#i have a GP appointment in half an hr but i rlly dont want to
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Oh you know shit’s bad for me when I’ve run out of queued posts…
I have two post in my queue and I only added them today
#shut up ray#i am…. not well….#trying to remember how i pulled through dark shit before is…#idk i don’t remember anything#i mean i have to keep going for various reasons#but i used to be able to like push myelf into smthn#like a fixation of some kind to get me to the next point of ‘im okay’#the worst part i think is that i SHOULD be okay#i have some things to be sad abt sure but idk#those things dont have solutions and its driving me insane#multiple times a day i flip between ‘its hopeless i dont want to exist’ to ‘its okay i can keep going. i can figure this out’#MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY i am switching between those two things#i have a GP appointment in half an hr but i rlly dont want to#they’ve disappointed me so many times ive lost count#and i have a bad feeling theyll just emotionally wear me down and push me into agreeing to some useless thing that wont help me#i try to remind myself that atleast i dont have to pay money to be let down like certain places…. but it still sucks#anyway…… gotta actually go to the doc to be disappointed by them soo… off i go i guess….
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