#i hate that meds to help my brainfuckery require me battling seven layers of Other brainfuckery in order to actually take them. i hate it.
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anyone happen to have that r/Ritalin screenshot handy lmao
#u know the one. ''does it count as recreational use if im not having fun''#i need it for. reasons#<-aka my sleep-deprived dumbass cant remember if i took my meds already today (bc. sleep deprived.)#and now im sitting playing the game of ''can i not focus bc im exhausted'' or ''can i not focus bc im rawdoggin today''#my body's so mad abt how tired i am that the caffeine i Know is in my system (bc of the a Physical Reminder on my desk) isnt helping AT ALL#so im stuck between ''heyo dude yr hearts already beating kinda fast lol u probly shouldnt fuck with it anymore''#& ''fUck me ive got class in a 1/2hr & after that Another (Worse!) class & after THAT. Four Hours of rehearsal. before i can sleep again#so like ofc yr anxious abt all that jazz but like. u gotta find SOMETHIN to keep u moving until u can finally collapse in bed yk.''#jic i DID manage to take my meds when i think i mightve (11? 10:30??) im gonna wait until 2:30 (when class starts) to take them ''again''#but immmMM. Not Pleased#i hate that meds to help my brainfuckery require me battling seven layers of Other brainfuckery in order to actually take them. i hate it.#im worried ill fall asleep in class or be super weird+twitchy bc i feel VERY super weird+twitchy & maybe its just that i need to put more#food in my me (which im fixing rn dw ikik)#but. UGH#i hate it here#gonna give it 15 to see if the food helps & then if it DOES it might be time for More Caffeine Baybee!! bc stabilized insides=More Wake Up!#orrrrr?? who knows. i sure dont lmfao#bee speaks
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