#i had fantastic self control for a hypersexual teen virgin though. my libido was stuffed into a tiny cellar like the tell tale heart
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Oh god now it's nostalgia hours
#blu babbles#he was my first kiss too. ever. it was bc of the musical we were in (i was cinderella and he was the prince. literally) but...still#its so strange now. back then i was so naive and reserved and sensitive. like the heroine of a period drama.#only ever angry on others' behalf. i think I wanted desperately to feel like I was pure hearted so i did Good things.#i was so sexually repressed too. sometimes hed mention sex just to see me squirm a bit.#kissing him in that play was so awkward bc i was thwarting my libido so hard#i got more and more used to it. but once one of our kisses (we had 3 per show) felt a little too real and i freaked#i always thought of his gf in the audience. how if i kissed him like i wanted to itd hurt her.#and he might kiss me back the way he told me he wanted to and things would get so much more messy#i had fantastic self control for a hypersexual teen virgin though. my libido was stuffed into a tiny cellar like the tell tale heart#as i guarded it with my life. but i kept myself under control.#there was one time off stage specifically when he drove me home from rehearsal. hed been feeling low. as had i.#his gf was in new york for the week and for the first time in weeks it felt like we were just us again.#then in front of my house on this rainy day (i couldnt make this shit up) we just stared at each other in his car.#he had this weirdly desperate look in his eyes. i got the most intense feeling that he either wanted to kiss me or he was asking me to.#yall I freaked. i wasnt no homewrecker. i was the one who had to say 'i should go inside'.#yall he had these eyes. they were light brown/hazel and so pretty. almost feminine in a way.#and he had thick eyebrows and floppy dirty blond hair. he moved like he didnt know what to do with his long limbs.#he wasnt so much handsome as he was charming. and his height fitness and voice didnt hurt either.#hugging him used to feel like hugging the giving tree lmfao. he was always warm#he was a swimmer too with a broad chest. and he always wore these comfy as fuck t shirts. he hugged you like he was protecting you.#ooh wait my high jist hit so imma log off
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