#i had this thought on the verge of sleeping and i simply couldnt sleep at the thought of not posting this

[lostxmelody]

you, an idiot: the MeMe mv room is inconsistent!! it's a continuity error!!! how could milgram do this?!

me, a genius: the inconsistency is representative of the discord in mikotos mind and a symbol of how he's always forgetting things. unlike us, the viewer, he's barely cognizant of the changes happening right in front of him; ergo, the inconsistent room actually displays a high level of attention to detail-

[1a-imagines]

"I love you."

{Overview: You say "I love you" for the first time.}

{Type: headcannons}

{Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki.}

[[A/n: I'm trying out a new kind of style for my posts. I made the little picture things to make it look a little more fun and eye catching. Tell me what you guys think? Does it look ok? I figure it looked s bit better than just block text?]]

It happened during one of those softer moments you two shared.

It was late, and you were alone together, cuddling on his bed after a hard day.

It was peaceful and Bakugo was on the verge of sleep when he heard your whisper those sweet words under your breath.

"I love you."

His eyes shot open and he was met with your flustered face staring back at him in shock.

You thought he had been asleep.

"What did you just say?" He asked you as he stared right into your eyes.

He was in disbelief (not that he'd ever admit to it)

He watched as you squirmed around from your position on his chest, you hid your face by shoving it into his torso.

"I-I said, I love you! I-I thought you were asleep! I'm sorry if it's too soon! I know we've only been dating a few months-"

Your voice was drowning out as the sound of his own pounding heartbeat filled his ears.

You loved him.

His eyes slowly got wider and the blush on his cheeks growing more and more with each second that you rambled on.

He placed a hand on your shoulder and made you look up at him.

He heard you suck in a breath as you made eye contact.

You were, surprisingly, even more red than he was.

He grabbed your chin between his thumb and index finger before pulling you closer, your noses brushed together.

"Say it again." He whispered, a lot softer than before.

He didn't realise until that moment how much he had been longing to hear you say those words.

"I love you."

For once, he didn't even try to fight back the smile that made its way to his lips.

It was a cocky smile, but a smile nonetheless.

He brought you into his arms, squeezing you tightly as he buried his face into your neck.

It was one of those hugs that made you feel safe, it was filled with emotion as he cradled you in his arms.

He held your head in one of his hands as he pressed a firm kiss on your cheek.

He bit his lip as he tried to force the smile away.

What had you done to him? He probably looked like such an idiot right now.

Three simple words from you had made him the happiest guy in the world.

His hands clenched up at the overwhelming amount of emotions he felt.

He had never experianced anything like this.

You pulled back from the hug just so you could stare into his eyes again and that was when he realised he should probably say it back.

He tensed up at the thought and huffed, his cheeks were burning as he turned his head away from you.

It was so Damn embarrassing!

He tried to say it back but instead all that came out was;

"Good! And so you should!"

He heard you laughing at his response, it confused him but he was glad you were pressuring him to say it back.

You knew better than anyone that it wasn't going to be that easy for him.

You said a quick goodnight before pecking his lips and slowly falling asleep on his chest.

He, however, was wide awake now.

He stayed awake for hours after, petting your hair softly as he watched your peaceful sleeping face.

His mouth still ghosted a smile as he replayed those words over and over in his head.

"What a dumbass..." He huffed softly through his nose as he brushed the hair away from your forehead and pressed a kiss to it.

You were too Damn good for him.

"I love you too" he whispered into your ear, "I really, really do."

You two were out at the hero's museum when it happened.

He was off on his rambles again, talking about each hero and how he admired them all in a different way. (You didn't even have to read the plaques, you practically have your own tour guide!)

He was in his zone and you couldn't help but admire how cute he was.

His hand was firmly gripped onto yours as you walked beside him, listening to every word.

After awhile, he noticed you were staring at him with a love struck gaze and a big goofy smile on your lips.

He immediately got embarrassed and sunk his face into his jacket.

"What is it? W-Was I talking to much again?"

You shake your head and he watched as you took a step forward, brushing some stray hair behind his ear before meeting his big green eyes.

"No. I was just thinking about how much I love you."

There it was.

He sucked in a deep breath as you had knocked all the oxygen out of his lungs.

Subconsciously his hand tightened around yours as his heart filled with this unknown feeling, it felt like he was about to explode.

What this what it felt like to be madly in love with someone?

He barely held back the small whimper of joy as his heart clenched in his chest.

You loved him?!

You really loved him!?

He pressed his hand over his heart. Trying to calm it down.

His face was burning so much he thought he might faint.

You made his legs go weak as your words struck him right through the heart.

You're too cute.

"I-i-i love you too!!" He squeaked out in embarrassment, it didn't help that you two were in public either.

He wished he could've said it back as sweetly and confidently as you had but it only came out rushed and embarrased.

He heard you giggle happily at his reaction before placing a kiss on the top of his head.

"So what were you saying about this hero?"

He tried his best to act like nothing had happened, like it wasn't such a big deal to him.

But he couldn't.

He could barely speak afterwards, his mind was too preoccupied with replaying those words in his head.

It was safe to say he had successfully embarrased himself several times by stuttering over his words and walking into things.

It was like he was in a dream induced daze for the rest of the day.

He was just glad his legs were still functioning.

The poor boy really hadn't been ready.

Even after your date ended and he walked you home, all he could think about was how you had said it with such confidence!

It was so sincere and it had melted his heart right to the core.

At the end of the day he collapsed onto his bed, pushing his, still burning red, face into his pillow.

"They love me.." he whispered happily, tears pricking at his eyes.

He was so happy, he felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

There's a 100% chance that he was going to think about that moment every second of every day for at least the next 3 weeks.

He hadn't been in a particularly good mood that day.

He was quieter than usual and kept his distance from everyone.

Of course he didn't expect anyone else to notice since it wasn't any different from how he usually acted.

But it was made clear to him that you had caught on after awhile.

After dinner, he sat up in his dorm room and as soon as he heard a knock at his door he knew exactly who it was.

He let you in and instead of doing what he thought you would, and questioning him about his behaviour, you surprised him by simply trying to take his mind off whatever it was that was bothering him.

You took him out for a late night walk in the park which really helped clear his head.

There was nothing more relaxing than holding your hand in his as you wandered around the lake.

It was peaceful.

Just the two of you and the moonlight that was shimmering on the lakes surface.

Todoroki was more than thankful for your presence, you were able to take his mind off all his sorrows.

You complimented him for no reason, talked about his interests and asked how he was doing lately. You even cracked a few terrible jokes in hopes of getting a smile out of him.

It was perfect, even if he couldnt understand your strange sense of humour.

As curfew rolled around you made your way back to the dorms, the common room was dark and empty as you had expected.

Just as he was about to bid you goodnight you pulled him into a, unexpected, tight hug.

Not being used to the affection it took him awhile to relax into it.

He placed a hand on your back.

He was unsure if it was the right thing to do but you didn't push him away so he assumed it was fine.

You looked up at him with a big grin, your eyes shimmering with sincerity.

And that's when you said it.

"I don't know what you're going through and if you don't want to talk; you don't have to. But you know should know, I will always love you now matter what!"

There was a long silence.

His lips parted slightly as he stared down at you, taking time to process your words.

It took him awhile to realize what you had just said to him.

He couldn't believe it and he was tempted to ask you to repeat yourself so he could hear it again.

His heart was pounding in his chest, he wasn't used to this- he didn't know what to do.

He felt his cheeks involuntarily heating up.

Was this normal?

It felt like you had cast some sort of spell on him. That was the only way he could describe it.

His words got caught up as a lump formed in his throat.

He did his best to swallow it down but, hearing someone he cared so much about saying they loved him, it was more than he could handle.

How long had he waited for a moment like this to come?

He had been craving for love and affection for so long, and now you were here.

His angel, his reason to smile.

"I-.."

You pressed a finger to his lips to shush him.

"You don't have to say it back, I know it's not easy for you. I just wanted you to know."

His usually cold eyes softened as he stared down at your beautiful smile.

He removed your finger from his lips, holding your hand in both of his much larger ones.

He slowly leaned down and wrapped both arms tightly around your waist. Pulling you into his chest and he pressed his face into your hair.

It surprised you, and even himself.

He rarely initiated the affection in the relationship, and yet here he was. Practically clinging to you.

His body had reacted before his brain could, but it felt right.

It felt right to have you in his arms right now.

His heart was so full of love for you.

He wanted to say it back. No. He had to say it back.

It was the truth. He was in love with you, and there was no denying that.

He released a shakey breath as a single tear slipped down his face from all of overwhelming happiness he felt.

"I love you too, more than you will ever realize."

[ratanslily]

Irreplaceable

pairing: bryce lahela x f!mc (Dr. Theia Valentine)

genre: angst but with happy ending.

about the fic: im just giving bryce's premium scene some closure ♡

inspo: this post by @ofpixelsandscribbles

a/n: I've never written for my mc before oof i hope i did her justice!! honestly this fic was so rushed (like all my fics lmao, i write on impulse, not meticulous planning and its a self indulgent fics so i dont rlly expect people to read because i kinds wrote it for my own sanity)

"We should do this much, much more often"

"Agreed."

Bryce looked around the on-call room. So much changed, the beds, the technology,  the lights... and maybe them. or maybe he was the one who changed.

Theia smiled and took his hand in his, beckoning him to accompany him back to the party. He slowly removed her hand away from his and took a step back. his face grew serious as he said,

"its.. probably not a good idea"

"why?"

"its just.. I don't know.. just go ahead, without me, I dont want to draw attention to us."

Theia could tell there was much more to Bryce's strange behaviour. Ever since they started their third year, she could see something was wrong with him, something was troubling him. but when they'd get intimate, all worries would go away and he'd get back to his normal self.

so what happened?

"so it's all a game to you, isn't it?"

"wh-what?"

"you don't need me.. you just want me to satisfy your needs"

"liste-"

"No, Dr. Lahela.  listen to me.", Theia raised her voice as her eyes started glistening with fresh tears.

"was it all a game to you? I thought we had something special.. something unique.. something homely.. when you dropped your fries just to kiss me..when you comforted within these same 4 walls, when we longed to feel each other when I was sick, when you walked me home after the funeral.. I guess I was a fool, I was just a distraction to you, wasn't it?"

she turned on her heels and made way to the door. Before her hands could even touch the handle, she felt Bryce's shaking hand on her shoulder.

"Theia.. please. please stay."

"what for?"

as much as she wanted to resist, she turned back to find Bryce on the verge of tears, with a face full of longing for her.

---

Bryce never hated anything more than the sight of Theia in pain. tonight, he made her cry.

He never meant to hurt her. but he always knew this day would come, especially since they started their third ywar of residency. He knew she and him would end up on different paths.

so why try? why grow close, just to fall apart? kiss, just to say goodbye? make memories, just to move on and forget them?

but he fell,  he fell hard for her. against his best wishes. he found himself caring more for her rather than himself. he found her tears as his own. maybe more painful than his own. when he found her alone on the floor, crying all by herself, he couldnt stop himself from comforting her, feeling the same hurt as she did. they grew closer faster than he imagined, but he loved every second of their relationship.

the day he saw Theia behind the glass walls, trying to reach for him, he aligned his hand on hers, with a glass wall between them. he needed her more than ever in that moment. that night, when he sat by her side, close but not close enough, he felt it.

he felt it surging thru his veins.

he felt love.

but he didnt admit it, for the fear of rejection.

he thought of himself as someone who was easily replaceable, someone who was just a second option to others, never the priority.

little did he know, all Theia wanted is, him by her side, no one else. She never thought of him as the second option, but as the only option.

---

Theia softened at the sight of him holding back his tears and silently cursed herself for being the reason behind his tears.

"im sorry for being so loud, but tell me one thing, Bryce. Do you even need me anymore?"

her words struck him right in the heart.

"if you dont have any answer, I'll go. I'll never bother you again.."

He looked right into her eyes, feeling more vulnerable than ever.

As the tears gently rolled down his cheek, he said,

"I need you, Theia. I need you by my side. I need you to be by my side at every moment of my day, not just at fancy rich parties, but by my side when i wake up to find you curled up in the sheets,  when I make coffee for us and you scoff at the amount of sugar i put in our latte, when there's something on my cheek during lunch and you offer to kiss it off. when i have trouble sleeping at nights and you offer to cuddle me until i feel safe. when i hate the movie you pick, and doze off with my head of your shoulder. I would always need you. But.. what if.. one day.. we don't need each other anymore?"

"what if one day.. say when you've completed your third year here and get a job in a place far away, away from me, away from us. what if there's no "us" anymore? what if you find someone better? what if one day, i end up badly heartbroken, if you ever do so? better keep my distance to lessen the pain, isnt it? Im replaceable, after all."

She couldn't believe the words he said, the feelings he was going through. She felt more horrible than ever for lashing out at him when he felt all of this.

She held his hand, and guided him to one of the beds.  they sat down together,  with her head on his shoulders. Tonight, roles were reversed, she was the one comforting him.

"I didn't know you felt all of this, and im sorry that I misjudged your behaviour."

she rubbed his arms, soothingly and continued,

"I dont know how to tell you this, but i can never go away from you, ever. for physically we may be apart but emotionally and mentally,  i find my home and my residence in your heart. I just-"

she took a deep breath.

"I just love you so much. I dont want you to drift apart from me. and from us. I maybe  a doctor and such sentimental stuff may sound crazy, coming outta my mouth but, I just want to make one thing clear."

she carefully removed her head from his shoulders and turned to look at him.

"Dr. Bryce Lahela, your name is engraved in my every heartbeat. Other people may try to change it, but I know they're gonna fail, as I don't love anyone else apart from you. Do i make this clear?"

Bryce's lips curled into his classic beautiful smile as he started to speak, but Theia cut him off.

"and you better not call yourself replaceable next time, or im gonna punch you so hard."

she playfully punched him, earning a hearty laugh from him.

"Now, now Valentine, would you give me the mic to talk?"

She nodded and he continued.

"I don't think I expected a love confession to be in the very room we hooked up, ans honestly its kind of iconic, though i expected a few roses and all that glam..."

".. but you're enough to make my heart leap with joy. No roses needed, no chocolates required."

he took a moment to choose his words,

"I may be good at giving prep talks and all that stuff, but wow, I suck at this. Its probably cause i never did this before.. so let me get to it.. I love you too, Theia."

Theia crashed her lips into his for a fulfilling kiss as they both shared tears of joy,  finally confessing their love after 2 years of pure longing and messing around.

"Whew, who thought these simple 4-5 words would be so hard to say?"

She simply nodded as she wrapped her hands around his for those precious moments of bliss and joy.

yes, the walls, the beds, the room and the infrastructure around them changed, but they were still the same 2 people as from before,  with the same love and feelings in their heart.

and no amount of change could ever change that.

[rieson]

can i request a scenario for smoker and a fem reader please? she was hostage on a pirate ship until he saved her- only to realize that they were childhood friends/an old crush? bonus points if they cuddle :D THANK YOU SM BTW ILY AND YOUR WRITING !!

hi peyton !! thank you for requesting a scenario, sorry if smoker is ooc in here; i'm still studying his character in-depth! ily and ur writing too!!

Pairing : Captain Smoker ✗ F!Reader

Genre : Fluff, Humor

Content Warning : Strong languange

Word Count : 1,119

─ if one were to ask captain smoker where he would expect to reunite with his childhood friend, he definitely wouldn't have expected to reunite with her here; all chained up and ruined, being a hostage.

"what the fuck [name]?"

HONESTLY, Life was NOT going great for you right now.

Why, you may ask?

Well perhaps you may or may not have accidentally provoked a group of pirates scum that was terrorizing an island; your island to be exact.

You couldn’t just sit there and be a ‘good girl’ who did they take you as?!

You were very much not going to just sit there and let the pirates do whatever they wanted on your island ─ you were strong, you knew you were.

Okay maybe going in to blindly attack them weren’t such a great idea after all.

Listen, you ran out of ideas okay, not everybody can make an efficient plan at the back of their head in a few minutes and under pressure.

Your brain simply just malfunctioned under pressure, it wasn't your fault !

And now, here you are; all chained up in some stinky cell with half of your clothes ripped up ─ Oh is that mashed potato on the floor?

Honestly, times like these makes you reminisce on the past; if you did die here; at least you did some good deeds in the past,,, right?

Now that you think about it…. Does trying to cook a meal for the poor count? (keyword; trying) well i guess it did come out all charcoal-y but you fed them! You don't know why they kept avoiding you later on; you were only trying to help them!

Ah.. thinking of the past reminds you of a certain ash haired grumpy child.

You wonder how he’s doing right now─ did he get to achieve his dream by being a marine? Was he still grumpy 24/7? Ah, there’s alot of things that may have changed about him.

Its been years.

                         ────────── 

Smoker was not having a good day today.

Scratch that, everything’s been shit this whole day.

First of all; he just lost track sight of the strawhat pirates (again),

Second; Tashigi kept bugging him, rambling about the strawhat’s swordsman and how ‘He shouldn't treat the Wado Ichimonji carelessly’

Third of all; Apparently, an island near by the ship Smoker was sailing in was currently getting raided by some unnamed pirates, and that's not all.

Someone was dumb enough to provoke the pirates and they ended up being held hostage by said pirates.

“Fucking hell..” Smoker angrily mumbled under his breath as he takes another inhale of the cancer sticks cigarettes.

“They got guts, but why exactly?!” An irk mark appeared on his head.

                         ────────── 

Honestly, you never thought you were never ever gonna play ‘count the sheep’ game in your head when you yourself was probably on the verge of death.

But hey, you learned something new; you could count up to 243 sheeps now ─ that's like, 5 times more than your old record when you were 8!

You mentally give yourself a pat on the back.

You yawn.

It was starting to get really boring in here; your eyelids were dangerously threatening to close any second now, but you werent gonna give in; if you sleep then you’ll get killed and you could not afford that ─ at least that's what books told you.

Now that you think about it, there arent alot of cells in here.

Atleast bring me some jailmates jeez, its starting to get boring with no one here but you and the mashed potato on the floor.

Okay now your eyelids are really threatening to touch

You regret pulling an all nighter yesterday; because you would not be sleepy if you just dragged your ass to bed and get a normal sleep schedule.

Screw me

Drip, Drip.

You hear the sound of water as it drips down the ceilings and cells.

You hear the calm sound of waves as the pirate ship rocked calmly in the ocean.

You hear─

BOOM !

Your eyes snapped open; your body flinching as you were not used to the sound of canons being used.

Wait- Canons?

The realization hits you; is someone gonna rescue me? Holy shit im not gonna die!

Wait, but what if its just another pirate crew!?─

“ITS CAPTAIN SMOKER!” You hear a loud yell outside, followed by a couple of shrieks.

‘Captain smoker?’ You thought as your eyebrows knitted together

‘The name sounds really similar…��

‘Smoker...Smooookerr..’ You test how the name rolled out of your tongue mentally.

As if something finally clicked. “SMOKER!” You exclaimed loudly, a toothy grin unconsciously forming on your face.

Is it the same smoker?

Does he still acts the same as 20 years ago?

Was he still smoking those cancer sticks? Oh god i swear if he still smokes─

Your train of thoughts was interrupted as the door to the cell room was broken down; there now stood a 6’10 muscular shadow at the door.

He mumbled something incoherently that you couldnt hear.

He walks towards you, making his figure known.

He had white-hair and brown-eyes, in his mouth was what was seen as two cigars dangling on his mouth; looking like it was about to fall off soon; but the man seemed to have a good grip on it. He wore a large thick white and blue specialist marine jacket which he keeps open, with greenish fur lining the neck, wrists, and hem. The jacket bears the kanji for "justice" written on the back of it.

The man stared at you.

You blinked.

Once.

Twice.

He stares deep into your [eye colour] orbs, seemingly thinking of something as his eyebrows knitted together.

You smiled warmly at him, “Smokeey!!~”

His face retorted from annoyance ─ relief ─ annoyed with a hint of amusement.

“God, i knew that was you.” He grumbled, seemingly taken aback to meet her here after years of not contacting her’ although if you squint, you can see the corners of his lips twitch upwards.

“Aww, did smokey not miss me?” You pout.

His mouth open and closes, racking his brain for a comeback but you cut him to it;

“Maan, thank god you're here! I was starting to get bored counting sheeps in my head and having a staring contest with a mashed potato─ Oh speaking of the potato, you’re stepping on it” You rambled

Smoker’s face changed to disgust as he looks down to his feet; lifting it up to see if he really did step on a mashed potato that was probably rotten by now.

He narrowed his eyes and directed his gaze at you, “What the fuck [Name]?”

You merely showed him a grin in response.

                         ────────── 

“[Name] please get off and shower first, you fucking stink”

You only snuggled deeper to his chest, “No” and smiled tenderly at the warmth he was radiating.

“[Name] i swear to god”

end

                         ────────── 

[spidey-babe-parker]

Fragile Line

chapter 5:

oh, holding my breath

Inspired: Beauty and the Beast 

Featuring: Bucky Barnes

warnings: angst, tears, sadness, oh and yeah smut happens... finally.

an: So it’s been forever and a day, and I’m sorry about that. There might be one more chapter of this if people like actually want epilogue chapter. Also Infinity War totally didn’t happen in this story for many reasons.

 I’m starting almost done with a Drunk Bucky Barnes college au mini series, that I’m trying to finish so that’s going up soon. Oh and the next next fairy tale inspire story is going to be the modern day little mermaid story with Steve Rogers and Bucky is going to pop up in that.

Series Masterlist: links are broken, the series masterlist is in my masterlist. The link is in the bio.

Lydia listened to what Steve has told her to do. She got down to Amsterdam and checked into a hotel with nothing but her duffle bag and purse. She watched as the feud between Iron Man and Captain America played out in front of the world.

After the constant coverage it got to the point, she couldn’t watch it anymore.

She couldn’t believe all of this seemed to be happening over Bucky. Who was being framed for something he didn’t even do.

She went into to town to find a bookstore so she could find a something to reader to keep herself distracted. She avoided seeing newspapers or watching TV. She didn’t want to read the horrible things that everyone was saying about Bucky Barnes. She saw over and over again he was being referred to as the assassin the Winter Soldier. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that some people considered him to be a killer. The man who rescued her who seemed more afraid of himself didn’t seem like the man who would kill people. She knew he had a dark past but she knew he didn’t have any control over who he was or what he did. He wasn’t the monster they were making him out to be.

It had been two weeks since she last saw Bucky, and she missed him. She missed constantly having him around even if they didn’t talk much. She just felt safe being around him and she like his presence. On the fifteenth day they had been apart she opened the door to her hotel and found a flip phone with a text on it. It simply read “meet me at the café rose at 8:30am”. She didn’t have a doubt in her mind that it was Steve finally coming to let her know she could leave. That night she nervously sat around. She was worried Steve was going to tell her something bad happened to Bucky. That night she didn’t get much sleep, she tossed and turned and a dream about being with Bucky again.

She got dressed and headed into town in the early morning. At eight thirty she walked up to Café Rose to find Steve Rogers sitting outside with a baseball had on and sunglasses. Slowly she walked over and sat down across from him. She could tell something was wrong, he just looked sad.

“Morning,” he softly said.

“Morning,” she replied not exactly what else she should say. She hadn’t ever talked to Steve outside of the time Steve found her in Bucky’s apartment.

“Before you ask, he’s safe and hidden away from everyone,” he looked over at the girl who seemed to be on the verge of tears right in front of him.

She let out a soft sigh and nodded her head knowing that him being hidden away was for the best.

“He’s not hurt at all?” she asked knowing there had been a big fight in an airport in Germany.

Steve sighed and her heart dropped at the thought of him being hurt. “He got pretty beat up and his metal arm gotten taken off.”

She gasped and reached up to cover her mouth. She suddenly wanted to cry at the thought that he lost his arm again. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah he’s fine I took him somewhere where he can get a new arm and he’ll be okay,” Steve sounded so calm and it was making her feel better about the situation.

“Where is he?” she asked.

Steve let out a heavy sigh and looked down at the table that had a coffee sitting in front of him, “Lydia I can’t tell you that unfortunately. I can’t let anyone know where he is. I can only keep him safe if nobody knows where he is.”

She knew he wouldn’t be able to tell her, but there was a part of her that wished he could, “is he still having nightmares?”

He shook his head, “no he won’t anymore. Where we took him, they’re going to fix him and take away what Hydra put in his mind away.”

Her eyes grew wide and started to brim with tears, “please tell me you’re not gonna wipe him.” She felt bile crawl up her throat at just the thought of someone wiping Bucky again, when he was just getting some of his memories back.

Steve’s own blue eye grew wide as he reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers, “oh god no, I will never let that happen to him again.” He paused for a moment. “Were trying to get him back to being normal Bucky. I don’t want them to ever be able to trigger him again.”

She nodded her head trusting Steve. From what she had read in the last two weeks, Steve and Bucky were childhood best friends. She knew that he cared for Bucky as much as her.

“What happens from here?” she asked knowing that Bucky was never going to be in her life again. It was finally time for her to go home to the states for a while. She just needed to hear what Steve thought she should do.

“I’m going to go into hiding and you should probably leave Europe for a little while. If anyone ask about your time in Romania don’t let anyone know you knew who he was.”

“Okay will do.”

-&-

She had been home back in the states for about two months. She moved back into her parent’s house. When she first came home, they asked her loads of questions of about her time in Romania. She didn’t tell them much other than she worked in a café. She worked on restarting her life back in the states. She had just started working at a coffee shop in her town. Her life was simple and she knew that, but since coming home she felt like something was missing. She knew it probably had to do with the fact she never actually got to say goodbye to Bucky. The last time she saw him was the morning in the safe house after they shared a kiss. She had fallen in love with the man that saved her life, and now here she was having to live her life acting as if she had never met him.

She often heard people talking in the coffee shop about Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. Every time she heard Steve’s name, she would help but listen in at the thought that maybe they might mention Bucky. After everything had originally happened Bucky’s picture was plastered across magazines most of them referred to him as the Winter Soldier one of the deadliest assassins to live. It always made her sick to her stomach reading about him, because she knew the Winter Soldier wasn’t truly Bucky. That was who the people who wiped him turned him into. She hated that people didn’t know the Bucky she knew, and they never really would.

Three years later

Sitting in the kitchen at her parent’s house she was listening to her parents talking about her birthday that was tomorrow. She hadn’t even actually thought about her birthday her mind had seemed to be in other places recently.

“What are your birthday plans Lydia?” her mother asked grabbing her attention.

“What?” she looked up from her coffee that was sitting on kitchen table in front of her.

Her mother gave her an unamused look as she knit her eyebrows together, “Lydia have you even been listening to me or your father?”

“Sorry I zoned out,” she picked up the large cup of coffee and brought it up to her lips. Her eye looked at her mother who gently shook her head at her daughter.

“Did you want to have dinner tonight with us?” she asked her daughter.

Nodding her head, she gave her mother a half smile, “yeah I’m going out tonight with some friends and people from work tonight. So, tomorrow is perfect.”

-&-

Walking into the crowed bar with some friends and coworkers, she couldn’t help but wonder if she made a mistake by going out. She wasn’t ever a person who enjoyed going to crowed bars, and she wasn’t sure why she thought going to one with all her friends to celebrate her birthday would be a good idea.

Standing at the bar next to her friend Allie she was listening to her go on and on about her cousin who she thought would be a great match for Lydia. Allie had been a friend of hers since high school, and she was on a mission to find Lydia a man, even though she had told her often she wasn’t interested in dating. Allie like everyone else had no clue about Lydia’s time with Bucky. She just assumed that Lydia didn’t want to take because of her terrible break up before she left to move to Romania.

“Lydia you and Kyle would get along amazing, why do you at least go on one date with him?” Allie asked before taking a sip of her cranberry and vodka.

“Allie I’m not interested in dating,” she sighed looking down at her drink that was sitting on the bar.

“Come on Lydia one date wouldn’t kill you,” Allie wasn’t ready to give up on getting her friend to go out on a date.

“Allie maybe another time,” she picked up her drink and walked over to the table where the rest the group was sitting.

Allie followed behind her friend, and shouted to the group, “someone buy the birthday a shot we need to get her drunk.”

Lydia did nothing but roll her eyes as she sat down at the table. Moments later some of the group were waving down a waitress to order her a couple shots. She groaned as two shots of tequila were sitting in front of her. Taking both shots, she shook her head as the gold colored liquid slid down her throat.

Soon she was being dragged on to the dance for in the corner of the bar and was dancing with some friends. The gold liquid left her feeling slightly tipsy, few people offered to buy her drinks, but she turned them down not wanting to get drunk. As the clock struck midnight, she said her goodbyes to her friends telling them she couldn’t stay out super late because she had family stuff to do the next morning.

Walking outside she hailed a cab. Luckily the bar she was out wasn’t too far from her apartment. The warm feeling of the alcohol flushed through her system as she walked up to the elevator in the lobby of her apartment building. Clicking the button, the doors to the elevator opened and walked inside alone. Leaning against the wall of the elevator she couldn’t help but wonder if she should have maybe stayed at the bar for another hour, but for some reason she wasn’t really in the mood to celebrate her birthday. As the elevator doors opened as stepped out into the hallway. She saw a man in a hoodie standing in front of her door and she suddenly got nervous, she was tempted to go back to the bar instead of walking up to the man. Before she could even decide what to do a familiar face turned and looked at her.

Her heart jumped at the sight of Bucky standing at her door. Her eyes went wide as her eyes locked onto his icy blue ones. Without even thinking she took off running down the hall towards him. The second she got to him she wrapped her arms around him holding his body close to hers. “Bucky,” she muttered as tears started to slide down her face.

“Lydia,” his metal hand rubbed her back holding on to her.

As she held onto him tightly afraid if she let go of him, he would disappear again. Her body shook gently as she held on to him.

Pulling away from him slowly she looked up at him with watery eyes. She was still in a state of disbelief that Bucky was standing in the hallway in front of her apartment. She reached up placed her hand on his scruff covered cheek. A soft smile formed on his lips as his blue eyes stayed lock onto her eyes.

They hadn’t said a single word to each other, other then their names. She still seemed to be in a state of disbelief that she was with Bucky again, and he was shocked that she wasn’t mad at him for leaving her.

Leaning down he rested his forehead against her taking in her presence.

She wasn’t even sure what she should say to him right then. She had no clue where he had been for the last three years, and even though she thought about him often. She was constantly trying to remind herself that most likely she was never going to get to reunite with the man standing in front of her.

“I’m sorry I left you and never said goodbye,” he whispered breaking the silence that was between them.

She closed her eyes pushing back the tears that had formed between them. Reaching up he rested his hand on her cheek, and his thumb reached up an brushed the tears off her cheek.

“You didn’t have choice,” she said softly.

“Can we maybe go inside and talk?” he asked pulling away from her.

Nodding her head, she reached into her purse to pull out her keys. Bucky took another step away so she could the door. Walking side she set her purse on the floor and walked over to the couch in the living room. Bucky followed behind her and sat down on the couch next to her.

They stared at each other for a long moment neither of them exactly sure what they should say to each other. She reached over and rested her hand on thigh, and gave him a soft smile.

“I’m assuming you have a lot of questions,” he said softly knowing that three years had passed since they had seen each other and she had to have some questions.

“How did you find me?”

“Steve tracked you down for me,” he reached over and rested his hand on top of hers and gently squeezed her hand.

At the mention of Steve’s name, she couldn’t help but wonder if Steve had told Bucky that she thought she loved him all those years ago. She couldn’t lie that even with three years passing she was pretty sure she loved the man that was sitting next to her.

“Did he tell you that he met up with me after Germany?”

He nodded his head, “I asked him to make sure you were safe. I had him check on you occasionally.”

She nodded her head not exactly sure what else she should ask him, she was still completely blown away by the fact that she was seeing him again. “Are you still having nightmares?”

He shook his head, “no, they were finally able to take away what Hydra put in me.”

He gave her a gentle half smile that suddenly gave her butterflies.

“This might embarrass me, but did Steve possibly tell you how I felt about you?” her heart raced at the thought of Bucky rejecting her feeling she felt for him three years ago, especially since she still had those feelings.

Slowly he nodded his head, “he told me about them a little while ago. He also made sure to bring you up often. He knew you were one of the only real things in my life in the last seventy years.”

Tears started to slide down her cheek slowly, “when he found me that day, I honestly thought I was never going to see you again. We had shared that kiss that morning and I thought things were getting better for you…” she paused for a moment reliving that morning. “I should over never ask for you to go out and get fruit. We might have had more time together,” she couldn’t help but cry feeling suddenly guilty.

“Hey,” he reached up placing his hand on her cheek so she was looking up at him. “We were living on borrowed time. If I didn’t go out that morning, I was eventually going to go out again, they were going to find me at some point. I’m just glad that Steve found you and not someone else.”

She nodded her head and asked him the one thing she needed to know in that moment, “are we on borrowed time right now?”

He shook his head, “no I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to.”

“Okay good because I’m not ready to lose you again.”

“Lydia, just so you know, I felt the same way you did back then.”

She couldn’t help but smile. Reaching up she placed her hand on his wrist that was resting on her cheek, “do you still have those feelings?”

She needed to know, even if he didn’t it wouldn’t change how she felt then or now.

He nodded his head, “you’re still the realest thing that has ever been in my life.”

“That makes me feel better knowing that I’m the only one with those feelings,” she said softly causing him to smile.

“Are you single?” he asked completely out of nowhere.

Her brows furrowed together as she gave him a confused look, “yes, why?”

“Because I would like to kiss you again, but I want to make sure you’re not taken.”

Her eyes lit up at the thought of them sharing another kiss. “I would love for you to kiss me.”

Without another word he leaned forward and connected his lips to hers for a gentle kiss. His lips moved against hers slowly as if he was testing the waters. Pulling away from her he couldn’t help but smile, he had waited a long time before he was able to see her again, and here he was being able to kiss her again.

“I have missed you so much,” she whispered.

“I missed you too, I know I have been gone for a while, but they fixed me.”

Even though they had taken out what Hydra put in him, Bucky was still left with what he had done under his control. He felt a substantial amount of guilt for the people he had hurt because of Hydra.

“Why does it sound like you don’t feel like you’re fully fix?” she asked knowing that by his tone he still sounded guilty.

“I will never be able to forget what I did because of them. Even being wiped I’m still left with the memories are coming back,” he sighed.

“Hey, we’ve been over this, you weren’t in control you aren’t a monster. You didn’t do those things,” she sighed shaking her head.

“I know, that’s what Steve reminds me of all the time.”

“Bucky what happens now?” she asked needing to know if eventually he was going to leave again.

“I don’t exactly have a plan, I asked Steve to track you down. I told him I needed to see you, I wasn’t sure if you had a boyfriend or something, but needed to see you again.”

She smiled, “I’m glad you tracked me down, because in the last three year I have thought about you often.”

He reached up and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and asked, “where were you tonight?”

She let out a heavy sigh, “I went to the bar with some friends to celebrate my birthday.”

His eyes went wide at the mention of her birthday, “it’s your birthday?”

She smirked at how caught off guard he sounded, “well technically since it’s after midnight yes it’s my birthday.”

“I wish Steve would have told me that I would of brought you a gift,” he sighed feeling suddenly stupid that he didn’t know this information.

“I don’t really need a gift. See you again is enough,” she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his again for a soft kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him close to her, she didn’t think she would get over the fact that she was able to kiss him again. Pulling away from him she looked over at the clock to see that it was one in the morning. “Did you maybe want to stay the night? It’s late and I’m exhausted, but I’m not ready for you to leave again.”

He nodded his head, he couldn’t lie he thought about the nights he shared wrapped up in her arm held close against her curvy body.

“I would really like to stay the night.”

Standing up she reached over and laced her fingers with Bucky metal fingers and led him down the hallway towards her bedroom. She dropped his hand and walked towards her dresser to grab her pajamas.

“You can sleep how ever you want. If you want to sleep in your boxers,” she as she walked towards the bathroom so she could take off her makeup and get ready for bed.

She removed her make up and washed her face and changed into her pajamas. Walking back into her bedroom she found Bucky sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but his boxers. Walking over to him she moved to stand in front of him, he looked up and smiled at her. He never in his wildest dreams thought he would see her again, let alone get to share a bed with her again. Reaching up he gently took her hand and pulled her closer to him. Standing up he moved to press her lips to his for another kiss.

“How are you even real?” he asked wondering how he found her.

“I’m pretty average at most,” she whispered as his hands moved to her round hips.

He shook his, “you are far from average Lydia. You are perfect.”

Before she could even say anything sat back down on the bed and pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him as he sat on the edge of the bed. Reaching up he held her face in both hands staring at her.

“I don’t know what happens tomorrow, for all I know you could kick me out and tell me to leave…” he paused for a moment to stare into her eyes. “But I would love to share one real night with you.”

“Bucky I would never kick you out and tell you to leave,” she leaned down and connected her lips to his for an intense kiss. Their lips moved together as if they need the other to breathe. Her fingers tangled in his long hair hold him close to her as his hand gripped her round hips grinding her against him. There tongued moved together as she rolled her hips gently against him. His lips moved from her mouth and started kissing down her jaw. As his beard tickled her skin, she couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of his lips against her skin. His metal hand pushed her shirt up exposing the metal of his touch to her bare skin. The cool metal sent a shiver down her spine in the best way possible. Tilting her head back she gave him more access to her exposed skin.

Pulling his lips away from her skin he reached down for the bottom of her shirt. Pulling it off he couldn’t help but groan at the sight of her bare chest in front of her. He licked his lips before his lips moved to kiss her collarbones, before working his way to her bare chest. His lips kissed her sensitive skin as she grinded her hips against his grown bugled.

“Bucky, I need more,” she moaned.

With his lips ghosting her skin he spoke, “I didn’t come to see you with the intention of this happening.”

“I know you didn’t, but I need all of you,” she sighed as his lips peppered kisses across her skin. “I have missed you so much, and I just need all of you.”

He pulled his lips away from her skin, and in one quick motion stood up holding Lydia’s curvy body as if she weighed nothing. Her eyes went wide as he held onto her. She attempted to have him put her down but before she could say something he said, “you weigh nothing to me, quit freaking out.”

He moved and laid her down on the bed. Reaching up to her curvy hips he hooked his fingers into the band of her pajama shorts and panties, and pulled them both down in one quick motion. Laying on the bed completely naked in front of him she sat back on her elbows and watched as Bucky removed his boxers leaving him naked and proud in front of her.

“Do you have a condom?” he asked sounding slightly nervous.

Nodding her head, she moved to reach into the top drawer of her nightstand and pulled out a foil packet. Holding the foil packet out Bucky took it and tore it open and slowly slid the rubbed down his length. She watched with lust filled eyes as he pumped his length a few times before crawled into the bed. Lying next to her he connected his lips to hers for a searing kiss as his flesh hand moved down to her sensitive mound, his finger slid up and down for slit a few times before his fingers did lazy circle on her bundle of nerves while their lips moved together. He was attempting to give her some foreplay before. Pulling his lips away he continued to move his finger against her bundle of nerves causing to moan her name.

“Lydia what to you want?” he asked lying next to her.

“All of you,” she moaned.

Pulling his fingers away from her, he moved so he was hovering over her. She reached down and helped line him up with her entrance. Slowly he slid in and she gasped at his size, it had a been a really long time since she had sex. She was going to need a moment to adjust to his size. Once he was fulling in, he stilled for a moment giving her time to adjust. Her head rolled back as she took a deep breath and then looked up at Bucky who was staring out with lust blown eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked feeling suddenly worried at the was hurting her.

“Yeah I’m fine, I just need a moment,” she said giving him a soft smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers for a soft kiss. “Go head and move,” she said with his lips still brushing hers.

With a slowly roll he started to move his hips against hers. Her hands moved up to grip his back as he continued to move into her. Groaned as his hips thrust into hers picking up the pace slightly. In all the time that had passed since they had last seen each other, he didn’t think he would ever get to be with her. In his mind back then he thought that they might event sleep together, especially after they had kiss, but then again, he wasn’t sure if she ever would want to do this with him.

“Bucky,” she moaned.

“Baby,” he groaned dropping his head to her shoulder. He started placing wet kisses across her bare skin. She moved her hands down to his butt pulling him as close as possible with every thrust. His teeth gently dragged across the skin of her shoulder as he moaned her name. He was getting close to the edge and he needed her to finish before him.

“Are you close?” he asked.

“Yeah Bucky,” she moaned as he picked up the pace.

Biting her bottom lip, she rolled her back moaning. Her fingers dug into his tone butt pulling him closer. With a few more thrust he pushed her over the edge. Her hands moved from his but up to his face pulling him closer to her so she could kiss him as she rode out her high. She moaned into his kiss as he rolled his hips a few times before hitting his own high. With a couple sloppy thrust he rode out his high before stilling his hips as he kissed. Pulling away from her he rolled off her and laid on the bed next to her. Silently he discarded the condom, and reached over to pulled her curvy body close to him.

She was left in a dazed state as she curled up next to him.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” she whispered as she was coming down from her high.

“I won’t ever let anything take me away from you again,” he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

All my taglist are open. Let me know if you want to be tagged in the Steve Little Mermaid Modern day AU story.

@thisismysecrethappyplace @minahraven @lokilvrr @justreadingthesefanfics @inmyworstlies @shlach @imanaesir @theinsomniacsblog @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel  @acebelle @nerd-without-a-cause @captain-rogers-neighborhood @sadancing @theonelittleone @all-of-the-little-infinites @thepandadrawer @hermione0919 @tnupsweetpie  @learisa @kgcurtis30 @alwaysbandslut @ruckystarnes @sarahsassafras13 @jessicao19 @breezy1415 @violetrose90201 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @iamthemaskhewears @lapels123  @explorer–of–the–unknownn @coal000 @thorsstorms @libbymouse @asadmarveltrashbag

[almostdeaddepression]

This is the start of something NEW

So ive decided to start a blog as sort of a diary of sorts. I dont plan on telling anyone about it, simply because its my diary and im using this as a sort of venting technique. Basically..... I am 22 and my depression is taking over my soul. I walk through life as a shell of my former self. I used to be outgoing, had many friends, always down to go out and have a good time. I was the picturesque version of myself, a true extrovert. I was energized about just the thought of going out and seeing the world, now however, i would rather sleep 20 hours a day and stay at home. I have to trick myself to shower most days and i can go several days without showering. I constantly feel like im on the verge of crying and collapsing into a pile on the floor. Ive always been “fat” but ive gained so much weight in the past few months that my belly now hangs so low it covers my pubic region. My acne has come back with a force. And im generally very unattractive.

Im not sure what compelled me to start a blog, ive just been in a situation where if i don’t do something soon to kind of let things out I might just end up in a very dark place. I feel as though my life has fallen to the lowest point it has ever been. 

recently, my life has drastically changed. I was living in a nice house with a majority of my bills paid for by my father. I lived with my sister and our two cats and two dogs. It was an arrangement that my father had made for my sister and I while we completed college. Although i know i was lucky I took complete advantage of my situation, I also worked a part time job to pay for the little bills I did actually have, And on a real note, i LOVE my job. I truly do its easy and fun and i get to work in the media. It was a GREAT situation. However, things changed.

My sister moved her boyfriend into our home. This boy shes known for less than a year is now her “fiance” and he absolutely ruined the relationship between my sister and I. We went from being the best of friends to the absolute picture of enemies. we would fight on the daily. And with him moving in, I became a stranger in my own home. I believe this is when the depression really Started. But, this part of my story will, im sure, be elaborated on in the future, 

Because of this boy my father kicked me out of my home. I had recently gone on vacation and did not recieve a paycheck because of my time away. I had less than a week to find a new home for not only me but my cat and dog. I opted to live with a friend and moved out within three days, I was left with essentially nothing. No car, no phone, no place to live. And my family felt nothing. they cut contact with me. my only two family members for thousands of miles. I moved into a friends basement. her unfinished, dirty, prone to flooding, leaking, basement simply because she had a yard for my dog. I made it work, but i couldn't afford it, $300 a month for rent and pet fee. and to put it into perspective, i make about $300 a month at my job, not that it doesnt pay decently, i just do not get hours, My father left me. abandoned me. I couldnt continue school because he was paying for it. 

My life was a blessing and i was extremely appreciatiative for everything my father did for me. i called him and told him often. but i was essentially stranded. my Grandmother sent me a check for two months rent, a pet deposit, and enough for two weeks groceries and a uhaul rental. I now live in a dark basemet with just an uncovered lightbulb for light. I did it for my pets. 

I am depressed. Ive applied for other jobs to help pay for bills, and i mean ive really REALLY applied for jobs. in the past month ive probably applied for 20+ jobs online and in person. ive asked for more hours. And with each failure I feel myself going deeper and deeper into my depression. I feel myself being engulfed in, not quite saddness, just emptiness. I no longer recognize who I am anymore. I think about suicide as a way out often. I wonder what it would be like if I owned a gun. I think about how many pills it would take to knock me out forever. I wonder what would happen if I ran into traffic, or ran away from it all. Really, the only thing keeping me here is the thought that if I die.... where would my pets go? Also im sure im too chickenshit to go through with it. I wouldnt consider myself to be religious but growing up religious, you always have that small inkling in the back of your mind that maybe God does exist. Ive prayed. so much. because i just dont know what else to do. I wouldnt say i want to kill myself, but im suicidal. 

Ive reached out to friends, ive had a therapist at one point but i can no longer afford it. and my friends see im no longer the person I was. they no longer invite me out. Im no longer the person i was and that makes me less fun to hang out with. I sleep all the time. i will lay in ed for hours thinking about how much id just not like to be here. Ive worn a ring my grandmother bought me for the past month and i wonder if somehow this ring is cursed? I hate myself. I hate everything i am. i hate who ive become. 

I’m not looking for sympathy. im not looking for a way out. I’m just looking for somewhere to vent because honestly i feel like i might have a breakdown if I dont. Again, I intend to use this blog as sort of a diary of my life and what im feeling. Posting it in hopes that someone might relate and feel like things aernt as strange or uncommon. Id also be happy if nobody read this.I am one of those people that is here for everyone if they need to talk, but i feel like im drowning in a pit of darkness and solitude myself. This is my story. the raw, real, truth. This is my blog, my true, unfiltered feelings and emotions. my short escape from depression and solitude. This is my life. ... to be continued.

[fluffytoast101]

!"kids please! i need everyone to calm down and ask your questions one at a time!" David stopped the kids from talking all at the same time. “I thought the fund raiser was a success! If we need money why dont the quartermaster just beat you guys up again!” Harrison stated while Malva was nodding “It actaully isnt a bad idea!”

-small time skip bcs i dont want to rewrite every line of dialog-

“does that mean.. we all have to split up?” Nikki asked with sadness in her voice. Everyone looked around at eachother with sad expressions.

“Hi Max. Its been a few days.. Have you made your descsion yet? Wich camp do you wanna go to? Vera is still.. Mad about the uhm.. events if you were wondering..” David asked the sad boy who was carrying a bunch of regret. “Im still thinking.” He answerd quickly turning the other way. “Come on Max.. i know its been hard especially since Neil, Nikki-” Max remeberd their faces filled with rage and sadness. He even brought Malva to tears. “God damn! Dont you have counsler counsling to prep for or something?! Just leave me alone!” He cut David off and walked away.

“I cant belive im saying this but.. I dont know if i wanna go to science camp!” Neil said looking at his friends, looking a little longer at Malva. “Yeah! What fun is adventuring without you guys!” Nikki joined in. “I just want things to be back to normal!” Vera continued. “I just want to be able to enjoy my summer. dosnt really help that my uh... lady problems...? are hittting in strong!” Malva ended it. “Max what do we do?!” Neil desperatly asked max his eyes getting glossy. Max was doing something on davids phone and didnt pay attention to the others. “Max?” Nikki asked once again also tearing up. “Huh? Are you guys still fraking out about this? Whats your problem?” Max rudely said turning away from the phone. “Our problem?” Neil questioned Max’s rude comment. “damnit..” Malva mumbled under her breath on the verge of tears. “i dont wanna say goodbye yet! You guys are my friends!” Nikki frowned. “Yea Max. Wtf” Vera questioned Max aswell seeing him brining Malva on the verge of tears.”were like a wolf pack!” Nikki said with a slight smile. Neil chimed in “Or a team of scientists (somthing) doing a new study!” “Or a wolf pack!” Nikki obviously liked her idea better.  “Jesus guys. Grow up! Did you think summer was gonna last forever? It was always gonna end this way! Camp campbell comes to a close, you get sent home, you move on with your lives.” Max said doing something on the phone once again, looking up from it at the end. “Look, we had a good run! But we were temporally friends at best!” Max ended it. The small group of friends looked at him in schock turning into rage or sadness. “oh...” Nikki said looking down. Malva silently started crying trying to make it stop while hugging herself. Vera looked angry with a mix of sadness and confusion. Neil started speaking. “Really?! THATS all we are to YOU?” He said in pure frustration. “Fucking hell Max! I know your meant to be rude or something but thats just messed up!” Vera said slightly motioning to malva who was still silently crying looking down. Max felt the regret hit his body. “I mean.. Look Neil-” He started scratching the back of his neck.”Nonono you’re right! Why would someone like you need a friend?! You were fine on your own before we showed up!” Neil looked down then turning his gaze to malva and back up again. “You’ll be fine once were gone.” Neil walked off into the bus. “Nikki come on! You get it, right?” Max asked Nikki. Nikkis face turned into anger. “Bye Max” She said walking into the bus aswell. “Malva?” Max looked at the girl who looked up from the ground showing red puffy eyes. She quickly hugged Vera before walking into the bus the doors closing behind her. Max looked at Vera with regeret but she just flipped him off and walked back into camp.

- time skip,, again.. bcs... yeah...-

“Happy reunion?”

-Ok time skip again. brining thr camp back togheter burning camps 3 more left to pick up-

“thats... Almost everyone!” Max looked up from the clip bord in his hands with a smile. “Phew... this has been a eventful day!” Vera smiled at Max. “Just 3 names left!” David happily said. Max felt the regret come back again. “Yeah. i wonder how they are doing..” Vera said thinking about what Malva had told her in the past about her fear and how it keeps her up at night crying. She slightly frowned. “You know my favorite part is the look on the counslers faces when you mention the test Davey! Their all like ‘whoa what!?’“

- yet another time skip -

“Yeah thats the other thing... they are actually.. here” Gwen said looking over to the room where the three kids sat looking upset or jus scared. “Here at camp core we dislike using the phrase ‘trouble makers’ and uh..” The old man looked at Malva. “I dont know what to call your situation... uhm. well get back to that later. Anyways as i said we dont like to use the term ‘trouble makers’” “We prefer children in need of love. And young lady you need to get sleep.” The old lady said looking at Malva. She looked up from her knees (she was hugging her legs in her chair ya’know?) with dark cicles under her eyes that were also red and puffy. “I know that youve been.. up from the past 5 nights crying.” Neil and Nikki looked at Malva with sorrow and Neil reached out for her hand giving it a tight squeeze. He returned to his angry expression while still holding her hand. Nikki returned to her angry expression aswell. “Based on your recent behavior blah blah”

-time skip til’ gwen comes in-

“Thank godness for that duel major in sike! Am i right? Why dont you two get out of here while i chat with these little rascals!” Gwen bursted into the room while the owners left. She quickly closed the door and looked at the kids infront of her. “Lets get the fuck out of here.” She said dramatically.

“And then Nancy was like ‘whos an idiot?’ and i told her to mind her own fUCKING BUISNESS!” Gwen said while staning in the elavator with the 3 kids, Malva and Neil still holding hands. “Personally. Thats when i would have started with the biting.” Nikki proudly said. “Waitwaitwait! Can you go back for a second? Were getting the camp back?!” Neil looked suprised. Gwen looked at him with a smile and calm expression. “Oh. Yeah. And everybody is here.” Gwen simply said. Neil, Nikki and Malva looked at eachother with unease. “Everybody?” Neil and Nikki said in unsion while Malva continued to be quiet.

“Heeeey! Long time no see!” Max said while holding up his hand for a high five. Neil and Nikki looked unipressed while Malva still looked sad. Vera quickly ran up to her brining her into a hug. “Heard you all started a bit of mayhem at your camps? Guess im rubbing off on you.” He nudged Nikki. “If you use mayehem to describe putting someone in an emotional state making them stay up for 5 nights crying!” Neil said grabbing Malvas hand again.. just bcs it felt right. Vera let go of Malva and looked at her with sympathy. “Oh look its the temporally friend of ours!” Neil continued. “Yes, the friend that isnt permanent.” Nikki joined in. “Come on guys! Things are gonna go back to the way they were. I promise! Ive got a plan!” Max tried to convince them. “Interesting. I figured you would have moved on with your life right now.” Neil sarcastically said. “I will aslo add a sarcastic remark as soon as i can think of one.” Nikki said. “Oh my! David and Gwen blah bLAHBALH FUCKING BLAH BCS MORE -TIME SKIP BITCH DEAL WITH IT.-

“Im. Im sorry. I didnt go thru all this trouble for camp campbell.. I did it.. for you guys.” Max said. Malva softend up a bit. “You guys are my friends.. And i just didnt want to admit it. Just once the time actually got to say goodbye.. i had something to lose! Well you know... trying to go thru life alone seems pretty fucking stupid know.” They all turned and looked at cameron campbell. “Oh what?! Am i supposed to be the big bad example here?!” He said. “We did everything we said out to do by doing it togheter. and had a little fun while doing so! But everything fell apart when you pushed it away..” David confronted Campbell. “Well yea! But i won!” He defended himself. “Won what exactly?” Gwen said unimpressed. “I got my life back!I can leave this country behind and leave everything behind! just not thailand... or russia.. burned all the bridges with north korea..” He scratched his chin. “With all that money you can just buy some new friends who will eventually hate your guts too” Max stated. “Well i- uh-” Cmeron was lost of words.

“Well *sigh* i guess this is goodbye.” Max said turning to his friends. “I just wanted you to know... Ill miss you!” Nikki smiled and Neil looked suprised. Malva gave a small smile and looked at him. Vera looked proud that he actually said something nice for once. “And im sorry we couldnt be friend for longer..” Max continued rubbing his shoulder. “Dont be such a dummy Max!” Nikki started. “Yeah! We might never see eachother again, but we’ll always be friends.” Neil continued. “Oh and i snuck my phone with me *cough* so ican just give you all my number and just msg me so can we have a group chat!” Malva said with a raspy smile and a toothy grin. “Hell yeah! See we sont lose contact!” Vera slightly nudged Malvas shoulder as she wrote donw her number 3 times on a piece of paper. “Awwwwwww.” The older ones said. “Group hug!” Dolph said and David ran and hugged Gwen, Max, Vera, Malva, Neil and Nikki. Until they heard a bus driving off. “Campbells gone.” QM said and pointed outside. They all watched him drive off. “Wow that typical.” Ered said.  Davids phone started ringing that Max had in his pocket. “Uhm David. Your phone.” Max said and handed the phone to David.

-Blah Campbell has a speech or whatever hh-

-They have an adorable ass water gun fight and everyones happy running around-

- Campbell comes.-

“You will now be taking orders from him” Mr. Miller pointed at David. Evryone turned to David. “Now its perfect!” David said acomplished. “Welcome to camp, asshole!” Max said crossing his arms. “OUR camp, asshole!” Vera joined in and put her hand on Max’s shoulder in a sassy kin of way. Max looked at her with a tint of blush but she just winked >;3c

They all turned and did their own thing until only the group of 5 was left in front of the mess hall. Malva gave Neil a quick peck on the cheek before running off to god nows where neils face turning red. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!” Vera fangirled and they laughed at Neils blushing madness. Okay bye

[offshore-defxxx]

Jaebeom stares at the card in his hands and then up to the looming building in front of him. He glances back down at the card one last time before letting out a heavy sigh.

"Here we go I guess"

He pushes on the door that clearly says PULL and already is regretting his decision to come to this place. 

Jackson raved about the man Jaebeom was seeking out.

"Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it, - he's all those things, but actually he's a good fucking person."

Although Jaebeom was completely sure Jackson was quoting Lady Gaga and not actually listening to him when he approached Jackson about his present dilemma.

The building smelled like old people and wet dog much to Jaebeom chagrin. He's allergic to dogs.

Which he only found out because Youngjae and Mark had secretly rescued a stray and brought it back home to "foster". And every time a potential forever family showed up to adopt the pup Youngjae's eyes would well up and he immediately deemed the potential adopters not a good fit.

Jaebeom's eyes start to itch recalling the memory as he pressed for the seventh floor after he entered the elevator.

he hums along to the familiar elevator music...

ma bon sawan chan jed

la mai mee huai bon din ttai

din taeng yang ngai kor oork tuk rrrai

The elevator dings just as the next song begins to start with the low whirl of sirens.

Jaebeom exits the elevator and instinctively turns right. He stops and back tracks realizing he wasnt sure he was even going in the right direction until a loud crash interrupts his thoughts.

"but you SAAIIIDDDD YOU COULD DO IT. YOU PROMISED!!!!"

The voice was whiny and the person behind it sounded like they were on the verge of tears. A giant wet sniff confirmed this.

The door Jaebeom stopped in front of was half way open where the origin of the sound came from. Both the crash and the whiny voice. He peeked in.

"Yugyeom," another man said in an exasperated voice, "adults say they promise things all the time. It's a lie. Everything you know about life IS A LIE. Just like Santa Claus isnt real! You're almost 21! Come on man!"

The source of the whiny voice, Yugueom, squeaked out a gasp and then let out a visceral cry. Even Jaebeom could tell the news he has just heard was a shock to him. He almost felt bad for the guy. 21, and still believed in Santa Claus.

Jaebeom was too caught up in the life changing revelation he had just witnessed and didnt notice someone squatting next to him.

"Really, Santa Claus? --"

"OH MY GOD" Jaebeom falls back and clutches his heart in surprise.

"Poor guy. Last week I had someone in here who was convinced he had the worlds strongest thighs. His reaction when he found out it wasnt true was about the same though."

The man pursued his lips and stared concerningly at the situation in front of them. Jaebeom could only stare at the strange man. And also realized he was talking about Jackson. Which meant -

"I'm Jinyoung by the way. Park Jinyoung. Nice to meet you. Are you here for a consultation?"

He stood as he extended his hand to Jaebeom. Scrambling to his feet Jaebeom stood up and introduced himself.

"Im Jaebeom. I heard you might be able to help me." He shook Jinyoung's hand quickly.

Without another word Jinyoung all but waltz into the chaotic room with the two men crying and yelling. Immediately the two stopped and turned to the door.

"JINYOUNGGGGGGG!!!" Yugyeom, who was tall and had fluffy hair let out first.

"Bambam said Santa Claus ISNT REAL." He said between sniffs. Bambam simply groans at this and sits in a random office chair that rolled near by.

"Have a seat." Jinyoung gestures to a lounge chair ignoring Yugyeom. Jaebeom was sure the chair wasnt there before.

"So, what can I help you with Jaebeom?" Jinyoung says as a rolling cart of coffee, tea, and light pastries arrived next to the table Jinyoung was standing by.

He couldnt believe what was going on. His eyes stared around the room as he noticed books, office supplies, file cases, and Yugyeom??! floated through the air to what Jaebeom could only guess was their rightful places.

"The room is... cleaning itself up??" Jaebeom thought to himself.

"Of course not. Its magic." Jinyoung quipped back as he settled behind the desk. "Tea?"

"Can you read minds too?!" Jaebeom looked wide eyed at Jinyoung who returned his gaze with a confused look.

"You said that outloud."

Jaebeom's face turned beet red. Whatever this place was was making his head spin. He needed to see if this guy could help him or not so he could get the hell out of there.

Jaebeom froze when he realized what he had to do next. He could feel his palms were sweaty and felt like he was gonna throw up last nights spaghetti dinner. The blood rushed to his ears muffling the sound of Jinyoung talking.

"Jaebeom? Hello? Hel~LO" Waving his hands in front of his face. Jinyoung pursed his lips again confused at the development.

"May --"

Jaebeom rips off his bucket hat with a loud grunt revealing the shinest bald head top Jinyoung had seen in his life.

"Whoa. His bald spot is brighter than Yugyeom's future." Bambam said from across the room. Jinyoung shushed him. Sensing the tension Jaebeom must have been feeling.

Jaebeom finally looks up at Jinyoung with tears threatening to waterfall from his eyes.

"I'm- going... BALD. I'm only 25! Ive tried every thing. Creams. Shampoo. Diets. Genetic testing. Home remedies. EVERYTHING man!! Can you... please help me?" The words came rushing out of Jaebeom's mouth and Jinyoung only barely understood him.

Indeed. Jinyoung had never been approached with this kind of problem before. He wasnt sure if he could help. He stared at Jaebeom. And his shiny bald top. And back to Jaebeom. He knew he had to help.

Before Jaebeom could respond Yugyeom and Bambam grabbed Jaebeom by his limbs and held him back as Jinyoung slapped on a pair of latex gloves.

"Jaebeom ah. This is the only way I can help you."

Jaebeom tried to scream but no sound came out. He struggled against Yugyeom and Bambam's restraints knowing he should have been able to throw the off of him. Jinyoung approached him ominously with a scalpel in his hands. Jaebeom felt his eyes bulge out of his head as he tried helplessly again to scream.

Jinyoung's cool latex covered hand set on his head and Jaebeom squeezed his eyes shut not wanting to feel what happens next.

"WAKE UP MAN. COME ON. ITs 1:31 AM. WAKE THE FUCK UP" It was Jackson.

Jaebeom was still screaming when Jackson slapped him in the face.

"Are you okay?"

Jaebeom turns to see Jinyoung on his other side looking on at him worried.

Jaebeom reaches for the top of his head to feel it.

Hair. No bald spot.

Just wonderfully color dyed hair. He rubbed and pulled the top of his head and laughed.

Yugyeom, Bambam, Youngjae, Jackson, and Jinyoung all looked around the room at each other and to Jaebeom with confused looks on their faces.

"He's gone crazy. I'm going back to bed."

"Me too!"

Yugyeom and Bambam turn to leave. "I'm surprised Mark could sleep through his screaming." "You know Mark, he could sleep through a hurricane." They said to each other as they leave.

Jaebeom still had both hands running through his full head of hair when he let our a sigh of relief.

The remaining members let out a defeated sigh and smiled at jaebeom.

"Thank god it was just a dream."