#i had to toss the mattress topper and one pillow but all my other pills survived

[2024skin]

I recovered and my bed no longer smells like pee

>new cat is litter box trained

>try to bond with her by letting her sleep in my bed

>she pees on my pillow

>she pees on me

[my-one-love-is-music]

Cuddles Are the Best Remedy for Nightmares

Summary: Tim was still plagued by nightmares months after he was rescued from his capture when everyone thought he was dead. The nightmares were making it impossible to sleep and Tim was running out of options if he didn't want to end up as a puddle on the sidewalk once his exhaustion caught up with him on patrol. But when he finds relief in the most unexpected of places, he finds himself re-evaluating exactly what Jason means to him.

A/N: This is really just a quick jaytim oneshot so I could have an excuse to write Tim with nightmares and then that sweet sweet jaytim bed sharing.

Also on AO3!

Darkness surrounded him, pushing in on all sides as it fought to swallow him whole. He was cold and tired. His uniform was torn and bloody, even though he’d long since stopped bleeding. Tim smacked his hand against the glass. The sound was weak, taking too much of his energy. Too much energy he didn’t have.

He tried to laugh, but the sound hardly escaped him as more than a wheeze. He slumped against the glass, tired. So tired of everything he’d been through. He wanted to rest. He wasn’t sure he could take it anymore.

He didn’t want to take it anymore. He wanted to give up and let himself rest. If there wasn’t any hope of getting pulled out of the hell he’d been dragged down into, there was no point in going on.

He was certain no one was coming for him. He couldn’t reach out to them and they probably didn’t care. The darkness said so. And Tim was quickly learning to trust the darkness around him. That was the only constant he could trust in.

If he just closed his eyes it would all be over. He just had to stop fighting and let it seep into his bones, stealing his last breath as claws squeezed his heart…

Tim jolted upright with a gasp. He blinked into the darkness, hands grasping at his chest to make sure the wounds battering his body really had healed.

His hands pulled at the damp shirt plastered against his overheated skin. He glanced at the clock, the green numbers eerie in the dark, but hopeful that he was free and wouldn’t be dragged back into the suffocating and drugging darkness from when he was captured.

Sleep hadn’t been great since he was rescued. And this time he’d barely been asleep an hour before the dreams plagued him again.

Tim shoved his blankets and sheets to the end of the bed and climbed out. He yanked his damp shirt over his head as he made his way to the bathroom, shivering as the cool air of his apartment seeped the heat from his skin. He shoved his shorts down around his ankles and kicked them to the side before tossing his shirt onto the small pile.

The only comfort was that the sun would be rising soon. But until that happened, he was going to force the nightmares of his time in captivity away under the cold spray of the shower.

~~

Tim stifled a yawn as he stared into his second cup of coffee that morning. He knew he looked like shit. He knew the nearly endless days without sleep were catching up with him. He didn’t have much longer before he’d completely collapse from exhaustion. He could only hope that when that did happen, he’d be blessed with a dreamless sleep and could recover from the hellscape his life had become.

“You look like shit.”

Tim jumped, head snapping up to find Jason sitting in the chair across the table from him.

He gaped and looked past him towards the open window.

“Jay-what-how-how the hell did you get in? Never mind that, what are you doing here?”

Jason frowned. “You invited me over. We were going to go over the current case we’re working on. Are you okay? You don’t usually forget stuff like that.”

Tim blinked, trying to search his memory for any recollection of that conversation.

“I’m going to take the extended silence and the slightly panicked look in your eyes that you don’t remember,” Jason said.

Tim pursed his lips and nodded.

“You’re not so obsessed with this case that you’re losing sleep over it, are you?”

Tim shook his head. “It’s not the case. I-I’ve just been having trouble sleeping.”

“Have you tried taking meds? Meditation? A new mattress?”

Tim chuckled and braced his elbows on the table, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes until he saw spots. The fact Jason was concerned over his sleeping habits was comedic despite the truce they’d managed to settle into.

“I’ve tried meds, yoga, altering my sleep schedule, every mattress topper and pillow on the market and..” He sighed and shrugged. “Nothing’s changed.”

Jason searched his face. “Nightmares?” he murmured.

Tim hesitated before nodding.

“You feel like talking about it?”

Tim bit his lip. “I guess that’s one thing I haven’t tried.”

He sighed and moved to grab his coffee, but Jason snatched it from his reach. He settled back in his chair and took a long sip.

“You don’t have to talk to me,” Jason said between sips. “But you’re gonna end up as a puddle on the sidewalk if you keep forcing yourself to stay awake with unhealthy amounts of coffee.”

Tim stared at his hands. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“It’s…it’s from when I was captured and everyone thought I was dead. I keep thinking I’m back there, getting pulled under with no escape and my only future ends in death.”

The silence was deafening. Tim felt small and exposed and vulnerable. He wanted to run and hide away from all of it.

“I’m sorry,” Jason said. “I’m sure no one’s told you that yet.”

Tim bit his lip, the sadness and desperation and self-loathing and pity that accompanied the memories of his time in captivity forcing themselves to the surface. Not that they’d ever really gone away since he came back.

“You didn’t deserve to go through all that shit,” Jason continued. “I thought…well I always hoped that what happened to me would be the worst thing that could happen to this family, but it wasn’t, and every day is just further proof that worse and worse shit is out there than just getting beat nearly to death with a crowbar and blown up.”

“I’m sorry Jason,” Tim murmured.

“You don’t need to apologize to me,” Jason sighed. “I’ve come to terms with what I’ve been through. So, let me help you. You need sleep.”

Tim nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Have a seat on the couch?”

Tim blinked his eyes open and stared at Jason who huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Just go sit on the couch.”

Tim pulled himself from his chair and shuffled around to the couch. He dropped down onto the cushion and waited. Jason shut the open window and pulled the curtains closed. He disappeared into Tim’s room and returned with a folded blanket.

He wrapped it around Tim’s shoulders and sat down next to him. He unlaced his boots and kicked them off, propping his feet up on the coffee table. He wrapped an arm around Tim’s shoulders and pulled him against his side.

Tim let out a long breath, his head coming to rest on Jason’s shoulder. The tension melted from his limbs, nearly making him dizzy now that he wasn’t trying to force himself to stay awake.

Unlike every other time Tim had tried to fall asleep since his return, his brain was quiet, anxieties abated as darkness, for the first time, wrapped him in warmth and gently rocked him down the river to sleep.

~~

Tim sucked in a sharp breath as he slowly pulled himself from sleep. He blinked his eyes open, trying to focus on the glow emanating from the tv.

“Jason?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“You get enough sleep?”

Tim nodded, his cheek rubbing against Jason’s shoulder. He took notice of Jason’s hand rubbing up and down his back, the movement soothing enough to nearly pull him back under.

He sat up and stretched his arms over his head, feeling his back pop in several places.

“You feeling better?” Jason asked.

“Yeah,” Tim sighed. “Thanks, I…” he trailed off, feeling his cheeks heat up. “Thanks for helping me.”

“You want to go over that case now? Because I kind of just ordered a pizza…” Jason said with a low chuckle.

Tim’s stomach growled. “I think that’s a great idea,” he said with a grin, jumping up from the couch to get his laptop.

~~

Tim hung his wet towel in the bathroom. He ruffled his damp hair and shuffled into his bedroom, his muscles aching after an eventful night on patrol.

He’d been making progress on the case he was working with Jason and if they had a few more days as successful as that night, they’d have things wrapped up in no time and could congratulate themselves on a job well done.

He pulled his sheets back and slipped underneath them, curling up on his side with the blanket wrapped around him. His eyes slid shut and he let out a long breath, thinking he might finally be able to move past what happened to him thanks to Jason.

~~

Tim jolted up in bed, gasping and grasping his damp shirt to try and force the weight from his chest and the cold skeletal fingers that had forced their way into his chest.

The last memories of suffocating darkness and bitter cold still tried to pull him back to freezing and isolated captivity.

Tim shivered as the sweat chilled his skin. He climbed out of bed and hurried to his bedroom doorway. He braced his hands against the frame, trying to figure out where he was going.

He needed to think. He needed to do something. Maybe he even needed something like a drink or coffee or even pills. He was starting to care less about what he used as long as he got a reprieve from the endless nightmares.

Tim sagged against the doorframe and slid to the floor. He buried his face in his knees, knowing he wouldn’t get to rest anytime soon.

~~

Tim stifled a yawn, wrapping his fingers around the cup of coffee Jason passed to him as he sat down on the roof ledge beside him.

“You been sleeping okay?” Jason asked, voice soft with understanding.

Tim shrugged. “Not as good as I could,” he muttered.

Jason was silent a moment, holding his cup tightly between his hands.

“Look,” he sighed. “I don’t want to assume anything, but we’ve gotten some good work in tonight. I have…I have an apartment a couple blocks over. Why don’t��� we turn in. You can have a shower and maybe get some sleep. I know I don’t have much room to talk in how you cope with the nightmares, but maybe sleeping somewhere that’s not one of your safehouses or your apartment could keep them at bay.”

Tim’s hand froze, his cup halfway to his mouth. He thought over Jason’s statement and nodded.

Jason grinned and climbed to his feet. He shoved his helmet on his head and held out a hand. Tim let himself be pulled to his and gave Jason a brief smile.

They abandoned their cups of coffee on the roof and sprinted to the edge, jumping across the alley below.

~~

Tim tugged at the hem of the shirt Jason let him borrow. He stared at Jason’s bed, wanting to climb into the inviting sheets, but afraid of what memories his brain would dredge up this time. He’d been confident when Jason suggested it, but he was still afraid he would be sucked back into the cold, dark cell.

Jason was in the living room. He’d insisted on taking the couch for the night and Tim might’ve almost preferred to be out there, but he’d seen the look Jason had given him when he opened his mouth to argue. Jason was probably prepared to strap him down if it meant he took the bed.

Tim sighed and crawled into bed. He wrapped the blankets around himself and buried his face in the pillow under his head. He closed his eyes, hoping he’d finally get a chance to rest after several days of nightmares.

~~

Tim shifted, his breathing erratic as he tried to center himself. He could feel the trembling in his limbs even though he wasn’t trying to move, hoping by staying still the nightmares and dark thoughts would finally pass and leave him be.

Something slipped across his stomach and he jerked away from the touch, thinking the skeletal fingers had finally come back to press into his chest and rip his heart out.

“Relax, Tim. It’s me,” Jason said, voice rough above his head.

Everything seeped out of him. Jason’s voice was real. It meant safety. It meant he wasn’t going to be trapped and left for dead. If Jason was there, he wasn’t in the cell. Jason wouldn’t let him die. Not after everything they’ve been through in building up their current truce and subsequent friendship.

Jason’s arm tightened around him as he relaxed, pulling him back against his chest.

“Sleep,” he whispered into his ear.

Tim nodded, his eyes already sliding shut without prompting. He surrendered himself to Jason’s warmth, knowing he’d keep him safe and free from the darkness.

~~

Tim blinked his eyes open and squinted at the sliver of sunlight poking through the curtains. He groaned and rolled over, burying his face in the chest behind him. He frowned, trying to remember why there was someone in his bed.

The night before he was out on patrol with Jason. They’d sat down to take a break and have a coffee when…

Tim’s thoughts screeched to a halt and he tilted his head back, finding Jason’s sleeping face buried in his pillow. Once again, Jason had helped push his nightmares away. He didn’t know why it was Jason who was helping him sleep through the night, but he was starting to realize finding the reason why it was happening was less important than enjoying the sleep he was getting.

Tim closed his eyes and settled back down into the mattress, snuggling further into Jason’s embrace as he ignored the morning outside.

~~

The smell of coffee roused Tim from his sleep. He sat up, finding the duvet had been draped over him. He smiled and pushed it away, crawling out of bed to head to the kitchen.

Jason was behind the stove, cooking something in a pan. Tim spotted the full coffeepot and made a beeline for it, snatching one of the mugs from the counter.

“Pour me a cup while you’re at it?” Jason asked behind him.

Tim hummed and filled the second cup, spooning sugar into it. He slipped past Jason and grabbed the milk from the fridge, adding it to Jason’s cup before sliding it over to him.

Jason raised an eyebrow and wrapped his long fingers around the mug, flipping the sausages with one hand. He took a long sip, his eyes sliding shut as he hummed.

“Damn,” he muttered, setting it at his elbow. “How do you do that?”

Tim chuckled and leaned against the counter. “I may not know how to cook as well as you do, but one thing I do know is coffee.”

“Well I hope you’re hungry because I kind of went overboard. I’m not really used to cooking for more than one person,” he sighed, lifting the pan from the stove. He turned and added the sausages to the last remaining empty plate on the table. The others were filled with scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit. Tim spotted a butter dish and even a small pot of jelly for the toast.

“Looks delicious. And you’d be surprised how much I can pack away. Now is this all, or can I expect waffles, too?”

“Waffles are saved for the very special occasions,” Jason said with a smirk, lowering himself into the seat at one end of the table.

Tim scrambled into the seat across from him, setting his coffee next to his empty plate. “And what do I have to do to weasel waffles out of you?”

Jason raised an eyebrow and speared two sausages to dump on his plate. “I’m not sure if you’re ready to know that.”

Tim paused, his fingers wrapped around two slices of toast. He glanced up at Jason, but found him completely focused on his own breakfast, paying him no more mind.

~~

The morning stretched on as Jason and Tim demolished most of the food that Jason cooked. Tim gathered the dishes into his arms and started washing them while Jason refilled their mugs with coffee.

Jason pushed open his living room windows, letting the fresh spring air in. Birds chirped outside, making the morning seem lighter than it had in a long while. It was unusual for Gotham to feel so calm, but maybe it was the start of a new era.

Tim put the last plate into the drainboard and unstopped the drain, letting the dishwater drain from the basin. He washed his hands and grabbed his mug of coffee, sitting down on the couch next to Jason.

They sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company and not willing to break the peace that had settled between them. The comfort from the morning to precious a thing to risk losing when so much of their lives was chaos, pain, and destruction.

~~

Tim tossed the duffle bag Jason let him borrow onto the floor of his apartment as he shut his door behind him. He stretched his arms over his head, still feeling the last sensation of the wind against his face as he held Jason tightly from behind while they roared through Gotham’s streets on his bike.

He smiled, letting his arms fall back to his sides as he crossed his apartment to his couch. He grabbed his laptop and settled down against the armrest, stretching his legs out across the cushions.

He was surprisingly unbothered by the fact he was still wearing Jason’s clothes, about as unbothered as having woken up wrapped in Jason’s arms that morning and subsequently going back to sleep to get the most rest he’d had in he didn’t know how long.

Tim’s fingers froze on the keys of his computer when he realized that their whole morning had been domestic beyond belief. He hadn’t thought twice about doing the dishes after Jason cooked. And the fact Jason cooked for him at all was more than Tim would’ve thought possible.

They’d drank their coffee on Jason’s fucking couch, not even bothering to hold a conversation and just enjoy the morning in each other’s space. And Tim was more than certain Jason had made a sexual reference when they were talking about waffles.

And the idea of it all didn’t put him off. Not the domesticity, the post-breakfast clean-up, or the easy silence as the city woke up around them. Hell, Tim wouldn’t even mind waking up to Jason cooking waffles in the morning.

He blinked and sucked in a deep breath before ducking his head and getting to work. He’d push past it for now and if he decided to freak out about it, he could freak out later.

~~

Tim stretched his arms over his head, yawning as several places in his back popped and smarted. He was sore and ready for bed. Patrol had been long and eventful now that he and Jason were one step closer to finishing their case, and he was about to collapse if he didn’t surrender to sleep soon.

He crawled into bed and tucked his blankets around him, sighing as the muscles in his body relaxed. His eyes slid shut and he evened out his breathing, waiting for sleep to claim him.

Tim frowned when several minutes passed and the sounds of the city drifted through the walls of his apartment clear as day, his senses becoming no less fuzzy because of his exhaustion.

He opened his eyes and stared into the darkness around him. He remembered the night before when Jason crawled in bed behind him and wrapped his arm around his stomach, pressing his back to his chest.

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

That’s where he wanted to be. He didn’t just want the sense of safety and calm Jason exuded that allowed him to sleep, he also wanted Jason in bed with him. He wanted their legs tangled together as they cuddled. He wanted stubbled kisses to his shoulder and cheek.

He wanted to wake up to Jason’s coffee and a huge breakfast they could indulge in before sitting around and enjoying being together. He even wanted anything the nights spent between them could bring. Whether that meant waffles in the morning or not.

He wanted Jason.

Tim shoved the blankets off himself and clambered back to his feet. He shoved his feet into his ratty converse and grabbed a pair of one-way tinted glasses to slide onto his nose. He snagged his grapple from his small arsenal in his closet and hurried to his living room windows.

He disabled his apartment security with a flick of his wrist and shoved the windows open. He crawled out, re-engaging his security systems before he jumped up to the next landing on the fire escape and vaulted over the edge onto the roof.

Tim didn’t hesitate, sprinting to the opposite edge of the roof. He jumped, enjoying a moment of freefall before he fired his grapple and the line pulled tight, allowing him to swing to the opposite row of buildings.

~~

Tim dropped to a crouch on Jason’s fire escape, chest heaving from his frantic run across Gotham.

He got to work disabling Jason’s security and got through in seconds. He shoved the windows open and jumped inside.

Between one second and the next, Jason was standing at the edge of his living room, guns pointed between Tim’s eyes.

“Tim?” he asked, lowering the weapons as he frowned.

“Hey,” Tim said, breathless. He shut the windows behind him and re-enabled Jason’s security systems.  

“What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

Tim pulled the lenses from his face and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah…I mean…no, it’s not.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep and I realized that I can’t sleep without you.”

Jason stared at him, shifting from foot to foot. He cleared his throat. “Take your shoes off and meet me in the bedroom.”

Tim nodded and kneeled, pulling the laces undone. He yanked his shoes off and left his glasses and grapple with them in a pile underneath the window sill.

He hurried to Jason’s room and found him standing awkwardly next to his bed.

Jason met his gaze and waved towards the bed. Tim nodded and crawled under the covers, curling onto his side as he waited.

The bed dipped behind him. A moment passed before it moved and shifted as Jason laid down and found a position he was comfortable with.

Before long, Jason pressed against his back and wrapped an arm around his waist, keeping him close.

They both exhaled, the tension and stress leaking from their forms. Tim sighed and snuggled back into Jason’s embrace, glad he’d finally realized where he needed to be.

Warm lips pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, stubble scratching the sensitive skin as they moved away.

Tim smiled, eyes sliding shut as he drifted off to sleep.

~~

Tim yawned, stretching his arms over his head as he rolled onto his back in bed, arching his spine. He took a deep breath, smiling when he smelled coffee brewing after waking in Jason’s apartment for the second day in a row.

He swung his legs over the edge of the mattress and pushed himself to his feet.

He shuffled down the hall and spotted a bowl of batter at Jason’s elbow.

“Are you making pancakes?” he blurted, losing any opportunity to watch Jason in his element.

Jason chuckled and glanced over his shoulder, gaze warm as he took in Tim’s bedhead and sleep-rumpled clothes. “Waffles actually.”

Tim frowned. “I thought you only made waffles for people who…”

Jason grinned as Tim trailed off. He turned back to the counter and pulled the fresh waffle from the iron before he ladled another spoonful of batter into the waffle maker. It hissed and sizzled and Jason lowered the lid to let it cook and transform into fluffy deliciousness.

Jason left the waffled behind and walked over to Tim. He wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him forward a step to press their chests together. He ducked his head and covered Tim’s lips with his own.

Tim froze, eyes wide as they tried to focus on Jason’s face when it was so close. His mind raced thinking at some point he and Jason would need to talk about what had changed between them and determine where they were in sync with each other and what they meant to each other.

But for now, he lost whatever battle he wasn’t even trying to fight and let it go. He sighed, wrapping his arms around Jason’s shoulders, letting his eyes slide shut.

They broke the kiss with a sigh when the waffle maker beeped.

“What can I do to have you make waffles for me every day?” Tim asked with a breathy laugh.

“I think I have a pretty good idea of how to make that happen,” Jason said with a sharp grin. He pulled Tim over to the kitchen table and sat him down in a chair that would soon belong to both of them once staying apart became too much unnecessary work. Jason gave him a plate stacked high with waffles and a cup of coffee, pressing a quick kiss to his temple before he got back to turning the rest of the batter into breakfast.

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