#i had a kit connor moment of something lgbt happening to me

[t4tstarvingdog]

i feel like i got fucked

[fanders-fic-awards]

One Short Day (Summer Fic Comp 18)

Summary: Patton has a really bad day, so Virgil tries to help.

Trigger Warnings: The Q and F slurs. To skip them, skip the from ’“Okay,” Connor said’ to ‘Oh. Oh.’

Word Count: 2059

Ballot

Patton was having a very, very bad day. First, his coffee maker broke, spilling coffee everywhere and probably ruining his favorite sweater. Then his car wouldn’t start; thankfully, however, he had listened to Logan and gotten a portable jump starter kit that didn’t require a second car.

He pulled up to school, barely in time to start his first class of the day, which was senior-level Honors English. The bell rang, and 30 tired and unenthused seniors walked in the door.

“Good morning, class!” His greeting was met with mumbles, so he tried again, with even more pep he wasn’t at all feeling.

“What is up, everybody?”

“Hi, Mr. Sanders” came the ever-so-slightly more energetic response.

“Now, kiddos, I know it’s early on a Monday, but you can do better than that! I be-leaf in you!” Patton held up the plastic maple leaf he kept on his desk, eliciting 29 groans and 1 giggle.

“Ayy, you got me, Thomas!”

“Yeah, because you tell the same joke every day, Mr. Sanders.” The entire class laughed at Thomas’ quip, Patton included.

“Good point,” Patton ceded, pointing at him, “Get it? Good point? Also, valid observation.”

“You have cat to be kitten me. It’s too early for this bull-”

“Hey now, language! But you definitely deserve a Patt on the back for the excellent dad jokes today.”

“Was… was that a self-referential pun? To a crowd that usually doesn’t know the first names of their teachers, when you only just told us your first name last week?” Joan, Thomas’ friend, spoke up.

“Well, yeah! Why do you think I told you guys? Before that,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eye, “I was Patton pending!”

“I never thought I’d say this, but can we please get to actually learning things?” Talyn, Joan’s datemate, called from the back of the class.

“Right, as usual, Talyn,” Patton laughed, “so who has thoughts they’d like to share on the chapters of The Picture of Dorian Gray you all read over the weekend?” Silence fell, with the exception of a murmur from a boy named Connor.

Patton knew it wasn’t right for teachers to have favorite or least favorite students, but Connor was by far his least favorite. Connor was the kind of student who put no effort into understanding the material and then complained that he didn’t get it, that it was boring. Patton frankly couldn’t understand why he was taking an honors course, and nothing he said or did seemed to get through to the kid. And that’s what bugged Patton the most. Every no-effort paper, every barely passed test, felt like a personal failure to Patton. He was responsible for his students and their success. At the end of the day, however, he knew that learning is communication, and communication is a two-way street. He didn’t dislike Connor as a person, of course, he was simply sad and frustrated by his apathy towards his education.

“What was that, Connor?”

“N- nothing, Mr. Sanders.”

“Now, kiddo, we both know that’s not true. Your thoughts are as important and valid as anyone else’s. So, please, share them with us.” Patton’s voice was firm, making it clear he wouldn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer.

“Okay,” Connor said, a challenging smirk on his face, “I think that this book is a waste of our time and that no one cares what a dusty old queer had to say about other faggots over a hundred years ago.”

Oh. Oh. Patton’s chest got tight and he briefly saw red before he remembered where he was. He noticed at least five students flinch at the slur and realized he had been presented an opportunity to make a real difference in his students’ lives. Patton took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts before beginning.

“Thank you for your honest input, Mr. Williams. While your phrasing was incredibly offensive, and we will have a serious conversation with the principal after class about your use of those slurs, you bring up a point that warrants discussion, one that has occurred in countless English courses.

Why should we care? What did this novel add to the world, and does the author’s background add or remove weight from their work? I was going to discuss Oscar Wilde’s sexuality and the homosexual themes throughout the novel after we finished reading it, but since Connor brought it up, this seems like a perfect time.

Before I start lecturing, I want to know if any of you have things you’d like to add to the discussion. Yes, even you, Connor, provided you phrase your comments more carefully.” Patton paused, giving his students time to speak up if they wanted to. He was immensely relieved when a usually very quiet girl named Samantha rose her hand.

“Yes, Samantha, the floor is yours.”

“Oh, um, I just wanted to say that I think it was really brave of Oscar Wilde. I feel like the book is about vice and, um, how it destroys people, even if you- if you can’t tell by looking at them. The fact that it’s Basil Hallward who is explicitly gay is really important. Other authors might have added being gay to the list of 'sins’ Dorian Gray is guilty of, but Wilde makes Hallward something of a tragedy.

The portrait is basically the product of Hallward’s sexuality, a representation of it. Gray destroys it and then kills Hallward, which by could be interpreted out of context as a 'punishment’ for Hallward being gay. And while killing the gay character is a tragically common trope, that’s not what Wilde wrote. Because it’s Gray who killed him, it can be argued that acting the way he did is yet another example of the debauchery that causes not only his death but in the end makes him as ugly as he always feared he’d become.

Sorry, I know you hadn’t assigned that far, but I really liked the book and needed to know how it ended. And, uh, sorry for talking so much.”

“Samantha, please do not apologize for any of that. That was very well put and almost every point I was going to make.” Patton wanted to comment that he noticed her voice getting stronger and more sure as she talked, but he didn’t want to embarrass her.

“Oh, um, thanks, Mr. Sanders.”

“Mr. Sanders, what are the 'other points’ you wanted to make?” Joan asked, who had been giving Connor a murderous glare the entire time.

“Before I answer, is there anything anyone else would like to say?” Patton waited for anyone to speak up, but when no one did, he continued, “I want to discuss the larger picture. But we’ll have to table that for another day since the bell is about to ring. If you want to read ahead, please do, but I’m not going to assign another chapter for tomorrow- all I ask is that you come prepared for a discussion of notable LGBT+ authors and how their identity shaped their works, such as William Shakespeare, Truman Capote, Emily Dickinson, and Tennessee Williams. Wow me with what you bring in and there are extra credit points in it for you! Have a wonderful day, and I look forward to our discussion tomorrow. Connor, a word, please.”

—-

Virgil came home to complete chaos. There was a mess of tangled fairy lights on the couch, and it looked like there was an explosion of flour in the kitchen.

“God, Pat, you are lucky I love you. What’s up with all the messes?” Virgil called out, laughing fondly at his chaotic energetic boyfriend.

“Oh hi, my love! I meant to have it all cleaned up by the time you got home. Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess! How was your day?”

“It was really good. Got a really big breakthrough with the couple I told you I’ve been struggling so much with- I think they’re gonna get somewhere really healthy.”

“Oh my goodness, that’s so great! We have to celebrate- as it so happens, I made chocolate cake, and was gonna make stroganoff for dinner.”

“Pat, it’s my turn to cook, remember? You spoil me too- shit. I can’t believe I missed it. What’s wrong, sunshine?”

“Nothing, Virge. I just wanted to do something sweet for my sweetie!”

“Please let me in, love. Can I help?”

“I- I don’t know, and I didn’t want to worry you. It’s just been a really rough day.”

“Let’s make a deal. Let’s make lasagna together while you tell me what’s up, and then I’ll draw you a bubble bath and we’ll watch 8 Mile?”

“Not 8 Mile, not tonight. Make it the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, and I’m in.”

“As you wish, Patton-cake.”

“I love you too, dork.”

The two men got busy making lasagna, singing and sort-of dancing as they cooked. When they put the dish in the oven, Patton started talking.

“V, it was a hell of a day. The coffee pot broke, and I spilled coffee all over my sweater, and I really need to call your brother and thank him for the advice about the jumper kit. Without it, I wouldn’t have gotten to work on time. But that was little stuff, and you know me, I brushed it off and was really excited to talk with my kiddos about The Picture of Dorian Gray. And class started really well, you’d have died at how they kept the pun train rolling. I love them all so much. I’ve talked to you about Connor before, right?”

“I think so. Total slacker, could be one of the best students in the class if he gave a damn?”

“Yep, that’s the kid. He dropped the f and q slurs a couple of times complaining about the book.”

“Oh my god Patton are you okay? What happened? Did the kid get his ass handed to him like he deserves?”

“Breathe, Virgil. It’s all okay. He’s got detention for 2 weeks, his parents know and are pissed, and I was able to turn it into a good teaching moment. Well, technically, Samantha did.”

“Quiet Samantha?”

“Yeah, she had some incredible insights into the book and how it deals with sexuality and morality. She apparently read ahead and finished the book, so she was able to tie in Gray’s death too.

It was incredible to watch. She’s so quiet and started out so unsure, but by the end, she was so confident, I almost cried.”

“You cry at everything, Pat. Don’t argue- you cried last week because snakes don’t have legs. For real, though, that’s amazing. You are amazing.”

“It was all her!”

“No, it wasn’t. I was just like Samantha in school. I had so many things to say, but I was terrified of being wrong, so I said nothing. Except in classes where I completely trusted the teacher, where I knew my ideas would be really heard, not just listened to, and respected. Teachers like that, teachers like you, change the world. I guarantee that Samantha will never forget today, and neither will any LGBT+ kid in that class.

God, Patton, you change lives. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met, and it blows my mind that somehow you think I’m worthy of your love. Every day, I try to be someone you can be proud of, and I want to keep doing it for the rest of our lives.” Virgil slipped out of his chair and onto one knee, pulling a small velvet box out of his jacket pocket.

“Patton Sanders, at the risk of sounding cliché as hell, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

“Virgil… my sweet and sour misunderstood shadowling, I couldn’t do any of what I do without you. You’re as important to me as air or puppies. You make me want to be the best version of me, and there is nothing I want more than to marry you.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes! Virgil Raine, I absolutely will marry you!” Crying, Patton pulled Virgil up and kissed his fiancé. “Now, let’s have some engagement lasagna and take an engagement bubble bath!”

“You’re such a dork. I love you so fucking much.”

“I hope you do, 'cuz we’re getting married!”

“That we are,” Virgil chuckled, tears in his eyes as well.

 @mystrangedarkson