#i had a similar essay to prepare on my first uni term

[astraystayyh]

Me in my women and gender studies class writing about my definition of beauty and realizing midway that I’m talking about y I find skz beautiful (outside of physical appearance, like how their actions and overall personality make them beautiful cuz I feel outside of their physical features them as people just make up their beauty) 💀 bye y am I down so bad 😭😭 that’s lowkey embarrassing but thankfully no one will know—

-🌙

wait that's so sweet :'))) skz are definitely such beautiful people, outside of their appearances, they all have such intricate qualities that show in their behavior/songs/art and it's so fascinating to witness!!!! definitely a good model to base ur writing off

[wnmwork-blog]

Reflective Journal

2017, where it all began for me. Going into this year, diving into the unknown world we call today Creative Technologies has been a journey and still is a journey. Creative Technologies Itself has been a roller coaster ride of trying out new things, tackling new approaches, from the ups and downs to the new friends I’ve had those ups and downs with, It’s all been one heck of a ride.

I still remember awkwardly sitting at my table being told that I would have to blog my experiences going through each assignment, than later that week thinking of exactly what to type after being given our first assignment. Staring at my screen not knowing what to write I eventually just decided to put my hands on the keyboard and write whatever came to my head, which I guess is kind of like the same thing I’m doing right now but 3 months later.  

Trying to figure out our first assignment was a bit complicated. In all my two years prior to attending Uni at UOA and comparing it to AUT, I had never come across such a project where we were able to pretty much do whatever we wanted. So I didn't even know where to begin. It was a true challenge of whether or not I could change the way I think and bring out my suppressed creative side and create the card game I had envisioned for myself. I had gone through so many ideas trying to create a card game and I guess the more I got to a point where I was stuck the more I discovered something about myself. I slowly discovered of how important balance is, specially while studying a degree such as BCT. I think I tried too hard and started to overthink and complicate the process of my project by trying to add elements that even I myself couldn't understand, or if not that than focusing more on the design aspects of my project and totally forgetting about the logistics side of things. BCT in a way you could say has rewired the way I think. It has given me a new sense of perspective in a way that you must look at something you’re creative from all sides and not just focus on one side.    

Looking back at my blogs I always felt like they lacked in a lot of areas, I shared what I felt but I never really expanded more on my thoughts and experiences. But it's all a learning process and I think I've been a willing to learn kind of student I think, but I guess now is where I can share more than I had previously?  

Firstly I think BCT really forced me to experiment a lot. A huge concept BCT emphasises on and encourages is trial and error. Only by going through all these trial and error phases during the first project was I able to properly understand this concept. I never really understood it, the first time the mentors talked about it in class, I automatically thought to myself, yeah yeah I get it, But to be completely honest I didn't, I just thought I did. Learning the true meaning of trial and error has opened up so many doors for me in terms of how to approach different projects efficiently and effectively. And ultimately prepared me for many projects to come.

Our next project was the sound project whilst eventually simultaneously working on our vlogging project. I guess a challenge that arose from the get go was the fact that I had never before worked in a group for a project before so I went into this teamwork work thing completely blind. As I’ve mentioned in my vlog I discovered the joys of working together to make something creative, to make something innovative but there's a difference between collaborating on an idea and working together on an idea. Just trying to get everyone's ideas into one big performance was such a mess. Bringing in all our very different instruments and trying to make it into a big sound scape was something new, a task indeed that needed more than just a few opinions, but needed everyone's input and everyone's collaborative skills. I think I had leant the true grit that teamwork actually has in this project than anything I’ve ever worked with in my life. To say we got there successfully in the end is an overstatement. But hey we got there.

Working on my vlog now and focusing more on that was actually smoother than I had thought it would be. What I wanted to say and focus on kind of just flowed out onto my keyboard. I guess because we had been through what felt like a lot already, I just ended up sharing my experiences of that. Although the problem for me was putting that into video and overcoming my awkwardness with anything to do with me being on screen. I know being in a world like Creative Technologies there will come times when we must broadcast an image of ourselves and actually be confident in everything that we’re doing and creating, and the only way to do that is to bring out that fiery passion that I have for BCT and I feel like I did bring it out in the end and made a successful vlog.

Again as I’ve mention previously teamwork for me was a new concept, and now we had an even bigger group project to work with, a project that in particular caused many stumbling blocks. Reasons being we wanted to showcase so many different things about how we wanted 2050 to be like, and which artefacts we wanted to show too. After multiple group meetings and I mean multiple we came to a conclusion. It took a lot of effort and managing certain group members but once we came to that conclusion we began to work right away and started on our short film. Something big I took from this was communication. Communication is so important if you want the outcome to be what you envisioned as a group, when everyone wants to produce something similar communicating the idea thoroughly is the only way to go about it, no questions asked.

I guess what I get from all these concepts I’ve leant from every assignment we’ve done is that they all contribute to something bigger. From keeping a balanced mind-set, to stepping out of your comfort zone, to communicating anything and everything, That something bigger is me contributing my creative mind to this world and only knowing how to do so because of everything I’ve learnt doing BCT. I mean we’re all placed on this earth for a purpose right? I wouldn't say Creative Technologies is my purpose but I think its definitely a good path to walk on this journey we call life, a journey also of just finding myself. Having gone through those two years of Uni prior, just so I could understand Waha properly, and realise that actually I don't really want to do all these essays, and exams, but what I really wanted to do and still want to do is use my brain to create and collaborate. Thank You.                      

[drews-diary]

Life Summary

Now that I’ve explained why I started my blog I thought my first post should be a wide overview of my life so far rather than any specific event so that I (or any people who happen to come across my new blog) do not get confused when I come back later. I dunno maybe I suffer from dementia or some shit later on and forget everything that’s ever happened to me. 

I am Korean, my entire family is. I was born in April in 2000. I am not going to write down the specific date because it is constantly up for debate and I honestly don’t care. Either one can be deemed as my birthday and I don’t give a fuck which. I was born in Seattle when my dad was getting his second masters (idk why he did that but whatever). A few months after I was born my family moved to North Carolina where my dad would get his PhD. I have a younger brother who is three years younger than me. He’s really nice. I’m a real bitch to him. Lately, I’ve been trying not to be. It’s actually going pretty okay

My dad and my brother are both really nice guys. And I mean that as in like, actual really really good kind people, not the #niceguys you find on reddit. My mom, on the other hand, isn’t. She’s a good person, but she can be a real bitch at times. I think I get it from her. Still, I really look up to her because even though she can be a bit harsh and rough around the edges she always has good intentions and she too is just a genuinely really good person. I wanna be like her when I grow up. Since I’m already there in terms of being a bitch every now and then. 

I grew up in North Carolina around a bunch of Korean people, most of whom were there for reasons similar to my dad. At school my brother and I were the only Koreans. I made friends with the one girl who was Chinese. Honestly I was so annoying as a kid. 

A few months before I graduated elementary school, my dad got a job as a professor in Korea and we moved. My first year in Korea, I got into a special class in an elementary school that was specifically for students who had spent long periods of time abroad and were trying to adapt to Korea, which made the whole transition a lot easier for me. After that, I went to Korean public school until my second year of high school. 

When I was about to turn thirteen my uncle passed away after a long fight with a pretty rare disease. I had a really hard time and I think it was at that point I started to fall into the world of fandoms. I had always really liked Percy Jackson as a child but it was at this point that I went into it, it’s what got me through that hard time. Before this I didn’t even know that fandoms were a thing and all of a sudden I was running an pjohoo fan instagram account and doing all-nighters to read fanfiction on wattpad. When Rick Riordan ended the series in 2014 I felt empty for a while. I didn’t know what to do with my life (this was before he announced the Apollo’s Apprentice series). I liked One Direction for a while but it just wasn’t the same. Then I found 5sos through them, and honestly I’ve stuck with them ever since. I am not as die hard now as I was back then because I’ve gone through puberty and as a result am less of an emotional wreck now, but the fact remains the same that I would die for Calum Hood. 

My grades were okay in middle school but they suffered a lot once I got to high school and in my second year my parents and I decided that the best option was for me to transfer to an International school. As a result, I spent the last two years of my high school career going to an international school here in South Korea. 

I got pretty close to my classmates during senior year, as opposed to junior year where I mostly stuck to my small group of friends. But high school ended pretty quickly (this past June) and everybody went their separate ways. While others headed off to university, a handful of friends and I made our way to hakwon. There, I rotted away for the next 4-5 months while I got ready for Korean university, which has a different application season from other places (I think). I worked on my resume, essays and most of all I prepared for my interviews. The results are out now and I got into my second choice. Which, is really good and I am so thankful that they accepted my ass, but I still hope I get into my first choice (I’m currently wait-listed, chances are not good).

I am now in sort of a transition period. I have all of this time until the first day of uni (which is in the beginning of March) and I think that that is the reason why I have been contemplating so much shit lately. Everybody else seems to be busy going out but I’ve always been more of an introverted, only-leaves-the-house-when-absolutely-necessary kind of person. But I do meet up with people maybe once or twice a week. I really like hanging out with my friends and getting drunk and all that shit, but honestly it’s pretty draining. A close friend and I got a netflix account together recently so I’ve mostly just been bingeing shit in bed. 

I have all of this time until the next official chapter of my life starts, and I thought it might be a good idea to spend it by looking back on the past and recording what I can remember. Don’t get me wrong, I have plans for the next couple of months - I’m going on a trip to Paris with a few of my really close friends (it is going to be the first time I ever go to Europe!), I have meeting with plastic surgeons set up, I want to get a job and my driver’s license too - but still, that’s a lot of empty time on my hands. I think this will be a good way to spend it. 

I am going to try not to post a bunch in one day. That is the easiest way for me to quickly lose interest. Instead, I am going to try to pace myself so that the memories do not stop flowing. Hopefully I can post once every few days. I wanna post about vague memories that I have, but I also wanna record things as they happen. I am really going to treat this like my diary. There were a bunch of times when I started a diary in the past, but I could never get myself to go more than a few weeks. Hopefully this time it will be different. 

I honestly really wanna be able to find this blog later so that I can go through it and remember everything. Hopefully I don’t ruin it by being lazy again. Wish me luck

[28dayslater]

Anon I read your submission, posted my response under the cut bc it got long lmao

1. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all! You’re not into full on mature student territory for about another decade. Loads of people delay uni for a few years so there’ll be some there a bit older, and 22/18 isn’t such a huge age gap that you’re gonna be wildly out of touch- one of my mates at uni was I think 3 years older than the rest of us and I never even guessed, I found out two years in bc it just didn’t come up. You’re gonna have to talk to 18yos at some point in seminars or whatever but you’ll always have the common ground of what you’re studying to talk about so you can definitely see if you can make friends through that. Other than people on your course, unis have loads of societies- mine had a societies fair during freshers week so if yours has anything similar go and check it out, see if there’s anything you’re into and give it a go, you’re gonna meet people with the same interests as you and get that social circle a little bit wider. & I know clubbing and binge drinking is a huge part of student culture but you absolutely don’t have to do it, especially once you get into second/third year where people are taking their degree more seriously a lot of them don’t go out at all. I’d check out freshers tho bc it is a good laugh and the drinks are impossibly cheap. Wrt being trans and not having friends, the thing about uni is that you don’t know anyone there, it’s a total fresh start. Everyone’s in the same boat on day one, no one knows anyone. You’re meeting everyone there for the first time, and they don’t know anything about you, so you’re free to start anew. Also bc there’s so many students there’s a level of anonymity- at a school where there’s like 150 people in your year people are gonna talk about you bc they know you, at uni where there’s thousands of students no one cares enough about one person as bad as that sounds lmao.

 2. I can’t say if this is gonna be the same everywhere but my uni did a compulsory module in the first term of first year that was all about how to analyse literature and write essays at a uni level just to get everyone prepared for the rest of the work, so there’s probably a good chance yours will have something similar? Your lecturers know people are going in blind and that they’re not gonna be writing at dissertation level on day one, and they want to help you out. If you have trouble writing an essay or you didn’t really get a lecture or something, pick a lecturer who seems nice and drop them an email asking if you can meet them or go to their office hours- they really don’t mind helping you out and most of them would much rather you ask for some extra help than suffer on your own. You’ll get assigned a personal tutor as well (I think this is universal, I can’t see anywhere not doing it) and they’re really good to go to if you have any issues bc they’re literally there to help you with them. With essays as well the bare bones of it are really simple- you get your topic, make an argument about it (an example I wrote an essay on is ‘Outlander is misogynist and reflects the backlash against feminism in the 80s’) and then justify why by picking out bits of the source material that support that. What’s gonna help you most with that is genuine interest in what you’re writing, and knowing the subject well, and neither of those have anything to do with essay experience or A levels. Unis have support available for non-academic things too, they’ve got careers advisors and student support centres and that, and those are all there for you to use.

3. I think it’s absolutely worth it! You love learning, and you’re obviously passionate about the subject, and that’s gonna help you SO much with it because you’re gonna actually have fun doing the work. When I was doing my essays I struggled a lot with modules like modernism and literary theory bc I hated it but when I got to choose things I was actually interested in I actually enjoyed writing the essays, I got complete freedom when I was choosing what to write my dissertation on and I had so much fun doing it. Stuff like not having experience writing is something you can work past but genuine love for the subject is something not everyone’s gonna have. And yeah you could spend the next fifty years working retail but sometimes you gotta take a risk and do something you really really want to do, because otherwise what’s the point? Obviously yeah you will come out with a shitload of debt but you only have to pay back a small percentage once you’re earning over 21k a year so it doesn’t really affect your life. I’m not gonna tell you to fuck it off and keep working retail, LIVE YOUR DREAMS

4. YES I’m so so glad I went to uni! I completely fucked it up and came out with an incomplete degree and have gone back to working retail but even so I enjoyed it so much and it was really good for me! I think stuff like living away from home and having my own money to pay my rent with were really good for my independence like it really made me grow up. I look back at 2015-era Alex and I’m like “who WAS that bitch?” There’s this kind of culture at uni as well where the lecturers are like “if you don’t want to come to lectures or do work or whatever, you’re an adult and it’s your choice and no one’s gonna chase you about it” and it’s so different from school bc it’s like, you get treated like an adult and no one’s gonna kick off at you for missing a seminar, but you have to make the conscious choice to do work, so it kind of forces you to grow up and get on with it. Also I had a lot of times at uni that were miserable bc I was dealing with depression and I never tried to get any help, but I also met and lived with one of my best friends in the world, and I think that about makes up for it. I think in general uni is what you make of it, and if you go in wanting to learn and make friends and enjoy yourself, you’re probably gonna have a good time.

If you’ve got anything else you want to ask about or you just wanna talk, feel free to dm me, I’m always here to talk :^)

Also: very jealous of the year in Iceland, that sounds extremely cool