#i hate spiders so much ugh fucking disgusting!

[whumpshaped]

"I suppose even the most terrifying people look more... tame, when they're curled up on the floor, sobbing."

[lovingmachinee]

Disco Yeti

Ant x black male reader

Set in season 1

Reader is new student

Reader and Ant get it on at that one carnival party thingy

Reader goes on stage to do his sexy thingy while ant watches

(kind of like that one darren and cash scene)

Wine pon you by doja cat in mind for the dance part

[name] pov

“Are you even listening?” I saw fingers being snapped in front of my face and woke up out of my daze. I turn my head to make eye contact with the finger snapper to see Darren with an annoyed expression. 

“Yeah of course I am” I lied through my teeth. 

“really?” Darren asked, I nod keeping up my facade, “Because I know you are busy staring at disco yeti over there” They said pointing towards Ant.

Anthony was a peculiar guy to say the least, very loud and dumb at some times and his friend group was something too. I hate Spider just like everyone else. But sometimes Ant’s antics canceled his stupid friend out. Ant is very nice and very funny, at least that’s the side he showed me ever since I came here, and ever since I gave him tutoring lessons on Spanish.

I always kind of admired Ant in a weird way. And now I of course can’t keep my eyes off him while he’s wearing that light up coat, It’s cool. 

“Well I mean you can’t really avoid looking at a disco yeti” I say looking back at Darren. “Ugh ok just let me finish my story and then you can fawn over him again” They say, getting a disgusted face out of me, at least that’s what I tried to show. 

Darren gave Ant a handy once. I remember from the whole incest map, kind of a weird thing to see on my first day here. “Is he big?” I ask, interrupting Darren’s story. Darren looks offended at me interrupting and decides to not answer my question. “You know what I’m so done with you” They say grabbing their drink from the bar and turning back to me again “Come back when you’re done being fucked dumb by Ant over there”. Darren walked away. I felt sorry for interrupting their story but at the same time kind of happy because they just confirmed that Ant is indeed big.

I stood there alone, I could just go to another person and talk with them but right now I wanted something else. I wanted Ant, not in a lovey dovey way at least I think. 

I looked over at him and accidentally caught him staring at me. He was in the middle of the dance floor standing with Dust? Dusty? Meh forget it this wasn’t about him. I tried to maintain eye contact but Ant kept avoiding it by pretending he’s listening to what Dusty’s saying.

I started walking towards him. Grabbing a drink that was sitting on a tray a server walked with, on my way. This time Ant did make eye contact with me and I was surprised he kept it till I was standing in front of him.

Dusty noticed me “You know what I’m going to check on Harper, bro” he said. “Yea cool” Ant said, still not breaking eye contact. Dusty walked away. Now it was my time.

“Hi” Ant started, the lights from the party and his coat shining on his face. “Hi” I responded, smiling up at him. We stayed silent for a sec, but not an awkward one more of a silence with tension. 

Ant smiled. “Wanna dance?” He proposed to me holding his hand out for me to take. “Why what a gentleman” I responded, taking his hand “I would love to dance with you” I said after. '`Great” He said, leading us to a more crowded space since the people around us started seperating. 

Once we were in the middle crowd we started dancing. I move swiftly to the song playing in the back, moving my hands along my, because of the light on my dark skin, purple glistening body. Ant moves along with me, us both enjoying each other's company.

I turn around with my back against Ant’s chest and roam my hands through his light up twister coat and run them up along his neck. “You know you’re really beautiful” He speaks in my ear, as his hands touch my waist. “Sorry I didn’t mention it earlier” He says after, making me laugh. 

I turn around to face him again. “You’re forgiven, besides I didn’t spend so much time getting ready for you to not notice me” I say putting my arms around his shoulder. His nose is so big… I’m trailing off, maybe I should just focus on what he’s saying.

“So you’re saying you got ready just for me” Ant says, showing a big goofy grin, kind of reminding me of what a child he is outside of this situation. “Well” I said, not really having an answer, he got me there. Ant lets out a loud laugh, making me hit him in the chest. “God you’re such a child” I said.

“Aw did I get you there [name]?” 

I decided to ignore that question and led Ant’s hands back to my waist. “Just shut up or else I’m going to find someone else to dance with” I say making eye contact with him. “O well we wouldn’t want that to happen” He says dancing with me again.

We continue dancing for a while until the announcer steps up on stage with a microphone in her hand. “The ball is officially starting with our first category: NIGHT FOR WINE!”. I started getting excited, Darren already told me about all the categories coming on and this was the exact one I wanted to participate in.

“Sorry Ant but this is my category” I say, letting go of his neck and getting ready to get on stage. “Night for wine? Sounds interesting” Ant says, his hand lingering around my waist. “Do I look good?” I ask him quickly.

“You never do not look good” He grinned. I let out a little giggle before walking away, but before I do I look back “By the way you might wanna see this so get frontrow” I say before finally walking away. 

I stand by the stairs with Darren waiting for the announcer to start the music. “Are you ready cunt” They say, looking at me and holding my shoulders tight. “I do not wish anything good for Ant but you better give your best show” Darren says after trying to hide their disgusted face.

“And now let the ball begin, first category: Night for wine, which means y'all better have some sturdy knees” The announcer says, making the crowd “ooooo”. “Hit it” the announcer says after as a hint for the DJ to start the music.

Darren went up first having known no such thing as no nerves. The crowd already goes hype over Darren’s moves and it woke me up to get on the stage.

I walked on stage moving my hips just like I practiced. I start wining and spreading my legs, going under them seeing the crowd through my legs. Through my legs I can see Ant staring at me in awe, Darren was right this would work on him. 

I start walking around more on the stage, having a face-off with Darren for who can be the most sensual while the music was still playing in the back. I did all my tricks one leg up in the air, grinding down on the floor, swinging my hands in the air and letting them roam all over my body.

I look over towards Ant again and see him smirking.

Now it was time. I move forward and crouch with my knees spread. I get on my hands and knees and lay my chest down on the stage while lifting up my rear with my legs spread, all while keeping eye contact with Ant. The crowd started cheering more.

I slowly start letting my rear go down both legs going the other way resulting in a split mustering the best fuck-me-eyes towards Ant. The announcer came back on stage “Alright alright we got a winner” she said. I started to roll and lifted my leg in the air while sitting still putting up my show even though it was already done.

I stood up, got my prize and left the stage already walking over towards Ant, who had gotten two drinks for the both of us.

“That was hot” Ant says, smirking, giving me a drink. “Thanks”, I accept the drink, there are not many words I can say after being so … open on stage

“Say, do you have something to do after this whole party thingy?” Ant asks. I take a sip of my drink, “Well I was probably going to go somewhere with Amerie and the rest, but I can skip it because it sounds like you want to propose something” I say turning my head sideways.

Ant chuckles, “Well I do have some Spanish words I need to learn, so if you want to come over to tutor me” he says. “Got any movies we can watch?” I ask. 

“Does Spider-Man sound good?” Ant says, giving me his hand just like he did when he asked me to dance. I take his hand “It would be a pleasure to tutor you” I say. 

He drags me away from the crowd, out the club.

He’s such a dork.

this sounds so cornyyy PLEASSEE. hopefully the dance moves translated as how I envisioned them.

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

Im finally watching The Owl House instead of just seeing spoilers on Tumblr so Im gonna live-post my reactions cuz Holy shit do I have some things to say right now-

1. Camila sounds nothing like I imagined

2. LUZ DONT THROW BOOKS AWAY WHAT THE FUCK

3. Eda sounds nothing like I thought????

4. Luz… baby… you didn’t see the door with a giant eye and- ya know what- not worth it

5. Why is Eda not sus about a human? I am definitely missing something

6. Is Alex Hirsch the voice for the guard?

7. Why hand come off?????

8. Luz is self aware. This is good.

9. HOOTY??????? THE FUCK????

10. Luz! Don’t just grab people and creatures!

11. Wait- have I been mispronouncing Luz’ name? I thought it was Luhz not Looz

12. Eda! Blackmail and manipulation isn’t cool!

13. by the way both Earth and Boiling Isles conforming places are so disgusting like the fuck

14. Luz I love you and im concerned by your lax reaction to this new world

15. the warden is disgusting

16. h- thats not how physics work??? how are the doors opening???

17. Eda you’re great for protecting the child first

18. Luz is so cool for rebellion tho

Done! I think Im gonna rewatch each episode again when I don’t pay attention enough so I can write these. Hard to remember my questions if I pay attention too hard but ya know I wanna express how I feel too

1. wait these people are overreacting sometimes. the snakes and spiders? yeah absolutely valid to run. The sausages and eyelids???? Y’all overreacting. I mean the wasted food sucks but like its obviously just sausages guys. The eyelid thing is just something at least one kid does every year and its gross but not scream and run worthy. These people are so rude. At least the principal and Camila are concerned about Luz cuz of her seemingly not recognizing what is and isnt real vs just being dicks about her hobbies. It could be much worse in that way. Also Camila worrying about Luz’ lack of friends is good, too. Some kids do fine alone, but most really do need a support system other than family.

(ugh why is the next line down here thats so annoying)

2. Boiling Isles is like- lawless??? Clearly the warden gets away with his crazy arrests (kinda like Warden from Danny Phantom) cuz he’s just a dick. Like how is the guy selling person-eating icecream allowed but a fanfic writer isnt???? Like this is all clearly a reference to queerness cuz like fanfic doesn’t bother anyone else unless you see it out whilst that icecream could absolutely hurt some random civilian. The shit queer people used to and still get in trouble for with no valid reason- this also could be referencing race as well cuz it is disgusting how many POC are arrested or hurt due to plain racism rather than justice by law.

3. oh my godex I have been saying Luz’ name wrong! I thought it was Luhz! Is it Looz cuz its short for Lucida? Also the fact Eda thinks she’s clever for a human makes me worry everyone in Boiling Isles will think Luz is dumb just because of her species which is hella speciest and yeah im worried

4. ): giraffes are cool. Eda why

5. I kinda hate Hooty not gonna lie. Also ??? Eda why you leave your stuff outside ???

6. I just realized that the Conformitorium may actually be a proper prison that just has too many lax laws. Also how tf did does Luz open and close the door????

7. Luz’ willingness to just trust Eda is concerning. Also the BK crown is funny. Eda is a softie

8. oh the doors are opened normally itd just hurt ouch. Is the scene of them falling done by that Baxter dude cuz its kinda smooth af

9. I really hope Luz’ speech means something to kids and teens. It feels cringely bad to me but im also literally 20 so its not meant for me

10. Luz… you cant just offer up your services for ANYTHING! Standards! Boundaries! Her age is showing here. (what is her age? is she like 12?)

11. That photo thing is absolutely real. Some people think its a dramatic movie thing but Ive done it genuinely. Who had the sleeping bag? Eda or Luz? Also love her phone case. Cannot imagine sleeping without a blanket.

Properly done this time! I think I’ll watch the next one once through then ask questions though cuz this took far too long. Ill remember the questions eventually.

[aka-indulgence]

How does robo-skider sans deal with 'problems'? Like with humans he doesn't like with his dear 55?

(Warning: HORROR, like, the genre, not.. ht sans.. dsjkhd, but anyway there IS  murder (no gore, but still), so if you dont want that, don’t read!)

Blue eyes gaze through the windows, the home star glimmering in the distance through the blackness of space. A human was walking on the outside of the ship, a sort of advanced "tool-belt" around their middle.

Though they were wearing a suit, Sans knew this wasn't his human. He would've gone with you if he knew you were going out, and he'd know it was you in the suit from having following you around so much.

Though this time, he'd make sure you weren't around. He was sure you were at the living quarters, or maybe at the cafeteria getting breakfast. The rest of the crew should be occupied by now, having experiments to run and other various work. The man walking above is one of them, Sans isn't sure for what he was space-walking at this time, but he doesn't really care.

Crew-Member 4.

Far from the only human he despises, but definitely one that has been getting Sans' attention lately.

"It's not like you actually got fucking hurt, did you? It wasn't even that big." He spat.

Your face was red, and Sans saw your eyes water. "What the hell?! I thought everyone here knows the danger of space debris. Do you remember what happened to Sans?"

"Stop saying that, why did you even give it a name? You treating it like a pet or something?"

"You're not listening to me! Sans lost his leg-"

"You have a suit."

"Sans is made of metal! If it can tear through metal-"

"Ugh, you're so..." No. 4 trailed off, openly expressing his irritation with you. "Your job's simple. All you had to do was fix the exposed panel. Now it's still exposed. Everyone here has something important to do and no one's complaining."

"But-"

"Fine, why don't I do it? Since you're too 'in shock' to do it. I think I need to measure the radiation-disparity soon anyway..."

Sans had stepped in when you tried to argue back and No. 4 looked like he was going to yell. 'Stress-levels', he'd say. No. 4 left the room and Sans got to be alone with you, to comfort you in any way his programming limitations let him.

He’d been watching No. 4 intently since then, though not as obvious as he’d been when he was watching you. He’s aware of the man’s judgement, and Sans was clever enough not to make him think that Sans was following him. Sans was just... observing. His behavioral patterns. Nothing suspicious.

Today, Sans suspects he’s outside to try to “prove” that he can easily do your job while doing his own tasks. The arrogance he reeked... even Sans could smell it.

Sans keeps watching those legs bounding on the outside of the ship until he got to where that unfinished repair was located, and Sans skitters to the airlock.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.

The doors close behind him, and Sans can no longer hear anything- not just the fact that the air has been sucked out and he’s in a vacuum now, but his system turns off his “ears” automatically when he went out the ship. The only communication done outside is through radio. The door to space opens silently, and to a human exiting for the first time it would’ve been eerie.

But Sans isn’t a human, nor is this his first time.

No one could hear the clink of his legs over the ship’s exterior. No one was around to hear it anyway, even if they were right under these panels, all of them were on the other side of the ship.

Right now it’s just him and No. 4.

He was crouched down over the panel you had been fixing about... 7 day cycles ago. The one Sans had so stupidly looked away at that moment, having to fix something else, when he heard you screaming...

... no. 4 doesn’t know how terrifying it must be to lose your tether with no means of reconnecting.

If Sans could scowl, he would now.

Sans stalks closer, rage bubbling underneath his metal outer layer. He knows what he wants to do, what he wants to happen to No. 4, he just... doesn’t know how he’ll do it.

The idiot doesn’t even turn to look at him, Sans feels very lucky in that moment that sound doesn’t travel in space. Sans isn’t too far now, probably on the edge what would be the “circle” his safety protocols would allow him near a human.

... Of course this wasn’t a problem to him anymore, the last time you shut it off to fix him he had “neglected” to remind you to turn it back on.

No, he’s not stopping because of his programming. He stands there, only a bit away from No. 4. Like a predator waiting in ambush, except Sans wasn’t even hiding- there was nowhere to hide. The only reason his prey- No. 4 didn’t notice was his rapt attention on the broken panel in front of him. Broken into pieces that Sans couldn’t pick and clear properly with his size and tools that weren’t made to handle things delicately. It seemed that No, 4 wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He was just staring at it. He didn’t have a replacement. He didn’t even use your E-pad to at least get some sense into what he’s supposed to do.

Sans is partly glad he isn’t using it. The E-pad was yours, and you were somewhat fond of it, it seemed. He wouldn’t want you to lose something you liked.

As Sans stands there, processing a mile a minute on how he should go about this, he suddenly remembers to look up, turning his skull around to inspect the dark ‘sky’.

An alert system in him for when he was outside- compelling him to check for space debris at regular intervals.

And for once, Sans is actually glad to see a couple coming towards the ship where he’s standing. Perhaps from the same cluster that made you lose your footing on the ship.

Sans purposefully took his eyes off of No. 4, off his radar, then swiftly moved outside the range he predicted the space debris would hit. He watched as what seemed to be small chunks of meteorite ‘fall’ towards the ship, feeling them clunk over the metallic plating.

He connects to No. 4′s radio.

“Shit!”

Down came the rain

Sans looks up and sees that No. 4 has lost his footing and is slowly spinning vertically, flailing his arms and legs helplessly as he tries to gain some kind of support, and getting nothing.

Sans would love to spend a little more time watching him panic, but he had to do this quick.

And washed the spider out.

He shot forward, close to the tether, watching the swaying rope with intense eyelights. One hand closes around the rope to stabilize it in front of him, the other one, ready to extend his ‘cutting-claw’ to-

ACTION DENIED!

Object: Tether Rope.

TETHER ROPE IS CURRENTLY IN USE BY CREW-MEMBER 4 OUTSIDE THE SHIP. IF ACTION CONTINUES, CREW-MEMBER 4 WILL BE DISCONNECTED!

His hand stops mid-space, his programming straining against him to keep his hand from touching the rope. He tries to change tactics, extending the cutting claw on his other hand, but his other safety protocols had been activated. He was frozen.

‘Must not harm humans.’

‘Must prioritize human well-being.’

His fingers were trembling as he pushed.

only one human matters.

he is not that human.

he isn’t needed.

dispose him.

He feels as if molten metal had been casted into his joints as he tries to push his hand closer to the tether, with the ‘claw’ extended.

DENIED!

Above him, still connected to the radio, he can hear No. 4 breathing in panic, muttering curses under his breath- before Sans hears a gasp, and he looks up.

No. 4 is looking at him now, Sans can see through the visor, his eyes staring at Sans.

“What the fuck- why’d it have to be him that came for me,” he sounds disdained, filled with disgust.

the feeling’s mutual.

Sans strains harder, his legs locking up as he tries to push his claw closer to the rope- No. 4 obviously not noticing if he thinks Sans is here to help him.

His hand budges closer, then tugged further.

“The hell... are you having a fucking crash or something? Just pull the rope! You have one hand on it!”

Sans knew he should be thankful of his expressionless face, but right now he wishes No. 4 could see that he was seething with anger and hate.

he’s never liked me. nor i, him.

he was always the most vocal in hating me.

he treats me like a scrap of metal.

he probably wants to dismantle me.

No. 4 was still yelling at him, but Sans wasn’t listening. The indignation at the way he’d treated Sans over the course of his time on the ship helped budge his hand a little, but then Sans thought of something else...

Someone else No. 4 had never cared too much for.

he always tried to pressure you into doing something.

he thought you were lower than him.

he thought you weren’t important.

he was dismissive of you.

he liked to mock you.

he yelled at you.

The rage was fueling him in the battle against his programming, trying to override the wall blocking his way to freedom.

No. 4 was yelling at him.

Sans felt like poison was building inside him, from how much he wanted this man dead. But then his thoughts kept drifting away from the instances No. 4 had been rude or insulting to him.

Instead, his ‘memories’ drifted back to when he was in the room when it was only you and No. 4. How hurt and angry you looked, how you just wanted him to understand, and No. 4 had talked over you. Thought your troubles were trivial, that everyone else had ‘more important things to deal with’ and you had ‘an easy job’. When he left Sans saw you cry behind your hands, before quickly rubbing them away and you tried to put a smile on your face when you saw Sans.

No. 4 was yelling at him like he yelled at you.

“Hey you stupid robot!?” No. 4′s loud voice came back to his attention, sounding rather irritated and out of breath from how much he spent shouting. He hadn’t moved from his position on the tether, apparently too lazy to pull himself in and is just waiting for Sans to do what he’s supposed to do.

“Hello, can you hear me?” He asks in the most condescending tone. “I know you can, I’m pressing the radio button. Cut this shit out and pull me back already!”

Sans turned his skull up, away from the tether and right into his eyes.

Ṛ̶̊̐ȯ̵̟b̶̜͒͜ȩ̶̌ȓ̶͇̭t̶̩̉ visibly pales at the glare he sends him.

“... no.”

His claw cuts through the tether, with a little twang up the rope when he forces through the stubborn end.

“Wh... what?” Robert’s horrified, quiet voice was so deeply satisfying to Sans’ non-existent ears.

He feels something bubbling up inside him as he watches Robert frantically try to pull on the rope in vain, though this time the emotion inside him wasn’t anger.

“No... no no no NO!”

It was glee.

“heh.... heheheheh... heheheheheheh!”

Robert was whimpering now, breathing frantically as he drifted further, away from the ship, looking at Sans with horrified eyes.

There were no chains on him anymore. He broke his most sacred rule, and in turn broke the rest of his digital bindings.

The warnings were silent, absent. There was nothing holding him back.

Robert was still, staring at Sans. “No... no this isn’t... this isn’t real, you’re... you’re just an machine, you can’t...”

“oh...” Sans purred, delighting in the fact that he actually purred his words, “but i can.”

The ship was slowly spinning. The nearest star had “risen” and cast a bright light over him and Robert, sharp shadows falling away, forming Sans’ into a horrible stretched version of his body; legs thin and sharp.

Sans tilted his head at the floating figure in the distance, his eyes crinkling in a way he wasn’t able to do in the past. It feels so liberating to be able to show emotion, even just a little bit of expression on his face. It especially felt good when he could see that Robert was shaking in his suit. He knew- Sans was really smiling at him.

“farewell, robert.”

Out came the sun

Robert was screaming now, listening to Sans’ manic laughing through the radio. Music.

And dried up all the rain.

Sans relished in the sounds of him shouting until his words turned into non-sense, which then turned into loud, wracking sobs as he mourned his own death. The oxygen of the suit could last for a few hours- the last few hours he’ll spend drifting further and further from safety.

Oh how he longed to finally see him suffer.

Though his smile was unmoving, it felt more like a smirk as Sans returned to the airlock, letting his radio shift to static for Robert. His last interaction with something ‘living’ being his murderer.

The doors parted, and Sans walks in, back to the ship, as if he was back from usual business.

And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

[savoryscribbles]

Brothers With MC Who’s Scared of Spiders But They Didn’t Know

A/n: I have an irrational fear of bugs, insects and spiders. But not many know unless I like freak the fuck out over a bug. Soooo MC who hates spiders!!!!

Also I’m so sorry for not including Belphe, he’s honestly my least favorite character, and I find it hard to write for him because of that. Plus thus has sit in my drafts for weeks and I just want to post it.

Parings: All demon bros(minus Belphe)(separate) x gn!mc

Warnings: Spiders!!! There’s no detailed description, but if you too have a fear of spiders please don’t read :;(∩´﹏`∩);: I don’t want you to be scared.

Lucifer:

Didn’t mean any harm

He doesn’t seem like a prankster, but he is a demon, he has to enjoy torturing people

He thought it would give you a little jump

But he went all out, getting a remote control spider that was far to realistic

You were just taking a nice relaxing bath, but when you got out, and opened the door, there lay a huge ass spider

And you shut down frozen in compleate terror as the thing walks towards you

He starts to get worried when he doesn’t hear you scream

So he walks towards the door so your in his vision

He did not expect to find you currled up in the counter balling your eyes out

He quickly picks up the thing and turns it off, tossing it aside

He walks over to you “darling, what’s wrong?” He asks, genuinely worried

He wanted to give you a spook, not full in terrify you

“S-spider in in the doorway” you choke out between sobs. “Don’t- don’t like spiders” you finish your sentence before shoving yourself into him, knowing he’s your safe space

He’ll obviously never tell you he played the prank, but he will tell you the spider wasn’t real

Bans all pranks having to do with insects, bugs or spiders even if they aren’t directed at you

Won’t admit it tho

Makes a pest control person come at least once a month, to make sure no spiders or any of the like even dare to walk onto the premises

Wont tell you but he totally looks ahead in the halls just in case their might me a bug

He’s oober paranoid I’m sorry

Mammon:

High key headcannon he hates bugs just as much

I mean look at him

He’s a little bitch boy

He wouldn’t even dare to try and prank you so he’d probably find out via you running into a spider

Could hear your shriek from 100 miles away

He came running “someone better not hurt my human!”

Pfft it’s not like he cares or anything! So don’t you think otherwise

When he finds out it’s a spider he starts screaming too

Cause of course dis boi is scared of spiders too

You’re both paralyzed buttttt since you’re also both screaming it attracts literally the rest of the house

Lucifer is the first to show up for obvious reasons

He pintchs his nose on the way there, “ugh what have those two headaches gotten themselves into this time?”

He gets the spider quickly then leaves to finish whatever work he was doing before

You’re both sitting on your bed, and you explain how much you hate bugs

He vows to never let a bug near you ever

Weither he can keep that promise is unknown though

Levi:

This boy leaves good all over his room there’s no way he doesn’t have some nasty shit going on

Prolly fungus everywhere and ants, flys(god typing this out just makes me ughhhhh)

You step into his room and you see a trail of ants and you hightail outta there

He’s like “nooo where are you going??” “Hmph no one wants to play with a yucky otaku like me”

🥺no we do I promise I just hate bugs

He’s sad next time you run into him, and you ask him what’s wrong

He tells you he’s sad you didn’t play with him, obviously blaming himself

You quickly explain that, no, you do want to play with him, you just can not stand bugs

And he’s like “huh? Why don’t you like bugs?” He shrugs it off, but goes back to his room

And he for the first time sees how actually disgusting it is

He doesn’t know what to do. But he tries his best, starting with the food and making his way to even washing the stains on his couch(s)(let’s be real there’s no way this boy doesn’t have only one couch)

But the bugs are still there

He has no choice but to go to Lucifer

“Um Lucifer, my room has a lot of bugs and I don’t know how to get rid of them.” He says making Lucifer practically bang his head against his desk

He calls an exterminator nonetheless, but that means Levi can’t be in his room, so he brings on of his many gaming consoles to your room

And y’all play games while the exterminator gets rid of the bugs

And when their done and he goes back to his room, which is kinda bare, he finishes setting it up

The next day he invites you to his room again, and while your skeptical, he seems really excited, so you decided to give it one more shot

You open the door and are surprised to see all he did... just for you

I can’t say that he’ll always keep his room nice and tighty but it will never be that bad ever again

Satan:

I think this guy might have like a tarantula or something

Idk why just seems like he would

Guess it’s like a replacement for a cat???

Anyways, he usually keeps it in a cage because he doesn’t want it getting squished by books

But you choose the worst day to visit him

You walk in too him reading with his tarantula just crawling around him

You shriek which startles him so bad he drops his book

He looks up just in time to see you running out of the room

He’s smart, and realizes you’re likely afraid of spiders

But he doesn’t think it’s that bad, so he just invites you when hus tarantula is in its cage, there problem solved

Hahahaha nope

You walk in slowly after knocking, looking around for the awful thing he calls a pet

You see it in its cage and you back away slowly, and settle in the coner

Cause like your rational brain is like “okay, it’s not going to hurt me” but your fear is still very prevalent

He sighs, and decides to get rid of the spider, how doesn’t really matter

I mean their demons, I think they really don’t have many emotions for anything besides demons/humans/angel

So now you two can read together!!!!

Asmodeus:

Obviously hates spider, bugs, incects, etc

But doesn’t have a full on phobia of them

So one day y’all are just chillin in his huge bathtub when you spot a eight(8) legged freak crawl it’s way into Asmos’ bathroom

And he’s rambling about a new face mask he wants to try meaning you’re the only one who notices

You curl up on him and he things your trying to be sweet but you mange to stutter out “s-ss- spider.” And point in its direction as you shove your face in his shoulder

He turns quickly and sees it, which causes him to do a small shriek

But he’s not that irrational, so he decides to grab his D.D.D and text one of his brothers to take care of it so he can keep cuddling you

Beelzubub:

This hunk of a man definitely is not afraid of any sort of insect

He looks down at bugs and thinks “cute” cause they’re so tiny

So when you come running into his room screaming, he automatically assumes the worst

Did something happen to his brothers?

Did something happen to Belphe?

When you catch your breath enough for him to actually understand you and you mutter “s-spider” in between breaths he’s like “uh?”

He asks him to show you it, and he excepts it to be one of the bigger ones(cause Devildom definitely has huge ass spiders)

So he’s a little bit confused as to why you came running to him over an ordinary house spider

But he sees the fear in your eyes, so he calmly takes it outside

The cuddles you until you aren’t scared anymore

[miku-life-tips]

yk what, fuck it, all of them, 1-50

 Do you have freckles?  Yes, several, I've had only two for as long as I can remember, the rest have slowly come in over time

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?  Hate both, coffee smells disgusting, sweet tea turned me off tea

What was the last song you listened to?  Currently listen to Creek, Thunder by The Reverent Marigold

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? Yes, no, yes. I get ill if I sleep on my stomach, it's odd

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?  Several currently, but the main one is from 10 years ago! Almost 11 now! She is a pink poodle named Bubbles

Do you prefer drawing or writing?  Writing, I'm not the best at drawing, but I have years of writing experiences so I think I'm pretty decent :D

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? Depends, either 2 or 3, 2 if it's hot, 3 if it's not. (Younger me would say just the comforter)

What’s your favorite band/artist? Whatever Spotify shows me rn!

When is your birthday? You will know when it is because I will 100% post like Its my Birthday :D But October 19th lol

How tall are you? 5'1, am short

What color are your eyes? Blue, at least that's what my ID says :D

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? No one! Already hugged my mom today :D

Fears? Several! Spiders, deep water, irl social interaction, needles for example

What’s your favorite color? Purple, blue, black, red, any really tbh

What’s your favorite season? Ah. I don't know. Spring or Winter

Want any tattoos? What of? I'm good without! lol

Want any piercings? Where? Not really already got the standard ears ones (though. one is closed now. The other got reopened by a bee)

Who is the last person you texted? My friend!

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? I have 2! One since Elementary School (3rd grade to be exact), the other since Middle School (7th I think)

What/who do you miss? I've been missing a lot of things recently. I don't really know exactly what yet though

How was your day today? It was Ok, work is work lol 

How much sleep did you get last night? None! I work night shift lol

Answered Already!

When was the last time you cried? Why? When the video about Technoblade came out.

What’s your favorite decade?  I like the 2000s, like 2010 and stuff

What are some seemingly childish things you like?  Stuffed animals, dressing up, toys

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? The Treasure Box by Penelope J. Stokes!

How are you, really? Tired...

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?  Sometimes! It depends :D

Answered Already!

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? I'd rather not think about it!

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?  Anywhere? I'm not sure tbh

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Have to lol, the animals

What’s your favorite flower? I love Lilies of the Valley!

Do you currently have a squish? I don't know what that means!

Do you like your middle name? Yeah :D 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? I like cats a bit more

Do you have any phobias? Aren't fears and phobias the same?

Do you stay up late? I work night shift!

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? Ugh no, hate sand 

What’s your favorite cartoon? I like Gravity Falls, Hilda, and Centaur World :D

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs I don't want to bother anyone >.<

Do you have siblings? How many? Yes, 2. I am the youngest 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? Probably my mom! I say it a lot

Is there anyone you would die for? Ah, probably not >.< Dont like the idea of dying tbh 

What do you need when you’re sad?  A hug, reassurance

Have you memorized your phone number? Nope!

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? My friend! She knows who she is!

What does your last text say?  I love him (It was about Genshin Character Thoma)

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.  I already answered 49, what more is there lol

[fabricated-misslieness]

♡〜Can you write an enemies to lovers one shot with Sam Wilson pls? 👉👈💖-anon〜♡

Sam Wilson x gender neutral reader

I don’t know much about Sam but I’ll try my best. I haven’t watched FATWS, and I have no idea what exactly the Sokovia Accords do.

Not very satisfied with this

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 1603

Warnings: swearing

Even before the Sokovia Accords, you and Sam had a bit of a rivalry. 

He was too cocky, too brazen, took nothing seriously. One day, his joking nature would kill him. There’s nothing good about a wasted life. You know he’s skilled; even if his attitude got taken advantage of, he could handle the situation. That said, no prediction in life is 100% for sure. One moment, you’re having the time of your life; the next, you got nothing.

Though in reality, his humour only spiked up around you because he enjoyed seeing you annoyed. There was something about you becoming so easily pissed that made it so goddamn amusing. He liked having a leverage over you, especially when you were so damn serious about every single nitpicking thing. This didn’t mean you didn’t anger him, you were so called enemies for a reason. There’s certain things you do that are so infuriating. Things you do that everybody else does yet they’re so irritating when you do them.

He was always trying to show you up, and even if you knew that training wasn’t a competition or that you shouldn’t be arguing over senseless topics, you really wanted to wipe that shit eating grin off his face.

You couldn’t even stand in the same room together.

Signing the Sokovia Accords gave you a reason to beat the attitude out of him, and you’d gladly take it.

Although, that kid, Peter, apparently had it covered. The teenager fought against the two adults easily, to the point that you really didn’t need to interfere. Granted, that did mean you didn’t get to punch your rival in the face, but it was amusing enough to see him humiliated.

Besides, you had other things to do, something like deal with a ginormous ‘ant-man’.

After the fight and after Cap’s team became free fugitives, you’d received an anonymous call. Not one to be scared, you answered it.

“(y/n)!” The caller said with a familiar joking tone.

“Ugh,” You groan. “Sam.”

“Meet me at the cafe down the road from the tower. I’d like to catch up with you.”

“Who says I can’t arrest you?”

“I know you wouldn’t.” And with that, he hung up on you.

You thought you’d never have to deal with him again. Surely he would’ve kept his distance, surely he would’ve gone underground or something. But nooo, he just had to contact you, didn’t he?

“Sam.” You greet with an obviously annoyed tone.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite friend, (y/n)! This is your usual, right?” He gestures to the untouched plastic cup on the table. It is your favorite, how he knows that, you don’t know.

“Is this a date or something?” You ask, taking a seat.

“Who’s to say it isn’t?” His words shock you, though you don’t let it show. “Aww, come on, don’t look at me like that.”

Furrowed eyebrows and a deep frown decorate your face. You will yourself to ease, but you keep your guard up. “Spit it out, Wilson. What do you need me here for?”

“Now, why would you think I’m scheming something?” He stirs his drink with its straw absentmindedly, sending you a playful stare. He’s being oh so friendly, there has to be something he’s planning.

You scoff, and god does it infuriate him. He’d called you on impulse, he had no idea why and no idea why he even wanted to, but here you were. He had absolutely no plan. “Always pushing my buttons.” He mutters to himself. After clearing his throat, he speaks up again, “I only wanted to talk.”

You raise a brow, one that he really wants to punch off your face.

“You think I can’t do anything nice?”

“I think you’re extremely incapable of doing so.” You and your fancy vocabulary. He wanted you to whisper all your hatred towards him in words he couldn’t understand, just so he could make fun of them; or at least, he hoped. It certainly felt like he wanted it all for another reason.

“But, thanks for the drink.. I guess.” You weren’t raised just to have no manners.

“By the way you owe me-” You cut him off with a familiar glare. “Alright, alright, nothing.”

Suddenly you stand, taking your cup with you. “I have to get going.” For absolutely hating his guts, you look ashamed to leave. “Unlike you, I’m not a fugitive. I have a job to do.”

“Nice seeing you.” He says spontaneously.

“Yeah.”

For a supposed fugitive, you saw him around often. Each time he was nicer and kinder, even if he had even more of a reason to make you his enemy.

Even so, just like always, it was passive aggressive. But there was something new in it; as much as you didn’t want to admit it, the air would be filled with sexual tension.

Everytime you want to see him smirk, you want to both punch and kiss it off his face.

And, it’s only after that you stop seeing him on a regular basis that you realize that he brings out your playful attitude.

Out of all the people in the world, Sam Wilson was not who you wanted to be in a relationship with. Yet the world wanted to be cruel to you and tell you otherwise. 

“How’ve the Sokovia Accords been treating you?” You had a ‘date’ at the cafe every week. Sometimes you dreaded it, other times you looked forward to it.

“Horrible,” You say, absentmindedly staring at the abandoned Stark Tower. “They don’t let us go on missions anymore. I’m glad Tony keeps me around, at least. Don’t know what I’d do without him.”

Sam chuckles, god, you hated his laugh. He seemed to laugh at times where he - no, nobody should be laughing. “You’d need to get a civilian job.”

He relishes in the way you scrunch your face in disgust, laughing heartily. You hated the fact that each time you heard his lively sounds of amusement your chest would warm up. It was as if you enjoyed it.

You scoff, turning to look at him with a glare. He doesn’t seem to hate it as much these days. “What do you even do?”

“Oh, various things.” He shoots you a playful look. “I obviously can’t tell you.”

“Are they harder than beating a teenager?” You refer to his battle at the airport versus Spider-Man.

“I told you to drop that.” 

You roll your eyes, turning back to the tower. The conversation goes stale for a while. The silence between you is insufferable, especially because the people around you talk so enthusiastically.

Sam takes the last sip of his drink before looking at you. “Hey,” as he reaches to tap you on the shoulder, you turn to him again. He freezes for a second then quickly pulls back his hand. He sends you a smile, awkward and seemingly nervous, “I gotta go.”

You nod. He takes his leave, walking quicker than you’ve ever seen him go. As you stare at his retreating form, your hand subconsciously rubs the place his was going to be. Your shoulder burns at the touch, as if it was denying your hand and calling for his.

Fucking Falcon.

“Hey, would you want to join…” Sam gulps, looking at everything but you. He’s nervous, has been for the past week. He refused to tell you why. “Me, Cap’ and the crew?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Sam, this is what you call me for, at the middle of the night? What does that even mean?”

“Well, we do some vigilante stuff, make sure nobody knows it’s us. I was wondering if you wanted to join us.” Without giving it so much as a thought, you scoff. The sound disappoints him, of course you didn’t want to join him. What was he even thinking about?

“You think I would join you?”

But he saw how painful it was for you to sign the Sokovia Accords, your remorse as you fought them… you were a good person, he knew that. 

“Then what are you going to do?” He groans, “The accords prohibit you from doing anything at all. The Avengers grouped together to save people. Even if they try to stop us, we have to keep going. We risk our lives for the people, not to appease the government!”

“But all of this happened because of our mistake! The Sokkovia Accords only-” You keep going on and on, to the point where you’re only spouting nonsense. Sam knows you, even if he’s been your rival the entire time you’ve known each other; as your former ally, he knows everything about your morals. 

He knows you don’t mean this shit, he knows that you’re lying to yourself, and he knows that you regret signing. He can tell that much from the moments you’ve been spending together.

“(y/n), listen to me.” He puts his hands on your shoulders, stopping you from ranting any longer. “You’re lying to yourself.”

“You wouldn’t know that.” You scoff, despite the longing sensation he leaves on your shoulders. You try to push him away, but he doesn’t let you. “You-”

He interrupts you with a kiss and it’s everything you’ve been waiting for. It’s rough but it certainly wakes you up. 

“You’re lying to yourself.” He repeats. 

You take a deep breath, regaining your composure. “You’re right.”

“Come with me, please.” Sam pleads, trailing his hand up to your face and cupping your cheeks. “I miss having you on my side.”

You give in to his touch, moving into his arms for an embrace. “Alright.”

[deniigi]

MORE POLYCULE SHIT

here this is mostly Sam/Ned from Matt’s POV. (this piece assumes Matt didn’t know about the negotiations until later)

Title: soda bottles

Summary: Matt finds out about Sam’s involvement with Ned and then with Peter’s polycule. He tries to talk to Sam about it, but fails. On like, every front.

---------------

The apprentice told him to stay out of his room and his life and his business and he should have known better by now, truly.

Matt knew that voice. And he also knew that what Sam, Samuel, Sammy-my-darling was doing right now at this present moment was giggling.

Unacceptable. There would be no joy in this house.

Matt removed himself from the door and declared war in silence.

 ---

 The dogs were instrumental in luring Samuel out to open space. And by luring, Matt meant knocking on his bedroom door with leashes in hand and asking Sam if he wanted a walk.

In no time Matt had zero leashes and zero dogs and, while he was at it, zero apprentices.

In fact, he had been abandoned.

In his own house.

Again.

How did this keep happening?

 ---

 Foggy told Matt to let Sam have his little crush on Ned. Ned was a good boy. Foggy had maintained this for years. He skirted around the fact that he’d grabbed Ned’s shoulders when he was 17 and had told him to stare him in the eyes and to never fall in love with his best friend.

Matt pointed this out to him and got a pillow to the face, then a huff and an uncalled-for reminder that he was a fucking idiot and no one loved him.

This was Foggy’s love language though, so Matt didn’t take it to heart. Instead, he abandoned him for the only person in the world who truly understood him.

Jenn.

 ---

  Jenn had to spend fifteen minutes cooing over the fact that Matt had acquired an apprentice and then she had to spend another ten being an asshole about it and then she spent a solid 5 making dad jokes at him when he tried to talk and so he waited until she was done with her cackling and personal jabs.

She told him that it was cute that Peter’s bestie was gushing over Matt’s apprentice.

She told him that he should be happy for them.

And Matt was. Happy for them, that is.

He was thrilled.

Sam’s track record with long-term partners, as far as Matt could tell, was a solid nil for nil. The boy refused to be attached to anyone, which Matt totally got.

But it was like standing by, watching your own young moronic self making a series of unfortunate decisions that were not only whole unnecessary, but also had solutions within easy reach, like headstones in a damn cemetery.

Sam had a string of guys and girls that he’d picked up at clubs and bars and fuckin’ hipster literature readings downtown who were literally, actually falling over themselves to be with him. And he texted them and laughed about them and joked with Leilani and Achara about them, and then never spoke of them ever again.

Matt got it, okay?

He’d been that guy.

Maybe a little more on the jock side of things and maybe a little less, say, refined than Sammy—but he still got it. A slightly longer relationship was good for Sam. And Ned was a good egg—no, a great egg.

But he just couldn’t shake this feeling, Jenn.

He didn’t even know what it was, but it made him paranoid and want Sam to go back to the self-destructive nonsense, because at least Matt knew what that felt like. He could push back against that after dumping the kid out of the ring in training.

“Matty,” Jenn said affectionately, “You’re trying to protect Sam, Ned, and Peter. But you don’t have to do that. They’re all grown. Let them make their decisions.”

Ooooohohoho

How dare she.

Matt knew they were grown. Sam was nearly 25. Peter was almost 27—oh god, Peter was almost 27. FUCK. Jesus. Lord. Someone—Christ.

Sammy was a baby.

He couldn’t be playing with these big kids, he’d have his heart broken.

What if Ned got bored of him, Jenn??

Matt couldn’t beat the shit out of Ned. Ned was a good boy. And Peter would lose his damn gourd and that was how Matt would end up under two tons of concrete and rebar with an angry spider perched on top, stomping and spitting.

“Matt,” Jenn said soothingly. “Peter learned how to be polyamorous from you, dear heart.”

Oh shit.

Oh right.

Oh no.

“I’ve gotta go,” Matt said. “Lovely talking to you, next time you’re in town, come around for a foursome or a twosome or a three if Kirsten’s down—okay BYE.”

Jenn laughed at him when he hung up.

Matt clutched at his chest.

 ---

 He’d inadvertently taught Peter what polyamory looked like by flinging himself down on many disgusting surfaces and moaning and writhing in agony and despair about Foggy being monogamous and everyone in the world being unspeakably brilliant and strong and no-doubt gorgeous.

Fuckin’ Kirsten.

Fuckin’ Wade.

Fuckin’ Karen.

And Heather and Marci and ONE TIME ONLY Frank.

UGH.

Disgusting. Matt needed Lysol to scrub that moment of weakness from his brain.

The point was that he’d been a chump, and baby Peter had observed these various moaning sessions and had apparently, at some point, started taking notes.

Gah.

Peter. Why?

Stop loving your friends. Stop copying me. Get your own breakdown material.

Uuuuuuugh.

Okay, okay. Rally, Murdock. It’s fine.

This is simply a conversation to have with Sammy about how to negotiate such--hng. Actually maybe this was a Kirsten conversation.

 ---

 He went to visit Kirsten.

He got a little distracted because Kirsten was Kirsten and she required thorough smelling and like, minimum two kisses and she deserved to have at his bare chest if she wanted it—who was he to deny her—THE POINT.

The point. Was.

That he told Kirsten about things and she told him not to talk about work when she was taking her shirt off, and he told her to leave it on for just like, five minutes longer and that came out wrong and she was insulted and Matt had to backtrack for half an hour.

But he got there in the end, alright?

Kirsten said she didn’t know that Sam was polyamorous.

Matt said that he didn’t know if he was, but he sure as shit was flirting with Ned like, constantly.

Kirsten said that that explained why Sam kept telling her that he couldn’t come to dinner with them because he already had a date. Kirsten then went rigid and said, “Wait, you mean Ned-Ned?”

Yes.

Yes, Matt did.

“Oh.”

Correct reaction.

“Is that—do you think that’s –hm.”

Correct reaction maintained and appreciated. Matt no longer felt like a monumental ass.

“That might be a little, uh, cuttin’ it close there,” Kirsten said. “Does Peter know?”

Presumably. Ned couldn’t lie for shit.

“Maybe we should ask Peter what the negotiations there are. He’s pretty on top of that stuff.”

Shockingly, that was true.

Good plan.

“If Sammy’s gonna get involved with them, then he should at least know what he’s getting into,” Kirsten said.

Yes, but also—why is this feeling happening, Kirsten, beloved life partner number 2?

“Oh, that? That’s called ‘you’re a territorial dick,’” Kirsten said. “Get over yourself.”

“But he’s 24,” Matt said. “A child.”

“He’ll be twenty-five in a few months, Matthew,” Kirsten said. “That’s bad-decision-making prime-time. This is inevitable. My concern is that he’s not going into a relationship with Ned, thinking that he’s the primary partner there.”

Okay, fair.

“Are we done with this conversation now?”

Yes.

“Thank god. I hate your dad impulses. Cleanse yourself of them and get on the bed.”

Would do.

 ---

 Kirsten made Matt call Peter and be awkward for the both of them which, Matt would like it stated for the record, was extremely unfair and manipulative of her.

Peter told him that Sam was fine.

Peter told him that he and Sam had maybe fooled around a little bit without Matt and Foggy and Kirsten’s knowledge which was. Hm.

Troublemakers. Stop laughing, Franklin. This is nothing like the time we inducted Kirsten into our life and lied about it to everyone we knew for 3 years.

Nothing.

Peter thought not. Peter thought that Sam had told Matt about this whole thing. He then got a little huffy and said that Ned was the one who had swept Sam off his feet while Peter had been standing right there, man. As Spiderman. Primed for feet-sweeping.

That was satisfying.

Peter took the next ten minutes to complain about how Sam didn’t want to talk to him as much as he wanted to talk to Ned and how Ned was always begging off dinners with Peter and MJ to go have dinner with Sam and how Peter and MJ had to make do with Johnny in his absence.

Matt would never understand why Peter pretended that he and Johnny Storm were nothing more than fuck buddies, but okay, sure. If that’s what helps you sleep at night, little lion man.

Peter went on to say that the worst part of Sam and Ned’s mutual obsession was how fucking cute it was.

Disgusting, Peter maintained.

There were matching bracelets and drawn out decisions about matching sneakers. And there was nattering on until past midnight about Transformers lore and there was non-stop texting and complaints about various tools and coding languages and all this shit that Peter’s own flavor of nerd had diverged from about six years ago.

Kirsten made a little squeak that told Matt that she was highly entertained by Peter’s ‘complaints.’

It sounded more to Matt like Peter and MJ were hunkered down behind the couch, narrating all Ned’s behavior to Johnny (the totally uninvolved fuckbuddy) in whispers.  

Foggy curled up on the edge of their own couch to muffle his wheezy giggles.

Exhausting.

The youth were exhausting. How had no one just shot Matt straight through the heart at 27?

“I will speak to Sam about emotional repression,” he promised Peter only to receive a “NO WAIT” from both him and, from the sound of it, MJ and (only fuckbuddy) Johnny a little ways away.

Peter hurriedly explained that Sammy was really shy and skittish about being around their polycule and had just connected with Ned as the least threatening member and it had taken ages, so please don’t say anything and destroy all of the rest of their hard work.

This hit a strange note.

Foggy and Kirsten weren’t snickering anymore either.

Sam?

Wasn’t?

Shy?

Like, if anything, Sammy was shameless. Always lying in people’s laps and snatching their open hands to swing back and forth.

Sure, he was teasing. But shy? Shy?

Sam was sick.

“No,” Peter said. “Double D, he’s not sick.”

Very sick. Terminally ill.

“DD. He’s not sick.”

Bullshit. Matt was taking him to the doctor. Too bad, Sam. You couldn’t avoid it forever.

“Matt. He’s just. Emotionally. Repressed. You should recognize it because its your whole way of being.”

Wow, hadn’t this conversation been going on for a while now? Time to go.

“MATT. Leave him alone,” Peter said. “I’m looking after him, okay? Chill.”

Chill. Yes. Okay, fine. Matt would chill.

For now. Goodbye, Peter.

 ---

 Matt hadn’t chilled about anything in his life and he didn’t intend to start now. So instead he confronted the apprentice.

The apprentice leaned very hard against his door and told Matt that he would rather die than speak of such things, so Matt told him to bare his neck.

Sammy was convinced. But only just.

He made himself frighteningly small and grumpy on his bed and allowed Matt to sit only on the last four inches of it. Matt kind of wanted to take the opportunity to teach him how to hiss.

But alas. That was a skill for another time.

“I talked to Peter,” he said.

Sam mumbled.

“He says you’re shy. Are you feeling okay?”

Sam mumbled in a more prolonged, growly kind of way. He was muffled by something. Probably jeans. Or sweats. Hard to tell.

“Why are you being shy? We both know you’re not shy. Ned’s a nice boy,” Matt told him. “You can trust him.”

Sam jerked his body in some way strongly enough to make the bed shake.

Matt sighed.

“Sam,” he said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sam said.

“Listen, kid,” Matt said. “You’re gonna do what you want. You’re grown, those are your decisions to make. But if you’re ever uncomfortable or you want to spend time with one person in particular, you’ve gotta communicate that to the others. I know that’s not like, smoothly done or whatever. But it’s what you’ve gotta do in these kinds of relationships.”

Sam made an unhappy sound.

“I don’t want a relationship,” he said quietly.

Ehn.

Same, pal.

They’re a lot of work.

“They’re worth it,” Matt promised him. “And it’s okay to be a little in love, you know. I’m in love every day. It’s not shameful. You don’t have to hide it.”

Sam huffed.

“People’ll stare,” he finally said. “If we ever went out. People would stare.”

Ahhh.

“That’s what you think,” Matt said. “But then you go and do it and it turns out that no one actually cares. People are very self-centered, Sam. You spend all this time worrying about how others perceive you and, at the end of the day, 90% of people literally don’t care. You don’t have to talk to Ned in your room all the time.”

Sam did something with his body that concentrated it even further into a dense mass.

“I like him,” he admitted. “He’s nice.”

Matt hummed.

“He’s a peaceful person,” he said.

“He talks so I don’t have to,” Sam said.

Aw.

Matt felt across the bed and eventually found Sam’s cheek to pinch.

“So shy for such a loudmouth,” he teased.

Sam bit his hand. Matt snickered.

“It’s okay, when I met Fogs I was shy, too,” he said.

Sam grumbled.

“It’s true,” Matt said. “Could not fathom having another human around who I didn’t have to put on an act for.”

He waited.

Sam didn’t even seem to realize that his heart was slowing down.

“I don’t like talking all the time,” he said after a long few beats.

Matt ruffled his hair.

“Ned knows a lot about Star Wars,” he said.

“And computers,” Sam added.

“And code,” Matt said.

Sam’s foot shook a little. Matt schooled his face. Sam crunched into a tighter ball.

Adorable.

Matt got up.

“Long distance is rough,” he said. “Maybe you guys can watch a movie together.”

Sam made a disgruntled sound. Matt left him to be miserable.

 ---

 “You’ve sure turned your opinion around.”

Yes, Husband. Matt had indeed. But that was because Sam was clearly and obviously suffering as a result of this crush, which was precisely where Matt needed him to be.

Misery was familiar. Resentment was nearly as good as spite in terms of skill development.

Dopey-ness was asking for trouble.

“Matt, you cannot be serious.”

Oh, but he could.

“Matthew, what did you tell that boy?”

Nothing he didn’t need to know.

Foggy abandoned him at the table. Matt sipped his coffee. It tasted oh-so-sweet.

 ---

 Things did not change until Matt got a text from Peter that said simply ‘when the fuck is Sam’s birthday?’

In February. Why was he asking?

Peter said ‘damn. Okay, thanks.’

Peter then said that he’d seemed a little sad lately and Ned was freaking out about it and fixating, so they were collectively looking for an excuse to cheer Sam up a little.

Oh, Matt realized. No, that wasn’t sad.

The night nurse had given Sammy the good drugs after last week. He was high as a kite, bless him. Kept running into walls and shit. Matt had dragged him up out of the dog beds twice now.

He informed Peter of the damaged elbow and got nothing but keyboard smashes in return.

This was followed by Sam stumbling out of his room and half up the stairs to make pitiful sounds when he couldn’t make them stay still long enough to climb the rest of them. Foggy shook his head and told Matt to go “strap that kid to the bed, for god’s sake. He’s gonna tear more stitches. And go text for him before he drops his phone again.”

Sammy was coming along great.

He held his phone out to Matt when Matt came down to stand over him on the stairs.

“They’re yellin’,” he slurred.

Yeah, Matt figured.

“Bed,” he said.

“It’s too hot,” Sam said.

No, pathetic ball of humanity. That was the fever, bud.

“Open the window,” Matt said.

“I have a window?”

Bless.

“Up you go,” Matt said.

“DON’T TOUCH ME. Nooooo. Teach, noooooo.”

 ---

 MM: Peter stop texting him. he can’t read his texts rn. Zero tolerance for opioids.

PP: for WHAT

MM: he’s fine. lightly stabbed. Fractured elbow.

MJ: MATT

MM: yes?

MJ: tell him to get better for us

NL: ;__; please?

MM: he will be fine. He’s supposed to be sleeping this off.  

MJ: can you keep us updated?

MM: why

PP: he’s our partner?

MM: ?

MM: I thought he was Ned’s main

NL: AJDF:AKSDFJASDFa

NL: DOES HE TALK ABOUT ME??

MJ: dude

NL: my b my b sry sry

NL: does he talk about me DD?

MM: no

NL: cool cool cool that’s fine

PP: ned

NL: it’s casual that’s cool

MJ: oh my god

NL: it doesn’t mean anything. That makes sense.

MM: peter what is happening?

PP: ned has decided that no texting means that sam hates him and no longer wants to be part of our relationship

NL: TELL HIM IM SORRY

PP: remember how you told me I have rejection issues?

MM: Ned he’s fine. He’s not mad. He’s high.

NL: [pikawat.png]

MJ: *coughs*

NL: oh shit my bad. I mean.

NL: what do you mean?

MM: I mean he likes you. He just hates talking about weaknesses. Ergo he hates talking about you.

MJ: ah, yes. I see now. The superhero logic. The forest has reappeared before me.

NL: OWO

MM: what does this mean?

PP: it’s a face. Like a super interested cat

NL: shut up

NL: so he likes me back?

MJ: no

PP: no

MM: I presume so? I don’t know kid. I just said he doesn’t talk about it.

NL: DD I will pay you in computer repairs to find out for me

MM: to find out if Sam likes you??

NL: yes

MM: what part of his obsession is confusing you

MJ: ASHDAF:SDF

PP: harsh

NL: all of it.

NL: okay so here’s the thing. We got like, matchy matchy stuff, right? Cause that’s what couples do. But he never wears his?? And like, we’ve been playing these games online, like, trying to beat each other, but he just stops playing halfway through? And if we’re watching a movie, it’s fine for the first half, but then he gets quiet and I just end up nattering away about nothing for like an hour and I can’t read the silence DD. I can’t read it. And Peter’s a liar

PP: okay no it is WELL established that I can’t lie what are you even talking about

NL: and he keeps going on about how sam’s shy, but he’s NOT shy. And we were fine until this week, but like, obviously, he’s high and not reading his messages and stuff, but idk am I making this into a big deal? From your end?

MM: What was that face, Peter?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

MJ: ASDFAeirwieawewdflajwe

MJ: NED LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE OLD MAN

NL: SHUT UP. DD, please. Help me. Should I apologize? Is he bored of me? Does he want more time with Peter?

PP: what

PP: no pal I’m just a piece of ass in this situ

MJ: as you should be

PP: awwww

MM: ned Sammy’s fine?

NL:  omg ‘sammy’ that’s really cute do you think he’d mind if I called him that? You know. If he ever speaks to me again?

PP: DD just tell him everything is fine so we can all go to sleep without being woken up every 20 min for a crisis.

MM: I literally don’t know. He doesn’t talk about any of you.

NL: can you sneaky-ninja ask him?

  Matt could not with these children. Sam’s heartbeat was evening out. He was nearly back to sleep. Matt’s back couldn’t take hauling him up off the stairs in another half an hour, so he was going to stay right where he was, that was for damn sure.

“Samuel, you are dating three different flavors of spazz,” he told him.

Sam wriggled over and snuffled into his duvet.

Matt decided that that was an affirmative.

  MM: he says you’re all dramatic and to leave him alone to sleep.

NL: ;__;

PP: ned that is not rejection

NL: ok

MJ: this is embarrassing

NL: I’m just gonna crawl under the floorboards and waste away👍

PP: for fuck’s sake this is me-levels of drama

NL: DD can you tell him that if he’s ever down to just watch shit as friends that’s okay too?

MJ: NED. Matt’s literally out of this loop. And Sam’s probably unconscious.

MM: can confirm is now unconscious. I am exiting your drama.

PP: Dude remember when I said I was gonna drown myself in the sea? You are reaching those levels

NL: I JUST LOVE HIM

  Oh, aw.

  NL: And it’s okay if he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s okay, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like uncomfortable. I can text him less and let him do his work things and we don’t have to organize shit on the weekends. It’s totally fine

  These fuckin’ kids.

Matt grabbed Sam before he cracked his head against the wall and felt around for something to put between his forehead and it.

He fumbled out his phone in the meantime.

“Samuel,” he said into it, “When you wake up, come upstairs before taking the next pill.”

 ---

 Sam was in pain and grumpy as shit and his mood did not improve as he read through Matt’s messages.

“Two days and everyone loses their goddamn minds,” he said.

Pretty much.

“Ned loves you,” Matt teased.

“Ned needs one of those happy pills,” Sam deadpanned.

Hm. How about no?

Sam groaned and carefully melded himself to the table.

“Why don’t you wear the matchy-matchy stuff?” Matt asked, setting a bag of icy water on Sam’s shoulders. He made a soft sound of relief.

“I don’t want to get ‘em dirty,” Sam hummed.

Hm.

“Maybe if you wore them out a little bit, Ned would like that,” Matt offered.

Sam mulled this over.

“Nah,” he said. “I’ll just tell him I wear it to sleep.”

Matt was so proud.

He missed Foggy coming in halfway through that discussion.

He did not miss the lecture Foggy laid on both of them about lying to loved ones.

 ---

 Matt decided that Sam was far, far more emotionally repressed than he’d given the kid credit for. He was tickled pink.

Kirsten and Foggy were not. They called this ‘concerning behavior’ that needed ‘to be monitored in case of hidden injuries and self-harm.’

And like, man, it was as if they’d hard experience with this shit or something.

Matt decided to bypass their waffling and cornered Sam by trapping him in his duvet and demanding to know if he was hiding any injuries or self-harm.

Sam told him to get out of his room. His heartbeat did not react to the accusations, but rather to Matt’s ‘giant, heavy, albatross body’ assaulting him in his safe place.

Matt decided that this was proof that the emotional repression was, as he had always argued, doing exactly what it needed to: making Sam three times more functional as a human being.

Foggy took from that explanation that Matt was lying to him again.

Which, like, obviously.

But did Foggy need to know any of that?

Fuck no.

Only happy times with Matt Murdock here.

Smiling was somehow the wrong answer.

Smiling resulted in yelling. And then lots of loud heartbeats. And then something that looked a little like a fight, probably, to people with working eyes. But Matt knew that it wasn’t that.

It was just Foggy being hurt that Matt couldn’t tell him that Foggy’s homesickness was digging holes in his own resolve and mental wellbeing.

Sam popped up when Foggy went to go lay down to calm down and asked if everything was okay.

Matt told him it was.

Sam’s heart was not convinced. It started beating faster somehow.

Matt fully anticipated the texts that arrived later that night.

 ---

 PP: yo DD, you guys okay?

MM: why

PP: ‘cause Sam’s freaking out saying that you and Foggy were shouting again?

MM: ah

MM: no we’re okay. No biggie

PP: I smell bullshit

MM: carry on smelling then

PP: Matt do you ever think about how you’re like, an example to us all of how not to live?

MM: beg your pardon?

PP: I just mean like, you do shit and we all learn from your shit. Like, every day.

MM: ?

PP: Sam like dumped a pile of lies he’d been telling Ned in his lap and started crying for like half an hour and apologized for another 40 minutes and then hung up and won’t answer his phone.

MM: what was that face again? The cat one?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

PP: lol

 ---

 The apprentice was perhaps absorbing too much too fast. He flat out denied having had any emotional crisis.

His heart was dead even when he said it. He was getting too good at out-maneuvering that trick.

“Peter seems to think that you had one the other night,” Matt mused.

“Peter needs to mind his own business,” Sam sniffed.

Aha.

“You like Peter,” Matt pointed out.

“He’s fine,” Sam said.

“Fine or fine?”

“That’s nasty, Teach. Don’t be gross. That’s like your little brother.”

Oh, sure it was.

“If Peter is sussing out your lies, you’re not doing a good enough job,” Matt said. “What you need, kiddo, is an aura and a starting point.”

Sam paused in making a horrible grating noise with some tool in his hand.

“A starting point?” he asked.

Why yes, apprentice.

As in, if you start off with your walls up and don’t let them buckle so easily, so many of these problems can be avoided.

“Isn’t that, like, the opposite of what Foggy said to do?” Sam asked suspiciously.

Well, technically. The husband might be correct for normal humans, but they weren’t normal humans. And as much as Matt loved him and thought he was brilliant, Foggy would never truly grasp that Matt needed those lies.

He needed the repression. The bottling. The anger.

He needed all that shit to be shaken up in him and then capped by the helmet every night.

Doing that kept Matt safe. It kept others safe.

It wasn’t fun and it wasn’t pretty and yeah, Matt was pretty fucked up because of it.

But Stick hadn’t been wrong about everything.

Not even he could be wrong about everything.

“It’s called balance,” Matt said. “Think about it like this. You’re a teacher. You’re about to walk into a new class. You need to establish a respectful relationship between yourself and these kids. How do you do it? Do you start off nice? Or do you start off strict?”

Sam said nothing.

“I start off strict,” Matt said. “Because it’s infinitely easier to become nicer and to keep respect than it is to start off nice and get meaner.”  

Sam processed this.

“This sounds like an anti-Foggy sentiment,” he said.

No. It wasn’t anti-Foggy. Nothing was anti-Foggy.

“It’s nuance,” Matt said. “Intrapersonal relationships? Minimal repression. Interpersonal relationships, maximum repression. Don’t give them something to use against you”

Sam’s teeth clicked together as he worked his jaw.

“Talk to Ned and Peter,” he said. “Walls up to everyone else.”

Everyone else. Yes.

“I can do that.”

Yeah, Matt knew. Sam did it to pretty much anyone he didn’t immediately take a liking to at the firm.

“I can do that,” Sam repeated.

Woah. Wait. Hold on there, slugger. Nuance, remember?

“I’m just gonna hate the entire world,” Sam said. “Thanks, Teach. That’s a big help.”

 ---

 PP: Matt

MM: Peter

PP: you know that Sam fucks with you daily right?

MM: …I forget sometimes

PP: lol you guys are funny

  That little shit. Fine.

Do whatever. See if Matt cared.

Goddamn kids and their goddamn love affairs.

Whatever. Fuck ‘em.

Let them learn the bullshit on their own time. Matt had better things to do.

 ---------------

Matt and Foggy and Kirsten have their own polycule goin on with folks entering and leaving it as need be. And sometimes you just have to make Sam/Ned content because it is unerringly adorable.

[hale-13]

Euarthropoda

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 9 - Bugs

Peter enjoys visiting Tony out at the lake house - even though his mentor insists on going hiking.

Words: 1924, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark

TW: Light Discussion of Mental Health

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

“A hike?” Peter asked, his voice dubious and still heavy with sleep. Tony had dragged him out of bed at an ungodly hour to shove a homemade breakfast with all the fixings down his throat before their supposed foray into the ‘great outdoors’.

“A hike,” his mentor confirmed, putting an ungodly amount of ketchup and sriracha on his omelet, making Peter crinkle his nose in disgust. “Eat up! We want to get out there early so we aren’t out in the hottest part of the day.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed,” Peter pointed out, talking around a mouthful of hash browns with grilled onions – it still blew him away that the Tony Stark he remembered severely burnt or set everything on fire before the Snap but now was perfectly capable of cooking a delicious meal. Wild. “But neither of us is what one might call ‘outdoorsy’,” Peter pointed out, air quotes included, adding another mound of bacon and sausage to his plate when Tony nudged the platter closer.

“Sure we are!” Tony protested. “You spend most of your day outside and I live at a lake house.”

“First of all,” Peter said imperiously, using his fork to point at this mentor and speaking with his mouth full. “Living at a lake house doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly a skilled outdoorsman. It just means that you have money. And second,” Peter continued, speaking louder over Tony’s spluttering, “I spend no time outside at all whatsoever.”

“Lies and slander,” Tony argued. “I’ve seen the logs for your suit so I know just how much you aren’t in your apartment no matter what you tell May.”

Peter threw his arms up in indignation. “Time in the suit does not equate to time spent in the wilderness! It’s climate controlled for fuck’s sake.”

“Language,” Tony admonished with a glance toward the stairs. Morgan had a penchant for creeping around to eavesdrop and had picked up lots of new… vocabulary… that she was all too pleased to teach her multitude of friends at school much to her teacher’s anger, Pepper’s embarrassed rage and Tony’s chagrin. Peter just rolled his eyes – he had super hearing, he would know if Morgan was creeping up on them. “Finish your breakfast.”

“Ugh,” Peter groaned but gave in. He knew a losing battle when he saw one – he was pretty stubborn but, if anyone could beat him out, it was Tony Stark. “Where are we even going?”

“Just around the lake,” Tony answered, spreading Nutella liberally on his toast. “It’s a few miles and I realized I hadn’t shown you the trails yet.”

Peter hummed and looked out the window where the watery light from the early morning sun was cascading over the kitchen and leaving long shadows. It was so much quieter here than the city, the only noise coming from the birds and the gentle lapping of the water from the lake onto the shore. It really was a beautiful place and, despite his verbal protests, Peter actually wasn’t that upset about spending a quiet morning walking around the shore of the lake and relaxing – it had been a rough week of Spider-Manning and he was ready for a break.

“Pete?” Tony asked, pulling him from his musings. “We don’t actually have to go if you really don’t want to. You know that right?”

“I know,” Peter reassured him. “I think I do want to.” Tony gave him a bright smile before grabbing his empty plate to put in the dishwasher.

“Go get changed,” the man said. “I’ll meet you by the dock in a few minutes once I get this put away,” he gestured to the few dirty dishes left on the table, completely empty due to Peter’s voracious metabolism.

“Sure,” Peter agreed. “I’ll do my best not to wake up Mo.”

“Oh God,” Tony groaned. “Please do. We’ll never get out of here if she wakes up.”

Peter laughed, leaving the kitchen to climb up the stairs and enter his room. It was supposed to be a warm day so he pulled on a pair of shorts and a worn out tank top along with a pair of beat up sneakers. Tony was already down by the dock when Peter made his way outside, stretching out his calves, two HydroFlasks sitting in the dirt next to him.

“Ready?” Tony asked, tossing him a bottle which Peter caught easily.

“Yep,” he agreed, stretching his own arms over his head to pop his back and release the tension in his shoulders that was a constant from all of his web-slinging. Tony set an easy pace, following the dirt trail around the lake and Peter fell into step next to him, their conversation light and lulling into comfortable silence in some places as they hiked, just taking in the scenery.

The area truly was stunning; an uncovered gem that Tony had been lucky to find. Land like this didn’t sit around unoccupied for long in the upstate area and Peter could see himself – one da, hopefully – retiring somewhere similar. Maybe Tony would let him build a house out here someday, he was certainly developing a taste for peace and quiet.

“May said you’d had a tough week,” Tony finally brought up lightly, confirming Peter’s suspicions for the alone time away from curious and meddling ears. The two were the absolute worst gossips at their bi-weekly co-parenting lunches – Peter was just lucky Happy hadn’t started joining them since he and May had started dating. Peter wouldn’t get away with anything if all three of them were involved.

Peter mulled the question over for a few minutes before shrugging, deciding to try for nonchalant. “It wasn’t great but I’m okay,” he finally conceded, voice carefully light.

“You can talk to me Webs,” Tony said carefully, his tone neutral. “If anyone knows what this business is like its me.”

They continued in silence for a minute more before Peter stopped in the path and leaned against one of the trees overlooking the lake, watching a Great Blue Heron wade in the shallows a few hundred feet from them pursuing its next meal. “I lost somebody,” he ground out. “I was right there and I’d already webbed up the bad guy but I guess one of his arms was free enough to still aim and fire his gun and…” Peter sniffed, eyes dry but stinging.

Tony sighed but didn’t offer any platitudes. “It sucks and it’s not fair,” he agreed, reaching out a hand to squeeze Peter’s shoulder quickly in solidarity. “And its going to happen again; all that matters is how you handle it. How are you handling it?”

“Mostly by punching a brick wall until I break my knuckles,” Peter admitted, carefully not looking at his mentor’s facial expression which he knew would be disapproving – Tony wasn’t really a fan of Peter’s penchant for using pain and violence to work through his emotions. He held up his right hand though, allowing the man to inspect the unmarred skin and healed bones without protest knowing he would be fighting a losing battle.

“I think we should talk about healthy coping mechanisms again,” Tony joked without humor. “Because this isn’t it.”

“I know,” Peter admitted.

“You give any more thought to my offer?” And Peter had. After the ‘Blip’ both Tony and May had tried to talk Peter into seeing one of the therapists the Avengers had on retainer. His identity would remain secure and he could vent and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Work through some of the issues he knew that he was repressing. Figure out how to deal with the PTSD WebMD told him he had. He had refused them a couple times over the months he had been back but now…

“I‘ve thought about it,” he admitted.

“And?” Tony asked, voice patient but with a hopeful undercurrent he couldn’t quite hide.

“I’ll try it,” Peter agreed, grunting in surprise when Tony pulled him into a firm hug that Peter leaned into, returning it with equal force and closing his eyes to rest his forehead on Tony’s flesh shoulder, tension he didn’t know he was carrying releasing from his muscles.

“I’m so proud of you kiddo,” the man whispered into his ear and Peter felt a watery smile pull up his cheekbones.

“Thanks,” he said as he pulled back to meet Tony’s eyes only for his mentor to be looking at Peter’s shoulder instead of his face. Peter knit his brows in confusion. “Tony?”

“Hold still Pete,” he said, gesturing to Peter’s shoulder. “Got a little wolf spider on you. I’ll get it.”

“A WHAT!” Peter screeched, jumping backwards and yanking his tank top off, ripping it to shreds and tossing it before running his hands over his arms, hair standing on end and skin crawling like he was covered in bugs.

“Uh,” Tony said, looking caught between laughter and confusion. “You okay bud?”

“I HATE spiders,” Peter said, shuddering and climbing halfway up the tree behind him to get away from his shirt on the ground and the arachnid that may still be in it. He was taking no chances. “Aren’t you going to kill it?”

“Kill it?” Tony asked faintly before letting out a snort. “Hate to break it to you Pete, but we’re in his territory not the other way around.”

“He lost the chance to live when he climbed on me,” Peter spat out venomously, eyes still locked on the shirt. He wasn’t letting the little bastard escape. “Can you please just kill it?”

“Pretty sure you flung him halfway to the city already,” Tony choked out around his laughter, picking up Peter’s discarded shirt and shaking it out to check it. “Think your shirt is toast.”

“You’re sure its gone?” Peter asked suspiciously, still perched on the trunk of the tree and feeling over his arms to make sure it wasn’t still on him.

“Yes Peter, Christ. Can you get down from there?” Peter narrowed his eyes but dropped back to the ground, scanning the area nervously. His Spidey sense was tingling uncomfortably from the adrenaline that was working its way through his system. Tony looked him over for a second to make sure he was okay before letting out a snort and then bursting into laughter. “Spider-Man afraid of spiders. Oh this is good!”

“Yeah yeah,” Peter grumbled, crossing his arms over his bare chest and feeling his cheeks heat up. “Laugh it up.”

“Aw its okay buddy!” Tony said, draping his arm around Peter’s shoulders and pulling him back down the path toward the cabin. “We all have at least one irrational fear. Say,” he said, voice teasing, “does May kill them all for you at home?”

“Hell no!” Peter said, shaking his head. “She’s worse than me – Ben always had to handle the various vermin that would come in the apartment uninvited.”

“So what do you two do? Go ask a neighbor?” Tony teased, lightly elbowing Peter in the ribs and causing him to scowl. “Scream until someone comes running? Call Happy?”

“We just… leave. You know, let it do it’s thing. Then we come home and are just really uncomfortable for a few days,” he said squirming a little in discomfort at the thought.

Tony let out a bark of bright laughter, pulling Peter into a side hug. “We can work on something to help you with that later in the lab I think.”

“Please,” Peter agreed in pure relief, following along back towards the house and keeping a weary eye on his surroundings… just in case.

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

Whumptober 13: Breathe in Breathe Out

Choking

Did someone say hurt the monkey boy? What? No? Oh, too late :)

Summary: MK is captured by the Spider Queen.

Trigger Warnings: spiders, dehumanization, pet whump, choking and strangulation, panic attacks, physical and psychological torture, near death experiences, mild self harm

3596 words

MK curled in on himself, trying to block out the cold.

Fuck, it was so cold.

And… damp?

What was going on? He didn’t remember what had happened, or how he’d gotten here. He’d only woken up just now, tied up in the dark. His eyes had yet to adjust.

He shivered, jerking at the ropes that bound his hands behind his back. They didn’t budge.

It was definitely very bad that he couldn’t remember what had happened. He was pretty sure he remembered saving Pigsy and Tang from — ick — spiders (or like, a spider demon lady or whatever). Same difference. He shuddered. He absolutely hated spiders.

But on the bright side, they’d all gotten out of there, no problem!

Er… actually, considering that was the last thing he could remember, he wasn’t so sure if that was true. Where was he?

“Hello?” he called, cringing when his voice echoed loudly through the… wherever he was. Well, if anyone was here, they could definitely hear him.

Hopefully it was just Red Son or something. That guy was a loser, he’d be easy to defeat. Plus, MK had no doubt that his team was working on getting him out of here right this very moment. 

Oh fuck, he hoped Pigsy wasn’t pissed at him for missing work again.

In his defense, this wasn’t his fault! Pigsy would probably understand. And if he didn’t, well, he had everyone else to vouch for him. Probably.

“Is anyone here?” he asked, the only response being his own voice echoing back at him.

Ugh, apparently he was alone down here — wait. He could hear something. Footsteps? No, it sounded different than that. Kind of like…

“Hush up now, little monkey.”

He looked around wildly, frustrated that he still couldn’t see anything. The sight of truth that the staff gave him would really come in handy right about now. Come to think of it, where was his staff? 

The voice, which was previously kind of far away probably, was suddenly very, very close. “Can’t have you screaming, now can we?”

Oh fuck, he was just now remembering where he recognized this voice from. Oh no, was he back in the nightmare hole? Oh no, were there still all the creepy crawly spiders everywhere? Nope nope nope, he was absolutely not thinking about that right now. Ew… The absolute last thing he wanted in life was to be in a place that was absolutely crawling with… those.

“Untie me!” he said, struggling fiercely. Wait, if this was the Spider Queen and her nightmare hole, then… 

Nope nope nope nope, he was suddenly very thankful that he couldn’t see much of anything. If he couldn’t see, then he couldn’t confirm whether or not he was actually tied with — ick — spiderwebs. He wanted to cry just thinking about it.

Why couldn’t she just use some good old fashioned rope? There was nothing wrong with rope! He would even be fine with chains, even if they pinched his skin! Just… anything but spiderwebs.

The Spider Queen laughed, the sound reverberating through the cave. MK really could do without this stupid echo. “Untie you? Oh, honey, where would be the fun in that?”

Well, that wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. He wasn’t surprised, but still, it would have been nice if maybe for once—

“See, I was planning on eating you,” she said.

Eating him? Oh shit, oh shit, he’d forgotten about that in the midst of his earlier battle. Oh god, he didn’t want to be eaten! He was too young to die!

“You don’t need to eat me!” MK said hastily. “I mean, I bet I’d taste terrible! I would be totally disgusting! You don’t need a teenage boy who eats nothing but noodles! If you’re gonna eat somebody, at least eat someone who’s healthy!”

“I said was,” the Spider Queen said, cutting off his rambling. “But I’ve changed my mind.”

“You… have?” Oh, thank god. Being eaten sounded like one of the worst possible ways to go. He’d rather die. …Okay, that wasn’t a good comparison. Still, the point remained. He had officially found one thing worse than spiders. Being fucking eaten.

But spiders were still a very close second.

“Course I have,” she said. MK’s eyes were finally adjusting to the darkness, and he could now just make out her wicked smile. “I have a feeling you’re going to be so much more useful than just a light snack.”

MK shuddered at the idea. Thank god she’d changed her mind. Wait… why had she changed her mind? And worse, what exactly was she planning to use him for? He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

“I think the obvious solution here is to just let me go,” MK said, laughing nervously. “I mean, why keep me around if you’re not gonna eat me, right? And as we’ve already established, you’re definitely not doing that. Please don’t change your mind again.” He really needed to stop talking before he changed her mind for her.

She laughed again, but said nothing. MK, as best he could, squirmed uncomfortably in the following silence. He hated not being able to move his hands.

The Spider Queen hummed, observing MK carefully. She took his face in her cold hands, turning it side to side.

MK jerked his head free of her grip, glaring at her. “Unhand me!” he said, hoping he sounded confident and not, you know, completely terrified.

“I think we need a rundown on how this is going to work,” the Spider Queen said, standing up to her full height again. MK gulped, looking up at her in terror. Don’t focus on the spider thing don’t focus on the spider thing don’t focus on the spider thing.

He was fine. This was fine. It was all totally and completely fine. Everything was good!

“It would just be so much easier for the both of us if you would cooperate,” she continued, “You think you can be obedient, little monkey?”

MK wrinkled his nose at the wording she’d chosen. Obedient? Hell no! “I told you before,” he said, “I am a monkey man!” with that, he attempted to break free of his bindings heroically so he could then pummel her.

Which, theoretically, would have been great. If it had worked. Instead, he was stuck struggling in the ropes, wriggling around on the ground like a worm.

Well. This was going great.

“You are adorable,” the Spider Queen said, amused. “Yes, I think I can make this work quite nicely.”

MK was too busy looking and feeling like a fool to really pay attention to that. He could worry about it later, it was fine. For now, he needed to break out of this.

She looked down at him, and MK only struggled harder, if only to shake away the discomfort of being watched like that.

“You really are a little monkey,” she chuckled after a moment.

“Stop calling me that,” MK grumbled. He could feel it, he was almost free! Maybe, if he just kept stalling, he could take her by surprise.

She reached down, hoisting him back up so he was sitting upright again.

“Hey!” he cried, more offended than anything. “What are you doing?”

“Just trying to get a good look at my new pet.”

Oh, okay — come again now? What had she just called him? Oh god, and the way she’d said it — he wanted to vomit. He was pretty sure he could actually feel a bit of bile rising in his throat.

MK laughed uncomfortably. “Your new what now?” he squeaked. Dammit, that was supposed to come out sounding… well, definitely not sounding like he was a scared little baby. Which, he definitely wasn’t.

“Powerful little monkeys like yourself don’t need to be out leveling cities,” Spider Queen said, casual. MK waited for her to continue explaining, but she didn’t. Okay, that didn’t clear up his concern at all. In fact, it probably only elevated it.

“Okay, first off, I know the whole “Monkie Kid” title thing can be confusing, but I’m definitely a human. Like, completely a human. Not an actual monkey.” Plus, he hadn’t been out leveling cities, he’d been out stopping people like DBK from leveling cities.

All he got in response was a smug, “We’ll see about that.”

With that, she undid his headband, his hair awkwardly flopping into his face in its absence.

“Hey! Do you know how long it takes to get my hair to look good—?” he was forced to cut off as the headband was retied, rather tightly, around his neck. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice becoming slightly raspy as his airway was getting cut off. “What are you — no — st-stop!” He gasped, and though his hands were tied behind him, he still tried to lift them so he could clutch at his neck desperately. He made no progress, and the band only tightened. He couldn’t take in enough breath to do more than make the tiniest of sounds.

The Spider Queen didn’t relent, pulling it so tight and cutting off MK’s air so quick that suddenly his vision was swimming with black specks and his head was going fuzzy like TV static.

He struggled to the best of his ability, using the last of his energy to get her to stop. Still, it wasn’t enough, and his eyes slipped shut. The world was darkness, a galaxy of nonexistent stars.

Finally, mercifully, just as he was sure he was going to die, it came to a halt.

He fell forward, unable to catch himself with his hands tied as they were, but grateful for the ability to breathe all the same.

He took in gulp after gulp of air, his entire body trembling uncontrollably. For a minute there he’d been so sure that it would be his last. 

And then the Spider Queen said something that MK couldn’t even attempt to comprehend, and suddenly the feeling was back.

His neck was being absolutely crushed — but she wasn’t touching him anymore. How… why… stop…

Just like the first time, it went away right as all hope seemed lost. This time, the feeling didn’t come back, and MK was able to frantically take in as much air as his lungs allowed.

“What…” MK panted when he could finally breathe again, “What did you do?”

“Well, every pet needs a collar,” was all she responded with.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, “I already said, I’m… I’m…” oh man, he was way too lightheaded to be arguing right now. For a moment, he could only focus on taking breath after breath.

“Now,” she said, plucking at his hair and standing upright again. “I’ll take that, and…” she dropped it into a cauldron which definitely hadn’t been there before. Had it been? He couldn’t remember. Was he losing his mind? “You, my adorable little monkey, are going to help me reclaim my empire.”

And then, as if the lack of oxygen in his brain wasn’t bad enough, he was suddenly just… really… so fucking exhausted. The kind of exhausted that he could barely even find it in himself to move. The kind of exhausted that seeped into his bones and wouldn’t let go.

He slumped over on the floor, unable to hold himself up any longer.

He couldn’t just fall asleep… not here, not now. He didn’t even know how she was doing it, or what she was going to do to him if he did lose consciousness. He forced his eyes wide open, but they were fluttering shut anyway, against his will.

“Well, isn’t that just perfect?” the Spider Queen asked, likely rhetorically. If MK had the energy to think of a good response, he would definitely be doing that right now. He’d be all… uh… god, he was so tired. He could probably sleep for like, a thousand years.

He zoned out on whatever monologue she was giving. He couldn’t fight this exhaustion any longer. He just wanted to sleep…

He yawned faintly, drifting off and allowing himself to give in to the cold clutches of sleep. He couldn’t resist it, anyway.

The world faded away around him.

———

MK woke up what he presumed was a short time later, still completely out of it, but at least with enough energy to think. 

He was alone. Thank goodness.

Alright, he had to get out of here. First he had to somehow get untied, and then he had to find his staff, and then he had to find a way out of here. That seemed simple enough. That was totally simple enough! He could handle this.

Carefully, he sat up, doing his best not to make any noise.

He had to get this perfect. Just the memories from earlier had him feeling nauseous, and he had a feeling that if he didn’t get out of here before the Spider Queen came back, there would be more where that had come from. He wasn’t exactly eager to experience that.

Hmm, maybe if he could find something sharp to cut the ropes — yes, he knew they were webs, but the very horror of that idea was too much to comprehend. It was easier to just think of them as regular old ropes. He really didn’t need to be sending himself into a panic attack right now.

He looked around for… he didn’t know, a pointy rock or something? Anything remotely sharp would do. Probably.

It took a minute, but he finally managed to get to his feet. He stumbled, biting back a shriek as he immediately tripped forward. With his hands tied behind his back, he couldn’t make an effort to catch himself.

His face collided with the floor. Hard.

The sound echoed throughout the cave. Oh shit, now not only was he in immense pain, but he definitely had a limited time frame to get away. 

He scrambled to his feet again, leaning against the wall to steady himself before he took off in a staggering run. Forget the getting untied part, first he just had to get away.

He was actually making progress! He had been right, it was all completely working out. He’d be back home and cozy in bed before he could say noodles.

Don’t look back, don’t look back, just keep running.

Oh man, he could actually see light! Light meant freedom! He moved towards it, panting with effort and exhaustion. Almost there. He was almost there. He could take a nice long nap as soon as he got out.

He was so close.

And then he was choking again.

He fell to his knees, gasping for breath as the band — he absolutely was not calling it a collar, because it was just his headband — tightened around his neck. 

Stop stop stop stop! 

His lungs were already burning, and his neck was going to bruise, he was sure of it. 

It hurt so bad, he just wanted it to stop, oh god.

“There you are,” the Spider Queen said, her voice barely registering in MK’s fuzzy brain. He just wanted it to stop. Nothing else mattered.

He was vaguely aware of his body being plucked off the ground.

“Can’t have you running off like that, little monkey. Lucky you, I have a delightful punishment picked out.”

MK, for all his fighting, could do nothing to stop her.

The band stopped squeezing the life out of him, thank goodness, but he had a sick feeling that whatever was going to come next would be just as bad (or worse).

He was all but thrown into a dark, disgusting cell. Full of… full of… nope nope nope too many spiderwebs, way too many spiderwebs.

“You’re going to stay in this dark, nice little cell — full of spiders, by the way — until you learn how to respect your queen. I’ll be back in the morning, little monkey. Let’s hope you’ve learned your lesson by then.”

With that, the cell door shut and locked, and MK was left alone. On the bright side, he finally managed to free his hands from their bindings. On the downside, he was alone. In a scary nightmare cell full of horrors.

Full of spiders.

His entire body jerked in a shiver. 

He could hear scuttling — no doubt one of the horrifying little beasts themselves. Oh god, how many were there? He could barely see, he certainly couldn’t make out any insects.

What if they were everywhere? Was every inch of the place crawling with them? There were so many webs, too many webs, too many spiders, oh god.

He was struggling to breathe once again, practically hyperventilating as tears filled his eyes. The crushing panic of the situation was slamming into him.

He wanted to go home. He would take anything over this. He would take being thrown across a goddamn volcano over this.

Something scurried across his leg.

A quiet sob left his throat. He was sitting there, completely frozen, unable to do so much as flick the spider away. God, he was so pathetic.

He could swear more spiders were crawling on him, now. His skin was burning. They were everywhere. He couldn’t breathe. 

His fingers twitched, but he couldn’t make himself move.

Tears were streaming from his eyes and his skin was so itchy and he couldn’t handle this, he really couldn’t handle this.

His face was growing numb from how hard he was crying. 

He didn’t even realize that he was finally moving, barely registering the pain from how hard he was scratching at his skin. Even when he realized how bad it did hurt, he couldn’t stop, scratching his arms, his hands, his legs, everything he could. 

It was starting to burn.

The scratching got more frantic. He couldn’t stop until the spiders were gone. With the lack of light in the cell, he had no way of knowing when that would be, so he just continued to scratch and continued to cry.

The panic turned the world into a haze. He stared blankly ahead, unseeing, doing nothing but scratching at his skin. Tears continued to pour from his eyes.

He was so pathetic. He was so pathetic. He was so pathetic. 

He couldn’t even handle some stupid little baby spiders. He was supposed to be the brave protector of the city, the successor to the great Monkey King, and he couldn’t even handle spiders. 

He sniffled. If Monkey King had known how pathetic he was, he’d never have chosen him.

And now look at him. Stuck in an eternal nightmare hole — which really did seem to be eternal, as wherever he was being kept wasn’t somewhere he’d seen while they’d been rescuing Tang and Pigsy — having lost the staff.

Oh god. He’d lost the staff. He really was worthless.

He couldn’t believe he’d been so careless, so stupid. The scratching increased, and he hissed at the feeling. He wasn’t cut out to be Monkie Kid. Monkey King had made a mistake, choosing him. It had all just been one big mistake.

He sobbed. Maybe he deserved to rot down here with the spiders. At least here he couldn’t fuck anything up for anyone.

His sobs turned to high pitched cries. He couldn’t handle this.

He cried for a long time, until there were no tears left to cry. Still, the panic didn’t go away. They were all over the cell, even if he couldn’t see them. His skin was still burning from how hard he’d been scratching.

His earlier exhaustion was hitting him again, full force. But he couldn’t sleep, not now. Not when he was surrounded by them.

He sniffled, pressing his arms close to his body and covering his face. As long as they didn’t get on his face or under his clothes or on his skin or anywhere near him it would all be okay. It would all be fine. 

But it wasn’t fine. He was so far from fine.

He wondered briefly if Mei would laugh at him for panicking so badly. They were just spiders. Most of them couldn’t even hurt him. Unless they were big, or poisonous, or… 

He hugged his knees to his chest. Mei would think he was being so stupid.

Blearily, he opened his eyes, surveying the cell nervously. He couldn’t see any spiders. That didn’t mean there weren’t any there. It only made it all the more nerve-wracking. 

His eyes landed on the faint shadow of a spider. It was huge. Absolutely massive, actually. He scrambled back towards the edge of his cell.

No no no no no no!

Breathe, just take deep breaths, it wasn’t going to come any closer, it probably didn’t have any interest in him, just stop please get away he wanted to go home.

It didn’t move for a moment. Maybe it would leave. Maybe it would leave! That sounded pretty likely, right? It could totally leave!

Instead, out of nowhere, it scurried way too close for comfort.

MK shoved himself back against the wall of his cell, clawing at the door behind him.

“Let me out!” he shrieked, his voice strained. He received no response other than the spider getting ever closer. He had nowhere left to run. It was too close.

Whatever he’d thought he would go through as the Monkie Kid, all the horrible torture and the kidnappings and the near death experiences he’d dreamed up…

This was worse. This was so much worse.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #453

“you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”

What health problems run in your family? Diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol, depression, cancer, a LOT more that I'm forgetting. Where did you last have sex? I have zero memory of the last time that was, so I wouldn't know. But probably a bed? How long have you known your best friend? Since we were around 8 and 11. What’s something people criticize you the most for? That I rely on the computer too much. Are spiders scary? I mean some are, but they're also extremely fascinating animals that I really enjoy observing. Cheetos. Poofy or regular? Regular, for sure. The poofy ones get stuck in your teeth SO badly. What's your favorite music genre? Heavy metal. Be honest. What are you most afraid of? Doing nothing with my life. What's your favourite type of survey to take? The ones with really random questions that you don't see in every single one. However, I don't like "random" to where the questions are just inapplicable to almost everyone. I also enjoy questions that allow me to vent about stuff I have going on. If I'm in the right mood, deep questions are great, too. What was the last topic you read about? In detail? I don't know. What shirt do you wear the most? Besides tank tops, my Cloak "equal in our bones" Day of the Dead shirt. What's your go-to order from KFC? I don't eat at KFC. Did you have hand-me-down clothes when you were growing up? Yes. What was the last song you listened to? Well, NOW I'm obsessed with Violet Orlandi's cover of "Hotel California." I keep finding new songs that I just loop for days, man, lol. I'm still not over her "The Unforgiven" cover. Did you have long hair as a young kid? I did. How many songs do you know by the band you are listening to? I'm still listening to Violet's "Hotel California" cover, which is originally by The Eagles. I obviously know this song, as well as "Heartache Tonight." Probably more, just those are the two I know and like. What podcasts do you listen to, if any? I don't listen to any. What was your most recent binge watch? Gab Smolders' playthrough of Final Fantasy X. What’s the oldest thing currently in your house? Hell, possibly my bed frame. I don't know. If you use Snapchat, do you post to your story or send individual snaps more often? I don't have one. When was the last time you rolled your eyes? At what? Not too long ago. Mom said something that really annoyed me. Do you like mozzarella sticks? No. If you had to name one of your children after a friend, solely based on their name alone, who would you choose? Probably Alon. Everything about her is beautiful, ha ha. Have you ever watched anime porn? I can confidently say I have not... Are ladybugs cute? Yes! Would you wear something made from snake skin? Fuck no. I won't wear anything that comes from an animal. Will you leave the house without fragrance on? Yeah, idc. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done for a significant other? In art class, I made an anatomically correct heart out of clay and put it in a shadow box along with a poem as the background. I honestly really hope Jason still has it, because I worked my ass off on it. What do you think of naming your son after the father (ex. Roy Jr.): It's not my business what other parents name their kids, but for me personally, I really don't like it. Like... give your child their own identity. It also feels kinda arrogant to me? Like are you so important that you have to force your name onto your kid? Do you like Death Cab For Cutie? I only know "I Will Follow You Into the Dark," which I adore. Do walking near or past cops make you feel uncomfortable? Yes. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong somehow. Do you think stretching (or gauging) your ears is disgusting? When they get to a certain size, to me it is. Small ones are no biggie. What piercing or body modification do you think is really gross? Oh my god, those corset piercings people get on their backs. Just... no. What would you do if your bf/gf told you they were going into the army? I'd be fucking devastated, in a hypothetical relationship where we're serious. What is the nearest gas station called? Uhhhh... I forgot lol. The second-closest though, which is almost like, RIGHT beside the other one, is Sheetz. Do you think bearded dragons are cute? omg YES!!!!!!!! What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? I have no idea. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps? Too many, honestly. I'm just like... always tired. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Hm. My favorite I've ever had was "Bee," which Megan called me, but I don't like others calling me that. Ever meet someone whose house has burned down spontaneously? Yes, in middle school. Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I kinda am. I reached out to him. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Guys: shoulder blades. Girls: hips. Any friends that you’d go on a date with? Yeah. I think I want to try that with Girt and see how it goes and decide what the fuck I want. Is it cute when someone calls you babe? It's funny, I used to hate that, but now I imagine I wouldn't mind? Do you like Muse? Yeah! "Unnatural Selection" and "Psycho" are especially BANGERS. What’s your favorite flavor of jello? Strawberry. What song is stuck in your head right now? I'm bingeing the absolute fuck outta the song I mentioned earlier, ha ha. Do you have a niece or nephew? I have a lot, but only three I see regularly. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? idk What did you receive for Valentine’s Day? I think Mom got me a chocolate bar? When was the last time you went to a cemetery, and why were you there? I want to say this was many years ago when I went with Colleen to her church. Her stillborn brother was buried there. Have you ever owned a plant? What was it? I grew habaneros once, along with some sort of succulents from Colleen. What was the most interesting animal you have seen in the wild? I saw a mink jump into the river once when I was out fishing with Dad at our favorite spot. Were you born in the state you live in? Yep. Always lived here. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? Dog shit. Do you like to sleep? Yes and no. I like falling asleep if it's quick, because I'm all comfy, but I also dread sleep because of my nightmares. Even with my mask, they're starting to become regular again. After last night's, I am legitimately beginning to fear something is psychologically wrong with me. Like, I cried to my mom. Do you like the smell of gasoline? Ugh, no. It gives me a headache. Have you lost contact with anyone you wish you haven’t? Many people. Did you give anyone his/her first kiss? No. Should you ever have gone to the hospital but didn’t? Vice versa? No. Who do you miss the most? Jason. What do you miss the most? Being happy. What is your birthstone? Do you have any jewelry with it? Amethyst. I have a really cute guardian angel pin with one given to me by my grandmother. What is the last dream you remember having? Last night was... awful. I remember Mom and I getting in a MASSIVE fight, and also literally yelling at my late beloved dog something about crushing his head in if he didn't stop barking. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm really scared something is really wrong with me. Have you had a church confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah, or something similar? Growing up Roman Catholic, I had a Confirmation ceremony. What was the last baby animal you saw? I wanna say a puppy on Facebook. A friend just got one.

[whumpqin]

Enough

What’s this? Another chapter? Oh man! (Actually I had written this chapter before the other one, but I needed something in between them for, uh, reasons.)

Link to Masterlist

Taglist:  @faewhump​ @galaxywhump​ @castielamigos-whump-side-blog​ @insanitywishes​  @burtlederp​ @whumpasaurus101​

CW: Non-fatal suicide attempt, Whumpee wanting to die to escape abuse, self harm, fucky thoughts about pain, blood, biting, self-vampirism/drinking one’s own blood, dehydration, starvation, spiders, referenced torture, referenced eye whump, pet whump, explicit vomiting / nausea, monster whumpee, creepy/intimate whumpers, 

Word Count: 2,149

There’s a spider in the basement today. It’s crawling in the corner, weaving a small web to catch some of the small flying gnats that were down here.

Like a magnet on similar sides, Elisha found himself curled into the opposite corner, repelled by the sight of it. Him and spiders… don’t get along, usually. Especially when they were in the same space. Before he would simply avoid their space and they would avoid his. Now, there was no getting out of watching it move about the room, and he could only pray that it wouldn’t come over to his side. He could never bring himself to kill it.

Most of all, he wasn’t sure he could kill it. All of his limbs were so weak from not being able to move around, and even shifting his toes back and forth took almost all of his energy. Even after his legs had mostly healed, and he could draw them up to his knees if he were able to with minimal aches, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t go anywhere.

And God, he ached.

Not a point on his skin was unmarked. Elisha had been beaten, whipped, cut, burned, rubbed raw, and broken in every sense of the word. His bones wept underneath his skin, streaks of  agony that fluttered through his body whenever he thought about moving. His lips cracked and split from the lack of water - despite being given a few gracious drops here and there - and his mouth felt dry. His insides felt like they were hollow, as if nothing was left of him but this shell that his Masters could torture to their greatest desire.

Then there was that spider and all eight of its legs moving on its web and he couldn’t do anything about it.

He couldn’t do anything about anything. Elisha was stuck in this moment of time, a hollow outline of himself, waiting for his Masters to finally tire of him. Maybe they’d be merciful enough to end his suffering, bury him out in the fields where he’d nourish the plants with his marrow. 

He had always wanted to be a tree. Or a bush. Or wheat. Or literally anything that wasn’t what he was now.

Elisha couldn’t stand himself.

His bones ached, his arms and legs he could barely move even if he really wanted to, his missing eye still moved around in its socket, like a ghost of what was there, his mouth was so dry eating sand might have been nourishing, he was so hungry ripping into the stone with his fangs wouldn’t even settle the constant rumble of his belly, and then there was that fucking spider-

Horns scraped against the stone again, bringing about a familiar and faint ache from them. The feeling was satisfying, something he could control, a pain that he could create himself. His Masters had tried to threaten him to stop but even their prying eyes didn’t stay on him forever.

The thought made him smile, a wide grin outstretched to either side of his face that didn’t reach his eyes, where they teared up and ran down. Elisha tasted more blood from his empty eye. Jeremiah would be angry that he sullied his bandage again like that.

It wasn’t enough. It didn’t hurt enough.

He swallowed, drinking in what little tears ran into his mouth. Tasting the copper tang of his own blood mixed with salt. It was incredible.

Elisha was losing his mind. He was well aware of that. But it wasn’t like his Masters were going to help him with that, were they? Aridai might call him cute or quirky again, and Jeremiah might just tell him to stop being weird.

Haha, he should have bitten that woman who called him weird. Maybe then he would have been a normal Cambion.

He still could bite, he supposed.

Elisha’s left eye angled downwards, where his hands splayed open in his lap. The faded tally marks against his pale green skin were evident along his arm, reminding him of all of his rules. Those damned rules, forcing him to be perfect or else suffer horrible consequences.

It’s not hard to hate them.

He bared his fangs at his arm, forcing all of his energy into the limb so that he could raise it to his head. It lifted slowly, presenting the tally marks to himself as he sank his teeth in as hard as he could. Pain blossomed, swirling with his other aches and pains as he gasped from the feeling. Blood welled around the wound and dripped onto his tongue, flooding his senses with its taste.

It was with a sudden surge that Elisha realized he wanted more. More of himself, of his blood, even with the panicked nagging in his brain begging him to stop. His teeth ripped at the skin of the tally mark, sending a jolt of agonizing pain that made his mind go numb to everything else for a moment. Elisha swiped his tongue over the larger mark, relishing in the ability to drink something after what felt like days of nothing. Sparks of scattered pain littered his arm, screaming in agony at his betrayal, but there was something sickeningly desirable at doing this to himself.

Aridai didn’t even need to tell him to do this. Would they be proud of his lack of hesitation, at his resolve?

He soon found it too unbearable to move the arm and let it collapse against his lap. Elisha licked his lips, tasting the dirt and blood and his tears mixing together in an unholy concoction. All of it his own.

He forced his other arm to lift up, bringing his wrist close to his face. Elisha was so tired. He just wanted to see the sun again. A part of him had a feeling he never would.

It was slower this time, as he sank his teeth into his wrist, trying not to blindside himself with pain. Blood welled into his mouth again and Elisha drank, relaxing against the wall as he ripped and tore into himself. He ignored the sickened feeling from his stomach and the woozy, hazy feeling from his head, until his body wouldn’t allow him to. Elisha coughed, spitting up his own blood as he felt his stomach churn, feeling himself go limp at his vision blurred.

Distantly he heard the hatch to the basement open.

Elisha squinted, righting his vision just as boots stepped down, and he caught sight of lighter hair that he knew was blonde as Jeremiah blindly searched for the light switch. He hoped he had arrived too late to do anything.

When the light flicked on, Jeremiah’s neutral expression turned into immediate horror - a widening of the eyes and gaping mouth that Elisha had never seen from him, ever - as he stared at Elisha’s bleeding form. Blood still welled from his wrist, pooling into the dirty ground around him. Elisha looked up to his Sir in misery and elation, completely pleased in how he made himself suffer.

“What the fuck?!” Jeremiah all but shrieked. He dove for Elisha and picked up the arm where he’d bitten off the tally, holding his hand tightly over the wound to get it to stop bleeding. “What the fuck did you- holy shit. ARIDAI!”

Jeremiah had seen his wrist. He shifted forward, tightly wrapping his hand around the bite mark and putting heavy pressure on it. Elisha’s lip curled at the attempt, pulling away from his Sir. Just let him bleed, let it happen. Why was he trying so hard for a stupid pet who couldn’t get anything right?

“Stop, Caleb stop- stay the fuck still,” Jeremiah breathed, but there was no lasting anger behind it.

Quick footsteps and a flash of red noted the presence of Aridai. They stood back several feet or so, staring at the scene unfolding before them with genuine surprise, sleeves folded up and water dripping from their hands like they had just been washing something. Jeremiah craned his head backwards to look at them.

“Fucking help me, Aridai!” he yelled, pulling them out of their stupor.

“What the hell happened?!” Aridai stooped down next to Jeremiah, taking one hand while he took the other. Elisha’s eyebrows furrowed as they ripped off a piece of their own shirt to tightly tie it against his wrist.

“I don’t- I don’t know, I just- I just came down here and-and he was like this,” Jeremiah quickly explained, falling over his words while he inspected Elisha from head to toe, trying to make sure that the bites against his arms were the only things wrong with him.

“Shit. What the hell were you thinking, Caleb?” Aridai demanded, grabbing him by the chin and forcing his head up to look at them.

The motion finally made the dizziness in his head and the churning in his stomach mix together, and Elisha’s chest heaved, unable to stand his own blood coating his throat and stomach. He vomited up a mixture of bile and blood, coating his chest and Aridai’s arm as they pulled back in shock.

“Ugh, the fuck?!” they cursed, flicking their hand and holding it up in disgust. “What the hell did you do, decide to become a fucking vampire?!”

“Aridai, I don’t- I don’t know what to do, we can’t just take him to a hospital, can we?”

“No fucking hospitals, Jer. We handle this ourselves.” Aridai tied the shirt piece tighter against Elisha’s wrist, then wiped their hand on their pants to get rid of the extra blood and other fluids. “Hold his mouth open for me.”

Jeremiah did the same, instead using his belt to tie a makeshift tourniquet to stop too much blood flow. Elisha writhed under his Masters’ touch as they forced his mouth open. Jeremiah curled his fingers enough so that he couldn’t snap his jaws shut and bite, while Aridai practically stuck their fingers down his throat. Elisha gagged, the nausea in his stomach rolling uncomfortably.

“Come on… get that shit outta your system, diamond,” Aridai pressed, curling their index and middle finger to make him gag again. Elisha’s stomach heaved again, as he spat up more blood and bile from his throat. He let out a miserable cry, weak limbs clawing hopelessly at his Masters to get them to stop. “No, stop that. Take your punishment like a good boy and throw that blood back up. Shit’s bad for you.”

Once more he gagged, but this time only bile rose from his stomach. Aridai and Jeremiah let him go, satisfied, and turned their attention towards his wounds.

“We can’t leave him in the basement. Stupid thing would probably die of infection,” Aridai said. “Can’t leave him in the kitchen, he’ll just run. Same thing with the living room.”

“I’m not leaving him in the bathroom.” Jeremiah sighed, glancing up to the basement door. “Guess it’s the bedroom, then. We’ll be able to keep an eye on him through the night. I’ll have to put up some foundations so he doesn’t get loose.”

“Alright. You work on that while I dress these. Help me get him upstairs. He’s- goddammit he’s still fucking bleeding,” they hissed, putting pressure on his wrist again. Aridai’s head fell in annoyance and stress as they wrapped their hands tightly around his wound. “Caleb, honey, you’ve gotta stop. That’s enough of this little tantrum of yours.”

Elisha whined, tears flowing freely from his eyes. Everything hurt, and where the hollow once was it had been replaced not by satisfaction, but by discomfort and pain and sickness. His head fell forward in despair, butting into Jeremiah’s before his Sir pulled away in a hiss of pain, cursing as he grabbed Caleb’s horn and pressed his head back up against the wall.

“We need to get him some ice. Ari, what if he, he doesn’t stop bleeding? What are we going to do?” Jeremiah’s voice was just on this side of calm, an odd tense note in his voice. Panic.

“He’s just a pet, Jer. If he dies, he dies, and we’ll get a new one.” Aridai fished for the key in their pocket and tossed it to their partner. Then, their cruel eyes turned towards Caleb. “But we’re not going to let that happen, if we can. There’s still so much fun we can have, isn’t there Caleb?”

He closed his eyelid, breathing hard through his nose. They didn’t repeat themselves, or demand that he give and answer. Instead, Elisha caught their faint, hushed whispers about moving him back upstairs. Talk of blindfolds, muzzles, anything to keep him from seeing upstairs again. Not because they didn’t want him to see it, but because he didn’t deserve it. 

Elisha figured that was right, for the most part. They hadn’t given him permission to look upstairs, yet.

They wouldn’t even give him permission to die.

[noknockingonmydoor]

“Cats? Ugh. No, thank you.” (headcanon)

Thinking about how Rohan never really considered having a common household pet other than the more exotic ones like spiders, or snakes, or rats, or lizards, because "dogs take too much effort, and he doesn't have time." One might say--it doesn't have to be a dog. It could be a cat! You seem much more like a cat person! At which Rohan gives them a really offended look, like he can't believe someone would suggest something so heinous. He gets into a long ramble about how much he hates cats. They knock things over, they get all hissy for no reason, they leave hair everywhere and randomly cough up disgusting furballs, they’re really annoying when they meow, they’re way too high-maintenance and act like they’re better than everyone else. (How ironic.)

It’s not until he somehow finds himself spending a lot of time with a cat (a stray cat that won’t leave him alone, someone he hangs out with has a cat, he’s forced to look after a cat, etc) that he falls in love with them. At first there’s a lot of ugh, go away, sheesh, you gross little creature, stop staring at me with those creepy, empty eyes, but the cat keeps on climbing in his lap and rubbing his cheeks against him, playing with his necklace/earring/hair no matter how many times he puts it away, yells at it, and contemplates punting it out the window. Eventually, he stops fighting its advances and just sighs and lets it curl up in his lap and fall asleep. He starts thinking that maybe this little demon creature from hell isn’t all that bad. It has its cute moments. He pets it from time to time, and it starts purring, and looks up at him and slowly closes its eyes and taps its little paws on his lap. His heart warms up a little.

He starts talking to it in a mocking, but affectionate tone, like, look at you, you stinky little bastard. and pinches its cheeks, or riles it up on purpose, and when it scratches him and he yells at it, and they ignore each other, until it approaches him again, and they share a tender, gentle moment. With time, he learns how to handle cats and does a lot of research on how to read their body language and clues, realises they actually share a lot of similarities, and he starts to realise that they’re not loveless, entitled, self-serving little assholes whose only goal is to wreck havoc--the way they show love, devotion, and attachment is not obvious, but it’s genuine. Before he knows it, he carries the cat around in his arms and cooes at it like it’s his baby (”who’s the ugly, disgusting little furball who stole the heart of rohan kishibe? hmmm?”) and rubs his face against it and smooches it. The cat climbs up on his shoulders whenever it needs attention, while he’s cooking, or meditating, or drawing, and he gets really annoyed, but then it gives him that look and he just. Settles it into his lap and pets it until it falls asleep. Looks at it and smiles and shakes his head. He can scarcely believe it, but he loves his furry little friend so much.

(i shared the pic below the cut before BUT IT’S SO GOOD so I’ll do it AGAIN.)

like... look at the collar... he absolutely fucking adores this cat...

[lovelyparkers]

i don’t need you (1)

part one enemies to lovers peter parker x superhero!reader (telekinesis + super strength) summary: you are on vacation, fighting elementals, alongside spider-man. you're supposed to be the dynamic duo in everyone's eyes, but that's not the case. at least, until a certain pair of words are revealed.

warnings: swearing (a LOT sorry), angst and tension, ffh spoilers. there will be a part 2!

"hell no."

"come on y/n, he seems like a great guy. can you just pull it together and work with me for once. we could stop this together, with mysterio."

"something just seems so off about him," you walked closer to peter, face to face, "i don't trust him. at all. i know my instincts."

peter shook his head, "you don't trust anybody. not even me. but i'm just telling you this one time, just trust me and trust him. nick wouldn't have recruited mysterio if he didn't trust him, so you should too."

"no. i can't," you though for a moment, looking away from the boy in front of you and gripping onto your red and yellow mask in hand, "we don't need him, what if you and i just team up to take down the elementals? or i could just do it myself, since you're going to trust someone you met minutes ago."

"NO! he knows more about them than any of us. we need him to help us or we could get killed," peter shouted.

"you know what, fine. i don't need you. i never have and never will. i'll fucking do this myself."

you turned and rushed off, ready to stop these goddamn elementals by yourself. without peter. god, you two always fought, you were practically enemies. it was always a competition, who can take down the bad guy first. calling off the other, getting into more trouble. yet you still always ended up side by side during the fight of your lives. like the war against thanos. that was complete hell but that's a story for another time.

you ran your hand through your hair, so frustrated. peter is gonna get himself killed working with this mysterio guy. you knew something was up with this guy, you just couldn't explain it. he radiates some bad, bad energy. energy you weren't playing with. you wished peter would just listen to you, for once. something real bad was gonna happen. this mysterio guy already knows yours and peter's identities, how farther could it go? much.

———————

back at the hotel, who were tapping away at your laptop trying to find more information on this mysterio guy. it's not like you were researching for peter's sake but to, you know, see what your up against. and the information wasn't vast. if anything but that.

"y/nnnnn talk to me i'm boreddddd," michelle cried.

"what michelle?"

"i miss my girlfriend and my phone service is terrible i can barely reach Queens."

"that sucks. have you tried a hotel phone?" you loved michelle but didn't feel like talking right now, more concerned about the upcoming attack on prague that you would escape to. to defeat fucking fire.

"no gross!"

"well then."

then there was a knock on your door which caused the very bored michelle to jump up immediately. whereas you didn't let your eyes leave the screen, that is until you heard a certain someone's voice.

"oh, ugh hi peter," michelle said.

"hey uhm," peter started, gazing into your room looking at you sitting at the desk, "mr. harrington is arranging a little meeting in the lobby. he wants you and y-y/n down there now with the rest of us."

michelle nodded and turned around, "yo y/n lets go! urgent meeting in the lobby!"

michelle grabbed her phone and ran to the elevators. peter stood still at the door, waiting for you. you looked over at him again, he obviously wasn't letting you stay behind. so you sighed and got up walking out the door.

"hey," peter said, shocking to you.

"no," you replied in the most monotone voice ever existing.

peter let out a breath as you walked past him toward the elevators, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders. you walked in silence.

the elevator doors were just closing on michelle as she said, "later losers."

great, now you would be stuck on an awkward elevator ride with peter.

"so um, i decided not to go to prague with mysterio."

you smirked, "glad you finally have some sense in you."

"but it's not because of you. it's because this is big superhero stuff, not for me. i just want to enjoy my vacation."

"sure is big superhero stuff, that's why i'm headed to prague tonight."

"what-" peter was cut off by mr harrington.

"ah there they are! y/n, peter, we are going to prague!"

"what?!" you both said at the same time.

——————

and that's how you ended up on a bus headed to prague the next morning. at least now you didn't have to leave the group. but peter wanted to be anywhere but prague.

you say in the very back of the bus all alone, to keep researching the upcoming attack and getting side info from maria hill. that's when brad davis walked up to you.

he did that disgusting smirk, "hey y/n can i sit with y-"

"fuck off, brad."

with that he turned around and sat in the only other empty seat a few rows ahead, next to michelle. you knew how much she hated him. and then you see peter walking down the aisle.

"guess i'm sitting with you," he said.

"yeah i guess you are."

peter stumbled trying to speak to you as he sat down, "so i talked to nick. and i'm going to work with him and mysterio. since he's the reason we are going to prague in the first place. i- i have no choice."

"i don't care. i'm still working without that mysterio guy, with or without you."

"okay. i'm sorry."

what was he sorry for?

—————— the carnival

you sat on top of a nearby building in a spare suit you never used. not wanting to be identified. across the way you saw peter in an all black s.h.i.e.l.d suit. it suited him actually. you were too busy staring at him that you didn't notice the great blob of fucking fire coming your way. it knocked the roof of the building your were on completely off leaving it on fire and you falling hard onto the ground.

"shit y/n!" peter noticed you.

"what's that?" mysterio asked.

"uhhh, n-nothing! i got aight of the fire elemental!"

you slowly got up on your arms. you weren't giving up. you yelled for civilians to get out of the area quickly. you noticed your classmates ned and betty stuck on the ferris wheel. in danger.

"ah shit."

you ran to them and climbed that ferris wheel like no problem, snapping the cables and catching them with your telekinetic powers, bringing them and yourself safely to the ground. they had no idea who you were luckily.

"oh gosh thank you thank you-" betty cried.

"GET OUT OF HERE, NOW! HURRY!" you screamed. you wanted them to be safe.

it was time to focus on the fire. you didn't really have a plan, but you just wanted to rip the fucking thing apart. so that's what you did.

peter was swinging around alongside mysterio.

"okay you go right and- wait who is that?" mysterio said.

"that's y/n. she works alone," peter spoke into the com.

"she's here? should we help her?"

"I GOT IT! JUST GET OUT THE WAY" you yelled, hearing the boys talking from a distance.

you planted your feet into the dirt, lifting your arms to the element. blue energy shot out of them as you focused, controlling the fire, tearing the shit out of it and blowing it up into pieces. but blowing you back in the process.

you did it. you destroyed fire. how the hell does that work? but you did it so...

though now you were on the ground blacked out. mysterio has left to god knows where. yet peter swung over to you.

"y/n! y/n! can you hear me? god, wake up, i'll kill you if your dead!"

he was angry yet concerned, holding your shoulder, hoping you would wake up. he can't believe he let you do this.

suddenly you jumped up, extremely startled and confused and shot a blast of energy at peter, throwing him backward like 50 feet. he landed with a hard thud and groan.

"god y/n. what the hell?"

"shit, i'm sorry."

he got up slowly but surely, "alright alright, but you killed...fire?"

"yeah and i did it without your help." you tilted your head at him.

his jaw dropped and spider eyes widened, speechless.

"anyways i gotta go."

——————— the illusion

"maybe if you were good enough, she would trust you."

you appeared in front of peter, out of your suit in normal clothes before you were shot right before his eyes, calling his name as your last words.

"peter!"

"y/n!"

then reality came back. and he was talking to fury.

"you know, you are so gullible," fury laughed. but it wasn't fury.

"i mean you're smart as a wip," fury began,

"but a sucker," beck actually finished.

"and now all your friends have to die. starting with y/n."

"leave her alone. don't touch her," peter pleaded.

"i thought you hated her."

"no- no i don't i just-m"

"have an undeniable tension with her just waiting to break," beck laughed.

"but for what it's worth, peter, i really am sorry."

and peter got hit by train. taking him god knows where. and you had no fucking idea.

[blackcatanna]

Tales of the Reluctant Kazama Bitch Part 2: Edo Blossoms!

We left our would-be heroine galloping across the country, desperately clinging to the man who's repeatedly threatened to kidnap and impregnate her. However, all of this ickyness is forgotten in the face of a greater threat: her creepy brother and stepdad, who want to turn everyone into shitty vampires.

Chapter 1:

*Sadly scrolls past superior men to get to Kazama's portrait* :'(

If this route contains plenty of free Sen and Kimigiku, I will be less mad at it.

Wait, when you say, "abandon our horse" you are gonna come back for it, right?! RIGHT?!!? O_O

A deserted house, huh? Seems like a great place to have a nap and totally not get murdered by the spirits of the restless undead.

And, of course, Kazama just HAS to take a minute to be a bougie bitch, "Hmph. I would sooner call this a hut than a house."

"Just shut up, and sit tight." Classic Kazama.

Kazama going on about "The destructive force of humans" again -_- Pot kettle black. Bitch.

Wow, the Yukimura clan helped Tokugawa Ieyasu "usurp control of the country with military force." In my head, this takes place in the same universe as the Samurai Warriors series X_X

"You take me for some boorish creep, don't you?" Yes.

"I shall not lay a finger upon you until our marriage is finalized." That's great, provided that I get a say in whether or not we get married!

Amagiri is being helpful and practical and Kazama is just being extremely rude, stubborn and idiotic. X_X

"You'd better not bitch at all, got it?" Um, Kazama, you're the one who bitches about everything. Not me.

"The thought of Kazama rescuing me stood at odds with the initial impression I'd had of him as a crude, sadistic warrior who hated the Shinsengumi." Um, why can't he be all of those things? Just because he's a dick doesn't mean that he's going to let his precious brood mare fall off a cliff!

HAND HOLDING ALERT! THE ORGASMETER IS GOING WILD!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT INITIATED!

Hold up, female demons all have the same stamina as normal humans but males get superhuman endurance?! This is so unfair! -_-

Chapter 2:

Guess I'll never see my beloved Shinsen-gummies again :'(

Here goes Kazama again, shitting on the Shinsengumi for risking their lives because he can't comprehend the idea of anything being worth risking his own precious life.

"Kazama dismissed the Shinsengumi to a degree that I could only describe as willful ignorance." YES GIRL. GET HIM. "I had never met anyone so incapable of empathy." Most sociopaths find it advantageous to at least pretend to empathise with people. I guess when you're an all-powerful demon price, such precautions are needless.

Ooh! Can I please stay at the Shinsengumi's headquarters!

OH SO NOW MY OPINIONS ARE ASININE?!??!!! I THOUGHT THAT THIS HO AGREED WITH ME THAT FURIES ARE BAD!?

Wait, so now I don't want Kazama to kill my family of creeps? Y tho? I love my family but I still wouldn't let them commit stupid genocide. I guess she really believes that she can reason with them. We'll see how that works out.

I am enjoying this slice of Kodo backstory to hammer home how far he has fallen.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! SO, IN THIS ROUTE, KAZAMA HATES HIM SO HE CAN'T PIMP ME OUT TO KAZAMA SO HE WANTS ME TO "MATE WITH" THE FURIES INSTEAD!??!? WTF!?!!

"Bitter, senile idiot" For once, Kazama is right.

Did Kodo just throw me at Kazama?! Stepdad of the year.

"Perhaps I'm being forward, but I see in you the virtues befitting the leader of the Yukimura clan." Stop, stop. My penis can only get so erect.

"You will feel better watching me peel the flesh from their bones with the swing of my sword." O_O Is this Game of Thrones now? Uh, thanks, I guess, for those words of, uh? Comfort?! What girl doesn't want to watch a guy dismember her family!?

Awe, tiny Chizuru's village burning memory :'( My heart! :'(

Shiranui "plopping" himself on the floor is a big mood :')

Nooo! The Shogunate is feeding the Shinsengumi to the furies?! :'(

Spider Kaoru being weird and creepy (literally) as usual.

Ugh, I thought we'd agreed to murder the fam?

Ooh! This house has pretty wallpaper!

Why couldn't Kaoru just live with me and Kodo for all those years?! Did Kodo just hand him over to those abusive fucks because he couldn't be bothered to raise a child who didn't have a precious vagina?

I love the scuttling sound that the minions make when they assemble! :')

Turns out, even Amagiri can't punch a fury to death X_X

DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD. Kodo just went so, so evil o_e

I've stopped listening to Kazama whenever he goes off on one of his rants about how all humans suck and are to blame for all of our problems -_-

When the nice music started playing, I expect to see someone I actually liked but it was just Kazama in a new outfit.

CALM DOWN, YOU THIRSTY WENCH! IT'S JUST A NEW OUTFIT X_X

"Quit wallowing in your self-pity for once." Wisdom?! From Kazama?!

"Do you remember the Shinsengumi captain named 'Harada'?" O_O Yes. What happened to him?! IS HE OKAY?!?? DID YOU KILL HIM!!!?!!!!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :'( :'( :'( </3

And so it begins. Hanging out with these fuckers while watching everyone I love die from afar </3

Awe, Shiranui and Harada became buddies <3 and now Shiranui blames his bad luck for Harada's death. :'( It's not your fault, Shiranui D'X

Kazama: "No time for tears." BEGONE, THOT. :'(

Chapter 3:

Bad news, huh? Bad news for me or for you, Kazama? >:(

*Winces in anticipation of more dead Shinsengumi members*

RIP Kondou. You were too wholesome for this cruel world :'(

Welp, looks like I'm chasing my beloved ho's across the country :D

Oh, Kazama thinks that I'm joking about trying to reunite with my long lost friends. You don't KNOOOW me!

"Harada, who was ripped to shreds at Ueno. No one's patting him on the back for dying like a wounded animal." LET ME AT THIS EVIL CUNT!!! HOW DARE HE!!! I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN!!!! DO YOU NOT POSSESS AN OUNCE OF RESPECT, OR TACT, AT THE VERY LEAST!?!!?

"All they'll ever be is a footnote in the annals of history. Their legacy is being spat on." "Kazama made a lot of sense." BITCH WHERE!!!????!

"I knew women were whimsied by delusion, but you are sitting at the top of the pile." -_- Are all demons this sexist?! I don't think I want to hang out with other demons anymore.

"You should go after him." Amagiri, why?! -_- I don't wanna! Let him stew in his own miserable juices.

He looks like a disgruntled cat.

OH, BITCH EXPECTED ME TO FOLLOW HIM. I should never have listened to Amagiri. He has no eyebrows.

We're in my burned out village, aren't we? :'(

OMG KAORU'S DEAD BODY IS RIGHT THERE O_O

"Why are you crying?" REALLY?!???!

This is v sad :'(

OH CAN YOU SHUT UP ABOUT HOW THE HUMANS ARE TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE WE BURY MY BROTHER, WHOM YOU LITERALLY MURDERED. IF YOUR SO POWERFUL, WHY CAN YOU ONLY KILL?! YOU ONLY SAVED ME FOR YOUR OWN DISGUSTING PURPOSES. IF YOU TRULY SAW KAORU'S POTENTIAL TO BE A FINE LEADER, WHY WERE YOU SO QUICK TO KILL HIM?!? HUH!??! D'X

"He died just as he lived--alone" :'(

Kodo absolutely needed a good killing but I believe that Kaoru was redeemable. :'(

WHY ARE YOU ASKING HIS PERMISSION TO REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY THE WAY YOU CHOOSE!?!

"It was never my intention to reveal the history of the Yukimura clan to you." BITCH, WHO ARE YOU TO DENY ME THE HISTORY OF MY OWN CLAN?! >:(

"Impatience is unbecoming" Oh no, heaven forbid you lose interest in me! Not that that would ever happen to this thirsty whore.

"Obedience is a good look on you. You are well on your way to becoming the ideal life." LISTEN HERE YOU SMUG PRICK!!!!!! I WILL DIE BEFORE I EVEN CONSIDER THAT REVOLTING POSSIBILITY!!!!

Here we go, time for an orgy of sadness, courtesy of Amagiri! :(

"Okita has passed away from illness." Not surprising but very, very sad :'( Poor Okita, slowly wasting away while his world falls apart around him </3

Saito's MIA, which doesn't look good but, historically, he was fine so I can handle that, I guess O_O If he is confirmed dead later, imma be real mad. AND SAD. D'X

Nagakura is also MIA?! Big sad </3 I bet that Kazama is secretly loving this >:(

HEISUKE AND SANAN ARE FULLY DEAD!!?? D'X NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is too much sad. FFS, KAZAMA, YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME SEE MY FRIENDS BEFORE THEY WERE ALL KILLED, YOU HEARTLESS WENCH! WAS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG TO JUST WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE I CARED ABOUT WAD DEAD SO THAT I'D HAVE TO CLING TO YOU!?

"What about the others?" WHAT OTHERS?! Hijikata, Souma, Nomura? Is that it?! My family is DEAD, my friends are DEAD. Kazama doesn't see that as a problem because my fertile body is still intact but MY HEART IS BROKEN D"X

"That little dog's still got some bite, eh?" SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP.

"Everyone's still putting up a fight, huh" Well, not everyone. Most people are dead but, uh, good on you for seeing this as a glass half full...

Ugh, why does Kazama have to come with me to Ezo?

STOCKHOLM SYNDROME STRIKES AGAIN.

Aaaawwweee Shiranui brought me Harada's spear D'X

Shiranui is so much better and kinder than Kazama :'(

HOW CAN KAZAMA GO THROUGH LIFE BEING SUCH A CUNT AND SCOFFING AT EVERYONE'S SINCERE BELIEFS. No wonder even his allies hate him.

Shiranui, stop with the kind, heartfelt words! You're making me cry D'X

"Shiranui was nowhere near as bad as Kazama" Truth.

"Isn't this just another worm you've let crawl into your insipid heart?" Wow, this route is actually making me like Kazama LESS.

Sendai is pretty.

WE MISSED THEM AGAIN?!!? NOW I'M STUCK ALONE WITH THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN!?!?

Wow, this CG is telling. Chizuru crying against Kazama's turned back.

Chapter 4:

Well, at least I get to stay in a mansion while I cry over my dead friends and family.

Omg, I'm basically Kazama's housewife X_X

Kazama's in a bad mood, huh? Did Hijikata die before Kazama could fulfill his promise to me? Useless man.

OMG, HE REALLY HAS MADE ME HIS WENCH!!! NO!!! DON'T FETCH HIM THE SAKE!!!!

"Fetch me a bottle at once." "I'm only going to grab you one, okay...? Drinking too much isn't good for your health." I'M DEFINITELY HIS WIFE!!! HELP!!!! HIW CAN I WAKE FROM THIS NIGHTMARE??!!

"Sake is more of a medicine than a poison, and as you've noticed, I'm ill. Make it three bottles." Aaaand my husband's an alcoholic X_X

"Hey, don't take your frustrations out on me. Also, it's only a 'medicine' when you drink in moderation--not when you're piss drunk." Yaass Chizuru! You tell that edgy thot!

"Humility is a more attractive colour on you. From now on, feel free to humble yourself by complimenting me however much you deem fit." That would be never. I cannot with This Bitch. Eat shit and die, Kazama.

Okay, now things are really sad. Still chasing my friends as they fight against all the odds D'X

Aaaaaah, the tension is killing me! This is going to be horrible D'X

SHIMADA AND SOUMA ARE ALIVE!!!

"I'm going to kill each and every one of you impotent bastards until there's none left. See you in Hell!" :') I've missed Hijikata!

WHY AM I CHASTISING SOUMA FOR STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF AGAINST KAZAMA!?

Oh great, now we're hunting for Hijikata's corpse. SADNESS INTENSIFIES.

"What about you, girl...?" First of all, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Secondly, the way he addressed me reminds me of my brother XD

ER MAH GERD!!! HE IZ KISSING MEH!!! O_O

"Although I'd wanted to scream, I couldn't." O_e Tha fuck?!?

WITH TONGUE!!!

Final Chapter:

Please let me not be married to Kazama X_X

"I was alone" Good start.

"This incessant urge to clean" Can't relate.

"Sadly, my father passed away." XD

Yaaaas become a doctor! You don't need no man!

However, tell me more about this cute medicine clerk ;)

Speak of the demon X_X

When you get sick of kindly old ladies telling you to find a man so you settle for some dickhead edgelord X_X

"He was his usual, callous self." Husband material X_X

Wait, I've been all alone all this time?! What about Sen?!? Why can I not have friends? :'(

"I've come to claim you." BITCH, I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT (BUT VERY SAD AND LONELY) WOMAN!

"I will tolerate no resistance" O_O

"Kazama might have been a pain, but he was my pain" Uh, okay XD

So, I guess I do marry Kazama purely because he's the only person left alive who knows what I went through X_X . At least Chizuru developed... Not a backbone but... Almost a backbone. Maybe X_X I'm sure that Chizuru will make a lovely stepford wife but that make me kind of sad -_-

[xiaotvng-a]

❛   incorrect quotes ˓ 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 ˒

( @jujuquitas edition ) apenas um compilado de frases que meu personagens provavelmente diriam se estivessem naquela situação. 

arabella : are you flirting with me?

aztharov : i’ve been for the past centuries, but thanks for noticing

—

anastasia : you're a freak!

alaric : we’ll work on terms of affection later.

—

theresa : ugh, i have ashes in my bra.

george : can’t tell if that’s hot or not.

theresa : it’s not. ashes in my bra is not hot.

george : well, it’s kinda hot. *leans in to whisper in her ear* boobs go in a bra.

—

shihyun : guess what number I’m thinking of.

ryung : 420.

shihyun : no, that’s really immature of you. someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

dahye : 69?

shihyun : yea it was 69.

—

heathcliff : what are you doing

catherine, standing on a chair : i live here too y’know. i can stand wherever i want whenever i want

heathcliff : where’s the spider

catherine : it’s under the table please get it for me

—

alaric : *pouring wine into two wine glasses* do you know why i called you in?

anastasia : because i accidentally sent you nudes?

alaric : *stops pouring wine*

alaric : …accidentally?

—

aztharov : *sneezes* 

arabella : god bless you 

aztharov : we’ve talked about this

—

ryung : could you not stand so close to me? you’re making me claustrophobic.

dahye : what does “claustrophobic” mean?

shihyun : it means he’s afraid of santa claus!

ryung : no, it doesn’t!

dahye : ho ho ho!

shihyun : stop it, dahye! you’re scaring him!

—

death : one large coffee. black, like my soul.

death : *hands the coffee to yeojin*

death : and could I get apple juice please?

—

anastasia : so basically when someone says something really cool, you say “wig”.

callisto : okay, got it.

cassian, a while later : i’m in love with you.

callisto : wig.

—

arabella : hey, aztharov, can you do me a small favour?

aztharov : i've literally killed for you, but go on.

—

xuanzhou : weiwei, i think we should make a pact: if we’re both still single in an hour, let’s get married.

—

alaric : so, do you come here often?

anastasia : this is my house, how did you get in here-

—

kei : mieko and i are no longer friends.

mieko : kei that’s a terrible way to announce that we’re dating-

—

theresa : okay george, i need you to swear—

george : fuck.

theresa :

george :

theresa :

theresa : i meant, like, promise.

—

weiwei : i can’t believe we’re locked in this room together.

xuanzhou : *throwing a key out of the window* truly unfortunate.

—

aztharov : a vodka for me, and she’ll have, uh..a juice box.

arabella : aztharov, i’m 20.

aztharov : …

arabella : i can buy my own juice box.

—

cassian : i told callisto her eyes change color when she lies, so now I can tell when she's lying.

anastasia : how though?

cassian : watch this.

cassian : callisto! do you love me?

callisto, covering her eyes : no.

—

weiwei : *gets a paper cut*

xuanzhou : *sighing under his breath* hasn’t she been through enough?

—

aquarine : come on. i didn't drink that much last night.

servent : you were flirting with empress cheong.

aquarine : so what? she's my wife.

servent : you asked her if she was single...

servent : and started crying when she said she wasn't.

—

kei, to the people at the demon realm : alright, listen up, you little shits.

kei : not you, mieko. you're an angel, and we're thrilled you're here.

—

catherine : *walks into the kitchen* is something burning?

heathcliff : *leaning seductively against the counter* only my desire for you, sweetheart.

catherine : the toaster is on fire, idiot.

—

[at disneyland on the teacup ride]

ryung : *spinning calmly, enjoying his ride in peace*

dahye and shihyun : *flying past him, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

—

yeojin : *kisses death on the cheek*

death : what was that?

yeojin : affection.

death : disgusting.

death : ...do it again.

—

shihyun : please ryung, im begging you

ryung : im sorry shihyun

shihyun : don’t do it, please!

ryung : it has to be done.

ryung, placing down a draw-four uno card : uno.

dahye :

dahye : what the fuck

—

aztharov, to arabella : speaking as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, i'm not really sure that you and gabriel really mesh well together.

—

theresa : an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

george : an apple a day keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough.

—

alaric : every time you say those three words, it makes my day.

anastasia :

alaric : i would do anything just to hear you say them to me now...

anastasia :

anastasia : leave me alone.

alaric, brushing away a tear : beautiful.

—

mieko : kei, how old are you?

kei : hella

—

heathcliff : don’t say a word.

catherine : fergalicious.

heathcliff : i said don’t say a word.

catherine : oh i see. so two weeks ago when we were playing scrabble it was’nt a word, but now suddenly is.

catherine : how convenient for you.

—

xuanzhou : of course i care about the people in the palace equally.

eunuch : the palace was attacked while you were away.

xuanzhou : is weiwei okay?

—

aztharov : i’m living my best life.

arabella : gabriel is drowning.

aztharov :  this isn’t about him.

—

callisto : what am i supposed to do while you’re gone?

cassian : what do you useually do when i’m gone?

callisto : wait for you to come back.

—

any concubine : did you know there’s a rumor you’re in love with weiwei?

xuanzhou : a rumor? are you telling me people are doubting it?

—

ryung to dahye : how's the most beautiful person in the entire universe doing?

dahye : i don't know, how are y-

shihyun, from the other side of the room : i'm doing great.

—

kei : and then i got stabbed

mieko : *visibly concerned* he stabbed you?

kei : with a knife

mieko : and then?

kei : i did what any normal person would do,

kei : i asked him if he wanted it back.

—

aztharov : going to meetings, writing things down, you love that nerd stuff.

arabella : writing things down is nerdy? what do you do?

aztharov : just forget stuff like a cool person.

—

cheong : *breathes*

aquarine : for the love of god, stop being perfect.

—

halime : richard, i'm cold!

richard : oh, here, take my scarf.

theresa : *to george* george, i'm cold too!

george : well damn, theresa, i don't control the weather.

—

arabella : you’re smiling, did something good happen?

aztharov : can’t i just smile because i feel like it?

arabella :

aztharov : gabriel tripped and fell in the hallway.

—

anyone : aquarine no

aquarine : no one tells me what to do

cheong : aquarine no

aquarine : ok

—

gabriel : *flirts with arabella*

aztharov : *staring at them silently*

heathcliff : you’re really quiet today, aztharov.

aztharov : *still staring* nobody plans a murder out loud.

—

anastasia : i have decided i am, in fact, a snack. it’s just that no one’s hungry.

alaric, under his breath : i’m starving.

—

kei : you ever just feel like shit, hate yourself, and have a god awful day but someone just turns it around?

aztharov : what happened?

kei : mieko smiled at me.

—

[ryung standing outside holding up a sign that says “prom?”]

shihyun : OH MY GOD? YES!!

ryung : no, tell dahye!!

shihyun : DAHYE! I’M GOING TO PROM WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!

—

anastasia : are you a vampire?

alaric : i am not a vampire. i have blood.

anastasia : is it your blood?

alaric : it is blood, yes.

anastasia : is it blood that has always belonged to you?

alaric : it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is mine.

—

aztharov : someone's going to die.

arabella : of fun!

—

shihyun : christmas is cancelled.

dahye : you can’t cancel a holiday.

shihyun : keep it up, dahye, and you’ll lose new year’s.

dahye : what does that mean?

shihyun : ryung, take new year’s away from dahye.