#i hate when i have to do maths for a gifset | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

greenandbluebubblegum · 2 years ago

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Hello Green!! Hope. You're doing great!! 💜

I think it's more stress and anxiety in my jobs, like it's tone of money! But I think I start to have some faith in myself to managed it! I actually love math, like it's so fun!! I loved watching video on the topic!! I'm a science and math nerd!! I actually missed it in my studies (I'm in a psychology master now!!). I think I will try to find a way to do it!

Personally I watched some Guide on YouTube for OnlyOneOf, it's helped a lot!! And I try to guess their name on their IG post!! (I used this as an excuse to watch a lot of their content, yes.)

I don't know if you saw, but Junji is having his solo debut this month!!! So excited to see what direction he chose to go!! I hope their release a repackage album with all their solo work. I can't collect all of their solo work, and I don't want to chose between member 😭 I know the rest are going to be on the same level as Begin and Be Free, so it will be impossible to choose based on my fav's solo!

I have yet to listen to the new Rosalia song, I will!! 🥰 I really loved her album when I listened to it!! So if it's the same quality as it, I will enjoyed it for sure! RN, I'm obsessed with the new Beyoncé album!! It's everything!!

I think I saw a tweet from a event company in Italy saying that they are in négociations for something, and the fan are going to be in '' free fall '' if it's true (stuff like that) 😭 like I don't want to get my hopes up, but it's getting sooner until the announcement!!! I do think Paris is for sure happening (source : dude trust me). Like it's the city of love and everything, it would be a shame if they did not go (like Kinnporsche and Vegaspete deserve to have honeymoon sketch in Paris)!!! I hate waiting really 😭

OFMD ruined me really!!! The ending, I was crying non stop!!! Like between Ed, my beloved, having a crisis and thinking Stede just abandon him, and Stede realizing he is in love and coming back for him, just to find out his crew on desert Island!!!!!! Omg the angst we are going to get 😭😭 and Lucius is not death until we saw his body, I don't want to hear otherwise (it would be so cool to have him being save by Jackie!!!!!!)

Oh I will take a lot on the list over the week-end!! I will try to make one too 🥰!

And it does not have to be the end of our rambles! We can always find a new series to chat about!! 🥰 Plus, BOC is going to release a movie with Mileapo, so we can look forward to that!!! 🥰

The gifset can be about anything?? :D or do you want a subject in particular?? 🥰

I will se you soon Darling!! Have a nice end of the week!! Take care 💜

Hope you had a good week Green!!

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Hi darling!! I'm back!! 😊😊 I'm fine!! I had a nice week with my sister at home!! I really needed it!! Now I'm back here haha well I have to start to study for some exams I have in September (🤭 but I don't know why I really want to return to a routine so it's good, let's see what I'll say some days later hahaha)

I'm really happy you are enjoying your job, it's normal you were nervous at first but I'm sure right now you are killing it!! Oh, so some people really like maths !!! I thought it was a myth hahaha I was always horrible at them, my father always tried to teach me but I was a lost cause lmao

wow, you are a psychology student 💞💞 that's so cool!! it is such a nice area, you will do an amazing job!!

I wasn't really paying attention to the last OnlyOneOf interactions so I don't know what's going on!! I need to catch up asap, I also saw The Boyz had a new single so need to see that too!! I was so off of everything this week that I feel it has passed 10 years hahaha the only thing I know is that the KinnPorsche cast is on a trip or something like that, I hope they would have a great time!! also, Build and Bible are always so cute!! 😍😍 still waiting for the company to announce the tour dates!! or at least the countries they are planning to go to!! still not losing faith hahaha

I now watching what we do in the shadows until the second season of OFMD starts!! Ed trying to be cool again but when he is alone he is broken!! 😭😭 my heart can't take more drama!! I really hope they would have their reunion in the first episode but I also know that wouldn't happen because they like us suffering haha

oh about the gif it could be about anything you want, I not really watching anything right now so tell me if you want something about kpop or a series. These days I mostly read so yeah I need to find another series to watch!!

Hope you are having a lovely day!!! See you soon!! 💙💜💜❤️️ Kisses !! 😘😘

#lovely Maëlle #kinnporsche anon

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cinematicnomad · 4 years ago

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Hey there, i‘m really interested in your opinion on where this Bucktaylor storyline will go. I’ve seen you say that you think that they will break up eventually, and i‘m right there with you, but i‘m also a delusional Buddie clown so i don’t think my personal assessment is really worth anything 😂 you seem like a much more level headed person, which is why i would love to hear what you think about this.

anonymous asked: Where do you think the Bucktaylor storyline is going? I like them a lot better than EddieAna, and used to think that they might be endgame (although i wouldn’t have been too happy about that) but the way they handled them in the finale not only disappointed me, it also kind of left the impression that they are definitely not going to last. I think if they seriously wanted this to go somewhere, they would have waited a while and developed them a bit more until they brought them together (yk, like a proper slowburn) If they are endgame there’s no rush, right ?

i'm not sure if you're the same anon or not, but i figured i'd answer both at the same time!

i have no idea where bucktaylor is going! i'm not stressed about it. for one thing, despite my enjoyment of buddie and despite how much i like to clown and read meta and make parallel gifsets about them, i?? have no real expectations that they'll become canon. so the bucktaylor of it all doesn't stress me out. i like taylor. i liked her when they introduced her in s2 and i liked when they brought her back in s4.

and i don't? actually think that their relationship was rushed in s4. i know i've seen some other people say that and like, to each their own, but i much more appreciate the way that taylor was brought back into the storyline, how she and buck clearly spent time together and started to build that rapport back up, that the show made it clear that buck was interested in more, and then they got together. like that's WAY BETTER than just having eddie run into ana on the side of the street and then the show just being like "lol they're together now, we don't need to show any development, here have a cringey math date and a 10 second scene of them cuddling on the couch with chris."

and honestly, other than madney, 9-1-1 isn't GREAT at developing romantic relationships. they kind of did it with buckabby in s1 but like...the less said about s1 the better. but otherwise, bobby/athena? spent an entire season having v little interaction with each other and then by the end they were like 'oh let's go on a date' and in s2 it was just full throttle they are COMMITTED. michael and david got trapped on an elevator together, went on a date in the finale, and then in s4? LIVING TOGETHER. buckalli was v reminiscent of eddieana which i already covered. so like, bucktaylor? actually having scenes over several episodes where they build up their friendship before kissing? Not The Worst. in fact, Actively Kind Of Good in my opinion.

like, was it perfect? no. i wish they'd payed that scene outside the grant-nash house a little differently—i know the actress who played taylor tried to take a cop out on twitter and was like "if you rewatch this you can tell taylor ~*doesn't really*~ mean it" but like...nah, fuck that noise, it did not come across. i don't know if that's bc the writers retconned their decision, bc the director didn't give the right notes, bc the editors chose a bad take, or bc the actress herself didn't get it right but that didn't work (though i was, like, genuinely amused at how many people on this site were like "HA! BUCKTAYLOR IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!" bc?? have you SEEN a television show before, sir, that's not how this works). and the decision to get them together in the finale kind of sucked bc like, that episodes was OVERSTUFFED already and we didn't really need the bucktaylor of it all. honestly i wouldn't have hated if we'd had the first kiss and then left things more open and come back in s5 to find out they were dating (i mean i would have PREFERRED if they explicitly decided to stay friends in the second scene instead of getting together but that's neither here nor there).

anyway, i don't think they're endgame just bc i don't think the writers are really ready to tie up buck in a serious final romantic relationship. plus i think buck and taylor are a little too similar to tell a variety of stories about them (they kind of seemed to already hit a rut in s4 with just a lot of repetitive "let's solve this episodes mystery together"). and also bc when buck does enter into an endgame relationship i imagine it'll be with a first responder (ideally obviously eddie, but i wouldn't be surprised if they introduced someone new). i don't think the 9-1-1 universe likes slow burns. i mean, maybe i'm a fool and they really ARE playing the long con and actually do want to get buddie together, but i think given what we've seen in OG and LS, the writers just. aren't interested in telling stories about people falling in love (i know everyone loves t*rlos but omg that relationship development was like...NIL). they're much more interested in stories of committed partners IN a relationship (henren and juddgrace are their BEST relationships).

i've just been rambling this whole time and i don't think any of it actually makes sense but i have a meeting in 3 minutes so i gotta wrap this up. basically: taylor is here for now, i like her way more than ana, i don't mind that she's here, i DO think they will eventually break up for the reasons mentioned but i have no idea when or how it'll come about.

#ask #anonymous #i mean the dream is to start of s5 with eddie in love with buck and pining after him as he dates taylor #and then bucktaylor breaking up and buddie getting together #but like i said i'm a pessimist at heart so i don't think that'll happen #and i actually like taylor so like? i'm not complaining if she sticks around #kat has opinions

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woosansang · 3 years ago

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yeah im gonna complain about this again just ignore me

i��m so sick of spending hours on gifsets that i hate and that i never post bc they look so shitty. i thought finally getting vapoursynth to work on my laptop was supposed to fix some of the issues i was having with gif making but it’s just making me realise that i probably am always just going to be at this level and not better. nothing i fucking do makes my stuff look nicer, and especially especially in this fandom where there are so so so many amazingly talented content creators that make awe inspiring sets, it’s so difficult for me not to get demotivated bc my stuff always looks terrible in comparision. i hate that this affects me so much. i hate that i’m constantly comparing myself to other people. i want to get better and i’m trying all these new techniques and following new tutorials until i find things that work, and i can see the improvements... up until a point. and then it just... stops. it plateaus. how do i get better? i dont understand what im doing wrong. literally an hour ago i was bouncing in my seat about the comeback tomorrow and giffing some kingdom stuff tonight in anticipation and it just... looks so fucking bad.

getting access to ts files was supposed to help

downloading a newer version of photoshop was supposed to help

reading and listening to other gifmakers and seeing how they colour their gifs was supposed to help

using vapoursynth was supposed to help

yet my creative sets always do badly

notes in general suck on tumblr nowadays but even when i think something will do really well and people will like it, it gets like two and a half notes

or my notifications blow up for a few hours with all my amazing mutuals reblogging and commenting and then... no one else looks at it.

and it shouldn’t fucking matter becuase it’s for fun

but sometimes it’s just so not fun

i dont understand what im doing wrong

am i just bad at this?

i’m getting really fucking upset about this now

and i’m sorry to be complaining about this again. i know some people were super kind to me last time this happened a few months ago. if anyone is actually reading this please dont feel like you have to come into my askbox and praise me. it’s fine.

i’m just gonna go and delete the last hour and a half’s files and get back to my normal work which i should have been doing in the first place. this is what i get for neglecting my job i guess. you're a maths teacher jazzy, not a fucking artist. stop trying to be one. fuck.

#jazzy talks #probably will delete later

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sifeng · 4 years ago

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Love and Redemption: Some Thoughts and a Comparison with Ashes of Love

So, I’ve been watching Love and Redemption (琉璃) and while there are some visible faults, I also quite like some plot points and characters. So here are some of my thoughts and also, if your an Ashes of Love fan I totally recommend you check this drama out! The themes are similar, the character setups are similar, the worlds are similar too.

I’ve just finished the 35th episode, and I’ve gotten to a point where a flower creature of sorts has been forced to become Ling Long 2.0. I actually really like this idea because it shows that a lot of people become evil because of the people they are around, not because they are naturally evil, their personality is naturally cruel or anything else of the sort. Ling Long grew up around “orthodox” people that, while also imperfect, weren’t sadistic like Wu Tong. Because of that she became a person that liked to fight for peace and removal of evil from the world. However, when her exact same personality was placed in a different atmosphere without previous memories she became just as sadistic and cruel as the people around her. I think that actually fits super well with the overall theme of this drama, which is that good and bad aren’t black and white. Even a person who is “good” in the subjective sense of that term can just as easily be “evil” if placed in a different growth environment. Honestly I find it so interesting that Ling Long went from A Zhu to A Zi (Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils reference) in like one episode.

A Comparison

When I first started liking cdramas, one of my first favorites was Ashes of Love (香蜜沉沉烬如霜), but I actually like this drama more. First of all, I think the pacing is better. The beginning of AoL was a little draggy now that I think about it, and Jin Mi only began to really show her feelings for Xu Feng around episode 30 (and it wasn’t even Jin Mi liking Xu Feng it was Saintess liking the King). In comparison, in Love and Redemption, we see from the very start that Xuanji likes Sifeng in a different manner then she likes, for example, Minyan, thus not only making it easier to ship them, but also being able to get to the tragic elements of the story faster. The CGI in Love and Redemption is simply amazing, beats 99% of cdramas honestly. I wish the cinematography was a little better because with this level of CGI, it truly deserves better camerawork.

Also, I dislike when people call Xuanji stupid, because while in the beginning she is a little dumb, she really isn’t as bad as some other characters out there. She’s like what 20? And she’s never left home or her training place in her life. Why would anyone expect her not to make trouble? Or get in trouble? That’s like teaching how to memorize all the math formulas in the world, but not teaching you how to use them and then blaming you for not being able to apply them. I haven’t gotten to the really tragic part where Xuanji and Sifeng get separated, but so far I like her more than Jin Mi honestly. Xuanji might not be the smartest person, but I love how trustworthy she is of her friends and how high she holds her friendships. Unlike so many of the adults in this series, she actually uses logic to try to understand problems not just problematic and contradictory pieces evidence. Like when Minyan is accused of being betraying their sect, she doesn’t just go “oh there’s ‘evidence’? Then he must be guilty”, she actually thinks about his character and personality and how illogical it would be if he actually betrayed them.

I also like Sifeng more than Xu Feng. When he was being accused of being a demon, he managed to bring up inarguable pieces of evidence that clearly proved he was not a demon, or at least not a problematic one instead of just going like “you should believe me because I’m so great!” (not that Xu Feng did that, but he did use ethos instead of logos, though, both apparently don’t work if you’re a male lead in a tragic xianxia). The tragedy of his character is done so well honestly. He died for Xuanji in 9 lifetimes. NINE. Please give him a happy ending. (Okay but I really dislike his second hairstyle with the two strings of hair hanging out and also Teng She’s hairstyle. Why can’t they just tuck that piece of hair in? It makes me feel so annoyed for some reason.)

No one likes Hao Chen, and I’m glad. He hates people manipulating Xuanji, but he manipulates her all the time. I do agree that if Xuanji is happy without her six senses, she shouldn’t be forced to search for them, but she isn’t happy and she wants to search for them. So why should anyone who actually likes her try to prevent that? But I actually think his character is written relatively well. As the ruler (or second in command?) of the heavenly realm, he has to put matters in front of romance, though that doesn’t mean he has to manipulate her. I understand why he does what he does and I don’t think his character is as illogical as Wu Tong, but yeah, I definitely don’t agree with what he does. In comparison, Run Yu is truly quite likable. He does try to keep Jin Mi to himself instead of letting her be happy, but overall his story is written really well and evokes our sympathy.

Oh and when it comes to friendships I also prefer the ones in Love and Redemption. First of all, it’s not just Xuanji and Sifeng who are cute together, I like that Sifeng is friends with Ling Long and Minyan as well, and they also become friends with Yanran (or Xiao Yinhua) and Ruoyu as well (though they could’ve avoided some tragedy if they hadn’t befriended him). I don’t know why, but I’m really excited to see what tragedy our OTP goes through later on, because I’ve seen the gifsets on Tumblr and boy am I excited for some tragedy!

But one thing that is better about AoL is definitely the acting. I think Cheng Yi and Yuan Bingyan did pretty good here, especially Cheng Yi, but Yang Zi, Deng Lun and Luo Yunxi (especially Yang Zi and Luo Yunxi) are more experienced and thus obviously better, especially when it comes to really emotional scenes.

FInal Thoughts

One problem I have with Love and Redemption, at least so far, is that the evil demons have no motivations to be as evil as they are. I’m pretty sure I’ll get a reason, but so far I have to say that they aren’t really well done characters in that sense. Especially Wu Tong. Like this guy has no backstory whatsoever, but is extremely cruel and sadistic from the first second we meet him. Maybe he’s like really just insane or something, but his whole “sympathy story” for why he joined the demons makes zero sense. He wanted to murder someone because him cheating gets revealed and then gets mad that the father of the person he tried to kill wants to get revenge. His story also contains two (as of so far) unexplained plot holes: 1. why every single sect decided to chase after him and 2. why he managed to escape death despite a bunch of skilled martial artists running after him for like a really long time.

Lastly, I like the fact that the orthodox people aren’t exactly “evil” but their goodness is what makes them annoying. They don’t mean harm when they tried to test if Sifeng was a demon or if Minyan is a betrayer, they truly are thinking for the overall good, but their constant paranoia and need to do “what is right” and not “what makes sense” is truly what makes them unbearable. They sometimes throw away all logic for love, or sacrifice their own daughter in order to “do what’s right” instead of actually thinking of a method to not only save the daughter and keep the world at peace. It’s because of their goodness that they are able to be manipulated into idiocracy by Li Ze Palace.

Oh and one last thought. I don’t know if it’s on purpose, but the lack of people in the heavenly realm is really interesting. Like, maybe the producers didn’t have enough money, or shots of the heavenly realm with more than like ten people (not in war) don’t exist in the book either, but it creates the image that the realm is super empty. The human realm, despite all its faults and cruelties, feels so much more alive and full of life in comparison to the boring and cold looking heavenly realm.

#cdrama #cdrama recommendations #love and redemption #琉璃 #ashes of love #香蜜沉沉烬如霜

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soft-pentagon · 4 years ago

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So I take a quick break to do my math homework (because I forgot to do it earlier lol) after Yanan and Hongseok performance. I click play and WHAT DO I SEE???

Freaking mister Yeo Changgu, in a vest or some shit, flexing his arms and handsome face, with MOVE by Taemin playing

THIS COVER IS THE REASON FOR MY DEATH, I'M WRITING THIS FROM AFTERLIFE

But seriously tho, I already found it on YouTube and I'm gonna watch it every day and send it to all of my friends (which is like 3 people so not much, but still, they need to know about it)

CHANGGU IS SO ANNOYING I HATE HIM

Also I love when he's so confident and just enjoys himself on stage

Okay, that was a long ask, bye I'm gonna continue dying

YUTO HAD 1992.04.17 ON HIS HAND??? AND THE CUPBOARD JINHO???

THEY ARE FAMILY, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, I HOPE THEY WILL BE HAPOY TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME

(Also your new gifset is super cute, just like Honk and Yuto, I love your gifs, you always do such a good job making them)

Alex... the Naughty Boy stage was more damaging than the Move performance

Yanan? Precious! Shinwon's famous scream? The best, the funniest! Changgu's smile? Everything I ever needed

This was really the stage I will come back to when I feel down, because it makes me feel so happy

They make me feel so happy

omg... you really are having the time of your life huh hgsdhgsd GOOD!!!!!!!! move was a lot.... we all completely died !!!HELL!!! BUT! IT WAS SOOOO GOOD AAAAAAAAA,, yuto having jinho birth date on his hand too, a complet slap in the face,, the 9 of them have to be together always.. and about naughty boy :(( i love it.... i love them..... its so healing idk how to explain shghsgd

#anon #ask

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beca-mitchell · 5 years ago

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we are the wild youth (1/5)

summary: Beca needs some money to get out of Barden as quickly as possible. It just so happens that an opportunity all but drops in her lap: one Chloe Beale, desperately in need of a tutor to pass her last two classes to graduate.

Warnings for smut and angst and drama. Mainly smut. Rated M/E.

chapter one: fever dream high

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

word count: 3,178

Rated M/E for depictions of coitus. This fic is an AU imagining of PP somewhat: Beca never joins the Bellas and is somewhat of a nerd, Chloe still stays back an extra three years, and there's backstory that was never part of the PP universe. But otherwise, it is set at Barden, Beca still loves music.

Fic title from “Youth” by Daughter. Chapter title from “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift. This fic is based on this gifset.

Read below or on AO3.

Beca just wants to graduate.

The deal she cut with her father is not the best deal in the world, but to him, a degree means something. Something meaningful. Meaningful enough that he’s willing to help her get the fuck out of Atlanta and move to New York. That kind of meaningful.

So in that sense, her degree is meaningful to her too. No time for fucking around.

But, senior year kind of means that she can start to take it easy. She’s almost there. She just needs to continue keeping her guard up long enough to ensure that Jesse still gets the hint she’s not interested in him and she just needs to pass.

Hence why this beginning-of-year party is an anomaly, but she’ll take it if there’s free alcohol and maybe the chance to unwind. Bedmate optional.

Beca isn’t one for parties. Definitely not one for house parties at a frat house.

She supposes these are the people who will end up playing her music in the future, however. Peering around, she grimaces at the very-near-public sex happening right on a couch that looks a little too used. A little too comfortable.

Start-of-term parties are always memorable in their own way. They’re almost formulaic in a sense. Guy gets girl, something valuable will be broken—maybe a television, maybe a heart—and something will go wrong.

Beca likes observing all of this from the outskirts while Jesse, who is the only person daring enough to drag her out of her apartment, floats away like the social butterfly he is.

It’s not that she hates parties, nor is she a recluse, Beca is just kind of tired of college at this point. She had promised her parents at least two years in college before she could head out to Los Angeles and really fulfill her dreams, but it turns out that she kind of needs money for that. Money which she doesn’t really have even if she’s been saving up pennies and quarters since middle school.

School is a safety net. She’s been told that all her life, with no small measure of patronization.

It also kind of sucks that Beca inherited at least a portion of her father’s intelligence. The daughter of a professor? There was no way he was letting her leave Barden without at least degree. Realistically, she inherited his knack for school because she’s kind of good at it. Physics, at least, hasn’t been a problem. Or Calculus.

It’s just fucking boring and she doesn’t even intend on using her degree. And she only chose something deeply rooted in science and math because she thought it would piss him off.

Many errors have been made. Miscalculated, even. Or perhaps more on point, horribly erroneous like a series of wrong notes in the middle of a symphony.

Beca could go on.

She can hear her father’s voice, somehow cutting through the raucous party and lodging deep in her head: “But your little music gigs, Beca? It’s a hobby. Science and math? That’ll get you jobs.” Then in the same breath, without fail: “It’s what your mother would want.”

The forced reminder makes Beca take another swig of cheap beer before she makes her way over to the keg for more. As she turns the corner, she stumbles, bumping into a shockingly solid body. As she drops her thankfully-empty cup, she reaches up to grab on to the arms that have come around her back to steady her.

“Thanks,” she murmurs, lifting her gaze to make some kind of eye contact when she realizes the body she’s pressed against doesn’t belong to yet another generic frat boy. Instead, she feels soft, feminine curves and the slightest hint of firm muscle beneath the fabric of a thin leather jacket.

Shockingly blue eyes stare back at her. “Hi,” she greets.

“Hi,” Beca replies, still stunned. “Um,” she steps back from the stranger’s space. Or...somewhat of a stranger would be a more apt descriptor. She would be remiss if she didn’t acknowledge that she just nearly bowled over Chloe Beale whose last name just happens to be on at least two buildings around school. Chloe Beale who is devastatingly pretty with blue eyes to die for and red hair and a burning smile.

Chloe Beale who is staring at her like she’s seeing her for the first time.

(She probably is.)

“Beca, right?”

Beca swallows. “I—yeah. How…?” Beca shakes her head. “Sorry, I’m not usually this horribly awkward.”

Chloe smiles. “How are you, usually, then? Other than being the most talented radio host Barden has ever had.”

It’s the oddest interaction to be having with a stranger in the middle of a house party. Beca can barely hear her own thoughts.

Chloe seems to read her mind. “Want to go somewhere quieter?”

Beca has never agreed to a cliche more quickly in her life.

- - x - -

It doesn’t take long—in fact, Beca barely gets out the question “How do you know my name?” before Chloe is in her space and pulling her in for a bruising kiss. Beca’s body immediately thrums with excitement and repressed energy and she quickly pushes back at Chloe, determined to at least put up some small measure of a fight against Chloe’s immediate dominance over her.

But she quickly realizes that it feels so much better, letting Chloe take control like this—Chloe whom Beca had no idea even knew she existed, let alone wanted to hook up with her.

Chloe’s breath is hot against her neck while she holds Beca against the dresser. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, Mitchell,” she breathes, voice dripping with promise and pure want.

Beca’s brain short-circuits then, a symphony of jangled notes and endless crescendos. She can only nod weakly, hands scrabbling up Chloe’s back and pulling at the thing fabric of her shirt uselessly before she grabs onto Chloe’s hair and pulls her in for another kiss.

Chloe groans and pushes back against Beca, tilting her further over the dresser and displacing bottles of cologne and accessories. Strong hands grab at her thighs and force her legs apart so Chloe’s hips can settle more firmly between Beca’s legs. The action alone sends shockwaves up Beca’s brain. Beca, who is no stranger to sex, realizes that she has never felt such strong arousal from just kissing before.

“Are we going to have sex?” Beca asks before she can help herself. She immediately regrets the question when it leaves her mouth. “Because I want to,” she says quickly before she loses it or before Chloe thinks that she’s having doubts. She isn’t. It’s just overwhelming, being so taken and consumed by a girl she barely knows.

Not for lack of trying, Beca supposes.

Of course, Beca has a stupid crush on Chloe Beale. It seemed like most people did, somehow. Chloe, popular by virtue of her wealth but also mysterious and aloof disposition, never seemed to be short on suitors.

A small measure of pride wells up in Beca before it is immediately replaced by a swooping tightening in her belly as Chloe’s teeth nip harshly at her neck. With the amount of suitors Chloe frequently wards off (and the smaller number that she seems to allow close to her), Beca assesses that it would also appear that Chloe didn’t need any encouraging at all. Much less direction.

Before Beca manages even a measly gasp or even a weak tug to Chloe’s hair, Chloe’s hands are already greedily grabbing at her hips, pushing and pulling at the fabric impatiently for a moment or so, getting a good grope in, before her fingers deftly find the button of Beca’s jeans.

Beca sucks in a breath.

It takes a moment, but Chloe pauses, lifting her head from her assault on Beca’s neck. Her eyes, dark and blown with desire, flicker with something nearly unrecognizable.

Beca’s eyes drift back down to Chloe’s lips in the ensuing silence.

“You’ve never had sex with a girl before, have you?” Chloe asks.

Beca blushes immediately, averting her eyes for a brief second before Chloe tilts her chin back up to catch her lips in a sweeping, full, wet kiss. It’s more romantic than it has any business being. Beca moans against her own will, lifting her hips up almost impatiently against Chloe’s still hand. She is so conscious of the ache between her legs. So conscious of how her previous encounters with men left her wanting and dissatisfied. Not all the time, but more often than not.

How she had always imagined what it would be like with a woman.

Chloe, maybe. Chloe, specifically. Chloe, who had occasionally seeped into her thoughts based on the occasional classes they shared together. Chloe, who ran around the track almost every morning, visible from Beca’s dorm window. Chloe, who had smiled at her just briefly from across the quad at the activities fair all those years ago and Beca hd simply just turned away—

Chloe, who is pressed against her, lips swollen from the force of their shared kisses.

Lips swollen from Beca.

“Beca?” Chloe asks, referring to Beca by her first name for the first time all evening.

“Yeah,” Beca rasps, hot against her newfound lover’s mouth.

It takes a few seconds for Beca to process sudden emptiness she feels—a lack of warmth, really—but she realizes belatedly that it is because Chloe is on her knees, pulling Beca’s jeans down her trembling legs. When Chloe looks up at her, fluttering long eyelashes, Beca feels an answering gush between her legs.

Fuck, Beca thinks with every last primal instinct coursing through her. Fuck me. She reaches out instinctively to thread her fingers through Chloe’s hair, swallowing at how natural it feels to tangle her hands in another girl’s hair. To enjoy it so much.

Chloe says nothing while she helps Beca step out of her jeans. The movements, though gentle and slow, do nothing to ease the growing tension gnawing at her stomach. She clenches again involuntarily and moans in response to her own actions causing Chloe to look up from where she still kneels in front of Beca.

For a moment, Beca feels powerful.

Then, Chloe’s fingertips gently hook into the elastic waistband of Beca’s underwear.

“Tell me how hard you want me to fuck you, Beca Mitchell,” Chloe murmurs, her voice permeating the thick fog of Beca’s brain. It almost stuns Beca into silence, but she realizes that what she wants even more than LA at that moment is Chloe’s fingers between her legs. Her tongue maybe. Lips. Beca’s hands through her hair, tangled all night.

The possibilities are seemingly endless.

“Hard,” she chokes out. “Just fuck me hard.”

Blue eyes flash with delight and the promise of everything to come.

- - x - -

She does come. Multiple times that night against the dresser. Then again when she invites Chloe back to her apartment. Against her own front door. In her bed, testing the strength of her boxspring mattress.

But none of that matters—what matters is how breathtaking Chloe looks when Beca unravels her. Breathless in her own way. Possessing Beca’s bed like she has nowhere else she’d rather be. The unmistakable tremble as Beca’s fingers sink into tight, wet heat. Choked off moans against Beca’s mouth.

And as Beca falls asleep, tired and spent, she thinks vaguely of the flash of red hair that fateful day at the activities fair. How she had pointedly avoided the pretty girl with blue eyes and red hair.

It feels like regret, chasing her into her dreams.

- - x - -

Beca isn’t one to dwell on things, however. She has no time for that kind of distraction, even if that distraction is the pleasant, fleeting sensation of Chloe’s lips pressing against the curve of her shoulder as she slips into a waking state.

There is something incredibly tender about the way Chloe’s fingers comb through her hair as she whispers a murmured goodbye into Beca’s ear. Her lips graze the sensitive skin on the shell of her ear, seeping into the peripheries of Beca’s dreaming state.

It feels like a dream, at least. All of it. Unattainable, super-senior Chloe Beale.

When Beca wakes up again, her bed is cold and empty and she’s pretty sure the aches coursing through her body have nothing to do with alcohol.

She peers blearily at her phone, unfortunately uncharged and nearly dead, and startles upon seeing that it is half past ten and she’s meant to meet a new student at eleven. She jolts out of bed and right into the shower, regrettably washing off all the remaining memories from the previous night. As she reaches between her own legs, she puffs out a heavy breath and tries not to think about how sure Chloe’s hands felt on her body the night before.

This new student is a special request from the Dean of Students himself, sent her way by her father. She had protested, barely, but the pretty monetary figure that had slid across her gaze had been enough to hold her attention.

“Just twice a week for the year. Both semesters. This student needs to pass,” her father emphasizes.

“Who is this student,” Beca demands, tucking the form into her jacket pocket. “Another entitled rich kid?”

Her father pinches his nose. “Look, I recommended you directly to Dean Sanders the moment I heard about this request. It’s from a special benefactor to the school and I know how much you need the money to go to L.A..”

“I wanted to go to L.A. three years ago.”

“Do you not want to go anymore?”

Beca bites her tongue to stop from saying anything else and looks away.

“I know you’re an adult, Becs, but I have your best interests in mind. I just want to see you try. If you do this, I’ll double what the benefactor pays you. I’ll match it and double it.”

Beca can hardly believe her ears. It’s a lot of money. Enough to be considered “safe”, even. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Beca nearly trips multiple times on the way to the diner—an odd background for a tutoring session—but she somehow makes it there with a minute to spare. She realizes she has no idea who she’s even meeting with and slowly slides into the closest booth, keeping an eye out for anybody who looks especially lost.

She sits uncertainly for at least fifteen minutes, downs an entire cup of coffee, and fends off awkward inquiries from the server before she pulls out her phone intent on calling her father and giving him a piece of her mind. On cue, she gets a text.

Unknown Hey, my dad gave me this number. You’re my tutor, right? Rebecca? lol

Beca groans.

Beca hey, yep i’m your tutor. I’m at Carl’s, just got a booth at the back

The door jingles somewhere in the background and Beca glances up to meet Chloe Beale’s gaze dead-on.

“You’re fucking joking,” Beca mutters.

Chloe, for her part, does not look pleased at all as she tosses her bag into the booth before sliding in across from Beca.

“Small world,” Chloe comments.

“You’re telling me.”

Chloe looks like she might say something else and Beca braces herself for the potential innuendo or lust-laden comment, but nothing comes. Instead, Chloe simply folds her hands and watches Beca intently, looking every bit like an innocent college student with a desire to pass her class.

Beca’s gaze flickers down to the neatly folded fingers.

When she looks back up, Chloe’s expression morphs into one that makes Beca swallow nervously.

“Are you nervous?” Chloe asks. “It’s just me,” she says in a tone that implies that she knows exactly what inappropriate thoughts are floating through Beca’s mind.

Beca ignores that, both the words and the tone Chloe uses, and pulls out her notebook and binder. “You’re in calculus two...then statistics next semester?” Chloe nods. “Those are usually first-year requirements, how are you getting away with this? Is this a pre-med degree?”

Chloe smiles—a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “When your father’s name is on the school’s med school building, you kind of get things handed to you no matter how much you want to fight it. I can only control so much.”

Beca scoffs before she can help herself. “Well, I don’t know if that’s entirely true. I think that there are things out of our control sometimes, but there are definitely things within our control.” Like leaving calculus and statistics until the end. Like sleeping together and wanting to do it again, but resisting.

Chloe gazes at her with renewed interest. “You’re a tutor, huh?”

“Looks like it.”

“And my dad hired you.”

Beca shrugs. “Kind of...so I guess your dad will kill me in front of the entire student body if we don’t do this.” She clicks her pen. “Come on, show me your assignments.”

“I really don’t want to do what he wants,” Chloe says, fluttering her eyes at Beca. “Want to do something else instead?”

Beca scowls. “I’m your tutor, whether you like it or not.”

“Fuck that.”

Beca tries not to smile at that. Chloe has such a pleasant speaking voice and a generally pleasant expression on her face at all times that it isn’t hard to see why she’s probably one of the most well-liked people on campus. So well-liked that it is often overlooked that she’s going for a third round of her senior year.

Still, professionalism. Beca can do that, kind of. She tutored worse people in high school. “Let’s get this over with, okay?”

It is entirely the wrong thing to say. Chloe’s smile widens and she leans forward, her shoulders hunched like a predator just about to pounce. “That’s not what you were saying last night.”

“I...oh my God.” Beca purses her lips and looks around hurriedly before settling on the glass of water to her side. Grabbing it, she sips it delicately for a few long moments while avoiding Chloe’s gaze and quenching the sudden dryness in her throat.

The cool water sliding down her throat is a nice thing to focus on.

She’s not focusing on anything else. Not the phantom sensation of Chloe’s hands ghosting up her sides. Not the phantom sensation of Chloe making her hold on to her own headboard. Not the phantom sensation of Chloe’s lips against her thighs, leaving marks and hot, wet kisses.

Not the very real sensation from Chloe’s eyes boring a hole into her forehead, like she can see right into the recesses of Beca’s minds. Every last dark, lustful thought.

But the moment ends before Beca can really process everything, like how part of her wants to shove everything off the table so she can climb over and straddle Chloe’s lap.

Chloe sighs, opens her textbook, and points out the series of problems she has to complete for the week. “There,” she mutters.

Math—math, Beca can do. Calculus. Statistics.

Chloe, not so much.

(Even though she already did.)

/end chap. 1

read the rest: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

#bechloe #pitch perfect #fanfiction #beca mitchell #chloe beale #mine #my fanfic #au #we are the wild youth

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katewaliss · 5 years ago

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1x1 plot list!

hello girls, gays and theys! my name is crissy, i’m 21, go by she/her pronouns and live in the PST timezone. i am celebrating bullshitting my way through my junior year with ( copious amounts of tequila but also ) make a list of 1x1 ideas / plot bunnies because i need something to do during this Borentine and what better way to spend it then making myself cry with ships!

i primarily send really long keysmash head cannons through discord and the ims, but i am also down to do replies ( on tumblr or discord ) and ask memes are my most favorite. i am introverted af but very excited abt ships so i really like having rp partners who like want to stay up all night and write and scream with me, so if that sounds like u, come thru!

if u like any of these please don’t hesitate to shoot me an im!

also my discord is daddy devito#2918 ( & yes, i do hate myself )

were starting with mermaids bc i love mermaids

ALSO YES I LIKE OPPOSITE PLOTS DONT @@@@@ ME!!!!!

ALSO ALL OF THESE PLOTS CAN BE GAY! BE GAY DO CRIMES!

i’ve always kind of wanted one based loosely on these pictures x, x, x. im thinking ponyo meets enchanted meets h20 little mermaid AF realness! like maybe hes this lil regular boy high school college student taking pictures and stuff and sees this girl wash up on the shore looking very confused. so he helps her and you know, shes a little hysterical and cant walk very well, takes her into his apartment puts a towel over here bc she like keeps talking abt how shes a mermaid and hes like oh my god shes crazy ahh. she keeps saying her dad is king of the ocean and hes like???? do u have a last name? and the police dont know anything abt her she has no file, no id, no finger print in the database?

basically the mermaid is staying w the college student in his apartment and he like teaches her what the microwave and the tv is and its very soft they fall in luv maybe drama he has a girl friend who sucks a lot who is angry abt mermaid girl idk maybe the government realizes and tries to steal her! fun THAT FIRST PIC? MAYBE HE SAVED HER WHEN HE WAS A KID ONCE FROM DROWNING!!! AHHH

alternatively i found these pictures were are in the same vein very aquamarine x, x, x, lifeguard off duty surfing and he gets stuck in a gnarly wave and almost drowns but this mermaid saves his life! and he comes to see her a lot on the beach and they hang out and fall in love he teaches her how to speak english shows her his phone!!! MAYBE THE GOVERNMENT IS ALSO POACHING HER WE LOVE DRAMA

ok last mermaid plot? BUT ITS A SIREN PLOT!!!!!!! these sirens/a siren wipes out this sailors entire ship with the sirens song they all get drowned/eaten .... but plot twist! this one sailor homie lives bc he is DEAF and therefore IMMUNE TO THE SIREN SONG!! so this siren keeps tryna sing at him and its not working and u know they fall in love good stuff MORE POACHES MORE PIRATES MORE GOVERNMENT TRYNA KILL THE AQUATIC AMERICAN BC I LOVE SUFFERING modern or maybe set back in the day???? spicy

anthour or a sculptor that writes a book w a main character or makes a statue and it comes to life and has no perception of human stuff and is like a big alien

also literally all of these plots can be made gay as the flyest bi i ENCOURAGE it!!!! i will play either character in any of them pls tell me which one u like if u like one

pls the clown clown valedictorian plot

ok speaking of giving the gays everything they want

damn i just want a cheesy wlw 1x1 plot where the first girl is a famous celebrity hella spoiled very purse dog paris hilton type and her fancy convertible sports car breaks down smack dab in a small ass hick nowheresville town and this flannel wearing mannerless tomboy mechanic comes to fix her car but rich girl is stuck in town a few days while they order the part she needs for her car bc it’s a small town they don’t have it and they get closer and the celebrity girl is humbled by the town and learns a lot abt the world and herself just ,, good times LISTEN!!!! zendaya and kristine froseth ???? SPICY

ok maybe a period piece lady knight / princess plot where she was personally assignment to the princess but maybe its a whole mulan thing where no one knows the night is a girl and is posing as a man bc women were allowed to be knights and the princess is betrothed to some loser prince once again ill play either

princess body guard plots always smack

ok princess protection program BUT GET THIS instead of that its my boy dmitri who is the heir to the russian throne or some made up european country but theres an assasination attempt so hes told he has to go into witness protection. and this dude or girls dad is head of cia/fbi and dmitri has to pose as a foreign exchange student at y/ns college and be shown around/baby sat by them. they hate eachother. probably bc dmitri is obnoxious and entitled and sleeps w everyone. he was a matthew daddario fc but not that necessary!

cheerleaders on opposite squads who got the sexual tension!!!!

plot based off hollywood the netflix limited series where its 1940s-1950s hollywood and maybe actors falling in love, an actor and a director? OR omg even better an actor falling in love with some sort of stage crew, lighting, camera person............SPICY!

a beauty / makeup youtube influencer and a pranking rant gaming sort of youtuber and they have to collab and hate it points if its gay

that cliche plot where ur friends older brother is hot

ok kstew / naomi scott .....that is such.....a wave

UGLY BETTY PLOT BITCH!!!!!! REVERSE THE ROLES OR MAKE IT GAY

i saw this gifset of margo robbie and michael b jordan talking abt how they are eachothers celebrity crush and it got my brain turning

a very whimsical hopeless romantic artist who finds a muse in a no nonsense american college student studying law studying abroad

PERCY JACKSON BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE HUNGER GAMES BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

business man/prodigal son who falls in love with a stripper/escort

harry potter......next gen................please.............scorose............but like can i play ravenclaw soft boy nothing like draco scorpio BUT ALSO ALL THE HP i also really like ocs also BEAUXBATONS DRUMSTRANG ( if anyone wants to help me w a not hogwarts but other wizarding school rp let me know )

not to b cliche but uh....pastors son bad boy plot yes!

alternatively bad girl good boy/girl plot yes! ( can i pls play bad girl seulgi its Dire )

horror until dawn stuff

soul eater? death note? OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB BITCH!!!! ANIME!

the epically cliche popular person failing math and is gonna get kicked off cheer gets tutored by biggest loser in school and only agrees to tutor her in math if she teaches them how to be cool to impress crush (popular persons friend) and they do that, they start to bond, she gives nerd a makeover the whole school falls in love with them and the popular girls real jealous and wHEw

a disgruntled detective whos wife cheated on him with his partner and he drinks everyday (also could b a lady) throws himself into work and this waitress at the diner he works at who is the opposite of him and very sunshiney

OKAY HANNIBAL but like the hannibal is a lady!

superhero x villian plot! spicy maybe theyre exes! or they went to the same super power school?

SPEAKING OF SUPERHEROS I WANT A MIRACULOUS LADYBUG PLOT RIGHT FUCKING NOW SOMEONE PLAY CHOU TZUYU AS MARINETTE!!!!!!!!!

also every disney plot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think this will get added to but for now this is the gist HIT ME THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!

#1x1 rp #1x1 #1x1 plot #plot bunny #discord rp

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angelhummel · 5 years ago

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wanted to get out some britt/ana thoughts before bed and they’re all negative so if you don’t wanna read them don’t read them. i’ll even put it below a cut so you’ve got no excuse if you want to avoid. anyway i don’t want your rebuttal or whatever klaine insult anon message you might send in retaliation bc i’ll delete it without answering like i have the last few so save us all the trouble. thanks in advance

ANYWAy of course i’ve been thinking about this before in the wake of me realizing how much i absolutely hate brittany and how she is the worst character on the show for me. but watching thetrophymuncher react to the show for the first time as someone who’s never seen or i suppose even heard about it, and seeing the issues he points out, makes it that much more obvious to me

i’ll spare everyone my rehashing of why brittany is the worst character on the show. i know i’ve talked about it enough. but besides the fact that she is literally less consistent than quinn, she also just. does nothing. and to me, that’s part of why britt/ana fans think they have the perfect relationship

i keep thinking back to the one gifset i saw that was that shady ass “happy anniversary britt/ana and klaine!” gifset that was all of britt/ana’s best moments side by side with klaine’s worst moments. and idk why but the one i remember the most is the wss cast list going up. and brittany is smiling and hugging santana and kurt is hugging blaine but also >gasp!< kurt isn’t 110% thrilled bc he also wanted the part of tony and he has conflicting feelings. the fucking rat bastard

brittany’s wants never conflict with santana’s because she has no wants. she’s a boring character and it makes their relationship boring. we’ve heard it a million times that no one wants to watch two characters sit around saying “i love you” all day but that is literally all they do. am i saying they need to fight to make things interesting? no. but no couple is going to get along 100% of the time. they’re going to butt heads eventually. i mean, they will if they’re actual individuals with their own thoughts and opinions, at least

i hope this doesn’t come as a shock to anyone, but you are not your best self in high school. people grow and they change and that’s okay. it’s allowed, actually. but brittany and santana are such enablers of one another’s shitty behavior. they let each other be as selfish and bitchy and mean as they want and they don’t care. they let each other go unchecked and are just like “well we’re hot so it’s okay”. and the fandom is the same goddamn way, which is why i dislike them as much i dislike the ship

circling back around to ttm’s reactions because that’s what made me want to word vomit this all up in the first place. when brittany was running for class president and he’s like “oh this will add a lot to her character”. It didn’t. During I Kissed A Girl and Santana’s coming out, he’s like “oh i thought they would at least focus some on Brittany and their relationship”. They didn’t. They have no scenes together, Brittany has no lines, Brittany doesn’t even sing the other part of the I Kissed A Girl duet!!

Brittany has no conflict or arguments with Santana or anyone else because it would literally be like arguing with a rock. She is a blank slate that only comes to life to deliver some cringe one liner that creates an awkward silence before everyone moves on with their lives. The writers put no thought into her and it shows over and over again. And fans will jump through hoops explaining why she’s an amazing character and Britt/ana is an amazing ship, because all they care about is two hot girls making out

And the shit that Brittany gets away with in regards to Santana is absolutely astounding. Season one, she literally outs herself and Santana to half their friends, in the middle of a crowded school hallway. No repercussions because we had to save it for s3 when the same thing happened but this time It’s Serious. In s3 she literally leaks hers and Santana’s sex tape to the entire world (which, hello, child pornography?) and in s4 Santana says that tape will literally follow her for her entire life. But no, it was a totes sweet gesture and her heart was in the right place. And the whole thing about Brittany deciding which college to sign Santana up for and sending in the applications without telling her and giving Santana absolutely no say in her own future? I’ll tell you THAT never sat right with me, never will. And the one that re-sparked this whole feeling for Britt/ana is the gem of a moment in s3 where Brittany takes part in Mr. Schuester’s offensive as fuck number where he’s a bullfighter and she’s literally dressed up as a bull running and dancing across the stage while he sings. Bc y’know, culture

And Santana delivers that whole speech about how offensive it is that he’s perpetuating these stereotypes and he’s so clueless that he really doesn’t know better. So where’s this for Brittany? We’re just ignoring her? I mean yeah we are, because she’s nothing. It’s like the whole thing of people trying to say she’s the sweet summer child too good for this world too pure naive little lamb that must be protected, but she’s also the math genius epic troll that’s always three steps ahead of everyone else. And that’s what makes me hate Britt/ana no matter how you slice it, and even dislike Santana when she’s with Brittany. Either Brittany is too naive to know what’s going on, and therefore Santana is taking advantage of her (“Which isn’t cheating because..?” “The plumbing’s different”). Or Brittany knows exactly what she’s doing at all times and is the one who’s manipulating Santana because, idk, she’s the fucking puppet master genius or whatever the fuck. Either way, she does some shitty, shady, stupid as fuck shit and gets away with it bc all people care about is two hot girls making out

Anyway wow look how long that was and how much I rambled. If anyone reads all of this I will be shocked. But like I said I just wanted to get some thoughts out and I don’t care for whatever argument you have against this bc it really just does not matter to me. Okay thanks goodnight x

#glee #lol glee #anti brittana #lol brittana #anti brittany #anti brittany pierce #lol brittany #lol brittany pierce #i hate brittany #that should just be my new tag #bc why be coy about it #my thoughts #long post #negativity tag

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alleiradayne · 6 years ago

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My Favorite (SPN) Things

This is a collection of my favorite SPN moments/things/thoughts for @atc74‘s giveaway.

Favorite SPN Con Moments

I have several Con memories that I will never forget.

MinnCon 2016 - @fuckyou-mavhenan and I got the con bug that year and decided to go to Minneapolis since it’s a half-hour drive from my house. That con changed my love for the show in a way I never thought possible. We had a photo op with Misha and Mark Sheppard, it was glorious.

It was also the year of “A Bowfinned Fish Named Salmon Dean”, with Jared and Jensen trying to imitate what a bowfinned fish might look like.

I took a ton of pictures at that con, but that was before I learned I could rent a better lens so they’re not the best pictures. It was also before I learned how to use Lightroom. And we were pretty far from the stage. But it was an amazing first con.

MinnCon 2017 - @fuckyou-mavhenan returned in August of 2017 and we planned the weekend down to the fifteen minute window with our Silver weekend passes. Except we never planned on any photo ops. In fact, we rolled up to the ticket table to check ops Friday morning and when we saw the very last J2 op, we bought it on the spot.

I learned just how sweaty Jared is that day. After the picture was taken, I said out loud, “Wow you really are sweaty,” because my arm was damp from having hugged him. He apologized for being “gross” and I said, “oh honey, it is so not gross” and he thought that was hilarious, then proceeded to smother me in a hug. I died. It was also glorious.

Pictures from that con were meh. Again, forgot to rent a better lens and still wasn’t using Lightroom, although our seats were nominally better.

MinnCon 2018 - Insanity. Like, just dumb. First, they moved the con to November, which was fucking stupid because @fuckyou-mavhenan couldn’t come up. Then I find out it’s the last time they’re going to be in Minneapolis so I freaked out and bought tickets near the end of February. Gold weekend and a Jared photo op.

Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. And when I did the math, I realized I’d be just shy of 37 weeks pregnant. A couple months before the con I decided to book a hotel room in downtown Minneapolis instead of driving back and forth all weekend (because pregnant). And about two weeks prior to the con, VIP and M&G auctions went up so I bid on both and won both (VIP and a Jared M&G).

And then the weekend came. I was huge. I was uncomfortable, exhausted, and rocking some serious sinus bullshit (because pregnant). But all that ceased to matter for a number of reasons. First, VIP was a-fucking-mazing. Second, I met @atc74. For realsies. In person. And we kicked it together during the SNS. And Rob kissed us. :3

Then there was CUPCAKEPOCALYPSE

I will never forget that. Mainly because I’m still mad my pregnant ass did not get to eat one of those cupcakes.

I guess he made up for it here:

I cannot put into words how wonderful of an experience his photo op was. Every time I saw Jared on Sunday, from the start of his M&G, to the photo op, to his VIP M&G, and at last during his autograph, he either congratulated me on the baby or touched my belly and asked me about her. At least twice he told me I looked stunning and it reminded him of when Gen was pregnant with Tom. I don’t know how I kept my shit together.

And the pictures I took! I rented a damn nice lens and learned how to use Lightroom! I was so happy with how they turned out.

VegasCon 2019 - I went to Vegas for a bachelorette party. I had no intention of going to the con. It just... happened. The bachelorette group kind of wanted to do their own things on Sunday afternoon because we all paid a lot of money to go out there and the bride-to-be was super cool about it. So when I had nothing to do, I caught a cab to the Rio and figured I’d just browse the vendor room. My VIP liaison from Minneapolis was also there and so I met up with her to chat a bit, which was rad.

And then I ended up with a wristband. I won’t say how, but I did. It took me about half an hour to realize that, with a wristband, I’d be able to go buy a photo op or autograph. I was immediately pissed because Jared’s op had just wrapped and I so very much wanted to talk to him again, but all of his ops (solo or otherwise) were sold out. So at least I didn’t miss out on that.

But I did end up with a Rob & Rich op! I told them that the last time I’d seen them was in Minneapolis back in November in VIP and I was about to say “when I was pregnant”, but Rob said, “YES. YOU WERE PREGNANT. How’s the baby?!”

Ya’ll, I died. Rob is amazing.

I have more favorite con moments. But these are the ones that stuck out.

Favorite SPN Tumblr Moments

I have to admit, I’m a terrible member of the fanfic community on Tumblr. I hardly ever read fic. So, the only thing I’ll mention about fanfic is how grateful I am for the people that have taken the time to read, reblog, and comment on my work. I cannot thank you all enough (and ya’ll know who you are).

One of the slightly embarrassing things about the SPN fandom on Tumblr is how much you asshats have outed me and my thirst for Jared. I’ve been live blogging this season (and a bit of last season) and whenever I comment about how much I love Sam/Jared doing pretty much anything ya’ll gotta reblog THAT post. Thanks for that.

But the most amazing thing I cannot put into words is how awesome it was to meet people from this fandom now. @atc74, @sis-tafics, @saxxxology, @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms, @from-trista-with-love, @samsexualdeancurious, and @emptywithout, it was wonderful meeting you all. (I hope I didn’t miss anyone!)

Favorite SPN Show Moments/Characters/Things

So it’s no secret that Sam is my favorite character from the show. But there really isn’t a character I didn’t enjoy. Even the villains are epic on this show. And most of them were so wonderfully grey that I could never hate them for long.

I don’t think I can pick a singular favorite moment from the show. There are too many awesome pop culture references, too many awesome guest spots, and so many excellent story lines/plots.

I’m a sucker for lore, so I love things like Sam wielding Mjolnir and werewolves and djinn. I dig tulpas (”it’s notta tulpa”) and enochian brass knuckles and angel blades and Ruby’s knife.

I’m also a huge fan of cinematography, so we when we get those beautiful shots of these beautiful actors’ faces just popping out of the darkness (very much like a Caravaggio panting) I drool a little.

But if there is only one thing that really fueled my love for this show, it’s the damn gag reels. I thought I liked Sam before, but seeing how absolutely dumb Jared is on set intentionally fucking up takes made me love him even more. And I have an absolute favorite gag reel moment. Two, specifically, both from this season:

“Trusting a fart after 40.”

I fucking died.

Also:

@aborddelimpala, thank you for that gifset. I cried laughing so hard at this shit.

So that’s it. That’s all of my weird contributions to this incredibly unique fandom. I love you all and I love everything this show has given us. I can’t imagine my life without it.

#spn

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vegancas · 3 years ago

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i've never considered myself any kind of artist, i enjoy being creative from time to time, but i've never been able to think of myself as being artistic or good at creating things that weren't just imitation or following a pattern/literal instructions, so it's hard for me to read stuff like the tags on this post i made and believe i've done something artistic? like what i've created isn't art it's just imitation or a glorified collage (aka gifsets). like i can understand aesthetics to a degree that i know i can make things look visually appealing, but is that what makes something art?

tbc i'm not an art snob, i know nothing about it, i hated the subject in school coz i always felt out of depth with it because *cough*undiagnosed syndromes*cough* (there were not enough rules in art for me, hence why i liked math and science), but i have to wonder if i judge myself to harshly? can i call myself arty if my preferred forms of creation are origami and gif making and now also embroidery when 2 out of 3 of those things are just following a pattern/instructions and the other 1 half the time is just slapping some text on some moving images? (yes, a lot more goes into gif making but it's technical skill/knowledge not artistic ability)

idk i'm getting brain worms reading tags on my gifsets that say stuff like 'this is beautiful/stunning/pretty' or whatever and i haven't been able to reconcile what i've always thought of myself with what the tags imply... coz it's like yeah i put it all together like that i did the work but the actual creativity was someone else i just manipulated it and tried to make it look pretty? idk if i'm really getting my point across here, something to do with imposter syndrome i think????

#i should go to bed my legs/feet are so sore from work today and i have to do it all again tomorrow and two more days after that too 💤

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mokofrappuccino · 3 years ago

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a series of disorganized notes to my dead friends

Went through your Instagram the other day. I miss your drawings.

And your laugh.

Your smile, too.

A coworker told me the other day that their favorite subject in high school was math and entered competitions and shit, so I guess you actually weren’t the supreme overlord of the math nerds like I thought you were.

I had a truly awful gin and tonic in Cleveland and I thought of the one I had when we went out to dinner in Minneapolis. Apparently no one on or near the Great Lakes knows how to make a fucking gin and tonic.

Your sister was great in handling all the communication for the memorial service. I hated myself when I was talking to her because I didn’t know if she was your older or younger sister. I couldn’t even remember if we ever talked about her. I don’t even know if I knew you had a sister.

Okay, like, literally what was your deal with penguins? I mean they’re cool I guess, but why did you like them so much? I’m shocked there wasn’t a goddamn penguin etched next to your epitaph.

I wish I did a better job keeping in touch. Like yeah, I was never good at that. And no, obviously I didn’t know our time together would be so short. But ugh.

I’m awful with birthdays, I didn’t even know yours just passed. I saw that a few of your Facebook friends wrote “happy birthday!” on your wall, not knowing you were gone. Man, that shit made me ugly cry for like three hours. Rough stuff.

On the bright side, now I memorized your birthday. Yeah I know it’s like. Too late. But hey.

Visited your grave the other day. Beautiful place, but god, you must be sick of those fucking birds screaming in that tree all the time. Next time I visit I’ll like. Bring a slingshot or something.

God I really do miss your laugh. Kinda cliche, but jeez.

I was on the other side of the world when I heard about your passing. Part of me was devastated I wouldn’t be back soon enough to attend your memorial service. The other part of me was relieved. Not because I didn’t want to honor your memory or anything like that, I just. I was able to put off accepting that you were gone. It was stupid and I regret it. But I was relieved I didn’t have to go. I’m sorry.

And then I put off asking your sister where you were buried. Sorry about that, too. Usually I’m better at accepting things, but I guess this was a challenge I wasn’t ready for.

I’m glad I finally visited, though, and I’ll try to make it a regular thing. But fuck those birds for real.

We’ll keep in touch with your sister. We’ll make sure she’s okay. Don’t worry.

I didn’t bring a card to your memorial, I’m sorry. Honestly, I didn’t think to. But in retrospect, it’s kind of ironic that our last tumblr interaction was me replying to your post about card-giving etiquette, huh.

Every mcr song will always remind me of you. I mean I know like three of their songs but still.

On the topic of music, you went to a shitload of concerts and I’m glad I was able to go to one with you. Even more glad that it was fucking Evanescence.

I rarely make personal text posts on tumblr these days, and I never expect anyone to read them because I deliberately post them late at night. You used to like them sometimes, just this silent little acknowledgement that you read what I wrote and were here for me if I wanted to talk. I’m gonna miss that.

Speaking of tumblr and notes, I can’t believe you liked/reblogged those dumb skimmons gifsets from me. Why would you watch that trash mcu show you’re better than that.

You deserved a better friend than her. We all did, sure, but you two were closer than any of us were. She could’ve done better.

Just a few weeks ago I saw you tag one of your reblogs with your sister’s name. I got curious and searched through that tag on your blog. God, you loved her so much.

Well. Yeah, I miss your laugh too.

That one time you guys visited, we were playing a drinking game at my apartment. 20 questions (slimmed to 5) for whoever drew the queen card — and one of the questions I asked you was how you identified in terms of sexuality. I’m the one who asked. And I can’t remember your response. You were happy that I asked. And I can’t remember what you said. Maybe it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but that’ll probably haunt me forever.

Part of me wishes we invited more classmates to your service. So many people were strangers (I know because they had to introduce themselves to your sister) and there were only like ten people our age.

But then again, your sister sat at our table during the reception and it was just the six of us, laughing about dumb memories and catching up and distracting her from the grief, and it felt good.

I memorized your birthday now, too. Yeah, I didn’t know it before. You’d think this would be an eye-opening discovery that makes me want to go and memorize all of my friends’ birthdays, but it’s not. Sorry.

I set an alarm on my phone for your next birthday. I’ll text your sister and check in with her.

#personal #to add onto

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