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markantonys · 2 years ago

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crossroads of twilight chapter 15-end

elenia and mellar have so many rude and infuriating and incorrect and evil thoughts about elayne and i cannot wait for her to kick their asses into next tuesday

in mellar’s pov we hear a whole lot of instances of him killing women, because of course Killing A Woman is the sign of true evil and our heroes are good because they only kill men and spare women even when it is a COLASSALLY STUPID MOVE BECAUSE THE WOMAN IN QUESTION IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL AGAIN IF LEFT ALIVE. anyway.

i forgot to say this in past books but i go crazy over the fact that at this stage in the series, egwene has a horse named daishar and rand one named tai’daishar. they are foils!!!!!! (egwene and rand, not the horses. tai’daishar and jeade’en are the Horse Foils of the series, and i miss jeade’en immensely. fuck tai’daishar, all my homies hate tai’daishar. no i’m sure he’s a good boy, it’s just that i'm devastated about what he symbolizes about rand’s character arc.)

egwene has reached tar valon! after leaving for that destination 4 books ago! she thinks about how the white tower is Home. girl you were in the tower for a grand total of, what, 3 months? lmao

egwene is thinking about how she has only bad options in front of her (there’s no way to take back the tower without people dying) and has to pick the one that’s least wrong. the parallels with rand!!! they are foils!!!!

“how long ago had it been that she reached tar valon by that same route [a ship]? almost beyond memory, it seemed. an age gone. it had been another woman who came ashore and was met by the mistress of novices.” “egwene compared the farms they passed to those in the two rivers. perhaps the realization that the two rivers was no longer home made her study them. acknowledging the truth could never be a betrayal, yet she needed to remember the two rivers. you could forget who you were if you forgot where you came from, and sometimes the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field seemed a stranger to her.” 😭😭😭 KIDS GROW THE FUCK UP SO FAST THESE DAYS 😭😭

egwene going “of course i’m willing to negotiate with elaida! my terms are her complete and total surrender 😤” an icon and a legend, i love her

“leane paid minute attention to her clothes since joining the green ajah.” 🙄 not sure which is more annoying, the fact that Being Hot has become leane’s entire personality (she really was the blueprint for min huh?) or the fact that Being Hot is the entire green ajah’s entire personality. the concept of switching ajahs would be so interesting to explore if leane had had ANY motivation for it besides “i want to be green so i can fuck” lmao

from the next chapter: “[leane’s report was] written on thin sheets of paper in a flowing elegant hand. egwene could not see exactly why, but you could never doubt that anything leane wrote had been written by a woman.” passages that make you shout WHAT out loud jkfjgh even leane’s handwriting is Hot, i guess!

a couple of aes sedai have managed to make ter’angreal. dammit, that’s elayne’s thing! i know The Point is that knowledge is being rediscovered and channelers are growing more powerful again, but every time i see someone who can do elayne’s special talent, someone who’s even stronger in the power than nynaeve etc, i sulk. they are my special once-in-an-Age girls, thank you very much!

egwene’s learned how to make cuendillar! did moghedien teach her or did she figure it out on her own? i don’t remember it being mentioned before, and i feel like it should’ve been. why didn’t we see egwene making this discovery? all the interesting things are happening offscreen between books in this portion of the series. we’ve barely seen egwene in the past few books, but of her little screentime, i could’ve used less Sitting In Tents Worrying About Things and more Making Groundbreaking Magical Discoveries.

update: egwene did discover it by herself! moghedien “pointed the way” but didn’t actually know how to make cuendillar

“‘aes sedai should not be making things for...sale.’ salita invested that word with all the scorn of a woman who accepted the income from her estate in tear without ever thinking how it had been come by.” JSKDJFG egwene went for the THROAT the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field IS still in there

“she did not even know where in the world gawyn was, or what to do if she learned. he had his duty to andor, and she hers to the tower. and the one way to bridge that chasm, bonding him, might lead to his death. better to let him go, forget him entirely. as easy as forgetting her own name.” STARCROSSED................. (and once again, egwene-rand parallels! thinking their love interest is Better Off Without Them)

i HAVE been wondering, if egwene bonds gawyn (which she knows she will due to prophetic dream and i know she will due to spoilers, but i repeat that i know nothing else about gawyn’s future besides this bare fact and the bare fact of his ultimate fate, but no clue how either thing happens or anything else he might get up to, so if you spoil me on even the most minor thing about him you’ll be my enemy for life. he’s probably my least-spoiled major character and i want to preserve that!) anyway if egwene bonds gawyn, what will elayne do? who will be her first prince of the sword? poor birgitte’s frothing at the mouth for gawyn to come home and take all those responsibilities off her plate. hey you know who would be a GREAT first prince of the sword? MAT!! altho maybe it has to be a member of the queen’s family. oh, so elayne can just marry mat and then he’s an official member of house trakand, boom, all problems solved for everybody!

aha, following up from our discussion the other week, egwene confirms that “swearing on the oath rod shortens our lives by half at least”

egwene: no one wants to die before they must rand: [looks at the camera like he’s on the office]

there are rumors circulating among egwene’s aes sedai that there are aes sedai under rand’s control. “no one had mentioned Compulsion aloud that egwene knew of, but they had to be thinking it.” “‘i don’t want to think about using the fact that rand may have Compelled sisters. i don’t want to think about the possibility that he could have.’ neither about the possibility that he knew such a repulsive weave, or that he could lay that weave on anyone. she knew it - another little gift from moghedien - and very much wished she could forget how to make it.” damn lots to unpack here! 1) egwene knows compulsion!!! um!!!!!! Yet Another thing i wish we’d seen her learn onscreen (but as always, disclaimer that maybe we did and i just forgot). i wonder if she’ll end up using it after all someday, it’s too tantalizing to slip in that she knows it only for nothing to ever come of it. 2) once again, lack of communication is hindering everybody and making the series twice as long as it needs to be. 3) ever since loc i’ve been foreseeing rand vs. egwene conflict about rand making aes sedai swear fealty to him, and we’re fiiiiinally starting to see it brewing. 4) egwene hates the thought of rand using compulsion and doesn’t want to entertain it, but she can’t help a seed of doubt. it hurts how far apart these two have grown from each other! while i found their relationship in the show un-compelling at the time (going in knowing nothing about anything, i clocked right away that they weren’t endgame so it just felt like the show was wasting my time trying to get me invested in a bland childhood romance) i’m retroactively glad that it was made so much more serious and more loving than it was in the books, bc that’ll make them growing apart later hit even harder than it does in the books (where it’s already hitting me pretty hard!) i was listening to the soundtrack while working the other day and the track that plays when they’re holding hands in shadar logoth made me choke up, that moment specifically is one i’m eagerly looking forward to revisiting after having finished the books. on first watch i was kinda like whatever at that scene but having the context of the books and thinking about how young and innocent they are in that moment and how hard their journeys will be and how far apart they’ll grow, i just know i’m gonna Weep.

siuan straight up thinks cadsuane is a darkfriend LMAO i wish! that would’ve been such a good twist

“eventually they would have to deal with him, somehow. she had grown up with rand, yet she could not allow that to influence her. he was the dragon reborn now, the hope of the world and at the same time maybe the single greatest threat the world faced. maybe? the seanchan could not do as much damage as the dragon reborn. and she was going to use the possibility that he had Compelled sisters. the amyrlin seat really was a different woman from that innkeeper’s daughter.” IT HURTS YOUR HONOR!!! and yet AGAIN rand-egwene parallels, rand being disgusted with himself for using people and thinking that his old self is a stranger to him now are things we’ve seen countless times. people who hate egwene because she clashes with rand are fools and hypocrites who are missing the obvious foiling going on between them. of course they clash! that’s the whole point! that’s what it’s all About! they are foils!

egwene & co all think the forsaken have a huge weapon that destroyed shadar logoth and caused the massive channeling output. rand, please just tell people what you’re doing dear god you’re causing so much unnecessary mass panic! on the other hand, this fear is the impetus for the aes sedai to decide to make an agreement with the asha’man, which to me seems like good progress in theory but on the other hand we know taim and many asha’man are darkfriends, so it may turn out badly. still, aes sedai and asha’man working together is something we do need! in theory!

this also proves the point that so much unnecessary and OOC lack of communication happens solely for plot convenience. like if rand and nynaeve had told elayne and avi what their plan was, as it would be in character for at LEAST nynaeve to do if not also rand (sure he’s trying to protect them, but if he can tell min his plans and BRING HER ALONG ON THEM it makes no sense that he wouldn’t also tell elayne and avi), then they would’ve passed it on to egwene by now and she would know the forsaken don’t have some weapon, so she would’ve been able to placate the aes sedai and no proposal to ally with the asha’man would’ve been made. but since this proposal is likely necessary for future plot, rj had to come up with a motivation of some absurd Forsaken Mass Weapon fear that isn’t even REMOTELY true.

“[too many other places in tel’aran’rhiod] turned out to have eavesdroppers. or bone-deep sadness. she hated seeing what had become of the two rivers since she left.” 💔💔 it’s lame that perrin is the only one who went back to emond’s field bc i feel like he’s the one of the 5 i’d be least emotional about doing so lmao if egwene, rand, nynaeve, or mat went back i’d lose it (tho mat mostly just in the context of show mat with his sisters, book mat i don’t think i’d be too emotional about it)

egwene and avi meet up in tel’aran’rhiod!! oh i’m so happy to see them interact again!! avi comes dressed in fancy wetlander silks (but still with rand’s bracelet) and is then embarrassed and changes them to wise one’s clothes. i can only assume this is because in her heart of hearts she wants to be elayne’s sugar baby.

apparently pregnancy makes elayne unable to use the dream ter’angreal to go to tel’aran’rhiod. rj is making up weird and random pregnancy + channeling rules left right and center. i bet there will end up being some plot point where elayne has a problem that could’ve been solved if she’d been able to talk to somebody in tel’aran’rhiod, hence this pregnancy channeling rule.

“suddenly, [aviendha] grinned. her emerald eyes seemed almost to shine. ‘[elayne] has a wonderful temper sometimes. she threw the ring down and jumped up and down on it.’” fond wife!

“oddly, aviendha took it in stride that elayne was with child, though egwene was convinced the woman loved rand too.” poor egwene, clueless about the avirandlayne throuple. also, i swear on my life egwene was also completely clueless about avi/rand being into each other back when they were all together in tsr-loc?? since when is she aware there’s feelings there?

“egwene would not have thought it of elayne, though! and rand!” why don’t you just fuck gawyn and maybe you’ll calm down

“no one had actually said he was the father, and she could hardly ask something like that” i feel like you could ask that of your very best friend, egwene. i feel like that would be an ok thing to ask. if my BFF gets mysteriously knocked up you bet your ass the first thing out of my mouth is gonna be “who did you fuck??” on a serious note, more fractures in the gang, if elayne apparently isn’t even trusting egwene with the knowledge that they’re rand’s babies :(

fuck i am SO mad nynaeve got separated from elayne before finding out she was Pregnant Out Of Wedlock jkfjgh seeing nynaeve react to that would’ve been SO FUNNY (tho also infuriating, i’m sure - egwene’s judginess here is bad enough! but at least she concedes “the rest of the world was not the same as the two rivers. light, she had come far enough to know that much. she did not have to like it, but she had to live with it.”)

speaking of nynaeve, does she not come to TAR anymore? do the 3 of them not still have standing meetings? because since min is incapable of telling rand about the babies, surely elayne could tell nynaeve in TAR to tell him! Inexplicable Lack Of Communication For Plot Reasons strikes again. or more accurately, for Character Arc Reasons since knowing that he’s gonna be a dad and having that hope for the future and motivation to live past tarmon gai’don would interfere with rand’s downward spiral arc

ah, avi does confirm that they’ve heard from neither nynaeve nor rand. maybe nynaeve is avoiding TAR bc she doesn’t want them to find out about the top secret saidin cleansing mission. which, again, it makes no sense she wouldn’t have told them about. egwene i can see, since she’s so firmly entrenched with the aes sedai as an institution and nynaeve and rand want to go rogue on this mission, but why not have told elayne and avi? god knows elayne is keeping plenty of secrets from the tower already, she would’ve been down to handle 1 more.

upon hearing about the proposed agreement between aes sedai and asha’man, avi’s clothes change into a cadin’sor but “incongruously, the ivory bracley still hung from her wrist although maidens of the spear did not wear jewelry.” no matter how she’s seeing herself, whether as maiden or wise one or wetlander sugar baby, her love for rand is constant ❤️❤️😭😭

“aviendha was in training to be a wise one, and garments or no, she was being a wise one...part of egwene wanted to smile. her friend was changing from the often hotheaded maiden of the spear she had first come to know. another part of her remembered that the wise ones did not always have the same goals as aes sedai...it made her sad that she must think of aviendha as a wise one instead of just a friend.” fractures in the gaaaaang 😭😭😭 also, i feel like a lot of avi’s character development is locked offscreen bc we get so little of her pov. we’ve heard that she’s resumed her training but have seen nothing of it. i want more avi pov!

“if aviendha did not mention it, then the matter was something she and elayne wanted to handle themselves. surely she would have said something if it was anything egwene should know about. or would she? sighing, egwene set her cup on the table...and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. suspicion truly was part of her bones now. and she was unlikely to survive long without it.” EGWENE-RAND PARALLELS and elayne too, we’ve seen this a ton with her since arriving in caemlyn

“‘tell elayne to take care of herself. you take care of her. and her babes.’ ‘i will,’ aviendha said, now in the blue silk.” avi’s clothes changing as she’s mentally returning to her role as elayne’s wife and sugar baby

“‘but you must take care of yourself. i think you use yourself too hard.’...[egwene] was not using herself too hard. only as hard as she needed to.” egwene-rand parallels again! and avi caring for egwene ❤️ if only rand and mat and perrin could still talk to each other and look after each other the way the girls do. i have been saying this in literally every single recap post for the past like 4 books but i never stop being upset about it every time i see the girls staying friends and maintaining their support network and the boys being cut off from every loved one except their one (1) designated girlfriend! rand even has 3 girlfriends but only gets to interact with 1!

there is literally no reason (besides Plot-Mandated Lack Of Communication) why elayne couldn’t have made dream rings for everybody and handed them out! she’s seen mat and rand since learning how to make them and could’ve made them some, and perrin can get to TAR on his own (tho he doesn’t know what it is yet). i want everybody to have dream ring friendship bracelets dammit!

egwene Prophecy Dreams of mat bowling (because bowling exists in randland, nice!) but the pins turn into dead men, and an illuminator is somehow involved. some kind of battle-y thing mat will be involved in that will result in a lot of deaths, i imagine.

another Prophecy Dream of egwene herself being saved by a seanchan woman. i predict this must be either tuon or egeanin since we don’t know any other major seanchan women yet (but of course rj is a huge fan of introducing additional characters at the eleventh hour lmao)

also Prophecy Dream of seanchan attacking the white tower. oh man, they’re gonna get that far inland? no! get outta this continent! the seanchan prove that tweet that was like a single texan is a great addition to any story (egeanin) but more than one is bad news (the rest of the seanchan)

i was convinced mesaana was theodrin but now i think she’s tarna. but whoever she’s revealed to be in the end, there’s a good chance my reaction will be “i don’t even know who that is” because there are 98034985 random aes sedai side characters i can’t keep track of (i had no clue who tarna was until she referenced her trip to salidar, which jogged my memory that she was the representative from elaida whom elayne and nynaeve saw way back when)

dramatically vague discussion between pevara and tarna about a note from toveine gazal that “changes the whole world” but it means nothing to me because i don’t even know who toveine gazal is. edit: a chapter or two later she shows up with logain and jogs my memory that she’s the aes sedai he bonded. she was literally in the prologue of this very book and i already forgot jkfjgh

this is the problem at this stage of the series. too many side characters! too! many! there are like 7 major plotlines going on, and each one has a big cast of side characters who eat up screentime by having their personalities and quibbles with each other gone into in detail (the AMOUNT of TIMES i’ve heard about all the quibbles among egwene’s aes sedai and rand’s aes sedai and nobles and perrin’s camp and the white tower contingent. at least mat’s crew is relatively small and easy to keep track of.) they eat up screetime and yet are completely unmemorable and i can’t keep track of any of them, so it’s just a huge waste of time.

cadsuane pov: “verin knew more about that sort of relations with men than she did - she had never believed in indulging with her own warders, as some greens did, and other men had always been out of the question” verin knows more about. about. oh my god does verin fuck????????? i-

“cadsuane did not think the other sister knew min was bonded to the al’thor boy. she herself only knew because the girl had let too much slip in a careless moment.” MIN STOP BLURTING OUT SENSITIVE INFORMATION CHALLENGE! GOD! and let’s not forget that it would be elayne who would get in by far the most trouble for this since she’s the one who did the weave, so min’s put ELAYNE’S ass on the coals here. next thing you know she’s gonna be telling cadsuane that elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies! goddamn!! early series perrin has definitely passed the “blurting out secret shit all over the place” torch.

cadsuane pov is good because every time she interjects “phaw!” into her narration i lose my shit

but i’m still struggling to see why she needs to exist. she has contributed nothing to the story so far.

we’re introduced to the aes sedai elza (or maybe reintroduced for all i know) who’s extremely loyal to rand. but a chapter later we get her pov and find out she’s a darkfriend. RJ STOP REVEALING DARKFRIENDS 2 FUCKING SECONDS AFTER THEY’RE INTRODUCED CHALLENGE i want to scream!!!!! there is no mystery! no traitor twists! instead i am forced to sit here watching characters be unknowingly surrounded by darkfriends for multiple books (egwene and halima (well forsaken but w/e), elayne and mellar, rand and taim, even elaida and alviarin not that i care about elaida, but it’s the principle of it) which is probably supposed to feel suspenseful but is just frustrating. like, the reveal of natael’s and keille’s true identites at the end of tsr was so surprising and satisfying, more of that, please!

“what was [rand] to do about [min]? about elayne and aviendha?” “was it too late to keep min safe, to keep elayne and aviendha safe?” we are two goddamn paragraphs into rand’s pov and already getting “min!!!! and elayneaviendha blob” i am so fucking sick of this i hate it here!!!

“all he had of them at the moment was a general sense of direction and the knowledge that they were alive. min’s body was pressed tight against his side, though, and the bond made her as vibrant inside his head as she was in the flesh.” I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!! genuinely i think that rand/min makes me angrier than almost anything else in the entire series, aside from the nosedive that is mat’s character development (more on that later). i would rather read an entire book from perrin’s pov than one chapter of rand/min. okay no i take that back. but it’s a near thing.

“without warning, min punched him in the ribs hard enough to make him grunt. ‘you’re getting melancholy, sheepherder.’” because as we all know, the best thing to do if your partner is depressed is to punch them. “[the wound] was not the same side that min had fisted - she was always gentle with that, if not always with the rest of him” i feel like your girlfriend should be gentle with ALL of you, rand. i feel like that would be a good thing for her to do.

“‘you have to do something,’ min muttered, folding her arms beneath her breasts. ‘logain’s aura still speaks of glory, stronger than ever. maybe he still thinks he’s the real dragon reborn. and there’s something...dark...in the images i saw around lord davram. if he turns against you, or dies...’” whoever pointed out that min’s viewings accomplish nothing but making rand’s paranoia worse (butterflydm i believe?), you are SO right. min has no clue what her viewings of logain or bashere ACTUALLY mean, she’s just speculating that they’re bad news for rand, which could be completely off base for all she knows (especially the logain one - maybe he’s gonna get glory by HELPING rand at the last battle, ever think of that?). thankfully, right now rand doesn’t seem pressed about it and just says he has to do what he can, not worry about what he can’t. but i can’t imagine it helps him to have a cassandra stuck to his side foretelling unavoidable doom and gloom 24/7 especially when half the time she’s just making up her own interpretations and misleading rand to believe she knows them for facts!

side note: if anything happens to bashere i’ll kill everyone in randland and then myself!!!!

“the woman carried more knives tucked about her than thom merrilin had. or mat. colors whirled in his head, almost resolving into...what? a man on a wagon seat?” 1) min carries more knives than thom and mat and yet has never ONCE done anything useful with them that i can recall. all she does is flourish them to look hot or stab them into the wall to look threatening (threatening to rand more often than to anyone else). 2) even RAND notes the similarities between min and mat, dammit! mat is the superior mischievous knife-wielding brunette non-channeler love interest for rand! 3) the colors and the seeing what the other person is doing goes both ways! cauthor crumbs! i will note that rand did not have a single thought about perrin in this entire book (all 1 chapter of his pov). just saying.

we see rand seize saidin for the first time since it was cleansed. i feel like this should’ve been a bigger deal. first of all, going into the series i thought the taint on saidin was gonna be a bigger problem than it ended up being, and second of all, i was picturing a really emotional moment of rand feeling clean saidin for the first time, but that just didn’t happen. granted, he still has his other weird saidin sickness going on (triggered by that guy in shadar logoth whose identity i am 99.9999% sure of but hasn’t officially been confirmed to me yet) which kinda cancels out the lack of the taint, but still! in the early books he struggled so much with the taint, it would’ve been satisfying to see him actually........be happy that it’s gone now.

loial is here! and says “you don’t know how good it is to hear you calling [rand] sheepherder, min” which i suppose is a part of the whole “min helps rand remember who he used to be” thing which is absolute baloney because min doesn’t KNOW who he used to be. she met the sheepherder ONCE. where is mat when you need him?? (off in ebou dar having pottery thrown at him by his future wife, that’s where.)

“aviendha assumed that he would marry her, and elayne and min as well, in the aiel fashion. elayne appeared to think so too, strange as that seemed. he thought she did. what did min think? she had never said.” min thinks that she wants you all to herself but doesn’t want to look bad by saying so, that’s what. also, not all relationships have to end in marriage! same thought earlier when egwene was all huffy about rand and elayne loving each other and having babies together while Not Being Married, Oh The Horrors! this attitude is just so obviously a product of the author’s own culture rather than something that makes sense in-universe. the emond’s fielders i can see, since they were raised in a tiny community with traditional values, but i feel like avi and min would be much more open-minded and less set on Marriage As Endgame (and elayne sort of since she knows much more of the world than the emond’s fielders, yet at the same time that was more like textbook knowledge and her actual life experiences had been very sheltered, not to mention that as a person she’s such a hopeless romantic that it makes sense to me for her specific character that she would seek Marriage As Endgame). and yet, even among the aiel with their views on relationships that boggle wetlanders’ minds, they don’t even seem to conceive of a romantic relationship not resulting in marriage. mat was our ONE character who was happy to have romance without marriage, but of course he’s going to change his mind in the end now that tylin and tuon are whipping him into Proper Husband shape. i mean, personally i love marriage, i love when characters get married, i would love to get married myself someday, but i just don’t think it’s realistic that this entire cast of characters with wildly different personalities and cultural backgrounds would all feel the same way lmao

“it isn’t like with you humans, min. you do everything rand asks.” LOIAL JUST ABSOLUTELY MURDERING MIN LMAOOOOO it’s true and he should say it!

“‘it has to end!’ rand thundered, echoed by the crashes in the sky. he had doffed his coat before this interview, and rolled up his shirtsleeves to bare the dragons twined around his forearms in scarlet and gold, the golden-maned heads resting on the backs of his hands. he wanted the man in front of him reminded with every look that he was facing the dragon reborn.” 🥵🥵

“he suspected flinn would fight as hard to hang on to corele as she to him; he was fairly certain there was more between those two than the bond now. well, if an aes sedai could bond a man who channeled, what was to say a pretty woman could not fix on a gimpy old man?” rand says as if that doesn’t happen all the time in this series 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

“davram bashere appeared even shorter than he really was alongside the ogier” short king!

“no matter what you’ve done, it is time to turn your eyes to the black tower before taim splits it worse than the white tower is. if he does, you’ll find the larger part is loyal to him, not you. they know him. most have never even seen you.” logain, that is a very fair point.

on the subject of taim: is he demandred in disguise, or was he originally supposed to be but then rj changed his mind? because i have seen “taimandred” referenced but as of now it doesn’t SEEM like they’re meant to be the same person, and i’ve seen mentions of demandred’s and taim’s original plotlines being changed partway through. if they really are the same, don’t tell me, but if they were originally supposed to be the same but then that was shelved, do tell me so i’m not like “we’re popping the biggest bottles when taim is revealed to be demandred!” and then it never happens jkfjgh

“[logain] knew saidin was clean, but he could not believe rand or any man had actually done the cleansing.” poor rand is busting his ass on the group project and not getting any credit for it. when a bad thing happens everyone assumes he’s behind it even if he didn’t do it, but when a good thing he actually did do happens, no one will believe he’s the one who did it 😔

“did he think the creator had decided to stretch out a merciful hand after three thousand years of suffering? the creator had made the world and then left humankind to make of it what they would, a heaven or the pit of doom by their choosing. the creator had made many worlds, watched each flower or die, and gone on to make endless worlds beyond. a gardener did not weep for each blossom that fell.” damn, rand’s getting philosophical! and depressed!

loial: “even you [rand] can’t face the dark one! i mean, i know the prophecies say you will, but that has to be just a way of speaking.” bless his optimistic heart

rand wants to arrange a truce with the seanchan noooooo babygirl you’ve gotta wipe them out before it’s too late! but then, it already is too late, they’re spreading all through the continent 😔

“it was good to have someone he could talk to about missing faile. [berelain] listened, and smelled of sympathy.” this would’ve been an excellent throuple if only perrin and faile weren’t both so painfully monogamous. but no even then i wouldn’t see any romantic chemistry between perrin and berelain (if she’s being sincere now and really has dropped her attempts to pursue him, then their newfound friendship is so wholesome!) so i think they should be co-spouses worrying about their wife together. that’s the dream!

“wil gave perrin one of those open, innocent looks that fooled so many girls back home” so wil is trying to flirt with perrin, then? bicon wil al’seen! “wil liked too much embroidery on his coat at feastdays” perrin why don’t you get more embroidery on your own feastday coats and maybe you won’t be so bitter

“[medore’s] coat, with its puffy green-striped sleeves, looked odd on her bosomy frame. the daughter of a high lord, she was every inch a noblewoman, and men’s clothing just did not suit her.” perrin quit being a blacksmith to become a member of the fashion police, i guess.

“neald grinned too much since the shaido were found” the two greatest enmities in WOT are rand vs. the dark one and perrin vs. men who smile

perrin is in such faile tunnel vision that upon hearing there are DEAD PEOPLE WALKING in so habor he’s just like “whatever, they’ll have to deal with their own problems, i gotta save faile” jfkgj DUDE

i’ve heard no spoilers whatsoever relating to this, it’s so intriguing and spooky!!! i should’ve paid more attention to the ghost elayne’s maid said she saw earlier in the book

also, another potential positive of the show’s laila addition is that it will make perrin’s faile tunnel vision in this plotline so much more understandable and sympathetic and heartwrenching (tho i still hope the show will give him additional things to care about in his life besides just faile)

oh damn!! Dark Perrin coming out in full force in his desperation to save faile!! oh damn!! and his conversation afterwards with elyas about violence was so well done, and then him sticking his axe in a tree and leaving it there. one of the best scenes in perrin’s entire pov to date.

and now perrin is going to consider allying with the seanchan to save faile. SIGH. no truces with seanchan! no!

“in truth, those silvery leashes and the three sul’dam were the only real lever [mat] had with the aes sedai...not that he really thought about putting those collars on the sisters again. not often, anyway.” ugh mat. what’s happening to you? is this the beginning of him just being fine with marrying the seanchan empress and becoming complicit in the enslavement of women who can channel? this is not MY mat, i can tell you that much. his arc and characterization peaked at him saving elayne from the gholam and since then has taken a steep nosedive.

“‘it seems suroth might have made an alliance with some king,’ juilin reported with a smile over a cup of mulled wine. at least thera seemed to be making him smile more.” unlike perrin, mat IS a fan of men smiling (also, this much-talked-about alliance the seanchan have just made is defs the one with perrin since he’s quite nearby (but i bet he and mat still won’t ever cross paths!!! ugh!!))

“‘most of the settlers seem to have been sent east,’ thom said, peering sadly into his cup. as juilin grew happier day by day, he seemed to grow sadder.” FWHFGHLSFGKLJL THOM/JUILIN RIGHTS literally HOW else am i supposed to take this besides as thom being jealous of juilin and thera

“he needed someone to attract tuon’s ire, someone to make him seem acceptable by comparison” so, exactly what rj did for tuon with tylin lmao

“tuon sat cross-legged on the floor playing snakes and foxes with olver” okay cute! +1 point for tuon

“‘toy doesn’t mean to be rude,’ tuon murmured in that slow honey drawl. ‘he just has never been trained in manners.’” -10 points for tuon. this dynamic truly is just a gross version of matlayne, i’m so mad!

“he hated battle too - a man could get killed dead!” that made me laugh so hard jdkfjgh

“she purely enjoyed the game, laughing exultantly when she pulled him into a trap, laughing in delight when he managed a clever placement to escape. she seemed a different woman once she lost herself in the stones board.” cute again! +1 point for tuon

to think mat could be in caemlyn right now giving presents to elayne who would actually appreciate them 😤 he gives tuon some cloth rosebuds, roses are elayne’s thing! dammit!

characterization update: still makes 0 fucking sense that mat is trying to woo tuon and give her romantic gifts instead of running as fast as he can in the opposite direction

“he had overheard setalle cautioning selucia that he was a rogue with women” still makes 0 fucking sense that mistress anan is having Woman Solidarity with the evil tyrants who invaded her home. especially when she got on nynaeve’s and elayne’s cases for annoying mat back in acos (if i’m remembering that scene correctly which i may not be), why did she take mat’s side against them but not against women who are evil????

i’ve heard something of this before, but here we learn officially about the seanchan marriage custom that calling someone your spouse 3 times in front of witnesses is enough to make you legally married, so mat is now halfway to being legally married to tuon. i hope you guys have been making use of this trope to write accidental marriage fics for other ships for all these years, don’t let me down!

i’m annoyed bc there’s so many memes about mat’s love for lace but it turns out he only acquired that love for lace because he got stockholm syndromed into liking the clothes tylin forced him to wear that he never would have liked on his own. that being said, i’m laughing at the contrast between mat wishing his coat had more embroidery vs. perrin hating on wil al’seen for wearing too much embroidery, just like mat being glad to see a man smile vs. perrin hating when men smile. mat is queer and perrin is homophobic jfkgjh

“[egeanin] was not the one who had to marry the last person on earth she wanted to. a noblewoman, all cool reserve and her nose in the air, when he liked barmaids with ready smiles and willing eyes. the heir to a throne...a woman who spun his head like a top” “oh, burn him, on top of everything else, he was going to marry a woman who could channel?” THIS IS LITERALLY MATLAYNE BUT WORSE!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!! if i hadn’t known spoilers and somebody had given these passages to me earlier in the series as i’ve typed them here with a couple seanchan-specific things removed, i would 100000000% have thought it was talking about matlayne. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

also, the fact that in all his listing of tuon’s bad traits, mat does not once mention the fact that she enslaves people. okay. mat/tuon is matlayne but worse in many ways but especially because his friendship with elayne was helping mat get over his hatred and fear of and prejudice towards channelers, but being with tuon is just making it worse again to the point that (from what i hear of spoilers) he’s not even going to care that the damane system is still in place at the end of the series and he’s married to the woman responsible for it. not going to care or try to do anything about it.

“‘perhaps i will have lace added to your robes if i make you a cupbearer.’ could she still make him da’covale if she married him? he would have to ask egeanin. light, why did women never make it easy?” mat i promise you that making you worry about whether or not they will ENSLAVE YOU is not a General Woman Thing

mat also may or may not have seen dead people walking around, i’m so interested to find out what this is all about!!

tuon is happy when mat puts his foot down with her (“if you’re going to buy anything, it’s going to be here. i’ve had al the exercise i care for this morning.”) perhaps because of the classic trope which matlayne could’ve done better of sheltered royal being glad when love interest treats them like a normal person instead of bowing and scraping?

“even when a woman needed help, if she did not want it, she made you pay for giving it” remember the wonderful character and relationship development of mat saving elayne from the gholam and her sincerely thanking him for it, thus, you might think, putting an end to this sort of sexist thinking mat used to have? i miss that.

“if he left her behind, then she could not say the [marriage] words, or if she did, he would be too far away for the words to matter. if he left her behind, he would never learn why she smiled those mysterious smiles, or what lay behind the mystery.” cool, so LEAVE HER THE FUCK BEHIND THEN god!!!! so many opportunities for him to get rid of her and he just chooses not to for ooc reasons! these are the kinds of thoughts mat should only be having 5 books into an enemies-to-lovers slowburn, not after a few chapters of tuon giving him (and the reader) absolutely nothing! the fact that this romance could have been so well done and compelling and interesting makes the fact that it’s instead rushed and forced and ooc so much worse.

it’s so frustrating that 2 of my 3 #1 favorite characters (mat and rand, with elayne being the one still going strong) are now stuck with arcs and/or romances i hate for them.

but it is kinda hilarious how this book has elayne and egwene doing their own hot girl shit meanwhile both perrin’s and mat’s plotlines are pretty much entirely revolving around their female love interest. feminism? lmao

a woman (renna) escapes with the intent of exposing mat & co to the seanchan, meaning they would all die and/or be enslaved. the good news is that mat has enough sense to order her to be killed when they catch up to her. the bad news is that he’s all “aaaaaaahhhhh killing a woman!!!!!” “that made three [women he’d killed whether directly or indirectly]. never again, he thought as renna floated out of sight around a bend. if i die for it, never again.” good GOD this is one of the most infuriating aspects of the entire series

tuon: “she was trying to betray you. what you did was justice, and i name it so.” +1 point for tuon. actually +5 points because i'm so annoyed about the Can’t Kill Women thing that tuon not giving a shit is a balm to my soul lmao

EGWENE WAS BETRAYED AND CAPTURED BY THE TOWER AES SEDAI AAAAAAAAAHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!

okay moving back to the start of that chapter. i said before that i changed my mesaana guess from theodrin to tarna, but now i’m going back to theodrin - part of why i changed my guess is that we hadn’t seen theodrin in a long time (the other reasons being that alviarin thought mesaana was a sister inside the tower and theodrin isn’t, and that alviarin said mesaana’s disguise had blue eyes and the next chapter tarna was stated to have blue eyes), but she cropped up again in this chapter just before things went bad for egwene. coincidence? i think not! plus, mesaana is a nerd so if she was in disguise as an aes sedai she would totally be brown like theodrin rather than red like tarna. “that fool girl [theodrin] has less brains than a fisher-bird! you’d think she wants someone to find out she’s keeping an eye on romanda for you.” maybe she DOES 👀👀

this is exactly what i mean when i say i want rj to hold back information about secret identities, traitors, darkfriends, etc. more often. i’m having so much fun with this mystery! nobody better spoil me!

“larine [ayellin, a new novice] was almost the same age as [egwene], and a close friend growing up. they had spent hours together, gossiping and practicing putting their hair in braids for when the women’s circle said they were old enough.” i think this is the first time we’ve heard about a specific childhood friend of egwene’s, seeing as she doesn’t seem to have been actual friends with rand, mat, and perrin like she was in the show.

another piece of evidence for our “what causes agelessness” debate: egwene talks about how the kin live longer and “show age like anyone else, if more slowly.” romanda replies “if they channel, they would achieve the look. if they age, they cannot be channeling very often if at all. and neither way could they live five or six hundred years!” and egwene says “there is only one real difference betwen aes sedai and the kin. they left the white tower before they could swear on the oath rod.” which i’m guessing is as good a confirmation as we’ll get that it is indeed the oath rod that causes the aes sedai ageless look.

a random aes sedai is said not to be “interested in men that way” another explicit confirmation of queer people existing in wotworld! and a full sister who is still a lesbian and wasn’t just experimenting as a novice, and isn’t in the man-hating red ajah (she’s blue)

okay so egwene argues with some aes sedai (mainly romanda) about whether or not aes sedai should unswear the oaths and retire, and with others (lelaine and maigan) about whether or not to more or less use compulsion on the asha’man to leash them to the tower (egwene says HELL NO and is horrified and disgusted by the thought, but lelaine and maigan think they should). this + theodrin possibly being mesaana, there are lots of potential suspects for who would’ve wanted egwene captured by elaida’s contingent. a good mystery!!!

“bode’s future would be brilliant. her potential almost equaled egwene’s.” love that for her!! and meanwhile her brother has a future of being complicit in the enslavement of women like her :) i wonder if bode and mat will ever see each other again by the end of the series.

egwene-bela reunion!!! 😭😭 “you carried me away from the two rivers. can you run as fast now?” 😭😭😭😭😭

bode was with egwene when egwene got captured, did bode get captured too???? (rhetorical question) i hope not, but i also hope so because i would love to see more of her and see her become a bigger character.

bashere says the seanchan want rand to meet the daughter of the nine moons, and good thing i know this is a trap and won’t actually be tuon because otherwise it would be SO MEAN to tease me with this possibility of a cauthor reunion in the next book. i wish!!!!

and the conclusion is an emo as fuck poem that rand may or may not have written jkfgh i’m yelling!! love that for him! can’t believe he found time to write a poem.

thus i have made it through what i believe is widely considered the worst book of the series lmao it wasn’t as bad as i’d expected. i definitely think that reading the books all at once rather than as they’re coming out, with years between books, helps the pacing feel not as bad. the faile kidnapping plotline, for example, while my least favorite of the current plotlines, doesn’t feel as dragged out and meandering as everyone said - it’s really only like 5 chapters per book, which is not that much wasted screentime. but overall, definitely not much happened in this book. like 2/3 of it was devoted to showing people reacting to a channeling event that happened in the last book, which is just ridiculous fjgkh it’s going to be hilarious when the show does all that in 1 episode or less

thoughts on the plotlines: elayne’s is by far my fav of the current plotlines, my eyes glaze over a bit with all the minor aes sedai and quibbles between them in egwene’s but i’m enjoying hers overall (and am very excited to continue it because of that cliffhanger), perrin’s pov has always been boring to me and is not significantly more boring nowadays, rand’s and mat’s have sharply declined in enjoyment because i hate their girlfriends and mat’s character direction. but i know matlayne and cauthor reunions are coming eventually, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

#the fact that i could do this entire book in only 2 recap posts shows how little is going on in it lmao #granted this one is quite a long post #wot #wot book spoilers

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mediocre-writerr · 4 years ago

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out of my league [dani clayton]

dani clayton x fem reader

Summary: Hi! I just read your Dani Clayton fic and it is so good! I have to ask if I can request one!? If you are currently taking requests, I'd love to see something were R is Owens younger sister and helps at the manor and with their mother. R is sassy and playful, very much the person who defaults to humor in tense situations (kinda like Owen and his puns). She's the first to meet Dani with Flora and Miles. When R finally realizes just How much she's fallen for Dani she goes to her big brother for help and advice!

*not my gif*

“Ms. Y/N can we take a break please? Owen will be back with Ms. Clayton any second now! We have to meet her!” Flora raises her hand and asks as you’re in the middle of teaching.

You take a look at the clock and back out the window to see a car about to turn into the gate, “Hmm, it’s about lunch time anyway so...last one there is a rotten egg!” And you bolt off running down the stairs.

Flora and Miles rush out of their seats and down the stairs trying to catch up to you.

“Y/N really?!” Hannah yells as you sprint by her and you laugh loudly.

You make your way out to the front and stick both of your hands out for each kid to high five. You see them sprinting towards you, both neck and neck. Someone slaps your left hand you turn and look to see Flora running past your left hand.

“Miles is the rotten egg!” you yell and do a small little dance with Flora as he pouts.

Owen gets out of the car before opening the door for the new au pair, “Why the long face Miles?” he asks as the new au pair stepped out of the car.

She was beauty beyond compare. Her golden locks had you mesmerized as you had never seen anyone so beautiful.

“Ms Y/N cheated in our race!” he exclaims and you snicker at the boys small little tantrum.

“Oh well my sister here is a very big cheetah!” Owen says and you roll your eyes causing Dani to laugh to herself.

“Ms Y/N! Look at how beautiful Ms Clayton is!” Flora is holding your hand and gesturing towards the new au pair.

Dani begins to blush as red as a tomato, “Shh now let us not give away my secret.” you whisper to Flora before shooting Dani a wink which causes her to blush even more.

“Sorry, I’m Y/N Sharma, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” you say extending your hand out to her and she takes it.

The feeling of her hand in yours was soft and filled with warmth. Can a simple professional handshake do that to you? Her deep blue eyes, icy blue, as if you can warm her up from whatever she is struggling with and change her life for the better.

Wait...why are you thinking this about a girl you literally just met?! C’mon Y/N you’re better than that! Think...think, what to do? What to do?

“Pleasure’s all mine, I’m Dani Clayton!” she says and gives her jaw dropping smile.

“Have you owned a taser before? Because I knew a woman who owned a taser. once and she was stunning!” you say out of nowhere as a way to just lighten your nervousness, but apparently you just said something really weird, “I meant because you-you are uh yeah...”

Owen lets out a hearty laugh at your speechless and awkward front, “Wow someone finally made her speechless. I haven’t been able to do that since she was born!”

You quickly cover the children’s eyes before flipping off your brother, “Now if you uh excuse me I have to make the lesson for later today...Miles and Flora you know the drill for lunch.” you start as you walk closer to the front door, “It was really lovely meeting you.”

You headed back to the classroom complete and utterly embarrassed. I mean how did that even happen? You barely know the girl! You sat at your desk with your head in your hands looking at the book The Princess Bride. Something that the kids are reading right now.

The children were in the middle of the book where the man in black runs along the Guilder terrain with Buttercup. After a sword fight and wrestle match with Inigo and Fezzik. It is revealed that the man in black is her love Westley. However, at the end of the chapter they are separated again. You’re sitting here trying to figure out a way to make this chapter a good lesson other than it was an exciting fight because that’s too easy.

“As you wish.” your hand freezes as it was writing down notes for your lesson. You look up to see Dani standing there leaning against the door, “The Princess Bride, good choice. The children seem like ones to like it.”

You set the book and your pencil down, “Yeah trust me it’s hard finding books that aren’t too easy for Miles and not too difficult for Flora. Along with them having very different tastes at least this book has princesses and fighting.” you say and she chuckles.

“What’s your favorite book? And not a book you’ve taught, but your favorite book.” she asks sitting on top of the desk making sure to not sit on anything important.

“Hmm, that’s a tough one I’m definitely a reader. Like I just finished a book about the sun and it was very enlightening,” you joke and she laughs loudly which causes your heart to soar, “But in all seriousness probably Wuthering Heights.”

“I like that answer and not some cheesy answer like The Great Gatsby, which don’t get me wrong is a classic, but too overhyped.” she says and you nod.

“Exactly! Finally someone who understands. How about you? What’s your favorite book and maybe I could get a read on the mysterious American? Trust me I will judge you especially if it comes to books.” you say jokingly and she laughs.

“My favorite has to be Desperate Characters. I don’t know what it is about it, but the unhappily married couple rediscover their love, but I absolutely love it.” she says and you nod.

“Good choice.” you say with a smile, pondering to yourself.

“What does it show you about me, my own woman in black?” she says and your eyes wide at The Princess Bride reference of the two star-crossed lovers. You clear your throat as you feel your cheeks start to heat.

“I’m gonna use an analogy because the kids are learning that. So here’s this, you see this solar system?” you ask referring to the one hanging on the wall, “Here’s Mars the planet of war and here’s Venus the planet of love. The characters in Desperate Characters were on the planet of Mars, but they make their way to Venus. You’re very loyal and when you find someone or something worth fighting for you’d never give up.” you whisper to her.

“What planet are we on?” she whispers back and your eyes widen before clearing your throat again.

“Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.” you whispered without thinking and she smiled, but it somehow looked disappointing.

“Well if you excuse me I’m going to go make sure Flora and Miles are okay, I’ll see you at lunch.” she says and you nod.

“As you wish.” you respond and her smile becomes more and more genuine.

Once she leaves you immediately face palm yourself. You lay your head down on the desk before slamming it lightly.

You hear Jamie’s infamous laugh at the door of the classroom, “You know for a second there Owen Jr. I thought you had game, but you completely lost my hope with that joke.”

“Thank you Jamie! Always a pleasure talking to you.” you respond sarcastically continuing to hit your head on the desk.

“Oh come on Y/N, you know you’re my favorite in here! I just think it’s funny that your brother is so charming and you’re so awkward,” she responds, “Maybe you should take a page from his book. Ask for his advice.” she says before leaving to return back to the garden.

Maybe that wasn’t a bad idea to talk to your brother. There’s something about Dani that you just can’t put my finger on. She’s beautiful and smart and has excellent taste in books. From what you’ve seen in only a day she’s amazing with the kids.

You hate to say this so early, but what if she’s your Buttercup and you’re Westley, but instead of the Prince trying to tear you apart. It’s you. Because you’re awkward and says jokes at the wrong times because you don’t know what to do!

“Y/N, Jamie said you wanted to talk to me?” Owen comes in knocking on the door.

“I need your help! I’m so awkward around Dani! I like her Owen, I do, but ugh I say the wrong things at the wrong time and I don’t know what to do! She’s just so out of my league.” you exclaim slamming your head down on the desk.

“Well lets not do that,” he says, “But you’re going to be okay. I think what you need to do is just keep being yourself, but you need more confidence. Become an alternate version of yourself, be the man in black with a new sense of confidence. That’s how I do it and you can see it worked very well on Hannah.” he says and you laugh.

“Thanks.” you say and he smiles at you.

“Anytime! Now I think you need to get the girl.” he says slapping your arm lightly, “You’re going to be egg-celent!”

“Oh god...” you mutter before going back to write your notes with a new sense of confidence.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

2 w e e k s l a t e r

Okay now you really like her. Everything she is and everything she does you’ve fallen absolutely in love with her. You finally gained enough confidence to tell her that. Miles and Flora finally finished The Princess Bride and they want to turn the story into one of their story times.

You laugh at them rehearsing the scenes holding the books like they’re some type of actors. Dani is sitting next to you and while some of your attention is on the children most of it is on Dani.

The way her nose crinkles as she laughs. The way her dimples form as she smiles. Her blue eyes completely enrapturing you making you fall so in love. She catches you staring and raises her eyebrow up. Well there’s another reason why you’re falling in love with her. You shake your head just smiling softly.

“Oh that was bloody terrible!” you tell the kids after they finish the scene, “Let me and Dani show you how it’s done.” she looks at you quizzically before taking Flora’s book as you take Miles.

You look at her and start speaking going off book to tell her how you really feel, “The planets of Mars and Venus are far from us, but we’re living on Venus. Which is very fitting because you are out of this world and this,” you say before grabbing her hands, “us could be out of this world. I am awkward and I make jokes at the wrong times, but I will be just as loyal as you are. If you’d let me.”

She seems confused, but her confusion quickly turns into happiness at the sound of your confession, “Kiss me.”

“As you wish.”

You snake your arms around her waist and pull her closer to you. She wraps her arms around your neck as one of her hands lay on the back of your neck and the other entangle into your hair. Her lips met yours and you couldn’t believe how amazing it felt.

Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

#dani clayton #dani x reader #dani clayton imagines #the haunting series #the haunting of bly manor #haunting of bly manor

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a-lonely-tatertot · 4 years ago

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Finding Home

First / Wattpad / ao3

A/n: Another one done another one done! A longer chapter than the last, and the wait was because a lot of stuff came up and i didn't have much motivation to post because i was concerned that no one really cared about this so um yeah sorry

words: 6065

Tw: mentions of injuries and blood if there's others please let me know

Chapter 7: One Hell Of an Exit

It had been three days since Dex told him Fitz left, three days since the pit in his stomach had started steadily growing. What hurt the most wasn’t Fitz actually leaving, it was the fact he told Dex instead of him. Some best friend, he thought.

Keefe sighed and sat on one of the cots in the Healing Center. Elwin’s office had become home after a year of working as his assistant. Days went by, mindless and boring; they rarely got kids. Tam and Linh’s class often had the most injuries, sending in at least a kid a day because some idiot decided to go against the rules. But they were gone now, and Alchemy instructors were finally being more careful, actually watching the kids when they had dangerous chemicals, but it left the Healing Center bare. Somedays, as he played yet another round of cards with Elwin, he wished that at least one kid would get hurt so he could do something.

Elwin did his best trying to fill the silence, teaching him new things. But Keefe knew that worry that came off him in waves, that concern that never really left after his coma. It had gotten stronger after Fitz left, keeping a watchful eye on him. Searching for pain that was there but Keefe was just too good at hiding it. No matter how many times he told Keefe that he wasn’t Cassius, that he would always be there, the wall between Keefe’s emotions never came down.

“We should go see the Celestial Festival,” Elwin said, startling Keefe. “It’s next week and we haven’t been out much. I do always love Orem’s lights.”

Keefe hummed in response.

“I think Biana plans on going; we talked about it the other day.” Oh. So that was Elwin’s plan. Make him talk to people again. What was the point of it? Pretend that half of their friends didn’t get the great idea to hightail it out of this hell hole to be normal people for once? To pretend that they actually knew what they were without a war to fight?

“I bet with a little persuasion you could get Dex and Marella to come,” Elwin continued.

“Yeah, maybe,” Keefe whispered softly. Why did he agree? Keefe pretended he didn’t know, but deep down under things, he didn’t want to look at he knew he was lonely. That he missed his friends. So why not take advantage of the few who were left?

The festival lights were insane. He stood with Biana as the council stepped to the stage, her determination flew off her in waves and he marveled at how far she had come. The way she held herself, scars on full display, mouth set, she looked older than he was used to. But when she glanced at him, through the flashing lights, her eyes were playful and mysterious and Keefe almost let out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t completely left and grown-up without him too.

Dex and Marella stood at his left, Dex holding some sort of snack over Marella’s hands as she lit a small fire, letting out a whoop when it just barely toasted. Keefe grinned with them, surprised at how far the two had come with their own fears of Marella’s fire. Biana tapped his arm, gesturing to a patch of grass a little ways from them and to the blanket in her hands. From there they had the perfect view of the light show, grinning ear to ear as they appeared in the sky. None of them talked of who they wished was there, and none mentioned the last time they’d watched the lights. They avoided topics flawlessly that they knew brought too much pain and weaved their way through, making their uneventful lives seem important. Honestly, the only semi-put-together person on that blanket was Biana; unlike the rest, she always knew what she was meant for, there was a fight in her that wouldn’t settle for anything less than a better world.

The rest of them were basically just melting mallowmelt.

Eventually, Biana had to leave, and the others ended up back at Elwin’s with a unanimous vote of we’ve-got nothing-better-to-do. They raided the kitchen and grabbed whatever snacks they could find before climbing the stairs to the roof.

They laid there for who knows how long, staring at the stars in silence. “What do you think the others are doing?” Dex asked into the dark.

Keefe sighed. He honestly didn’t want to know but spoke anyway. “Probably doing taxes.”

“What the fuck are taxes?” Marella asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

Keefe chuckled, “Horrid, horrid things.” They lapsed into silence again, the only sound being the scattered animals roaming Spendor Plains. Keefe always thought the name was stupid, but he’d given up on trying to get Elwin to change it a long time ago.

“I want to go,” Marella declared. Keefe glanced at her, but she was staring at the sky; Dex had the same puzzled expression on his face. Finally, she continued, “I’ve got nothing other than people who don’t want me here.” Her tone sounded defeated and honestly, he agreed.

“I’ll drink to that,” Dex laughed, half-heartedly raising his cup of Lushberry juice to the air in a mock toast. After his new power surfaced people stopped believing he could control it. They avoided him on the streets, they hated the fact that he worked with Elwin. It didn’t matter that he had won a war for them, the fact that his mother had started it and had turned him into something dangerous was enough. He glanced at Marella and Dex, knowing they were thinking the same.

A few minutes passed when, “Then let's go.” It was Dex this time, he had sat up, the others following suit. “They hate that we’re here. That we saved them. They hate that Sophie and Fitz left, their Golden Heroes. We’re the screw-ups that are still here. Hell, look at us. The son of a bad match, a pyrokinetic, and a fucking mystery.” Keefe grunted, he’d been called worse. “We might as well find somewhere to belong.”

Keefe clapped sarcastically but he could already feel the addicting buzz of adrenaline in his veins. “Well said, fellow outcast,” he laughed. “But if we do this we’re not leaving quietly like the others.”

Marella nodded a grin taking over her face as she stood. “Buckle up boys, we’ve got one hell of an exit to plan.”

Around 1 am (Keefe thought it was one am, he didn’t actually know at that point), Elwin came out with a plate of snacks. Keefe didn’t have time to register what half of the things were when his attention was brought back to the sheet where he had sketched up the layout of a building—that Marella was marking exits on. Dex watched them, laying on his stomach with his chin resting on a pillow and messing with his device.

At some point they had moved inside, spreading along the couches, their ideas scattered in a chaotic order. Keefe didn’t quite remember when Elwin said he was going to bed, too wrapped up in whatever the others were saying to him. He glanced at the clock; its ticking hands read 4 am. He smiled around the room, Marella sprawled dead to the world asleep on one couch, Dex on the other sitting in a curled ball messing with something that Keefe couldn’t see. Right then, as he sat with his back against the wall and eyes drifting, Keefe couldn’t think of anyone else he’d want to leave with.

Keefe paced Elwin’s office like a mad man. He couldn’t sit still, not with the buzzing and churning in his gut. When Keefe would let out a heavy sigh Elwin would glance up smile lightly before going back to his work.

“You know,” Elwin said softly, after Keefe’s fourth round of the Center, “I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to do when you leave.” In surprise, Keefe looked up to find Elwin with watery eyes. Keefe halted and stared, shocked, to say the least. The realization of how much he meant to this man who had taken him in after everything he had done when his own father didn’t want him. He didn’t quite know what to say, he wasn’t used to this raw emotion that came off of Elwin in waves. Finally, Keefe’s face melted into a sad smile.

“You’ll be okay without me,” Keefe said, for once sincere. A beat of silence passed where Keefe could practically feel Elwin trying to think of something to say without crying. Without Keefe crying, cause Keefe really didn’t like crying. “Plus,” Keefe smiled to try and break the tension, “You and the other parents can have weekly get-togethers about how much you miss our annoying little faces!”

Elwin let out a harsh laugh, “Yeah I guess we can.” Suddenly Keefe found himself wrapped tightly in Elwin’s arms. It still took him a second to remind himself not to tense up, that it was Elwin’s way of saying “I love you.” He felt tears welling in his eyes from the thought that it was real, that he wouldn’t see Elwin for a long time. He buried his head in his father’s shoulder and fisted his hands in the back of Elwin’s shirt.

“I’ll miss you,” Keefe said finally, willing his voice not to crack.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Elwin reassured. “We’ll be okay. You need this, and when you’re ready you’ll come back home.”

Reluctantly, Keefe pulled away, “What happened to me reassuring you?”

Elwin laughed, “We both know I’m much better at the reassuring.”

He smiled at that. Yeah, maybe he’d miss this place, but he had a whole world to rediscover. A rustle of paper coming from under the door jostled him out of his thoughts. It was from Dex, his cue to get moving. In small words it read:

“headed to the meetup point, all devices ready on schedule - TM"

Keefe grinned and turned to Elwin, "That’s my cue! See you tonight, Dad.” He let the title slip out, Keefe had never called him that before except in his head. Before he could see Elwin’s reaction he turned and was out the door.

Weaving his way through the deserted corridors, he found his way out of Foxfire to the courtyard, running to the leap master and hastily yelling out for Marella’s house.

He arrived to find Marella already waiting for him outside, duffles around her. “You ready?”

With a nod, they grabbed the bags and headed to the leap master, places to be. A minute passed and all three of them, Dex, Keefe, and Marella, found each other standing outside Biana’s office door. Getting in was the easy part, since Biana was gone the house was empty.

“You ready?” this time Dex asked, Keefe was confused about why, after the night they’d had and the plan they’d put together, they’d think to back out. “After this, there’s no turning back,” Dex said, eyes drifting to Keefe and Marella.

Marella grinned, all teeth. “Come on boys, we hit the point of no return the minute we decided to leave.” Promptly, she stuck her lock picks in the hole and twisted them around until they all heard a faint click. It was Keefe’s turn to grin as Marella swung the door open and marched her way in. He followed, placing the duffles in the center of the room, Dex came after him and whistled at the flamboyant decor.

The far wall was almost entirely glass, sun streaming in and lighting the entire room. A desk sat with trinkets and papers scattered. The wall where they entered was covered in bookcases. There was a small nook that wasn’t covered in poorly organized books. A dark wood frame surrounded a drawing that Keefe had given her; it was of the entire crew, a sort of sequel to the one he had given to Sophie all that time ago. They had been laying in her room after the twins left, a week before Fitz would too, and they had both confessed that they missed them. Sophie, Tam, Linh, how rarely the entire team would get together because they had no reason to. No war to fight, no reason they’d need to get together. Keefe thought that growing up fighting a war made them all forget how to have a simple friendship.

Before falling asleep that night he decided to draw something to remind Biana of them. He would never forget the way Biana’s entire face lit up when he handed the painting to her. He softly smiled at the memory.

“I found the crystal!” Dex called from the other side of the room, half stuck in a drawer. “Marella, are you almost done?”

Marella, who had one foot on the seating part of the chair and the other on the back, was trying to balance on two legs of it with one circular disk in her mouth and the other in her hand, trying to place it on the ceiling. “Well I would be if Keefe would get his butt over here and actually do something!” she grunted. Tried to at least, her words came out muffled and confusing, but Keefe got the idea quick enough to grab the chair before she fell.

“Oh my god,” Dex muttered. “I’m going to be the one making sure you two dumbasses don’t die, aren’t I?” In unison, Marella and Keefe grinned at him and he groaned. With one last little hop Marella got the device on the ceiling and planted the other on the bookshelf. Keefe placed one under Biana’s desk, and next to the door on the wall. It all hit them at the same moment as Keefe armed the last disk, and Dex drew out the letter they had written up on the roof.

“I think I’ll miss her,” Dex said finally; Marella nodded. And finally, it felt like a bright neon sign, right in front of him, blinking bright and loud, and somehow all along he had missed it. The only reason the three of them had stayed was Biana. Keefe, who knew her as his little sister. Marella who she knew as a friend that no matter what was there. And Dex, as the person who stuck by his side when Sophie left him and waited to return the favor. Maybe it was poetry, maybe Keefe was connecting dots that weren’t supposed to connect but it made him want to laugh.

“Yeah, me too, but we’ll see her before we leave,” Keefe reminded him a bit forcefully. If he were in that office any longer, he’d convince himself to stay. Marella took the note from him to read over again before leaving it. “Let’s go, we’ve got four more places to hit.”

Keefe didn’t wait for an answer and ended up making it to the leap master before the others. It took a few minutes, but finally, they were all there calling out for Foxfire.

It was dark, everyone had gone. Keefe didn’t quite understand how time zones worked with jumping from Biana’s house, which the sun was just then setting, and Foxfire where it was already dark with the moon high. Granted, he didn’t really try.

Foxfire, being much bigger than Biana’s office, forced them to split up. Dex took the top levels, Keefe took the middle, and Marella the ground floor. Keefe slung his bag of disks over his shoulder and made his way through the classrooms. It was slow work, finding good spots to put them in each room and through the hallways, with the bag which felt like it held a bunch of rocks.

The job went by in about an hour, even though it felt much much longer, and he finally made his way back down to the courtyard. “What took you so long?” Marella laughed as he came out rubbing his sore shoulder. “Don’t forget we’ve got more to do!”

“Yeah yeah,” he grumbled. “You guys done here yet?”

Dex poked his head out from behind one of the trees and said, “I’ve got two more left.“

Keefe could tell that the ones in his hands were the only ones he had left from how his bag looked much lighter. "So we can mark Foxfire off the list, ey?” Marella asked.

“Only three more places to hit,” Keefe grinned.

Dex rolled his eyes, “That’s not counting the spots inside those places. It’s much more than you think.”

Keefe just laughed in response; they were so close. To being free, to running away, the thing Keefe was so good at. Running, and well, making one hell of a lasting impression. That was really their plan.

It was a short time till they found themselves in Atlantis weaving their way through the back allies to find the shed they had left the next batch of devices at. Dex reminded them, yet again because “everything has to be perfect”, that Marella was taking the treasury building—which sounded entirely boring, which was why Keefe had opted out. Keefe would be taking the various transportation locations, and Dex the business district (also boring). Their rendezvous would be the monument of Linh, Sophie, and himself when they had saved Atlantis. Keefe remembered making some horrible joke about the monument when it was built, something about how they didn’t get his hair in all of its glory, but then, after seeing it again, all he could think of was how much he regretted that his stupid crush had gotten in the way of actually being able to get to talk with Linh. He wondered how many of the others he’d neglected ‘cause of it; he wanted to groan at how stupid he was.

“You good there, Goldie?” Marella asked.

“Why am I Goldie? You’ve got blonde hair too."

"Okay, yeah, but my hair is more pale than gold. And plus I deserve something much cooler than ‘Goldie’."

Keefe shook his head, "Okay, Braids.”

Marella, who had started to walk off, threw a smile over her shoulder. “Could use some work!”

“I didn’t have enough time!”

“Excuses! I expect something better when I come back!”

“Oh, so I’m getting graded?” Keefe shouted, but she was gone and he was left standing alone. Slinging his bag over his shoulder he headed to the nearest light leaper. There were about five of them across the city that only lead to other light leapers inside Atlantis. He had five devices, the smaller ones that would reach only the light leaper itself and the edges of surrounding buildings.

In total it only took him about twenty minutes to leap to each spot, find a hidden location to hide the device, arm them, and then leap away. Marella and Dex had more to cover than him so he found himself sitting at the edge of the fountain, fiddling with the KMD, as they had ended up calling them. Dex arrived first, grinning and clearly riding an adrenaline high, with Marella in tow. “All set?” Dex asked.

Keefe stood. “Yup just as you planned, Techmaster.”

“Wait, why does he get a cool name?” Marella gasped.

“I like him more,” Keefe deadpanned. Dex smiled and did his best to look innocent (which he was really good at for some reason) and Marella rolled her eyes.

“Don’t just stand around; we’ve got places to be!” Dex called, already headed for the whirlpool.

With a chuckle, he and Marella followed. Mysterium was next, in Keefe’s opinion the most boring of their stops but the way that Dex’s face lit up when he spotted Slurps and Burps whirling and glittering in the distance made it worth it. Dex beamed with something like pride and it was infectious. Keefe shook his head slightly, at how easy it was for him to grin, at Dex’s face that was entirely dorky, and at Marella who smiled somewhat mischievously as she placed her devices. It was quick and easy work placing the devices while Dex dropped off the letter—almost identical to the one they had left Biana—at Slurps and Burps. They waited as Dex made his way back to them and practically ran when they could see him. There wasn’t as much time left as they had hoped; the sun was supposed to rise in about two hours, leaving them barely enough time to cover all of Eternalia. Keefe reached the leaper expecting the others to be on his tail when he turned around, but they weren’t.

His eyes scanned fervently and finally found Marella and Dex standing off to the side, staring back at the Slurps and Burps. Keefe wanted to laugh at the scene if it wasn’t so serious. Marella, stoney, sarcastic, quick-witted Marella, had her arm over Dex’s shoulders like she was pulling him in for a hug. Keefe raised an eyebrow at her when their eyes locked over Dex’s shoulder and her face turned hard. Speak of this and I will kill you, was the message Keefe read loud and clear.

After what seemed like ages, the pair made it to the leap master seemingly still emotionally intact and Dex with a new determined look in his eyes. As Keefe called out for Eternalia he couldn’t help but feel a new rush of adrenaline crash over him.

Now to tackle Eternalia it relied on many moving parts. Part I, the councillors homes. Each of them had two disks, set to cover a larger distance, and needed to place one in between every two towers. Keefe, along with his two devices, also was in charge of the KMD, which was to be placed on Alina’s tower. When they were still scheming Alina’s tower was the obvious choice of who they’d want to annoy the most. Alina’s surprisingly wasn’t the hardest to find, of course, being the most glittery and the most bright even in the dark. Just as he placed it he saw three flashes in the distance, Marella’s signal, marking her to finish first. Once the device was placed Keefe sprinted to his last spot when- CRASH!

He sprawled on the ground, head aching and pain shooting up his arms. Fuck, he thought eloquently. Curses slipped from his mouth as he tried to stand. He managed to pull himself to his knees to determine just how screwed he was. He had rough spots on his palms that were bound to bruise, a huge scrape down his arm, a busted lip from the way he could taste copper in his mouth, and from how much his head ached, he had probably cut his head too. His legs were probably worse; luckily, he couldn’t actually see the extent of his injuries because of his pants (and from the pain he could feel he honestly didn’t want to see it).

He was fine. This was fine. He would just push past the pain and get himself through downtown than he could figure it out. It was just a fall. A fucking painful fall, his brain supplied unhelpfully. He saw three green flashes in the distance and cursed again. Dex was gone too.

He needed to get moving, and he needed to get moving fast. Keefe grunted, took a few breathes, and managed to get his feet. It was a bit harder to leap with an injury but he managed, and after placing his last device, he found himself in downtown.

Dex saw him first, delight turned to concern turned to worry until he was rushing to him. “Why are you bleeding? Why are you beat up? I leave you alone for five freaking seconds-"

"What happened?” Marella came up behind him with more annoyance than concern on her face.

“Well, I was going to explain to Gears over here-”

“Gears? Really?”

“-but I don’t think he knows how to keep quiet,” Keefe finished.

“Start talking, now."

Keefe sighed, "I fell.”

Marella stared at him, “You fell, and did this?”

“It was a very mean rock!”

“Oh, my Ancients-” Marella breathed clearly trying not to laugh.

“You’re benched. we’ve only got a few more left anyway,” Dex said, still eyeing his injuries. Keefe honestly didn’t have it in him to argue. Though it didn’t stop him from snatching the other KMD from the bag next to him and securing it to the ground with only a few winces.

He watch as Dex and Marella placed the last couple of devices. They were clearly talking about something urgent, and from the way, Dex kept on glancing his way, it was probably about Keefe, but he wasn’t close enough to hear and honestly, it was getting on his nerves. What was so important they couldn’t tell it to his face? Probably something you won't like, Keefe thought. He wasn’t always the best at taking bad news, though he didn’t think he was as bad as Fitzy used to be.

“We’re gonna have to jump back to your house before we can set everything off,” Marella stated.

Keefe balked. “We don’t have time for that!”

She threw up her hands, “Well you went and got yourself hurt and we don’t exactly have another choice.”

“I am fine,” Keefe said, trying to hide the wince that came.

Dex rolled his eyes, “It’s a short pit stop, come on. We’re all done here; a few minutes won’t hurt the schedule.”

Keefe wanted to argue that it would hurt the schedule because the schedule was flawless and nothing mattered more than the schedule. Unfortunately, he knew that neither of them would actually listen to him.

Admittedly, when it was all done, getting Keefe patched up with the cloth they found and cleaning off the blood took a lot less time than he initially thought. They had found Elwin’s stash of pain killer serums and as soon as Keefe took them he ordered them to get moving. “We’ve got places to be and things to set off!”

“Lead the way, dude,” Dex huffed. After the war, Forkle had ended up showing the rest of the Black Swan members where his office was—with a heavy, heavy swear to never show the council where it was. The best part about Forkle retiring: they could use the dusty office as a great spot to see pranks. That was probably not Forkle’s intent but who could really stop them?

Stepping into the weird round office (what had Sophie said it resembled? A hobbit hole? Keefe put that on the list as a first order of business to figure out when they got to the Forbidden Cities), it was like nothing had changed. TV’s still lined the wall, and the desk in the center had scattered papers from who knows how long ago. From his memory, Sophie was the last person here, she had watched right before she left, she spent almost a whole day just watching. In Keefe’s opinion, it was kind of creepy but it was probably something sentimental to her. It had been a year since then and everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.

They set to work, setting up, connecting cables, dusting (not something Keefe thought this would entail). Their list was made quick work of and soon they were all set up and staring at the screens. People moved like nothing was going to happen, they moved in a trance of things to do and places to be and not a care for the world around them. Keefe remembered a long time ago, Alden saying that elves loved their work, but as he watched people go they didn’t all seem to love it. Their lives were a dull continuous day after day after day with nothing to want and nothing different. Keefe grinned, oh how they would change that. They all held separate controllers, all for different things.

With a nod, Marella started to count down. “Three. Two. One.” She pressed her button and the disks went off. Pink goop (Keefe got the idea from bubble gum, something he had been a tad bit addicted to in his time away) covered everywhere. Luckily, the cameras were high enough that their view wasn’t blocked, because the view from above was amazing. People shouted and left their shops, watching as the mass overtook everywhere. No one was actually in danger, anyone stuck would be just a tad bit uncomfortable but still safe. Dex let out a breathless laugh, “It worked, oh my Ancients it worked!"

Marella let out a whoop and he couldn’t help but be caught in the crashing wave of her joy. But they weren’t done yet; there was still more to do.

They waited in anxious excitement for the panic to die down before they could release Wave 2. Finally, it was time and Keefe pushed his remote to see glitter fill the air and Biana’s infamous quote light the sky. ”' Sparkles make everything better,’“ Keefe said as he watched the shimmering rain. "That they do, that they do.”

Dex giggled as he pushed his button, releasing the KMD. Keefe was fairly proud of his odd combination of their initials, but it worked well. Keefe’s pink faded into Marella’s orange into Dex’s green in a shimmering rain that morphed into “The Outsiders”, as Dex had called them the night before.

Keefe swelled with pride, “Now that is something sixteen-year-old me would be hella proud of.”

Marella nodded, “We did something amazing here today, boys.”

“That we did."

That afternoon, moments before sunset, Dex, Marella, Keefe, Biana, and Elwin stood on the hill behind Elwin’s house. No one knew what to say, no one knew where to start. Honestly, Keefe thought that the only thing keeping Elwin from crying was his silence.

"Really,” Biana spoke startling them all. “You had to use the 'Sparkles make everything better'?”

Marella barked out a laugh. “Hey, we knew it would get your attention,” Dex said.

Biana raised her eyebrow, “Oh, really? Because the giant blob of pink goop in my office and everywhere else wouldn’t?”

“Wellll- it was a fun addition,” Keefe said.

Biana smiled softly, “I’m going to miss you guys.” Keefe couldn’t stop himself anymore and he pulled her into a hug.

“We’ll be back. I promise.”

“You better be, asshole; I can’t fix everything on my own,” Biana whispered into his shoulder.

“And you don’t have to,” Keefe whispered back. If anything, he wanted her to know that before they left. She nodded slowly.

Keefe felt Dex and Marella join the hug, and eventually so did Elwin and it felt so final that Keefe had to remind himself again and again that it wasn’t; that he’d be back.

Finally, they pull away, everyone with teary eyes. “If any one of you gets hurt you are calling me immediately, got it?” Elwin stated, point his finger at them.

Dex snorted, “I don’t think it works like that.”

“I do not care, I am not letting anyone of you get hurt by that place,” Elwin said, almost glaring at them. “Are you kidding? The amount of work I’m going to have to go through, detoxing you after you’re exposed to all those-” he waved his hands excessively, “pollutions!”

“Yes sir,” Keefe said as he mock-soluted him.

“We should probably get going,” Marella elbowed him, checking her watch. “Bi? Watch my mom, will you?”

Biana smiled, “Of course.”

Dex gulped, “And watch the triplets for me? And Elwin, talk to my parents? They’ll be mad I didn’t tell them but I just couldn’t say goodbye to them.”

Elwin and Biana nodded. Keefe raised his leaping crystal, “I love you guys.” The beam opened up and before he could bite his tongue, “I love you, Dad.” He stepped through, not even looking to see Elwin’s response.

Marella and Dex met him on the other side, both giving him quizzical looks. “You really just called him Dad for the first time and then ran away for who knows how long?” Dex asked.

“Yup!”

“I thought that impulsive phase was over,” Marella said.

“I'm sorry what have the past two days been?"

"We don’t talk about that."

Keefe grinned, "Okay Techmaster, lead the way.” And they were off a clean slate, a fresh beginning.

They had rigged up a computer, a shitty web camera, and a stand duct-taped together in the middle of their small Sydney apartment. Dex stood behind, still messing with the settings as Keefe was trying to fix the crappy white sheet they had hung behind them. “I think it’s fine,” Marella chuckled.

“Oh suree tell the guy who actually can speak to the tech how it works,” Dex said, rolling his eyes and pressing a few more buttons. Marella moved her fingers around her temple and mouthed, “Crazy” and Keefe found that he couldn’t stop himself from snorting.

“You know I can see you right.”

“Yup!” Marella and Keefe said in unison, giving in to another round of giggles.

Dex shook his head, “Well, we’re all set up.” For a millisecond Keefe could tell just how nervous Marella was in the way that her eyes darted, trying to make sure everything was holding steady, how her hands silently snapped to some imaginary song. It came off her in waves, though her excitement accompanied it.

“Okay, you guys ready?” Dex asked.

Keefe nodded. “Okay, three,” Dex held up three fingers. Two. One. He pointed at them.

The first round ended prematurely in a fit of giggles. The second with Marella staring blankly, the third with Keefe singing some random song he had heard on the radio because who knew what he was supposed to say? Certainly not him!

It took more tries than Keefe could count and well after the sun went down before they finally had an acceptable intro (they also managed to drag Dex into the actual camera view which was secretly Marella and Keefe’s main goal).

It took only two days to edit on top of the jobs that they had managed to find. Eventually, they were all standing in front of the computer anxiously watching Dex press the upload button.

“You know,” Dex said, “it’s not going to make any difference with you standing right there.”

“We are witnessing history in the making; we cannot miss out on that!” Keefe yelled dramatically, met with an exaggerated eye roll.

It all seemed too simple to be called a beginning, just a click of a button, and they were alive somewhere among the firing code in this vast world.

They were all lounging on the couch when it came. The doorbell rang, and no one moved, except the cat. Dex was too wrapped in his current school project that had to do with writing something that was way above Keefe’s amount of brain cell. Curled on the couch, Marella had her headphones in, editing their newest video that had them trying to paint a posing Dex with their fingers. This ended into chaos which was a surprise to no one. Keefe grinned at the memory as he tried to lure out their new cat that had decide to bolt under the sofa the moment the bell rang. “Come here Marty Jr.,” Keefe cooed.

Marella pulled out one earbud, “Did we really have to name her Marty Jr.?”

“If I recall correctly you didn’t have a better idea at the time,” Keefe retorted.

“I did!” Dex called.

“For the last time, we are not naming her after some weird chemical!”

“Pneumonia is a perfectly reasonable name!”

“Wait,” Marella said, “isn’t that a lung disease?”

“I thought it was some poisonous gas thing?” Keefe said.

Dex groaned, “Why must I be the only intelligent person here?”

“Look is someone going to get the door? It could be pizza,” Marella said. Keefe groaned and gave up trying to get the cat out from under the couch, going to answer the door.

No one was outside on the balcony, no one was in the courtyard except for the neighbor's kids. But there was pizza on the ground, still in the box, and it smelt like heaven. On top of the box was an envelop. “Did either of you order a mysterious pizza and a suspicious-looking envelope?” Keefe called out, carrying the box into the house.

“No?” Dex said, his face twisted in confusion.

“Well, looks like we got a surprise then.”

Marella came up behind him, Marty Jr. sitting comfortably in her arms, “What’s in the envelope?”

“Just a letter,” Keefe said. It was a letter, but when he unfolded it, it held a handwriting he would never mistake. Biana’s. “What the-” Keefe started but Marella snatched the paper out of his hands.

“She wants to meet us,” Marella whispered.

“Where?"

"In some cabin in the US.”

Keefe groaned, “Crap, we don’t have that kinda money without it being sponsored.”

Dex grinned holding up the discarded envelope, “She already thought of that.” He pulled out three plane tickets.

Keefe grinned, “Well, I guess we’re going to America.”

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uselesstimetraveler · 4 years ago

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It's been over a week now since the AOS finale and I still haven't had the heart to rewatch it, so I'm just gonna share with you my opinions from that night (I wrote most of this the next day, just haven't posted yet lol)

It was next level excellent, overall, but I have A LOT to say, this is gonna be long

YES TO EVERYTHING DANIEL RELATED!!! The thing I loved the most was that they made him so useful, he wasn't just helping Daisy or doing whatever people told him to do, he actually had a great idea and executed it with Mack’s total support. He went to action and it gave me LIFE!

Another thing that gave me life was the philindaisy moment at the bar. I’m a sucker for them. When Daisy got there and hugged Coulson I was AAAAAAA and then she went to hug May and you see her stop, like, “oops, should I?” AND THEN MAY HUGS HER HERSELF!! Now, you can argue that May is an empath and felt Daisy’s emotions at that moment, but lemme tell y’all THAT WAS NOT JUST DAISY’S FEELINGS, THAT WAS MELINDA MAY'S GENUINE HAPPINESS FROM SEEING THAT HER DAUGHTER MADE IT BACK SAFELY!!! Try to convince otherwise and fail miserably. My family is just perfect like that.

The Fitzsimmons reunion scene I WAS SOBBING from the moment she realised the key was her ring!!! AND THEN FITZ JUST xkskdxkkm COMES BACK LIKE THAT kxsmkdsms I CAN’T djkskdsjsms I WILL NEVER EVER GET OVER THAT!!! That whole thing was genius, honestly. They were truly able to take a hard situation in which an important actor wouldn’t be able to be there for most of the season and used it amazingly to their advantage. And then Fitz HELPED HER REMEMBER BY TELLING THOSE STORIES = MORE TEARS. That whole scene was beautiful. AND WHEN SHE REMEMBERS ALYA OH MY GOD by that point I was screaming. Btw, I love how they chose their daughter’s name, it’s beautiful and has an even more beautiful meaning for them <3

Since I’m already talking about Fitzsimmons I’m just gonna go ahead and say that their ending was so well deserved. They suffered a lot, literally every season some shit would happen to them. I’m so glad they got their happy ending and are right now living their best life as a family <3 fitzsimmons family = everything to me. (are there any Fringe stans in here????? Did y’all notice that parallel at the end? If not, let me explain: aos: jemma sitting on the grass seeing fitz and alya playing together and smiling. Fringe: olivia sitting on the grass seeing peter and etta playing together and smiling. BOTH ON THE LAST EPISODE!! And both episodes were number 13. This is too much for my heart.)

About Deke: I really love that he was the one to “sacrifice” himself for the team. I’m not really a fan of Deke, but I was glad that he did what he always wanted, in a way; Contribute significantly to the team and be acknowledged as part of said team. It felt to me that by doing that he was doing what he often tried, but no one ever really took him seriously enough to allow him to do. I think he was selfless and then ended up finding his true place, after all. Nicely done, if you ask me.

On that note, and shifting back to Daniel once more: when he said he was gonna be the one to stay behind I was like “NO YOU’RE NOT! Don’t even think about it. You, buddy, are going with Daisy.” What was he thinking? (I know what, and I know it was brave and selfless of him, but just let me have my moment, okay?)

Now the answer to ending the war was empathy?????????? GENIUS!!! Mojed, you went beyond terrific there. I love everything evolving May in that part of the finale, how she dropped from the ceiling calling herself The Calvary (talk about character development!!!) to philinda fighting together and exchanging looks, to her saving the freaking world with her empath abilities!!!! I have some serious goosies just remembering.

Something else that was just genius to me was that they were the ones at the temple, THEY CARRIED MAY OUT OF THERE, I did NOT see that coming. WHAT?!

OH! And what about what Piper asked for??? She asked for Davis!! That’s adorable! That had me crying too, I love their friendship.

Now Kora. I was a little bothered about how fast things happened for her and Daisy on the sister bonding thing. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like that her and Daisy ended up working on the same team for SHIELD and that they were in a good place in their relationship, but what I’m saying is that Kora hated Daisy’s guts on one scene and Daisy had literally said a couple episodes ago that she did have a sister, but it was Jemma, and then Daisy died, and I liked that Kora saved her, is just that I got a vibe off of them in that scene that seemed like they had the best kind of sister bond for ages. Was that just me? Maybe, but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s not really a problem, I'm just saying.

Btw, when Daisy died for, like, two seconds, I was out of my mind!!!! I couldn’t even scream, I just froze in place. Thank God or whomever that she was brought back to life. I wouldn't be able to continue without my baby.

Now back to philinda and probably the only "complaint" I have: Let us agree, despite wanting them to be together in the end, there was very little chance of that really happening, right? Because he’s a robot now. But I did have a lot of hope, those episodes >>gave me<< a lot of hope. Y’know, in episode 12 they had that moment talking in the hallway, the explosion happened, he protected Melinda... I was like, “that’s my couple right there, you guys”. Then at the fighting scene they exchanged some looks at the end that really left me “it’s coming, people. Their happy ending.” It didn’t come. I took another blow to the face. A blow that was expected, yes, but a blow nonetheless.

I wasn’t all that excited about Coulson’s ending at first, you know, him just traveling the world, but I understand what they did and why. He’s still getting used to his new self and rediscovering his life, so it makes sense that he would need time to do that. That last scene with Lola was simply EVERYTHING TO ME tho!!!!

But May’s ending… the thing is, I had a lot of expectations for how she would end up. Throughout the seasons something that was very clear to me was her desire to be a mother and I know that she built that relationship with the youngest agents on the team, but I kinda expected, aside from philinda endgame, more of that. But my biggest problem here isn’t even that, is that I really, REALLY don’t see Melinda May giving lectures????? Melinda May? The woman who now calls herself The Calvary, teaching theory or history or whatever???? I’m not saying she can’t, I’m just saying I never thought of that as a possibility for her, it sounds more like a Coulson thing to me. But then again, that’s all they showed us from her life. They gave us very little details about how she (and everyone else, honestly) is living and I think in a way I like that because it lets us imagine whatever we want. So she could very easily just be there at the academy for one lecture, she could be training (physically?) new agents instead? IDK. Also, Flint was there, they could have built a relationship. Mentor\mentee like hers with Daisy at first or even mother\son? I’d like that. I like the “found family” thing.

I have two ideas of fanfiction out of the finale. The first one is a Dousy that I had already thought of and completely fits with one thing that Daisy said, and the other is basically a Philinda fix it because, well, I want to. I'm very lazy when it comes to my writing, but I really wanna do these two, let's see how that turns out.

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degenerate-perturbation · 4 years ago

Text

Viv Reviews: The Witch’s Heart by Genevieve Gornichec

Being as I am contractually obliged to read all Loki-the-mythological-being fanfiction, I dive bombed this book like a seagull espying a stray french fry on the boardwalk. I had never heard of it before I saw it on the shelf at the bookstore, but reading the summary and the first page, I bought it immediately, started it within a few days, and finished it over the course of approximately four baths. Usually the lag time between me becoming aware of a book and actually reading it is anywhere between a year and a decade, so this is pretty incredible performance.

And this one was actually good! Really good! Or it could have been, if it didn’t absolutely cheese it in the second half of the story.

The first half is extremely solid, if somewhat conventional. It follows the myths, centering on Angrboda and Loki’s relationship. I had a pre-existing attachment to Loki and enjoyed all of this greatly. Was it stunning literature? No. Was it a really solid, satisfying fanfiction? Yes. And I will give the first half of the book solid marks on that front.

I’ll be honest. I read this book for Loki. But I really enjoyed Angrboda as a protagonist here. She minds her own business. She doesn’t hold grudges. She doesn’t want revenge for the trauma and wrongs visited upon her. She doesn’t cling to pride. Overall it paints the picture of an admirable person, who never strays into the saccharine or unbelievable. I like her. Even though I am a Loki apologist through and through, when they part on bad terms, I was fully on her side.

I also really like this Loki. In this book his key flaw is identified not as dishonesty or disloyalty, but as an excessive desire to be accepted. Loki is willing to do anything to continue to be accepted by the Aesir, or rather tolerated by them. He is ready to suffer any humiliation, any degradation, any pain, any loss, all to keep his tenuous, heavily-conditional place among them. For all us faggots and retards and adjacent undesirables in the audience, this is a familiar emotion. I clapped my hands in delight to watch it all play out; Loki the weird kid who eats dirt trying desperately to keep the cool kids laughing so he can imagine that they are laughing with him, not at him, even if it means betraying his own family.

There is another interesting element to this story and that is the hint of Angrboda/Skadi as the endgame relationship. It’s built up nicely; Skadi and Angrboda are good friends, jealous of one another’s husbands and not talking about it, all the while we the audience know that Angrboda and Loki’s marriage is doomed to explode. When Angrboda is nearly killed and all she loves taken from her, Skadi is the one who is there for her. Aha! I think. So this is why Skadi hated Loki so much, and why Angrboda left Loki to his fate! Hohoho, I can’t wait to see this play out.

And then it just fucking doesn’t.

At the midpoint of the book, the tension drains away, there is no structure to speak of, and Stuff Kind Of Just Happens.

Having healed from the attempt on her life, Angrboda decides to set off on a journey to rediscover her magical abilities. She gives Skadi the standard “I have to do this alone” line, and...Skadi just goes, okay, bye then, and lets her go. And then she just isn’t in the story for a long time.

At this point Angrboda’s goal is to find her daughter, because she knows her sons are fated to die during Ragnarok. Angrboda is unable to die; she always comes back. This is one of the first things established about her and the audience is reminded of it when she fails to die when she is killed, at the midpoint. Aha! one might think. Angrboda will be so desperate to see her daughter that she will repeatedly try to die, and be unable to! Only once she has exhausted every option and given up on despair, only then is she able to access her magic and travel to the underworld without dying! Only by choosing to live can she truly heal and progress in her goals!

But that is not what happens. What actually happens is that Angrboda putzes around for a few years Finding Herself and making friends with local wildlife. She relearns her magic because Freyja--a character who has hardly been mentioned in the story up until this point--teaches her. Because Girl Power, or something. When she finally does reach Hel, it doesn’t feel like an exciting emotional climax, it’s just kind of another thing that happens. Poor structure!

Here is another example of poor structure: the eventual Angrboda/Skadi relationship.

After they randomly part ways just at the juncture where serious relationship development would reasonably be happening, they next speak to each other after Ragnarok has started. Skadi comes to visit Angrboda. She tells her about the binding of Loki, but leaves out her role in it. Later, she guiltily admits that she was the one who added the snake, because she wanted to make Loki suffer for hurting Angrboda. This makes Angrboda realize that Skadi loves her, and they become lovers. Several months later, Angrboda decides, for no particular reason, that she should free Loki.

Look. I’m not any kind of screenwriting genius. But there is an obvious way that this should have played out according to every law of dramatic tension. Here it is:

Skadi goes to see Angrboda at the start of Ragnarok, and, driven by the impending apocalyptic events, confesses her feelings. They become lovers. Skadi hides her role in the binding of Loki for the duration of their relationship. Angrboda spends months or even years lost in the haze of complacent gay love and resignation to fate. Then, much later, Skadi tells her the truth. This horrifies Angrboda, and is the catalyst which makes her decide to free Loki. The realization that she still cares for her good-for-nothing ex-husband spurs some character development.

But Angrboda and Skadi can’t have any drama or emotional conflict or tension in their relationship. Because Girl Power.

And when she gets there, and witnesses her ex-husband, the father of her children, horrifically tortured and maimed as a direct result of the actions of her current lover, what does Angrboda do? She takes a moment to have a little pow-wow with Sigyn and let her know that there are no hard feelings and we women have to support each other you know. Because Girl Power.

The rest of the story is an incoherent soup of Stuff Just Happening. It has that fanfiction vibe of just trying to get through all the canon plot points while the characters we’re actually focusing on have nothing to do with them. There is one cool part where Angrboda realizes that Hel has a weak heart--so she cuts out her own and gives it to her, and this allows Hel to survive Ragnarok. Loki was the one who returned Angrboda’s heart to her at the start of the story, so this is quite sweet and fitting. But it happens offscreen, and then we are subjected to Hel & Baldur’s romantic banter which is gratingly exactly the same as Angrboda & Loki’s romantic banter.

There is a skeleton of a good story here. But that’s really the best I can say for it. I’m not really sure what happened here--other reviewers have suggested a lack of imagination on Gornichec’s part, and maybe that explains some of it, but I suspect the Girl Power themes also have to do with it. So many scenes and plot points seem only to exist to affirm the theme of Women Supporting Women. I vaguely get the impression that Gornichec is shying away from centering the Angrboda and Loki relationship, too, Because Girl Power. Only this doesn’t work, because it is quite clearly the central relationship, and acting like it’s not just makes for poor storytelling.

I’ve said before that a mark of a good story is one whose prose, plot, characters, and world all uniformly and point in the same direction, creating a coherent Theme. Here it’s more like the Theme was dropped into the middle of the plot by a dumptruck and left there, getting in the way of the actual story and messing up the structure. And structure is seriously important! The book I read immediately after this one was The Rise of Kyoshi by F. C. Yee, another published f/f fanfiction novel, and I won’t be reviewing that one, because it was damn good - in large part due to its tight, coherent structure.

The Witch’s Heart could’ve been it, but ultimately turned out a disappointing fanfiction. Compare Miller’s Circe - but Circe was a better book by far.

#viv reviews #extended speech act

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theredconversegirl · 5 years ago

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hey there! looking for more fanfictions to read, what would be your favorites right now?

Hey there Anon!

Thank you for stopping by! You’re lucky that I was already preparing a few rec lists, so it was easy (and quick) to put this one together :D

I’m including below a list of a few of my all-time and current favorite fics. Since there are so many lists out there recommending known and famous stories, I’m leaving those out of this post, so we can give some space for underrated fics as well. ;)

In no particular order, here are 15 SasuSaku fics I love very much:

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Give Me A Reason by: Rise of the Blossom / @riseoftheblossom-ff

Things aren’t always what they seem and when Sasuke realizes that, he also realizes he has two choices: fight for her, or give in. [Rated M, complete. High School AU.]

The story is very relatable (to me at least 🙄) and my favorite high school one. There’s a nice character development and a good backstory. I love the interactions and how they seem real. 🙃

P.S.: This hits too close to home lol. The way they start and develop their friendship/relationship is - almost - the same way I did with my hubby.

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Don’t You Wanna Stay by: letmeannoyyoutoday

Seeking help one cold winter night at his old teammate’s place, Sasuke remembers just what Christmas is about. [Rated T - One-Shot Christmas Fic.]

Perfect balance between angst and that feel-good aftertaste. This author’s writing is lovely too. ❤️

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Ever After by: ohwhatsherface / @sun-summoning

Sasuke and Sakura enjoy the married life. And kissing. Especially the kissing. [Rated T, complete. Short Story.]

This is the cutest story ever! You’ll be smiling from ear to ear until the end. Heartwarming and fluffy, full of slices of life (my go-to feel good fic). 🥰

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Celebrity Status by: Einna Fletcher / @backintheslipstream

Sasuke and Sakura’s lives revolve around music, and the craziness that comes with fame. Romance is the last thing they want to deal with. The problem: they can’t seem to stay away from each other. [Rated M, complete. Celebrity AU]

My teen years were surrounded by music and friends’ bands, so this story is special to me ❤️. Here, they are both singers and in different places in their career, and the hate to love development is great. It makes me giddy! 🤩

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Cracks by: thevelvetbunny

Sasuke struggles with life after returning to Konoha, and enters counselling with a certain no-nonsense Hokage. [Rated M, incomplete.🔥]

Although the fic doesn’t have an official end, the story seems wrapped when you finish it. I loved this one very much! The pacing and development is so good!!! It’s like a “what if Sasuke stayed in the village after his first return (no redemption journey)” AU. Here, he rediscovers the friendship with his teammates, he allows himself to feel - slowly but surely ;) - and he opens up, getting the help he truly needs. Itachi is somehow ingrained in his recovery and it’s beautiful. Also, without giving much away, SasuSaku here is 🔥🔥🔥!

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Good Vibrations by: Cinnamunk

With her 25th birthday approaching, her friends pairing off, and her forever crush firmly ensconced in ANBU, Sakura feels decidedly gloomy about her romantic prospects. One Ino-led shopping trip and a mysterious midnight visitor later, things are looking up for our favorite, pink-haired kunoichi. Or are they? SasuSaku. Non-mass AU. Fluff/lemon with some soapy angst/drama. [Rated M, complete.🔥 and there’s a sequel!]

Non-massacre fics are my favorite, and this one is amazing and hilarious! Hold tight, because this story starts in a really good pace. 👀🔥

P.S.: Also, beware of the dreamy and hot 😅 Uchihas.. especially Shisui 😏. I do not take responsibility if you fall a little bit in love with him! 🙄

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Meet the Parents by: JinnySkeans

There are pictures on the walls of a small, loving family and he has the presence of mind to feel unsettled, as though he’s intruding on their happiness just by existing. Still, though, her mother fills his teacup with a smile and her father claps him on the back, and they’re kind and warm and welcoming. Sakura had to have learned it all somewhere. [Rated T, complete.]

This is an all-time favorite because, well, Sasuke meets the Harunos and I don’t see that a lot. It’s also heartwarming and so fun to read! There’s also a good portion of confused and jealous Sasuke, which is always a treat. 🥰

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Arranged by: zunaira ghazal / @zunairaghazal / @zgs1994

Arranged marriage in the twenty-first century might have been uncommon, but not unheard of. “You’re mommy’s special little snowflake, aren’t you?” [Rated M, complete. Modern AU.]

[🛑 UPDATE: Unfortunately this story is no longer available. More details here ]

The arranged marriage trope is a guilty pleasure of mine, and this one was the first one I read, so it holds a special place in my SasuSaku heart 💕. Mikoto is matchmaking as expected, Sasuke has none of that, and Sakura thinks everyone is nuts. This is another fun read! 😌

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Chains by: Boriqua-chan

Sasuke is in chains and Sakura can do as she wishes. [Rated M, complete. Smutfic. 🔥]

Well, the summary says everything… 😏🔥🔥

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he said by: the blanket / @blanket-fictions

Sasuke, Sakura, and all that lies between. “I have never expected anything from you. That would have been the height of all foolishness, and say what you want about me, but I was never that. With you, Sasuke-kun, I only ever hoped.” [Rated T - One-shot.]

This is short, but it’s so, so good! The angst and how Sakura overcomes the hurt and rejection are perfect. I can’t say more without giving away the goods.. go read this, please! 🥺

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Tangible by: twilightdazzle

Sometimes, she feels like she’s invisible and they can’t see her. Like she wasn’t real. And they finally realize she’s there just when they’re about to lose her. [Rated M, complete.]

This story is a storm of emotions, and the writing is so lovely and touching that it’s basically impossible not to tear up a bit.. prepare the kleenex beforehand, my friends! 🥺

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Origins of the New Uchiha by: CertifyyedGoon

When a very pregnant Sakura is kidnapped, Sasuke must journey not only through the obstacles to find her but also his own memories. “How do you know you’re going to find her?” “She’s my wife.” [Rated M, complete. Shinobi AU.]

Another AU that has a different approach around Sasuke’s redemption and return to the village. The story switches between present and past (Sasuke’s memories showing how their relationship evolved). The story is refreshing and brings that whole ANBU Team 7 vibe we all had before canon. 🤩💕

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Miss Independent by: letmeannoyyoutoday

Tsunade once told me that striving to be the best, to be acknowledged, to be renowned, also had a series of disadvantages. But I would have never thought that one of them would send me to Otokagure, serving under the man that once left me on a bench, in the middle of the night, after breaking my heart and killing what was left of my spirit. [Rated M, incomplete. Shinobi AU. 🔥]

Ok, Sakura is a badass, independent, strong, cocky, brilliant woman and kunoichi here - she’s awesome! This story is refreshing, sexy, and funny. Sasuke gets Konoha’s help to structure Oto’s medical care and hospital in a moment where he’s dealing with this unexpected legacy. They have to work together and they annoy the hell of each other in the process. It’s a long but worth the read story, even though it’s - unfortunately - not complete.🥺 Some I-hate-you-but-maybe-I-love-you in the mix.😍🔥

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The Story by: dances.with.sunflowers

Because when they married, he didn’t really know how to be a husband. But she had eternity to teach him. First year married. [Rated T - One-shot.]

A beautiful tale of love and patience, showing the development of their relationship and married life.❤️

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your spellbound heart by: blue-plums (arabesque05) / @blue-plums

there is a new barista at the corner coffeeshop, who always smells faintly of smoke. [Rated M, complete. Coffee Shop/Dragons AU.]

Simple, adorable, and hilarious story. This AU is one of the kind and when you finish the reading, I’m sure you’ll crave more. 😍😁

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If you enjoy these fics as much as I do, let the authors know! 😉

~ Happy reading!

xoxo

#SasuSaku #theredconversegirl recommends #ss fic rec #sasusaku fics #anon ask #ask me things #rec list #Sakura Haruno #Sasuke Uchiha

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 4 years ago

Note

As an Undertale fan, what are your thoughts on Chara?

(Rubbing hands together) I have. A lot to say about this.

Chara is such a fascinating and sympathetic figure in the story. In some ways, I even hesitate to call them a character (even though I know their name is a play on the word) because they are only ever alluded to in the story and have no spoken lines, barring a very psychedelic scene at the end of No-Mercy that may or may not have even been them, it was rather ambiguous. Their presence is definitely felt throughout the story, however. You can see them, just as you see Asriel, in the other characters. The haunted look in the eyes of their parents. Not to mention, the plot could not have happened in the way it did without Chara’s fall. I’ve said before that the story begins and ends with Asriel, and it does...but the same could be said of Chara.

Good or Evil?

The main question people have when it comes to this character is how involved they are with the events that occur, and what was their true nature? Were they a disturbed, evil child? Hell bent on slaughtering humanity and later the monsters? Were they just using Asriel? Or...was Chara a victim? An innocent child who wanted to do the right thing and died to save the society that rescued them? There’s no arguing that Chara was a saint - Asriel himself admits by the end of Pacifist that they were not the greatest person. But there’s a difference between being a snarky, traumatized hero, and being a hateful, wicked villain. I would say from the start that I question the validity of calling any child “evil.” On the other hand, Asriel did some pretty messed up things as Flowey, and it’s universally accepted that whoever was driving the No-Mercy Route, be it Frisk or Chara, was making evil decisions. There are also those who would point to you, the player, for making those choices...but for the sake of the fourth wall, I’m not to discount those interpretations. I want to talk about the characters, not the “anomaly.”

Here’s the thing. If Chara is responsible for the No-Mercy Route, if we follow the theory that they possessed Frisk, and that by the end they were in complete control - which is supported by a lot of the end-game red text - well, then to be entirely fair, we also have to credit them for the Pacifist Ending. If Chara was somehow reincarnated in Frisk, then that was true in every timeline, surely. We can’t condemn Chara and make them shoulder the blame for No-Mercy, while also declining to give them credit for the golden ending. Hell, Asriel has canonically taken the No-Mercy Route several times, by his own admission - I swear, everyone forgets that. If we don’t demonize Asriel for this, it seems wrong to do the same thing to Chara, even if No-Mercy was entirely their fault.

“I should have laughed it off, like you did.”

There is also some evidence that perhaps Chara wasn’t a very nice kid even before the Undertale story begins. People have suggested that they intentionally tried to kill Asgore, for example, with the Buttercup incident. However, I think people are forgetting that that was a joint effort. Asriel and Chara were both involved in making that pie, and we have no way of knowing which of them made the mistake. Yes, Chara did laugh about it later, but it’s not unheard of for people to laugh in horrifying situations, simply to cope with it. Sirius Black from Harry Potter was said to laugh when he was arrested for facilitating the murder of his best friends. Spoiler alert, he was innocent. Chara is a kid, and Asgore didn’t actually die. I don’t think we should assume that they intended to do this, or that they took pleasure from his pain.

The day Asriel died.

Chara’s gambit, the one that ultimately got Asriel killed and reborn as Flowey, is pretty ambiguous. First and foremost, we cannot blame Chara for what happened to Asriel. They wanted to fight back against the humans. Asriel resisted doing this. It seems very clear that whatever else was going on, Chara did not plan for Asriel to die, and they tried to stop it from happening. Otherwise, there are hints that they wanted this confrontation to happen, and that maybe that was why they took their body with them to the surface. Here’s the thing - killing humans was already part of the plan. It wasn’t like they were tricking Asriel into that - both of them knew they’d have to claim some human souls to break the barrier. Chara may have calculated that the humans would assume Asriel killed them and attack as a result - but that would simply be triggering the altercation that they and Asriel had planned on creating anyway.

The “Charrator” Theory

After this happened, Asriel was reborn as Flowey...and Chara is hinted to have became Frisk’s unseen companion. Perhaps Frisk’s fall disturbed their rest, since Frisk did land on top of the golden flowerbed that Chara is implied to have been buried under. There’s a major theory that the narrator of all the game’s text is actually Chara’s spirit. It would explain how the narration knows things that Frisk would have no way of knowing, like when you can “check” monsters in battle. Plus, the somewhat snarky sense of humor in the narration, yet still overall hopeful personality...well, it lines up a lot without how Chara was suggested to behave. There are other moments too, like how shocked the narrator seems when Asriel calls Frisk, addressing them as Chara. Or how the narrator falls silent when Asriel breaks down during the end of his fight. They also push Frisk to save him. Not to mention this is hinted far more in the No-Mercy path. It’s made blatant with lines like “The date I came here.” and “Still has that sweater.” and even “My bed.” So, yeah, I tend to subscribe to this theory a lot.

What happened to Chara?

My belief is that Chara was confused and traumatized and not at all sure what happened when they were first reborn in Frisk - either because they were haunting them, or because they were reincarnated. Hell, that might have been why Frisk climbed Mt. Ebbot. - In a way very similar to how Flowey was confused and scared when he first resurrected. I believe Frisk’s actions help Chara rediscover who they are. If Asriel can be forgiven for having to re-learn things like compassion after something as traumatizing as being murdered, can’t Chara be given the same patience? They died twice. Can’t it be assumed that they might need the same rehabilitation? I believe Chara learns from Frisk’s choices. One theory I’ve seen that I really like, is that they felt embittered toward Asriel for completely screwing the plan, by refusing to fight back. Hence Flowey asking “No hard feelings about back then, right?” Hence why Chara, after being on the No-Mercy Route for that long, might feel so much contempt for him that they slash him half a dozen times like we see. By completing Pacifist, Frisk teaches Chara what Asriel already knew - that any situation can be resolved peacefully, and thus refusing to fight back was the right choice. At which point, Chara is able to properly move on and rest. Having grown to the point of understanding that their hatred of humanity was not healthy.

That’s another thing, we never find out why Chara hated humanity so strongly. The same way we never find out why Frisk climbed Mt. Ebbot. It’s left to mystery. There are plenty of reasons it could be true. It could be as simple as them being infuriated at what humanity did to the monsters. Or maybe it suggests something worse, like abuse or neglect. Chara tripped, so we know it wasn’t a suicide attempt, but...I mean, what were they planning? The actual fall was an accident, but were they going to jump anyway? That’s the thing. Chara is jaded. They recognize the evil in the world and it makes them pessimistic. They hate humanity and thus they hate them-self, most likely. Ever notice how Chara’s plan to break the barrier results in their human body dying, and them living on as a Monster instead? Maybe it was coincidental, but I can’t imagine they minded. Still, they were willing to die to bring freedom to the Monsters, and they seemed to live in harmony with them for...well, it had to be at least a couple of years.

TL;DR: I’m a Chara fan. A major fan, actually. I find them fascinating and I don’t blame them at all for what happens in No-Mercy. I also love the Charrator Theory. Any head-canon is valid, but I really don’t vibe with the idea that Chara is a “demon” child.

#Undertale #Undertale Headcanons #Chara (Undertale)#Chara Dreemurr #Asriel Dreemurr #Asriel (Undertale)#Chara the Fallen Human #Narrator Chara

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ninja-go-to-therapy · 4 years ago

Text

Day 1: Past

@ninjago-angst-week

Reminiscing about the past leads to painful discoveries.

Trigger Warnings: mention of death

This takes place between seasons 2 and 3

1434 words

Zane stared down at his memory switch, his fingers ghosting over it. He would never flip it, of course, but he couldn’t help but think about the two times it had been flipped. The first time by his father, turning Zane into nothing more than a blank slate.

The second time by Zane himself.

He remembered the feeling that had come with the memories that had flooded his mind all at once. It was overwhelming and happy and sad and too much and too little all at the same time. He’d almost wanted to vomit.

He didn’t even know if it was possible for him to vomit, but the feeling had been there all the same.

At the time, he’d been happy to rediscover the life he had once lived, if not shocked. Overwhelmed. But now… now he frequently found himself almost… upset about it.

His father had forced him to forget years of his life, and for what? To spare him the grief? He hadn’t even asked him. He had just… done it.

Zane had never wanted to forget. He had wanted to do so many things, he had wanted to remember his father forever, he had wanted and wanted and wanted.

His father hadn’t cared what he had wanted.

His father had only cared about himself.

No, that was unfair. His father had been dying, he hadn’t been in his right mind. In almost every other memory Zane had of him, his father had been good to him.

But there were times. Fuzzy spots in his memory banks that Zane didn’t like one bit. He hated to think of his father badly, especially now that he was well and truly dead, but… he hadn’t treated Zane well. Not always.

It was a startlingly painful realization to come to.

And the fact that he was a robot, and he just… hadn’t known? It was his own body! How could his father do that to him?

He’d come to terms with it, by now. Lloyd had defeated the Overlord, Zane’s father had died, and life was moving on. Soon, he and his brothers would be teaching young children at a school. He was content. Really, he was.

So why did he feel so… angry?

Yes, he realized, he was angry. He was angry at his father, despite the fact that he was dead. Did that make him a bad person? To hold a grudge against a ghost wouldn’t get him anywhere.

But he didn’t care. It wouldn’t have gotten him anywhere when his father was alive, either. It would never get him anywhere. That only made him angrier.

He didn’t care that he was a robot. He cared that it had taken him so many years to know.

He slid to the floor, suddenly unable to catch his breath.

He needed to clear his head. He needed to… he needed to get out for a bit.

He left a note on the kitchen counter, hastily scribbled in pen. And then he left.

---

Zane didn't quite know what to expect when he docked at the lighthouse. His previous visit had been very short, after all.

He opened the door, expecting to find months worth of dust. He was surprised, to say the least, to find that this was not true. Instead, the area, while it was far from perfect condition, almost looked like it had been in use.

On his guard, now, Zane continued inside. For the sake of whoever had invaded his father's previous home, they better not have still been here.

Almost immediately, he heard a creek from up the stairs. He froze, listening for any other sounds. For a moment, he was almost starting to think he’d imagined it.

And then something clanged.

Zane bolted up the stairs, distantly heating frantic footsteps coming from above.

“Stop!” he yelled, rounding a corner on the staircase.

Whoever it was paid him no attention, they just kept going.

Zane burst into the top room, ready for a fight. Nobody was there.

“Show yourself!” He demanded. “What are you doing in my father’s lighthouse?”

From in the closet, he heard a dull thud.

Before he could get any closer, the door very slowly creaked open.

“Did you say your father?” asked a small, timid voice.

Zane approached, but froze when he saw what almost looked like a mirror image of himself. Only this one was rustier, smaller-looking, and his arm was on the floor beside him.

“Who... who are you?” Zane asked.

“I am Zane, built to protect those who cannot protect themselves. But, father called me Echo.”

His father had built another nindroid. Zane had a brother. And his father had never mentioned him.

“Are you Zane?” Echo asked, unsteadily getting to his feet. Zane nodded numbly. “Oh! Father talked about you all the time! I’m sorry for running before. Father always said I shouldn’t show myself to… visitors.” Echo frowned for a moment, deep in thought. But then he brightened. “Have you brought him with you?”

Their father had died without even telling him of his brother’s existence. Why had he not brought Echo when they had found him initially? He could have rotted here! Probably would have, if Zane hadn’t shown up.

“He has… passed, recently,” Zane said, his heart plummeting even further at the absolutely shattered look on his brother’s face.

Echo must have been waiting every day since their father had left the lighthouse. He must have waited, hoped, truly thought that his father would return. Zane didn’t know how his brother hadn’t lost his mind with all that waiting.

He couldn’t think of that, though. They had too much to talk about.

---

“It’s okay,” Zane said, “they’ll love you.”

The two had talked while packing up the lighthouse, and then the whole way back, too. This time, Zane had personally ensured that nobody was left behind.

“You’re sure?” Echo asked, fidgeting nervously.

Tai-D beeped encouragingly.

Echo gave a small smile. “Okay… okay. If you’re certain.”

“Trust me,” Zane said, giving Echo’s hand a small squeeze. “I am. Wait right here, I will bring you in momentarily.” With that, he slipped through the door.

Echo waited nervously, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Honestly, he was just grateful that all of his limbs were staying attached. Usually by now, he would have at least lost a foot.

Tai-D beeped at him again.

“You think so?” Echo asked, his smile widening when Tai-D beeped again. “Thank you! I’m sure they’ll love you, too.”

The door opened back up, and Zane waved him in with an encouraging smile. Echo took a breath, steeled himself, and entered.

His brother’s friends — the ninja — gasped.

“He looks so much like you!” the one in blue breathed. “Hi! I’m Jay!” he exclaimed, thrusting out his hand excitedly for Echo to shake.

“I am Echo,” he said, shaking Jay’s hand and smiling shyly at all the attention now on him.

The others went around introducing themselves. It was easy to remember some of the names, like Cole. He was the master of earth, so the association made it simple. Lloyd was easy, too, because he liked that it had two Ls.

They were all very friendly, and just as Zane had described them to be. Echo had expected to feel more overwhelmed, but the ninja were so welcoming that, even in the few minutes he’d been here, he felt accepted. He felt happy.

He liked that. He liked feeling happy.

---

Zane was happier than anything that his journey had led him to discovering his brother. But now he just… he just had so many more questions. His father would have mentioned Echo if he’d thought him to be important. Hell, he would have brought him along in the first place when they’d rescued him! So did that mean… his father just didn’t care?

Echo looked just like Zane, even technically shared his name. Was Echo meant to be a replacement? The thought almost sickened him. Had their father ever cared about either of them? Or were they just his little robot projects?

Zane sat down, putting his head in his hands. He was so confused. He wished their father was still alive, if only so he could demand answers.

But Echo… he didn’t want Echo to ever feel like that. Like he wasn’t worth something, like he wasn’t his own person. Zane would keep his brother safe. He wouldn’t let his past define him.

If that meant letting him believe that their father had been a good man? Well, there were worse lies to tell.

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p-and-p-admin · 4 years ago

Photo

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group. (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Oracle Obscured and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

Many readers will know you already and if they don’t I encourage them to look your works up including Teaching Miss Granger and How I learned to love teachers’ meetings

Okay, let’s jump right in.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Hmmm ... that’s kind of a weird answer for me. I wanted to choose a name that didn’t immediately indicate whether I was male or female. I’d noticed a certain freedom afforded to authors of indistinguishable gender. With no societal construct about the “nature” of the creator, the story stood on its own, without prejudice or conditioned expectations.

I brainstormed about six or seven names and then picked the one that appealed to me most. I’ve always felt drawn to the idea of oracles (those who see beyond). And I definitely felt obscured in that department. (Hell, at the time, my whole life felt obscured.)

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

I don’t know if I do. I guess if I had to pick, I’d say Hermione, as I have a tendency to be an obsessive perfectionist when it comes to work/studying. I like to be organized and plan things out. And I can be quite demanding and harsh with myself when I feel like I’m not measuring up to my own insane ideals.

But I took that openpsychometrics.org statistical quiz a while back, where you answer like a bazillion comparison questions (I did the longer version), and my highest HP match was Remus Lupin (83%). Yeah, I can see that.

Luna is my favorite character, but I don’t know if I identify with her more than anyone else.

Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general)

It used to be horror/suspense, but ... I don’t know ... I’m just not as into it anymore. Maybe it’s because the real world is horrifying enough without adding fictional monsters to the mix.

Now I mostly read classics.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

To Kill a Mockingbird.

At what age did you start writing?

Just writing stories in general? Maybe second grade. It wasn’t a passion or anything, just something I was pretty good at. I only really did it at school, though, not so much at home. I read A LOT growing up, so I naturally imagined that I might be an author one day. I tried to write a book when I was about 13 or 14, but less than one chapter in, I decided it was too hard. (I was NOT a Hermione growing up. Planning and perseverance were not my style.)

I took a massive break from thinking after high school (the smorgasbord of medications I was on didn’t like me using my brain too much, and my plans for college went out the window when my depression become unmanageable). I didn’t really start writing again until I was about twenty-seven. That was when I found fanfiction. I consider that when I really started writing.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I found fanfiction while looking for erotica. Needless to say I discovered the motherlode, and I was hooked. Over the years, I’d written bits and pieces of my own sexy scenarios (which is what you do when you grow up without the internet and you have to depend on your imagination for all your kink requirements), but I’d never really thought about taking someone else’s “story world” and using it as my setting. For a little over a year I read/devoured all the HP fanfiction I could, and then I realized I could take all the fantasies in my head and play them out with my favorite characters.

The first story I wrote was a funny/smutty Ginny/Draco thing, and it was HORRIBLE. The story and the sex were fine, but the writing was a nightmare. I submitted it to The Restricted Section, which was the only site I knew at the time, and they vetted their stories, so I had to get approved. They wrote me back saying it needed work and I should get a beta. So I went on the forum and found one (which was rather brave of me now that I think back). The person who helped me must’ve had the patience of a saint, because he/she(?) never said a damn thing about all the mistakes and shitty-ness. Suggestions and corrections were made, and I changed some of the pronouns to names so it wouldn’t sound so repetitive. The next time I submitted it, they accepted, and I got a decent response for a first-time writer (like three or four nice reviews). No one seemed to hate it, and the reviewers said the sex was hot, so I tried again, hoping to do better.

That’s when I wrote the first chapter of Teaching Miss Granger. It started out as just a oneshot. And it got a much better response. I wanted to write more, but I became extremely depressed and lethargic, and I didn’t really do anything for the next six or seven years. (I mean nothing. Unless you consider watching every episode of Law & Order CI and SVU ten times over to be an accomplishment.)

I came back to it years later, intending to add a few chapters to TMG where they have sex, but ... it just sort of evolved into the monster that it is. I worked on it pretty much every day for about a year. I’d never stuck with ANYTHING that long in my entire life.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

I would say love or “the power of love” is probably my favorite theme. But that includes synonyms for love as well. (Like wholeness, which is the theme of Quartet.)

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

None. I like other fandoms, but I don’t write for them, and I don’t usually read their fanfiction.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

I’ve never really thought about changing cannon. I mean, I change it to suit my fictional purposes (like Snape lives etc.), but I wouldn’t want to change canon for real. The deaths in HP serve a purpose, and while I find many of those deaths heartbreaking, that’s kind of the point. Hatred is bleak and destructive, and good people don’t survive wars simply because they’re good; bad things happen to good people all the time. As for changing something about the individual characters, I can’t get behind that either. The reasons people do things are multifaceted and complex and they’re colored by a lifetime of experiences I will never know or understand, so I don’t feel I can really judge. I can’t say I understand all the choices I’ve made in my own life, and there’ve been plenty of times where I had no choice at all. I can’t hold others to more rigorous standards than I myself can meet. We all have our shortcomings. (And that’s cool. Without them, there would be no growth or diversity.)

Do I have a favorite piece of fanon? Hmmm ... probably Head Boy and Head girl rooming together or having private rooms.

Oh! And uniforms.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?

I used to listen to really quiet classical music while wearing headphones. Every little sound in the house distracts me, and I have to block it out. But lately I’ve just been running this old box fan that drowns out the noise.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Crap, I don’t know if I can choose. (Plus I feel like I’ve forgotten a lot of what I’ve read.)

My friend Desert Sea is my fav Hermione/Severus writer. Out of her stories, the ones I like best are In Their Hands and At the Headmaster’s Discretion.

After a brief search of my accounts, I’ll go with:

Do Not Go Gentle by senlinyu

Another Dream by dragoon811

The Last Twenty-Four Hours of Severus Snape by CryingCinderella

Pretty much everything by Aurette

Pet Project by Caeria

Post Tenebras, Lux by Loten

All the SS/HG stuff from snapeslittleblackbuttons

There’s a Teddy Radiator story that I like a lot, but I can’t remember the name of it. (Or what it’s about.) (Yes, very helpful, I know.)

And in a category all it’s own is Farmer Granger and the Most Glorious Cock by MyWitch. (Seriously, I read this like once a month and it makes me laugh every time.)

I read a lot of Drarry too. Drarry stories I love:

Everything by bixgrl1, but especially Balance Imperfect and In Evidence of Magical Theory

Everything by lq_traintracks (even the non-Drarry stuff). The writing is amazing.

I love all the advent stories by Saras_girl.

I like all the Drarry stories I’ve read by Faithwood.

I really like RZZMG’s writing. (No particular story or pairing.)

And I just rediscovered a story I found in 2007 (the first m/m fic I ever read). It’s a Snarry, which I know isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it was excellent. Snape: the Home Fries Nazi by pir8fancier

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I enjoy a bit of both. My oneshots are all pantsed. TMG was totally pantsed. But Getting Personal and Quartet were both plotted and planned. For GP I did sort of a chapter by chapter synopsis before starting my rough draft, and for Q I went into even more detail—EVERYTHING was planned out ahead of time. The only thing that changed during the first draft was I ended up combining some of the chapters.

How does plotting affect my writing process compared to pantsing? It streamlines it. In a oneshot there’s not much to streamline; the basic story (or general idea) is all you really need. There’s not enough story to get muddled. But when I’m writing something longer, with multiple chapters, I find it’s better to know where the story is going. How deeply I go into that planning can vary. Sometimes there’s just a basic outline of the major plot points and then I fly by the seat of my pants from there. Sometimes I write out a very rough synopsis (sort of like a short and loose first draft) and then start writing as if it’s my second draft. Things inevitably get changed once I really start writing, so the planning isn’t set in stone by any means, but when I plan, the story goes in the general direction I intend without veering too far off course and there aren’t any plot holes. After I wrote TMG (with no planning) I saw that there was A LOT I could have cut or combined without affecting anything important. I learned a little more with each story I wrote, and when I got to Q, there was a lot of complicated ideas that I wanted to incorporate, and there were so many characters (and character arcs) going on that I had to plan extensively to make sure everything fit together. If I hadn’t worked it out ahead of time, it would’ve been like throwing a heap of puzzle pieces on the table but not being given a reference picture to know what it was I was working toward.

What is your writing genre of choice?

I have no idea. Plotty sex? Erotic dramady? Some of it is just straight up PWP, but I usually like to have something meaningful in there too.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Usually the answer is whatever I’ve most recently written, as it’s the most likely to represent my current “best.” In terms of writing, I’ll go with A Brush with Magic, but Quartet is probably my best storytelling. A lot went into that (symbolism, planning, obsessive re-writes) and it holds a good deal of personal meaning to me. So, I guess I’ll go with Q due to the time and effort involved.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

The unexpected always crops up (even with all my planning), and it’s the unexpected that makes the magic.

While I had many insights into my own nature while writing Quartet, in the end I think it taught me to trust/listen to myself more.

Later, however, it brought me a very different message. While writing it, I felt a lot of tension and anxiety; I wanted to “do it right” and present my story in the best light. But after some time away, I realized I’d been so worried because I felt as if that story represented me, as if it defined me. And the pressure of being judged worthy or unworthy had been eating me alive.

But I don’t feel that way anymore. Now it’s like I wrote all my stories in another lifetime. While they all might be a snapshot of a fraction of my mind, nothing I create ever says a damn thing about who or what I truly am. Since letting go of that, I’ve found a sense of freedom around writing. I still like to express things as clearly and beautifully as I can, but it’s more a celebration of words than a search for acceptance.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

Quartet was extremely personal to me when I wrote it, and in a lot of ways I think that made it easier to write. When I have to go strictly by imagination, I feel as if I’m missing some depth of understanding (like I’m getting the surface-level stuff, but missing the nuance). When I write from experience, it has an entirely different quality. Richer. More intimate. It’s work to write what I don’t know, but it’s easy to write the truth.

Posting, however, is an entirely different story. Other people don’t always want the truth, and if you feel like your story is an extension of you, it can hurt to have any part of it rejected.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I think everything I’ve ever read or seen has influenced me. In terms of writing, I guess I’d say I’m inspired by beauty in all its forms. When I first started reading fanfiction, I just searched for the kinks I liked; it was all about the sex (with bonus points for having a decent plot). Then one day I read an extremely well-written PWP (I don’t remember what), and the way the author described the sex was so unlike anything I had ever read, it totally blew my mind. It was art. Exquisite art. And before that, I didn’t know sex could be art. That author didn’t just recount the characters’ actions, they painted a word masterpiece—they turned porn into poetry. THAT was what I wanted in my life. And I didn’t know it until that moment.

Books/authors that stick with me:

The Harry Potter series (obviously).

Shel Silverstein (Love the poetry, but The Giving Tree is one of my favorite books of all time.)

Dr. Seuss (Always.)

Judy Blume (I still have my copy of Are You There God it’s Me Margaret from when I was, like, 10. Tiger Eyes is my favorite of hers.)

R.L. Stine (I got hooked prior to the creation of the Goosebumps series, but I had EVERY Fear Street Book he wrote when I was in middle school.)

Weekend by Christopher Pike (This was the first YA thriller I ever read. *Sigh* memories. I still have my original copy, and I still read it every once in a while. The characters and plot are great.)

Stephen King (Carrie is my fav.)

Anne Rice (I’ve read all the vampire and witch books, but The Witching Hour is the only one I’ve read multiple times. Blackwood Farm is my next favorite.)

To Kill a Mockingbird

Charles Dickens (David Copperfield is my fav.)

Jane Austen (I can’t pick between Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility.)

Thomas Harris (Brilliant writing, and Hannibal might be one of the most intriguing anti-heros ever.)

Stieg Larsson (Another brilliant writer with a brilliant character.)

The Giver by Lois Lowry (I haven’t read the rest of the trilogy. And I haven’t seen the movie. I refuse to besmirch my childhood love with Hollywood’s interpretation.)

Bridge to Terabithia (This book devastated me as a child.)

Gillian Flynn (Sharp Objects is my fav.)

Liane Moriarty (I like all of her books, especially Big Little Lies. The way she plays with the timeline is masterful.)

Frank Herbert’s Dune. (I grew up on this. It’s my dad’s all-time favorite book. And, yes, we’re looking forward to the new movie.)

Margaret Atwood (The Handmaid’s Tale is horrifyingly wonderful. And Atwood herself is fascinating. Watch her Masterclass if you get the chance.)

Steinbeck’s East of Eden (This might be my second favorite book.)

The Lucifer Effect by Phillip Zimbardo (This isn’t fiction, but it was the first book that really affected the way I see the world.)

Eisler’s The Chalice and the Blade (Also not fiction. If you’re interested in the divine feminine and a more egalitarian society, this is the book for you.)

Loving What Is by Byron Katie (The only self-help book that’s ever actually helped me.)

Daphne Du Maurier (I love Rebecca, but she also has a story called “The Blue Lenses” that isn’t really intended to be scary, but it freaked me the fuck out.)

The Secret History by Donna Tartt (Gorgeous writing, and the plot left me seriously disturbed.)

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (Gah! I love this. The writing and the story and the characters and EVERYTHING!)

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (I Bradbury’s writing style, but the plot of F451 is pure horror for any book hoarder lover.)

The Lord of the Flies by William Golding (This might be my third favorite book ever. No, wait, I might like it better than East of Eden. I can’t choose!)

The Diary of Anne Frank (How in the hell could anyone read this and not be affected by it?)

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

No. This is my own private world, and I like it that way.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

Very. I write what I want to read. There are certain adjustments I make when I write for other people as opposed to what I do when writing strictly for myself, but nothing major. I refuse to write things I have no interest in, and I don’t write to make people happy. I write to please myself. (But it’s nice when what pleases me pleases others. It’s wonderful to share that connection.)

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I like hearing from my readers. I don’t have a lot of time to interact, but I like talking to my audience and listening to their insights. I try to reply to all the comments I get on AO3 (it’s just too hard on FFN). And when I have free time (which isn’t often) I check my FB groups to see what’s going on. To me, the interaction kind of completes the creative cycle; it helps me set the story free and allow it to be. It really belongs to the reader once I’ve published, and it’s nice to see the ripples creativity creates.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Unless it’s absolutely necessary, stop using the word “was.” Completely changed my writing.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

It doesn’t really happen that much, as I usually know where I’m going with my story, but there can be glitches between scenes or times when I can’t find the words for something (like ending a chapter). When that happens, I usually just leave it and come back later—I can’t force it if it won’t come.

If I really need to get it done for some reason, I read what I have over and over, adding a little bit more each time, trying out words that “sound right” and building what I need bit by bit. What I come up with isn’t always right or what I want, but at least I have something to work with. Sometimes seeing what’s wrong makes what you want more obvious.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yeah, just about everything Sex, depression, anxiety, personal growth, likes/dislikes, insights, interests, philosophy, all my little neuroses. Every once in a while I’ll even include some dialogue from real life.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I’m juggling about five long stories right now (plus a couple oneshots). And I haven’t worked on any of them in ages. I don’t know what’s going on with me; I’m just not in the mood. I don’t want to say what they are, as I might never finish them. (Two are Drarry and three are Sevmione. One is a compilation of oneshots. Four of them are completely planned out and just need to be written. The unplanned Drarry was always just meant to be for myself and I doubt I’ll ever release it.)

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Yes. Enjoy the whole writing/creative process as much as possible. Try not to beat yourself up, and don’t try to force yourself to be better. You will naturally get better the more you write. Change is inevitable; allow it to happen. Read books about writing, and read good writers. Notice what brings you the most pleasure when you read and tap into that same pleasure when you write. Play with words and ideas just for fun. Watch and see what appears. There is no perfect.

If you’re writing about sex (because I get asked about that a lot), write what turns YOU on. Don’t try to be sexy. Don’t try to write what you think other people want to hear. Don’t worry about what other people think (at least in the first draft). If they don’t like it they can go read something else. But if YOU like it, it will shine through in your writing, and that will have a bigger impact on your reader than any activity you describe. Also, the physicality is only a fraction of the sexual experience. Don’t turn your sex scenes into a play-by-play. You’re not really writing about what the characters are doing so much as how what they’re doing affects them. It’s a personal experience, and the more personal you make it (the more honest and vulnerable you are as a writer) the more satisfying the story will be for your reader. Wise words! Thank-you so much for speaking with us today Oracle Obscured.

#snamione #writing #fanfiction #fanfic

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pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years ago

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AWAE 2x7 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

This was pretty much my favourite episode of the entire series before season 3 came along, so I’m really excited to watch it again. Let’s dive in:

Ok, that was a really weird (and short) cold open. I don’t really know what to say. Moving on.

Seriously, what just happened to Marilla? And how often has it been happening?

Yeah, as if Phillips would give extra lessons to anyone but Prissy. Also, Gilbert is right about him not caring much about teaching. People like Phillips have no place being teachers.

Bringing up Gilbert’s father, whose passing I’m pretty sure he’s aware of? How dare he? I hate that dirt-bag excuse of a man.

Oh, you’re going to the ball, dear Cinderella... I mean, you are going to the party, dear DiAnne! And you’ll be bringing someone else, too.

Speaking of someone else, poor Cole is still struggling with his art after Billy’s horrendous deed. Emotionally, mostly. But burning his drawings is not the answer. Never.

‘Cole is a man!’ Yes he is, that’s what I’ve been saying for I don’t know how long now. I’m glad someone’s finally noticed. I’ve got to say this scene reminded me a tiny bit of HP and the Goblet of Fire where Ron finally realised Hermione was a girl. But it’s different. In a good way, of course.

I love their, well, Anne’s, plan so much. I just do and I don’t really know why. But Marilla’s worsening headaches and her calling Matthew ‘Michael’ are worrying me so much. The Cuthberts do have their own trauma, they do. It seems everyone does in this series.

Of course Matthew allows it. In Matthew we trust. They’re going! Of course, I knew they were, but that doesn’t make it any less exciting. See, that’s the thing about favourites - they make you feel the same emotions every time that they did the first time you experienced them. And isn’t that the most wonderful thing?

Marilla seems to be reminded of her own childhood and how she didn’t have the chance to experience such wonderful things as Anne gets to. But Anne’s had her share of traumatic experiences. She deserves this.

Hero is right. Cole is one and he’ll get back to his art soon enough. And he’s just arrived in what will end up being his new home thanks to the amazing Aunt Josephine.

Anne’s finally realised what Josephine had with Gertrude and her reaction is absolutely lovely. I knew it would be. In fact, I knew it the very first time I watched it. Here’s a note I wrote to myself all the way back then: Anne is so open- minded and finds it all but strange that aunt Josephine had a romantic relationship with Gertrude, while Diana’s conservative upper-class upbringing seems to get in her way of accepting it… but she’ll get around to it. What I really would like, however, is that Cole would eventually come out to Anne first, I mean they confide in each other in a way few others do, and she’s, at least the way I see it, the best person to come out to considering how she views Josephine and Gertrude’s relationship.

The party looks so beautiful, it makes me want to draw it. I probably will - just like I did last week with Diana the magnificent fairy queen. This show is so inspiring. In fact, my first ever drawing that I posted here was based on this episode and this party. Here’s a link: https://pluviophile-bookworm.tumblr.com/post/187379899979/i-dont-really-draw-but-i-was-just-rewatching-my Hey, this also means I’ve seen this episode more times than any other AWAE episode! It’s clearly my favourite - well, now it’s second to 3x5, but we’ll see what happens when I rewatch that one.

‘If it were agreeable to my husband’... poor Diana really needs more of her aunt’s influence. How lovely it would be for her to become a pianist... or a scholar, or what she desires. Not necessarily a wife unless it’s to someone she truly loves and who truly loves her.

The girl with the pixie cut who complimented Anne’s might have just made her day. At least it would have made mine.

If these people calling Cole ‘farm boy’ did something good, it must have been decorating him with their scarves and pearls. I love this look on him.

If not pixie-cut girl, Sunflower-man made Anne’s day and I’m so glad something finally did. If someone could only tell her how beautiful she looks...

I feel like I would have loved Gertrude if I had known her... and that woman who said she and Jo were her romantic ideal... there should be more like her in the world.

Josephine and Cole dancing together warms my heart so much! And what warms it even more is knowing they’ll be a family, a loving, beautiful found family as they both deserve. I’m not crying, you are.

Poor Marilla is still struggling with her past and her headaches, and Matthew is trying to do the best he can to help, but there’s not much to be done when one refuses to be helped. And dear Matthew seems to have trauma of his own. ‘Doesn’t she love us too?’ Heartbreaking.

Marilla’s thinking of Anne like a true mother, and though it breaks my heart when she says ‘I won’t be a burden to Anne.’, it also warms it to think she feels so responsible for her new daughter.

I wish dear Diana would be more accepting of her aunt...s. I suppose they were both her aunts in a way. In their own way they were married after all.

The artist who reassures Cole means so much to me for it. And the way she seems to know Anne after only having met her for a while... also, ‘Cole the artist’ - yes, he is that. I love that woman although I don’t even know her. She made Cole smile for the first time this evening.

I’m just imagining Anne in her puff sleeves and a top hat... magnificent. I might try to draw that sometime.

Oh, Diana, just because something is kept secret doesn’t mean it’s wrong! It might just be that people aren’t ready for it yet, and I’m sad for the people. Not for Jo and Gertrude. Not for Cole. For those who aren’t ready to accept that love is love in all shapes and forms.

‘broken, defective, unnatural...’ is that what Cole thinks about himself? I so hope it’s not. And I so hope he finds a man someday who makes him feel like Jo and Gertie had. He deserves it.

Here’s a note on this next moment from the time I saw it first: Oh my, oh my! He came out to Josephine first! I think it’s just as beautiful as had it been Anne, and the way he spoke of it to Anne and Diana first, although he didn’t confess anything, was so beautiful, deep and meaningful. Seriously, the way this series portrays things that are ahead of their time in the chronological context of the plot... that is so beautiful that I can’t even describe it… Anne with an E is my aesthetic… and one of the reasons I rediscovered my fondness of the colour orange which I previously disliked… just… so deep and aesthetically elevating. Ok, that last part had nothing to do with Cole or Josephine or coming out, but it’s truly what I think and it belongs here.

Matthew finally speaks up and it’s so powerful when a quiet person raises their voice. ‘She had other children. We all lost Michael.’

‘You missed me?’ But of course she did, she’s your mother now. I love the found family trope. And Marilla looks lovely with that flower crown.

‘[Love] can come in so many forms.’ This series teaches the proper values. I love it for that. #renewannewithane

‘The good doctor’. However demeaningly this was meant to be, it describes Gilbert so perfectly, and his response (‘and I managed to learn that with no extra time from you.’) was so absolutely great. Thanks, I love it.

‘You’ll get there, if you know where your passions lead you.’ That was a beautiful underrated Shirbert moment.

The pen of possibility. How lovely. This episode ended on just the right not and it’s just such a favourite of mine, I don’t even know what more to say. let’s just end here. Roll the recaps.

Let’s sum up: Marilla has headaches and flashbacks; Anne’s pen of duplicity concocts the perfect lie... fib; Cole struggles to get back into art; ‘Cole is a man!’ and so he and Anne and Diana get to go to Aunt Josephine’s party; Josephine and Gertrude are a romantic ideal; the perfect summer soiree in the middle of winter; Cole the farm-boy goes back to being Cole the artist thanks to a mysterious sculptor woman at the party; he comes out to Josephine, then to Anne and Diana; love is beautiful in every shape and form; the good doctor shoots for the stars on his own, thank you very much, Phillips (not!); the pen of possibility.

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moonlightreal · 4 years ago

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Fate Episode One

At long last, it’s tiiiiiime!

First: whitewashing bad. Fact acknowledged. Everybody else has said everything on the subject (ad nauseum...) so no reason to say it all again!

I’m diving in with questions. The main one is “Will there be a good reason for Musa to be a mind fairy rather than a music fairy?” Dunno why that’s what I’m wondering the most, but it is. There’s also “Is Fate!Stella truly an unholy union of Stella and Diaspro?” and “so what makes them fairies not witches/psychics/mutants?” and “So what’s up with Beatrix? We know nothing about her, and as an Umineko fan I’m favorably disposed towards witches named Beatrice!” and also “They’re not really having sex are they?!”

I’m going to try and approach Fate just like I do every season of the cartoon, ready to celebrate the good, snark at the bad, enjoy many headcanons, reference random stuff, and have a good time. Pretending I haven’t had my fannish heart nigh to broken by the state of the fandom and that I’m worried I’ll get hate for even posting this. I’m’a try to start from zero to find my own answer the really big question… “Good, bad, or totally irredeemable?”

So… In which we discover a new world.

We start with… a night scene. Not promising when “too dark can’t see” is one of my pet peeves! An old fella comes out to check on his cute Irish sheep. He passes through the barrier, into the dangerous forest beyond to look for a missing sheep. Yup, he’s gonna be guest victim in the first five minutes.

Oh no! Something has disemboweled a sheep and left it hanging in a tree! Clearly there are leopards in the magical realm!

There is a great roar and an unseen but very large-sounding beast chases our poor shepherd! The guy trips and falls just as he’s about to get through the barrier and is set upon and devoured by the unseen beast! Blood spatters the rocks!

Opening! It’s the wings we’ve sen and some really beautiful music. One point for the music.

Then a gorgeous flying shot of the outside of the barrier and Alfea. Whatever the plot turns out to be, the outdoor setting is beautiful. Music that seems to be both pop and edgy plays as we zoom in on the logo on the gate, and there’s Bloom coming in the gate.

And there’s Terra with her father and a tray full of plants.

And there’s Aisha walking by with her dreads

And there’s Stella taking a selfie with other students.

And there’s Musa leaning on her suitcase, headphones on, looking at her phone. Another girl says something to Musa and she turns and replies and smiles.

And there’s one of the guys twirling a knife. I’ve heard Sky starts out in a pink shirt so this must be Riven. The camera comes back to Bloom as she gives him a doubtful look. In the novelization she’s mentally labeling him an edgelord, and that kinda fits. Any dude showing off his willingness to twirl weapons at a high school probably is best avoided—except the dudes here are training to fight so the weapons rules must be different. I wonder if Bloom knows yet that dudes with swords are normal here.

Bloom gets a text to meet Stella at the gate. She waits.

Camera pan to Sky talking to another guy. Sky looks… Sky-ish. Chris Evans style handsome, blond. I’d’ve made him grow his hair to mimic cartoon Sky’s silly shaggy haircut, but points for making Sky look like Sky! Minus points for not dying Riven maroon. They could’ve made it work!

Sky is indeed wearing a pink shirt. In the novelization Bloom thinks he’s wearing it “because gender roles were for the weak” which is a line I think is funny and intend to use in a story somewhere. There is no obvious hint in the show that Sky thinks gender roles are for the weak

Bloom’s tired of waiting. She heads off. Sky ditches his buddy to go meet her. “Wow, you are so lost. I’m impressed with your confidence in the face of complete ignorance. Issue is, you’re overcomitted. You’re essentially running. And now that I’m here you can’t possibly give me the satisfaction of turning around.” he says, all in one go.

I can’t decide if that’s jerkish or charming. Maybe Bloom shares my weakness for men with accents because she decides on charming.

Bloom says she’s a fairy, giggles because that’s something she never thought she’d say, they’re standing in the courtyard of a college for fairies, Bloom’s from California, not the Otherworld. So we get all that established. Sky is kinda charming here and points out the specialists’ hall and fairy hall.

Sky: “I’d be happy to-”

Bloom: “Mansplain it?”

So the writing team does know some modern issues! Bloom says Sky seems like a mansplainer, which seems like quite a leap since she is new and he is helping her, in a friendly-sarcastic kind of way. She’s giggling, clearly charmed.

Then Riven comes up, and he’s like a foot shorter than Sky, and Bloom escapes for some reason so maybe she wasn’t enjoying the conversation as much as it looked? Or maybe it was just the plot needs to move along. Riven glomp-hugs Sky. He’s got a great accent too.

Bloom must’ve left because she saw Stella, they say hello. Bloom says she got impatient waiting and Stella says, “How very American of you” So American stereotypes are known in magical worlds also?

So, Stella! Blonde, tall, zero Stella vibe. Accent. Long pale coat and a satiny top with big chunky pendant. She gets to her ring quick, “Portal ring, the only thing that keeps me sane in this place is the ability to leave it. Your world may not always be thrilling but it beats this one. There are seven realms in the Otherworld, each a different kind of boring.” All spoken in a jaded monotone. Ugh, what have they done to our Stella!

The girls walk inside while Stella speaks, the school is pale stone and arches and plants. Other students are arriving, hauling suitcases, hugging. At least some of them seem happy to be here!

Cut to the globe! and it’s a magical globe, the water moves and there are lil sailing ships! But the lands are totally blank, so it’s a cheap magic globe Dowling didn’t pay enough for the one with tiny forests too. Alfea is in the realm of Solaria.

Maybe they shouldn’t have made Ireland = Solaria. I’ve only been to England but we did not see the sun the whole trip! Bloom’s in Dowling’s really cool office. She spins the globe but the camera pans away before we see the names of the other realms. Bloom’s talking nervously about seeing people updating their insta stories, expecting Tinkerbells, and the lack of wings.

Dowling: “We had wings in the past. As we’ve evolved, transformation magic has been lost. Tink was an air fairy, you’re a fire fairy.”

Dowling says classes tomorrow, learn to use magic slowly but safely… we establish Bloom is here to learn to control her magic so she can go home and not keen on ‘slow.’ Dowling says, ‘trust the process’ which immediately makes me mistrust her.

Then she gives a great lil speech: “Alfea’s graduates have ruled realms and led armies. They have forged powerful relics and rediscovered long lost relics. They shape the otherworld.”

But Bloom just wants to get done and go home. She says, ‘I'm here because you promised you’d teach me control.” and Dowling says, ‘no, you’re here because you knew you have no other choice.” and Bloom looks betrayed.

Yeah Dowling’s sus.

Next scene: Bloom showing her dorm to her parents over video call! How does that work between dimensions? Her folks look nothing like Mika and Vanessa, dad’s got a beard and silver temples, mom’s got big blonde curls. Neither of them have burn injuries or the sort of freaked out vibe I’d expect from folks whose house was just on fire.

Roommate pan-around! Terra puts potted plants everywhere! Stella preens at the vanity! Musa headphones-and-laptop but smiles at Terra. Aisha comes in with her laundry bag.

Bloom’s parents get suspicious about the timezone thing, they think Bloom’s in the Alps, and Aisha comes and covers for her saying it’s time for lights out.

Aisha intro! She is wearing a pink and brown checkered dress that’s not super fashionable or flattering. I like her blue braids though. Aisha does not seem to have the accent that many Alfeans have.

Bloom explains the “human parents, fairy daughter, I must be a throwback to an ancestor” thing. Aisha looks dubious. Then they mention Harry Potter!

Bloom; ‘Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin.’

Aisha; ‘Explains the lies then. Gryffindor.’

Bloom: ‘Explains the judgment.’

Congrats, you both were jerks in three short lines. 9_9 But they’re smiling so I guess it’s friendly sniping.

Bloom goes to see Stella, who’s holding up sparkly tops to herself. She’s also got this weird rainbow skirt that looks like gymnastics clothes not real clothes. Stella’s changing for the party because people have already seen her in her clothes. Bloom asks confused, ‘People expect you to wear multiple outfits?’ and Stella comes back with, ‘people expect me to care how I look.” In the same jaded monotone.

Before Bloom can WTF outta there like a sensible person Stella snaps her fingers and creates a ball of light. Bloom gapes, but not nearly as much as I feel like she should. The magic is beautiful, it’s all rainbowy and sparkly. Bloom just hesitantly asks, ‘Can I ask, how exactly you..?” and Stella shuts her down with an almost kind, “I’m a mentor, not a tutor.”

But she does give a little infodump. “Fairy magic is tied to emotion. God thoughts, bad, hatred, fear, the stronger the emotion the stronger the magic.”

And Bloom says, ‘Do you hate me or fear me? You were looking at me when you did that. And I’m pretty sure you don’t love me.” Smart cookie, Bloom! Points to you! We know it’s because Bloom was talking to sky, and that gives Stellla some emotions.

And points to Stella, she thaws out her voice and talks like a real person, ‘I don’t know you. I’m sure once I do I’ll find something to love.” She sounds rather doubtful about the last bit but yay actual emotion!

Then Stella goes over to Terra for her intro scene and I cringe because the novelization did Terra dirty and I’m not keen to see it on screen. But it works ok. Stella gently calls Terra on the number of houseplants and says the secret garden was better kept secret, Terra responds that wasn’t really the message of the book, Stella looks at her with amused patience and leaves Musa and Terra to continue the scene. And I decide if there’s no infodump about how earth and the Otherworld relate to each other in this show I shall be cross.

Then Terra chatters on about her family and how she grew up at Alfea since her dad works here (she’s holding a 100% fake plant) and drops that Stella is a second year. Musa asks why a second-year is in a first-year suite and Terra says it’s some administrative thing probably best not to mention. But Terra totally knows the secret.

Musa’s eyes glow purple. Magic! But we don’t hear what she hears. She starts putting her headphones on. Terra goes on to say they should all not mention it to Stella, then interrupts another headphones-attempt to offer Musa a succulent, “They’re low maintainence, perfect for you, not that I really know you...’

Musa: ‘If I take it will you stop talking?”

Terra visibly deflates and Musa apologizes and grabs the succulent before finally getting to escape into music.

Aisha leans in to ask Terra if Alfea has a pool. It has a river and Aisha’s been swimming—twice a day every day! Terra says no pool, just the pond where the specialists train but nobody swims there, at least not on purpose.

And we immediately cut out to the pond, which looks pretty mucky, I wouldn’t want to swim there either! Two specialists, a boy and a girl, are whacking away at each other with wooden swords on the shore. They’re all dressed in black pants and tank tops, very Divergent movie poster except with the Alfea logo on the front. There’s a bunch of specialists training all around the pond and one does indeed knock their opponent in with a splash! But we home in on Sky and Riven and I cannot get over how short and skinny Riven is compared to Sky! And the fact that I’ve just been rewatching Lord of the Rings and Riven doesn’t look 100% not like Dominic Monaghan… sorry Riven’s actor, I’m sure in future episodes I’ll stop thinking you’re a hobbit!

Anyway, Riven’s teasing Sky about his crush on Bloom, says Sky always goes for the crazy ones and all redheads are crazy. Sky puts Riven on the mat and Riven says he was getting high all summer and not practicing. Before Sky can give him a “big brother speech” on that riven skedaddled because here comes the teacher with a different speech!

This show’s Codatorta, whose name is Silva and who looks very irish and I like him, does a little speech about how y’all gotta train, singles out a black guy I think is Dane and says, ‘even you will be able to fight like him.” and attacks Sky, who fights back. They spar for a minute.

Infodump: “Sky’s father was Andreas of Eraklyon, that makes him a legacy.” Also, some of these kids are from families of specialists and some were selected by Silva based on their talent for combat and weaponry. “This place will seem like hell until actual hell comes. We are the first line of defense, a certainty when the future is uncertain!’

Then Dane snickers about the whole ‘school full of kids with swords’ and Silva says it must be nice to be so ‘soft’ he can make fun. And Dane drops that the barrier exists ‘to protect the school from Burned Ones.”

As he says it, we cut to Sky going out through the barrier to smoke.

Burned ones are gone. But Silva saw one when he was a kid. His father shot it but was killed by the Burned One’s poison. Burned Ones are inhumanly strong and fast, and have a terrible poison, or disease that kills people who get away.

Sky looks over and sees the shepherd’s body. Yikes!

Cut to the staff arriving to look at the remains. Just three: Dowling, Codatorta, and Terra’s dad. Is that the whole staff? Who teaches? Could’ve been a wolf or a bear… Terra’s dad collects some gunk from the body and I think calls it “char residue.”

Dowling says, “She killed all the Burned Ones.”

She? This world’s Marion/Daphne, likely.

But the adults clean it up so the kids can party! Our girls are gathered around the food, and they’re better dressed! Aisha’s got her hair up and a blue hoodie, Musa’s got a little red coat. Terra has not been blessed by the fashion fairy, she’s in some overalls it looks like, not flattering. Terra is saying hopefully that maybe the shepherd died of old age and Musa’s ‘Yeah, that old age decapitation” is gentle ribbing not cruel.

Aisha’s loading up a stack of cookies, says how much she eats and, ‘If I didn’t swim I’d be massive.” it’s not aimed at Terra , but Terra flinches. Aisha heads off and Terra says something that boils down to, ‘Musa, you’re tuning out me in particular.” which, Terra you’ve known Musa for what, six hours? Way too short a time to take it personal. Musa says, ‘It’s a me thing, it’s not you.” and Terra just flusters and heads away. Musa looks troubled but not sure what to do and puts her headphones on.

This is SO much better than in the book. Not perfect, all the interactions between the girls have been very weird as if they’ve been given a script full of cruel catty lines and instructed to say them in a kind way, but at least they’ve tried for the vibe of “trying to be nice to people we don’t know yet and flubbing it” rather than “we are all terrible people” like I feared.

Terra meets her dad and tries to go to the greenhouse with him but he makes her stay to enjoy the party.

Cut to some grownup dude—Dowling’s secretary? Apparently searching for something in a desk that I presume is outside the headmistress’ office.

Beatrix… or possibly a gothed-up Bloom… comes to see Dowling and when told the headmistress isn’t in says, ‘I’ll just take a water, room temp, thanks love.’ and then when the door opens Beatrix greets Dowling with a simpering ‘I'm your biggest fan, I’m obsessed with Alfea...” and cascading apologies for swearing, with more swearing. Dowling and her secretary are as confused by this as I am but Dowling says Beatrix can study the history of Alfea in the library if she wants to. I assume this is evil Beatrix slyly getting permission to hit the books. Is Beatrix even a student at Alfea?

Cut to Bloom’s notebook, she’s already started taking notes about powers being linked to emotions, love hate and fear. Great initiative Bloom, but are there no textbooks you could be reading ahead in?

We get dumped back to a flashback: Bloom’s mom wants her to go out on a Saturday night, to a party or a movie or whatever teen thing. All Bloom wants to do is go to antique sales apparently. Bloom doesn’t want to be a “basic bitch” like her mom and her mom doesn’t want her daughter to be a “weird loner.”

Pause while I urban dictionary “basic bitch.” Huh. Not a term I ever heard in my circle of nerds.

Bloom and her mom are awful to each other. Back in the present Bloom’s eyes flame up as she remembers. She decides it’s time to go experiment! Right now! Before even one day of magic class or one page of a textbook! The idiot ball has entered play.

Night has fallen because of course it has. Bloom runs into Sky at the party. But she’s not looking to party, she’s looking for a place to be alone outside. Sky directs her to beyond the barrier, because we’re about to have Plot. If it weren’t for Plot I‘m sure Sky could’ve suggested a specialist workout area inside the barrier. Sky says there might be wolves or bears or “maybe something much scarier” and Bloom catches the idiot ball and says, ‘But no people? Perfect!”

Sky offers to go with her but Bloom says no thanks in a “I think you may be flirting and I may be down for that in the future just not right now.” kind of a way. Good character interaction! Except Stella grabs Sky for a chat once Bloom heads out to meet the Plot.

Sky and Stella have an opaque exchange that really just establishes they have a past of some sort that everyone knows about because everyone stares—or at least Stella thinks everyone is staring. I’m starting to feel weirdly sorry for this Stella who has none of her namesake’s sparkle and confidence. Why does she think all the realms are boring? Is she ever enthusiastic?

...wait, it’s still day! Why was it night inside?? This show is weird about lighting. Gosh Ireland is beautiful! Where’s this castle they got to be Alfea? Can I go there? This FOREST! It is a fully magical forest. Aisha is swimming in the river, with goggles and a cap but Bloom heads into the amazing forest. Good music here too! Forests and magic and music, come on Fate you CAN be a good show, I believe in you! Just put down the idiot ball and step away... Bloom goes through the barrier and outside it sees a swirl of orange and white sparkles in the air. She watches it and laughs and then hikes through a little more forest.

Finding a clearing Bloom calls her fire. At first she can’t, then she looks through the pictures on her phone looking for emotion. “Pictures of my sad teenage years are not happy thoughts. Noted.” She says with an angsty little smile. Then there’s a photo of the burned out house. She zooms in and stares at it taking in all the details. And we get flashbacks to the line of fire racing towards her parents’ bed.

Fire! Bloom turns her handful of fire this way and that, delighted, then tries for two hands. This is the scene from the trailer, playing with fire. Good music here. And good that Bloom thought the magic was neat… uuuuntil she realizes she doesn’t know how to put it out. She freaks out and waves her hands around trying to blow out the flames.

Aisha comes to the rescue and says dumb things like, “You’re losing control.” and “If you get angry at me...” and Bloom does get angry and throws lines of fire right at Aisha. Who looks terrified. Sensibly, but also has she never seen fire magic before? She grew up in a magic realm, does she know nothing about how to help someone get control? Is control taught to magical babies so teenagers rarely see someone wigging out? But if magic is emotion then everyone will lose control sometime since we all get upset. How does an emotion=magic society function?

Anyway. aisha pulls water up from the ground and puts out the flames.

Inside Aisha gives Bloom what for about losing control. Including, “Is that American for sorry I almost set you on fire?” Srsly, this show is Irish people and Italians stealth throwing shade at Americans! *Laughs in January 2021* Bloom retorts that she went away from people to experiment for just that reason, and tells Aisha about not having had fairy parents or any magical experience.

Aisha responds with the story of flooding her school including the toilets and having to wade through poo. (I also tend to call it poo, after watching Mike Rowe. I wonder if they watch Dirty Jobs in the Otherworld.)

And Bloom tells her story. Bloom isn’t a cheerleader, she likes antiques and staying home by herself, so she and her mom don’t get along. Her parents removed her door, which is awful! And Bloom got flamey eyes and sent fire straight at her parents while they slept. While Bloom sat on her bed in a rage trance. Understandable level of fury after that fight. And Bloom feels awful, also understandable. And she snuck out to sleep in a creepy warehouse to protect her parents. Her folks didn’t know it was her of course, they don’t know about magic.

Aisha says that beats her flood story, but Aisha is also wondering about something. “You drew on a good deal of magic without even trying. it’s hard to believe you’re from a dormant bloodline. Is there any chance you’re adopted?”

Bloom laughs. Then says she heard the story of her birth a million times, she was a miracle baby diagnosed with a heart defect but then after birth her heart was fine.

Aisha: “Oh god, you’re a changeling!” … ‘It’s barbaric and it barely ever happens anymore….”

Bloom has had enough and just says, “why would you even tell me that?” and leaves. Musa comes over and asks Aisha what she said. Aisha: “The truth. Because someone’s been lying to her.”

Cut to Dowling, lookin’ sus!

This changeling thing had better be fully explained later. Why was it done in the past? Why is it considered barbaric? What happened to the parents’ real kid? I assume she died of the heart condition, but that’s a bigole dangling bit of Plot. In the unlikely event that Fate goes for many seasons that baby will turn up with magic too or as a specialist or something.

Dowling pours tea. Then she telekinetically locks her office door and opens a secret passage! Dowling is sus.

Back at the party, where it again seems to be night. Dane is leaning on a column hangin out when here comes Riven with a flask! He offers, Dane says no thanks, Riven says, ‘There are two types of first-years: pussies and aspiring former pussies.” and pours the entire flask’s worth of booze into Dane’s cup anyway.

Dane says something about, “It feels like less a binary choice and more like a spectrum.” And points for the actor delivering this line like it’s a sarcastic comment on social juscice-ness rather than the large sign saying “Dane is not straight!’ that the writers intended. Dane drinks, makes a face, and Riven bullies him into drinking the rest, tipping the glass so Dane chokes.

Terra rides to the rescue, “Bullying the first-years? Can you be more basic?” and Riven says Dane was into it which he wasn’t.

Terra: “Thinks he’s some badass but you should’ve seen him last year he was just a tragic nerd in disguise.”

Riven: “And she’s just three people in disguise.”

Dane does call Riven out on that bit of nastiness but Terra just does a great lil speech and strangles Riven with vines. Thought I’d hate that but I kinda liked it. Go Terra. Then she introduces herself to Dane, says that wasn’t a great first impression but Dane says he’s about to make an impression by throwing up after a single drink, and Terra hurries him away presumably to the nurse.

Bloom google-imaged changelings! Lotsa woodcuts, someone’s fanart entitled “horror of fairy babies.’ There’s more nuance to it than that… Bloom looks at a family photograph.

There’s Stella, coming to be sympathetic? Nope, she’s coming to conivingly advance the plot! “You know there’s no shame in that, wanting a normal life, wanting to be home...”

When the girls get back Bloom is nowhere to be found. Musa mind-reads that Stella is wracked with guilt, They put it together, Bloom was talking to Sky and now she’s gone. Apparently Stella did something nasty to the last girl who talked to Sky. Terra is kinda straight up badass. Stella confesses, she kindly loaned Bloom the portal ring so she could go back to “the first world” but to use it Bloom has to go deep into the forest outside the barrier to a door in a graveyard.

Portal’s super low special effects, Bloom pushes open a door in a cemetary, the ring glows, and Bloom walks into what must be the warehouse she hid out in.

It’s very dark inside both buildings but away from the cemetary it seems to still be day so we can see a Burned One’s shadow coming towards the portal. Day and night seem to depend on location in this show, and anywhere you need a monster it’s gonna be dark! Bloom seems to leave the magic portal open and we see her step out on the warehouse into a weirdly well-lit night on earth.

Real actual nighttime on earth. Bloom walks to her parents’ house and calls them from outside. Her dad’s surprised she called twice in one day. This call her folks seem just worried and nice, not awful like they were in the flashback. Bloom cries. She can’t ask her parents about the changeling thing. Her mom says very kind, ‘Your path isn’t like mine or your father’s but I can’t wait to see who you become.” Bloom hangs up and cries and watches her parents in their house, then walks back to the warehouse to return to Alfea.

But first we get to see where she was camping! In a little office in the warehouse. She brought a lot of stuff, bedding and pictures for the walls and everything. She opens a notebook and we see that she was experimenting already, discovered she was fireproof, wondered if she had superpowers. Then she senses something and looks out through an interior window into the rest of the warehouse.

Yikes! it’s a Burned One!

Bloom staggers back, trips, and drops Stella’s ring down a grate in the floor.

Bloom’s never heard of Burned Ones at this point but she knows a monster when she sees one. She cowers, back to the wall. The Burned One breaks through the window and tries to grab her!

Bloom escapes into some kind of tunnel, I guess she opened the grate that the ring fell through? It’s not totally clear. There’s the ring, on the other side of a different grate or screen, Bloom can’t reach it, there’s lots of roaring, Bloom runs like hell!

And there’s Dowling! She says, ‘don’t stop now.’ and gestures Bloom through the door back to the cemetery. The door closes behind her. Terra, Musa and Aisha are waiting to make sure Bloom’s ok. Bloom says the Burned One got the ring.

Stella, meanwhile, is on Sky’s bed when he comes out of the shower! Dressed, at least.

Sky is not interested. “You can’t be here, Stell. If Silva finds out-’ Sky goes for his trousers but Stella comes over and snuggles up to his bare back. Sky is still not keen. Seems Stella dumped him then went silent all summer and now she’s jumping in since he talked to Bloom. Stella… comes out and says, “I got jealous. I did something really stupid.” and she says, “I can’t sleep in a room where everybody hates me.” For sending Bloom into danger to get home when that’s what Bloom wanted? Not great, Stella, but hateworthy? Did the girls all tell her they hate her or does Stella just think she’s an awful person? And is Stella actually desperately unhappy or is she just trying to get in Sky’s pants? Not sure what to take away from this. Sky hugs Stella and tells her she’s better than she thinks she is.

The others get back to the dorm and Aisha reassures Bloom that Dowling can take care of the Burned One.

Cut to Beatrix leaving her raid on the library with armfuls of books. She passed Riven, who’s smoking. They say flirty things and Beatrix says she’s been “snorting the midnight adderall” to show that she’s a bad girl. Riven offers her a puff but her hands are full of books so they do this almost-kiss so Riven can blow smoke into her mouth. Erotic, also gross. Is that a real thing people do? Riven asks Beatrix if she’s a first-year and she says “I’m lots of things” and walks off leaving Riven and the room he’s in, which has the most gorgeous arched windows with trees in them. Is this place real? It’s the same place the party was but now it’s night and these windows are glowing green with tree outlines in them. This has gotta be something the filmmakers added.

Pajama scene in the girls’ suite, Terra waters plants, Musa hops in bed with headphones on. Terra does a needy little wave. Musa reluctantly un-headphones. Terra offers a speaker she borrowed from her brother so Musa can have her music without shutting other people out.

And I cringe so hard because just let people tune you out if they want! Communicate by whiteboard! People not wanting to share doesn’t mean they hate you, it means they have their own thoughts they’re busy with! Come on Terra, be better than your novelization self!

Musa calls Terra out on her fake-happy bullshit. Musa can feel all of Terra’s insecurities and anger. Seems like maybe empaths shouldn’t have to share a room! What’s the range on mind reading? How did Musa hit 16 without learning to tune stuff out or going mad? But Musa says, ‘but if you want to know how I really feel...” and switches her music to a speaker, it’s guitar-y and nice.

Up in Dowling’s office, Silva says she should’ve killed the Burned One not left it chained up and knocked out in a shack outside the barrier. Dowling needs to investigate this Burned One, see if there are more of them. Then Dowling spills that Bloom is a changeling, from the time the last Burned One disappeared. And she says, “Rosalind kept so much from us. I’m worried about the students. The Alfea they know is very different from the one we attended.” There’s something very “there was a war before” about the two of them. Dowling may not be sus after all, though that may make her a terrible headmistress depending on how the next episodes go.

Montage of sleeping students. Terra and Dane are texting. Dane accidentally likes one of Riven’s sexy photos. Riven’s pleased. Sky and Stella are sharing a bed but after the last scene I can’t imagine they actually did anything. Sky seemed pretty unseduceable.

And outside a Mysterious Cloaked Figure passes through the barricade, finds the Burned One in the hut, and zaps it awake with lightning. It pushed back its hood… Beatrix! So if she undid her too-tight braids she’d be Stormy? So is Beatrix the villain? I mean obviously she’s a villain but the threat of the Burned Ones feels... bigger than one teenager in Bratz clothes who has not got the presence of even one Trix much less all three wrapped up together. But anyway she’ gets to be a doomful cloaked figure at the end of episode one.

Very pretty ending credits music. Listened to it several times. I can’t understand the lyrics which is probably just as well. Is it in irish or is it just sung in a way to not have clear lyrics? C’mon fate, Irishness is a big thing you’ve got going for you, please milk it for all its worth!

I… I LIKED it! Now my friends say future episodes get worse so I can’t get my hopes too high but this wasn’t awful. None of the girls really had any vibe of their characters, only Bloom and Sky really look like Bloom and Sky. The worldbuilding is lacking, I’m left with more questions than answers.

And oh god one episode was ten pages and about five hours. I… I meant to do this with every episode but I’m not sure I can. There’s so much to comment on it takes forever. Maybe I’ll do each one in parts. Or maybe I’ll abandon the writing and just watch the show like a normal person. It’s a lot of fun to fine-toothed comb each scene but I’m’a be here forever!

#fate the winx saga

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aboutcaseyaffleck · 4 years ago

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Casey Affleck Gets Philosophical About Life, Time & The Whole Damn Thing

“Time,” reflects Casey Affleck, “is something I have been thinking about lately. It is ironic how the older you get, the better you are at being patient. With less time left, people become better at waiting. But this year, I feel much older and a lot less patient. I guess you’ve got to accept that time is never wasted? That doing is no different than not doing? That you can’t kill time no matter what you do, and that no matter what you do you can’t prevent the opposite from happening either? I don’t know. It’s a double-edged sword.”

It’s a Wednesday afternoon in early January, and Affleck and I are doing the Zoom thing, ostensibly to discuss his two new movies, the recently released indie Our Friend and the upcoming 19th-century period drama The World to Come. Yet our virtual tête-à-tête has become far more interesting, jumping wildly from his love of trains and travel to weightier topics like family, the future and the search for something more, something meaningful.

“I like the idea that time is an illusion. That past, present and future are all happening at once. I like it even though I can’t totally get my head around it. But either way, the me in the mirror gets older every day.”

Like most of us, he’s not only had plenty of time on his hands in recent months, housebound in L.A., but he’s tried to use his downtime wisely. “I tried to use this year of quarantine constructively,” the 45-year-old Oscar winner says. “I tried to see it as a winter season for shutting down and restoring something inside, but I just couldn’t. I’m not that evolved, I guess. I didn’t take up a new hobby or learn an instrument or get better at ‘self-care.’ If anything, I let my better habits and routines fall off. It was all I could do to keep my head above water and help buoy my friends and children when I could.”

As a guy with two teenagers at home — Indiana, 16, and Atticus, 13 — it hasn’t been easy, but he’s doing his best. He tried taking his sons on their annual camping road trip over the summer, but it was short-lived. Instead, he’s been focusing on making a happy home. “My kids don’t get to see their friends a lot, so I’m doing a lot more stuff with them, coming up with activities for the three of us, which they mostly hate, and I mostly let drop. And then I try again with the same outcome 90 percent of the time.”

While trying to create innovative plans to sustain his boys, he came up with one he thought might do some good, too. In June, he launched Stories from Tomorrow, a social-media initiative focused on creative writing by kids.

“At the beginning of all this last March, the first thing that occurred to me was that the quarantine would have a big impact on young people’s emotional well-being — the disruption they’re going to feel is really going to affect their mental health more than anyone else,” he says. “When I would sit down to write creatively, I felt better. But I couldn’t get my sons to journal or do creative writing much. I didn’t want to twist their arms about it. So I was like, ‘I’ll make a social media platform that inspires young people to write creatively, because it is such a good way of working out difficult feelings. And the way I will do that is have well-known people read the kids’ writing publicly.’ I knew that hearing your own writing read was exciting. I thought it would be really inspiring, that creative writing would be a great outlet for kids stuck at home.”

He enlisted some of the biggest names in Hollywood, including Robert Redford, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Jon Hamm, Matthew Broderick, Kyle Chandler and Danny Glover, as well as two current costars, Vanessa Kirby and Jason Segel, and arranged for donations made through the program to go to children’s hunger nonprofit Feeding America and Room to Read, which supports female education. He reached out to schools in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and Haiti, hoping to create a global community.

Affleck was excited to make progress, to have done some good, but the initiative didn’t take off as planned. “In the end, an Instagram account for creative writing by tweens just couldn’t possibly compete with the quintillion bytes of daily data generated online. I don’t know. But I tried! And anyway, since then lots of other organizations started doing basically the same thing, and they are more organized than I am, and they have done a better job. So be it.”

Yet, adults have been disrupted, too, including Affleck himself, who is aware that, relatively speaking, he has gotten through mostly unscathed. “Am I happy? I mean, I’m relatively okay. It’s been a hard time to find balance and to keep it. I would say it’s been a hard time in my life, but I know that it’s been harder for other folks. So far we haven’t lost anyone, and we haven’t lost our house. And I rediscovered that when you’re feeling bad, there’s nothing better to do than to try to help other people. Being of service not only helps others but is a great way of getting outside of yourself. Also — and I really believe this — I think this time will be remembered as one when our country made leaps and bounds in the right direction; we are changing and growing and it’s uncomfortable, but we will be much, much better. I wish I could see the next couple hundred years. It’s going to be amazing.”

At the end of the day, it’s family that’s keeping him going. “Having my kids around and being able to spend so much time with them has been amazing. It is the brightest silver lining in all of this. They are what gives me the most joy. They are funny and smart and interesting and interested. They are just the best company ever,” he says. “Anytime I try to parent out some ‘teaching moment,’ I find they are two steps ahead. They help me make sense of stuff just as much I help them, if not more. I don’t have any answers, but batting the questions around, back and forth, is a good way of coping.”

CALEB CASEY MCGUIRE AFFLECK-BOLDT feels he is luckier than most. Although he and many of his peers have gone jobless for a full year, he spent 2019 working hard. He had not one but three films done and dusted prior to the start of the pandemic; the last one wrapped a week before mandatory quarantine. Two of these have back-to-back release dates: the tearjerker indie Our Friend came out in January, and sweeping period drama The World to Come will be released February 12. Thriller Every Breath You Take is slated for later this year. “I am so, so, so glad I spent 2019 working that much. It is what kept us afloat all through 2020,” he says.

The films themselves are radically different, but there are a few common threads. In both of his winter releases, Affleck plays a man who has lost a family member and whose marriage is in shambles. In both, he is a man in pain.

In the LGBTQ masterpiece The World to Come, which revolves around the love that blossoms between two married women on the mid-19th-century American frontier, his character, Dyer, says very little but manages to convey a wealth of emotion with his eyes alone. He may seem stoic, but he is suffering.

“The World to Come is a story about a couple who have lost a baby. They’re dealing with the grief in totally different ways and having a very hard time coming together again,” he explains. “My character wants to heal that by having another, but his wife [played by Katherine Waterson] is coping in a different way. She is severing all emotional attachment to him because it triggers more and more grief. She [only] seems to come alive when she is with their neighbor, a woman on the next farm [played by Vanessa Kirby]. He wants his wife happy, but he also would like her to love him. To me, this is the story of how couples can have their relationship shattered by a sudden loss. And it’s definitely a beautiful story about two women who feel that they have to hide their love and find the courage to love each other anyway.”

Affleck likes layers. He himself has many, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s drawn to roles written as fully formed characters, not caricatures. With Dyer, that’s abundantly clear. “Crisis is fun to play, [and Dyer] is in an interesting crisis,” he says. “I think he’s a really good person — a really decent, solid, loving person — which is what I loved so much about playing him and what I love so much about the writing. It’s more interesting when there’s no bad guy, just a conflict of circumstances and feelings that get so complicated that it drives two people apart.”

In Our Friend, a different set of circumstances drives the leads apart. Affleck and Dakota Johnson take on the true story of Matthew and Nicole Teague, whose imperfect marriage was strained by his long absences and her affair, neither of which seem at all important when she’s diagnosed with terminal cancer.

“To me, Our Friend is really a story about how petty grievances between people can divide them and then be forgotten when a gigantic tragedy is dropped in their laps. [Matthew] was wronged, it’s true — his wife cheated on him. On the other hand, he wronged her in a bunch of ways; [they] were just more passive and not quite so salacious. He wasn’t around. Matt got to be a dad and he got to travel the world as a journalist. He left her to take care of the kids. She wanted to have a life too, she had dreams of her own — she wanted to be a singer, she wanted to work — but she didn’t get to do that. She just got to be a mom. She was left holding the bag, and it wasn’t fair.”

He spent a fair amount of time immersing himself in the journalist’s life while filming in Fairhope, Ala., in 2019. (The film’s title is taken from Teague’s award-winning Esquire essay, “The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word.” The friend in question — played by Jason Segel — is a man who puts his life on hold to help the family during their darkest days.) But he did not become Matt Teague, which is an important distinction. “[Director] Gabriella Cowperthwaite asked that we not portray the personality traits of the real people. No accents, no mannerisms. [But] I did steal his style, because I had never seen someone nail the dad look any better than Matt. I say that with affection.”

As for the dreams Nicole gave up for her family, Affleck says, “If you were to ask Matt, I’m sure he would acknowledge that he was neglecting his role. He was neglecting her dreams, and that is a part of marriage, supporting what the other person wants. Like all relationships, it was complicated.”

Like life itself, really. This is why he can identify with both sides. He understands Nicole’s pain about the deference of her dreams as well as Matt’s desire to escape through travel — especially now, when Affleck himself has been completely grounded. Since the age of 17 he’s taken 20 cross-country road trips. His love of driving is secondary only to his enthusiasm for trains: Amtrak is his jam. He even fantasizes about owning his own train car one day.

Immersing himself in each location — whether it’s the sleepy Alabama town of Fairhope or the more exotic locale of Romania, which served as a stand-in for the East Coast of the U.S. in The World to Come — is actually one of the most desirable parts of the acting life, he says. “One of the things I love about working as an actor is that you go to some brand-new place and the community invites you in in a way that they don’t usually if you’re a tourist,” he confides. “You get to see what it’s like to really be there and imagine yourself living there.”

And he has — over the past ten years he’s spent so much time in cities including his hometown of Boston; Vancouver, British Columbia, the location of Light of My Life; Atlanta, where he shot the 2016 action flick Triple 9; Argentina, where he made Gerry; Dallas, for A Ghost Story; Calgary, Alberta, where much of the epic western The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford was filmed; Our Friend’s Fairhope set; Cincinnati, for The Old Man and the Gun; and Braddock, Pa., where he filmed the 2013 drama Out of the Furnace. “I have loved moving in and settling down and living a character’s life and then moving on. But I feel most at home in places that are struggling to get by. It reminds me of the neighborhood I grew up in. I feel lighter in those places, more relaxed. I feel like myself. I fit in.”

For him, the where is almost as important as the who — immersing himself in the place is imperative to understanding his character. This is part of what makes him such an accomplished actor — he and most of the parts he plays merge. I draw a crappy analogy about how the characters are like a coat, which he very obligingly works with. “You have to build the coat from all of the scraps and pieces of yourself; all these characters are made up of little pieces of me,” he says, noting, “Obviously, sometimes they can’t be. Sometimes I have no connection whatsoever, and those are the jobs I look back on and I either feel nothing for, or worse. But sometimes you have to take the job that is available, like most people in the world. You know? I don’t think my dad wanted to be a janitor. But he did it.”

He’s won an Oscar, a BAFTA, a Critics’ Choice Award, a Golden Globe and an Independent Spirit Award, among others, and appeared in films that run the gamut from box-office juggernauts like the Ocean’s 11 franchise and Tower Heist to indie darlings like brother Ben’s directorial debut Gone Baby Gone and Manchester by the Sea. He has even written and directed, most recently 2019’s Light of My Life, a bizarrely prescient movie about raising children in a pandemic. At this point in his career, he should have his pick of parts. “Not really,” he says. “There are a lot of people out there who have done good work, who are driven, and who have something to share. I have never been someone studios embraced as a ‘movie star,’ never knighted. I have always had to fight for the parts I have gotten. And you know what? That’s fine. Let me fight. It’s how I cut my teeth, and it is how I will keep them sharp. You can’t ask for more than a chance to be in the ring. Also, movies and TV aren’t all I care about. Sometimes I think, ‘Well, jeez, I have to work, and there are two jobs available to me, and the one that isn’t as good is the one that is close to home and I can see the kids, so I guess I am doing that.’ I love movies and really try hard to make them good. I really bust my ass every day when I get the chance to make one. I care more about my family than any movie. It’s not [always] the job I love, but this is the reality of my life. But maybe life will be long enough for a few more chapters.

The forward momentum of his future is an interesting topic. At the moment, he isn’t so much planning for the future as he is exploring it, because Affleck is not someone who likes to live with regret.

“I guess [at the end of the day], regret should be reframed as a reminder to be different,” he observes. And so, with this in mind, he embarked on a personal journey several years ago and decided to go back to college (at the Simon Fraser University in British Columbia). He had completed two years at Columbia University, but he never graduated — his film career kept getting in the way.

“I went back to school because I hadn’t finished, and I wanted to think about new things in a way that school can help you do,” he says. “I couldn’t go in person, so I found a strong online school and got started. You know, I’m 45, and I just thought, ’This is halftime. This is where you hit the locker room and think about how you want the rest of the game to go.’ You know what I mean? Like, ‘Okay, we went out, we played our best, we didn’t know what the other team was going to be like, we made some mistakes, we are in the game, so let’s adjust like this.’ Also, I’m not sure I want to be an actor forever. I had made a small pivot from acting into directing, and into producing more. And I like to direct movies. The most satisfying creative experience I’ve had in a long time was being a director. But ultimately it wasn’t quite enough. So I wanted to go study some of the things I was interested in. I wanted to do more with my life.”

Although he needed general credits to graduate, he found an unexpected passion for juvenile justice along the way, with a particular focus on alternative accountability programs. “I don’t know where this will lead me, or why I am so interested in it, but finding and implementing better systems for addressing harm and conflict among kids, adults too, but mostly young people, is something I care about. And the work that I have done so far has been fascinating and deeply rewarding.”

When I ask if this stems from his own experiences as a troubled kid growing up in Cambridge, Mass., with Christine, a single mom — his parents divorced when he was 9; his father, Timothy, an alcoholic tradesman, checked into a rehab facility in Indio, Calif., when Affleck was just 14 — he muses thoughtfully, “I love my parents and think they both did the very best they could and cared a lot. Period. Did I get into some trouble as a teenager? I got into some trouble when I was a kid, and I struggled a lot through high school with depression and substances, yes. Much of it I didn’t even know wasn’t normal. I don’t know if I was ‘troubled.’ Either way, as an adult, I’ve come to see that, regardless of how I compare to anyone else, I want less conflict in my life. That might be part of the reason why I’ve been so interested in learning about better ways of resolving conflicts, both with children and with grown-ups. It isn’t something they teach in school for some reason. Man, there is a lot they don’t teach you in school, huh? A lot you’ve got to learn on your own.”

And on this journey, mistakes will be made. That’s par for the course, and Affleck is no exception. “I have made so many mistakes, but life is the time for mistakes. I do believe people should hold themselves accountable and repair harm they have caused. That is important to me, and I try hard to do that whenever it is called for: apologize for mistakes and repair them,” he admits.

This is when our conversation, as such conversations are wont to do, comes full circle. Before we say goodbye, Affleck remarks, “You know, I heard Bono talking on Howard Stern’s show, and he said something about Frank Sinatra that was interesting. He said that he heard two versions of Frank singing ‘My Way.’ One version was recorded when Frank was young, and the other version was recorded when Frank was old. Each had the exact same words, same arrangement, same everything. But when Frank was young the line ‘I did it my way’ sounded proud, and when Frank was old it sounded humble. Whatever else time does to a person, I think it also does that.”

[source]

#casey affleck #interview #photoshoot #photo #quote

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shmisolo · 5 years ago

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I wanted to post the things I’ve made this year in one place. I haven’t posted most of them over here—largely because I’m not tumblring a lot these days. But I made a lot this year—both visual and written—that I’m proud of and wanted to share it out. You can find this post also in tweet form here!

Happy 2020, Reylo friends! It’s been a wild ride of a year, and mine couldn’t have been what it has been without you.

Visual

Oneshots

Investiture for @misscoppelia

In which Ben goes to daven for his father’s yahrtzeit and manages to prove to himself once again that he is both a terrible person and a terrible Jew.

Oh and he sort of falls in love.

baby you can drive my car for @talltig

They call them “soulmates.” Probably because it leaves less of a sting in their mouths.

The Kitchen for flypaper_brain

Rey and Ben, hunting for their first house.

alone with a heart meant for you for @nuanceismyjam

Ben orders Grubhub; Rey's car breaks down.

myosotis for @rissanox

Ben picked the flowers for their wedding.

and beyond for @lilithsaur

“Please?”

For a moment, he thinks it will be like the first time, him begging, her crying and saying no and him not knowing how to protect his crushed heart.

But she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t say, “Please don’t go this way,” she doesn’t look horrified or disgusted. She just grabs him by the front of his shirt and tugs his lips down to hers before reaching down to cup his cock.

You, Me, and He for @rissanox, @persimonne, and @misscoppelia

When they say that Kylo's brain is in his groin, they're not far from the truth.

Alternatively,

In which Kylo Ren is his own penis.

Bliss, Balance and Birth for @selunchen

Ben teaches their daughter to read.

💦💦💦💦

In which Ben accidentally implies that he gets his cardio from having sex on national television.

Favorites for @lilithsaur

In which Matt is preoccupied in getting Daisy the perfect token of his love on this, the two month anniversary of her agreeing to be his girlfriend.

A Trash Triplets AU.

Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out | Moodboard

“Listen asshole,” Rey says as she steps through the door of Poe’s deli. “You have exactly as long as it takes me to buy these cigarettes.”

Ben doesn’t waste a second breathing. “Metaphysically speaking, you and I are intrinsically and inexplicably linked,” he starts because there’s no time for beating around the bush and besides, Rey can sniff out a lie like no one else. “And I'm convinced our true purpose is to to connect with each other, if not help save each other's lives.” She’s opening her wallet and handing Poe a ten. “In another world, hopefully you are doing the same for me.”

The Other Thing for @persimonne

That’s what they don’t warn you about, he thinks idly. In his DesEd class, they’d warned him about knots, and heats, and ruts, and nesting. But they’d never warned him that her home would smell so much like her, like everything he’s ever wanted, that he would be unable to extricate himself.

“Can you make it a little more interesting in like...thirty minutes?” he asks her.

She pulls away and he immediately regrets saying a damn word.

“I could make that work,” she replies dryly. “I’ll pencil you in.”

A for... for @loveofescapism

Rey’s seeing double by the time there’s food on her plate. Oh. There’s food on her plate. That’s good. That’s unexpected at this point. “Eat,” Ben tells her.

So she does. It tastes good. Very good. She likes this food a lot.

“I’ll make sure she knows,” Ben says.

Oh she’s at that point of drunk where she’s just saying things out loud instead of keeping them in her internal monologue.

“You are,” Ben says, looking very amused.

She hopes she doesn’t say anything embarrassing.

“I promise, you haven’t yet, but oh boy, I’m looking forward to this.”

She shoves food into her mouth to keep herself from thinking out loud about his dick in her ass at his mother’s Passover seder.

do or do not (do the do)

In which Ben, in an effort to improve his stamina (look he's making progress, ok?) after reading some articles that he'll never be able to unread, receives some coaching (that he very much did not ask for).

(Very much did not ask for.)

(Not) Interested for @thewayofthetrashcompactor, @monsterleadmehome, @destiniesfic, yuktipatipriya

We're bringing Speed Dating back to Space Battles Bonanza! Register online for one of our special Bonanza sessions of 15 three-minute dates so you’ll no longer have to look for love in a galaxy far far away. Choose from one of seven speed dating sessions, two of which are queer focused. If the Insurgents can blow up the Doom Moon in 11 minutes, let’s see if you can make a love connection in only three.

There’s a history of successful Speed Dating at Space Battles Bonanzas, with long-term couples, engagements and marriages now among the alumni.

In which Rey & Kylo meet at their fancon's speed dating.

Never Die for @avamarga

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you.

Forged for @reyloner

There are several reasons that Ben would never have dreamed he’d ever receive this text. The first is that he’d be invited to a Halloween party. The second is that he’d never in his life expected to be in a serious relationship, much less the sort of serious relationship where his partner would suggest matching Halloween costumes. And the last is that he is dating someone who’s show only and they’ve only almost murdered one another twice. Because he’s an A Song of Ice and Fire fan. He hates Game of Thrones.

and getting caught in the rain for @kylorenvevo

What's the point of going to a family wedding if you're not going to hook up with your newly rediscovered brother's baseball coach?

A Picture's Worth for @selunchen

reyjay: hiya your art is amazing

reyjay: it’s a big ask but could you draw me for my art final tomorrow? i’m shit at drawing people and i can’t fail this. can you help?

He stares.

And stares.

kyloren: is this some kind of a joke?

reyjay: no?? why??

kyloren: you’re asking me to help you cheat your exam, but you’re not even offering me money?

Bang for your Buck

“We ready?” he asks her, sounding huffy.

“Nice to meet you Ben, I’m just familiarizing myself with your training,” she replies.

“Ok, well I don’t have all day.”

“No, you have,” she checks her watch, “another hour.” Because of course he’d booked an extra long session. Bless that sweet, sweet overtime pay.

“And you’re sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks her and she glances up at him, sure that her eyes are flashing because that’s fucking rude. She’s a professional. Amilyn wouldn’t have hired her if she didn’t know what she’s doing, and just because he apparently thinks he’s the center of the universe doesn’t change that fact.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your bang for your buck,” she tells him icily.

Two to Tango

Rey: I need to ask you something awkward. Ben: What’s up? Rey: Can I give you a blowjob? Please?

atlanta > all atlanta > community > missed connections for @sand-its-everywhere

In which Rey meets a cosplayer at DragonCon.

Sonsick (I'll fall for you soon enough) for @jeenonamit & YTCShepard

Sheev and Snoke share a moment at the country club.

A Thousand Words for @monsterleadmehome | Moodboard

In which, some years later, Ben encounters someone he drew for nudes.

Truth and Death written for this year’s @reylofanfictionanthology

Ben opens the box. Inside, he sees the charred remains of a helmet.

------------

She is made of sand-turned-clay, where other moving creatures are made of flesh and blood. Their skin cracks in the dry Jakku sun just like hers, but they are alive in their organs.

Rey is alive in a different way.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year written with @jeenonamit | Moodboard

Rey convinces Ben--and his sentient penis--to go with her to a Halloween party.

What could go wrong?

(Working title: "Dicklo 2: Electric BOO-galoo")

Shalom Rav! for @jeenonamit | Moodboard

In which Rey comes to terms realizing that she is attracted to the rabbi.

when the stars and moon align just so for @capaldisrighteyebrow

Songs spoke of red stars on nights that blood was shed. Stars bled too when the great fell. There were no red stars tonight. The stars did not bleed for Snoke.

Would they bleed for Ben?

She swallowed.

Because despite his own words—that he served his master (master, as though he were a draft horse to be yoked and plow the fields of men), that he would give everything to his master, she had seen doubt in his eyes that night, three years ago, when the stars and moon had aligned just so.

oh, my love, don't forsake me (take what the water gave me) for @reyloner and @loveofescapism

Their sabers clashed, humming in the spray, and Rey's heart was in her throat the entire time.

it’s you and me (i know it’s our destiny) | Moodboard

It’s just a kid’s game, he thinks when jealousy pangs in his heart. But it’s more than just a kid’s game.

It’s Pokémon.

It’s the only good thing in his life.

will you come when i call you (i’ll come when you call me) | Moodboard

Surely when Snoke had connected them, he hadn’t connected them like this.

—

@reylo_prompts: “Due to the Force bond Rey and Ben always come simultaneously. Now they need to figure out how not to do that since it can result in awkward situations.”

The Sweater Curse for @jeenonamit & @commandercrouton

She’s never made a sweater before, but she saw the pattern on Ravelry and who cares if she’s only made (lumpy) hats before—she has to try it. She has to make it. She has to make it for Ben.

“You realize that Hannukah isn’t an important holiday, right?” Ben asks as she makes eye contact with him. His eyes are big and brown and—at this moment—mildly annoyed.

“Really? Is it a giant conspiracy theory? Part of the war on Christmas?”

“More than you realize,” Ben says and for the life of her she can’t tell if he’s joking. He does this thing sometimes that’s confusing—where he’ll say something that sounds mopey but is actually snarky and it disarms her every damn time. “In any event, ugly Hanukkah sweaters definitely aren’t a thing the way ugly Christmas sweaters are.”

“Well, they are now,” Rey says firmly. “I’m making you an ugly Hanukkah sweater. Deal with it. And stop moving.”

Ours Is The Fury for @reyloner & @commandercrouton

Rey was tasked with taking Storm's End for her king. She defeated the Storm King Snoke in the Rainwood, but when she proceeded to the castle itself, preparing for a long siege, things did not go to plan.

Seen ✔️✔️ for @ever-so-reylo | Graphic

His lock screen has three texts from Rey on it:

Rey Wife: Babe I know you’re probably busy right now, but you sent that pic to the wrong chat. Rey Wife: Bennnnnnn Rey Wife: Call me when you’re done processing your trauma.

And then about ninety chats from the Skywalker Ranch WhatsApp thread.

In which Ben sends a picture to the wrong chat.

With you, Always for @jeenonamit, @nuanceismyjam, and YTCShepard

Rey's boyfriend is now a Force ghost but they're sure as fuck gonna try fucking anyway.

Chaptered Fics

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) for @nerdherderette | Complete | Moodboard

A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Carry In My Core (That Voice I Adore) | Complete | Moodboards

Starring in her first opera would be stressful as is, but Rey, always one to outdo herself, just had to go and make things even more complicated with Kylo Ren. It’s hard enough looking him in the eye, much less pretending to be in love with him. She can make it through this. She has made it through worse. She can make it through this.

shadow boxes | Complete

Just because they aren’t together, doesn’t mean they’re not in love.

anyway you want to (anyway you've got to) | Complete

But you know she's getting something other Than the love from her mother

A Porn Challenge in which your author makes Rey and Ben bone their way through the month of February.

words like tomorrow (or future, or fate) for @haloren1st & @staticcatfish | Complete

One day, Rey wakes in a body that's not her own in a town she's never been to before. Who is Ben, whose body she seems to be possessing, and who woke up in her body? Why are they connected this way?

---

A Your name. AU.

Above us, stars. Beneath us, constellations. for @valsansretour | Complete | Moodboard

Ben woke, but Luke’s saber wasn’t ignited. Instead, he saw a master who had shattered his trust, who thought he was a monster, and—worse—he was probably right.

So he fled Yavin IV, to Skywalker’s dismay, and no one heard from him since.

Years later, on a wasteland planet, a girl and a fugitive stormtrooper board a Corellian YT-1300 light freighter in desperation to find they are not the only ones trying to steal it.

Why Don’t You And I Combine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey’s phone rings while she’s at the farmer’s market. She lets it ring. They have a line and it’s only a few hours, and the girls are at school and it’s just her today, so she doesn’t have enough hands. Rose and Finn and Poe are helping Ben move furniture out of his apartment and into the house. They’re probably calling about something silly, or Ben’s calling to say he’s fully moved in and he’s lying in their bed—possibly with his hand on his cock—and that he’s thinking of her.

—

In which life continues, grows, and Rey and Ben continue to rebuild their relationship.

A sequel to Let’s Get Together.

The Love Committee for @jeenonamit | Complete | Moodboard

In which Rey, tired of her bad luck with dating apps and failed relationships, enlists her friends' help in determining who she should date next.

They take it a little too seriously.

A Year of Me and You for autonomee | Complete

“After you move in with one another, give yourself six months to like one another again,” Maz says, looking at Rey seriously through her bottlecap glasses.

“I’m not going to fall out of love with—”

“No, no. Not love. Love’s not got anything to do with it, child. Like.”

Non-linear vignettes of various length, set during the first year Rey and Ben live together.

Hanging by a Moment for pillar-of-salt | Complete | Mix

There are many things that Ben could have tolerated about his parents’ divorce. That his mother had finally had it with his father’s borderline illegal—or rather, as he liked to put it, borderline legal—company, the shady activities it covered that would doubtlessly end her political career if a reporter got hold of them; that his father had finally had it with the way his mother nags, because sure, he’d thought it was hot twenty years ago, but he is in fact an adult who can actually keep his shit together—all that he would have gotten. He’d have been wrecked, but he’d have gotten it.

His dad leaving his mom for a nineteen-year-old gold-digger though, and his mother not even putting up a fight—that had caught him by surprise.

That had hurt.

Be nice to her, Ben, his mother had said on the phone when he’d spoken to her for the first time in five years. She just lost your father.

Yeah. So did I.

Cupcake Wars | Complete | Fingerpainting + Playlist

Entirely by accident, Rey ends up fucking someone who works for Snoke's Cupcakery. She's just blowing off steam. It doesn't mean anything at all. It certainly won't come back to bite her in the ass.

in nobody's eyes but mine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey had spent too much of her life feeling as though permanence could only be transient so why bother with it. What was long-term? What was mating? What was home?

the water won’t have ya if the devil’s too blind for @thekesselrun | Complete | Moodboard

That water’s too dirty to wash away your sins.

“They’re not sins. I didn’t commit them against god. There is no such thing as god.”

Then whatever you want to call them. Crimes don’t get washed away by a river.

“It’s a cursed river,” Ben points out.

No, it’s a polluted river. Curses aren’t real. Not like that, anyway.

“Are you really well-actually-ing me?”

Yes, I am. Because you’re an idiot. Some extremely oily and not remotely potable water is not going to be able to remove the guilt you feel about killing your father, turning your back on your mother, murdering hundreds of innocents, and helping the First Order destroy the world. Especially when you knew I wasn’t going to let you die.

–

In which Ben Solo washes up on shore, very still alive and unsure of what to do next until a passing scavenger offers him a lift on her boat. Who is he now? Who does he want to be?

Apples & Honey for @peaceblessingspeyton | Complete | Moodboard

When Ben catches wind that his mother is planning to foist a potential girlfriend on him when he comes home for Rosh Hashanah, he takes matters into his own hands: specifically, he runs to Rey and asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend.

There Is Another for @kylorenvevo | Complete | Moodboards: Ch 1 | Ch 3 | Ch 7 | Ch 9 | Ch 11 | Ch14

“Mission success?”

“You will be interested in this.”

“Oh?”

Kylo glances back over his shoulder. The girl he had found on Takodana is still deeply unconscious, and will remain so for a long while. He had knocked her out as deeply as he could. She had fired at him the moment she’d seen him, resisted him tooth and nail. He does not want her waking up until he has her properly restrained, and he had not come to Takodana prepared to take any prisoners.

A shiver runs up his spine as he tries to shove away how it had felt, carrying her through that forest.

“Yes.”

“How so?”

The trouble with helmets is he can’t look Kira dead in the eye anymore. He can’t watch her face closely to see what will happen when he tells her,

“She’s you.”

Dear Mr. President | WIP | Moodboards: Ch13

Dr. Dameron shifts and slides a manilla folder across the desk to her. “Under ordinary circumstances, I’d let you keep the folder. I hope you’ll understand why I can’t do that this time around.”

She opens it and stares.

She stares and stares and stares.

Dr. Dameron has to be kidding. There have to be hidden cameras here, this has to be some elaborate prank. That’s why it’s him here and not Dr. Wexley—that was his name. Dr. Wexley.

But instead of getting to her feet and tossing her hair and saying he was cruel for playing with her heart like this, all she does is ask, blankly, “So...Ben Solo is my soulmate? Our new president is my…”

She swallows.

And Dr. Dameron nods.

so long lives this and this gives life to thee | WIP | Moodboard

His smile fades and he falls to the ground, his head hitting the ground with a sharp crack.

“Ben!” The yell echoes around them in the darkness and Rey lurches forward, her hands scrabbling over his face, his neck, trying to find a pulse.

She bursts into tears when she finds it. She doesn’t know why she’s crying. He’s alive.

———

In which Ben's Force Sensitivity—and not his life—was given to save Rey.

a little death (goes a long way) for @talltig | WIP | Moodboard

“That’s good of you,” he replies. “Especially with the O-Negative.”

“It’s a good deal,” she says and he glances up. Yeah, because Omega blood is harder to find. A taste of life, because they almost never survive the turn.

#reylo #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #rffa writers #year in review

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