#i had the same thought teeheehee

[catsteeth]

The Caged Bird & The Leashed Dog

Sandor Clegane x reader

+:✿ Chapter - 7 ✿:+ Fork In The Road.

1-2-3-4-5-6-_-8

Summary: You are the daughter of Jon Arryn, you and your father travel to King's Landing with the intention of arranging a marriage for you. You catch a glimpse of The Hound during your first night in Kings Landing and it creates a mutual fascination even if he won't admit it. 

CW: SMUT MDNI, afab reader, cock warming, P in V sex, unprotected sex (Wrap it up), Fem Dom (if you squint), VIOLENCE, misogyny, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, mention of death, blood, threats of violence, mentions of arranged marriage, 

A/N: this was part of a much longer chapter so the next chapter should come out pretty soon too teeheehee. 

Word Count: 4437

You remembered the first night at kings landing alone. without your fathers protection, you missed, no matter how futile it might have been. 

you wanted to scream and cry “father keep me, father stay with me, father hold me” but you couldn’t. you couldn’t make a sound. you felt numb, if someone had sliced your hand open with a blade you’d not have noticed. sometimes tears would fall from your eyes straight into the ground and you’d not even noticed you were tearing up. 

that’s the hardest part of being so hard was that when you cracked it shattered more than you noticed. more than you’d be comfortable admitting even to yourself. 

when you mother and brother died your father feared you’d be turn mute for good. 

that’s what intrigued Sandor most. 

you suffered silently. you suffered with expertise. 

once he’d known your heart. your loyalty, devotion, and your fearlessness was when his fascination turned into something deeper. He thought it was obsession and maybe it was, but it was more personal than that too. Poets would call it love. He’d call it nothing. He’d never spoken of it therefore it had no language. It was just what he felt, he knew he cared that was it and that was all he’d admit. 

A day had past since your escape. You both were hungry, he especially. 

You were beginning to enjoy the freedom that came with this new way of life, however. There were downsides. The constant exposure to the elements, the lack of food, hot water, and the lingering fear. Fear of being caught, fear of what was happening now to your cousin, and what Loras would think of you leaving. 

But you had freedom, no more hand maidens pawing at you the moment you woke up to the moment you fell asleep. You no longer had to endure the torment of the Lannister's. No longer had to marry a man you didn’t love, not really anyway. 

As you rode that day, you stopped to water the horses. As you did, a group of five men were riding down the trail behind you. You looked back at them as you heard the sound of their horses trotting. 

“Don’t look at em’” Sandor grumbled, not looking at you. You looked back to, Lika. 

You pet Lika, trying to distract yourself as you felt a pit in your stomach. A pit of dreadful anxiety. You always felt that same anxiety every time you knew something terrible was coming. 

“Don’t fuckin’ look at em’." He grumbled even lower this time as the men came closer. You looked at him and he was looking right back at you. Until his gaze went back to the water Stranger was drinking from. 

It was a large watering hole, so it wasn’t surprising to Sandor when the five men stopped there as well to water their horses. 

As soon as they did, Sandor walked closer towards you, guarding their view of you with his form. 

The group of men were a little rowdy, and they looked over to you and Sandor. 

“Hello there, friends!” A bald man shouted, and your stomach dropped. 

Sandor looked over at the man, show him that permanent scowl on his face.

“I know you, you’re the hound, Joffrey's Dog.” A man with longer hair shouted again.

“How far til Saltpans?” The hound asked ignoring the mans comment. 

“I reckon a day. Maybe another if you’re unlucky.” The bald man said. 

Sandor took the answer and left it at that. Looking away. 

“What’re you doing out there? Far from Kings Landing.” The Stout man said.

“I heard Joffrey's hound ran from the battle of the blackwater.” A tall and dark man said, he seemed angrier than the other men. 

His tone made Lika spook slightly.

“Easy.” You whispered to Lika, stroking her snout. 

“Pretty creature you got there.” the stout man said, you had the feeling he wasn’t talking about Lika, his eyes were on you.

Sandor stepped in front of the mans view of you, “You’ve got food there?” The men had sacks of what looked like food, and a lot of it. “Bring me it.” 

“You got something to trade for it?” The tall man asked

“Not a thing.” The Hound said, it made you want to roll into a ball. He was aggressively confident. 

“Now Dog, we know that ain’t true.” The tall man said tilting his head to get a better look at you. 

“Your cunt friend speaks like that again and I’ll cut out his fucking tongue.” The Hound hissed

“Oh but he’s right the crowns offering a pretty penny for you my friend.” The bald man said.

“And you think you’re the ones to collect it?” The Hound asked with his eyebrows raised.

“Five of us, one of you, and the girl.” The taller man taunted.

“Tell you what, we’ll make a deal with you. It’s been a long journey for the five of us. We don’t want the trouble. We’ll let you go even give ye’ some of our food… for a go at your pretty friend there.” The stout man tried to ‘reason’ with the group.

“Fuck you.” You said with the same ever present venom in your voice. 

The group of men began to laugh at your words, but when the Hound stepped forward with his grip on the tilt of his sword made their laughter falter. 

“Ye have any fuckin’ sense you’ll drop the food and leave.” The Hound spoke coldly.

“You don’t seem to understand the situation.” The tall man spoke. 

“I understand if any more words come pouring out any one of yer cunt mouths, I’m gon’ have to kill each one ye.” He stepped forward once more

“You gonna die for some broken in whore-” The stout man wasn’t able to finish his sentence before The Hound stormed towards them. The men caught off guard were late to draw their swords. 

The first to go was the closest to him, the bald one. Unable to draw his sword in time, the Hound cut him down, nearly in half with one blow. You’d never seen anything like it, no, you had. It was like when Gregor cut his horse in half with one blow. You could stew on that thought long before he moved on to the next man.

The tall one, who at that point was able to draw his sword. Their swords clashed together, the Hound kicked his knees in, making the man drop to the ground. That's when he plunged his sword into his chest. He huffed as he retracted it from the mans body. 

He moved forward to the next man, a man with long hair. He seemed startled by the whole scene unfolding. He threw his sword to the ground and raised his hands up quitting. Sandor rolled his eyes and huffed in frustration, he lowered his sword and punched the man so hard his neck must have snapped. 

As the man hit the ground Sandor approached the stout man who said the final words that broke him. The stout man tried to climb his horse but Sandor pulled him down to the ground. Sandor loomed over him as he began to beat him with his hands.

“Say it again!” he shouted again and again as his fist plummeted into the man’s face again and again. 

You were so entranced by this violent dance unfolding in front of you, you’d hardly realized he’d only killed three men, the fourth was under his fist now, and the fifth was… 

“Sandor!” You shouted as the fifth man jumped onto his back. The man was able to cut the Hounds cheek with his nails, deeper than one would expect. The man tried to strangle him from behind, but Sandor was too tall and too wide for the man to. Sandor got ahold of the man, as he did Sandor managed to snap his neck. 

He turned his attention back to the stout man who was still breathing.  

Sandor took out his knife and stabbed it into the mans heart, wiped the blood on the mans sleeve. 

He approached you, he was covered in blood. Huffing and puffing, he put his blade back in its sheave. He picked you up by your waist and sat you on Lika. 

“Sandor…” You mumbled as you looked down at your clothes that he inadvertently smeared blood on. 

He grumbled something that sounded something like “Sorry”, as he walked back over to the bundles of food still attached to the abandoned horses. As he untied each one, and carried all of them back to your horses, you couldn’t help but admire his strength. One man would struggle to carry just one but he could called all three without struggle.

꒰ ୨୧ ─・┈ ꒱꒱

You had washed your pants, your wool sweater, and Sandor's armor, in the water after the attack. They laid out on a near rock as they dried. You two sat beside one another in front of a warm fire. 

Sandor sloppily shoveled meat and bread into his mouth with his large brutish hands. You watched him, in awe. How he could have killed five men and less than an hour later be eating like a king. 

“Eat.” Sandor said with a mouth full of food. you shook your head, “Fuck-” He hissed under his breathe, ripping a piece of meat off and holding it up to your mouth, “I’m not that imp lord, I won’t let you starve. You can eat it or I'll make you eat it.” You pouted a little, looking from his eyes to the piece of food in his hands. You took his wrist and moved his hand closer to your mouth as you ate in as he wished, from his fingers. 

As you chewed it your face scrunched up, “It’s-” 

“Shit” He said shoveling more into his mouth.

“Hardly worth dying for.” You said as you grabbed some bread, hoping it’d be better than the meat.

“Those cunts didn’t die for the fucking food.” Sandor grumbled, 

You stopped chewing for a moment and looked at him. His words, brutal but in some indecent way romantic. He’d kill five man for simply insulting you.

You watched him eat, in... adoration? Awe? Who knows. You watched him eat, and noticed the cut on his face still bleeding.

“Your face-“ You said reaching out to touch his cut cheek, he grabbed your wrist stopping you, “Stop it.” You rolled your eyes as you commanded and he actually gave in, letting go of your wrist. You ran you hand against his cheek, he looked down, avoiding your eyes. He pushed away his food, “come here.” You spoke softly. Instead of him coming closer he pulled you onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around you.

You used your sleeve to tap the blood away from his cut. Dapping at it trying to stop the bleeding.

“I told you… no one is ever gonna hurt you again.” He whispered, looking into your eyes.

“I don’t want you hurt either.” You said still trying to stop his bleeding,

“Too late for that.” He grumbled.

You leaned in and kissed his lips incredibly gently, running your hands against the sides of his face, letting them run down to his neck.

“I don’t deserve this,” He rasped as your lips parted, 

You kissed his nose, “Too late for that.” You gently rubbed your nose against his own just before you kissed him again.

You kissed him deeper, but softly. His hands ran through your hair. He admired the length of it, the texture of it, the color of it, and the smell of it. 

You moved you leg over his lap. He kept at petting your hair, his hands traveled down to your lower back, the other to your thigh. You knew he was going to push you onto your back. So you stopped him, moving his hands to your hips. “Gentle” You whispered into his mouth. 

You began to rock your hips back and forth against his now stiffening cock. He groaned into your mouth. Your kisses still soft and gentle, but now increasingly sloppy. 

You felt his hands begin to ready himself to flip you on your back again. So once again you stopped him. “A mans meant to fuck his woman.” 

“I’m your lady?” You teased him with a subtle smirk as you kissed his jaw

“Well, youre not anyone else’s that for fuckin' sure.”

You pulled his cock out, grinding your clothed cunt against it, rocking your hips against it making his thighs flex involuntarily. He began to paw at your small clothes. 

“I’ll fucking rip these off you if you don’t take em off.” 

You grabbed him by his jaw with both your hands forcing him to look you in the eyes. “I told you to be gentle.” Your grip softened as his hands wrapped around your back. “Let me be sweet for you.” You whispered into his mouth. 

You moved your small clothes to the side and pushed his cock inside of you, slowly. You were wet, but not wet enough for it to not sting a little. 

You winced a little, “Nphm” You whined a little. 

“Thats what happens when you don’t let me-” You cut him off by kissing him again, 

Once his cock was in you, just barely brushing your cervix, you stopped moving. You just held him while you kissed him. 

He bucked his hips, hitting your cervix in a way that made you arch your back.  

“Don’t move,” You whispered in his ear, licking and nibbling on it lightly.

“The fuck are you doing-” he growled but then let out a small moan from your tongue on his ear.

“Shut up.” You said into his ear in a breathless moan as you felt yourself getting wetter. Fitting him better, molding around his now familiar shape. 

It made him growl under his breathe, gripping onto the plushness of your hips. 

“You’re playing a dangerous game, woma-” You cut him off again kissing him deeply, sucking on his tongue. He moaned into your mouth, and he bit your lip. 

You lifted your tunic over your head, tossing it beside you. You still had on the top half of your small clothes. 

Sandor leaned down and began sucking at your breasts through the fabric, his hands caressing them gently. But his grip tightened as you let out a moan and he felt you tighten around his cock. 

He growled into your breasts, the vibration from it made you even wetter, soaking his cock and only making it easier for him to sink in deeper, pushing against your cervix. 

He then discarded his own tunic, “Take that off-” His voice rumbled, so you did. You took off the top half of your small clothes. His mouth returned to your breasts, swearing against your skin, you could feel him pulsing inside you. You couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to fuck. Not be fucked, but you needed to fuck.

You rolled your hips and it made him bite down on the plush skin of your breast which made you mewl. You stopped after moving just the once, 

“You want more?” You asked petting the hair on his head

“Fuck do you think?” You grabbed him by his jaw and chin, forcing him to look at you. 

“I won’t do it if you don’t ask.” your hand trailed from his chin to his throat, squeezing it a little before dragging your nails down his chest. He bit his lip smirking a little, not letting allowing himself to ask, his pride stopping him. “No? Alright then.” 

“Please..” He said through gritted teeth, 

“What was that?” You teased him,

He grabbed your throat and pulled you to his mouth, “please…” He said again this time biting your lip.

You began to grind yourself on his cock. At this point you were so wet you did it with ease, it was all pleasure. You moaned into his mouth as he kept his grip on your throat. 

“Fuck” He cursed into your neck as he licked and nipped at the skin, “At’s it-  fuck me-” He whispered against your bruising skin. 

“Nmm- Ah! Sandor-” You moaned into his ear as you clawed at his back. 

“Taking me so-” He grunted, gritted his teeth “So fucking good!” He struggled to say without grunting. 

Your legs began to feel weaker, and weaker, shaking. Fucking was a new skill you’d obtained and this part was just as new. You knew you couldn’t keep bouncing yourself on his cock alone. But rather than admit failure, you licked his ear, and moaned into it “Sandor, mmmphm, please, I need you to fuck me,” 

Without hesitation his hands went to your ass, bouncing you on his cock. “Ah!” You moaned again and again, your breasts bounced against his chest, making you only that much wetter. You pressed your cheek against his, constantly moaning directly in his ear. It drove him mad. You could feel yourself coming undone, “I’m cuming!” You whined against his face. He turned his head slightly to kiss your cheek sloppily, 

“Good, do it, cum on my cock, Birdy.” He groaned into your ear. 

You felt your legs spasm, and you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, squeezing down his shoulders tight, digging your nails into his skin. You buried your face in his neck as you reached your peak, you moaned so loud, it could’ve been a scream. 

He took your face from his neck, holding it so you’d look him in the eyes, he brushed the hair from your face, “How’d that feel, Birdy?” Strangely gentle. You kissed his lips sloppily, 

“Keep going,” You panted into his mouth. To which he obeyed, pumping in and out of you with an increasingly erratic pace.

He looked down at your cunt sucking him back in, the thick ring of cream you created around his cock, the way your thighs were shaking, it was beginning to be too much for him.

His hand tangled in your hair, foreheads resting on one another, moaning into each others mouths, the way his hands made you feel safe. 

“Sandor,” You couldn’t stop the words from coming, “I love you.” You moaned breathlessly, you hoped he didn’t hear but he did, it sent him over the edge unexpectedly. 

He melted in you, you felt the heat spreading in your core.

As you laid against his chest, sweating, panting, exhausted, he said, so quietly you almost didn’t hear it, “Love you..” 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

The next morning you woke in his arms. You both got dressed, and no real words were spoken.

As you readied Lika, Sandor came up behind you. 

He put a piece of bread in your hands. As you looked at it, he wrapped one hand around your waist and leaned down to smell your hair.

You just smiled to yourself, looking at the piece of bread. 

He patted your behind quickly, “Hurry up, got a long ways to go.” 

Just as you were about to mount Lika, you and Sandor heard the sounds of at least twenty horses galloping closer and closer, and the sounds of men. 

Sandor wasted no time picking you up and putting you on Lika.

“Go, take off that way and don’t stop-” He growled at you 

“I can’t leave you-“ You tried to plea with him, 

“Did it sound like a fucking question? Get the fuck out of here!” He shouted at you,

“No!” You shouted back with the same ferocity as he did. 

“Stubborn bitch.” He said under his breathe, “Take this,” It was his dagger. “That ways North, keep going til I get you or you get to the Starks.” He said,

“Sandor-” You began but he hit Lika and yelled, making her take off with you on her. You couldn’t get her to stop, all you could do was look back and watch as a group of men surrounded the man you loved. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

It was miles til Lika was calmed enough to respond to your commands. By then it was no use. No point in going back, you knew if he needed help you weren’t able to give it. 

Once you found a small creek you decided to stop let Lika drink.

As she drank, you sat there, wondering what to do. 

Who were those men? Where they Lannister men? Raiders? Should you wait for him? He said he’d come, was he trying to give you hope? Unlikely, he wouldn’t be so cruel. As you were contemplating, 

“My Lady Arryn!” It startled you, no one had referred to you as a Lady in so long, much less your house name. 

You turned to see a older but handsome knight, in pretty silver armor. He had a blue cape. And was riding on a large Brown horse. 

“Who are you?” You held out your dagger at him,

“Ser Varys Cole of the Vale, my Lady. I didn’t recognize you in those clothes, but how could any knight forget such a vision once he’s seen it.” 

“Ser Cole? You served my father.”

“Indeed I did, My Lady.” You eyes still watched him like a… well a falcon, “So perhaps given the circumstances, you could lower your weapon?” He said with a smile,

So you did, trying to play the cards in your hand. “Ser Cole, I require your assistance, I need to find Robb Stark.” 

He looked down regretfully, “My Lady, I am afraid I cannot assist you with such a task.” 

“Why not?” You pressed, 

“I am under the order of Lord Baelish to bring you to him directly.” 

“The Vale is under the direct protection and order of the Arryns as it has been for generations, and you take your order from Baelish, not I?”  You asked with furrowed brows and beady eyes,

“I am afraid so my lady.” 

You looked at him with disgust, you walked back towards Lika. “Leave me then, I shall find my own way.” 

“I am afraid I cannot allow that, my Lady.” He said, you looked back at him with a harsh gaze.

“You can, leave me. Just go and I won’t speak a word of it.” 

“My Lady, your father would want me to see you to safety.” 

“You believe safety is with Little Finger?” You questioned him like he were a child. 

“It’s not out here.” He said looking around, you hoped Sandor would ride up and cut him down. “My Lady if you do not come willing I have orders to take you in ropes. I’d prefer you untied. So would your father.” It only angered you more that he mentioned your father so much. 

You wanted your dog.

“I will not go to Kings Landing.” You said sternly, gripping on to your dagger. 

“No my lady, I’ve been instructed to take you Lord Baelish.” He said as if it were an improvement. 

You held the dagger in your hand. your thumb brushing the handle of the blade. You contemplated it. You could kill him. maybe. steal his armor, his sword. Travel north until you got to Winterfell. But that’s all to say you could take the armored man in combat, and that no one else along your journey would try to kill you either. 

“How far?” You asked, hoping he’d say it’d be a two days journey to him. So you could run at night. 

“Lord Baelish is occupying an Inn near by. He had a feeling you’d be around this area.” He was lucky you got separated from Sandor in that case.

He got off his horse and walked towards you, “You can go on your horse, My Lady. Or you can go in ropes.” 

“Ropes.” You said, you pulled your dagger our and stabbed him in his leg, but he grabbed your wrist before you could remove it. 

He gritted his teeth, “That was not necessary, my Lady.”

He pinned you on your back and tied your hands together. Placed you on your horse, then tied your horse to his own. All the while limping. 

“Forgive me, My Lady.” 

He said as he rode on, you prayed to all the Gods, old and new, for Sandor to be around a tree. For him to come up the rode, for him to kill this man, for him to untie you, and be in his arms again. 

But no.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

As you arrived at the Inn, Ser Cole carried you off your horse. You wanted to kill him for even touching you. He placed you on the ground and guided you to Little Fingers chambers. 

“What is this? Untie the girl!” Petyr ordered,

“Yes, My Lord.” Ser Cole did as he asked. 

“Leave us,”

“Yes, My Lord.” 

Ser Cole left the room.

You rubbed your wrists and stared daggers at Baelish, you wanted to kill him right then. 

But the knight outside the door would have killed you too, you’d have to wait til you had your dog.

“A sight for weary eyes, my lady. Even in rags.” He said with a twisted grin. 

“Don’t take me back there, to Kings Landing.” You asked, but it sounded more like a command.

“If you wished to escape why wouldn’t you have asked me, you know I would have done anything-” 

“You had ample time to help me and chose not to.” You interrupted him,

“You and Lord Tyrion seemed contented.”

“And you seemed contented to watch.” 

“I know he has been positively bereft in your absence.” You felt your stomach drop. You’d wondered on him, for a moment, but you assumed he’d be fine.

“Lord Tyrion is a decent man,” You said with concern in your voice.

“Then why not marry him?”

“Because I am not a decent woman.” You blurted out with venom,  “I rather you kill me then go back there.” You threatened. 

“I’d never do such a thing,” He ran his finers against the skin of your forearm. Sandor would have cut his fingers off for it, you thought. You raised an eyebrow at him. “I asked your father for your hand, did you know this?”

You swallowed, “I did.” 

“Do you know why I did?” You felt sick, a pit in your stomach, that same pit of dread.

“You want the Vale-”

“I wanted you.” He said as he leaned in and kissed your lips. Your lips did not move and your eyes stayed open. Sandor would have cut his throat for that, you thought. 

As he pulled away you pressed your lips together and looked down. 

“You aren’t taking me to Kings Landing are you?” You whispered. 

“No, no my lady I am not.”

NOTE: Hey all you cool cats and kittens, sorry if you had to wait a little for this one. It is a longer chapter so I hope it satisfies you or a lil.  Also I know, I know, the ending is a bit of a bummer, reading angst is never as fun as writing it but distance makes the heart grow fonder or whatever.  I also gave you sub Sandor so like…. You're actually so welcome. 

Beloved Tags: 

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[prettyb0ycvnt]

hi freaks of tumblr . here's my introduction post teeheehee <3

my name is aiden ! i am an eighteen year old queer trans man - pre-op and pre-t unfortunately ... but whatever im still hot. giggles and twirls hair.

more about me :3

☆ freakiest virgin you've ever met. i'd like that to CHANGE but uhhghhh the most i can get is freaks on tumblr (hit me up lalalala)

☆ real life prince charming pupboy :3 !!!

☆ literally not an ounce of dominance inside me at ALL i'm very submissive!!!! to an insane extent!!!

☆ bottom.

☆ perpetually in heat actually. need that to be rectified

☆ bst timezone. british twink moving like Oh Good Heavens... Oh My... Good Grief...

☆ my asks are open all the time to anyone! dms are open for mutuals only (i'm totally open to conversation & sharing things with moots as long as ur respectful!!). i prefer getting asks; i'm bad with managing messages. also feel free to dm or ask me stuff if you just wanna be friends!!! blank blogs do not message me it weirds me out x

☆ i'm a writer! my posts may tend to get real descriptive if i'm not hornied-out beyond all comprehensive thought!!

☆ i am transgender and a lot of the stuff i post will focus on this :3 !!! my posts will reference fem biology but i'm not a girl don't call me one or i'll rip my hair out and die.

☆ im a queer man !! still fully figuring out where my attraction lies but i do know i have a very heavy male pref. please don't repost my stuff if you're a cishet blogger or a 'men dni' blog im literally a. man and i love men and i talk about loving men and im the antithesis of everything u stand for . all queer freaks (including. wlw!!!) can do whatever they want with my posts :3

☆ some of my non-freakish interests include acting, literature, writing, baking, reading and certain fandoms that i don't want to explicitly reference in case this post appears to them uhm feel free to ask me about them!!!

claimed anons: 😵💫 ; 👾 ; 🪰; 🍁 ; ⚒ ; 🍓 ; 🐈‍⬛ ; 🎈

dni: minors, MAPs, bigots of any kind, trans fetishisers, ed & sh blogs, ageless blogs, weirdo freaks of the bad kind!!

tags

#☆ aiden's corner -> silly thoughts of mine!! sometimes they r Slightly lesser hornyposting... sometimes they're just funny things ithink of. sometimes its just me talking about whateva welcum to aiden's corner !!

#☆ aiden's freakish thoughts -> hornyposting to the maxxxx.... under this tag im a FREAAKKK

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me if u even care

okay thats all i can think of rn ummm anyway. stuff i'm into & limits under the cut :3

i looove >_< !!!

praise, degradation, breeding, petplay, major voice kink!, exhibitionism, voyeurism, humiliation, objectification, free-use, cockwarming, royalty, dumbification, somnophilia, forcemasc and ummm probably more you should totes talk to me so we can find out!

limits >:[ !!!

detrans/misgendering, forced feminisation, scat, bestiality, watersports, blood, basically any bodily fluids that aren't cum or spit, intox related to alcohol specifically, anything to do with feet, feederism, weight gain/weight loss, incest/fauxcest, ageplay, rape, daddy/mommy, pregnancy, basically everything else that's super fucking weird and unethical. -> if you're into these things that's totally fine!! i'd just prefer they're not brought up in regards to myself ^_^

bodily terms for myself :3

not on t nor have i had surgery so i still very much have female parts and im fine with them being referred to as such!!! acceptable terms include cunt, pussy/boypussy, slit, hole, clit, chest, tits, (t-)cock& (t-)dick !! all i ask is that the term vagina is not used.

things i like being called >_<

please refer to me with masculine or neutral terms, nothing feminine. degrading terms like whore, bitch, slut and any other varieties (cumslut, etc.) are 100% okay! in fact please call me them!! praising terms like good boy are wooonderful. call me puppy/pup and ill explode and die (in a good way!!!) tbh literally call me anything as long as its not feminine and i'll love it. lalalalaa

[safekeeperscosm]

Little surprised you haven't been joining the Billford resurgence after Book of Bill pretty much made it canon

ME TOO HAHAHGSHS it's hard when I have 2 other fixations at the same time as well 😅

I have been kinda keeping up tho! on my gf @arson-of-dreams sideblog. tbh billford is second to the euclydia side of things, next to jheselbraum,, but either way TBOB has definitely been vindicating to me about my own hcs and view of their characters in canon. unfortunately all I want to do is silly light-hearted jokey stuff cause man they weren't kidding about the heavy things. I loved every word of torture and torment its heartbreaking and terrifying AND the pines especially ford gets their closure/happy ending 🥺 I hope the theraprism is a nice rehab cause on one hand bill my silly billy bill needs help and kindness and compassion, but on the other hand I got some bad vibes with the asylum side of things...

it really popped off with the bill stories of possessing the undead, eating people, all good stuff. AND PACIFICA GETS SOME LOVE how did both my fave characters end up covered in blood teeheehee

haven't heard much of gideon, but the parallels go soo hand in hand

I've always believed in ford was obsessed with bill, then the turn tables with bill obsessed with ford after the breakup, and ford is still obsessed but that admiration adoration has turned into vengeance and hatred, they are so divorced and ford is so over him, bill fumbled so hard he died lmaoo I never expected sympathetic bill to be canon but I've always known it ever since the penthouse scene. AND JHESELBRAUM LORE I REALLY THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS ALL WE WERE GONNA GET

excuse me I'm very sleep deprived and have been very sick, take some doodles 💝

I did the last two before the website happened 💀 also look at my billford hatechild I made from my last gf fixiation teehee

[philsmeatylegss]

Hiii I just saw a post Abt the v day video and how it's fucked up and such and I was just wondering why? I found it a few years ago but it was just kinda cute tbh what's wrong with it? Lmao I'm definitely a newer phan, I only started really following their stuff in like 2017 so I don't know too much about early dnp lol

Oh fuck I’m old

I think it’s safe enough to finally talk publicly about it.

Basically the vday video was a video Phil made for Dan for Valentine’s Day. He uploaded it privately onto his YouTube channel which Dan had the password to so Dan could see it. At this time, Dan was on vacation (pretty sure in India) and he wouldn’t have been able to see a video of that quality just through text or email. Shitty luck, the same time he privately uploaded it, infamous YouTube glitch happened where all private videos became public. And one of the videos that went public was the v day video.

There’s a lot of jokes about Dan in 2012, but it’s actually really depressing. Dan wasn’t out yet and he had a fuck ton of trauma surrounding his sexuality. 2012 is when dnp started blowing up enough to where they became part of popular early YouTube so people saved the v day video when it was uploaded.

They’ve only addressed it a few times in which they said it was an April Fool’s prank, which obviously doesn’t make sense, but what were they supposed to say? According to legend, people would keep reuploading the video and Phil would spend hours taking them down one by one and it would say “AmazingPhil took down this video for copyrite.”

It was a catalyst to just a really shitty period for dnp. All aggressively heterosexual clips from Dan’s liveshows are my 2012. “FYI I like vagina” is 2012. People were contacting his 14 year old brother to ask about him and Phil. That alone is both fucked up to drag a kid into this, but remember that Dan still wasn’t out to his family. It was probably so fucking terrifying when his YouTube life, especially regarding his sexuality and relationship, clashed with his family life for the first time.

There’s a noticeable difference between their relationship in videos from 2009-2011 and 2012-2015. And it is most likely because dnp blew up pretty big in 2012 and started going from making YouTube videos for fun to doing it as a job with the added pressure of millions watching. And the catalyst, or at least metaphorical catalyst, from the switch between being openly touchy feely giggles to strict, five feet apart mates is considered to be the vday vid.

It was a big problem in the phandom since it was leaked to around 2017ish. A lot of people were circulating it and word was that they were still being taken down years later, implying that Phil was still searching for the video years later.

The phandom used to be primarily 12-16 year olds. And when you’re that age, speaking from experience, you don’t understand the complexities of the situation and just kinda thought “teeheehee phan is real XD.” When in reality, it was a very sensitive and serious thing that wasn’t meant to ever be seen by the public. It’s literally where the cherry lube and kissing at the Manchester Eye reference is from.

Rightfully so, the video became more and more taboo to mention and most people caught on that it was a shitty thing to upload or share it. It used to be really taboo and affectionately was often referred to as “the video that shall not be named.”

It honestly has a backstory that is so story-like that it seems unreal. So much had to happen for it to be leaked and the impact it had on them was so large it’s like a black hole in phandom history.

It’s possible not all of this is accurate, this is just the basic lore of it. So while I don’t think the internet police will drag you to prison for saying you watched the vday video, this is the context behind it. Do with it what you will.

Spending your entire preteen, teen, and now 20s as a phannie will fry your brain in unimaginable ways. I knew this off the top of my head😭

[syncogon]

[QZGS TL] season 3 episode 3 onscreen text

for fun i did some quick translations of onscreen text during this episode that wasn't translated in subtitles.

these are very jank and subject to inaccuracy. read at your own risk.

beginning of the ep, weibo posts after samsara defeats blue rain in round 1:

[#team samsara wins first!# topic summary: samsara wins the first round of the glory playoffs]

big bro likes eating meat: "samsara only won one round, what's there to be smug about, waiting for blue rain three championships"

ry-lord one: "god damn, ywz this round was worse than garbage"

lord sassy: "this big victory might have some downsides, too high a starting point can lead to national viewers unable to bear samsara's next failure"

ry-lord one: "magic, last year played so desperately and still only got two runner-ups"

pour a cup for auntie: "he who laughs last laughs best"

zzk's beef meatballs: "hot take: if zzk these past two years had yq's scores wouldn't he be glory's number one"

glory little yellowfur: "this time hst straight-up bombed his own reviews"

little master berserker: "summarizing hst's trash talk these past few years"

flower flower: "i always felt that jbt and ywz are at the same level"

happiness is today: "samsara's victory represents a story with a happy ending"

not playing games only swiping card: "thought about it overnight, feel that samsara winning the championship is both reasonable and ridiculous"

zzk's beef meatballs: "why is everyone so excited about samsara winning? as someone who's watched glory matches for several years now, i have the authority to answer this question."

ya_5456778: 👎 .jpg

stgl-teeheehee: "samsara's s8 championship victory explodes on hot search, alliance official account issues congratulations (reply for 30 prestige)"

flower-distance: "why zzk is a god, first of all…"

if you're like me: "everyone's cursing samsara, everyone wants to be samsara"

........

speech bubbles during the in-game samsara vs blue rain conflicts:

"samsara is too arrogant!"

"y'all are just jealous!"

"panic, panic! they're panicked!"

"little kid, go home and do your homework!"

"you guys are just pathetic!"

"with your attitude, you blue rain fans shouldn't be playing games, go shower and go to bed!"

"samsara loves pretending!"

"blue rain fans don't show your shamelessness any more!"

"just love seeing you guys upset and inferior like this!"

.......

weibo posts shown in the ending theme:

"samsara's tacit cooperation is too incredible! zhou zekai's skill matched with jiang botao's talent, their performance is so eye-catching, their continual reliability earns everyone's trust!" "zhou zekai is invincible, jiang botao is flawless!"

"these two years after samsara gained jiang botao, it's truly a tiger gaining wings! team samsara sing out!"

"samsara is defying the heavens! sharpshooter, jiang botao's spellblade, and blade master are all first rate esports players, their coordination is brilliant, added on to the entire team's battle power, it's truly unrivaled!" "samsara is simply THE most eyecatching team! theres no other!"

"zhou zekai and jiang botao's show of power ahhh! the details of their controls are perfectly matched, their power can't be underestimated!"

[plaindangan]

Lets ask the Girls of Class 77 what they think of Genderbend!Hajime!!!!

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not read!

Chiaki

"Hm? May? It took a bit of adjusting to her, but Hajime will always be Hajime~ And now we can do even even more stuff together, like share each other's clothes! She really looks good in spare pajamas...really good actually~" Chiaki blushed, her mind wandering to May plump butt filling out her Pac-Man maze pajamas pants really well and how the Sonic themed crop top exposed her lover's tight stomach just enough underboob from her massive tits~

Akane

"Eh? Hart? Ohhh, right, that guy's a girl now. Eh, doesn't mean much to me. Dude's the same as ever, always quick to make a racket. You should have seen her yesterday. I kept telling her it was fine to go topless at the beach and even dragged her about to show her, but she kept on squeaking. Real cute to look at though~"

Sonia

"Hajime? Oh, 'May'! It's been quite the curious affair to get to know the new Hinata after being used to the old for so long, but I took it as a challenge to allow the both of us to bond over some Novoselic culture! Now Nut November is still on-going and having someone as voluptuous as her help relieve my pent-up citizens has been a godsend~"

Peko

"That would be May now, correct? Given her new form, I actually decide to spar with her since I wanted to see if she still had her old, fit body. And...well..." Huh? Peko was blushing madly as thoughts of May in Peko's tight uniform came back to her. "She is...as healthy as expected."

Ibuki

"Ibuki thinks May-May is hot as Hell itself~ She can give even Mikan and Peko-Peko a run for their money~ Ibuki just had to greet her by running up and diving into those double D's of hers~ They just looked so soft and nommable, you know?!"

Mahiru

"O-oh, Hajime...or May? I'm sorry, it's been a time trying to adjust to her. But, I suppose its just...the same? Kind of? I've been trying to help her adjust as best as I can since what she's going through is quite a shift from what she was. It's been fun hanging out with May still! I've been taking pictures of her in the new outfits I gave her, to show her that she looks really amazing!...H-huh?! O-of course, its just that!!" She wouldn't dare try to take sneaky pics of May doing lewd stuff by accident...wouldn't dream of it~

Hiyoko

"Doesn't matter how you slice it, a dweeb is still a dweeb!! And as long as I can get her to still gimme piggyback rides or do my stuff for me, then nothing's changed!!" Hiyoko said, though as she stomped off, you can't help but her her grumbling over something about May's 'cow tits' sticking out in a kimono for some reason?

Mikan

"I-I th-that's...H-hajime has h-helped me so much in the past!! I-I just had to help him out when he became a girl!! I w-was the one that did her examination when we learned she'd changed and I was...s-super g-gentle to get her settled in~ Sh-she comes back to me daily for tr-treatment~ Teeheehee~ I love her just as much, no matter what gender she is~" Mikan's face would slowly warp into a loving, yet kind of creepy grin as she remembered the times she had to 'examine' May's body. In full detail, with an added bonus to help the new girl out.

[birdiesbuckley]

tactless its a test ch. 2/3 thoughts!

hey sexy people i hope you enjoyed that chapter. I've literally been writing this since I posted the last one but took a month break bc I randomly decided i hated everything i had written! honestly did not think a canon rewrite would be so difficult but here we are! some things in this chapter i wanted to talk about;

-yes i know samantha is mean to nancy. but listen. coming from a sister, this is appropriate sister behavior. sam realizes that shes kinda bitch to nance but doesn't care bc she hurt steve. yes i know steve and nance hurt each other, but sam is partial to steve obvi. they’ll be better post stancy breakup, and become the badass girlboss duo we want them to be i swear. i am a nancy lover first and foremost. 

- on that note i should mention i hate stancy. they are not good for each other

-yes i snuck rob in there for a sec. sorry not sorry, i had to write about the loml for a few paragraphs or i was gonna get separation anxiety before the st3 chapters. 

-also i wasn't originally planning on revealing sams sexuality until the great coming out scene but i decided to change how i was gonna do it bc i think I'm gonna write st4 now too so I'm plotting. 

-yes samantha’s costume is magenta in rocky horror. i love that musical with my whole heart, so obvi sams go to costume was gonna be my own go to costume. also im not sure if it was ever mentioned but samantha is blonde. 

-yes i had always planned the samantha scene. did i think about it after i changed sams name from scarlett... no... but honestly canon lesbian experience, and it was a brief enough scene that i decided it didn't matter. also you cant put a girl in a siouxsie sioux costume and not expect me to make her gay.

-dustin has a tiny crush on samantha bc i think its funny. sams style is not super common in hawkins and tiny twelve year old dustin is amazed. 

-on that note, in my mind sams style is very new wave. think a more rocker debbie harry. while new wave may be a basic 80s style, it definitely wasnt as common in buttfuck nowhere indiana. on the same note, her hair is blonde as i mentioned, and she has the debbie harry log bob with messy wispy bangs, minus the dark underside, for sure (see the top and bottom right pics below). she can also have a little metal/rock influence on her style as a treat. here's some style inspo for my girl 

-however, sams music taste is not new wave at all, she is a rock girl through and through. she def loves led zep. you’ll see her fav song in the st4 chapters teeheehee. but anyways she can dress new wave and listen to rock bc she can do whatever she wants and this is my fic. here's my spotify playlist for sam, tactless

-in the junkyard scene i picture sam in this cute little number, patterned jeans and leather jacket, everyone say thank you madonna. its more late 80s but i do whatever i want. also technically the real outfit is jorts but ignore that in my world its jeans. 

-sam taught steve how to do his hair. its canon. they both definitely smell faintly of hairspray.

-on that note a little bit of a gay backstory for sam. if you notice, i make several references to 80s queer culture, and that is because i have a huge hyperfixation for it. as a queer person, it is so important to recognize what a queer elders have done for us and part of that is acknowledging queer culture. so yes, sam is kinda my love letter to 80s queer culture. with rocky horror, siouxsie sioux, bronski beat, and anything else i mention. in future chapters i will go back into how sam learned all of this, bc you dont just learn it living in a small town in the 80s. but shes also gonna get to have her queer mentor moment which i love, so get excited for that. 

-sam has adopted max. she loves all the kids, but she is closets to max, will, mike, and eleven, as youll see in future chapters. shes fighting for the elmax friendship train. in this fic, steve is closest with dustin, lucas, and max as well. sam and steve love them all equally, but based on how close their friendship are thats how it it. 

-hopper is a softie agenda. thats my dad for reals. some of my own fav fics have hopper as a father figure to steve, so i just had to add it. hopper has a huge spot in his heart for kids with shitty parents, and he wants to protect them all. and later in the chapter, joyce has her pseudo mom moment. i love fics where steve somehow ends up adopted into the byers-hopper household. 

-the action scenes were definitely the hardest to write, and i rewrote all of them several times. the junkyard scene was similar to my og plan, but the billy fight at tunnels completely changed. originally i had no clue how i was gonna knock sam out, bc there was no way she’d go to the tunnels if steve was passed out. her using a pocketknife is slightly unhinged, but tbh love that for her. unfortunately, the harringtons are destined to receive concussions. 

-originally it was gonna be sam holding onto max in the tunnels, but i didnt wanna take away from steve, so i had a twin moment. you may think it takes away a part of steve and dustins friendship, but i dont think so, i think dustin is already obsessed with steves companionship. 

-say goodbye to saint cecilias bc this is the last time we’ll see it! good riddance i think! 

-also sam was originally gonna help max get ready for the snowball, but i think her having her mom help is important, and el needs girl time so that happened instead. the snowball scene is so special to me, and has been since i first watched the season when it came out. els dress is so cute, and im pretty sure i heard somewhere that it was nancy who helped, which is why i added the shoes bit. 

-also the timeline in this is fucked and i know. you mightve seen my timeline related mental breakdown, but in my defense it is seriously confusing no matter how many times ive seen the show. it starts to get fucked once they go with dustin to the cellar, like i know that technically its night when they go, and then railroad tracks scene and junkyard is the next day but in the show theyre also wearing the same clothes the the next day? making it two separate days made the flow weird so i chose to ignore it, even though i know it would mess up every other storyline going on, esp nance and jons, but whatever. so if its messed up at all in this fic my apologies. i had to study the season two fandom wiki page and make my own timeline.

those are my full thoughts on these chapters, hopefully i get my shit together and keep updating but im about to go to uni so we’ll see! if i havent updated in awhile, feel free to come threaten me on insta/tiktok same user as here! ive written some stuff for the future chapters (rating might be going up) so that should keep me motivated. look forward to multiple s3 chapters, goodbye my lovelys!!! 

[postalninja]

Little asks for you! As a Spooky Szn Aficionado - What are your 3 most favourite things about Halloween?

HALLOWEEEEEEN!!! :D Teeheehee! Thanks for the ask ;) 1. The autumn season. Halloween happens during the best, spookiest time of the year. I absolutely adore the fall - when the air starts to get a bit cooler and the leaves start to change, I feel invigorated! Fall makes me want to bake and go for walks and bike rides! And I love stepping on crunchy leaves after they fall - one of those childlike pleasures that no one should ever grow out of ^_^ Funny story, a couple of years back I left the house one foggy autumn morning heading to work, and I legit thought to myself: What a beautiful day! Thick, gorgeous fog, dead leaves on the ground, the crows are singing... what a great day to be alive!! XD 2. Shopping for Halloween decorations! Or, in my case, looking for year-round spooky home decor! I have definitely become one of those people who goes out during the pre-Halloween months specifically looking for spooky decorations that fit my goth aesthetic. There is SO much great quality, beautiful stuff available these days! No longer are cheap, glitter-covered plastic tchotchkes the only option - my home is full of beautiful pillows, candlesticks, lanterns and statues that I bought during Halloween decor shopping. And yes, I do have some things I put out to decorate for Halloween specifically (that's when my collection of pumpkins comes out of storage), but mostly I look for things that stay out all year! :D 3. Trick of treating with my nephews! This is a new one, since last Halloween was the first time I had the privilege to do this. I haven't gone trick or treating myself since I was 17, and it was always the most fun. And since I don't have kids of my own, the lack of that activity was a disappointment year after year. I didn't even get trick or treaters at my door because my house was a bit tucked away. But now I live in the same city as my two little nephews, and it was soooo cute going out with them trick or treating last year. We were even out past dark (which is a big deal for a 3 and 5 year old!) so we got to see all the cool light-up decorations in the neighborhood. The Halloween magic was real! 4. I'm adding a fourth thing because I can't just limit it to three! The COSTUMES!!! Of course, the freaking costumes! Halloween is such a great excuse to get dressed up! I personally enjoy the 'closet costume' approach, where I build the base of the idea on things I already own, and then just need to accessories to make the finished look. Since I already have an interesting wardrobe as a goth, I usually have something to work with, and with my background in fashion design I can theoretically make the bits that I'm missing. I'm already thinking about the costume I want to do this Halloween (Prudence from Oxventure! I already have the horns! ^_^)

[always-andromeda]

ii. Head Over Heels

Eddie Munson x HendersonSister!Reader

Word Count | 2,097

Summary | Four months after taking you out, Eddie figures out that keeping a relationship with you secret is a little harder than he originally thought.

Author’s Note | of course I had to make this a little angsty. don't worry, y'all will forgive me next chapter teeheehee

Warnings | Allusions to sex, mentions of drug usage, pinches of angst, nothing else I can think of!

Parts |

Maneater

i. | ii. | iii.

Head Over Heels

i. | ii. | iii.

Two weeks after you broke up with him, Eddie found something he had managed to forget about as he hung his guitar back up on the wall of his room. He kissed her goodnight the same way he did every time he played her before promptly reaching into his dresser to find some new clothes to sleep in.

Buried underneath the first layer of his own clothes, he found the baby pink lace panties he'd stolen from you on that first date. He hadn't used them yet like he thought he would've. Every time he pulled them out, he couldn’t help but stuff them back in the drawer with guilt. It would’ve been wrong to use them like that. He’s the Freak, yes, but he had morals.

They didn't arouse anything other than an unsettling feeling of despair inside of him. Finally, he let himself discern the overwhelming lack of you in his life. Despite the secrecy you’d sworn him to, you’d become an undeniable fixture of his life.

You hotboxed the van with him. You helped him study for the classes he struggled in. You cuddled up with him to watch cheesy movies on his couch. Now every single one of those scenes was ominously devoid of your laugh and your attempts to keep up with his sharp tongue. He couldn’t even smoke without passing it off to the side before realizing your lips weren’t there to catch the end of it.

Eddie didn’t think he’d ever find a voice he liked more than his own. But you won that competition with a landslide.

He’d played at that bar for the first time since you’d broken up. It wasn't the same now that he'd introduced it to you. If he’d thought the place was a shithole before…now it was just plain old miserable.

It was the second date he took you on; the only public place you were willing to be seen with him. No one from the high school was spending their nights there. That made it easy for you and him to sit huddled up in a booth after a set. He’d nurse a bottle of beer, letting you take a few sips in between hushed whispers and low chuckles. When he’d kiss your neck, you’d yelp in surprise. As his delighted chuckle vibrated against your throat, you’d get into it, letting out the smallest moan so only he could here. He made sure he kept the marks he made below your collarbone, just so you could hide them easier the next day.

Now he couldn’t let himself look at that stupid booth; couldn’t remind himself of what it was like being watched by you with that proud grin as he shredded his guitar. You were certainly more enthusiastic than the handful of drunks that normally attended. He’d shake his shoulder length hair and overplayed every movement, completely overshadowing the lead singer of his band. Sure, it made him mad, but it wasn’t like there was anyone worthwhile watching. Aside from you, of course. Hearing the way you cheered his name after a song left him buzzing with energy and flashing that brilliant smile directly at you.

As long as he kept buying drinks throughout the night, he was sure the owners wouldn’t get too upset with how you and him had taken over the establishment. He’d been enthralled by the flashing colored lights of the jukebox and shoved quarters into it so he could make you dance with him. He had been waiting for the night you’d groan and proclaim that you were finally sick of hearing Head Over Heels. It wasn't his style but he knew you liked the slower shit. More than that, he liked how much the song sedated you. Your eyelids drooped and you smiled ever so slightly when you heard the beginning notes.

Sweeping you from your spot, he’d keep you close to his chest and clumsily dance with you. In those moments, all he could hear was the music, the sound of peanut shells crackling under his shoes, and your tired voice as you sang the lyrics under your breath.

“With one foot in the past, now just how long will it last?” Your voice would be muffled with your cheek pressed right over where his heart would be.

You lift your head to sing dramatically, just like Eddie had on the stage,“No, no, no, have you no ambition?” He tipped his head and tried to kiss you only for you to pull away and continue, “My mother and my brothers, used to breathing clean air…”

You seemed on edge all the time, jumping at the slightest risk of getting caught with him. But right there, in his arms, he was confident enough to presume that you felt safe with him. When the song slowly faded out, for once, Eddie wasn’t ready for Roland Orzabel to stop singing.

You'd be yawning and telling him you were ready to go home. Taking your hand, he guided you back to his van and made sure you didn't stumble climbing in. You were a bit tipsy and just starting to be lulled asleep by the gentle sway of his van as he drove. He would shake your shoulder when he parked in front of your house and offered to walk you to the door. As you’d slowly open your eyes and tell him no, the fantasy was broken. You didn’t want your family to see him.

Every time he kept his mouth shut. He simply pursed his lips and forced a smile as you stumbled up your driveway. He loved having you all to himself. But at the same time, he wanted everyone to know about you. More than anything else, he wanted you to feel comfortable enough to be willing to show him off.

He'd never had a girlfriend before, let alone a person he felt so strongly about. And now that you had walked away from him...he wasn't quite sure what to do. The fact that you could be perfectly fine after everything he’d given you made him feel nauseous. He could only hope that you were just as unhappy as he was.

After school he watched you leave with those self absorbed, superficial friends of yours. He took note of how you pretended to laugh and make dumb conversation with them. But the smiles never reached your eyes. Not like when you were with him. It was a sight that would've made him feel a bit proud of himself if you were still his.

Reasonably, he knew he shouldn't give a fuck. Life was probably better off that way. The guilt was bad enough the day Eddie walked into Hellfire Club with Dustin. You peeled off from the parking lot before Eddie even got the chance to see your face.

Dustin had scoffed as if you were just some immature girl who thought she was making a point with the screeching of her tires. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary for you to be mad at Dustin, especially when he needed to be driven somewhere on a day that you would rather be doing anything else. So he ignored it until he saw the way Eddie reacted.

He stood on the curb, staring at your bumper as you sped away. His gaze only broke when Dustin called his name. Eddie snapped to attention, swallowed hard, broke out into one of his dazzling toothy smiles, and asked Dustin if he was ready for the next part of the campaign that day. Dustin lowered his brows at his friend before quickly matching Eddie's swift pace as he tried to leave his heartache on the curb.

As he was writing that night, clutching your panties in his free hand, Eddie got a devious idea. He decided that he would do what he did best: make a show out of it. The next day during lunch, he'd debut his next big act. It would be one for the books, for sure. Because he was going to get you back; he was going to show you how much he really missed you.

Like clockwork, he strolled over as soon as you settled in at one of the outdoor picnic tables with your friends. The good weather drew out more students than usual. 

Allison's gaze darted to him first and she tugged at your shirt sleeve. You were caught up in a conversation with Laura but it was difficult to ignore Eddie's confident stride and cocky grin. You especially couldn't ignore his teasing tone and your head turned just in time to see him pull a flash of fabric out of his pocket.

"Hey, Henderson. I thought you might want these back. Got some pretty good use out of them since you haven’t been around." His heart was beating out of his chest.

Eddie didn't like lying to you; didn't like how disgusting it made him feel inside. But he didn't care what everyone else thought about him. He needed them to see what you were to him. This was just a splash of ice cold water to wake everyone up. You could smell the roses later on at his place. 

He unfurled the wadded up lace until you were clearly staring at a pair of your panties. Allison's jaw dropped in horror and Laura was already beginning her barrage of a million questions.

Eddie attracted stares wherever he went. So as soon as your name left his lips, it was like he'd dumped a bucket of chum into the water. With dozens of eyes now focused on your underwear, fluttering proudly in the slight breeze like a flag, the sharks were just starting to circle.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You-" though you tried to keep your voice down, you quickly realized that it wouldn't help you at all. Eyes were already on you. Your chest got tight and you struggled to focus on any one thing; it was all overwhelming.

"You fucking freak." You spat at him, snatching the undergarment right from his grasp as you stormed away.

People were murmuring. Wondering aloud what creature the Freak had sacrificed to the Devil in order to land you in his bed. You desperately wished the ground could swallow you whole. At least there would be no body and no grave for Eddie to further desecrate.

You just kept walking, not caring where your long strides took you. You seriously considered skipping the rest of your classes that day and fixed your destination towards the parking lot. With your perfect attendance, of course the school would call your mother later. But you didn’t have the courage to open yourself up to the school nurse to obtain an excuse for the rest of the day. They’d roll their eyes anyways at a teenager sobbing over a guy and claiming that they needed to go home. You could afford to take your mom’s scolding when she got home from work. You’d have plenty of time to make up some sort of excuse.

Tears were gathering in your bottom lashes, when you felt him touch your shoulder.

You swung around, seeing red and bursting with a furious energy, "What do you want from me, huh?"

Eddie’s mouth hung open for a few seconds as he tried to think up something that could justify what he’d just done, "I just wanted you to admit that you were with me. In front of everyone." He couldn’t even convince himself with that explanation.

You laughed darkly, not bothering to wipe away the betrayal that was welling up in your eyes, "You love acting like you don't care what anyone else thinks. And I'm willing to believe that you don't--at least not in the way that everyone else cares. But you are starving for attention, aren't you? And I can't believe I ever fed into it in the first place."

Eddie puffed up his chest indignantly and tilted his head at you, regaining a little composure, "At least I'm honest about who I am, princess."

You squinted at him, scrutinizing him like a fly in a garbage can. Your voice was bitter in a way he’d never heard before when you spoke, "I'd rather be lying to all of them than be so transparently and pathetically desperate."

Eddie deflated as soon as you walked away. He hadn't meant to make you cry. Still hearing the jeers from the classmates he despised, it struck him that just this once, he probably went a little too far.

[meirimerens]

(sorry if you’ve answered this already)

who do you think killed farkhad? 👁👁 iirc you drew the (gorgeous) thing where andrei kills him but you also call petya a murderer?

teeheehee so glad you asked [doesn't particularly have a lot to say but just love talking about it]

for da record anon is talking about this [murder content warning. um. obviously] (thank you :blushing_husky.png:) and i'm putting my replies under a readmore because. even though everyone here has already spoiled all of P1 and P2 to the depths and back. idk avert your eyes

first for those who don't know but wish to understand:

in P1, peter is accused by saburov of killing farkhad, but it is implied that andrey carried out the murder for peter's sake.

in P2, a line from peter says the two of them killed, then buried him.

now. I think andrey did it regardless 💕 comes from a few things, most of which headcanons based on the text and not part of the text itself:

i think andrey is the one with the biggest propensity to actual killing — i think peter can kill, i know peter can kill, but on this one my hc is that he didn't.

the twins share the guilt like they share many thing. to me, in peter's "killed him ourselves, buried him ourselves", he involves himself in the murder, but to me that's because he will not let andrey carry the guilt alone: peter feels as guilty as if he had committed it because to me (and implied in P1), andrey carried the murder for peter's sake.

in P2 if you [information withheld], [information withheld] will give you a key that Peter kept and that you are to give to Andrey: it is implied it is a key to some sort of proof or evidence of farkhad's murder, so to me that was peter keeping andrey's secret. hiding evidence of his acts for him, and if he falls to the law with that evidence, he will take the beating in the way andrey usually does for him.

i think peter wanted him dead soooo bad lol like constant staring at him with ice-cold eyes anger bubbling everytime the Kains heard farkhad instead of him/them. was boiling with murderous intent but never did it... so andrey took the matter in his own hands

now this is something that only makes sense in the english translation because the russian text does not convey it, but since pathologic is a game of perspectives and interpretations i feel comfortable having this as a hc :3 one of the translations of the epitath on farkhad's grave can read as "[...] From inconsolable brothers in arms P. et A. gemini." & i see this as. brothers in arms (as in weapons). brothers in arms (as in: sharing of the hands, of the killing blow. possible literally bodyswap as i'm going to talk about in next bullet point)

now for more... active murder headcanons (<- weird sentences) like How It Was Done... here are some of my thoughts. i just back and forth between how to see it and i'm not sure i'll ever settle on a This Is How It Went Fr Fr.

to meeeee the twins can. i wouldn't say shapeshift. bodyswap? you know that part in P1 bachelor route where in the crucible people are starting to hop bodies with simon apparently inserting himself into victor kain as a vessel? i think the twins can do that, but more seamlessly, and with less push. i think that maybe :3 andrey carried out the murder, peter seeped into him during the killing, and sees himself as having done it, because hey. when in possession of andrey's hands, he didn't stop. (i also think that, as their relationship is strained during P1, peter maybe... not regrets having done that, because he wanted farkhad dead regardless, but now tells himself it just shouldn't be done, and since that ability was a proof of their familial bond, refraining from doing it puts a strain on their bond and creates a bigger and bigger fault between them as individuals [instead of a unit, a "same coin" as they see each other]) dankovsky's P1 line of "hold Andrey's hand—or he may do something bad…" sits as ironic with that headcanon because when peter does hold andrey's hand, does puts his own into andrey's hand... he strikes/they strike it down upon a man and kill/s him. :3

another idea i've been offered and i like but i'm not sure if i hold it for myself is that peter started the murder, fucking attack attack maim maim, andrey stopped him, farkhad kinda looked at them, he's not the type to beg for his life and i think he'd be frankly comfortable with being murdered because he believes in his own hauntings [and then he doooes lol <3] but in a moment he thought andrey would hold his brother back, and then andrey finished the job eagerly TEEHEE

tldr to me andrey did it + peter wanted it to happen sooooo bad he considers himself guilty + maybe he even participated in some way but did not give the killing blow + came from a place of you know that part of cell block tango that's like

I guess you could say we broke up Because of artistic differences He saw himself as alive And I saw him dead

that's what they did to the guy

+ also to me :3 the twins killed before. like as a unit. to me they committed patricide (he had it coming). to me peter is a murderer, he's bloodthirsty, he had a taste, andrey is just more prone to it. :3

thank you for da ask i love violence yes maim kill etc

[foxymoxynoona]

Hiii foxy!! Finally caught up with Meadow! I could lie and tell you that I didn’t have time and all of that, but truthfully, I couldn’t stand the thought of finishing two of your legendary stories in the same week🥲.

My god Mira is a black deer😭😭😭 what a cutie. I loooove animals that have a total black fur. My dog is like that and she has little black fox ears (she’s an Italian Pomeranian so suuuper squishy) oh i can’t I’m gonna-❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

I also read flux and really? You’re gonna leave me with that? Those two on verge of facing one of their biggest issue at the moment? Alright💀

Just kidding, you just spoiled us too much with being the consistency queen you are. Enjoy your hiatus! (I’m actually surprised you hadn’t gone on one yet, I don’t know how you managed to recharge your energy without a break😳). Focus on the big things now, I’ll be here waiting and crying on your stories as always!❤️ oh, and 🌚 caught up with Amended (she stopped at the high school flashbacks and waited for the story to be over) and you successfully made her bawl her eyes out! (Which is pretty easy actually, but always a great satisfaction!)

🌸

Waaaah your puppy sounds so cuuuute. My brother used to have an all-black Pom too and she was the funniest pup!

I don't blame you for spacing out finishing the stories. It's amusing to me that wrapped at about the same time even though their chapter counts were different. I still kind of can't believe they're done!!

Teeheehee to you thinking this is a big moment in Flux... things are SO quiet right now... 😎 I'll be writing the next chapter during my break I hope!

I guess I have a hard time taking breaks, especially from something that I do really enjoy! Like taking a real break from writing wouldn't work. I feel so bad if I don't write literally every day, and sometimes it's just not possible and I have to have pep talks to not panic that I'll never write again haha. But also I really enjoy posting for people, and I had so many people tell me how important my chapters were for routine and getting through the worst times of quarantine, so I guess I also felt like it was my little way of putting good into the world?

But the break will be good for me to recharge and this week would have been a dead week anyway with so much going on IRL.

So sorry to hear about 🌚's tears 😎

[kidical]

how did jeff and nina start dating and what is their dynamic like as a couple?

YESS LETS GOOO LETS GOOO i love these two so much i might start crying midway through typing this

- best friends to lovers trope TT__TT they never get bored around each other theyre such goofballs snff... very little has changed they still do all the same dumb shit together except now jeff is more confident in reaching over and holding her hand :)

- jeff made the first move... indirectly. he had a wingman do a number of things like, see if she was even romantically interested in him, hype him up and then deliver the first move For him because he was too shy TEEHEEHEE!!!!! ❤️  she thought it was very sweet though :)

- jeff puts his sacrifices his fragile masculinity to let nina practice her hobbies on him❤️ she likes to practice her makeup skills on his face and do his hair all with braids and bows and the whole thing! he walks out of the room and the others’ll be like ‘are you wearing makeup’ and he goes ‘no my face is like this naturally. Ive always looked like this.’

- jeff puts on a tough exterior because (prior to slenderman adopting him) hes used to being told no and not receiving affection so his first reaction is to blow it off, but when it isnt persisted he immediately regrets it (THANK YOU LEO for putting this into words for me) 

- ^ by that i mean: jeff: no -_- makeup is for girls -_- nina: oh okay!! ❤️ jeff: NO WAIT

- THEY LIKE TO BE EMO TOGETHER 💖 😭 they do air guitars to falling in reverse and dumpster dive behind hot topic and sneak into concerts and smash mailboxes and steal shopping carts and spraypaint buildings and skateboard THEYRE EMOOO theyre little edgelords i love them so much TT___TT

- nina is SUPER pda she loves hugs, kisses and holding hands as well as out-of-nowhere compliments, while jeff is more embarrassed and shy with pda 💖💖💖💖 not to say he doesnt soak it up! he loves the attention and nina loves giving it to him :) if either of them were uncomfortable itd stop No Questions Asked

- jeff loves his fun loving gf so much he loves her so much and he loves to support her 😭😭😭  hes like that one vid where the person flipped the camera to record their boyfriends reaction to them dancing and hes all :DDD and hyping them up THERES JUST SO MUCH LOVE BETWEEN THEM !!!!!!!!

- theyre in their giddy puppy love phase where theyre just constantly so happy to be in each others company even like.. when theyre having a bad day they confide in and console each other because theres still a lot of genuine respect and admiration between them TT__TT

[kaibutsushidousha]

Artbook Data - Kaito Momota

Kumadori is the make-up pattern worn by violent characters in kabuki theater.

Seiyuu’s comment: Ryouhei Kimura

I yelled a lot (laughs). It was very fun to play the part of a character with a heart win a world as full of suspicion as DanganRonpa. I pray his presence can make you feel more confortable inside that terrifying world filled with monstrous characters. I’m glad I got to be part of this game but... it kinda sucks that I can’t play it unspoiled (laughs).

Kodaka’s comment: Taking the manly spirit of adventure as far as it can go

The name Momota sounds dignified and hot-blooded. And the name Kaito was chosen because it’s just straight-up badass. You could say he knows “the solutions to how to interact with people”, so we thought it would be adequate to write Kaito with the kanji meaning “solution Dipper”. That’s the origin story behind Momota’s name. For his design, we started from the keyword “hot-blooded bro character” and tried many variations, until we ultimately decided to go with a face that’s both handsome and laughable, as he was supposed to be spending long amounts of time with Saihara. The purple uniform, the space print inside, the goatee, they were all Komatsuzaki’s ideas. Aditionally, we decided his talent should be astronaut that’s the best idea we got when we tried to think of how to the elevate the hot-blooded spirit of adventure to the extreme. Space really  is made of adventure, isn’t it! Also because it would be useful in the plot.

The very first thing we decided about him is that he would take the role of the bro character that makes the protagonist grow. We already the hot-blooded character in DR1 with Kiyotaka Ishimaru, but a motivational bro characters was not done in any previous entries. Additionally, adding Harukawa to form an unbalanced trio was another idea we had relatively early in development, thinking Harukawa’s growth would have a good contrast with Saihara’s growth. For V3 in particular, we consciously strived to write growth in every character and for these two in particular, I believe I managed to make their psychological changes much more visible than the rest due to Momota’s presence. When the characters was first presented, I saw a lot of fans saying he was “the new Hagakure”, but seeing how he impacted the protagonist, I believe Momota was the character whose fan impression changed the most before and after the game. 

Momota was a character I made myself, but he was actually heavily inspired by a bro character in a famous manga. Quite a few of his sprites show this, even... Who could it be?

Design Notes:

Hairstyle: A raging standoffish hairstyle. No matter how hard you try to trim it, it still this beautiful mess that closely resembles a space jet coming out of a black hole. 

T-shirt: His favorite t-shirt, one that show his unique fashion sense through the kumadori design stamped on it. Did he buy it because he like it or did he just pick the first thing he found?

Uniform: A fairly long blazer-type uniform Momota ordered a tailor to lenghten even more. He calls it Galactic Jacket. It’s decorated inside with his beloved space imagery. Just everything about it appeals to feeling of wanting to challenge the universe.

Muscles: Although he drove Saihara to do the night training, he is not doing any big exercises himself. He actually never finished his 50 sit-ups nor his 100 push-ups!

Right hand: For some reason he never wears his right sleeve, composing his shoulder jacket Momota Style. Does he perhaps keep the jacket fluttering because he wants to show everyone the space print?

Underwear: Momota’s favorite trunks. The use of the flashy black and red colors is not only eye-catching but it also represent the burning of the universe covering his important parts. It’s basically the big bang in an underwear.

Slippers: Slippers with the same space print as the inside of his uniform. They are okay to use indoors, but they suck to use in places with damage floorboards and muddy floors.

Favorite presents:

Splateen: A teen magazine filled to the brim with pictures of models in swimwear in the heights of summer. Momota’s wants to enjoy youth to its fullest, so he would wholeheartedly appreciate it.

Toy Moon Buggy: A plastic model of a moon exploration robot. It’s plain, but it’s one item filled with the spirit of adventure. A no-brainer when trying to choose a present to a man dreams of setting his legend in space.

Homeplanet: A home light that can make your room like a planetarium. It comes with narrations from popular seiyuus and it fills spirit of adventure to space.

Hated presents:

Japanese-style Wig: A wig with Japanese-style long straight black hair. No matter how much you cut it, the hair always grow back... Never tell Momota this kind of occult story.

Key Phrases:

Here Is The Super High School Level Prodigy!?: Momota was the first person in history to have become an astronaut trainee before the age of twenty. He took the astronaut exam through means he can’t publically say, but the examiners found impressive talent in him. He already had college-level academic knowledge, specially in languages. We couldn’t tell by his looks!? His future prospects are so promising he already got the name of “Super High School Level Astronaut” before he even flew to space. He must escape the Saishuu Academy as soon as possible to go meet his grandparents, who are eagerly waiting for his return!

The Super High School Level Boss and His Disciples: As an astronaut trainee, Momota’s talent was acknowledge by society. But he has already previously worked in various non-space-related fields. He work a lot as a “boss”, guiding special people to success. A Major League player, a Nobel winner, the Prime Minister, idols. Many found success in their lives thanks to his guidance and teachings. In other words, Momota is an expert in finding potential in people and improving them and his aim now is helping Saihara  stop averting his eyes and coming to terms with his talent. And he is not doing it by working on the basics of detective work, but by telling him he was his “assistant” and taking the responsibility for Saihara’s work. Momota is always hot-blooded and forceful, but he has some thoughtful moments?!

Men Should Just Shut Up and Train!: Due to the first case, his friends fell into distrust. In order to regain their seemingly lost union, his first step is to start training every night with his loyal disciple Saihara! Momota made him do 100 push-ups and told him “the impossible becomes possible once you accomplish it!”. Boss Momota didn’t do all of the physical work, but his speech work was on point!

Main quotes:

“Griiiiiit yooooouuurrr teeeeeeeethhhh!“: Saihara was suffering because he exposed someone’s crime and ruined their life. Seeing how he was such a weakling who couldn’t accept this despite of his talent, Momota felt the need as a man to show Saihara the right with his ever forgiving fists. The passionate friendship of high school kids is so wonderful! ...except you’re supposed to say “grit your teeth“ before you punch, not after...

“So what? The person in a woman’s underwear could have been anyone, even me!“: A case has happened one night. One testimony that could become an alibi said a woman in underwear was witnessed. Seeing someone in woman’s underwear would immediately lead to deducing the person was a woman. However, Momota presented the minimal possibility it was him...? Think about it rationally, he made some absurd declarations. As Shirogane put it “this would be an entirely different crime“!?

“N-No fucking way... it’s a motherfucking curse-! Cut that crap!!“: Monokuma suddenly mentions “reving the dead“. Bringing their recently dead friends back to life is so proposterous that obviously no one takes it seriosly. Except for Momota, who starts shivering, have breathing problems and losing his appetite. And as the undesirable situation escalates, people start commenting about the curse of the dead. With this intense yell, he pathetically clings to Harukawa. Even after Harukawa replies “You’re the one who... should cut the crap...! D-d-... do you wanna die-!?“, he show no signs of letting go... Despite how forceful and luck-pushing he is, he gets really weak when it comes to ghost stories. Teeheehee.

Final comment: People get hot-blooded just by standing next to him!? When he has something decided, he goes for it without listening to what anyone has to say about it. The luminary’s burning reverberating soul would never fade away inside Saishuu’s walls!

[justjen523]

The Birthday Blunder

For: goddess-of-leo  (Happy Birthday!)

Raiting M

Reader x Leon

For Fun I am also working on an art piece that shows Leon in his Kingly form. I will post it when I am finished. Hope you enjoy!

     It was a disaster. Everything that had been so carefully planned for weeks was ruined in a mere moment. Speechless I just stood in the doorway of the living room with my mouth agape and my eyes filling with tears. Yet somehow I still managed to go unnoticed as the gods quarreled among themselves. The beautiful cake I handmade because I wanted to share this special day for me with the twelve gods who had become such an intricate part of my life decorated many areas of the room. The decorations tattered, even what had appeared to be presents were trampled and all I could do was stand there in complete shock.

     “W-Why?” I finally asked yet my voice was so quiet amidst the loud insults and profanity being exchanged mere feet away. By some miracle Aigonorous was the one to hear me and pointed to where I was standing. As one by one each head turned in my direction the previously chaotic room fell quiet.

     “Goldfish. What are you doing here, you’re supposed to still be working.” Leon actually had the nerve to look agitated by my unannounced arrival. I could feel the anger rising within as I looked around at the destruction and lack of remorse from everyone. They truly must not understand how much time and effort when into all of this. It was MY birthday and here I was thinking of them instead of myself and this is the thanks I get? I couldn’t swallow my anger any further.

     “Animals!”

     “I beg your pardon?” Zyglavis says incredulously.

     “All of you! Behaving like animals!”

     “What did you call me?!” For once Scorpio’s glare didn’t even register to me.

     “Now hold on, I get why you’re angry but it’s not that big of a deal - “ Leon started to say but the hurt was bubbling over especially hearing my boyfriend’s careless indifference. 

     “Not that big of a deal?! How dare you!” Looking around they all stared at me in surprise. I had never yelled or scolded Leon in front of the other’s before. 

     “Wooooow. She’s like REAAAALLY scary when she’s mad.” Ichthys tries whispering to Dui but it’s not like I couldn’t hear it in the silence of the room.

     “I....” Realizing my birthday was ruined and they didn’t even seem to care the anger gave way to hurt. All at once my emotions poured out in the form of tears and I began to sob.

     “Now look what you guys have done...” Leon sounded angry but I knew he was shaken. He hated when I cried because of something he had done but more than that, he hated when I cried in front of anyone other than him.

     “Us? I believe you are equally to blame.” Huedhaut boldly replied earning a fiercely angry look from the ruler of Leo.

     “I.....*sob* think I.....*hic*....” I stopped before saying the next word. Even now I am still always putting their feelings before my own.

     “You what?” Krioff asked brusquely only further breaking my heart.

     “I...wish I never met you. Any of you!” There, I said it even though I absolutely did not mean it but I was sick of always being the considerate one. I wanted them to feel it like I did and I couldn’t think of another way even if it was harsh and cruel sounding. 

     I had been staring at my feet but when I looked up I was surprised at what I saw. Twelve truly pained and heartbroken expressions stared directly at me. I wanted so badly to apologize and take it back but if I did they would never learn and this kind of stuff would continue to happen. I couldn’t handle it anymore.

     “I’m going home, I can’t stand to be here anymore.” Tears still streaming down my face I turned to leave.

     “Goldfish.” His voice was gentle and full of sadness. I knew it hurt him more than any of the others but that pain had gone both ways. I thought of all of them he would have understood better than anyone how important this all had been to me.

     “I...just want to be alone. All alone, in my apartment, on my birthday.” I quickly made my way toward the exit but was impeded by the door abruptly closing and locking from the other side. I knew it was his handiwork but I didn’t even bother to turn around.

     “Let me pass.”

     “I can’t do that. Not like this.”

     “I don’t want to - “

     “- be around us I know, you already said so.”

     “Then let me go.”

     “Not until we make this right.” At his words I slowly turn to face him. He slowly crosses the room almost apprehensively but pushes forward till we are face to face. I can see the realization of the pain they caused in his beautiful eyes. He gently runs the back of his hand down my tear stained cheek.

     “I will grant whatever your heart desires. Just tell me what you want. I...don’t want to see you like this anymore. I’m......”

     “...you’re what?” He’ll never do it. Impossible. He stares at me intently for a few moments before furrowing his brow and sighing deeply.

     “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right, what we did was...”

     “....stupid? Immature? Ridiculous?” I was laying it on pretty thick even though the unthinkable had just happened.

     “D-Did Leon seriously just apologize to someone?” Hearing that he glared at the culprit before turning back to me.

     “Yeah, we were acting like - “

     “Animals.” I finished his sentence crossing my arms in front of me.

     “We get it. Everyone’s sorry, right guys?” His dangerously intense stare caused apology after apology from every god in the room.

     “What can I do to make you smile?” He asks tenderly. Still slightly aggravated I try to think of a way for them to make it up to me. Staring into his eyes I can’t help but think the same thing I always do. How handsome and though arrogant I have come to find his royalty vibe endearing. He made all of the other Zodiac gods apologize to me, a mere human with nothing more than a look. ‘My Leon. My brave and fearsome Lion....’ If only he were able to be tamed like a Lion. How adorable would that be? My own personal big bad kitty. Teehee!

**POOF**

     Out of nowhere a cute little box with a big pink bow manifests out of thin air right in my hands.

     “What on Earth?” As soon as I begin to pull the ribbon Leon’s face turns ashen.

     “Goldfish don’t - “ But it’s too late, inside the box is a tiny piece of paper that simply says,

     “Happy Birthday,  From the King.” ‘Huh?’ All of the sudden the room is engulfed in a blinding light and I shield my eyes waiting for it to pass. When it does the sight before me is so ridiculously precious and adorable I can’t help the giggling that follows. 

     “O-Oh my gosh! You guys are...all SO cute! Eeee!” I sound like a little kid but I can’t help it, seeing them like this makes it impossible not to smile from ear to ear.

     “Goddamn that bastard. Stupid woman! Why the hell did you open that?!” Scorpio is so adorable that his words don’t even sound frightening to me.

     “Ummm. Seriously though, why cats?” Krioff blushes looking put out as his white ears turn backward in distress. 

     “This is great! Teo and Ikky pull each other’s tail’s to see if it hurts when they do so.

     “Wow! These tails are SO real!”

     “Why just ears and tails though?” Dui ponders as the rest of the gods are all touching their new additions.

     It isn’t till I actually get a good look at Leon that my heart nearly gives out. He looks utterly PISSED but is so cute it’s actually fitting. Not only does he have the ears and tale but he also has a mane.

     “Teehee.”

     “Don’t you dare laugh. This is all your fault. You better figure out how to turn me back. Now.” A giant smile spreads across my face.

     “Nuh-uh. You said you would grant any wish my heart desired. I want to enjoy seeing all of you like this for the rest of the day! You all still owe me a party anyway right?” I am beaming, what a great gift from the King! I know I am going to pay dearly for it later but oh it is SO worth it.

     “You’re awfully bold demanding such nonsense from gods.” Zyglavis as always is angry but it comes across adorably as his fluffy purplish tail flicks sharply back and forth. 

     “Teeheehee. Somehow you don’t seem as scary to me now Zyglavis. You’re fluffiness makes you look much kinder.” I can’t stop myself from scratching behind his ear making him blush so hard it just makes it even cuter.

      “You can pet me too if you want.” Ichthys offers playfully before getting a scowl that actually makes Leon look like a beast rather than a cute animal. I approach him and though he looks angry I see relief in his eyes to see me smiling.

     “Don’t even think about it.” He grumbles as I start to reach out to touch him. 

     “Call it what you will but I am not your pet.” I try hard to suppress the laughter threatening to pour out.

     “Awww, who’s my big bad kitty?” I say in a teasing way earning me a death glare but it quickly gives way to a devious smirk.

     “You’re awfully brave, you do realize that Lions often enjoy eating seafood. You must have a death wish goldfish.” ‘Eeeep! That grin is extra scary with him looking this predatory.’ As he begins to close in on me I begin to shrink away but when I notice his tail waving around playfully something different pops into my mind altogether. ‘He’s still got a man’s body....I wonder....’

     “Pffft. You’re thinking about something pretty bold.” His words snap me back to reality and causes me to blush deeply even as I try desperately to deny it.

     “I....” Before I can finish I hear a commotion  behind me. The gods have been taking turns testing to see if their powers could undo the King’s spell but as always he’s one step ahead making that impossible. 

     “If we have to look this ridiculous why doesn’t she join us.” Scorpio smirks darkly. The gods all grin and nod in amusement as they close in on me. I slowly back away before calling for Leon. When I turn to face him I am surprised to see him actually looking like he approves of the others idea. 

     “N-Now just hold on a minute! T-this isn’t it...” 

**SNAP**

     Leon is actually the one who does it making the whole thing kinda of embarrassing as the others all look at me the same way I was previously looking at them. 

     “Woooow! He even gave her a cute little nose and whiskers!” Ichthys grins from ear to ear. 

     “Ohhh! She has paws too!” Dui gushes making me feel like I am going to die from embarrassment.

     “My my Leon, what a lucky man you are tonight.” The way Partheno says that makes me somehow uncomfortable. When I turn to look at my boyfriend he is looking the most entertained I have ever seen him.

     “What? This is what you wanted.” He says smugly giving me that smile I want to simultaneously smack and kiss him for. Instead I am handed a mirror to see my new....attire. 

     “H-Hey! What’s with the cute stuff?! Couldn’t you have made me, I don’t know, like a sexy cat?”

     “What’s wrong with the way you are? I prefer you this way. Besides, it suits you better.” ‘! What’s that supposed to mean!?’

     “Well I must admit, Leon doesn’t strike me as the kind who likes pink.” Partheno says suggestively.

     “You shouldn’t be thinking about what I like at all you pervert.” As the two go back and forth I again look at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t look exactly like the others. I’m more feline than they are and even some of my human features have changed simply to match the rest. Everything is pink. My fluffy ears, fluffy tail, my eyes, my hair, my paws, even my clothes have been changed into a cute little pink ensemble. I had no idea my boyfriend was into such things! ‘Ahaha! Happy Birthday to ME!’

     As I look over at Leon being aggressive in his current state I can’t help but feel more attracted to him than usual. I slowly move closer to him and once I’m close enough I feel this overwhelming urge to nuzzle against him. When I do he immediately tenses and I can see a faint blush on his cheeks and for some reason I actually start purring. 

     “Looks like your stupid woman’s in heat, better handle that before someone else does.” Scorpio’s comment causes a slew of arguments and having had enough Leon wraps his arm around me and snaps.

     He brought us to his room in the Heaven’s without so much as a word but when I looked up to see his face he didn’t look angry like I expected. No, he was looking at me like I was dessert. I swallowed thickly slowly backing away making him laugh.

     “Do you honestly believe you can escape me? I’d actually like to see you try.” He was smiling at me wickedly causing a sweet rush of sensation through me. I was terrified but equally turned on somehow. I liked when he was dominating and seeing him aggressively hunting me was intoxicating. 

     “Obey me and come here.” There was no way I could refuse him. Not when he was looking at me this way. Slowly I made my way till I was directly in front of him, a mere breath apart. Even now he still had such a powerful commanding presence. 

     “That’s my good girl.” Then he started petting me. Everywhere. God did it feel GOOD. Too good. I was becoming putty in his hands.

     “L-Leon.......unnnh.” I felt like I was high. Utterly intoxicated.

     “That’s right, give in. Purr for me.” His sensual sexy voice was lulling me further into this strange heady haze I was feeling. My vision was blurring and I felt dizzy but in a strangely good way. His arms scooped me up and carried me to his bed where he gently laid me down before hovering over me. My desire for him was overwhelming as it was somehow amplified but this euphoric feeling washing over me.

     “L-Leon I....I feel....”

     “Good then it’s working.”

     “H-huh? What’s....mmm....working?” I was trying desperately to hold on and not lose myself but I was failing miserably.

     “This.” He smiles mischievously and opens his mouth to reveal a tiny purple flower with a few leaves still attached. Confused I blinked starting to become unable to speak.

     “Since you were enjoying this feline fantasy of yours so very much I thought I’d have a little fun of my own. You’re feeling the effects of this plant. I believe it’s what you humans refer to as catnip.” ‘Wh-Whaaa?’

     “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you feel so good you’re going to beg me to never turn you back.” Without another word he playfully nipped my neck before removing our clothes with a snap. As he entered me my head tipped back at the exquisite sensation and let out a quiet gasp. There’s a tenderness behind his eyes and no longer able to fight it I give myself over to him mind, body and soul.

     “I am sorry for what happened earlier. It was not my intention to ruin this day for you. Though I may not understand it’s significance I understand your heart and I’m sorry for breaking it today. I promise to put your feelings in front of my own from now on so please. Promise me you’ll never say you regret having met me ever again. I love you more than you could possibly fathom goldfish. You make think me the king of all animals but I assure you, I will always treat you as my queen, animal, human, god or otherwise.” He wipes the tears from my eyes upon hearing his confession and I cuddle into his warmth.

     “Can I ask just one question?” 

     “Hm?”

     “What on Earth were you guys fighting over that caused such destruction in the first place?”

     “Pffft. That foul mouthed Scorpion and his idiot boss were heckling me when I showed up without a wrapped present in hand and starting spouting off about things they shouldn’t.” 

     “I don’t need a present from you to be happy. I’m happy now just like this, safely snuggled in your arms.”

     “How ridiculous.”

     “Leon!”

     “It’s ridiculous that you think I would have nothing to give you on your birthday. I could give you anything you asked of me. However I could not give you anything more valuable to me than my heart. No one makes me feel the way you do. No one ever has and no one ever will. I will lavish you in my love until you beg for me to stop.”

     “Geeze Leon.” My cheeks and ears are hot upon hearing his words.

     “But thank you. There is nothing I could ever want more than that. I love you with every fiber of my being.” As I gaze up into those gorgeous eyes the love I feel for him is reflected right back at me. A tender smile fills his handsome face as he reached his hand out and scratches behind my ear causing me to purr again.

     “You know, I think I could get used to this. You make a better cat than a goldfish anyway.”

     “Wait what!? What’s that supposed to mean?”

     “You’re far more obedient this way.”

     “H-Hey!” I teasingly hit his arm making him laugh. 

     “As long as your mine, I don’t care what you want to be.” I smile at him getting misty eyed again.

     “Happy Birthday goldfish. I love you more than any words could ever say.”

-Fin-

[fun-with-colors]

Ok OP I need you to know that this exact thing happened with me and my partner.

Context: it was a week-long trip to France with a group, and I didn’t really know anyone.

Highlights:

-on the second night, we went to the Eiffel Tower. He joked that he was sad he wouldn’t get to do the iconic “kiss at the top of the Eiffel Tower” thing, and before I could think it through I said “well, I’m game” and of course after I had said it I couldn’t just back out, so...

we ended up basically playing ring around the Rosie around the top of the Eiffel Tower, unfortunately(?)

At that point, I genuinely was just thinking about it platonically. But. Uh. In hindsight, if a guy wants to kiss you at the top of the Eiffel Tower, maybe “platonic” isn’t the best way to think of it lmao

-during the third day, we joked about how Paris was “the city of love,” and “oh, so many couples would KILL to be here! But it’s just us! Oh! What if we treated this whole thing overly dramatically, just as a joke about how seriously everyone takes the whole ‘city of love’ thing?” And... both of us thought we were being sly with that. Neither of us considered that the other might be trying to do the same thing.

-on the fourth day, we went to the palace of Versailles. Joked about it, “do you want to go for a walk in the gardens of Versaiiilllles with me?” “Oh yes, of course I would, teeheehee! Oh, how lovely!” And even took a picture of ourselves on a “fake date” getting crepes at Versailles.

-AT Versailles, he joked that “wouldn’t it be funny if, by the end of the week, these fake dates ended up being real dates?” And then my brain crashed and had to reboot. The crazy thing was, I was not thinking “is he saying that he wants that???”, I was thinking “how the HELL do i respond to that without giving the game away??”

So I just responded with a fun fact that yes, in fact, time spent together IS related to perceived closeness, so honestly, in a hypothetical situation similar to this one, it wouldn’t be the LEAST surprising thing.

Thankfully, one of us had finally gotten some sort of hint by the time we were on the bus back to Paris, and we had a whole 15 minute talk about the whole situation as if it were hypothetical. And then we realized that we were both idiots. “Wait, you were trying to—but I was trying to do that!”

So, in conclusion: I can confirm that it is entirely possible for two people to be that stupid

i have an idea for a yuriclaude fic where both of them has a crush on the other but because both of them are so good at hiding their true feelings/intentions, neither of them can be really sure if the other one feels the same way so they both end up thinking their crushes are unrequited. they’ll both flirt with each other but neither of them can figure out if the other is being facetious or genuine and they’ll try to pry information out of each other but it’s just. not. working.

i just. the appeal of two people who are so clever that they end up constantly outmaneuvering and dancing around each other, who are so smart that they end up becoming chaotic dumbasses because neither one of them can ever just say what they’re thinking, is something i’m absolutely obsessed with

[kaialone]

Yokai Watch 3 Sukiyaki Translation

(Masterpost for my Yokai Watch translations can be found here)

This will contain spoilers for a post-game sidequest of Yokai Watch 3, so proceed with caution.

With that being said, this will be a translation of the entire “Homeland Japan is a Double World?” sidequest.

This is a quest that was added in Sukiyaki (and I think the 2.3 Update for Sushi and Tempura?) which features prominent yokai from the 3rd movie.

From what I can tell in order to start this quest you need to talk to Whisper at Nate’s house in Japan after the end of the game.

The title of this quest seems to be a reference to the title of the movie and maybe the title of this ending song of the anime?

I’ll go through these scene by scene. (There will be links to watch the scenes on youtube, too.)

Bolded is original japanese; for reference and in case someone who is better at japanese than I reads this, and feels like correcting something.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

(Number) Indicates I got a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

Please keep in mind that I´m a beginner when it comes to japanese, so it’s possible that I make mistakes, too.

Talking to Whisper:

Whisper: ふぅ〜 USAもよかったですが こちらのお家も また落ち着きますね〜。 Phew, the USA was nice too, but I'll settle down in this house here again, too.

Whisper: そういえば ケータくん USAから帰ってきた時… That reminds me Nate, when we came back from the USA...

Whisper: 小学校のおともだちが でむかえに 来てくださいましたよね〜。 Your friends from school came to pick you up.

Nate: うん フミちゃんまで 来てくれて うれしかったな〜。 Yeah, even Katie was there, I was so happy.

Whisper: それは良かったでうぃすね〜♪ I'm glad, whis♪

Nate: でも オレがこっちにいない間って フミちゃんたち 何してたんだろ〜？ Though, what were Katie and the others were doing while we were away?

Nate: 気になるなぁ…。 I wonder...

Jibanyan: だったら 今からみんなに 会いに行ったらどうニャン？ Then why don't you go see them all nyow, nyan? (1)

Jibanyan: USAであったこととか お互いの話をすればいいニャ〜ン♪ You should have a chat, like about when you were in the USA, nyaaan♪

Mission Page: 再び さくらニィータウンへと 帰ってきた 天野家と妖怪たち。 ひさしぶりに みんなで集合して USAの冒険の思い出を話そう！ The Adams family and the yōkai have returned to Springdale again. Let's gather everyone together for the first time in forever, and reminisce about the adventures in the USA!

Nate: それイイね！ じゃあさ ひさびさに学校に集合！ …とかどうかな？ That sounds nice! Well then, let's meet up at the elemtary school, for the first time in a while! ...How about something like that?

Whisper: おおっ！ それはグッドアイディアでうぃすー♪ Ohh! That's a Good Idea, whis♪

Whisper: では小学校に おともだちをお呼びして みんなで おしゃべりいたしましょ〜！ So then, let's ask all your friends to come to the elementary school and chat with all of them!

Note:

Just a small one, but for clarification, in the japanese version, in addition to ending his sentences with “-nyan”, Jibanyan replaces a lot of “na” sounds with “nya”. This is why in the english adaptation he tends to replace “N” sounds with “Ny” sounds.

--

Entering the School:

???: ぷくくぷぅ…！ Pukukupuu...!

Whisper: フッ 学校に着きましたね…。 いつ来ても ここは変わりませんね〜。 Hmph, looks like we made it to the school... No matter how often we come here, this place never changes. (1)

Jibanyan: やれやれ… なんだか 風が目に しみやがるニャン…。 Good grief... The wind is kinda stinging my eyes, nyan...

Nate: なにィィィィ〜！？ ふたりとも やけに顔が 「濃ゆい」ぞ！？ Whaaaaat!? Both your faces got totally "intense" !? (2)

Whisper: そういうケータくんこそ かーなーりー濃ゆいですぜ？ You say that, but you're PRETTY intense, aren't you, Nate?

Nate: なんだってェェェェ〜！？ いったい どうしちまったんだ…？ Say whaaaaat!? What the heck is going on...?

Mr. Johnson: ヨォ ケータ！ ひさしぶりだな！ 元気にしてやがったか？ Yo, Nate! Long time no see! Have you been doing well?

Nate: うわ〜！ なんか先生まで 濃ゆ〜くなってるんですけど！？ Uwahh! Somehow even Mr. Johnson got inteeense!? (3)

Whisper: う〜む なぜかは知りませんが みなさん濃ゆ〜くなってやがりますね。 Hmm, we don't know why, but everyone has become inteeense.

Nate: てことは まさかフミちゃんたちも…！？ Wait, don't tell me that happened to Katie and the others, too...!?

Whisper: ケータくん！ ５年２組の教室へ 急ぎましょう！ Nate! Let's hurry to Year 5 Class 2's classroom!

Notes:

From what I understand, the weird style everyone’s faces take on is in reference to dramatic japanese visual novels, and it doesn’t just affect their looks but also their manner of speaking as well.

The word I translated as “intense” here is 濃ゆい/koyui, which can mean something like deep or dark (with a color), or strong (like a flavor), and for faces it seems to refer to rather distinct faces, but for this context I thought “intense” fit well, personally.

In the japanese version, Mr. Johnson is just called “Homeroom Teacher”.

--

Entering the Classroom:

Katie: ふぅ おそいじゃないケータ もう待ちくたびれちゃった…。 Hmph, took you long enough, Nate. I'm already tired of waiting...

Nate: うわっ！ やっぱりフミちゃんまで 濃ゆ〜くなってやがる！！ Uwahh! Katie really did get inteeense, to!!

Bear: おいおい 何言ってんだ？ お前の濃ゆさには 負けるぜ。 Come on, what youre talking about? You're more intense than us. (1)

Eddie: なんせUSA帰りと きたもんだからなぁ〜。 Must be because you came back from the USA.

Jibanyan: ニャンてこった！ クラスのみんな 濃ゆ〜くなっちゃってるニャン！ What the heck! Everyone in class got inteeense, nyan!

Katie: ウフフ… で 聞かせてもらえるのよね…？ Teeheehee... So, are you gonna tell us...?

Katie: USAで きみがしてきた… すっごい… ケ・イ・ケ・ン…♡ About the... amazing... e x p e r i e n c e s  ... you had in the USA...♡

Nate: なにィィィ！？ 顔だけじゃない！ なんか いつものフミちゃんとちがう！ Whaaaat!? It's not just the face! She's kinda different from how Katie normally is!

Whisper: ええ みょうにセクシーというか… 性格まで濃ゆ〜くなっちゃってますね！ Yeah, weirdly flirtatious, or should I say... even her personality got inteeense!

Nate: いったい どうして こんなことに なっちゃったワケ…！？ Why the heck did this happen...!?

???: それは〜… 映画撮影のためデース！ It is... for a film shooting! (2)

Nate: Mr. ムービーン！？ Mr. Movien!?

Whisper: やーっぱり アナタのしわざですかい！ いったい 今度はどんな映画を！？ Of course this is all your doing! Just what kind of movie is it gonna be this time!?

Mr. Movien: 次の作品は テッテー的にこだわって リアルでオトナな映画にしマース！ For my next work I will completely focus on making a realistic and adult movie!

Mr. Movien: デスから〜… 「彼」に 協力してもらうことにしたのデース！ Therefore... I decided to work together with "him"!

???: ぷくぷくぅ〜！ Puku pukuu!

Mr. Movien: 彼の名前は コアラニャン。 His name is Koalanyan.

Mr. Movien: どんな顔でも 「濃ゆ〜く」してくれる名人… スペシャリストなんデース！ An expert who can make any face "inteeense"... A specialist, even!

Koalanyan: ぷく！ ぷくぷくぅ〜！！ Puku! Puku pukuu!!

Mr. Movien: 今度 私が撮る新作映画のコンセプトは… ズバリ「圧倒的リアル感」 ！！ The concept of the movie I am shooting this time is... in short "Overwhelming Realism" !!

Mr. Movien: CGでは出せない リアリティを追求！ 役者も とことんリアルにするのデース！ Pursuit of reality that CG can not put out! The actors also make it absolutely realistic!

Nate: いやいやいや！ だからって勝手に こんな顔にすんじゃねぇよぉぉぉ〜！ No, no, no! You can't just make our faces like that just because you want to! (3)

Nate: てか オレたち 元の顔に もどれるんだろーな！？ I mean, can we get our old faces back!?

Mr. Movien: ノープロブレム！ ご安心くだサーイ！ ある 「ボタン」を押せば もどれマース！ No problem! Do not worry! If you push a certain "button" you will go back to normal!

Koalanyan: ぷくぷくぅ〜！ Puku Pukuu!

Mr. Movien: さあ このコアラニャンの 「お鼻」を ぷにっと押すのデース！ Now, give the "nose" of Koalanyan here a little push!

Notes:

I’m a bit unsure about the second line here, but I think it’s something like this? Literally translated it is something like: “We’re losing to your intense-ness”.

In the japanese version Mr. Movien drags out the endings of his sentences, and they’re written in katakana, implying he pronounces them a bit unusual, which in this manner is often used to imply that a person has an accent. Adding to that he occasionally uses english words, implying his first language is supposed to be english. I’m a bit less sure about this next part, but from what I can tell his manner of speaking is also somewhat formal, which is somewhat common with foreigners, as they’re more likely to learn formal japanese first.

What I translated as “Just because you want to” is 勝手に/Katte ni, which means something like “arbitrarily”, but I felt that “Just because you want to” is a fair way to translate this.

--

Giving Koalanyan’s Nose a little Push:

Koalanyan: ぷくぅ…？ Pukuu...?

Mr. Movien: おっ コアラニャンのお鼻 ぷにっと押しちゃうデース？ Oh, are you going to give Koalanyan's nose a little push?

(hit the button)

Jibanyan: あっ ケータの顔 いつもの感じに  もどってるニャン！ Ah, your face is back to the way it always is, Nate!

Nate: えっ！ ホント！？ ジバニャンも いつものジバニャンだよ！ What? Really!? You're the same Jibanyan as always too, Jibanyan!

Whisper: ふぅ〜 やっぱりこの顔が一番 さっぱりしてて 落ちつきますねぇ〜♪ Phew~ This face is the best after all, I feel completely calmed down ♪

Jibanyan: べつにウィスパーの顔は どーでもいいニャン。 Actually, with Whisper's face it doesn't matter which it is, nyan.

Whisper: ンだと コラァ！？ What was that!?

Mr. Movien: それじゃあ さっそく撮影に入りマース！ では みなさん また濃ゆ〜い顔に… Well then, shooting will begin immediately! Alright everyone, turn your faces inteeense again...

Nate: ええっ！？ オレたちも映画に出るの！？ イヤだよ あんな顔！！ Huhh!? We're going to be in the movie, too!? I don't want that face!!

Mr. Movien: ケータくん じつは ココだけの話… Actually, just between you and me, Nate...

Mr. Movien: あの 「フミちゃん」 というガールを ヒロイン役にしようと思ってマース…。 I am planning to cast that girl named "Katie" in the role of the heroine...

Nate: えっ！ フミちゃんも出るの？ What! Katie is in it, too?

Mr. Movien: イエ〜ス そして今回の映画は リアルでオトナな ラブストーリー… Yes, and this movie will be a realistic and adult love story...

Mr. Movien: 撮影中 ヒロインとふたりっきりで ロマンチ〜ックなムードになることも… During the shooting together, all alone with the heroine, the mood will get pretty romantic, too...

Nate: ええっ…！？ Whaat...!?

Mr. Movien: では もう一度 質問しマース！ 私の映画に出マスカ〜？  出マセンカ〜？ So, I will ask you again! Will you be in my movie? Will you not?

Nate: よろこんで やらせていただきます…！ I will gladly do it...!

Whisper: ええ〜！？ さっきと態度が まるっきり ちがうんですけど〜！！ Huh!? That sounded completely different a second ago!!

Mr. Movien: OK！ そう言ってくれると信じてマーシタ！ OK! I thought you would say that!

Mr. Movien: 最初の撮影は 「校長室」でやりマース！ 濃ゆ〜い顔になって来てくだサーイ！ The first shooting will be in the "Principal's office"! Please go there with your face turned inteeense!

--

At the Principal’s Office:

Nate: コアラニャンの鼻を押せば 「濃ゆ〜い」顔になっちゃうんだよね…。 If I push Koalanyan's nose, my face is gonna get "inteeense"...

-

Mr. Movien: オー 待ってマシター！ Oh, I have been waiting!

Mr. Movien: この 「校長室」では リアルな会議シーンを撮影しマース！ In this "Principal's office" we will shoot a realistic Meeting Scene!

Bear: ケータ よろしくな！ I'm counting on you, Nate!

Mr. Movien: 彼には 「エライ人」役として このシーンに出てもらいマース！ He plays the role of an "Important Person", and will appear in this scene!

Nate: いったい どんなシーンになるんだろう…？ Just what is this scene gonna end up being...?

Mr. Movien: では 本番いきマース！ ３…２…１… ス…タートッ！ Now, the recording begins! 3...2...1... START!

-

Bear: 本当に無茶なことばかり 押しつけてくるんだな あの人は…。 That person is really pushing for a lot of reckless things... (1)

Mr. Movien: カーーットゥ！！ OKデーース！！！ CUUUT!! OK!!!

Bear: ふぅ なかなかムズカしい演技だったぜ！ Phew, acting is really difficult!

Nate: お おつかれ…。 G-good job...

Mr. Movien: 次は 「理科室」で撮影しマース！ 濃ゆ〜い顔のままで集合してくだサーイ！ Next we will shoot in the "Science Room"! Please gather there and keep inteeense faces!

Note:

I’m a bit unsure about this line.

--

At the Science Room:

Mr. Movien: さあ ドンドン撮影していきマスヨー！ Now, let us start shooting right away!

Mr. Movien: この「理科室」では リアルな研究シーンを撮影しマース！ In this "Science Room" we will shoot a realistic Researching Scene!

Eddie: ケータ いい作品を作るためだ。 いっしょに がんばろう。 It's to create a good work of art, Nate. Let's both do our best.

Inaho: グフフ… ワタシは超デキる天才科学者… もう誰もワタシを止めることはできない…。 Hehehe... I'm a super capable genius scientist... Now no one can stop me... (1)

Nate: なっ…！ イナホさん…！？ どうして ここに！？ Wha...! Inaho...!? Why are you here!?

Mr. Movien: 彼らは 「研究者」 役として スカウトしたのデース！！ I scouted these two for the roles of "Researchers"!!

Whisper: たしかに 物知りなカンチくんは 研究者って感じがしますけど… The knowledgeable Eddie certainly has a researcher-like feel to him, but...

Jibanyan: イナホは どっちかというと 悪くてヤバげな科学者って感じニャン…。 If anything, Inaho feels like an evil, dangerous scientist, nyan...

Nate: う〜ん このシーンも いったい どんな感じになるんだろう…？ Hmm, now how is this scene gonna end up feeling like...?

Mr. Movien: では 本番いきマース！ ３…２…１… ス…タートッ！ Now, the recording begins! 3...2...1... START!

-

Eddie: ふっ…  博士が 「アレ」 を 生み出したなんて… ありえませんよ。 Hmph... There is no way that the professor created... "that".

Inaho: ですが このデータを見てください。 「アレ」 と 「コレ」 が一致しています。 But, please have a look at this data. "That" and "this" fit together.

Eddie: あーっ！ あああああああーーー！！ こんなのアリィィィ〜！？ Ah-! Ahhhhhhhh!! Is this possible!? (2)

Inaho: 本当に おそろしいのは ワタシたち 「人間」ね…。 Truly terrifying, us "humans", that is...

Mr. Movien: カーーットゥ！！ OKデーース！！！ CUUUT!! OK!!!

Eddie: ハハハ ちょっと緊張しちゃったよ。 いや〜 作品の出来上がりがたのしみだね。 Hahaha, I was kinda nervous. Man, I'm looking forward to seeing the finished product.

Inaho: ワタシのセリフ あれだけ！？ これじゃあ 役作りした意味がないです！ My lines are just that!? I didn't even need to practise, then!

Nate: お おつかれ…。 G-good job...

Mr. Movien: 今度は 「音楽室」で撮影しマース！ 濃ゆ〜い顔で集合してくだサーイ！ This time we will shoot in the "Music Room"! Please gather there with inteeense faces!

Notes:

I’m a bit unsure about the “capable” part of this line.

A bit unsure about this line as well. I think it’s something like an idiom that means something like “Is that allowed” and the like, but yeah, not 100% sure.

--

At the Music Room:

Mr. Movien: オー 待ってマシター！ これでキャストは 全員集合デスネー！ Oh, I have been waiting! With that, the entire cast is assembled!

Jibanyan: ニャ？ フミちゃんやカンチたち… みんな勢ぞろいニャンね。 Nya? Katie, Eddie, and the others... They're all mustered here, nyan.

Mr. Movien: ここでは 主人公がリーダーとなって チームを起ち上げるシーンを撮りマース！ Here we will shoot the scene where the protagonist becomes a leader, and builds up the team!

Nate: 主人公ってことは… オレが みんなのリーダー！？ With protagonist you mean... I'm supposed to be everyone's leader!?

Whisper: おおっ！ いい役じゃないえすか！ Ohh! A nice role, isn't it!

Katie: ハァーイ ケータ！ トゥギャザーできて うれしいわ！ Hi, Nate! I'm so glad we're doing this together! (1)

Nate: え？ 何だって？ フミちゃん そのしゃべり方は…？ Huh? What did you say? Katie, what's with that way of speaking...?

Katie: ソーリー！ これヒロインの役作りなの。 USA帰りのキャリアウーマン役だから。 Sorry! It's because of this heroine role. The role is a career woman, who is a returnee from the USA.

Katie: …というワケで あなたのグッドなお芝居 期待してるわよ リーダー♡ ...So, I'm expecting you to put on a good performance, leader ♡

Nate: ああ！ まかせてくれ！！ Yeah! Leave it to me!!

Mr. Movien: では 本番いきマース！ ３…２…１… ス…タートッ！ Now, the recording begins! 3...2...1... START!

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Nate: あきらめず！ 最後まで見捨てずに このチームために がんばろう！ Don't give up! Let's give it our all for this team, and not falter until the end!

Mr. Movien: カーーットゥ！！ OKデーース！！！ CUUUT!! OK!!!

Mr. Movien: さあ 次はいよいよラストシーン！ 最後の撮影となりマース！！ Now, at last, next is the Final Scene! This will be the final shooting!!

Mr. Movien: 登場人物は 主人公とヒロインだけ！ ふたりっきりで撮影しマース！ The only characters are the protagonist and the heroine! It will be filmed with you two together.

Nate: ロマンチックなフンイキになれば きっと あんなことや こんなことも ムフフフ… If the atmosphere get romantic, then this and that will probably happen, Ehehehe...

Jibanyan: ケータ ニヤニヤしすぎニャン…。 Nate is smirking, nyan...

Whisper: まあ 何をかんがえているのかは 大体わかりますが… Well, I think I have a rough idea of what he is thinking about...

Nate: うおーっ！ なんか燃えてきたぜー！！ Gahh! I'm kinda getting fired up!!

Mr. Movien: では 濃ゆ〜い顔ままで 「屋上」までお願いしマース！！ Now then, please keep your faces inteeense, and come to the "Rooftop"!!

Note:

At this point Katie starts using english words in her speech, since she plays the role of someone who has lived in the USA for a while, and that’s why Nate is confused for a moment.

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At the Rooftop:

Mr. Movien: フフフ お待ちかねの ヒロインとふらりっきりでの撮影デース！ Huhuhu, it is the long-awaited shooting together with the heroine alone!

Katie: ケータ わたしのこと うまくリィードしてね OK？ Nate, please lead me well, OK?

Nate: よ ヨロシク オ願イシマス…！ I- I am looking forward to it...! (1)

Whisper: ガッチガチに緊張しまくりじゃないですか！ 撮影 あんなんで大丈夫なんでしょうか？ He's not getting nervous and freezing up now, is he? Is the shooting going to be alright like this?

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Mr. Movien: では 本番いきマース！ ３…２… Now, the recording begins! 3...2...

Jibanyan: ニャニャ！？ 地震でも起こったニャン？ Nyanya!? An earthquake?

Daiyōki Hogewhale: ホゲェェェェェ〜！ Hogeeeeeeh! (2)

Bear: うわ〜！ なんだありゃ〜！？ Uwahh! What is that!?

Eddie: もしかして… クジラ！？ にしてもデカすぎない？ Is that... a whale!? Even though it's not that big? (3)

Mr. Movien: ノォ〜！ 想定外デース！！ あんなの知りマゼーン！ Nooo! This is unexpected! I do not know about that one!

Whisper: ええ〜？ あのクジラ ムービーンのしわざじゃないんですか〜！？ Huh? That Whale is not Movien's doing!?

Daiyōki Hogewhale: ホゲェェェェェ〜！ Hogeeeeeeh!

Katie: アンビリーバボー！ あのクジラ もしかして わたしたちを襲う気…！？ Unbelievable! Could it be that this Whale is gonna attack us..!?

Whisper: どどどどど… どーします〜！？ W-w-w-w-w... what do we do!?

Nate: どーしますって そんなの決まってんだろう！ 戦うんだ！ We aleady know what to do! We fight!

Nate: 今 フミちゃんを守れるのは オレたちしか いないんだからな…！ Right now there is no one here who can protect Katie but us...!

Katie: あのクジラに 立ち向かおうっていうの！？ そんなのムチャよ…！ You're going to face the Whale!? That's reckless...!

Nate: フミちゃんは 危ないから下がっててくれ。 オレがなんとかする…。 It's dangerous, so get down, Katie. I'll manage somehow...

Whisper: ヤダ… ケータくん いつもより なんかカッコいい…！ No way... Somehow Nate is cooler than usual...!

Notes:

Nate mostly speaks in katakana here, like I mentioned before, this indicates he is pronouncing it oddly, in this case he is likely talking akwardly because he is nervous.

Hogewhale’s title 大妖鬼/Daiyōki, means “Great Yōki”, with Yōki in this case consisting of the kanji 妖/Yō, which is the same Yō as in Yōkai, which can be translated as something like “mysterious” or “bewitching”, among other things, and the kanji 鬼/Ki which refers to Oni or Oni-esque things. This Yōki doesn’t seem to be a term exclusive to this franchise, but it also doesn’t seem to be a common term, from what I can tell.

This is a bit of a pun, as the japanese word for whale used here is クジラ/Kujira, which sounds similar to Gojira, aka Godzilla.

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After the Battle:

Whisper: やれやれ これで一安心… Good grief, what a relief...

Kujiraman: ホゲェェェー！！ Hogeeeeh!!

Jibanyan: クジラの姿が変わったニャン！！ The Whale changed its shape, nyan!!

Whisper: ぷぷぷ… ですが見てください。 サイズは一気に小さくなりましたよ。 Huhuhu... But have a look, please. It suddenly got a lot smaller.

Whisper: 私が思うに あの姿は きっと苦しまぎれに変身しただけ… I think that it most likely just transformed into this shape out of desperation...

Jibanyan: はやっ！ さっきまでとは スピードが 段ちがいニャン！ So fast! This is nothing like its speed was before, nyan!

Whisper: まさか！ あえて小さくなることで パワーとスピードの両方をゲットぉ〜！？ No way! Did it get both power and speed by letting itself get this small!?

Nate: スゴい… まるで 進��だ…。 Amazing... It's almost like evolution...

Katie: クッズィィィーラ まさに 神の化身ね…。 Kujira, it's like an incarnation of a god... (1)

Nate: だが 敵の小型化によって オレたちも 戦いやすくなったずだ！ But, since the enemy got smaller, it will be easier for us to fight!

Nate: この機を逃すな！ ともだち妖怪召喚 全員投入！！ I won't let this chance slip by! Summoning all of my Yōkai Friends!!

Kujiraman: ホゲェェェェェェー！！！！！！ Hogeeeeeeh!!!!!!

Note:

In the japanese version she puts special emphasis on the “Kujira” part here, which made me think it’d be a nice place to put that one as is in the english version.

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After the Second Battle:

Nate: オレたちの勝利だぜ…！ We won...!

Mr. Movien: はい カーーーーット！ オールOKデース！！ Yes, CUUUUUUUT! Everything's OK!!

Nate: えっ！？ Huh!?

Mr. Movien: イヤ〜… じつに イイ画が撮れマシタ〜！！ Well... I was able to get some really nice shots!!

Mr. Movien: 思わぬハプニングに対する みなさんのリアクション… Everyone's reaction to an unexpected event happening...

Mr. Movien: フツーの演技では決して出せない 手に汗にぎるリアリティあふれる画！！ Shots overflowing with gripping reality that you could never get with average acting!!

Mr. Movien: これで 今度の妖怪アカデミー賞も いただきデース！！ With this, we will get the next Yōkai Academy Awards, too!

Whisper: なんと！ クジラが出てきた後も そのまま撮影は つづいていたんですか！？ Excuse me! Even after the Whale appeared, you continued shooting!?

Mr. Movien: イエース！ せっかく撮れたスバラシイ映像 これは うまく使うしかないデース！ Yes! Since I managed to film all this wonderful footage, I just have to use it!

Koalanyan: ぷく！ ぷくぷくぅ〜！ Puku! Puku pukuu!

Mr. Movien: 「みんなのがんばりに感動したよ！ だから ボクとともだちになって！！」 "I was deeply moved by everyone's hard work! So, become friends with me!!"

Mr. Movien: …と コアラニャンが言ってマース！ ...is what Koalanyan says!

Nate: ああ コアラニャン これから よろしくな…！ Yeah, Koalanyan, let's be good friends from now on...!

Koalanyan: ぷくぷくぅ！ Puku Pukuu!

Whisper: しかし… Mr．ムービーン 話は元に もどりますが… But, going back to the original story, Mr. Movien...

Whisper: 今まで撮影していたのは リアルなラブストーリーでしたよね？ Wasn't what we have been shooting until now a realistic love story?

Whisper: さすがに あのクジラに出てこれては リアルどころではないのでは… And of course, it wouldn't be very realistic if the Whale showed up...

Mr. Movien: いま決めマシタ〜！ 予定変更デース！ さっきまで撮ってた映画はボツにしまーす！ I just decided! Change of plans! The movie we were filming before will be scrapped!

Mr. Movien: 新しく作るのは… ズバリ！ リアルな怪獣映画デース！！ The new one I will make is... In short! A realistic Kaijū movie!!

Mr. Movien: ふふふ では編集をはじめマース！ 天才映画監督妖怪の名にかけてネー！！ Huhuhu, now to start the editing process! In the name of the Genius Movie Director Yōkai!!

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Finished Movie:

妖東 妖東宝株式会社 Yōho Yōhō Kabushiki-gaisha (1)

脚本・総監督 Mr.ムービーン Writer ・ Director Mr. Movien

Bear: うわ〜！ なんだありゃ〜！？ Uwahh! What is that!?

Eddie: あーっ！ あああああああーーー！！ こんなのアリィィィ〜！？ Ah-! Ahhhhhhhh!! Is this possible!?

Inaho: 本当に おそろしいのは ワタシたち 「人間」ね…。 Truly terrifying, us "humans", that is...

Nate: あきらめず！ 最後まで見捨てずに このチームために がんばろう！ Don't give up! Let's give it our all for this team, and not falter until the end!

Daiyōki Hogewhale: ホゲェェェェェ〜！ Hogeeeeeeh!

Kujiraman: ホゲェーーーー！ Hogeeeeh!

Nate: スゴい… まるで 進化だ…。 Amazing... It's almost like evolution...

Katie: クッズィィィーラ まさに 神の化身ね…。 Kujira, it's like an incarnation of a god...

KUJIRA

Note:

The company logo at the start of this movie is a reference to the Toho company, replacing the first Kanji of their name, “東/Tō“ with the “妖/ Yō“ from 妖怪/Yōkai.

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