reassure with a gesture. "It was included in the airport bill."

"Oh, man..." your dad turns to see his friend, "you leavin' already?"

"I have to pick up Sarah," he explains, peeking at his watch. "She had soccer practice today."

"Can I expect to see her later, too?"

Joel nods at your question, faintly beaming. "F'course. She loves you."

⩇⩇:⩇⩇✧˖°

Shortly after Miller's departure your dad sent you off to bed, arguing that you were probably tired. And even if you wanted to stay and chat with him for a while, you had to admit he wasn't mistaken. Either way, you still had the rest of the day —and plenty more ahead— to do that. Besides, he still needed to sort some things out before the party.

So, without unpacking or undoing your bed, you slept for hours, dreaming about how your new life was going to be.

(...)

When you finally woke up, night had already fallen. Your dad mustn't have wanted to wake you, but it made you feel in a rush to get ready. You took a cold shower and kept your makeup neutral in order to be quick. Furthermore, Sophie's advice to wear something low-cut was taken under consideration.

Judging by the noise coming from the backyard, you guessed the guests had already started to arrive. You heard talking and music, aside from smelling the hamburgers your dad was preparing. There were kids running around and a couple of people chatting in the living room when you entered, setting all eyes on you.

You knew most of them, neighbors and friends of your dad's. They immediately monopolized your attention, asking questions regarding your career life, reasons why you chose your major and saying how much your dad loved and missed you. It wasn't bad, you liked the courtesy and praise; nonetheless, in the back of your mind you were solely expecting the Millers' arrival.

After a while, you excuse yourself and decide to join your dad outside, stepping onto the fresh air.

"How's everything here?" you ask friendly. "Need any help?"

He was surrounded by some other of his pals, all of whom you'd met in your last visit, except for one– still, you couldn't help but think that he had a familiar air.

"We're alright, honey." You greet them all with a smile as your dad hooks an arm over your shoulders, offering a beer that you decided to decline.

"My niece was right," said the man you didn't know. "You're quite beautiful." He spoke subtly and on the right lines, giving you a affectionate smile. 

"Ah- I don't believe you've met Tommy," your dad chimed in. "He's Joel's younger brother."

"Oh, yeah..." you remembered, "he mentioned you last time I came. It's nice to finally meet you."

Now that you saw him up-close, he did resemble his brother in a certain way. There was something very emblematic that all the Millers had, a sparkle in their eyes that you picked-up on Sarah, but that enchanted you in—

"Speak of the devil..." your head jerked to the side, watching as your most expected guests come to join you.

"My goodness!" you speak in surprise, sharing a hug with Joel's daughter. "You've grown so much in the last two years... You're even taller than me now and I'm wearing heels." The girl giggles, charming as always. "Didn't you just turn seventeen?"

"A month ago," she answers. "But let's not talk about that, it makes dad feel old."

"Joel?" You look behind her, locking glances with him. "But he's in his prime!" he rolls his eyes sardonically.

"Come on, sunshine," Tommy says, "you know it's not polite to make fun of the elderly."

They laugh and you can vaguely hear your dad scolding him, but don't really pay attention to it as they go back to their conversation. In the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of his smile.

He looked handsome. To you, he always did. Tonight, however, he decided to change the flannels for an olive button up shirt and a black leather jacket. His curls seemed carefully styled and he smelled of sandalwood.

"By the way," you address Sarah, "I brought you something from New York. It's one of my designs..."

"Seriously?" Her whole face lit up at your words. "You know how much I love your work!"

"Yeah, thought you might like it. But I'll give it tomorrow. I haven't unpacked and my things are real a mess."

"That reminds me." The girl turns to Joel. "Did you bring it?" he nods and takes a small box from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to her.

"What's that?" you question out of curiosity.

"I got you a lil' present," Sarah answered.

"You, did what?" Joel countered with a reproachful tone.

"I mean- I chose a present..." the man clears his throat and she rolls her eyes. "We chose a present, which he payed for. Buuut, it was my idea so-"

His dad snorts and shakes his head, turning to chat with the rest of the men. The younger one drags you away to have some privacy, taking a solitary spot under the big apple tree. During your conversation, you discuss the details of your so called 'highlife' and open the tiny box they gifted, finding a shiny ring sitting on the bottom.

"Do you like it?" You grin and nod in response, deciding to put it on in that same instant. "Dad noticed you like wearing lots of rings.”

Joel noticed.

"I love it," you remark. "Thank you. Both."

Your eyes drift to the crowd gathered around the grill, men laughing and sharing beers. The surprising part was that when you finally found your target, he was already staring at you. If he was expecting you to notice or not, there was no sign. But the older one held your lingering glance and everything else seemed to fade away, suddenly becoming white noise in the background. There was a challenging fire behind his brown orbs, kind of like he was saying 'I know what you're doing and I can do it too'.

"So," you turn back to Sarah with a strange, thrilling sensation in the pit of your stomach, "what's up with you? How's high school?"

"Boring. You know the drill."

"And the boys?" she almost looks flustered at the question.

"Complicated. Bet you know all ‘bout that." Your brows furrow slightly.

"What gave you that idea?"

"Just an impression," her fingers fidget nervously.

You shrug, deciding to change the subject. "You're graduating soon... Have you decided on any universities yet?"

"Not quite," she sighs. "I'm worried about my dad, really. I don't want him to feel alone if I move out."

A sly smile parts your lips. "He won't be. There's my dad, your uncle and... Me. I'll make him a Tinder profile. He'll be fine."

Sarah chuckles and shakes her head. "He talks about you, y'know?"

"What, Joel?" you ask in a sarcastic tone, cocking an eyebrow at her. "Hard to believe."

"It's true! I think he admires you, in a way..."

With a hand gesture, you stop her. "Are we talking about the same man here?"

"Ask him. He might deny it, but it's often your name is brought up in conversations," she unfolds. "When you got that internship in Ralph Lauren, the articles you've written, magazines you've appeared in..."

"It sounds extremely rare for someone like your dad would be interested in the fashion industry. Even if it's just for me, cause I'm certain my own dad is the one forcing all this information onto him."

"Maybe," Sarah agrees. "Whatever it may be, I'm sure he'll be alright if you're around. At least happy, I think."

⩇⩇:⩇⩇✧˖°

The kitchen was a good shelter from all the gossip and noisy kids that turned out to be overwhelming after some time. No one came in there unless they needed to; and as of now they all seemed more concerned with other sorts of business. Besides, it was pretty late and most people had already headed home.

A bottle of wine was opened and poured into a glass, accompanied by a Marlboro cigarette from the depths of your purse, enjoying them while watching the night sky through the window. All your mind could think about was him and his odd behavior: Joel picking up on details, Joel talking about you with Sarah. Him. Just him.

"Am I interrupting somethin'?" you shake your head without looking back, recognizing his voice.

He walks over to you silently. The man is somehow very silent for someone so big, to the point where you didn't even listen when he opened the door. He leans against the counter, his body so close to yours that you can feel his warmth even if you're not seeing him.

"Want some?" you ask, raising your half-empty glass of red liquid and whipping your body to face him, standing shoulder to shoulder, closing the curtain in the meantime.

"Thanks," he mutters, showing his can of beer, “m'not that fancy." You titter, taking a short drag from the dart. "I'll have one of those, if you can spare."

With the fag between your teeth, you take the pack of smokes from your bag and hand it to him, shooting an inquiry expression.

"What?" he asks with an arrogant beam.

"Nothing..." your voice comes out weird from holding back laughter as you take the lighter in your fist. "I just didn't know you smoke."

He takes one to his lips, keeping close eye contact with you all the while. The action sends a rush of excitement throughout your whole body as you duck forward to burn the unlit end, staring back at him with hooded eyes.

"I rarely do," he admits, setting the package aside.

If he wasn't hot enough already, the practiced mannerisms he had when smoking simply added to his sultriness.

"Why you hiding?" you wonder, ashing the cigarette over the sink.

"Not hidin'. Just sent Sarah home, but I wanted to catch you before leavin'."

It didn't surprise you, they lived across the street and, after all, he did say he wanted to talk.

"Did I mention how handsome you look today?" He sneers shortly.

"Well, my daughter was very clear 'bout not wanting me to wear flannels around a fashion designer." Joel takes a sip from his drink, holding the cig between his fingers.

"She gives me too much credit," you say, a bit embarrassed.

"You deserve it," the man replies grimly. "And you look absolutely beautiful, too. One of yours?"

His eyes briefly set on your chest, for such a short second that you actually believed you had probably imagined it. The dress you chose for the occasion was one of your first designs; pearl colored, cinched from the waist above and slightly loose over your thighs.

"Yes," you gulp, diverting your gaze to the glass on your hand. "So how's everything 'round here?" Joel shrugs his shoulders with indifference. 

"'S alright. Same as always," he meditates on it. "Boring without you to keep us entertained."

You utter a mocking snort. "Do my silly little experiences really entertain you?"

The older one tilts his head to blow some smoke. "You always talk so freely about your dreams and the goals you've accomplished. And your dad's enthusiasm is contagious, I might say." He licks his bottom lip, thinking. "I don't know... I'm glad someone close is doing all 'at. Feels like you ain't afraid of anything."

His words put a bright smile on your face. "Life's a risk, isn't it? Better be bold if you want to end up somewhere."

He huffs a laugh, nodding in agreement. A comfortable silence veils between you as you enjoy the alcohol and cigarettes. It was always nice to hang out with him like this.

"By the way, how are you holding up?" the question clasps his curiosity. "Parenting a teenager can be quite difficult, I've heard."

"Jesus," he grunts, "it's driving me insane. Not her per say, but the whole 'boy talk' 's just too much."

"I bet," you chortle, "although, I wouldn't worry too much. It's just a phase." 

"Yeah?" Joel scoffs. "You gon' tell me you ain't got tons of guys chasing around ya' anymore?"

"Oh, they're there," your tone matches his energy. "All these old ladies kept trying to introduce me to their sons a couple hours ago. Nevertheless, I gotta say..." He leaves the empty can on the bar across him. "Boys make me sick."

His eyes widen in surprise, but the rest of his face remained in composure. "How so?"

The atmosphere swiftly changes, a kind of heated tension rising to the top, palpable in your fingertips and waving in his chest.

"I've had my fair share of them," you explain playfully. "Guys my age never know what they want or what they're doing. I've decided to change my focus to men, instead."

He knows what you're up to. You can tell he does.

The question is: will he take the bait?

"Meaning?" Joel's lips curve around the orange filter in a smug smirk. You jerk your head to the right, setting the glass of wine aside.

"I'm not sure..." he laughs dryly at your hesitation.

"I think you are, sweetheart."

The abiding silence that followed that statement was nothing but electrifying. Clouds of burning tobacco linger around as you share an intense gaze, creating a solemn, intriguing ambience.

"Well, how am I supposed to tell you, out of all people, that I'm looking to get attended by an older man?" you rag. "Don't you think it's inappropriate?"

"Mhm," his grin is still visible under the dim, warm lights in the kitchen, "clever girl. I see what you're tryin' to do."

"I don't know what you mean," you murmur, scowling and intending to sound clueless.

He doesn't buy it.

"No-uh. You're many things, darlin', but dumb isn't one." He leans forward, his face barely inches away from yours, eyes scanning your features. Eventually, he decides to keep playing your little game. "Why's that, anyway?"

"See, Joel," you blow some smoke right under his nose, "boys I've been with always take. Everything's gotta be about themselves. I've never been the type to believe in relationships, but if they're gonna suck at that too, the least they could do is make you come, not leave you drier than a fucking desert." Your words daze his mind and he finds himself pending for something that he wasn't supposed to. "Shit- I'm sorry... I shouldn't talk like this."

"Damn right you shouldn't," he rasps out, "what would your dad think if he heard you?"

Joel Miller never considered himself a weak man. Not once in his life. It's not who he is.

But right now, under your curious, passionate gape, he's slowly crumbling.

"Good thing you aren't my dad, then."

His heart is pounding in expectation and confusion. He keeps thinking 'this can't be happening'. He tries to convince himself that it's all in his mind, like he did last time you were in Austin. But you bat your pretty eyelashes at him an it feels like you're begging to be taken away.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you know what you're asking for," he talks strictly, like you wouldn't actually understand. "Say this things to the wrong person and they might take advantage of you."

You laugh under your breath. "Are you the wrong person?"

He remains silent for a couple seconds, contemplating your question, meditating this whole parade in order to keep his head cold and ignoring the increasing heat that soared all around.

"M'not sure," he huffs.

It's true. He doesn't know anymore.

Your cig has burned out.

"I think you are, Mr. Miller."

Oh, such a clever girl indeed.

Suspense is killing him, like he's walking on the edge of a blade. Your closeness is intoxicating, the smell of your perfume gets him dizzy and his skin burned there where your limbs brushed against each other's. His lungs felt like crushing under the weight of anticipation.

"Quit beating around the bush," he downright demands. "Tell me what you want."

Honesty is a virtue; one you didn't lack with him.

"You," his chest puffs with a shaky breath. "Ever since we first met, you've been the only man in my mind."

Dangerous. This whole situation is dangerous.

But Joel would be lying if he said he didn't feel the same. That was the worst part of it.

For little more than a decade he had been perfectly content with his singleness; the sole thought of going on a date being absolutely terrifying. His best friend did try to set him up with a couple of his female acquaintances multiple times; yet he declined or merely accepted out of sympathy, never taking things further than a one night stand. Joel never expected that the one woman that would grasp his attention would be you.

He had never been into younger girls, at least not that young. But there was something enchanting about you. Whether it was your charming smile, your cunning eyes or your confident, determined nature that made all heads turn in your direction when you walked into a place.

Something about you bewitched him.

Perhaps it was none of that and he was simply depraved. Perhaps it was all of that and more.

For all he knew, you could've put a spell on him. Since your last visit, you had been on his mind like a mist that fogged his senses. He felt torn apart by his morals and desires, trying his best to get rid of the ghost of you.

That was until your dad told him you were coming back to stay for an undefined amount of time. What kind of sick game was fate playing with him?

"You tryin' to get me killed?" he locks a snarl behind his teeth.

His cigarette has burned out too.

"I know I'm asking for much," you say, "that I put you in a difficult position. With my dad and all 'at." Swallowing hard, you muster enough courage to raise a hand to his jacket, just laying your palm flat there. He allows it. "So I understand if you say no. You can decline and we’ll just act like nothing happened."

If Joel were a better man, he would've.

He definitely should have.

"It's okay. I can always call the next older lad on my hotline," you joke. "Your brother Tommy... I think he'll be interested."

He'd be damned.

No. Joel was just a man, and like every other, he could only take so much.

Quicker than you'd expect, his hand catches your wrist and moves your arm away from his body, the other raising your head up with two fingers under your chin. His face is so close to yours that his breath tickles your skin.

"Is that so?" his voice drops an octave. "You disappoint me, sweetheart."

Your legs quiver, feeling suddenly weak on the knees and hot on your lower abdomen. "How?"

His thumb sweeps over your bottom lip, staring down at you as if he had you wrapped around his finger. Truth be told, he really did.

"Thought there was a bit more fight in ya'," he whispers, letting go of your hand and laying his palm flat on your hip. "I haven't yet given my answer and you're already thinking of fucking my brother?"

You lick your lips nervously, glancing at his own and then back at his eyes. Your breathing pattern is completely altered and the ache between your legs starts to grow.

"Or was that just to tease me?" he asks with a grin.

"I don't know..." your hands clench in fists, wanting to touch him but wallowing in this new power dynamic. "Maybe."

"That's rather vague, darling." He takes a step forward, eradicating the distance that separated your bodies. "I'll ask again..." his fingers curl around your throat, not applying pressure but merely holding you in place. "What do you want?"

It's too late to look back now. Though you wouldn't think of it. "I want you to fuck me, Joel."

Music to his ears.

He doesn't respond, eyes boring into yours intently. The unholy words that you spoke scatter his brain and all he wants to do is accept. But he wouldn't indulge so easily. If you wanted to play games, he'd teach you how to play better.

You tilt your head upwards, searching for his mouth with limited mobility. Your eyes briefly close at the feeling of your lips barely brushing against his own, waiting for him to kiss you. Except he does not, simply caressing the soft flesh teasingly.

Joel's body is flushed against yours, keeping you caged between the counter and him. The hand that rested on your hip gradually travels to your ass, splaying his fingers over your covered butt and giving a firm squeeze that makes you squeal. Every breath he takes is the very air you breathe. The proximity and his scent are slowly —but surely— making you lose your sanity.

"Such a pretty girl," he mutters hoarsely, "with such filthy thoughts." You look at him through heavy lids, gaining enough courage to move your hands to his broad chest. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Please, just- kiss me." The plea is so desperate and pathetic that it doesn't even sound like you.

"Can't do," he says at last. "If you want to be treated like a slut, you'll get treated like one. Sluts don't get kissed." You feel yourself get wet with his attitude, trying to clench your thighs together in order to create some friction. "I can't give you what you want, sweetheart. Not tonight, at least."

His lips move to your jawline, tracing open-mouthed kisses along your bare neck and collarbones that have you panting in seconds, his facial hair scratching your skin deliciously before coming back up again.

"But don't worry, angel," he pours into the shell of your ear, "I'll make sure you cum, since you want it so bad."

"Fuck, Joel-" you stutter when he abruptly spins your body around, his growing bulge grinding against your lower back.

His face nuzzles on the crook of your neck as his hand roams over your thigh, leisurely making its way beneath your dress. You feel his teeth lightly scraping your flesh, the hardness of his crotch poking your ass and your own arousal pooling in your panties.

"Jesus..." he groans when his fingers reach the dampness between your legs. "I've barely touched you and you're already soaked."

"I meant it when-" your sentence gets muffled by a strangled moan that escapes your lips, "when I said I've been wanting you for so long."

His body vibrates with a laugh, ruffling your hair with his breath. He starts rubbing small circles on your clit, making your whole body shiver and squirm while he pushes the fabric aside, gathering your slick with his index and spreading it all the way back to your bud, repeating his actions until your arousal covered his knuckles.

"Wanna know a lil' secret?" his voice comes out soothing and husky as he eases two digits inside you, stretching you out in a way that makes both of you groan. "I felt the same."

His fingers are thicker, bigger and rougher than yours, adding to a new, unlocked satisfaction you had not yet experienced.

Joel took his time to explore the spots that provided more pleasure, that had your hips chasing him and biting your lip to refrain from making noise. His other hand gropes your breast, caressing your delicate nipple over the thin fabric, easily done due to the lack of a bra. He keeps altering his ministrations, collecting the wetness from your core and bringing it up to your bundle of nerves, prior to sliding into your cunt again. All that can be heard in the kitchen are the squelching, utterly pornographic sounds of your pussy and your pitiful whines, inaudible to everyone but him.

"You like this, sweetheart?" he hums, feeling your sticky arousal drip down your thighs, rejoicing in your responsiveness to him. "Being fingered by a man twice your age while your dad's just a few steps away?"

You squeeze his thick fingers, picturing just how big his cock must be just from the boner pressing your back. "Y-yes..."

He simply loves the way he's got you so needy, coming undone with so little. You were easy to please, so he wondered how awful your past lovers must've been if they couldn't get you wet. A primal instinct surges on Joel, wanting to erase all of them from your mind, as he wanted to be the only man you ever think about if you're having an orgasm.

"That's my girl," he coos, thrusting his fingers at a nice pace, curling them upwards to hit that soft spot that made your knees tremble.

You hold onto the counter for dear life, throwing your head back and laying it on his chest. He sighs every time your cunt tightens around his digits, mesmerized by your enticing cries and whimpers that had him painfully hard in his jeans. The sensation is overwhelming, adrenaline filling both of you at the prospect of getting caught.

A burning sensation builds on your lower belly, tiny beads of sweat rolling down your temple at the incoming crescendo. His thumb kneads over your clit with the right amount of pressure and your body gives in to him, all tension melting away as your muscles relax.

"Just like that, darling." His deep voice reverberates through you, holding you up by the grip on your waist. "Take what I give you."

"Joel, Joel, Joel-" he chuckles once again at your delirious state, biting down the sensitive skin on your neck as he helps you carry out your high.

He pulls his fingers out and you mewl in complaint, mouth slightly agape. You can't see his face but you watch as he takes both his sticky fingers to his mouth, your chest rising and falling while trying to regain composure. He licks them clean, savoring your sweet taste and feeling his cock twitch from the mere idea of his tongue exploring your folds, taking that same flavor straight from the source.

"I'm not done with you," he growls, swirling your body around.

He's fucked up now. He has found his own, favorite drug between your thighs and can’t seem to stop himself from getting it. He had a small taste and now craved for more like he was a famished man.

"Can I get a kiss now?" Joel finds your insistence amusing.

Those eyes of yours were driving him insane, staring at him wildly, sparkling with an etching desire. Your lips were plumped and glossy, cheeks flushed red and hands fisting his shirt. Seeing this side of you was like displaying one of his darkest fantasies, the kind that would randomly appear in his dreams and had him waking up guilty and needy.

"No," he grumbles, cupping your face in his hand and forcing you to glance up at him. "Open up."

You obligue without hesitation, parting your lips shamelessly— which further spurs him on—. Almost instinctively, you already know what he's going to do, catching that inquiring look in his darkened eyes. With a light tap to his chest, you give him the green light and he spits right into your mouth. You don't think about it twice; in fact, you can't even process what you're actually doing, unconsciously swallowing down while keeping eye contact.

"Good girl," he purrs, caressing the side of your face with gentle stokes of his thumb.

His voice and praise send you to oblivion, managing to give you goosebumps. But Joel won't allow you to catch a break, glueing his lips to the hollow of your throat and making his way down, down, down, until he's kneeling before you, feeling the way you tense and shake for him. He grips your body strongly, the pads of his thumbs dipping on your hipbones as he rests his forehead on your lower abdomen, taking a deep breath in. Your hands run through his curls, tenderly grazing his scalp with your nails. 

The man feels as if he's wasted; your scent, all around him, on him, intoxicating every fiber on his body. He'd be haunted by it, by you, in the upcoming days.

He reaches beneath the hem of your dress, fingers skating along the band of your panties and tugging them down at a tortuous pace, meanwhile his eyes pierce your soul. Joel lets the drenched underwear pool at your ankles and drags the thin, satiny fabric all the way up to your tummy, inhaling sharply at the sight of your sticky slick covering your inner thighs.

"Fuck..." he touches you like you're sacred, like he was granted permission to do so but couldn't fully believe it. "Jesus Christ, you're beautiful," he mumbles when he coaxes your legs apart.

You blush at the comment, growing partially embarrassed. A shadow of pure lust covers his gaze as he stares at your exposed, wet cunt. He basks in the view of your damp skin and swollen clit, feeling his mouth water and his pants strain.

"Joel-"

"Forgive me, darlin'. Been a while since I..." he clears his throat, trying to regain hold of himself, "since I went down on a woman."

Your fingers tangle on his locks and you give him a reassuring smile. "You don't have to-"

"But I want to," Joel blurts out. "I need to taste you, sweetheart. Would you allow me to?"

Did he even need to ask?

"Yes- god. Please..."

It's all he had to hear. He leaves small kisses on your swollen lips, taking pleasure in your silent gasps as his mouth inched closer to your clit. Your hips buck against his face when his tongue finally landed on that sensitive bundle of nerves, making you moan a bit louder.

"Fucking hell," you babble, gripping his hair tighter.

He groans, his tongue flattening above your delicate bud and sucking on it. Joel can see in your face how hard you're trying to refrain from making any noise, your brows slightly furrowed and mouth partially open as you throw your head back. His chest swells with pride, knowing he's the one making you feel this good.

Then you have to hold yourself up when he suddenly hooks one hand around your calf and lifts your leg, placing it over his shoulder to keep you open for him. His face buries between your thighs, tongue sliding across your wet folds and savoring your arousal mixed with your previous release. He uninhibitedly whimpers, lapping up the slick that kept pouring out of you, devouring your pussy like he had never had anything as good.

The man can't take it anymore, he's reached his limit. One of his hands snake down to fumble at his belt, as he sloppily palms his bulge through the briefs, trying to get some relief. He's drunk, feral, when he eats you out most earnestly, finding your weak spots rather quickly— the ones that made you shiver, that made you shut your eyes from sheer pleasure or grind against his face, but specially the ones that had you tugging harshly at his hair.

"Joel- please, I'm so close..." you cry out lowly, the only thing that kept you standing being his hand on your waist.

His beard makes your skin feel feverish and it's nearly impossible for you to hold back a whine when his nose grazes your clit and right in that instant you're coming hard, nerves buzzing and ears ringing. You feel lightheaded, white spots appearing in front of your eyes as the orgasm rips through you intensely. He drinks you down, licking you clean as if it was a crime not to, and you gasp at the overstimulation.

He helps you steady yourself as he gets back on his feet, hovering above you. His lips were shining with saliva and your own juices, dripping down to his chin. You breathe rapidly, pulse still racing while you look up at him with glassy eyes.

It's right in this moment when Joel knows for certain that he'd do it all again, consequences be damned.

If he was going to hell for what he'd done, then he would gladly do it, knowing that he had seen heaven the moment his tongue was inside you.

"Did I live up to your expectations, sweetheart?"

Instead of replying, your hand shoots to his jaw, the pad of your thumb brushing over his bottom lip. He lets out a shaky exhale and you don't miss the opportunity to finally lean in for a kiss. And despite his previous declines to your wish, Joel happily corresponded. You taste him and yourself when his mouth explores yours in depth, feeling his unsteady heartbeat against your own chest.

It's madness; a blur of wet, messy kisses as your hand coasts down his pants and underneath his briefs. You swallow down his lewd moans when you grasp his throbbing length, a deep groan coming from his throat when you circle the tip with one finger, coating it with his leaking precome. He takes your wrist to prevent you from going any further.

"Enough of that," he grunts, still not pushing your hand away. "I'm too worked up, I don't wanna be coming in my pants like a goddamned teenager."

You respect his decision, drawing your hand back and guiding your fingers to your lips with a cheeky smile. Fucking tease.

"I think it'd be hot," you murmur, dragging the words and leaning next to his ear. "Maybe afterwards I can help you clean up the mess..." you carefully nip at his earlobe, delighting in the way his body jumped and a sigh escaped him. "With my mou-"

"Fuuuck..." the mental image you were describing was not helping his situation. "We- we’ll do that next time.”

And before you can move a muscle, he gives you a soft forehead kiss and rearranges his pants, asking you to say goodbye to your dad in his behalf as he sneaked out. You stand there for a couple of minutes, dumbfounded and completely blown away from your post-orgasm bliss, still processing that all this had actually happened and it was not just another of your sexual fantasies and daydreams.

Joel was in a similar position. In spite of taking a cold shower and fucking his fist in the meantime, tonight's events kept being relived every time he closed his eyes, making him yearn for you all over again. It was a tough night of not much sleeping.

He thinks he might feel guilty in the morning.

Maybe he should. But he honestly doesn't.

Not even when he faces your dad the next day and he tells him how happy he is to have his darling daughter back home.

Nor do you. There's not a hint of guilt in your body when you go to his house in the next few days, solely to spend time with Sarah. No shame in the looks you share, regardless of the little to zero time you could spend together, always being surrounded by other people.

None of that mattered. All the while, the only question that roams your minds is: when will you do it again?

[dreamcast641]

RAINBOW SIX OC: Lilja Järvinen

there it is a bit with lilja's bio that for sure it will not be completed fully as I want to make a sort of bio like r6s operators in future plus she doesnt have a reference draw for her yet so...I'll reblog if any change is made :D --------------------------------- GENERAL INFOS

Full name: Lilja Järvinen

aliases/nicknames: One of the first thing that Harry did as soon as she joined the rainbow six is to think about how to refer to her and ''hound'' was what came into his mind immediately. Later then Lilja decided to just translate it into her native language, becoming it ''koira''but she likes the hound one as well

Age: around 30-35 years old

Gender: cis Female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexual orientation: Unknown, probably bisexual

Date of birth: April 30th

Place of birth: Kemijärvi, Laplan, finland

Current residence: Unknown

Nationality: finnish

Spoken languages: Finnish(main), Swedish(second one learned) and english

Affiliations/organizations: Rainbow six, utti jager regiment, finnish army

Occupation: K-9 operative with certification got with training and working with police and army dogs and robotic engineer with a egree in automation engineering, computer engineering

Rank: Unknown

(temporary reference)

APPEARANCE

By the national average, Lilja is a rather short woman who stands at around 166 cm tall. She is slim and athletic, with messy blonde hair, freckles scattered across her cheeks and nose, and eyes with partial heterochromia on both irises that are both blue and brown in color, which are easily distinguishable between the two. She is the one who usually wears heavy, long clothes that are uncomfortable when it comes to grabbing objects and that hide her body well. She wears glasses because she is astigmatic, which she removes to use contact lenses when she has to work in the field. more facts about her aspect: -Lilja has a lot of bite wounds on her body, done of course by the dogs she worked in the past with most of them being reactive ones that easily snapped when something even small bothered them. The most visible one is on her left cheek that resembles a two cut done by a feline instead of a dog and people usually asks her how could a dog do such damage; -She always wanted a tattoo on her left cheek that resembled a dog jaw but changed her mind when she wasn't allowed to do so in the army. -She doesn't hide her body due to insecurity, in fact, she also can wear swimming costumes and bikinis, she just prefers baggy clothes over normal ones.

Favorites and personality traits

-Color: Mint green

-Food: Lihapullat (finnish meatballs)

-Drink: Hot chocolate

-Song: Killer by Mareux

-Flower: Lilly of the valley

-Hairstyle: wolfcut Moral alignment: Chaotic good MBTI: INTP Personality overview:

Lilja is a reserved woman by nature, she doesn't like to talk to people too much and generally prefers to be alone. Sometimes she seems detached and lost in her thoughts, it almost seems like her brain is constantly working, constantly creating new thoughts. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as she always has new ideas that she can implement in the form of robotic objects useful to her team. She seems to prefer small speeches to long, deep ones, which is often not in good taste with other operators and those in command, but she often ignore the thoughts of others. This doesn't mean she's a totally insensitive person, she just doesn't know how to relate to people without seeming weird, which leads her to avoid social situations most of the time.

BASIC INFOS AS RAINBOW SIX OPERATOR:

Name: Lilja ''hound/koira''Järvinen Side: defender Squad: Nighthaven (she probably joined them because they were more willing to fund her projects) Speciality: Anti-gadget, Intel and trapper Unity: Utti jaeger regiment support battalion/support company-trains conscripts in support tasks and handles logistics in cooperation with the Logistics Centre.

OPERATOR ICON:

BASIC LOADOUT

Primary weapons: -Assault rifle, RK 95

-9.00 submachine gun 2000

-pump-action shotgun remington police

Secondary weapon:

-Pistol 80/Pistol 80-91

Gadgets

-Smoke grenade -Frag grenade -Claymore

LOADOUT PART 2: Unique ability:

''K-9 puppies'' Highly intelligent robotic dogs with different speciality based on the selected one. They can be used as attack weapons, anti gadget, trapper or intel. They are all comanded by a tablet which makes you vulnerable to the attackers that can sneak and kill you. The robotic dogs are not vulnerable to bulletts or explosives. BIOGRAPHY

COMING SOON PSYCHOLOGICAL REPORT: COMING SOON

[ghostdoodlen]

Quite a Strudel.

So I had an idea. I have never seen "How to Marry a Millionaire", but I found this scene and I love it.

I got to thinking, what if it was replaced with Gotham riddler?

Wrote this for the people who might have insecurities about glasses. I've had glasses for years but always have been insecure, especially since I'm one of the only few in my family to have them. Didn't have much courage till a year or two ago.

This is basically an unpolished and random thing I did. I watched only a bit of Gotham, so sorry if I'm not accurate.

You're sitting on a bus as the vehicle makes yet another stop at a stop. You had just ended a grueling shift and have been dying to get home. Away from the blurry sight of the world to the sanctuary of your quiet living room, where you know a fresh cup of your favorite drink awaits you.

In the meantime, while you wait to arrive at your destination, you pull out a book, delicately remove the bookmark, and begin to read the chapter you had left on.

It's a minute later that you barely register a tall fellow situating himself next to you from the corner of the eye. You don't mind him and continue with your reading.

It isn't till you hear him make a small noise that catches your attention when you turn to look at him.

"Look, didn't you bring your glasses?" The man towards you.

You blink at him. Who is this?

"What glasses?" You reply, but inside you were panicking. You hoped you haven't given yourself away somehow.

"Don't you wear glasses?", His voice questions, lingering with curiosity, but you simply ignore it in favor of continuing denying his question.

"Oh, no! What ever gives you that idea?"

"Then you got some peculiar vision."

It's quite strange of him to say and decide to voice your inner thoughts, "Why do you say that?"

He gestures to your book, "You're reading upside down."

Oh.

Well that's awkward.

"It's silly, isn't it?" You feel a small wave of embarrassment flooded you. You closed the book and placed it on your lap.

"Is it astigmatism?"

You just shake your head, "No, just blind as a bat."

"Me too!" You feel him perk up as the row you sit slightly makes a squeal at the stranger's movement. What an odd thing to be excited about. Nevertheless, your lips twitch upward.

"Really? Then why aren't you wearing glasses?" It's a simple jab, but it's the only thing you can think to say.

"I am wearing glasses," his tone now full of amusement as you squint and inch towards his face, practically noses touching.

From here you can see a small bit of red dyed against his pale face and eyes widened from behind those specs he indeed had. You shoot straight back and hum.

"Well, there you are."

The stranger darts his eyes and clears his throat.

"I used to be like that. Walking into fire hydrants and shaking hands with lamp posts, tripping over everything... All because I didn't want to be called 'four-eyes'. Then something happened to me."

You leaned in once more as if you were about to be told the answer to the greatest problem of the century. "What was that?"

"One day, I started giving out riddles."

You deflate a bit and let out a small puff of air before it dissolves into small laughter and hear quiet chuckles from your seat companion to match yours.

"But it's different with girls," you somber the mood a bit.

"How so?"

"You know what they say about girls who wear glasses," you shrug, but you can see how the man didn't quite understand your comment.

"What are you talking about?"

"Men aren't very attentive to girls who wear glasses."

"Did you ever try it? Did you bring them with you?"

You can faintly see his eyebrows raise and head tilt to the side in question. That's cute.

"Yes," you said nodding your head.

"Why don't you put them on and find out?" The man motions to your bag. Even with your bad sight, you can see his huge smile as he waits in anticipation.

"With you?" You can help, but blurt out. Looking at him in surprise.

"Why not?" It's his turn to shug, his shoulders almost touches his ears.

"Well..." Digging in your bag, you find your case and quickly grab your glasses and gaze at him, making eye contact once more. Are you really gonna do this?

As if he can sense your hesitation, he quickly says "If you're worried about me, I already think you're quite a strudel."

It takes a moment for it to register what he just called you before you feel a heat crawl up from your neck to your now rosy cheeks.

Did he just call you a snack??

You gotta admit, you've never heard a compliment like that. There was a certain charm to it and you can hear the sincerity behind those words.

"Honestly?" Even if he was sincere, you can't help but fiddle with your glasses and asking as if to reaffirm his words.

"I've thought so from the first minute I saw you."

Hearing those words made you feel giddy and light. It gave you courage as you stared at your glasses before unfolding them. "Well, if you really think so."

Making haste, you plucked them right now and whipped your head at the stranger's reaction to your new look.

It's a shared but brief silence that falls between the two of you. You finally get to see what he looks like in all his glory.

The man is tall yet lanky with short, dark hair neatly parted to the side. His eyes are a lovely shade of brown that are framed with black, half frame glasses that suited him. You admire him a bit more but it swiftly ends just as it began. He opens his mouth and says... "You're crazy."

Your heart drops.

"No?" You meekly answer.

You look better with them."

Utter relief fills you. Did he want to give you a heart attack? It's amazing how up and down your emotions can go in the matter of seconds because of someone you barely know.

"I do?"

"Gives your face a certain mystery." He nods, almost to himself.

"No kidding?" Your voice is in disbelief.

"And a certain kind of distinction." He comments.

"What do you know about that." You're full on smiling. It's as if your muscles in your face can't stop themselves.

"You're very pretty, if you don't mind me saying." He quickly added the last part as if you were to be offended.

"Not at all," you fling back.

"Glasses of that type give your face a very interesting difference."

If this cute stranger doesn't stop, you're very certain you might implode on yourself. You'd think he was the strudel by all the sweetness he was directing towards you.

"I don't look like an old maid?" It was something you heard constantly when you first got your glasses. You didn't mind looking older but it was still hard to hear.

"I've never seen anybody in my life that reminded me less of an old maid."

And... Hook, line, and sinker did you go and fall hard. It felt like you didn't even stand a chance with those charming words and that captivating smile.

"What's your name?" You beamed.

His eyes twinkled. Grabbing your hand, he kissed it. "Edward Nygma. And yours?"

--

When Edward Nygma woke up today, he didn't expect his car to be decided to give him trouble today and take the bus today. However, he wasn't complaining. Especially, not now.

He had seen you sitting down all by yourself. You were mesmerizing. While he would've normally kept his distance and admire from far away, he couldn't help it once he had seen your book.

It was upside down!

He immediately told you and somehow convinced you to wear your glasses. Edward didn't think someone could look more dazzling. He thought he would drive you away, instead you were listening about his car troubles to some trivia, even the latest he's been working on. Eagerly soaking in all his words as he was your addicting attention.

"-That's why I'm hoping to catch Officer Gordon before goes off, so I can give him this new evidence I just discovered."

"Where do you think he is?"

"If I'm lucky, at the precinct. Why are you heading there?"

He sees that your brows furry a bit. "Who's going to precinct?"

"Doesn't this bus go there?" He questions.

"What are you talking about?" He sees your face only growing more confused.

"This is bus 37. We should be arriving at its destination in minutes. Why?" He knows anyway. You obviously had read the bus schedule wrong but asked to see your reaction anyway.

Would you try to get off the bus? Away to your correct location and away from him? The thought made Edward frown. He didn't get your number yet.

"No reason. Just one of those things." You waved your hand and didn't inform him of what he already knew.

Your next words rendered Edward Nygma speechless.

"Go on, tell me more. Tell me anything." You turned to him, legs crossed and face resting on your hands. Your glasses perfectly framed your eyes as if they were a precious jewel in a museum exhibit.

Edward quickly leaned against you, shoulder to shoulder. Picking up from where he left off.

Was it too early to fall in love? Doesn't matter, he'll get that number soon at the very least.

[gaybd1]

hey i just need to make this post so i can link to it as like an about me/faq

just so i can have some info about me that's not like all up in your face bc who cares honestly but also so that dummies can read about who i am before sending "dont post about autism if youre not autistic!!" messages, u feel?

not that i get them a lot but i would def get them a lot LESS if there was a post like this to refer to

okay hi lets see

i am gay

actually im on the ace spectrum if u must know, thank u so much antidepressants ive taken since i was 7 years old...

i am trans (ftm)

speaking of trans i am legally male but am not able to change my name and have not yet transitioned medically in any way despite having socially transitioned almost a decade ago

ive known i was a boy my whole life because thats another question people asked i just got Very Good at repressing it

i am white!

yes i am a whitey who lives in taiwan, that is because i am an immigrant!

i have lived in east asia since 2018 and plan to be in taiwan forever

i AM... originally... from the US.... ughhhh fuckkkk i know righttttt

i do not identify as american lolololol

actually i dont identify with american culture in general because i wasnt there for covid and life kind of carried on as normal over here during covid so there's like this huge cultural divide between me and other americans now

i mean i dont identify as taiwanese either lol bc that would be... wild...

ok anyway

i am autistic

what else have i been diagnosed with lol astigmatism i guess

i have clinical depression and anxiety lol love that for me

i am colorblind

i have fibromyalgia and occasionally use a cane

i have a bunch of other learning disabilities and a bleeding disorder but jesus christ you dont need my whole life story

ive had ARFID my whole life and it gets dangerously bad sometimes and im also recently "recovered" from anorexia lets hope it stays that way

i was raised evangelical christian but now i have Trauma about it

im still spiritual and am somewhat involved in buddhism

i have trauma about family issues like a shitty dad and fucked up siblings and parentification, all that jazz

i am fluent in english and spanish but my mandarin is actually not that good (like enough to get around obviously but i cant read and write like at all)

oh im a teacher and im trying to finish my masters #privilege

idk what else is interesting

i travel a lot ive been to 15 countries

i grew up between the US and guatemala, i lived for a bit in cuba as a student, and I lived a year in china before i came to Taiwan

ok bye have the day u deserve

[nerdygaymormon]

It’s my third decade around this lovely planet. I was raised in Utah, Catholic, gay. I portrayed being straight in high school, gained some scratches and dents and came out after graduating (broken but safe). Now, I am puzzling life. In my mind, playing with the idea of being a father. The typical, going with nature.

Years ago, I asked God for a sign, he replied. And I kept eating, different, versions of the Bible’s, languages, perspectives and enjoying great ancient history. Seeing patterns, rewriting my own philosophies until my belly was pretty full.

I’ve come to learn that being gay is like my ADD, it’s something you’re born with. And life is like my bad astigmatism, but you can refocus to see. But even I burden pain. It’s not that I find Men attractive, it’s that love is involved. I can’t change my dreams. By now I’ve realized that I’m going straight to hell (turning to dust, mormon version). Unless, I manage to live the after life, as the great Egyptians did.. etc.

And i know my options, I can be like a eunuch, not having relationships, sticking with church oh but not being castrated, yet I still burn in hell, aka into dust. I can pretend to be straight, get married, have children and you know the rest. And surrogacy.

So my question, so if someone like me chooses to go against the nature of the church. Surrogacy, rearing and rasing a semi righteous family… then it’s not as bad as burning in hell right ? Dust.

please do not take this offensive, I’m trying to figure out, my own things.

Hello anon,

If I'm understanding, you're writing to say you want to be a dad and you're thinking about the ways this could be done--marry a woman, adopt, or surrogacy.

I think that's a beautiful dream, to want to be a dad.

I also think being a parent is tough if you don't have a partner who can help do all that needs to be done, but there's plenty of single parents out there who show it can be done.

I'm not sure why you think you're going to Hell? Because you're gay? Do you really think that the God who let you be born gay also is going to condemn you for that? I don't get how that makes sense. That's like saying you're going to Hell for your astigmatism.

My view is God loves queer people because God is our Father and because God loves diversity.

————————————————————-

I'm going to share a few links to things I've written about scripture passages, maybe these will provide some hope

The story of Sodom & Gomorrah is often used to justify bigotry and violence against gay people, but maybe this is exactly what the story is warning against.

Consider the story of Jonathan & David, the possibility that this is a same-sex relationship blessed by God has made it a favorite of queer Christians.

God put Ashpenaz & Daniel together, consider that when pondering whether gay people have a 1-way ticket to Hell.

Jesus healed the male lover of the Roman Centurion soldier, what does this indicate about Jesus' views on same-sex love?

Jesus taught that "eunuchs" (which, in context, seems clear he’s speaking of men who don’t have a desire or attraction for women) are not required to marry women

Paul gives an argument which supports gay marriages

Frankly, most Bible verses used against gay people don't hold up when put back in context. And there's certainly many principles taught in the Bible that support encouraging love between two people.

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

Sparrow! I noticed in your image in picrew chain you participated in you had glasses! I also have glasses! Are you long or short sighted? I’m short sighted, can’t see the title of a book held at arms length lol. (yes it’s that bad. And apparently it’s gonna keep getting worse for a while yet so I’m in for a TIME) They’re a pain in the ass sometimes (you’ll know all about raindrop-y lenses and fogged lenses and smudgy lenses etc.) but honestly I love my glasses, they’re like a part of my face (also my eyes look wack without them like why they look so small). I’m curious wether that’s just me or if most people who wear glasses feel like that.

eep yes! I wear glasses ^^ I have an astigmatism, and I'm near sighted. I also am very sensitive to light, and colors are veryy bright for me, so mine transition in the sunlight and uv rays, and have a yellow tint for blue light (which helps with other colors too imo). I absolutely feel the same way- they're just a part of my face! (it's also the only thing that distinguishes my face from young Michael Sheen's besides my bangs lmao) but whenever they're not on my face I try to push up and adjust phantom frames 😭

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi!! Can I please have a Percy Jackson, Demon Slayer and Genshin Impact romantic matchup?? (and forgive me if I make a mistake in the writing, I'm not fluent in english yet♡)

I'm pansexual and genderfluid, that uses all the pronouns.

I'm a brazilian, my house is Slytherin (but I have LOTS of Ravenclaw qualities), my sign is Leo and MBTI is INTJ. I have tan skin, dimples, brown eyes, straight black hair that goes below my waist and bangs. About my body, I think what stands out the most are the really thick thighs and the hands and feet that are really small. I wear glasses (I have astigmatism and myopia, my grade is VERY high); where i live is SO hot but i really like to wear sweats and pants so sometimes it's kind of hard but i think i wear any kind of clothes? I like to experiment with new styles and I really want to dye my hair but I didn't have the opportunity; I'm absolutely addicted to wearing necklaces, bracelets and especially rings, I'm always wearing several.

I have a quiet, observant, sarcastic and motherly personality, although from a distance it seems that I will be rude to you, I will actually be very calm and give you soft smiles. I can get stressed out easily but I don't show anything but glare, and above all I NEVER raise my voice, even in a fight the only thing I'm going to do is keep my voice calm with a firm, authoritative tone. I LOVE protecting and caring for people and listening to them talk about what they like, I always give them my FULLY attention. My love language is 100% touch, I am always touching the people I like and care about. Another thing is that I'm not a submissive person in a relationship, like no, at all and i absolutely hate going into water, like, sea, pools, lake, I don't know how to swim and I panic.

I'm completely in love with all kinds of art, especially dancing (I'm ALWAYS dancing while listening to music, which is pretty much all day long) and drawing/painting (sometimes I end up doing a whole drawing and not even realize it). I love reading and I always have a book with me, physical or digital. I love animals, I have cats, dogs, parrots, turtles and cockatiels, and I would give my life for them all without a second thought. Oh, I also love anything horror related with passion and bake, most of the time I don't even eat, I just bake and give it to people because I love it when they say they like what I made.

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Your english is very good! I hope you like your matchup!

In Percy Jackson, I match you with...

You and Annabeth are so similar! You're both smart, observant, and sarcastic, but you care deeply about those that matter to you.

Understands getting stressed better than most people. She has a lot of responsibilities, both externally and internally enforced, so she can see when you're getting stressed straight away.

A complete hypocrite when it comes to giving advice on how to not get stressed. Annabeth knows a lot of destressing methods, as well as how to prevent stress and she'll do her best to make sure you don't get too stressed.

Meanwhile, her own stress is growing by the day...

If you show her the same care she shows you, she will feel so honoured. She didn't have a great relationship with her family so having someone show her true care means a lot to her.

Annabeth would love reading with you. She's a fan of reading different things and then swapping once you're both finished so you can talk about your favourite parts at the end.

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Despite what you may think, Tanjiro loves your sarcasm! He's a people pleaser through and through so he likes that you often speak his mind about things that he would be too kind to say.

Loves your cooking! He isn't picky about what he likes or doesn't like so anything you give him will be appreciated.

I think Tanjiro would enjoy drawing or painting with you. He's not a master artist but he's not too bad either.

You're his favourite thing to draw or paint so expect him to look at you a lot while you're doing your own thing. He has to make sure he captures your likeness as best as he can.

Loves giving you hugs. I think Tanjiro's love language is also physical touch so he's more than happy to give you all the affection you need, whenever you need it.

Super supportive of you whenever you need to go near water. He'd be more than happy to teach you how to swim or, if water's still not your thing, he's also happy to just sit with you by the water while the others splash around.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

You and Nilou are art buddies! She's a super creative person so you'd get along well in that regard.

She loves dancing with you! It's her main hobby, and the fact that you enjoy dancing as well means a lot to her. She gets to share her favourite thing with her favourite person!

I see Nilou as someone who likes animals as well. Whenever you're out and about and you come across an animal, she's more than happy to stop and say hello to it with you.

Greatly appreciates your calm nature. As a creative person in Sumeru city, she has to deal with a lot of negativity from the people in the Academia. Your caring nature is a nice breath of fresh air.

Would help you dye your hair! However, I think Nilou would go a bit overboard with the dye and make crazy patterns in all different colours. So if you're up for having rainbow hair, she's the person to go to!

[dopaminergicaddictions]

Why does my astigmatism have to be so bad. I mostly wear my glasses for that. The worst part is. My right eye. The one without a script needs one for an astigmatism for sure. I feel like I might need a low prescription in reading and distance in it but it may not be that bad yet idk.

All I know is the lights drive me crazy in that eye. Once I get my new script I'll absolutely be dependant on them. I'm excited to go tonthr eye doctor in March. They won't cover glasses but maybe I can get a pair there and have them measured if they have nice frames cheap. My current pair from them was 26$ but I can't wear them cause they suck to look out of. I think it was 40$ to have anti Glare which was the issue or maybe it was that they are made of plastic.

My insurance only covers one pair every 2 years. The worst part is I love the frames I picked but I can't wear them cause of the way the light reflects on them it makes everything look weird unless I look at it a cetisn way

[alexafaie-asd]

My astigmatism is supposedly corrected by my glasses, but I still get the all lights look like stars thing. Don't even have to be that far away. I'd do something about it & get it checked more thoroughly but at this point I'm used to it & its really pretty. I can't drive as it is so its not really endangering me I don't think.

Oh and the ones here like about crunchy food... I often talk about food which "bites back". Most people don't seem to get it unless its really sharp. But like I avoid crisps like the Kettle Chips brand because they cut me up so bad. Regular crisps I lick all the flavouring off first because by the time I've done that, they've softened up just enough they don't cut the roof of my mouth.

Kiwi used to be something I put in the "bites back" category too due to the tingly mouth feel, but I stopped eating it when the last time I had it, infused in water to help me drink more I started getting breathing difficulties and drinking more kiwi water made it worse. Took an antihistamine tablet, I was fine. Tried it again a few days later (still had some left & I hate waste) & got a repeat of the breathing issues but quicker. So had to move those to the "allergy pile".

Pineapple is still on the "bites back" list but hasn't shifted to allergy pile yet since I know pineapple juice has enzymes which break down proteins in skin, so not surprised it would hurt a bit. Plus I like the slightly spicy taste it has. If I can still breathe after eating it, its fine.

Plus like if I excluded everything which has ever caused me a random small allergic response there wouldn't be anything left to eat. My fruit & veg allergies are numerous and ever shifting. They all respond to an antihistamine tablet though which is lucky because if I needed to use an epipen I'd just die. I can't with needles. I think that given the high possibility that I have some kind of EDS that its one of the common bedfellows of EDS which is MCAS (or could be OAS but I don't get hayfever symptoms outside of mouth reactions). Either way a single loratadine tablet makes it clear up quickly enough.

I wish they taught a class on what being a normal human is like

Like, the normal amount of pain is zero. The normal amount of wishing you weren’t ever born is zero. Food isn’t supposed to itch or hurt*. Going numb (any time outside sitting in one position too long) isn’t normal. Passing out isn’t normal. Normal people take like 10-20 minutes to fall asleep, and sleep like 6-9 hours. You’re supposed to get one period a month, which is manageable with a few tampons or pads a day and lasts 3-6 days.

These are all things I had to find out later, like a moron.

(fibromyalgia, depression, allergies, cataplexy, narcolepsy, PCOS and endometriosis)

*spicy food is supposed to hurt?

[shortguyswag]

I am not disabled.

I'm not. I don't know the feeling of having your own body not work the way you want it to. But.

My knee hurts when I stand up, more than it probably should for a boy of 19. They pop when I bend them after standing for too long, and sure. Maybe that's normal. But it makes me want to add a footnote to that statement. Let's try it again, from the top.

I'm not disabled.*

*yet.

I have a mild form of astigmatism, I think. It's not too bad, I mostly notice it at night. But it makes seeing the road a bit tricky with oncoming headlights. I got it from my mother, bit I didn't know that until she mentioned it over dinner a week after I realized that headlights looking fuzzy probably wasn't normal. Does that count as a disability? It's so easy to avoid, especially when I don't often drive at night. So it doesn't feel like it should.

I get headaches a lot. I power through them most of the time. They're just headaches. But my mom gets migraines a lot, and I worry sometimes. I'm not one to put words in other people's mouths, but her migraines seem chronic, and it certainly affects her ability to function. On a bad day, she has to sit in the dark and quiet, take an Excedrin and a rest. Does that count as a disability? I think it should. And I'm too much like her to not worry about if she passed that down to me as well.

Am I allowed to say this? Am I allowed to add a footnote that I'm not disabled yet? It feels wrong to say. It feels wrong to voice how temporary being abled feels to me. But my knee still hurts when I get up from the floor. My ankle still gets sore from a not-quite sprain I had years ago. And I can't shake the feeling it's gonna get worse.

[noroi1000]

Hi!! Can I please have a romantic jjk matchup?? (and forgive me if I make a mistake in the writing, I'm not fluent in english yet♡)

I'm pansexual and genderfluid, that uses all the pronouns.

I'm a brazilian, my sign is Leo and MBTI is INTJ. I have tan skin, dimples, brown eyes, straight black hair that goes below my waist and bangs. About my body, I think what stands out the most are the really thick thighs and the hands and feet that are really small. I wear glasses (I have astigmatism and myopia, my grade is VERY high); where i live is SO hot but i really like to wear sweats and pants so sometimes it's kind of hard but i think i wear any kind of clothes? I like to experiment with new styles and I really want to dye my hair but I didn't have the opportunity; I'm absolutely addicted to wearing necklaces, bracelets and especially rings, I'm always wearing several.

I have a quiet, observant, sarcastic and motherly personality, although from a distance it seems that I will be rude to you, I will actually be very calm and give you soft smiles. I can get stressed out easily but I don't show anything but glare, and above all I NEVER raise my voice, even in a fight the only thing I'm going to do is keep my voice calm with a firm, authoritative tone. I LOVE protecting and caring for people and listening to them talk about what they like, I always give them my FULLY attention. My love language is 100% touch, I am always touching the people I like and care about. Another thing is that I'm not a submissive person in a relationship, like no.

I'm completely in love with all kinds of art, especially dancing (I'm ALWAYS dancing while listening to music, which is pretty much all day long) and drawing/painting (sometimes I end up doing a whole drawing and not even realize it). I love reading and I always have a book with me, physical or digital. I love animals, I have cats, dogs, parrots, turtles and cockatiels, and I would give my life for them all without a second thought. Oh, I also love anything horror related with passion and bake, most of the time I don't even eat, I just bake and give it to people because I love it when they say they like what I made.

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

Kento Nanami

He is the most peaceful man you can meet. He is usually stoic and calm. Often serious and pays no more attention to his surroundings than he needs to do.

People who know him know that he can even get irritated quickly and he does not pay attention to words. But he says it calmly.

More than yelling in annoyance, he speaks in sarcasm. It is enough for someone to ask him something and he will answer sarcastically. But he will only do this to the person who pissed him off.

When someone pisses him off, he will feel the pressure of being scolded and will know the feeling of fear well. He is furious but shows no emotion. It can be terrible 👀

For younger people, when he knows he has to take care of them because they are underage or too irresponsible, he feels the need to take care of everything by himself. He would not like something bad to happen or something to go wrong.

He will supervise everyone and instruct if necessary.

You can't see it, but he doesn't want anyone to get hurt. Even he feels he has friends and doesn't want him to have time to do anything. He'll care more for someone else's safety than his own.

He has a calm and deep tone of voice. No matter what happened. Whether he's angry or sad or happy, it doesn't change. He speaks calmly and with composure. And seldom upsets him to start screaming.

Anyone can talk to him. Even when he doesn't seem to be listening, his attention is divided and he can actually hear it all. When he feels the need to respond and continue the conversation, he will do so.

He is perceptive. He sees a lot. He sees many details that are not noticed by others around him. He has good eyesight and almost no change will escape him. That's why he likes to have everything in its place.

Just as he doesn't like to overwork, he doesn't like spending all his time at work. He prefers to come to his quiet home and take care of himself or someone who is waiting for him at home.

His house probably wouldn't be that big, and it wouldn't be crazy either. Would be a quiet place with light colors. No exaggeration with colors. But it definitely has a lot of free space there. There is simply nothing to put there. Garden, small terrace in front of the house. Everything is calm. Adapted to spend time in quiet activities. Or not to leave the house.

A peaceful life with someone is something you dream about.

Headcanon:

• He is admired by your concern for people. It may surprise him a bit, but he knew people who wanted to help others. Just like the fact that they like other people and see the world very positively. He cannot forbid you to do something like this because helping people is good. And also, if you like it, he can't forbid it. He considers it a positive quality and makes sure that you are a nice person.

• When you have a soft voice or keep it quiet, he feels like he can listen to you for hours. Without any scream or anything annoying.

• He is always surprised when you care for him. You tell him to take care when he leaves, you check to see if he's okay. You take care of him like no one else. He is surprised by this behavior because nobody has ever cared for him like that.

Additionally, you can check whether he is eating well or sleeping well. Everything is easier for him with you.

• He can talk to you normally. He will smile when he says something he wants to say to you and then hears your own opinion.

He takes a lot of your opinion, and he wouldn't want to do something without your permission and without hearing what you have to say about it. Everything that has to be for you, he prefers to consult with you.

He has to make sure of everything about you. And then it can surprise you. It will be when he knows what he needs about you. Favorite color, style. What exactly do you like. He has to find out everything. As much as you know his needs, he must make it up to you as much as he can.

• His hated time of the day is the morning for sure because he has to get out of the warm and pleasant bed where he sleeps with you and get ready to go to work. When he can sleep longer and hold you in his arms when he doesn't have to go out, he wants to stay that way. But then you can wake him up with the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

He might be telling you that you don't have to make him meals all the time because he too can cook something for you. He knows you like to bake and he wouldn't forbid you to do what you love.

• The best time of the day is when you come home from work. He loves to see you smile when you are home when he comes back.

• When you visit him at work during his break, there is nothing he could do but get you on his lap to spend such a few minutes.

• Each day is a very nice experience for him. He has gotten used to your touch when you run your hands over his shoulders or his back when he is facing you, and when he turns you throw your hands around his neck to let one of your hands slide over his . It's just as nice as when you hug him from behind or from all sides. He really likes to feel your touch against his skin.

So will he who will run his hands over his shoulders, stomach, waist and back to show that he loves you. He will kiss your shoulder, neck or head as he comes from behind and watch you prepare something to eat with his hands clasped around your waist.

• He lets you guide yourself. If you want him to keep his hands where you want, or if you want him to do something for you, he will. He himself does not order you, and he allows you to do so.

He loves your homemade cakes and pastries. Everything that is home made is better than from the store. And what you bake even better. Thanks to you, he likes bread even more. But only yours.

• He knows your preferences. Therefore, when he buys you jewelry as a gift, it is perfect. You will like it. He knows what you like, what color, what metal. And also in what style.

Same with him, because if he got a signet ring from you, he could wear it anywhere. It would remind him of you no matter where he was.

• In his house, he can arrange a corner for any pet you want to have. It is important to him that they do not spoil anything. Besides, they also have a garden at their disposal which they would surely have.

• Watching you move to the beat of the music while whatever you do is the most beautiful sight for him.

• He will definitely show his feelings to you in different ways. Touch is probably the best for him as well. However, it is important to him that he only loves you.

"Do you always move like this when I'm not home? Even when I hold you, your whole body dances, right? What kind of dance do you like best? Why don't you dance it for me? Or… Maybe we'll dance together?"

[stardustedknuckles]

You know, all of this eye strain and tension headache and migraine stuff ramped up when I finally ran out of my old regular contacts and started using the toric lens my eye doctor prescribed for my left eye. I have my glasses on today because it was getting so bad and my left eye is extremely annoyed with me. I keep feeling like it's refusing to focus until I manually "find" the muscle and force it to. I told her I didn't want astigmatism correction because I have the lowest possible astigmatism you can have and I have never had it compensated for. I didn't think anything of the toric lenses because it was six months before I ran out of regulars (don't ask how long I wear them for all of our sakes, it's way too long because they're fucking expensive) but damn if all this headache and light sensitivity shit didn't start after I gave in and wore the damn toric on my left eye.

And if that's the case it means my glasses are also pretty much non-viable long term because again, she put the astigmatism correction in the left eye and it kind of hurts. The whole point of the glasses was to have a place to relax my eyes away from the contacts, but I haven't yet managed to wear them longer than three days. I just get to feeling lightheaded and strange. I'd go without either but I literally cannot see, so.

[whorefordazai]

For the matchups-

My pronouns are she/they, no preferences I simp for everyone and I'm a Gemini sun and Aries moon. My height is 164 cm and I have medium-length black, wavy hair. I have astigmatism (near-sighted) but rarely wear my glasses cuz they look bad on me and just—fashion✨

My hobbies are reading and writing, martial arts, osu, singing, and editing cursed shit. I'm touch-starved so my love language is physical touch (receiving), and with giving, it would be gifts and words of affirmation.

I like starting playful debates and teasing those I love, and usually lazy but if it's something I'm passionate about that changes. And I'm always open to spontaneous adventures at ungodly hours. I don't have a consistent aesthetic, it goes from frilly dresses and headbands to neckties and leather jackets.

My fav colors are black, dark blue, and dark red. Date ideas are: SCIENCE MUSEUMS- sparring, Laser tag/arcade (good competitive shit) and just cuddling at home. Also I'm a Dazai, Yosano, and Nikolai kinnie (yikes) 

I know ur event isn't closed yet but u have A LOT on ur inbox bestie so u can do this at a later time, it's okay I'm patient just not with school and remember to rest and take care of urself bestie❤ and SLEEP 🙂 ily and CONGRATS AAAA- (i hope this wasn't too long ; — ;)

I match you with...

Fyodor Dostoevsky! ´ˎ˗

👾 OKAY HEAR ME OUT!—when you said you were a dazai kinnie, I immediately thought of fyozai. you and fyodor—most terrifying crack filled couple😎 toebi, you enable chaos and so does fyodor, but it’s more like you subtlety suggest an idea for fun and he surprises you by actually going through with the plan 🌝 and by the time the plan is in action, you’re like “🙂⁉️” and he innocently sits there like “isn’t this what you wanted 🙂?”

👾 he is one touch STARVED mf like this man is hungry hungry 👹 so he’ll be kinda hesitant to initiate any physical contact, but once you guys get comfortable together—he’s all over you. either his head is always rested on your shoulder or in bed ?especially when it’s -30 outside) his arms won’t leave your waist. what did you expect? he’s anemic and gets cold 24/7—you’ve become his personal heat blanket 😁

👾 ohoho he loves playing mind games—so he thinks it’s hot when you start playful debates with him. the sexual (?) tension I SWEARR—it’s like neither of you will wave your white flag (neither of you have a white flag tbh) so it just goes on and on until the both of you forget what the hell you were even talking about in the first place. he’d be like “what were we even talking about🧍‍♂️?” just nod and smile....walk away toe toe ✊

👾 this man is typically lazy when he’s not plotting world domination okay🧍‍♂️he refuses to take his meds, forgets to eat, often sleeps too much or too little—there’s nothing in between. so you’ll probably have to force him to take his meds. as for dates ahh you’re probably the one dragging him around at ungodly hours of the night—but he won’t complain. he actually quite likes it how you’re so spontaneous. you’re unlike anyone he’s ever met in his life (nikolai is his other boyfriend but he doesn’t admit that okay)

SONGS ´ˎ˗

- kiwi | harry styles

- madness | ruelle

- nervous | the neighborhood

- wait a minute! | willow

- flawless | the neighborhood

MESSY LAYOUT ´ˎ˗

ps. you guys are my favorite toe buddies 👉👈

[reikoackerman]

Helloo Mrs. Ackerman! The week went by quite quickly! I’ve been looking forward to Self-Ship Sunday since last Sunday haha!

Rei’s questions:

Quick Mia, pack your bags. Erwin is bringing you on a road trip for the weekend!!

1. Where do you think he is bringing you to?

-> Well, if it's just for the weekend, I’m guessing we’re headed to our cabin in the mountains. It's this cozy little weekend home that we built on the slope of a hill, overlooking the valley. I designed it myself 😊 We usually go there to unwind after a hectic week. There's no network, so the phones are off. There's a lake nearby where we go fishing and kayaking. (Yes, we love kayaking. We’re that couple which has their kayaks mounted above their car), and acres and acres of lush forest. We spend our days at the pretty little sit-out on the patio. There's obviously a lot of reading involved. Its calm and quiet, giving us some much-needed uninterrupted time with each other.

2. What songs will be in your road trip playlist?

-> Our travel songs are usually slow and breezy, just like our moods for the weekend - Usually something consisting of a lot of piano, or acoustic guitar. We love listening to instrumental music while traveling. Fortunately, our tastes in music are quite similar. So, we don’t bicker over what's playing.

3. Do you two take turns driving, or is there a designated driver?

-> He prefers driving – more like, I prefer not to. I love looking outside the window without having to focus on the road. But if he’s had a looooong day, I ask him to nap in the passenger seat while I do the honors. But he’s too nice. He still stays awake and keeps me company.

Now, some questions for you, m’lady and Levi. Playing along your vacay theme!

Have you and Levi been on many vacations together? Which was your favorite destination and why?

What are your holiday personas? (I.e., Do prefer staying in and relaxing, or spending all your time site-seeing, or is there a balance?) And do you have matching personalities or do they clash?

Which is a destination that you haven't been to yet, that you want to visit together?

Rei: Well hello there Mrs Smith, I hope you and Erwin have been well! I know you had a really tiring week so I hope you feel more relaxed now!

Levi: Tch. How can you feel more relaxed when you have a walking encyclopedia next to you talking non-stop?

Rei: Levi!!! SUSHHH don't be mean!!

Rei: Awww, that sounds so relaxing already!!! I wish Levi would build me a cabin in the woods *sobs*

Levi: Oi. I'm not a carpenter.

Rei: I'm kidding. But for real Mia, it's so cool that you built it on your own! Did Erwin help you with the designing too?

Rei: It must be great too, immersing yourselves in nature without distractions from your phone!! What do you two do other than kayaking, fishing, and reading?

Levi: What else? Probably lots of s-

Rei: LEVI!!!

Levi: What? It's the truth. What else will a man and a woman do on vacation? Play monopoly?

Levi: Tch. That sounds like Erwin. Luckily you and him share the same taste. He, Mike and I went on a road trip once, and Erwin was playing a playlist full of Tchaikovsky. Mike and I fell asleep.

Rei: We do enjoy listening to classical music too, but not for road trips hehe. We usually listen to pop, or rock!! We love singing along while driving!! Well, me actually. I love singing. Levi usually hums, but if it's one of his favourite songs, he'll sing along with me. Do you wanna tell them what you like singing to most, hmm?

Levi: No.

Rei: Aw come on, people would want to know.

Levi: But I don't wish to tell.

Rei: Aww Mia. Erwin's so sweet!! And so thoughtful. Levi usually drives too, but we will swop around occasionally!

Rei: Levi would drive during the day because the traffic is heavier. And in turn, I drive at night, also partly because Levi's astigmatism is pretty bad but he refuses to wear his spectacles at night. *eyes Levi angrily*

Levi: You prefer driving at night anyway. It's a win-win situation.

Levi: We haven't been to many countries actually. But we've been to Hong Kong a few times, and Taiwan too. We've also been to Vietnam. I like Taiwan. The bubble tea is nicer than the shitty ones here.

Rei: Yeah because the girls in Taiwan are cuter and prettier, right?

Levi: N-nonsense... [Levi looks away, rubbing his nose.]

Rei: You're stuttering *eyes Levi angrily again* hmph. I love Hong Kong. It's a familiar place. I love bargaining at the street markets like at Temple Street, Mong Kok etc. And as much as I hate it, bringing Levi along with me brings a lot of discounts too.

Levi: ... tch.

Rei: What? You don't even need to say anything and those aunties automatically lower the prices of clothing for us. Hmph.

Levi: And the trade-off is that they keep touching me. Yuck.

Rei: You're sacrificing a little cleanliness for the greater good. Look at how much haggling I avoided.

Rei: Well, it's a good thing that Levi and I both survive on very little sleep, and we are also early risers. So we're pretty similar! We're the type who would wake up at 4am just to go hike and view the sunrise.

Levi: We do a mix of both. In the day we will go out, like to sightsee or do touristy things. We stay in at night to relax. At most we'll go have dinner outside.

Rei: If we're not sightseeing, we would be eating, or shopping! Good thing Levi isn't a picky eater too. But he gets bored when I'm shopping.

Rei: Oh I really want to go to Japan and UK!!!! It's on my bucket list. I have to go there!!! Also, I want to go on a Europe tour!!!! I really want to go to France....

Levi: Oi, woman. I'm not made of money.

Rei: But you promised me a Europe tour for our honeymoon....

Levi: I didn't say no. I just said I'm not made of money.

Rei: Isn't that telling me 'no Europe tour'???? Well fine, at least bring me to France, won't you?? Hmm??? [I give Levi the best imitation I could of the sad puppy eye, and also tried to give him a little pout.]

Levi: ... stop whining and come here. [Levi gave me a hug and ruffled my hair.]

Levi: Fine let's go to France next time, when travel bans are lifted. But if my mum and uncle want to tag along, I can't stop them.

Rei: I'm not the one suffering, you're going to share a room with Uncle Kenny anyway~

[Levi had a look of horror plastered on his face].

Levi: Let's not go to France, then.

Rei: Hey!

[artificialqueens]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer), Chapter 4 (Branjie, Jankie) - Joley

ao3 link

“I feel like I should at least pretend to be surprised. I don’t wanna come off as arrogant, you know?” Jan mused as she and Gigi walked back from the auditorium. She’d gone in just to pick up her script after securing her spot in the musical as Veronica, something she felt this whole week was leading up to. Something that made all of the chaos more bearable. “But this just… it feels right, right?”

Gigi chuckled softly and nodded. “Yeah, we all knew you had this in the bag. But I like the confidence you have, I’m proud of you, and you totally deserve this.”

Jan wrapped her arm around Gigi, hugging her from the side. “Thanks, I still needed to hear that,” she admitted. They continued walking in silence before she hesitantly told her, “I wanna tell Jackie. Despite what happened, she did help me a lot when it came to preparing for the audition.”

Gigi’s eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. “Are you kidding? This is the perfect excuse to go talk to her! Even if things are weird, I’m sure she does actually want to know if you got the role. And if all goes well, you could always… thank her for her help,” she winked.

“Do you have any ideas about anything that doesn’t involve sex?” she asked.

“Hm… No, not really. Where’s the fun in that?”

Jan shook her head, she couldn’t have really expected anything else. But with Gigi, in its own weird way, it was almost endearing. “I appreciate the effort,” she told her with a wry grin. While she wasn’t exactly planning on following Gigi’s advice, she knew she was going to have to pluck up the courage to reach out to Jackie – she wanted to be the first to tell her about the role.

So, she texted her. Nothing dramatic, simply ‘I have good news, can we talk about it over coffee?’ and she sent it quickly before she could overanalyze and rewrite it. Though she was holding her breath until she received a text back, reading ‘sure, can be there in ten :)’.

By the time Jan made it to the coffee shop, she had managed to talk herself out of her nerves. She had to remind herself that before anything else, Jackie is a teacher, she knew how to be professional. And she could be professional too. They could have a professional friendship. As long as she didn’t look her right in the eye.

Jackie was notoriously early to everything – something Jan had only learned through passive gossip – so she wasn’t terribly surprised to see her sitting and waiting at a table with her coffee in hand. “Hey,” she greeted with a smile as she sat down and took a sip of her own drink.

“Hey you,” Jackie hummed. “So, what’s the big news?” she asked, trying not to give away that she strongly suspected the answer.

Either Jan didn’t notice or didn’t let it dampen her enthusiasm if she did. “I got the role! I’m gonna be Veronica,” she announced with a bright smile.

Jackie set her cup down and clasped her hands together. “Oh my god, that’s great!” She reached out, hand gently grasping Jan’s wrist. “I’m so happy for you, I knew you could do it.”

Jan smiled warmly. She missed the feeling of Jackie’s hand on her, even in a manner as simple as that. Even though she’d only experienced it briefly and drunkenly before, it felt comforting and familiar. “I definitely have you to thank in part for that. Who knows how hard I could’ve flopped if I picked the wrong song,” she mused.

“I don’t think it would’ve been possible for you to flop,” she retorted. “I think you could’ve sung the dictionary and they still would’ve given you the part.”

“Still, I’m glad I went to see you,” Jan finally got herself to make eye contact with Jackie. If nothing else, she wanted to convey that she was glad every part of that night happened, that she didn’t have any regrets, that the only thing she would’ve changed is running away in the morning. She doubted all of that would come across, but if she was lucky, the important parts would.

And Jackie seemed to at least try to understand what Jan meant. She smiled, she nodded, she rubbed her hand up and down Jan’s arm. “I’m glad you went to see me too,” she told her, voice holding just as many layers of emotion.

Jan smiled, biting down on her lip. “So, if I ever need someone to rehearse with…”

Jackie arched her brow. “Just rehearse?”

Blushing, she looked down. “Well, we’ll see where it goes, won’t we?” She strummed her fingers against the table as she took a long sip. “Maybe tonight?”

“Yeah,” Jackie breathed out, “I can do tonight.”

——

Going to see Jackie this time felt different. Jan was going in knowing the strong possibility of them having sex, and it took away a lot of pressure. It got rid of the fear of the unknown that had followed them ever since the morning after. She texted Jackie that she was in front of her apartment, then bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited.

“Hey,” Jackie greeted warmly as she ushered Jan inside. She looked her over curiously. “Whose letterman jacket is that?”

Jan looked over at her with a grin. “Mine,” she chirped. “I played soccer in high school. I kinda wanted to get into the mood of playing a high schooler. I was gonna get my old catholic school uniform, but…”

Jackie pouted playfully. “Don’t tease me like that,” she whined. “What, didn’t wanna take a ride out to Jersey?”

“Exactly!”

She chuckled softly. “Fair enough. You want anything to drink? Have you eaten?”

“I did,” Jan assures. “I’ll just take a water bottle or something if you’ve got one.”

Jackie nodded and fished one out of the fridge. “Heads up!” She tossed the bottle towards Jan, who was ready to catch it, but she had botched the throw terribly and it landed at the foot of the couch instead.

Jan giggled and picked it up. “Good effort!”

“Don’t patronize me, I have astigmatism,” she retorted with a dry laugh, grabbing a water bottle for herself. She didn’t want to say it out loud – lest she make Jan feel bad – but she was relieved that they had both decided not to drink. They needed time together with clear minds. And if something did happen, she wanted to remember every second of it.

“Were you in any clubs in high school?” Jan asked, deciding to change the subject.

“Other than theatre? I did student council, that was pretty fun, even though I know that’s about the nerdiest thing I could say.”

The younger student shrugged. “Hey, it helped get you here, so that’s all that really matters, right?”

Jackie tilted her head in thought for a moment. “Huh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” she decided, taking a swig of water. “Anyway, do you want to start with your lines or songs?”

“I feel like the songs take up a lot more of the show, that should probably take precedent,” Jan mused.

“Alright, which do you wanna start with?”

She hesitated. “There’s one I’m still nervous about getting right, don’t laugh…”

Jackie furrowed her brows but gestured for Jan to continue.

“Dead Girl Walking,” Jan admitted. “I just… I don’t know how to be sexy and lustful on stage, and it’s such a passionate song… I don’t know, I just haven’t worked through that awkwardness yet, and I can feel it coming out when I practice,” she explained, then noticed the way Jackie was looking at her. “Don’t give me that face, it’s different when it’s in front of an audience and specifically choreographed.”

She chuckled softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just struggling trying to conjure up the mental image of you not being able to do sexy.” In fact, the only mental image she could conjure up was the one of Jan half-naked, grinding on her thigh. But she did want to help and pressed her lips together as she tried to think of a plan. “Why don’t you just try singing it through first? Close your eyes and picture what you want to be able to do.”

Jan nodded, taking her phone out to get the music going. “Okay, yeah, I think that’ll work,” she decided. She pressed play on the instrumental-only music and set her phone down before closing her eyes and starting to sing.

Jackie nodded as she listened, waiting for the lines that would lead to her supplying the dialogue.

“Before they punch my clock I’m snappin’ off your window lock Got no time to knock I’m a dead girl walking”

“Veronica? What are you doing in my room?” Jackie’s eyes were trained on Jan as she spoke. She noticed Jan’s posture seemed to relax like she took comfort and reassurance in her voice.

“Shh…” Jan was delivering the line, but also calming herself down with an exhaled breath.

“Sorry, but I really had to wake you See, I decided I must ride you till I break you…”

As Jan continued to sing, Jackie slowly, quietly got up and walked up behind her. She slipped off the letterman jacket and tossed it aside, then rested her hands on Jan’s hips, pressing kisses against the back of her neck.

Jan shuddered softly but didn’t break focus. She picked up on what Jackie was trying to do right away, and she thought it was a true testament to Jackie’s quick-thinking brilliance.

“Come on! Tonight I’m yours I’m your dead girl walkin’…”

Jackie leaned forward a bit, picking just the right spot to bite down and leave a hickey. It was clear what she was trying to communicate – ‘that’s right, you’re mine, keep singing for me’. But as the tone of the song became gentle, so did her touches. She raked her fingers through Jan’s hair, releasing it from the ponytail it was in, while her opposite arm wrapped securely around her waist. She knew to keep it nice and calm until her next cue.

“Let’s make this beautiful!”

Jackie smirked and spun Jan around to face her. “That works for me.” She knew how the choreography for the number went and eased right into it – she pulled Jan into a kiss and held her close as she backed onto the couch, falling onto it with Jan straddling her lap.

Jan finally opened her eyes when her next singing cue hit. The passion she had failed to capture in her words came out in full force now. They hit every physical cue – she lightly slapped Jackie’s cheek, Jackie pulled her hair and pulled her shirt open, then moved her hands up Jan’s torso and to her breasts.

They rolled their hips together in time with the beat, punctuating every ‘yeah’, and Jackie swore the arousal she saw on Jan’s face was real by the time the music faded out.

And Jan was breathless, her face flushed red. She was searching for words, but there just didn’t seem like there was a good way to ease out of this quasi-performance mode.

“I think you’ll be able to do it now,” Jackie mused, her arms looped casually around Jan’s waist. “I knew you had it in you.”

“Is that the only thing I’m getting in me tonight?” Jan asked with a wink, twirling her hair around her finger.

Jackie gasped, putting her hand to her chest as if she were clutching pearls. “Janice Sport, you are naughty,” she chastised, her tone intentionally overdramatic.

“Then you should punish me,” she answered without missing a beat.

Instead of verbally answering, Jackie just scooped Jan up in her arms and carried her into the bedroom. She pushed Jan’s unbuttoned shirt off her shoulders and laid her down on the bed. “Now that you mention it, I think that’s exactly what you deserve.” She stood up and looked Jan over. “Strip for me.”

“You’re not gonna shoot me, are you?” Jan joked, referencing the scene in the musical. She didn’t wait for an answer, stripping down to nothing regardless.

“Mm… No, not this time,” she teased. She took her time undressing, making sure Jan never took her eyes off of her. It was a rush of confidence, of power, it stirred something up in her and she felt such an urge to act on it. She moved closer, then pulled Jan to sit at the edge of the bed, tilting her chin up with two fingers. “Now, what am I going to do with you?”

Jan opened her mouth to respond, but Jackie pressed a finger to her lips. Not an actual question, got it. When Jackie kissed her, she readily reciprocated, wondering if she was planning the next steps or just dragging it out to tease her. It didn’t matter to her, really, she was eager for whatever Jackie was going to do.

And Jackie was just trying to figure out what to do. She had this beautiful girl, naked and ready for her to do what she pleased. As much as she liked this rush of power, it came with an odd sense of pressure too. But then an idea hit. “Lay on your back.”

Jan’s brow rose in interest, but she obeyed and laid on her back. Her eyes followed as Jackie as she walked across the room and rifled through a drawer. And when she realized Jackie was returning with a silk scarf, her heart started beating faster.

“Arms above your head,” Jackie instructed, then tied Jan’s wrists together. “Naughty girls don’t get to touch. Not me, not yourself. Just lay there like a good girl,” she cooed.

Jan whined because now that she was specifically told otherwise, all she wanted was to get her hands on Jackie. But then she watched Jackie disappear between her legs, and suddenly her whining turned to moaning.

Jackie’s hands firmly held Jan’s hips down against the bed. Her tongue traced along her slit before slowly circling her clit. She let her tongue dip inside her, thrusting and curling in ways that made Jan moan louder and writhe up more desperately. “Stay still or I’ll stop,” she warned firmly.

“Fuck, sorry, sorry,” Jan panted, finally willing herself to stay put. It felt far too good and she would do just about anything to keep it going. There was a brief moment of torturous nothingness, followed by the blissful relief of feeling Jackie’s tongue on her clit once more.

As Jackie continued sucking on and lapping at Jan’s clit, she eased a finger inside of her, pace rapidly building up until she was roughly fucking her with one, then two fingers. Her other hand alternated between holding Jan down and moving up to grope at her breasts. She felt and tasted perfect, every inch of her, and Jackie quickly found herself getting addicted to the girl.

If Jackie was starting to get addicted, Jan was fully hooked. Her moans were shamelessly, pornographically loud. If her hands weren’t tied, they’d be grabbing anything they could – Jackie, the comforter, she desperately needed something in her grasp. But all she could do was focus her energy on staying still, which was growing increasingly difficult. “Jackie, I – fuck – I’m close, so close, shit…”

“Go on,” Jackie encouraged. “Come for me.”

It had hardly taken more than that. A moan ripped through Jan as her orgasm hit, and she couldn’t help but buck up as she rode it out.

Jackie decided to let that slide, fucking her just as fervently through her orgasm, even continuing for a moment after she knew she was spent. “Hm,” she started as she finally moved to untie Jan’s wrists, “I think you’ve learned your lesson, haven’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” Jan nodded eagerly as she shook out her hands. “Wait, let me get you off too,” she insisted, reaching out to tug on Jackie’s arm. “Sit on my face.”

“I just can’t say ‘no’ to you,” Jackie chuckled. Despite giving in to Jan, she did wait until the brunette had caught her breath before she went on to straddle her face.

But as soon as Jackie was in position, Jan happily got to work. She gripped onto Jackie’s ass to hold her steady as she made quick work of sucking and licking at her.

Jackie held still at first, not wanting to overwhelm Jan. But when she was certain she was fine, she relaxed, rolling her hips steadily as she rode her face. “Fuck, Jan…”

Jan couldn’t help but be proud of herself when she realized she was having the same effect on Jackie as she did on her. She was an overachiever, even in bed. So, it became something of a self-imposed challenge to get Jackie off as fast as she could, not willing to stop until she had the older girl shaking.

And it ended up not taking long at all. Jackie was nearly as loud as Jan when she came, gripping onto the headboard as her hips rocked, then eventually slowed to a halt. “Jesus, fuck…” she exhaled as she moved to lay beside her. “Is there anything you can’t do with your mouth?” she teased.

“Whistle,” Jan replied with a shrug, which made both of them fall into a brief fit of giggles. She then cuddled up against Jackie. “You mind if I stay the night? I promise I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Sure,” Jackie nodded, trying to sound casual, like she wouldn’t have cared either way if she got to wake up to Jan. “I’ll make breakfast.”

Jan nodded and let out a yawn. “Pancakes, please,” she murmured. This was fine, she thought. They had sex, and nothing felt weird. They could keep doing this, she told herself. There was nothing wrong with them just sleeping together, right?