#i hate to break it to you but there is one characterisation here that's ooc

[queerofthedagger]

someone tagged their bookmark of one of my merlin fics as "ooc merlin" because it's a magic reveal and merlin isn't a whimpering crying mess begging for forgiveness, and I think with that I have played this fandom through actually

[mesfantomes-marie]

My Favourite TenRose Fics

Fanfiction is brilliant. There, I said it. After years of studying for my PhD in Linguistics and Phililogy, endless nights spent reading Calderón, Diderot and Dostoevsky, I still believe certain fanfiction should be praised and published. It should be remembered.

Quadrophobia by Howlcastle. The Doctor is split in 4 personalities, but not in a creepy James McAvoy kinda way, trust me. I love this, because of our beloved TenRose dynamic. It's well-written and laconic. Novel, Teen (there will be a lot of these in this post, since I'm not a big fan of explicitness in fiction, since it's hard to find something tasteful)

Wolf and the Butterfly by sparrowmarrow. When Rose begins to be plagued by ominous nightmares of the Doctor’s future, a future without her, they realize that something sinister may be lurking behind the exotic stalls of Opifex’s acclaimed market. Oh the Angst! With a happy ending, of course. The characterisation is SO GOOD, darn. Novel, All ages.

Breaking Vows by Molleyn. Ten and Rose accidentaly bump into a parallel version of Rose on parallel Earth at war. Basically, the Doc can't tell them apart and leaves the His Rose there, only to realise his terrible mistake and come back to her 3 months later. Will she ever forgive him? Beautifully written angst with a happy ending. Evil doppelgangers, love confessions and a smidge of well-written smut. Novel, Teen.

Effeuiller La Marguerite Part 2 by whollyuncertain. Angsty and original. Happy ending. Hurt/Comfort. Post ThatDamnedFireplaceEpisode I hate so much it took me 5 months to even CONSIDER reading fixits of. Short Story, Teen

TenToo/Rose

I think it's the best happy ending Rose could've ever gotten. Not gonna lie, it had been difficult and so many fics had dissapointed me in the past. 99% just go in the exact same direction of 10.5 being miserable and as far from 10 as possible. I don't like it. So these fics are the only ones where I feel like Tentoo is actually 'in character'.

Laddie, Lie Near Me by @abadplanwellexecuted. Beautiful. I am a big fan of this author, check out her work. Here, Tentoo is not OOC (what a surprise...) and Rose is not a total byotch to him (another surprise). Short story, Teen.

The Wind By Night by @tripwirealarm. A masterpiece! Told from His perspective, which is honestly refreshing. Angst with a happt ending. Novel, Adult.

AUs

Never been a fan of AU fics before, but I guess falling in love with this particular pairing means you all of a sudden become a fic addict and anything goes. Am I right?

A Place Where We Only Say Goodbye by @weezly14. I cried, but actually it was worth every single tear (cheesy, but heck! that's the way I feel about this masterpiece). So much insight, great character development. Coffeshop AU, novel, part of the Time Loop series, Teen. Did I mention it's slow burn? Gotta love 'em.

nothing happens until something moves by @lauraxxtennant. UniVerse. Professor!Ten / Student!Rose. I had a crush on my German Professor once, it was wonderful. Novel, tastefully Mature.

Sweetheart by @stoprobbersfic. UniVerse. TenRose, Oxford. Read this whilst listening to 'Dark of the Matinee' by Franz Ferdinand with a cuppa on a war mnight in early spring. Romaticize your life a bit. You will not regret it. Novel, part of a Series, tastefully Mature. Warning: mentions of a certain French individual.

A Sun Will Always Sing by @lixabiz. Tutor!Ten / Student!Rose. I guess I'm just a sucker for this particular trope, especially written by someone so talented. What a pleasure. Short story, Teen.

That Home I Find Outside Your Door by Queen of The Castle. Homeless!AU. Last, but definitely not least. This fic just left me speechless. The idea is bloody brilliant, keeps you on your toes 'til the very end. Angst with a happy ending, of course. 2-parter, Teen.

And a bit of a (unofficial) crossover. I love the Harry Potter series and especially the character of Barty Crouch Jr. Tennant in a long leather coat will haunt my dreams forever. So, there's this incredible fic, called Snakes' Nest by elmira777. Summary: When Rose Clifton, a pureblooded witch, had been abducted and forced to marry Barty Crouch Jr, it didn't even cross her mind that this was her chance to save the world. AU, takes place after Goblet of Fire. It's a Work In Progress, which sucks. BUT! And it's a big 'but'. It's so cool! Technically, it's not a HP/Doctor Who crossover, but I just can't help it. Rose here, Rose there. It somehow just works.

And you know what? The best thing about WIPs - you can use your imagination and finish them in your head. Novel, Teen.

[indouloureux]

I left a comment on Just Where Our Bones Will Rest on AO3 but I need to sing praises everywhere on the internet about it so here I am.

Your writing is nothing short of breathtaking. The story of these two people finally finding their kindred spirits is so poetic and gorgeous.

Your characterisation for Eddie is absolutely phenomenal, I could hear every piece of dialogue in his voice while reading. The reader is an amazing character too, a lot of the character notes for her really struck a chord with me so thank you for creating her!

Also the music choices are glorious. 100000/10. Please never stop writing. I was tearing up when the smut hit. Have an amazing day/night 👍

YOU!! i haven't checked AO3 yet so thank you for commenting and reading. second

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! i kinda thought eddie was a bit ooc because he's kinda sweet in this one but thank you!! and the reader — i received hate from her a day after i posted it, SO IM GLAD YOU LOVED HER. i tried my best to write her as everyone else so i'm happy you loved her :(

thank you, i love you. i won't be stopping anytime soon but i am on a short break <333

[rollychan]

Okay, turns out I have more to say about the first Loki series episode already.

But first a preface/disclaimer: 1) I welcome all opinions if they’re stated respectfully / without any insulting of or jibing at others or other groups of fans (I mean it, any “some fans *rollyeyes*” will get you a swift block and Idgaf which side you’re on, I have no time for that bullshit) 2) I am a mere unintelligent trashcan of a person and also my native language isn’t English so excuse me if my thoughts here aren’t deep or intelligent enough or thought through. They are my own, though. 3) These thoughts will NOT be very organized. I apologize in advance.

Thoughts under the cut.

The TVA and Dystopian Themes

The first point I’d like to make is that the first episode gives me major classic dystopian vibes just set in a very bureaucratic world. I will explain why:

1) The fact that Loki is arrested for time crimes he wasn’t even aware he is committing and that are decided on by some mysterious few authorities nobody ever seems to see.

Let me expand on this. It feels very much like it’s another powerful dictator-like power, like Big Brother from 1984, like the ten world leaders from Brave New World. They dictate how things should be. They decide on exactly the one timeline that they allow to exist and any variance from that is punishable by death. In 1984, you had the Thought Police and an arbitrarily chosen enemy you had to hate that changed from time to time and everyone had to follow those changes, in Brave New World, it’s a bit trickier, but basically, people were genetically modified (was it before birth? I can’t quite remember that well the details of it) and pre-determined to be in one of three (or four? it’s been years if not a decade+ since I last read the book) classes by deciding on their intelligence and other factors. Pre-determination, rigid behavioral rules, no straying from the decided upon social norms. That’s what they all have in common. Not to mention the brainwashing. “War is Peace / Freedom is Slavery / Ignorance is Strength” anyone? The TVA might as well get such a slogan for themselves. The people working for the TVA all seem very brainwashed. The guy at the desk that stowed away the Tesseract grew up behind the desk, for godssake, he doesn’t even know what a fish is. Just like people in Brave New World are brainwashed from their birth.

“A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive of political bosses and their army of managers control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.” (Brave New World)

The TVA, like the people in the Brave New World, want there to be no conflict (forced happiness is the thing in BNW). They believe in what they do, and Mobius is actually very much a product of that. He believes he is doing the right thing. He believes that getting a Loki variant on his side will solve the problem the TVA are facing with the other Loki variant they are chasing. He will do anything for this goal, but he does have a different idea from the other characters we have met so far. They don’t think a Loki variant will help, but they are still all working towards the same goal.

And, I mean:

“You will be lifted clean out from the stream of history. We shall turn you into gas and pour you into the stratosphere. Nothing will remain of you; not a name in a register, not a memory in a living brain. You will be annihilated in the past as well as in the future. You will never have existed.” (1984)

I get major 1984 vibes here.

(I do think that Mobius might change his stance towards the TVA throughout the course of the series and I think he’s an interesting character to follow. But in the beginning, he’s still wholly entrenched. Him having a different opinion from the rest of the TVA does look like some foreshadowing though.

I have seen some people say the TVA is framed positively, which I respect as their opinion, but I don’t agree. I have seen nothing that cements in stone they’re the good guys here (there are some scenes I view as neutral and Mobius’ introduction I view as framing him as not totally evil, not the whole TVA as good). If anything, I get the feeling they are very powerful dictators and Loki caved because he realized how powerless he truly is there. But I guess that could be just me.)

2) Nothing is explained to Loki. There is no instance that acts in Loki’s defense. In fact, from what we have seen, there is usually no way anyone accused of time crimes can influence the court verdict. It is entirely one-sided and pre-determined unless someone from the TVA wants them alive.

Like, that is a major indicator of something being very very fishy here. No one who has a shred of morality will think that is just. Everyone accused of a crime has the right to a fair process, to a defense, to an appeal. Nothing about this process is fair. Everything about this process screams dystopia to me.

Loki isn’t even treated with dignity like every fucking criminal still has a right to in democratic countries. Getting the clothes lasered off without a warning? Would be a major human rights violation. Getting dragged left and right and dropped through floors? Major human rights violation.

This is, partly, played for laughs, but also not entirely. Loki does realize how little power he holds in that place and that moment is played seriously. It’s dictatorian, it’s unjust, it’s rigid.

3) People are arbitrarily erased / killed (”reset” is the term they use, I believe? When they use those glowsticks?)

For things like refusing to take a ticket and then having no ticket. When nothing is explained to them before.

The court process is a joke. It’s a farce, they go through some (not even all) standard motions of court preceedings but there is 0 chance for the accused to win. It’s all an illusion, as Loki so correctly points out. Nobody questions it but him, but it very much is all an illusion, a mask for the dictatorship underneath.

I’m, like, 80% sure the ticket bs is there so they don’t have to deal with everyone and can get rid of the annoying variants before they ever reach the “court”.

Basically, I think the TVA are supposed to be dystopian. It fits right in. (There is so much more in my brain but currently I lack the words to express it)

Loki and Continuity

The first half of the episode feels very over-the-top. There is so much over-acting going on with Tom Hiddleston that I don’t understand. He feels incredibly OOC in that first half (save for a couple moments, perhaps). The panicky fumbling for the ticket after he saw another variant being “erased”? That’s so much NOT Loki it’s not funny. I can overlook the thing about signing the papers that are supposed to be “everything he ever said” but some things are so OOC they are not even in the same universe as Loki’s original characterisation (of the T1 & Avengers 1 Loki) is anymore. That ticket fumbling moment, for example.

They did go over basically all his life in that scene with Mobius (though Mobius was absent for a bunch of it). Those emotional moments were raw and IC, in my opinion (the way he reacts to his own death - btw, anyone reading this before watching the episode: they show the IW death scene and while the moment he dies happens while the camera shows Loki’s reaction to it, you can still hear the audio of it, so beware!) I think that moment he breaks down is well-done. And it’s in that vulnerable state that Mobius finds him and gives him the final manipulative push to tell Mobius what Mobius wants to hear.

If they pick up on these themes - the dystopian dictatorship that the TVA are in reality and Loki having to come to terms with never being able to turn back and freedom vs. determinism (chaos vs. rigid order?), it can turn out to be a decent show.

I have way more thoughts but I’ve already spent way too much time on this so here you go.

[zombiequincy]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela     AGE: 21       CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. 

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry) 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise ! 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare 

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !! 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!! 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation. 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people. 

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @bazzardburner​ cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu​ @blooming5th​ @viciousvizard​ @glacies-tempestatem​ and whoever else wishes to do this!!

[kittyprincessofcats]

MCU movies ranked by how well-written Loki was

Well, one person did tell me to post them, so here we go. This list ranks the 6 MCU movies Loki appeared in - solely based on how well-written he was. This list disregards how good/bad I thought the movie was otherwise, and also doesn’t factor in how well the story treats the character - it’s based just on how much I agree or disagree with Loki’s characterisation. (In other words if he gets brutally murdered or treated like shit by his family, that doesn’t necessarily mean he himself was ooc.) Also, this is of course just my opinion and very much up for debate :)

This ended up getting kinda long, sorry - I just really like talking about Loki :D

ALSO THIS LIST CONTAINS ENDGAME SPOILERS

6th Place - Thor: Ragnarok

Yeah... Sorry, I know people love this movie, but it really deserves last place on this list. Now, to be fair, I didn’t completely hate how Loki was written here, there definitely were some nice moments (”I’m here”), but overall I felt like the movie played Loki’s trauma for laughs to much, made him the butt of a joke too often and didn’t make him stand up for himself like he did in his previous movies - which is one of the things I liked most about him. I also didn’t like that the movie tried to retcon him into someone who’s been hurting Thor his whole life, or that they made his “redemption” involve forgiving Odin. And even though this movie is praised for its “anti-colonialism” message, it really fails to address that Loki was one of the biggest victims of Asgard’s colonialism and that Odin never really changed his ways after banishing Hela.

And beyond that, I just felt like there was something slightly “off” about how Loki was written here. It was his first time back on the big screen in 5 years, and somehow it just didn’t feel like the same character anymore. Ragnarok was the only movie Loki was in where I went out of the cinema and didn’t feel the need to read tons of fanfic about him. At first I thought it was just because I’d moved on in those 5 years and wasn’t as invested in his character anymore - but then Infinity War happened and (despite killing him off) absolutely nailed Loki’s characterisation and brought my love for him back full force. And that’s when I realized I hadn’t moved on - Ragnarok just hadn’t gotten Loki right.

5th Place - The Avengers

I initially wanted to place this higher, mainly because it’s such an iconic movie (that I really like) and because so many of Loki’s most iconic and well-known lines are from this one. Tom absolutely plays the sassy, charming but vulnerable trickster to perfection here. Then why is is to so low on my list? First of all, because I feel like there was a giant personality shift for Loki between this movie and the first Thor. Loki has previously stated that he never wanted the throne (of Asgard) and now he suddenly tries to conquer earth and we’re not really meant to question it.

Now before you all say it - Yes, I’m aware that Loki was tortured by Thanos between this movie and the last one. And while the movie doesn’t explicitly tell us that, I think between him looking like hell and limping in his first scene and his scene with The Other (”He will make you long for something as sweet as pain”), the implications were clear enough. Plus, there’s the whole revelation that the mind stone influenced his thinking. So yes, I think his personality shift is understandable - BUT I wish the movie itself had made that clearer instead of leaving it to fans to connect the dots and understand why Loki is acting so different now.

And lastly, I don’t like his “mewling q**m” line to Natasha. I think it’s incredibly misogynistic on the writers’ part (ahem... Joss Whedon again), and it’s also incredibly ooc for Loki, who subverts gender roles, is genderfluid himself if we go by the comics, and has always been shown to respect women, especially his mother. So I don’t feel like using gendered insults is something he would do.

4th place - Avengers: Infinity War     

Yes, the scene was horrible. Yes, it broke my heart and made me angry at the Russos. No, I don’t have the desire to rewatch it. BUT the one thing I do have to give this movie credit for is absolutely getting Loki’s character right. This was the movie that reawakened my love for Loki after Ragnarok failed to do so. Tom’s acting throughout this scene is brilliant and heart-wrenching and the dialogue features some of my favourite Loki lines. I mean: ”For one thing, I’m not Asgardian - and for another, we have a Hulk.” “The sun will shine on us again.” “You will never be a god.” Loki finally acknowledging himself as “not Asgardian” and “the rightful king of Jotunheim”? Loki repeating “We have a Hulk” - symbolizing that he’s on the same side as the Avengers now? Loki looking his biggest fear in the eye and choosing to sacrifice himself for his brother? GOOD SHIT. That’s some good shit right there!

Even Loki attacking Thanos with a butter knife isn’t necessarily ooc - He didn’t do it because he thought it would work, he was simply out of ideas and decided to distract Thanos and save Thor. He knew he would die. And if you tell me that wasn’t absolutely heroic then I don’t know what is. Though I do agree that the writers (not just of this movie, but of all of them) seem to have forgotten all the powers Loki is supposed to have and I’m also annyoed that they just make him stab people instead. And also, I don’t like that Loki calls himself “Odinson” in this scene. Forgiving Odin shouldn’t be a part of his redemption, bla bla, we’ve been over this. I like to headcanon that that part was more meant for Thor than Odin.

3rd Place - Avengers: Endgame

I know what you’re thinking - Does Loki even have enough screentime in Endgame for it to be on this list? And yeah, good point. It’s hard to be completely ooc when you basically have two minutes of screentime and I did consider leaving it off the list for precisely that reason. But, I mean COME ON. I just had to give a shout-out to how absolutely iconic those two minutes were. Imitating Cap? Sarcastically waving at the Hulk from the elevator? Dramatically rolling his eyes when Thor mentions Odin? Grabbing the tesseract at the first chance and just noping out of that horrible mess of a movie? ICONIC. Two minutes of screentime and he somehow stole the show. When could your fave ever?

2nd Place - Thor 1

This is the movie that made me fall in love with Loki in the first place, so obviously it had to be high on this list. The way he was written (and acted) here was absolutely beautiful, his story is heartwrenching in all the right ways, he makes all the wrong choices but as a viewer you understand why he makes them. He’s presented to us as this outcast who doesn’t quite fit in, who’s always in the shadow of his brother, kind of gets bullied by his brother’s friends, yearns for his father’s love - and who one day has to deal with the realisation that his life was a lie and that his father resents him for something beyond his control. The confrontation between him and Odin in the Vaults is still the best Marvel-scene ever, hands down.

Fun fact: I literally first watched this movie because I wanted to know “who that Loki-guy is and why people love him so much”. I finished watching the movie and was like “Ah. I get it now.”

My only complaint would be that they deleted all the scenes that explained Loki’s motives and made him more sympathetic. To be honest, I sometimes forget that they’re “deleted scenes” because I’ve watched them so often that I just consider them canon.

1st Place - Thor: The Dark World

Honestly, it was close between this one and Thor 1. I love them both, but while I think the first one is a better movie overall, Loki’s portrayal in the second one is probably my favourite. He starts the movie already disillusioned with his family and spends it unafraid of calling them out on their mistreatment of him. This is the movie where Loki won’t be silenced about the injustices he’s suffered, and I love that about him. I also love how he just replies to threats with sarcasm now (”You’ll kill me? Evidently, there will be a line.”).

I also like that his movie gave more depth to his relationship with Frigga, and also showed Loki being heroic: Helping Thor, never betraying him, protecting Jane, sacrificing himself for Thor. In fact, I stick by what I said before: Loki wasn’t a villain in this movie. There isn’t a single evil thing that he did in this film. NOT ONE.

I also love how this movie makes Odin’s hypocrisy more evident than ever (Telling Loki they’re not gods and that he shouldn’t think himself above Midgardians, but telling Thor he shouldn’t date Jane because Midgardians are “goats”... You get the idea). I also like the contrasts painted between Odin and Loki and how they think about Thor’s relationship with a mortal - Odin tells him he shouldn’t date Jane because she’s “beneath” him, Loki tells him he shouldn’t date Jane because she’ll die one day and that’ll break his heart. And that’s just one of the many contrasts between them in this movie.

And THAT ENDING! Thor getting his only bit of good parenting ever and it was actually Loki - Loki still being alive - Loki sitting on that throne. HELL YES.

(I seriously don’t get how people thought that ending meant Loki was evil? Hello?? He just freed Asgard from a totalitarian dictator? Last time I checked that was a good thing? Have some people not gotten the memo that Odin’s evil? This movie in particular was very clear about that.)

My other rankings: Thor | Steve Rogers | Natasha Romanoff

[cheloucas]

safety (1.9k, missing scene - post ‘C’est personne’)

Description: Eliott spends the evening thinking.

[disclaimer. We’ve not seen loads of Eliott yet, and certainly not an Eliott during one of his low points. So this may end up, in retrospect, as completely OOC. With regards to Lucille, she has not said a word yet, so her characterisation is purely speculative. Hope y’all enjoy, and it’s not proofread at all, so apologies in advance! And I love feedback, don't be scared to leave it!].

 ---------------------------

He was so convinced that this would be a good day.

There are three marks on Eliott’s ceiling. One looks like a chip in the paint. One is a long line, maybe a crack, shooting outwards from the light fixture in the center. The other is a smudge that kind of looks like a duck on water. Or it did earlier, when it was brighter. It’s dark in here now. He didn’t bother turning the lights on when he came in.

It’s been hours, then, that he’s spent staring numbly at the ceiling. Good to know.

On the bed next to him, his phone jingles, the screen lighting up. It’s been doing that all afternoon, but he doesn’t look. Not even at the message previews.

His eyes feel raw and puffy. He hates himself for crying, but there’s no point fighting it, not when there’s nobody here to see anyway. The awful hollow feeling has been festering inside him since the end of school. If he indulges it, lets it wash over him, maybe it will pass. Even on the bus home there had been tears threatening, but he’d held them off, clenched his jaw and put his headphones in.

Lucas won’t leave his head. And neither will the overwhelming sense that he’s been a fucking idiot. You see, Eliott had entered that courtyard with a plan fully formed. It had taken days to work out what he was going to say, and another one to work up the courage to actually say it. It was supposed to happen like this –

“Salut!”

Lucas would turn, face breaking into a lovely smile. “Salut.”

Eliott would hold out the scarf. “You forgot this, the other day.”

“Oh, thanks!” Lucas would say gratefully, taking the scarf and wrapping around his neck. “I was wondering where it was.” Then he would turn to his friends, if they’re there. Probably. They do seem to move in a pack. “Guys, this is Eliott, he’s new. We hung out last Friday and he gave me all those beers for the party.”

“Cool, man,” one of them might say. Maybe the good-looking black guy, open-faced and friendly. “Looks like we all owe you a drink, then.”

Eliott would smile back at them, but especially at Lucas. “It’s no big deal. In fact, what are you guys doing tomorrow? I have so many more beers at home, I can’t drink them all myself.”

They would exchange numbers and make plans to hang out, drink and smoke, maybe, and after he’s said goodbye and disappeared down the hallway, Eliott would whip out his phone and text Lucas. The first text of what was bound to be many. Maybe you could play the piano for me again?

– only, that’s not what happened. Not even close. The plan goes to hell straight away, because Lucas is making out with Chloe in the middle of the courtyard. Eliott does a slight double-take at that. Isn’t she the same girl that Lucas had called clingy and annoying several times last Friday? He doesn’t look too annoyed by her now.

So Lucas isn’t single. That’s fine. It doesn’t change anything. Eliott’s not single either, after all. They can still be friends. He could be friends with all of those boys. They must be nice people, if a sweet guy like Lucas wants to spend time with them.

Eliott hangs back until Chloe has gone before approaching. That’s when everything else goes wrong. Instead of looking pleased to see him, Lucas is like a rabbit in headlights.

And it’s not even his scarf, apparently.

“You found it in the common room?” he says, looking at Eliott with unfamiliar, empty eyes. His voice sounds tense and unnatural. “Merci, mec, c’est cool.”

Eliott falters, feeling stung and slightly wrong-footed. Lucas knows his name. Lucas knows his address, his music taste, and his spirit animal. There’s something else going on in this exchange, something he doesn’t understand. Why is he acting like they didn’t know each other? They hung out for hours last week. Smoked, drank, listened to music, talked and talked and talked. Lucas had admired his drawings. Lucas had played piano for him. There had been a tension underlying the whole evening, thrumming with the potential for something, even if it wasn’t anything yet. It was magical. He probably would have felt high even without the weed.

(Lucille hadn’t been thrilled about that particular detail. It had taken less than two minutes, from the time he greeted her with a kiss outside the building, for her to ask what he had taken and how much. He admitted to the smoking. But he couldn’t tell her that he was grinning from ear to ear because of a beautiful boy.)

The boy in question is still looking at him with wide, meaningful eyes. Eliott searches his face. Is Lucas… embarrassed? That Eliott is talking to him in front of his friends? Well, then.

He smiles at them, just like he planned to, but it feels empty. “De rien, mec. Salut.” And he walks out of there as quick as he can, paranoia already bubbling up.

It’s so tiring, having to constantly second-guess himself, interrogate his own thought processes.

No. They had definitely connected, last Friday. That had been real.

A scraping noise brings him back to himself. Keys jangling, turning in a lock, and then someone calling his name.

“Eli?” The voice is sharp, panicked. It penetrates the fog around his brain a little, but he can’t bring himself to get up.

“In here,” he mumbles.

A flick of the light switch, and Lucille appears in the doorframe, face creased with anger and worry. But it falls away as she catches sight of him, splayed out on the bed with red-rimmed eyes, bringing up on arm to shield his face from the sudden brightness.

“You stopped answering my messages,” she says, hesitantly. “It’s been hours. I thought something might have happened.”

Eliott squeezes his eyes shut tight for a second, and then stares up at the ceiling again. It takes him moment, but he forces it out. “I’m okay.”

Lucille steps closer to the bed, kicking off her shoes. “You can’t keep doing this, Eliott. I hate turning up here and not knowing what I’m going to find. Or showing up and realizing you’ve gone halfway across Paris in the middle of the night and left your phone behind.”

He exhales slowly. “Well, I’m clearly not halfway across Paris. So you can stop worrying now.”

Like she would ever stop worrying about him.

It’s quiet for a moment. The bed sinks slightly as Lucille perches on the edge of it, like a hospital patient and visitor. Then, “Do you think this is the start of-“

“No,” he says, cutting her off. “Just… a bad day, I think.” He drags himself upright, feeling heavy and sluggish, and ends up half sitting, half slumped back against the headboard. Lucille clambers down next to him, gathering him up in a tight hug. He leans into her, and they sit in silence for a while, Lucille gently weaving her fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly.

Eliott wipes at his face with the back of his hand. “It’s not your fault.”

“Did something happen?”

He shrugs, as much as he can whilst being held like this. Telling her the real reason he’s been in tears all afternoon is out of the question. “More school stuff,” he lies, hoping she’ll fill in her own blanks. “You know. I hate feeling like I’m back at square one again.”

Lucille strokes his face gently. “Tell me about it.”

“I guess… I thought maybe I had made a friend?” That’s one way of putting it. “But I think I misjudged it.”

She squeezes him tighter. “Why wouldn’t people want to be friends with you?”

“I don’t know,” says Elliot. His voice catches in his throat, and he feels so pathetic. “I’m a complete alien there. People are always staring at me.”

Lucille traces one finger down the bridge of his nose. “Of course people stare at you, Eli. You’re beautiful.”

He doesn’t know if that’s true or not. He certainly doesn’t feel beautiful now, with his puffy red face, tear-streaked cheeks and a nose that won’t stop running. “It’s just like the other school,” he says, and it’s true. “The staring. I feel like everyone knows, sometimes, and they’re all expecting me to snap and do something ‘crazy’ again.”

His phone dings again. The lock screen is a mess of notifications.

“So it’s not just me you’re ignoring, then?” says Lucille, and it’s half playful. She picks up the phone, thumb tracing over the screen.

“You can look,” says Eliott. She knows his code. For ‘emergencies’. He knows hers too, because she insisted they should be on equal footing. He does love that about her. She really wants them to work out, to be together forever. She sticks with him through everything. Forgives easily, when anyone else would have cut ties and washed their hands of him.

Lucille unlocks his phone and begins scrolling through. Eliott shifts on the bed, sliding further down so his head rests on her lap.

“Your mum wants you to call,” she says, lightly. “But I’ll text her instead, if you want.”

“Thanks, Lu,” he says. He means it.

“There’s a lot of stuff about a party tomorrow night at the school.”

Eliott doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t say anything.

“Don’t you think you should go?”

He sniffs. “I’m not sure. I don’t even know if I want to go to school tomorrow.”

She pauses, and it’s the kind of silence he knows well. Like she’s walking on eggshells around him, carefully considering her next words. “If you want to make new friends, you should go to this party.”

“It won’t help,” he says dully. “Standing by myself in a corner all evening. Especially if I can’t drink.”

“Well, I’ll go with you,” she says. “And then you won’t be alone, even if everyone at that school is an asshole who ignores you all night. You’ll have me.”

Elliot’s eyes start to well up again. He blinks rapidly, willing the tears away. “Thank you.”  He sits up and kisses her, once, briefly. “Didn’t you have plans with your friends, though?”

Lucille smiles at him. She really is beautiful. “It’s nothing important.” She kisses him back, familiar and safe, and reaches out, sweeping his hair away from his forehead. “Have you eaten anything?”

“No.” He hadn’t even noticed.

“I’ll cook something. Or we could get those waffle things delivered.”

The tears do spill over this time. He’s so fucking stupid, thinking that he should leave this relationship behind. Taking for granted someone who knows him this well, loves him this much, after so many years. What would she do if he told her the truth - that this time the night before, he was genuinely considering leaving her for a boy who today acted like they’d never met?

Better to put that fantasy away for now. He’ll take the familiar, the safe. If dreaming leaves him feeling like this, he’d rather not risk it.

[silver9mm]

I was tagged (months ago?) by my best bat-friend @exaggeratedspecificity to name 15 songs that I love, and I was really inspired by her emotional stories behind her choices so I thought I’d put a little effort into mine, too. 

But the thing is, when I start thinking back to songs that mean something to me, like super personally...well, sometimes I just don’t want to remember things. I got really sick when I was 11 and now it’s systemic and chronic, and it turned me schizophrenic starting about age 16 and that lasted for another 15 years. Music, literally, kept me alive. It was my best friend, the one thing I could trust. It was how I found validation for the fucked up things I was seeing and the way I felt. It’s how I spoke to the outside world---anyone who knew me then got at least one mix-tape from me, sometimes dozens. I would take lyrics and write stories about my friends with them. I had to go home and get lyrics down on paper instead of going to parties. When I rode the train cross-country, I lugged my 300 disc CD book the whole way, clutched to my chest. I kind of want to be buried with my headphones in but I’m a little worried I’ll wake up from being dead when the battery runs out.

Anyway, in the last few years...basically since I discovered Supernatural, music has taken on a whole new meaning for me. Life in general has changed. It’s better. It’s more fun, more interesting. I’ve found a creative outlet, and especially concerning music, I’m not slathering my experiences, my insanity, my feelings of loss and isolation and paranoia and confusion all over it. I’ve learned how to step outside my little fear-bubble and enjoy music from a whole new angle. So I thought, instead of going through my 130 gigs of music and forcing myself to think about those songs that I love for personal reasons and thus scratching at emotional scars and scabs of my real life, I’d do something more fun for me and pick my 15 favourite songs that exemplify my 15 long Supernatural fics, because since I’ve been writing, my life has improved by leaps and bounds and there’s not a single traumatic memory attached to the experience.

That was really long-winded.

With You by Matt Simons: This is from the soundtrack to Sense Of Life, which is my first published fic. I’m so glad I wasn’t really ‘in the fandom’ when I wrote this, because I never would have had the guts to write it if I’d known how much most shippers don’t like OFC. I would have worried too much about Mary-Sue’ing or whatever whatever. What I wanted to write about was giving the boys something to love, and then taking it away from them, because if they aren’t hurting, what’s the point? So I gave Sam a separated-at-six-months twin sister, and Dean a sick angel, then I gave them reasons to all get naked in a room together, because little did I know, Plot Productive Porn™ would be my go-to writing device. Anyway, looming over the whole fiasco is John Winchester’s A+ parenting, which sets this story up in the first place, and I was so gleefully fulfilled when I randomly heard this song somewhere while writing the fic. I was like, yesperfect.

My job to control you, darling, though I barely know you, hoping you grow tired and start giving in. Spout of holy water pour it on my only daughter maybe there's a shot she'll begin again. So wrong

Lucky With Disease by Elbow: I think this would be Crowley’s favourite band. That said, this is one of my most favourite wincestiel songs and is perfect for Wash It Away---the first fic I wrote, and it shows. A few OOC things, but I just went with what I picked up from the light smattering of gifs that had crossed my dash---I hadn’t even seen a single episode of the show yet. My least favourite fic, but still...it’s not terrible, and I love the dynamic of hurt-angry!Dean and fixer!Sam and Cas falling somewhere in between, willing to do whatever it takes to help. I definitely stuck to the first two characterisations for the rest of my writing. 

Fell like a crippled crow Spinning through and breaking branches I'm in a bad way Call my friends, they'll know what to do

Not as handsome as my brother But I've been lucky with disease

And yes, I'm a better friend Than I've ever been a lover And that's not saying much But I'm not saying much today

Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless: In some different timeline, all I’m doing is writing Megstiel. But Never The Same is all I’ve managed and it’s typical---crazy!Cas and caretaker!Meg, bees, honey. Okay, honey as lube and bees around quivering nethers, but that ‘oh what the fuck okay fine’ sentiment is there that I always loved so much about Meg. 

I had everything Opportunities for eternity And I could belong to the night Then your eyes Your eyes I can see in your eyes Your eyes You make me wanna die I'll never be good enough You make me wanna die

Adolescence by Brown Bird: Rise Above It is my goriest fic to-date, and the sort of weird, sinister nature of this song seems perfect for it. Another wincestiel fic in the same vein of WIA but I think I got the characters down a little better. Dean can’t stand himself and thinks he hates Castiel for caring about him, and Cas, par for the course, makes things worse trying to make it better, but Sam knows just where to dig into the bloody mess to get it all right again. 

So long adolescence of the frightened soul You're entering the ritual Lay down your every fear upon the altar child Prepare to play the man's role

Stay strong the sound of screaming's just the sacred rite Of death begetting new life

We are here but for the grace of everything divine It's the providence that we must find

If (don’t ever blame yourself) by Last Days of April: People who can write early-season wincest are my heroes, okay. Dean’s a different animal now, isn’t he? I’m not even remotely suggesting he’s better one way or the other, just that he’s harder for me to grasp in the first couple of seasons. Harder for me to find his voice, and I can’t even say I really ‘got it’ with The Dawn Breaks...because I don’t fucking remember writing this fic at all. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s dark and dirty and Sam is toeing the line of making himself into the same monster that hurt Dean in the first place, but in the end, he pulls it off.

If it is hard to bear I'll hold the weight If there are things you ain't I'll compensate But you should never blame yourself Put the blame on everybody else 'cause they don't see what I see If no one understands I'll understand

Lovers’ Eyes by Mumford and Sons: ngl, the entire soundtrack for Becoming Less Defined is my favourite song. I fucking nailed it with these songs: perfect combo, perfect order, perfect atmosphere, but this song in particular showcases my particular obsessive trope here. I’m so fucking proud of this ’verse, and I’m climbing the walls to get back to it and finish it. I can’t leave omega-tainted!Dean and Wall-crumbled!Sam and sweet, insane omega!Jensen in limbo. I mean, there’s actual Purgatory to get to, after all. 

Were we too young, our heads too strong To bear the weight of these lovers’ eyes I feel numb beneath your tongue Beneath the curse of these lovers’ eyes But do not ask the price I pay I must live with my quiet rage Tame the ghosts in my head That run wild and wish me dead

Complicated Shadows by Elvis Costello: It’s hard to get Dean alone sometimes, but this song really conjures up that early-season hero that I was talking about before, and writing Turn In Early was supposed to be just a little jerk-off fic, some imaginative Deancest, but because I’m the worst, it’s all slathered in gentle pain. 

Well you know your time has come and you're sorry for what you've done You should've never have been playing with a gun In those complicated shadows Well there's a line that you must toe And it'll soon be time to go But it's darker than you know in those complicated shadows

John’s Star by The National: A reminisce fic, Dean’s B.S., 2001 is a rare moment of self-reflection for Dean, but he’ll only go so far back. I love the idea of Stanford-era!Dean, sidelined, a captive audience, listening to music he probably would never on his own terms, and hearing lyrics that just fucking hit home. There’s nothing explicit about this fic, no overt wincest, but it’s there, especially with songs like this.

I don't ever want you to come home again I don't want to hear your call, your voice in my room I am divine, my arms are stronger than rivers And when you feel that way, you want to feel that way again Forever

Once ruined, baby you stay ruined

Evidence by Faith No More: The sleaze that undercurrents all of Mike Patton’s music is perfect for Dress Me Down, a jealous!Jensen J2/Genevieve blackmail fic, because you can just hear Jensen lying to himself through the music. 

If you want to open the hole Just put your head down and go Step beside the piece of the circumstance You got to wash away the taste of evidence Wash it away Evidence, evidence, evidence Got to taste evidence I didn't feel a thing It didn't mean a thing Look in the eye and testify I didn't feel a thing Anything you say, you know you're guilty Hands above your head and you won't even feel me You won't feel me

Sedated by Hozier: I would normally pick Great Expectations by Elbow for this, but the dangerous, powerful carelessness of this song fits Something To Share just as well. Schizophrenic, self-destructive and self-harming!Sam and totally out of his depth!Dean make deals and promises to each other and I just really, really love this fic okay leave me alone I’m fine. 

You and I nursing on a poison that never stung Our teeth and lungs are lined with the scum of it Somewhere for this, death and guns We are deaf, we are numb Free and young and we can feel none of it Something isn't right, babe I keep catching little words but the meaning's thin I'm somewhere outside my life, babe I keep scratching but somehow I can't get in So we're slaves to any semblance of touch Lord we should quit but we love it too much

Knock Me Out by Linda Perry: Back to my a/b/o ’verse with Between Two Minds, and we find poor Dean, omega-tainted and feeling like he can’t be loved, finally, finally starting to trust his little brother again.

You knocked me out You bit my lip You held me down and kept me sober Through all this time With no regret I guess that's just the way I liked it Maybe, when I'm free I'll realize all he really wanted To share all the peace Something I never wanted So wait, don't go Seems as though it's getting scary So please, don't you go

Feels Like by Buck 65: A song no one will listen to for a fic that no one reads. Dreamy, plinking piano for a fic that started out as a dream. My favourite artist with my favourite ending I’ve ever written. Give Buck and A Steep Fall a chance.

She found the lost boy, eyes that are crying closes Glad to be unhappy, boy gives her dying roses Ecstatic agony and nights of arousing glories Hungry hearts and hands that tell ten thousand stories Open wounds and the one word that filed under Her endless eyes have known hardship and wild wonder Kisses that cure and moments that cured the kiss Under a spell and maybe there's no words for this

I Drove All Night by Roy Orbison: The Mixtape Thing wasn’t supposed to be a fic, but I had to talk about why the songs were picked for the prompt ‘date night at the MoL Bunker’, and suddenly there was a sweet little wincest fic. Yeah, ‘sweet’. My fans were very surprised too. 

What in this world Keeps us from falling apart No matter where I go I hear The beating of our one heart I think about you When the night is cold and dark No one can move me The way that you do Nothing erases this feeling between me and you

Tell Me by Moby ft. Cold Specks: An alternative ending to BLD, But Then Again is the best thing I’ve written so far. J2/wincest/abo and so fucking full of angst and longing and good goddamn is it dirty. I’m so proud of it and myself for pulling it off, and even if I lose two more friends over it (i’m not bitter i’m very bitter), it’s still wonderful in my mind. 

Didn't have the heat I gave you memories Come deeper please I got nowhere to stay tonight Won't you make me stay? Keep your clear eyes on the prize And as I'm there Bring me to your knees

Baby Blue by Wolf Parade: Kill The Lights is the one unfinished fic on this list but I’m so close it counts. Fifty-nine songs to choose from. Five playlists. Over 100,000 words, and choosing one song to represent this brutal MCD fic is easy. Since it’s written from Sam’s POV, some of my favourite songs are the ones I imagine from Dean’s, and this is perfect. 

You're like a fool on fire To the water so blue I will come undone And I will run to you Sometimes we are an open flower Sometimes we are an open wound Sometimes we are a kind of echo chamber, wherein You're all fire and brimstone And I'm all that, too Burning blue for you

LISTEN

tagging @zmediaoutlet @omgbubblesomg @theboringprincess @chiisana-sukima @hazeldomain @indigoneutrino @dreamsfromthebunker  @bruisedmickey and anyone else who wants to do this (and if you’ve already done it, no worries ;)