#i had a coworker at my old job i would walk to her car bc she was still in high school when she started | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starglow-xx · 4 years ago

Text

owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada & port mafia (part 1)

platonic! edogawa ranpo x f! reader

type of writing: head canons !!

this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting these fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them! but only at the cost of your peace and sanity.

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff & platonic stuff

author’s notes: this will be a multiple part series of head canons and this is only part one! this series will include both the agency and port mafia members, and then something special for the end. maybe i’ll even write a real one shot/scenario for it. if there’s enough interest, i might open up a tag list for this! i hope you all enjoy!! <33

also, ranpo is 25 in this part; kenji, atushi, kyouka, and the tanizaki siblings aren’t part of the agency yet, only yosano, kunikida, and dazai are, but in the next couple parts, it will be established that the tanizakis are

and (n/n) means nickname :)

meeting the greatest detective

your bakery, Sakura’s, which you named after your late grandmother (who was also your guardian), went into business when you were 18 right after graduating high school

who needed a culinary course when you were trained by dear ol grandma?

your grandmother died when you were 16, just as you started your second year of high school

you were devastated of course, but you knew she wouldn’t want you to wallow over it too long

so in those last two hard years of high school, you took part time jobs at other bakeries and saved lots and lots of money

by graduation, using your life savings, the money your grandmother had left for you, and all the money you earned working, you were able to buy the small building—with a reasonable amount of money left over to survive— you and your grandmother had been eyeing back in her hometown, yokohama, to start your bakery

the building was a bit run down, but you were planning to give it a makeover anyways

it was a bit smaller compared to other buildings around, only having two stories, but on the plus side, the second floor had taller ceilings and was an apartment

is that realistic? probably not but bare with me here

aNYWHO

you finished putting your bakery up in about 4 months, then finished up your apartment 2 more after

you opened Sakura’s at 7 in the morning then closed at 8 in the evening

when you first started, you did quite well!!

especially with those who went to work on early mornings and families

the time when you first opened was the most peaceful, but you admitted that it was a bit boring, and you wished for a bit more excitement

and boy, the day edogawa ranpo stepped into your bakery was the catalyst for the chaos and excitement that was soon to come

not that you knew that

if you did you would’ve never let him in

maybe

you were 19 when ranpo discovered Sakura’s, and it was completely accidental

he finished solving a case and was on the way back to the agency, and he—not surprisingly—got lost and then it started to rain really hard

it was pouring; there was even the cliche thunder strike and everything

you saw the brown clad man across the street and you ran out with two umbrellas (almost getting hit by a car mind you) handed one to him and practically dragged him inside

with the heavy rain on the forecast, Sakura’s was empty, so you gently pushed him down on a chair and you rushed away to find towels

even though the two of you had umbrellas, the two of you were still soaked

finding said towels, you quickly dried yourself the best you could then you draped your towel over your back and rushed over to give him his as well as a warm pastry and your special hot honey lemon tea

ranpo laughed as you placed down the refreshment and snack, thinking that you knew who he was and was giving him special treatment

poor bby blinked and went :0 when you said you didn’t

“you don’t know who i am?”

“no. am i supposed to?”

“...”

the 25 year old blanked and you worried that you broke him and started to apologize profusely

he cut you off claiming that he got over it he didnt but seeing as the bakery was empty and it was pouring pretty badly, he demanded you give him all your attention sit with him so he could tell you all about himself and what he’s done

the two of you got along quite well

you were amazed with all the stories he’s told you

you honestly acted like a cute little kid listening to fairytales

he told you that and in response you threw a napkin at him

“wow ranpo-san! that’s amazing!!”

“you look like a little kid”

cue the napkin

he was happy with all the attention, praise, and sweets you gave him

the agency gave him praise sure, and made sure he had a lot of snacks but it was refreshing to have someone give him this much and your treats were the best he’s ever had

after he told you all his most interesting cases, the two of you just rambled about the most randomest things; going from the best desserts and snacks to the stupidest things his coworkers have done

you guys were on that last topic for a while

you two talked and rambled for hours, and when it hit hour two and the rain was still pouring, you just went ahead and slipped the “we’re open” sign to “closed” even though it was only 2 o’clock

you thought that this was probably the loving goofy older brother relationship that you missed out on

“ranpo-san, you’re kind of like the brother i’ve never had”

“and you’re still like that little kid”

cue another napkin to the face

don’t worry, he already adores you <3

he just likes to make fun of you </3

*cuts you off as you’re talking to squish your cheeks* “(y/n) you still have a lot of baby fat and you’re pretty short...are you sure you’re still not in high school or smth??”

*incoherent talking due to pressure on cheeks* “ranpo-san you have 3 seconds before i kick you out”

at around 6, the rain came to a stop and by then, the both of you were all dried up

before he left, you gave him a map so that he hopefully wouldn’t get lost again and gave him a couple boxes of treats for him to have and to share with his coworkers

you closed early so you had to give away at least some of the remaining treats somehow

he wanted you to go to agency with him so he didn’t have to carry everything but you declined saying that you didn’t want to bc you wanted to rest

and for payback for calling you a little kid

you were 19 goddamnit

you already placed everything neatly into two bags so it was easy to carry but this bitch still had the audacity to pout and whine at you

and he calls you the little kid, jeez

you never told him but, you almost gave in

you never told him. but he probably already knows

ranpo san knows all after all; even you knew that by now

the two of you had also exchanged phone numbers and when the two of you showed each other what you each put for a contact name along with the note below, the two of you broke out into grins

you named him “the greatest detective <33″ & put the note “new nii-san <33 & bully </3″ and he named you “cute bakery girl” with the note “best follower, sweets supply & annoying little kid”

when he left, you properly closed the bakery and taped a sign to the door saying that you closed early for personal reasons

when everything was cleaned up, you marched up into your bedroom, plopped on your bed, and took a nap

you deserved it

at the agency not too long after that, ranpo had arrived and when he opened the door, everyone rushed towards him in concern asking if he was okay

he waved them off and walked towards his desk and plopped down in his seat

he placed the two bags in front of him and took out a box of cream puffs and started to snack on them

his coworkers watched him blankly as his scarfed down one after another

after finishing that box, he rummaged through the bags to look through the different kinds of pastries you’ve given him

noticing that there were people still staring at him he paused before sighing in exasperation

he began to whine at his coworkers saying that no one told him it was gonna rain and that they were lucky that he happened to be in front of Sakura’s

“why did no one tell me?! it was pouring and i was soaked! you guys are lucky that (n/n)-chan’s bakery was right there! you would’ve probably lost me! how would the agency even function without me here?!”

no one wanted to be the one to tell him that they had no idea who he was talking about and that they did in fact tell him that it was gonna pour

they can save that, and their questions for another time

next >>

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

416 notes · View notes

hunflowers · 5 years ago

Text

Femme Fatale

Word Count: 7.3k

Requested? Nope, but you always can here :)

Mood Board

A/N: I hope you enjoy my rendition of mafia!Harry bc I lowkey do not. Enjoy the smut and maybe leave some feedback when you’re done! *nose boops*

part 2 :)

The rivalry went back decades.

Growing up, they had no choice but to hate each other. It was practically in their blood because that’s how their ancestors were towards one another.

Besides, they tried the whole friendship thing when they were children, and it didn’t even work out then. Simply at first because their families forbade it. But they soon realized how annoying the other was as the years went on. And how badly they wish they could just strangle one another because that would be easier than ever becoming friendly.

It all started with their great-grandfathers, as most old rivalry stories do. They once worked in unison, in harmony as coworkers, cofounders, and friends. Once poor, they rose to the top as a team. But, when money started to become more prevalent, so did the truth of their relationship. They both wanted seniority, to run the business as a King rather than as a team. So, when heads were clashing and neither of them could bring themselves to kill the other, they did the only thing left, and split the business.

And from that point on, peace no longer existed.

Not only did the two men hate each other, but all of their workers started to hate the opposing side. No one thought there could be two leading imports in the city, because the city just wasn’t big enough for both egos. But even though chaos ensued ever since the split, people could say peace was also created. Because everyone was afraid to start a war they couldn’t finish. So, even though there were the casual breakouts and fights, nothing too major ever happened to the point where the city would practically cave in.

Except for now that is. Because Harry and Y/N hated each other that much. Everyone was afraid the other would snap soon and that could only lead to destruction.

Of course, the pair like to think they have it under control, but in reality, one wrong word spoken and the other is as good as dead.

People wondered who the Hell left them in charge because they were some of the most hot headed people to have ever walked this planet. But, in reality they really weren’t left a choice but to run the companies.

Harry’s father was never too into the whole business. Yeah, he got the job done but it wasn’t his first choice career wise. And seeing as he was an only child, he was left no choice but to stay in charge until Harry was ready. And the second he saw that Harry was mature enough for this responsibility, he immediately passed the throne down to him, thankful to have that weight off his shoulders.

As for Y/N, her father wanted her to have nothing to do with the business because it wasn’t a woman’s responsibility. He was thinking of handing the leadership down to his nephew, because he had always looked up to Y/N’s dad and had dreamed of being in charge one day. Of course, she found the whole ordeal ridiculous because the job was meant for her, and no one else.

Y/N was the eldest of her siblings, neither of them being boys. So, when the time would come the company had no choice but to fall in her hands. And even though the time came a lot quicker than she anticipated, she was beyond ready to take on the responsibility. Just a few days past her twenty-first birthday, Y/N’s father had died of a heart attack that was completely unwarranted. He took excellent care of his health, so to say it was a surprise was an understatement. But, even though the company sprung up on her, she prepared most of her life to be in charge and she wasn’t going to let her father down.

Despite Harry’s many attempts to prove her wrong and that she’d be a failure at running things, she would actually prove him wrong time and time again because products exported smoothly and income imported even smoother. And what she makes in a week is generally what he makes every month.

So, she’s doing pretty good she thinks.

But they did try to be friends once. When they were eleven, they shared a few of the same friends so their paths always crossed. So they decided they wouldn't be hostile towards one another because that was the rest of their family, not them. Fast forward to the age of twelve, and Harry and Y/N nearly get in a fist fight due to Harry hurting Y/N’s best friend, and Y/N doing the same to his.

Clearly, history would repeat itself and thus the two joined their families in hating the other.

That led them to where they are now, thirteen years later, and still a lot of hatred in the air.

Albeit, there was the rare occurrence of sexual tension in the air too but they choose not to dwell on that.

It was a one night thing. They were both completely plastered, and they hardly even remember it happening. Of course they tell different stories of that night, and it actually drew them farther apart, but again, they choose to not think about it at all.

It was only a one time thing.

But today. . . today really solidified their ongoing rivalry. Y/N was awoken this morning by the loud shrill of her ringtone blasting in her dark bedroom. She was tempted to not answer it because everyone knew not to call her so early in the morning, but then again, everyone knew not to call her so early in the morning so it must only be an emergency.

And it was the news on the other line that broke her heart and had Y/N flying out of her bed faster than light travelled. Earlier that morning, her youngest sister, Serena, was found in the bathroom of the local club, knocked unconscious whilst her clothes were nearly ripped to shreds. She had been drugged, raped, and stripped of her dignity and Y/N felt responsible. This ache in her chest was prominent because she felt it was her fault for some reason.

After their father’s passing, Serena had gone off the rails for a little while. She took it especially hard because even though all three of his daughters were his babies, Serena being the youngest was his special baby, and she found it very difficult to cope with the loss. So, when Serena did a little too much of experimenting with drugs or drinking, Y/N knew taking care of her baby sister was her main priority.

Hearing the news that her sister had been violated, Y/N couldn’t help but take it to heart. She hardly cared about the outfit she was wearing or what state her hair was in when she arrived at the hospital, all she wanted was to get to her sister.

When she entered her room, she was greeted by her mother and her other sister, Francesca, or Franny for short, already by her bed.

“How is she?” Y/N spoke quickly, taking in the look of her sister sleeping on the hospital bed.

Franny stood up so frantic Y/N could sit down and catch her breath after she practically ran through the hospital halls to find the room.

“She hasn’t woken up yet, but the doctor says she’s in stable condition,” her mother spoke, a shaky breath leaving her lips as she squeezes her daughter's hand.

Y/N bit her bottom lip to stop the urge to burst into tears, keeping her stone cold face in tact. “I swear, I am going to kill whoever did this. I’ll kill them myself, with my own two bare hands.”

“Y/N, please, not now,” Mom hissed. She hated that her daughter had gotten so involved in the business, and she most certainly hated that Y/N got her father’s temper. Her daughter hurting people is the last thing she wants to think about, especially while her other daughter is currently on a hospital bed.

“What, you don’t want whoever did this to pay?”

“Of course I do! By going to prison, not by my daughter’s two hands,” she glared at her eldest.

Y/N huffed, sifting back in her chair and trying to tie back her knotty hair in some sort of bun to get it out of her face before she screams. “Well, my way is a whole lot easier, and I can then guarantee whoever did gets justice served. Who knows what the legal system will do. Give ‘em three months maybe.”

“How about both of you shut your mouths, she’s waking up,” Franny spoke up, gaining the two’s attention immediately. Y/N sat forward, grabbing Serena’s right hand in her own.

The blinding light from the lamp above her head made Serena squint her eyes shut at the vivid brightness, her face distorting into in an uncomfortable grimace before she was able to open her eyes without the light hurting. She looked around at her family, confusion striking her features as she realized where she was.

“Wha– what happened?” She spoke hoarsely, her voice scratchy from probably being excessively dry.

When it was explained what had happened to her, she immediately broke down into tears, which then caused Y/N to let out her own tears. Again, that ping of guilt hitting her right in the heart.

“I know the police are going to ask you questions once they see you’re awake, but do you have any idea who did this to you? Anyone being suspicious towards you last night?” Y/N asked, keeping her voice in a hushed tone to try not to startle her sister in this fragile state.

Maybe it wasn’t the best timing for this but police would be here soon and this was Y/N’s job to find the person who did this, who hurt her family, her blood.

Serena swallowed, closing her eyes to try and remember anything from the night before. She started to shake her head because most of the night was a blur in her head but then she did remember one specific detail that was probably the most important.

Her eyes snapped open as she looked at Y/N, the realization of how important the detail is dawning on her. “He had a uh– tattoo on his arm. It was the. . . Styles emblem.”

Y/N practically shot out of her seat, fuming at just the name of Styles. She hardly left with a goodbye before she was storming out of the building and into her car. Of course it was someone from his side that had the audacity to do something like this. To step onto her side of the city, to do this to her sister.

If you know Y/N, you know her family, so whoever it was knew exactly what they were getting themselves into, and that just made Y/N even angrier. Her hands were practically itching to grab ahold of this guys neck and twist it like a rope.

She zipped her way in and out of traffic, trying to make it to her destination without any fatalities but still getting there as fast as possible. And when she did get there she hardly remembered to put the car in park and to shut it off before she was running inside and to the elevator.

She got a lot of nasty looks from everyone that saw her figure running across the lobby, and she knew why but she didn’t give the time of day to care. Because the boss herself was stepping onto the wrong territory.

When she made it to the right floor, and to the right door, she pounded her fist rapidly on the wood, urging anyone inside to open the fucking door.

And when the door finally did swing open, she was face to face with the one face she was hoping to not see anytime soon but yet at this time she couldn’t avoid him any longer.

“You better have a good reason to be knocking on my door this fucking early in the morning,” Harry spat down at the girl in front of him.

Y/N looked over his shoulder to see two people, a random guy and a girl on the couch in his office, both nearly naked. Then she looked at Harry and saw that his own clothes were disheveled as he probably haphazardly tossed them on his body to open the door.

“Really, in your office?” Y/N droned, pushing past him and into the large space and giving the two a nasty look to state get out.

“I don’t really need your fucking comments so how about you just leave?”

“No, they have to though,” she gestured to the two who were looking around the room quite uncomfortably, not exactly sure what to do with themselves in this moment.

“You don’t boss me around.”

Y/N sighed at his frustrating attitude, trying to keep her cool in front of bystanders, but it was pretty difficult when she was dealing with the most difficult man on the planet. “Harry. . .” she began, looking at him with these pleading eyes that meant something was wrong. Y/N hated looking weak, especially in front of him, but if it got him to cooperate for once, then so be it.

“It’s important business, that they have no part in.”

He looked at Y/N with a hard look, really not wanting to let his fun night come to a close all because she said so. But, he could tell from the way her eyes were the slightest shade of red and how she was still dressed in her pajamas in front of him that whatever this was must have some sort of emergent reasoning.

He looked to Dave and Michelle, the pair who were still so confused about what was happening, a sorrowful look on his face. A look Y/N never thought she would see. They got the idea, quickly scrambling for their clothes before leaving his office. Harry closed the door behind them, licking at his bottom lip before biting it and turning back around to Y/N with that stone cold face she’s grown used to.

“Well, you better get to explaining what the fuck this is all about before I lose my mind.”

Y/N took a shallow breath, running her hand through her very messy hair and speaking up, “Someone on your side hurt my sister, and I need you to find out who.”

“Hurt your sister?” He looked at her with a bored face, going to his big chair behind his desk and plopping down on it, propping his feet onto his desk and leaning back with his arms resting behind his head.

“She was drugged and raped and she says she saw your emblem on him, so, chop chop boss man and find out who the fuck was out last night.”

Shock laced his features at the r word but he soon went back to his bored look, and scoffing at the idea that one of his men would do something so vile. Serena was known to exaggerate and to lie about things ever since she first got her hands on drugs and Harry had no choice but to disbelieve the claims.

“I highly doubt it was one of my guys. Your sister has a tendency to. . . lie. Plus, if she was drugged there’s a low chance she’ll remember something as specific as my emblem but, I assume, nothing else,” he pointed out, raising his eyebrows at Y/N as if to say I win*.

Steam could practically be seen escaping Y/N’s ears as her face set into an angry frown and becoming increasingly red by the moment. Why did she think he would be considerate once? It was her mistake to think he had any ounce of a heart in his body, but even though she knew he would be difficult to work with, she was still beyond pissed at his response.

She stomped forward to the front of the desk, standing opposite him as she leaned forward and grabbed his white button-down shirt in her fist and yanking him forward so his body was in an awkward position and so his face was inches from her own. His smirk settled deeper on his face as his eyes trailed up and down her own face and her figure that was leaning over the desk. Because she never gave herself the time to change out of her pajamas, her silk camisole top revealed a lot of what was underneath to Harry; especially the lack of a bra.

Y/N could practically see the hormones flowing around in his head as he looked like he couldn’t give two shits about the way she was practically ripping his shirt off his body. She brought her other hand up and hooked it under his jaw, tilting his head up so he had no choice but to only look at her eyes.

“I figured I would ask nicely before I kill the prick myself. But there is no playing nice with you, is there Styles?” Y/N seethed, gritting out her words, pushing his body back harshly into his chair.

He laughed, genuinely laughed at the prospect of her being. . . nice. He ran his fingers through his hair, getting up from his position in his chair and walking around to meet her at the front of her desk. His slim fingers took the strap of her camisole, gently rolling it in his fingers before bringing it up and snapping it back down on her skin. “Not when you’re dressed like this, love.” Y/N pushed his hand off her body, standing up straighter in her spot and giving him the nastiest glare she could muster.

“Fine, but don’t be alarmed when you get the news someone died,” she stated, walking back over to the direction of his office door.

“You won’t be killing anyone, Y/N. And if you do, you leave me no choice but to kill one of yours,” he called out as she began to walk down the hall.

She stopped in her tracks, turning around to face him, to see that he was leaning against the doorway of the room, arms crossed in front of his chest. Y/N laughed at his proposition, looking down at her feet, stepping back in his direction with the tiniest foot forward.

“I think whoever raping my sister and then me killing them justifies this whole, eye for an eye thing, don’t ya think?” She hummed, giving him her final deadpan glare before, again, walking away from him and beginning her business for the day.

❊ ❊

A few days went by.

Y/N was closer to finding the guy, but it seems finding someone with a specific emblem tattooed on them proves to be quite difficult when a lot of guys have that same emblem tattooed on them in the exact same spot.

Cameras in the club did little to nothing to help her in the case, seeing as the place is dark, and that it’s sort of illegal to have surveillance in the bathroom. But her team was working hard and the more she didn’t have the guy in her hands, the more angry she became, and the more determined she was to freaking find him.

“All I’m saying is if you drop to your knees, he’ll be more willing to help you,” Y/N’s best friend Flo shrugged, taking a sip from her water as she leaned back in the chair.

“And I don’t need his help, he’s proven to be useless countless times.”

“Then why ask in the first place? Remind me again, because I’m a little lost.”

Y/N turned her head away from her laptop screen, looking at Flo with a bored look, sighing as she closed her laptop to give her friend her undivided attention. “Is there something you wanna talk about?”

“Yeah, like how I think this whole ‘Oh, I hate Harry,’ thing is bullshit. Why go to him if you know he won’t help?” Flo questioned, leaning forward with her arms resting on the mahogany desk.

“Maybe he grew some human decency since the last time I saw him?”

Flo squinted her eyes at her best friend, not exactly accepting that as an answer. It was for one pretty vague, and Flo knew her friend a bit better than that. There was something she wasn’t telling her, and she’d be damned if she left this room not knowing.

“Hm,” Flo hummed, sitting back against the leather chair, then taking another dramatic sip of her water. Y/N gave her a look of distaste as if to ask, is there a problem?

“And, when was the last time you saw him?”

Two weeks ago.

For that. . . thing they don’t talk about.

From what Flo knows, last time Y/N saw Harry was to discuss business settlements six months prior. So, if there’s no business that needs to be handled, there would be no reason for Y/N to see Harry, right? That’s a secret Y/N so desperately wants to keep. She’s ashamed of the night. Beyond words she’s ashamed and it’s only because she gave into temptation.

For a long time, she had Flo telling her that she should let go of this family feud because how could Y/N miss out on an opportunity to be with someone as handsome as Harry? As powerful as Harry? If they were together, there would be absolutely nothing stopping them, because not only were they good at what they do, but so many people respected them that the city would have no choice but to accept that they’re a couple.

But, that went against decades upon decades of family rivalry. The two would be damned if they were the reason this, basically family tradition, came to an end.

So, Y/N had no choice but to lie to her best friend, to avoid life as she knows it spiralling out of control.

She pondered in fake wonder for a moment before answering, “I think a little over six months ago.”

Flo nodded her head in understandment, taking in Y/N’s words but not exactly believing them. There’s a reason Y/N and Flo are best friends, and it’s because the two are very much alike. They’re sarcastic, they’re funny, they’re smart, they take their job seriously, and so many more reasons beyond that. But one defining reason is that they both understand the other so well. They can see right through each other. So for Y/N to think Flo doesn’t know she’s lying, is quite offensive to Flo.

Y/N tried to not break eye contact when she was talking, but she did, and that was the main giveaway that she was lying, even if she only looked away for a brief second. Flo had her down pat, much to Y/N’s demise.

And Flo wasn’t going to sit here and not call her out on it.

“Okay, and now I want the truth.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up, and she pursed her lips whilst shaking her head, “I don’t know what-”

“The. Truth. Y/N.”

“That was-”

“Now.”

Y/N huffed, looking down to her hands that she now placed in her lap. Under her friend’s hard gaze, Y/N’s face began to heat up with the embarrassment running through her veins. There really shouldn’t be any reason to be embarrassed about this, but she is. She hates that it happened, but more importantly she hates how she caved to him.

Glancing back up for a moment, Y/N bit her lip softly, feeling exceptionally small as her friend continued to wait for an answer. Taking a deep breath, Y/N sat up straighter in her chair, finally speaking the truth, “Two weeks ago.”

And now it was Flo’s turn to raise her eyebrows, jaw dropping practically down to the floor.

Then Y/N got to explaining.

❊ ❊

It was a Thursday night. Not even the weekend. Y/N had found herself in Central City, which is basically what everyone within the two groups calls the place on the border that separates the sides. She was just outside of Central City, dealing with a few of her loyal dealers all day, and in Central City is one of her favorite bars, so after a long day of working, she wanted to treat herself to a few casual drinks. Plus, she has a small crush on one of the bartenders there, so she figured that night she just may get lucky.

Little did she know, Harry had been just outside of Central City all day too, dealing with a group of rogues who thought they could steal from him and get away with it. They didn’t. So, after an exhausting day of interrogation and torture, Harry needed a drink. And what better place than his favorite bar in Central City?

She was there first, chatting up with Ben the bartender. She was laughing, drinking, listening to the horrible singer up at karaoke; just having an amazing time. Everyone knew who she was but they were all too drunk to worry about anything so they went on about their nights as if the Queen of half their city wasn’t in their presence.

But then everyone went silent, and the only thing that could be heard was Y/N’s laugh as Ben says something ridiculously funny. When she noticed everyone had gone quiet, she looked around the room to look for why no one was talking. It was quite eerie that one second everyone was having the time of their life to now everyone looking like they’d rather be anywhere else.

Then her eyes met his, and she nearly dropped the glass in her hand.

But she wasn’t going to leave just because he showed up. It was her favorite bar. And he felt exactly the same way because it was his favorite bar.

About fifteen seconds of awkward silence and intense staring went down before the two got fed up with all of the eyes focused on them.

“What’re you all looking at?” They snapped in unison. Quickly everyone went back to what they were doing, trying not to worry about a fight breaking out or a screaming match going down. And their worry soon started to dissolve as all the women began to fantasize about Harry and all the men wish they were worthy of being with Y/N.

Unfortunately for the two, the only seat left available in the place was the one on the right of Y/N at the bar. And when Harry sauntered over, going to sit down on the stool, Y/N was quick to stop him claiming she was saving the seat. He looked at her blankly, knowing fully well no one was going to sit there. He swatted her hand away, sitting down on the wood with a plush seat, quickly ordering himself a drink.

They tried not to converse throughout the night no matter how badly they wanted to snap at one another. But the more they thought about yelling, the more they drank, and the more they drank, the more willing they were to talk to each other.

That’s how their night progressed. By the end of it, they somehow came across the topic of sex. And how neither of them had gotten any in what felt like forever. In reality it actually hadn’t been long at all for either of them, but they tended to be dramatic, plus they were teetering on the tipsy-drunk mindset.

“Worst part is, he left his socks on! Fucking socks! It’s one thing to last thirty seconds, but to leave your socks on? Nearly killed the guy,” Y/N grimaced, recalling the event from last week.

Harry was having a hard time keeping in his laughs and judgements, but Y/N was okay with it because that was the whole point of telling the story in the first place. “Okay, you win this time, that is worse.”

“This time? I always win, Styles.” Y/N was practically gloating as she finished off the rest of her martini. He rolled his eyes at her words, shaking his head in response.

And no one could really predict the future events unfolding. It was quite out of the ordinary, and Y/N hardly knew what she was doing until after she had done it.

This thought dawned her hazy mind, and then she was placing her hand on his shoulder and looking at him with this lust and admiration she never thought she had inside of her. The moment he felt her hand on his shoulder, he looked at her quickly and nearly crumbled at the way she was looking at him.

If no one were in this bar with them, he wouldn’t hesitate to take her right then and there, but alas people were all around them. So, he had to keep it in his pants for just a little longer.

He leaned closer to her, taking in the scent of her heavenly perfume as she breathed in his ravishing cologne. They were so close, their lips barely grazed over each other’s, the tips of their noses brushing together softly as if it never really happened.

“What’s on your mind?” He wondered, his right hand coming down on her thigh, awfully close to her now aching center.

They were positive people were most likely watching them like hawks and that news of this just might spread around very fast by tomorrow morning. But, they just didn’t care. Y/N placed her hand on top of his, slowly dragging it even further up her thigh, so his fingertips just reached her dampening underwear.

His lips parted at the feeling, his eyes widening in awe as he stretched his fingers to again barely touch her where she really wanted him. She almost moaned at the feeling but kept the noises inside, not wanting to bring anymore attention towards them.

He laced her hand that was on his shoulder in his hair, softly tugging at the curls at the nape of his neck. She brought her wet lips up to his ear, whispering, “To see what it’s like for you. . . to win.”

He looked at her with an open-mouthed smirk, tongue poking the inside of his cheek before he hastily stood up and placed a few bills down on the bar to pay for their drinks. Y/N grabbed her purse, making her way to the door, Harry following behind her.

When they finally arrived to his place, stepping in the threshold of the foyer, all barriers fell down and all morals left their minds. Their lips were locked in a feverish kiss as he had her pinned up against the cool wooden surface of his door. Her legs were hiked up to wrap around his hips, high heels abandoned on the floor as she pressed the heels of her foot onto his ass, pushing his front harder on her core, creating some sort of friction between them.

He broke apart their lips, tangling his fingers in her hair as he tugged her head to one side to open up the view of her neck that he wanted so desperately to mark up. The second he bit down on her skin and licked the area, and peppered kisses up and down her throat, Y/N let out a moan she couldn’t suppress anymore. And then Harry smirked against her skin.

“It’s so ironic,” he started, grinding his hips harder into her as he brought his head up to look her in the eyes. “Out there, you’ve got people at your feet, looking up to you like an actual queen, not afraid to kill me at any given moment. But in here. . . I’ve got you writhing beneath my touch, just itching to be touched down here.”

And then he cupped her cunt, fingers petting her damp thong, having her mewl at the small but impactful contact. She wished he would just shut up and just fuck her already, but she could tell he was having fun with this; her being so complacent and not fighting him and instead agreeing that she was in fact desperate for him to touch her.

He pushed her skirt up her hips, getting better access to her pretty pussy, pushing aside her thong, gathering up her slickness onto his fingers. He brought his fingers up to his face, admiring the shine before wrapping his lips around them. If Y/N was standing, her knees surely would’ve gave out from under her at the sight. And she couldn’t help but get ever wetter as he sucked the digits, pulling them out with a pop.

“Sweet. . . like honey,” he grinned before reattaching their lips quickly. He brought his hands down onto her ass, gripping tightly before removing them from the door. Although they didn’t get very far and ended up on the comfy living room couch. There was no way they could handle stairs in their state, so the couch was good enough.

Really classy.

As soon as her back touched the soft surface, Harry was ripping her skirt and panty down her legs, and harshly tugged open her shirt that a few bottoms came right out of the seams. And if Y/N wasn’t drunk on alcohol and lust, she’d be beyond pissed.

But she really wasn’t one to talk, because she also ripped open his shirt, albeit not as rough but she’s pretty sure she ripped off one of his buttons too. Within a matter of seconds, the two were completely naked and beyond excited for what was to come. Literally.

Harry littered kisses up and down her body, mouth lingering longer on her aroused nipples, whilst he sank one then two fingers into her dripping hole. Y/N let out a breathy moan, lifting her lips up off the couch to push his fingers deeper inside of her.

“You’re so tight, Darling, and it’s just my fingers.”

He locked their lips in another passionate kiss as he pumped his fingers faster into her heat, gaining a few more moans out of that precious little mouth of hers. He hovered his lips over hers, speaking his next works huskily and softly that sent shivers down her spine, and made her pussy throb.

“Imagine me burying my cock into you. You squeezing me as I thrust into you, over and over again. Your warm walls holding onto me as I pound into you, absolutely wrecking you. Can you imagine it?”

Before she could say a single word, his thumb began working fast circles on her clit just as he continuously started to hit that special spot inside of her that had her seeing stars. The string of moans she let out could really put a pornstar to shame, and he didn’t even have his dick in her yet.

Was it embarrassing for her to be this much of a mess just from a simple fingering? Yes. But, just like the rest of the night, she lost the will to care.

“H-. . . Harry, please,” she whined as he switched the pace of his fingers to a slower rate, trying to prolong her orgasm for as long as he could.

He simply shook his head, denying her any satisfaction. Because as much as she was in charge out there, he was in charge here and he wouldn’t let her get what she wants so quickly.

Instead, he wanted to rile her up even more. With his free hand he brought it up to her breast, groping it roughly and then pinching her nipple between his thumb and first finger. And then he got an idea as he looked at the hickey that was starting to form on the side of her neck. He slowly trailed his fingers further up her chest, her collarbones, and eventually landing on the soft skin of her throat. He gently wrapped his hand around her throat to see what kind of reaction he could get out of her, and much to his surprise, her small hand wrapped around his wrist to, instead of pushing his hand away, push harder on her throat.

And if he wasn’t turned on then, he for fucking sure is now.

She loved the way his big hand was wrapped around her throat easily as if it had the smallest circumference. She loved the way it made it just the tiniest bit more difficult to breathe while he continued to ram her pussy with his fingers. And he loved just how much she loved it. “You naughty fucking girl. You like my hand around your neck don’t you? Does it turn you on?”

Y/N didn’t want to say anything, because as much as she was this confident woman, this moment was far too embarrassing, even for her. But, frustrated with no response, Harry pressed down more, using a deeper voice to elicit a response out of her.

“Answer me, Princess. I won’t continue if you don’t use your words,” he tsked, again slowing down his rhythm. Y/N groaned as his fingers practically came to a halt, bucking her hips up to continue the euphoric feeling inside of her.

“Plea–”

“Not until I get an answer.”

Y/N huffed, opening her eyes to look into his boring down on her. She bit her lip softly before nodding her head gently to respond to his previous questions.

“Uh-uh, I want words, Y/N. You love to talk, so c’mon, tell me.”

Groaning again, Y/N turned her head to the side to break eye contact. All she wanted was an orgasm, and she knew that within the next minute she was bound to burst and she hated that he was stopping her from reaching it. She took a breath and mustered up the courage to finally agree with his words, that yes it turned her on immensely.

“Y-yes. . . it turns me on,” she whispered. With that he smirked and removed his hand from her heat, making Y/N whimper at the loss of contact. But he couldn’t take it anymore, his erection becoming too unbearable that he had to ease his pain sooner rather than later.

Reaching down to his wallet to pull the condom out that he had stuffed in there a few nights ago, because he couldn’t be bothered to go upstairs to get his stash, he hastily ripped open the foil, careful not to rip the condom itself, and quickly rolled it onto his throbbing length.

He first pushed the tip in, giving her a few moments to adjust to his girth. Y/N completely lost it as he pushed further and further inside of her, back arching off the plush cushion as she cursed at the feeling of him stretching her. She widened the space of her legs, absolutely losing her mind as Harry’s face buried into her neck, the vibrations of his moans and groans shaking her body.

When he finally stopped, Y/N was quick to look down to see his cock was gone and deep inside of her body. She never felt so full in her life and she didn’t know how she was going to take him moving. The stretch came with a subtle burn that brought tears to her eyes. All good, of course.

“Harry, please move,” she begged, scraping her nails down toned back.

“Are you sure?”

“Fucking move.”

Then he slowly inched his length out before snapping his hips back against hers.

It was crazy that they were doing this.

Never in a million years did they think they would be having sex, each other’s names flowing out of their mouths so easily as their moans filled the air. The thought was always taboo for them but just this once they accepted their fates, and God, did it feel good.

It felt so good.

❊ ❊

When Y/N was finished explaining what had happened that one night two weeks ago – of course without the intense details – Flo sat with a smirk adorning her features.

Her eyes glowed, knowing she was right. She just knew this sort of thing was bound to happen. Next step, they were going to admit their undying love for each other and Flo couldn’t wait to get that news.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Y/N scolded.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” she shrugged. “. . So when’s the wedding?”

“Florence James!”

“Hey, I’m just dealing with the cards I’ve been dealt,” she raised her hands in defense.

“Can we just forget about him and get back to more important matters, like who assaulted my sister?”

Before Flo could respond, a knock sounded on the door to Y/N’s office. Yelling a quick come in, Y/N was quick to flip off her friend before whoever walked into the room.

Looking over her shoulder, Flo let out a laugh before getting up from her chair and then returning the hand gesture to Y/N. “Speak of the Devil,” she called as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Harry stepped into Y/N’s office, that annoying smirk ever so permanent on his features.

“Speaking about me, Princess?”

“You have two seconds to explain why you’re here before I stab you in the throat.”

“Relax,” he dragged out, taking off his coat and draping it over the back of the chair Flo was just sitting on before sitting himself down on it. “I come with good news.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, interested in what he could be talking about. She didn’t bother asking what good news, instead just waited for him to continue with whatever it was he had to say.

“You don’t have to worry about Jack anymore – Uh, the guy who. . . y’know, with Serena.”

To say Y/N was taken aback would be an understatement. She was so shocked that she had him repeat himself and explain what the fuck that was supposed to even mean.

“Look, I know I was harsh the other day. But when you left I got to thinking and. . . I know I would do anything I could if somebody hurt someone in my family. So, I got to asking around, turns out it was this guy Jack I had just fired and now you don’t have to worry about him,” he elaborated, clasping his hands together on his lap.

Y/N’s mind was in a whirlwind at this information, trying to process everything he just told her. It wasn’t a lot to take in but, it’s because he willingly helped her that had her in such a confused state. He had never done anything like this before and she was sure he wouldn’t do anything like it ever again.

But then she smiled. Genuinely smiled. Because he helped her. There’s no way she was going to let this one go. However, before she could gloat, she asked one very important question, “Is he alive?”

Harry gave her a knowing look, as if to say she should know him better than that.

Then she smiled again, even bigger than before. Because he killed someone for her and that – in their world – was the biggest sign of affection someone could give, because it meant that that someone meant something special.

“Fuck off with that smile,” he grumbled.

Y/N then stood up from her chair and walked over to him, standing in front of his seated figure, bringing her hand up to caress his jaw. “However could I repay you, Mr. Styles?”

It was then his turn to smile at her as he placed his hands on the back of her thighs and brought her to sit down on his lap.

“I can think of a few ways.”

And they were kissing like they never had before. This time they were so sober, it felt too real.

But they didn’t mind too much, because this moment felt like the start of something new.

#idk how to feel about the ending butttttt oh well :)#harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles au #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles #one direction fanfiction

1K notes · View notes

let-it-raines · 4 years ago

Note

Did you see that post floating around about the couple who were dating before they started at an office but didn't tell anyone and everyone kept calling them Jim and Pam and trying to convince them they should date bc they were friendly with each other??? Yeah, you should write that for CS

Nonnie, I did not see it floating around because I, well, don’t really check my feed, but @shireness-says did send it to me to write last night. Then you did too, and it seemed like I had to write a little something!

original post | here |

on ao3 | here |

-/-

This is a bullshit job.

Okay, it’s not, and Emma knows it. It’s a job that’s getting her insurance and enabling her to pay her bills after she lost her last job due to her asshole boss’s gambling problems that burned Queen’s Bail Bonds to the ground. Figuratively, not literally, but Emma really wanted to literally burn it down when it meant she was out of a job. And none of the other bail bonds places in town would hire her because Regina burned a bridge with anyone and everyone she could since she is the actual worst and made enemies with anyone who challenged her. Emma doesn’t exactly have much of an education and has a history that’s a little less than pretty, so after eating three saltine crackers for dinner and considering selling her car for grocery money, she bit the bullet and started applying for office jobs that have always seemed like her worst nightmare.

So, that’s how she got here, sitting in a closed off part of Mass General with no windows and possible mold with a stack of files bigger than her that she’s having to put in the computer because they’re going digital. She’s never thought about medical files before and has assumed they’ve always been digital, but the entire department full of filing cabinets says otherwise.

She’s probably going to be vitamin D deficient by the time she finds another job.

Really, it’s fine. It’s not all that bad. She likes her coworkers, and most days she can listen to music all day and get lost in the repetitiveness of her job. Today Emma’s a little cranky because her car wouldn’t crank this morning, and she should have sold that piece of junk when she had the chance last month.

Spinning in her chair, Emma pops an earphone out and looks across her desk where Mary Margaret and Ruby are talking. They both work in Community Outreach, which is an entirely different department up in the land of people and windows, but their boss sent them to help with the digitization because the hospital realized the temps they hired would take at least six months to do all the work if left to their own devices. Emma wouldn’t mind that, no matter how much she sometimes hates it, because it would mean she has a few more months to figure her shit out.

“Morning, Swan.” Emma groans and leans back in her chair, the wheels squeaking underneath her. Killian stops by her desk, taking a peppermint out of the bowl in the corner, and pops it in his mouth. He’s far too peppy this morning, and she just knows he went for a run this morning and then spent an unnecessary amount of time fixing his hair to give it that disheveled look. She doesn’t understand morning exercise people. They may not be people at all. “How are you today?”

“Exhausted.”

“What? No sleep last night?”

“Only a little.” She shrugs and holds her hand out. He tosses her a new peppermint, and she quickly unwraps it, the mint soothing her throat. The cold weather outside always dries out her throat, and having to walk to work this morning did not help. “My car wouldn’t start this morning, so I think I’m exhausted from walking here and knowing I’m probably going to be out of a car.”

His eyes glance up and down her, lips pressed into a firm line, and she expects him to make a joke that will have her rolling her eyes. Instead, he leans over her desk and presses his cheek to his palm, blinking slowly. “Do you need a ride home? I can give you one after work.”

“I can walk.”

“Swan. It’s no problem.”

Emma sighs and leans back, running her tongue against the peppermint. “You sure?”

“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t. Pick you up at five thirty?”

“See you then.”

Killian knocks his knuckles against the wood and flashes her a smile, walking away from her desk and down the hallway to the IT department, where he’ll spend the rest of the day answering calls from elderly doctors who don’t know how to log into their patient portal. Emma watches him walk away, knowing he won’t notice. Winter in Boston may be hell, but it does have benefits, such as the way Killian owns several fitted sweaters that hug his biceps. There are few perks to this job, and even though there are no windows, there are sometimes views.

When he disappears around the corner, Emma goes back to her files, typing in more patient information, when she hears Mary Margaret and Ruby rise from their chairs, heels clicking against the tile. They’ve got Cheshire Cat grins on their faces, every tooth showing, and if Emma ignores them, maybe they’ll go away.

She knows better than to hope for impossible things.

“So,” Ruby starts, incessantly tapping a pen against the desk to make Emma look up. Her desk has one of those tall, barrier-type things around the top because it’s an old secretary’s desk, which is great for hiding out. The problem is that people know to look for her now, and when they do, there’s no way for her to escape unless she wants to roll right out of the room. “He’s taking you home, offering you a ride.”

“Ruby,” Mary Margaret hisses, “don’t say it like that!”

“Why not? That’s what could happen! He takes her home, she invites him inside for some coffee to thank him, and then one thing leads to another…bam! They’re going at it on her couch!”

“Emma is going to file a complaint with HR about you.”

“If it gets she and Jones together, it’ll be worth it. I mean, come on. They’re adorable, and my God, the sexual tension makes me need some water to cool down.”

“Do you guys have anything new to say or is it going to be more trying to convince me to date the IT guy who walks in here to steal our peppermints and fix our computers when they break down three times a day?” Emma asks, half pretending to still be working.

Ruby and Mary Margaret stop looking at each other and look at her, brows to their foreheads and smiles slipping away more and more each second. “He comes in here to flirt, and you know it.”

Emma shrugs and grabs another peppermint. “He’s a friendly guy, easy to talk to, likes peppermints. I have peppermints.”

“Oh my God,” Ruby groans, dropping her head to the desk. “You’re killing me. Absolutely killing me.”

“You know, Emma, there’s no rule against office romances,” Mary Margaret suggests. “I think you should give it a shot.”

Emma rolls her eyes and keeps typing in patient information. “Maybe I will, but maybe I’m not going to ask him out until my time here is up just to torture the both of you.”

She has no intention of asking him out, but they don’t have to know that.

They gasp, and Emma knows she’s won this round. It doesn’t matter, though, because they’ll be back at her desk to have this conversation again after the next few times Killian walks through the office. And he does walk through the office at least seven more times that day. He has to fix her computer, then Ruby’s, and then there’s a near catastrophe where the digital filing system shuts down. Another time he comes in before lunch, asking everyone in the office if they’d like anything from the hospital deli, and then he comes back with salads for everyone, eating with the three of them and Jeff from IT. Once more he comes in for a peppermint, saying he just couldn’t have his breath smell any longer, but he stays and chats for fifteen minutes about a new ice skating rink he’s thinking of taking his friend Rob’s kid to. He suggests Emma should check it out, and then Ruby makes a sexual joke about ice skating, which is something Emma didn’t even know could be sexual if you weren’t a professional who could do all those lifts and dances or whatever. Emma is fit, but she couldn’t do that.

Finally, he comes into the office a little before five thirty, his car keys in hand, and Emma grabs her things and walks with him out of the office and back up into sunlight, which she forgot existed. She’ll barely get to see any of it, however, because it’s December and the sun basically sets at noon.

She is definitely going to have a vitamin D deficiency soon. Maybe she should start taking vitamins.

She and Killian talk about their days during the ride to her apartment, but mostly Emma sits in silence and listens to the radio, letting her eyes rest from staring at small print and a computer screen all day. It’s an adjustment for her to work regular hours, and all she wants now is to consume an entire pizza and have a large glass of wine.

Or two. Two large glasses of wine sound good.

When Emma opens her eyes, Killian is parked outside her building, his car idling, and she blinks herself away, undoing her seatbelt and sitting up. “Thank you for the ride, Jones.”

“Not a problem, love.”

She twists to the side, looking at him, and thinks of what Ruby and Mary Margaret said earlier.. “You want to come in for some coffee?”

“You know I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I have caffeine this late.”

Emma shrugs and leans over the console to press her lips to his, lingering as Killian’s hand comes to cup her cheek, his fingers threading through her ponytail as he tugs her closer. He tastes like peppermint, and it makes Emma smile.

“I know,” Emma sighs, pressing her forehead to his. “But I need coffee if I’m going to stay up until a normal hour, and I need to deal with my car tonight. Do you think it’s a goner?”

Killian pinches his brows and kisses her again, his tongue teasing her bottom lip, but he pulls back and crosses her arms over her chest, waiting for his real answer, even if she already knows. “I think we can look at it, have a mechanic look at it, and then look at it again when you disagree with the mechanic, but I think it may be time to lay the bug to rest. It had a good run, and I will always hold dear the memory of you nearly hitting me with it.”

“You can’t say I don’t make a great first impression.” She laughs at the memory and the way Killian had told her to go fuck herself, but quickly her heart drops and she groans, wondering how many curses she can mutter in a thirty-second time frame. Probably not as many as Killian did that day. The British know how to curse. “I don’t have the money for a new car. What am I going to do?”

“I can take you to work. We’re going to be at the same place for at least another month or so. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get another job at the hospital. And if not, I can still take you to work and pick you up. We’ve been sleeping at each other’s places most nights anyway. If you don’t want that, there are several different public transportation options. But I think Mary Margaret and Ruby would die if I took you to work in the morning.”

He waggles his brows and smirks, leaning into her, and Emma can’t help the smile that creeps up on her. They didn't want it to be a thing that they were dating because Emma wanted to get the job on her own, so they never told anyone. “They would actually die. I mean, seriously. They told me I should invite you up for coffee and then ride you on my couch, and you know, that doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea.”

“Well, I would have been up for that even without the coffee invitation, love.”

“That a double entendre?”

“Of course.” He reaches over and grabs her hand, threading their fingers together. “When do you think you’re going to tell them we started dating months before you started at the hospital?”

Emma shrugs and leans back, smiling. “Eh, I think one day we should walk in holding hands and let them think it’s new.”

“Tomorrow? I could give you a mark on your collarbone to really drive them crazy.”

“Absolutely not, but nice try buddy.” She nods her head toward the building. “Come inside with me and let’s get dinner. Pizza sound good?”

“Pizza sounds fantastic, love.”

-/-

They walk inside holding hands a month later, and Mary Margaret stumbles while Ruby drops her coffee over her computer’s keyboard. Killian is the one who fixes it, and Ruby is still so shocked she can’t interrogate him while he works.

Emma has a feeling Ruby Lucas has never been shocked silent, and Emma can barely hold in her laughter.

She never does tell them how long she and Killian were dating. She doesn’t think their computers could take it.

-/-

She does find them in their office a year later, though, when they’re back in Community Outreach and she’s working in the conference center – which has windows! – and shows them the ring on her finger.

Ruby, thankfully, didn’t have any coffee in her hands.

#cs prompts #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan #office antics #Anonymous

73 notes · View notes

a-story-teller · 4 years ago

Text

I’ve been on “administrative leave” (i.e. suspension) from my job since Monday and I have no idea if I’ll even be payed for my time away. This is all happening because a major change happened with the food we serve to the kids. Since I haven’t been in that classroom for *over a month* and the other teachers told me literally nothing to update me on the situation, and I have 0 reason to assume a consistently proven safe food item would suddenly be allergy-restricted, I ended up serving bread cooked in butter to a lactose-intolerant child.

Now, if we’re being honest, it’s extremely mild. Oh no, the chronically constipated 2-year-old will finally poop. But my job treats it as an allergy, and is coming down on me with the severity of if I’d sent a child with a peanut allergy into anaphylactic shock.

Not counting the Breadstick Incident, I’ve been at this job just three months this week and: - I had to report to the state on suspicion of an 18 month old being sexually assaulted (which my manager tried to talk me out of, and then I told her I was a rape victim and she should take me seriously, and then the next day she fucking used that on me and said I shouldn’t let my ~emotions~ get in the way of my judgement... I wanted to strangle her) (also in hindsight I am super glad I didn’t cave to her manipulation and gaslighting bc I know what a normal toddler’s genitalia looks like and I was absolutely right to be worried...) - I’ve been “excluded” for “health reasons” (a stuffed up nose) until I could schedule a Covid test - a full week later because it was peak rush time and I don’t have a car - and then NOT get paid for that time because the test was NEGATIVE - I’ve been chewed out and yelled at by my coworkers not even because I did something wrong but just because they’re stressed and take it out on me - I did Not get an actual trainer ever and learned everything via osmosis in a constantly shifting environment and then get written up every time I make a mistake, which, again, I was never trained how not to make - I’ve gotten written up on two separate occasions for actions that are never condemned in written policy... I would be reprimanded and told to review the paper and then come into the office and say that nowhere on the paper does it tell me not to do what I did and they just shrug and write me up anyway - I got written up for my coworker’s mistake because “we were both responsible” even though it happened when she was a) by herself and b) in a separate room - the parking lot in front of our door became a construction site without warning, forcing me to double my walk time to the bus stop each way in the worst of the winter weather - speaking of the bus, I wake up around 7 to work at 10... and most nights I get home at 8 pm. That’s a minimum of 12 hours of my day used up by my job, but sometimes it gets up to 14. - the 20-year-old with a year and a half of childcare experience got the position of lead teacher that I was literally hired for... because she’s been at this center longer and they like her. - also the room that I was hired to be lead teacher for isn’t even open and I’ve been given the “next month” card two months in a row - during that two months I haven’t even been working childcare I’ve been doing laundry and dishes and making lunch for the classrooms and like. Doing the cleaning lady’s job. I am a professional childcare worker and I spend my day wiping down windows and laminating papers for admin - my coworker has gotten pregnant... twice (and my other coworker said she hoped she didn’t keep it, y’know, for the kid’s sake... about a childcare worker. I am not confident that this is the field for her) - my manager keeps playing the victim and being like “oh, it’s a pandemic, everything’s up in the air and that’s why you don’t have the job you were hired for” when, uh. I got hired during the pandemic. If you could advertise that job during the pandemic then you can provide that job during the pandemic - my hours are so unpredictable that I am supposedly full-time 40 hrs etc. and I bring home 350$ a week instead of the gross estimate of 500$ - I can’t take morning shifts until I have a car but unless I work morning shifts I can’t afford a car. love living the life of an impossible cube

Not to mention the almost 2-month-long limbo of a pre-hire process that put me 250$ down the financial shitter before I even started the job.

And during the questioning that I received about the Breadstick Incident I was asked questions about my CLEANING ROUTINE, something *completely* separate, with my manager saying that apparently other teachers don’t believe I’m doing my cleanings. WHAT? Let me break that down: first, in an HR meeting about an allergy incident, why are my cleaning habits being discussed? Second, in what world do we conduct these inquiries based on clique-y rumors? Thirdly, obviously they’d say that, they don’t like me. I’m baffled, frankly.

And yes, they did tell me to expect to be back to work Wednesday morning.

It’s Thursday am and I’m sat at home. :)

If they rule that the allergy thing was my fault and not the company’s, I won’t get paid for the time I was off. If they don’t rule in my favor I’m going to look for another job because it’ll be incredibly obvious that they’re there to protect their own backs and not actually care for either their employees or the kids :(

#personal #will probably delete later #anyway I needed to get this off my chest and make a little list of transgressions #I have 3 nice coworkers and I treasure them... the rest are at best snitches #at worst child abusers :)#Oh yes I too love yelling at toddlers :) it is why I got this job of course #goddamnit #this is a forbes 100 company that everyone's like 'they're my second family!' about #so of course my experience is horrendous #and also it's been 3 months and I want to leave... boy this job has insurance!! BENEFITS #and I might have to leave fr fr because they're so awful #incredible

2 notes · View notes

lovedeluxe92 · 6 years ago

Text

okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that.

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist, but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit.

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy.

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have?

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #tw: suicide #tw: drugs #idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking #mess #i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally #better safe than sorry with tws

7 notes · View notes

burntley · 6 years ago

Text

GARRETT WATTS, 25, HE/HIM —— hey, did i just see BENTLEY walking around the block? i hear they’re from the FORD FAMILY* and they’re a PARENT who is a RADIO DJ for a living. they always look like they’re hiding something…but they’re so EFFERVESCENT sometimes i wonder how they can be OVERWHELMED. they certainly can’t be hiding CPS IS TRYING TO TAKE AWAY HIS GUARDIANSHIP, can they? tw: car accident, death

hey y’all its cam heheheheheheh

basically i have some free time now that im settled into college and my dumbass decided to pick up a new muse so LETS SEE hOW THIS GOES

im also. slightly high while writing this so forgive me if i sound like a whole ass idiot <333

THIS IS BENTLEY ( call him ben or bent, or link if you know him from his radio show ) isnt he cute i love garrett sm ugh he’s based off of nani from lilo and stitch <3

he’s 25 and just received his master’s in marine biology with a concentration in marine wildlife from the university of hawaii

his last year of grad school, he signed a contract with a marine research project and essentially spent 2/3 of his time on a boat for an entire year. it was his dream job, but his contract was terminated when the expedition ended at the end of the year and he ended up without a job

so, with promises of another oceanography project based out of san francisco, bentley packed up his family and things and moved to halston ( since, u kno, san fran is expensive and only thirty minutes from halston )

he doesn’t really have a solid occupation -- he’s been bouncing around waiting for this research expedition to begin and currently is a radio dj at WHEX ( catch him hosting wake up with WHEX every morning as ‘link’, short for his middle name, lincoln )

he also dabbles in freelance photography and standup comedy bc why tf not amirite whatever pays da bills

( tw: car accident, death ) about seven years ago, bent’s entire family -- him, sadie, their parents, and his youngest sibling -- got into a serious car accident on a rainy night. tragically, bent’s parents and his youngest sibling did not survive their injuries. bent, who was newly 18, was left to take care of 10-year-old sadie and they’ve been inseparable ever since

coping with the tragedy was particularly hard for bent and he considers those years the worst of his life. even now he rarely ever talks about what happened, even with his sister

he does his best to be a good role model, especially for his “kids” ( none of them are actually his and he’s literally 25 ) but also just for anybody he associates with

he’s such a hufflepuff it fkin hurts

also such a pisces it hurts

he’s a giant fuckin dork

loves video games

mildly addicted to caffeine but its cool

will FIGHT people for his family no questions asked

speaking of which

his secret is that cps is trying to take away his guardianship over the rest of the ford kiddos & sadie because he doesn’t have a well-enough paying & steady job to say he can support a family

he’s been hiding it ever since he came to halston and is working his ass off to make enough money and be able to show for it so he doesn’t lose his kiddos :/

he is ridiculously close to his lil sister and would do. pretty much anything for her and the same goes for the rest of the kiddos

never been in a serious relationship :/ sweet boy never had the time

also hes p sure sadie would kill whoever he tried to date

he tries really really hard to be like the cool dad but he’s kind of just a giant dork in his mid-twenties and has a hard time dividing himself between being a big brother and being a father

he literally is so fckin proud of being a dad though like he def has pictures of the ford kiddos as his lock screen and home screen and probs has one in his wallet to show people whenever he gets the chance ):

hehehe ok pls come plot with my tol boy ( he 6′4 like garrett )

here’s some plots im kinda lookin for:

coworkers/the other host of his radio show !!

a fling he had once that he never talks about ( which, btw, he swings both ways )

pseudo-kids pls i s2g he needs to be a Cool Dad

friends ): he’s such a dork and will bring u gifts for no reason pls love him

bro an enemy would be SICK ..... he’s not a v antagonizing person but ooooo bich does he know how to hold a grudge

someone who broke his heart :/ bc :/ ow

LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE .

hehe thank u love yall bye

#halstonintro #hopefully this shows up but i doUBT IT #car accident tw #death tw

2 notes · View notes

emmvhq-blog · 6 years ago

Text

hello everyone !! i’m nat and i’m very excited i found this rp bc i believe my bby emma can fit v well here, i hope so anyway. i’m 20 and i’m a walking trash can, but at least i’m gay so it’s all good ig. if you’d wish to plot pls pls like this or just send me a message !! i’m down to most plots and don’t let my awkwardness fool u i want all them plots ! anyways now onto my bby em under the cut lmao.

ANNE HATHAWAY. 35. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ↷ do you hear rebel rebel, by david bowie? that must be emma hyde. she has been living in san francisco as a veterinarian for thirty-five years. during that time they have earned the reputation of the hedonist. it makes sense you know, they can be bossy and overcritical. but let’s not forget they’re pretty determined and intelligent.

**tw death

*** tw depression

emma was born in san francisco california in 1982. her parents were high school sweethearts who had been together for years, they had her when they were around 26 and were a cute lil fam, everything was perfect but sadly it didn’t last long.

** tw death; when emma was barely 6 months old her mom passed away, on her way home from work she was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time and was mugged, she tried to fight back which was a bad decision which ultimately led to her premature death.

so ofc her dad was devastated and everything from that on was tough af but he did his best to look after emma. he was working double jobs and would take her with him bc he just wasn’t interested in leaving her with a nanny?? and overall was a great dad tru champ

bc of this growing up emma and her dad were close af, he was her best friend and they were literally always together. he never remarried and would barely ever date, and when he did he’d never introduce his gfs to emma, so she always missed out on a true mother figure which was just sad af

naturally she’d hang out with a bunch of men the whole time, her dad and his friends / coworkers who’d also look after her. so she kinda got into a lot of hobbies and things that were lowkey considered “boyish” back then.

despite this emma was a v girly girl though, and she’d get frustrated af when her dad couldn’t pull off those cool pretty hairstyles for her or when he’d pick out the wrong pair of jeans or shoes lol which happened all the time.

*** tw depression; so yes emma was pretty much her dad’s whole world and was always getting involved in everything she asked. he even coached her soccer team and all lol. bc he was always so upbeat and a playful dad, it wasn’t until she got significantly older that she started realizing her dad actually suffered from depression. ((nowadays she’s constantly checking up on him))

at age 14 she had a big ass crush on one of her teachers and this was when she started figuring out her sexuality, bc she’d always been so close to her dad she didn’t hesitate on coming to him first. at first he thought maybe she was just confused, maybe growing up without any women in her life had something to do with it ??? but sure enough that had nothing to do with it and it was something he learned eventually. it threw him off at first but he never made her feel wrong for it or anything. a+ parenting if u ask me.

her dad had saved enough money to send her to uni, but emma wanted to become a veterinarian which was a little more expensive than he expected, so she offered to work a part time job and help pay for her own studies.

when she was an intern right before graduating, some guys she used to hang with talked her into taking some supplies from the clinic and sell them it. it seemed like an easy way to do money and she really needed it at the time? so it sort of became a thing for her. this went on for a while, even after she was already an established veterinarian and didn’t really need the money anymore ?? it still seemed like a good and easy way to make some extra cash. this stopped a while ago tho after it got to be too much and she didn’t even need it anymore so ya know.

personality wise, she’s kind of a mix between eleanor from the good place and gina from brooklyn 9 9 ?? just a bit anyway. she’s very skillful and smart, mostly because of her dad who taught her a lot of things. she looooves classic cars and even drives one of her own (a 67 ford mustang) and also motorcycles ?? she probably has one idk i haven't made up my mind yet but she's definitely had one in the past at least

loves being a Big Lesbian and that’s like 90% of her whole personality. just very gay

will look good asf in suits and also in pretty dresses and literally anything. basically dressed to kill. a True Vers

grew up an angsty teen in the 90’s so obvs she loves anything from that decade. big fan of alternative rock. leather jacket lesbian, and obvs loves all animals but dogs have a bigger place in her heart.

has a dog, a brown labrador. he’s a Big Boy but he’s her baby. literally her child. his name is remi.

somE QUIck wc’s; coworkers maybe ?? someone she met at the bar bc she probs goes there often lmao. uhh another Cool Cars enthusiast she can gush about cars with lmao. clients ig ?? she’ll take care of y'alls pets. maybe childhood friends??. former flings/relationships. and uHhh idk anything else !!

this got way too long and it’s messy lmao! but yeah thats p much it for now and ily for reading !! Pls come plot w me !!

#rush.intro #rush.ooc #waddup im nat and i never fucking learned how to intro #also it's late and i dont have much followers rn but i just really wanna get started lmfaobghj #i only used this gif bc anne as selina was good asf and it's awfully underrated gjdhf

4 notes · View notes

blacknovelist · 7 years ago

Note

I really like your ageswap!au and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I love angst so I have this scene in my head. In the future, old retired Izuku gets a phone call. Toshinori has been in a fight against all for one and has been really badly injured and is in the hospital. So he rushes over to the hospital maybe he meets Inko there and he learns about Toshis injury and is just crying cause he's scared Toshi will die.

Anon, dude, I’m so glad you’re liking the Ageswap AU!! :D I mean, we love it, so it’s real fun when you guys are having fun too. Also, holy shit, ur wrecking me with those thoughts, my dude. I really like them!

I don’t think it would be AfO dealing a blow like that on Toshinori in a distant-future thing though, because that particular fight is going to be big and spectacular and also probably include all of Ageswap 1-A bc there’s no way they’d let Toshinori square off without them. It’s a little too close to Canon!Toshinori’s story for my tastes, you know? But you know what me and @guardianlioness think works just as good? A scenario where Toshinori is a pro and is in a fight where the tide is against him, and in order to save people’s lives, he purposefully puts himself in the line of fire.

We’ve actually talked a bit abt this scenario before too so I hope ur ready for this hypothetical Ageswap scenario to get much worse

Deku, as a person, is all rationality. That’s a fact of life. So when he gets a call from Inko while she should be on duty, her voice cool and professional (that’s her doctor voice, this is serious), he’s already bracing for it. The fight was on the news earlier - Toshinori was injured, her voice confirms in his ear. Observations come to him - the nearest hospital, the fact that Inko is talking to him rather than working on Toshinori, the doctors that would have been working with Inko when he arrived - and he worries, but he doesn’t panic. He takes the car (Inko didn’t take it today, decided to take public transit because the walk would be better) and doesn’t rush, because it would put everyone else at risk, and Inko doesn’t need another family member to worry about tonight.

But Deku was a pro hero, Deku was a teacher, Deku is a father - he loves and fears and worries, yes, but he will believe in the only outcome possible. Toshinori will be okay.

His daughter is waiting, ready to meet him as soon as he walks through the doors. The details come forth immediately, clipped, detailed - she’s still wearing her scrubs, but the other nurses and doctors wave her off with Deku when she asks about other patients. All Might is the only severe injury they’ve gotten in that night, and family is important. If they need her later, they’ll call her. She wants to say no, that she’ll do her job, damn it, because this is what she went to school (to UA, to one of the most grueling programs there are for specialists in hero medicine) for, but her coworkers know how to get her to agree and she does, because she doesn’t want to leave Toshinori’s side either.

Bless her heart, though - Inko called everyone, and soon that empty hospital room is full of familiar worried faces that find the scene of family lying on pale hospital sheets far too familiar. He swims in the bandages and pieces of gauze they’ve wrapped him in, mask fogging with every shallow breath. Heavy bruises peek through where the standard paper gown and strips of white don’t quite cover, his hair limp and without its trademark volume, dark bags clear on his face. Toshinori looks like a wreck.

Enji had been white when she came to guide them to the room. He stays just as pale when they walk in, whispering something under his breath that no one can hear. No one needs to mention, though, that he’s been saying the same thing since they got the news, over and over, like a mantra. Like a prayer. They don’t need to ask to know exactly what he’s whispering.

“He’ll live. He won, and he’ll pull through after this so we can all beat his ass for getting hurt and be relieved about it and go on with our lives together. He’ll live.”

Tensei and Nedzu are wound up like a pair of rubber bands, like they always are when they’re at the hospital, but they come like they always do, because some things are more important than fears and discomforts. Tensei calls Tenya once they arrive, to tell him about Toshinori’s condition, but when his older brother answers, his voice cracks. Hizashi shoves himself into Aizawa’s shoulder and refuses to move; Aizawa lets him, without any play at objection. When Nemuri takes one look at their friend and clutches Yu and Shinji’s hands hard enough to leave marks, they let her. The graduated class of 1-A lean on each other for support, but their eyes are only for Toshinori.

Naomasa comes in next, followed by Nana and Gran Torino. They’re grim, the three of them, and Nao looks like he’s yanking all his worry and panic and fear back by it’s damn teeth so it isn’t plastered all over his face. Deku takes one look at the kid (he isn’t really but everyone is a kid to Deku, they always will be) and pulls him under one arm, then levels a sweeping look at the rest of them and opens his other, which is as good an invitation as any.

Even in old age, his arms are sturdy and feel like home.

That night it’s like they’re in UA again, piling onto the chairs and leaning on each other as they settle in to sleep. They’re all loathe to leave him alone right now, when he’s still in such a delicate state, but that’s not a possibility, not anymore; they have jobs, duties, obligations. Things they can’t leave to others to do for them, not for long. Tonight, though, tonight they’ll stay. They’ll stand guard and refuse to leave him alone, because they’re heroes, yes, but this is what they want to do as friends, as family, and they’ll come back as long as they’re needed.

(And later, after days and a week of worry, of fear, of regular visits and quiet words exchanged in the silence they cannot stand, Toshinori pulls through, and wakes up for the first time. He will laugh and joke at the twenty-five faces he wakes up to, say “you didn’t think All Might would go down that easily, did you?”

They’re too busy jostling each other in joy, and crying (just a bit, they swear, but it isn’t), and repeating, over and over, “i’m glad you woke up”, not actually in those words exactly. There’s far more swearing and hugs and affectionately barbed phrases than entirely necessary, but that’s alright.

Because he’s okay.)

27 notes · View notes

accio-ambition · 8 years ago

Text

lighting up the path

a/n: Happy belated Valentine’s Day, Emily (@swan-road), from your really bad and really late CSSV. (Me. I’m the really bad CSSV. I’m sorry.) You asked for a fake dating AU and I tried my best. This can sort of stand on it’s own but, hopefully, I can add a second part in the near future. You know, when life calms down. It was such a pleasure talking to you and getting to know you even more. Hope this brightens your day!

I have never been to a planetarium, nor do I know how they work. But I have been to the Natural History Museum in New York, so I know they do have a planetarium and Neil deGrasse Tyson is the dude in charge there. That’s the extent of my knowledge.

He’s known her for far longer than he can recall – uni orientation seems so far in the past – when he realizes he’s failed her as a friend. Growing up with Liam and the ridiculous amount of clear night folklore and stories he told, Killian honestly doesn’t see how such an oversight is possible.

And yet, it is.

She’s never seen the stars.

Emma Swan has never seen the stars.

“What do you mean, never?”

She shrugs, shifting herself on the mattress to better look at him. “The places I was always placed in were in cities or the suburbs where it was too light all the time,” Emma explains.

It still hasn’t sunk in with him. “You’ve never seen the stars?” he asks again, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Broken record much?” she chuckles. “What’s the big deal?”

And when Killian takes a minute to think about it – what is the big deal about his love for stars? – it all comes back to having such good memories with his brother. The only person to completely love him, raise him, and tell him the stories of those that watch over them from the heavens.

From the tales she’s told, Emma never had anyone like Liam to so much as comfort her from nightmares.

“Swan, stars are whole new worlds,” he says, poking her in the shoulder for emphasis. “The skies open up and smile down upon you like…”

Emma grins at him and distracts him. Like that, he thinks. Just like that.

He shakes his head to bring him back on track. “You need to see the stars.”

Groaning, Emma rolls off the bed and moves to put her shoes on. “And how do you propose we go about that, huh?” she asks challengingly, raising a brow while she pulls on her shoe. “Neither of us have cars or money or time to drive anywhere to see them.”

“Those sound like the perfect reasons to follow the stars, love,” he tells her. “We’re young and stupid.”

“You’re stupid,” she quips.

He feels a silly endearing smile grow across his lips. “One day. One day soon, Swan.”

Her other shoe halfway on her foot, Emma glances toward him. “Is that a promise, Jones?” she asks him quietly.

Killian nods.

The first of many, I hope.

Though it might not seem it at first, it’s one of the most important promises he’s ever kept.

It takes a couple years – four and a half, to be precise – but his hard work pays off. Since Liam’s enrollment in the navy, Killian had wanted to follow in his big brother’s footsteps and take to the seas. But the stars – they had so much more to learn than he ever thought possible. And with their stories, he found himself falling into the past more often than not, so he picked up a few classes over the years. By the time he and Emma make it to graduation – together, as they’ve always been – he knows enough about history to write his own Hamilton.

(He doesn’t. Historical musicals are too in, he tells himself. But one day, maybe.)

Emma immediately gets an internship with the NYPD that leads to her promotion as an investigator once she’s finished the correct training, nearly in record time. Her hours are horrible and she gets beaten up more than Killian would ever wish for her, but she loves it, if her constant smile is any indication.

He’s managed to nab a part time gig at Panera to have some source of income and while he’s searching for a real job, Killian’s crashing in Liam’s old place rent free. She’s got a room with four other girls she met on Craigslist not too far away and, when they can, they grab pizza or Netflix the shit out of Making a Murderer.

Killian’s dreading getting ready for his evening shift when he finds the job opening of his dreams. An opening at the Hayden Planetarium. It’s a bit of a stretch for someone fresh out of uni, but he technically meets all of the job requirements and, at this rate, what does he have to lose?

He sends Emma a text, knowing full well she’s working, along the lines of lol, applied for a job at the Natural hist museum bc why not.

A few hours later, she responds with, HA dinners on me if you get it.

So he applies, hits the send button and walks out his brother’s apartment door to hopefully one of his last shifts at Panera.

(Should he get the planetarium job, he will miss the free fresh bread.)

It’s been close to a month since he nearly impulsively applied to the planetarium when one Regina Mills calls him. He’s walking to Panera, longing for the days when he’ll wake up excited to go to his job, when his phone rings.

I’ve got an interview, he texts her.

Swan must be in the bathroom or something because she immediately responds, Where?

Hayden.

Fuckin yes, Jones. That makes him laugh hard than he should as he’s waiting for a cross light to illuminate. Do you want me to come over and you put on a fashion show for me?

He doesn’t deign her a response. She shows up to his house with a six-pack later that night anyway.

Maybe it’s just his insane sense of optimism, but Killian knows before he truly knows that he’s been hired. He’s got a bubbling feeling in the pit of his stomach the day he gets the call, eating at the local Chinese restaurant with Emma across the tiny table from him. His phone lights up in the dark eatery and Killian feels his heart stop.

“Answer it,” Emma says around a mouthful of lo mein. “I’m just going to be eating my noodles.”

He’s barely said hello when his new advisor formally offers him the job. It’s a blessing that he’s rendered speechless because he wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise – she’s rattling off all this information and all he really understands is that Regina Mills needs an answer by the end of the week. He agrees to her terms even though he already knows his answer and says goodbye before the idea really begins to sink in.

Pressing the end call button, Killian slowly lets the ambient light of the restaurant consume him, still in the most honest form of shock.

“You got it, didn’t you?” Emma asks.

Killian smiles wide. “How could you tell?”

She tilts her head to the side, sending him an equally as endearing grin. “I knew you would,” she tells him confidently. Then, pointing at him with her chopsticks, she adds, “Plus, you have a stupid smile on your face.”

Scoffing, he retorts, “My smile is nothing less than dashing, Swan. You of all people should know that.”

(He detects a hint of a blush on her cheeks even through the low light and that makes him beam.)

“Shut up,” she quips. “When do you have to decide by?”

“The end of the week,” he responds.

She sighs and reluctantly sets down her chopsticks. “Well, congrats, Jones. Now I’ve got to go to the ATM.” Grabbing her purse, her mumbled “Don’t eat my noodles” can hardly be heard above Killian’s laughter.

Killian calls Ms. Mills back the next morning to formerly accept the position of assistant director of the Hayden Planetarium, one of the youngest ever in the position if his new boss is to be believed. She seems harsh – had seemed particularly intense when she sat down to interview him – but she exhibits a softer side when, as their conversation comes to a close, she invites him to an office potluck at the end of what will be his second week of work.

“It’s a monthly occurrence that we are dedicating to you this time,” she explains, her voice still sharp and relentless despite the casualness of the discussion.

“I am honored, Ms. Mills.”

“I expect your RSVP on Monday morning when you come into the museum. Eight o’clock sharp.”

“Aye, ma’am. Thank you again.”

Even from across the city, he can hear her annoyance toward him. “Stop thanking me, Mr. Jones,” she growls. “You’ve done the work to get the position, you don’t need to kiss my ass anymore.”

Thank goodness he’s already seated on the couch in his shitty apartment because, boy, was he unprepared for language like that from the respected Regina Mills. “Yes, Ms. Mills. Have a lovely weekend.”

And with that, he hangs up, still in disbelief. He’s got an excellent job to start in a field that he loves and a supervisor who apparently won’t take bullshit.

Sounds a lot Liam, funnily enough.

He chuckles at the thought while pulling up Emma’s contact information on his phone.

Come visit me on Tuesday when you get off.

She responds rather quickly by her standards. I don’t get off till 5.

Then come at 5.

Jones, that’ll be your second day of work.

She’s got a fair point. Though the few coworkers he’d met on his interview seemed polite, he doesn’t doubt for a minute that they would tattle on the new guy. And Ms. Mills has a stick up her ass for sure, so despite his qualifications, he’d probably find his ass fired if she finds an unauthorized person in the planetarium.

Still, he sends, Please, Swan. Because he needs to keep his promise now that he has access to the stars. Try something new? It’s called trust. It’s the new fad these days.

He can practically hear her scoff and see her eye roll. You’re an ass, she texts back. Fine. But if you get fired, you can’t blame me.

Never would.

He’s nervous all weekend about starting this new job, hardly eats a full meal and spends an ungodly amount of time on Sunday afternoon contemplating what to wear so as to impress but not to give off the air that he’s too good for this place. Because he’s not: this place is too good for him. He feels like an intruder. For god’s sake, Neil deGrasse Tyson is his boss.

Killian shows up ten minutes earlier than Regina told him to on Monday morning, too excited to wait another minute. The security guard lets him in, handing him his credentials as he passes through the metal detector. He flawlessly finds his way to the little hole in the wall that Regina said would be his office, and settles in with a goofy smile on his face.

He’s going to have to get used to this. He has no intention of moving jobs any time soon.

By the time the museum and planetarium close on that Monday, Killian’s swapped with research to do and already in progress projects to jump in on and he’s never felt so giddy in his life.

His phone rings as he emerges from the subway station and Emma’s face smushed against a piece of glass pops up on his screen. With a grin, he picks up.

“Hi honey,” she greets him jokingly. “How was your first day of work?

“Lovely, thank you for asking.”

“Did you make any new friends?” she asks.

“Not quite yet, but all in due time, Swan.” He crosses the sidewalk and heads to his apartment building. “Remember, tomorrow when you get off. I’ll show you the stars.”

“They better be out of this world, Jones,” Emma says with a giggle.

“I’ll let that pun pass, just this once, Swan,” he retorts.

“Thank you, kind sir.” He hears her inhale and sigh. “Alright, I’ve got to go back to work. I just wanted to see how it went.”

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow in person,” he tells her. “How about that?”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you then, Jones.”

“Be safe, Swan.”

“Always am.” And then she hangs up on her own, leaving Killian with a satisfied, if not tired feeling sinking into his bones.

Tuesday morning, he only shows up five minutes early and quickly gets to work in his little office. He’s hoping to get all his tasks done and have a bit of a chance to play with the astrolabe before Emma swings by. He knows enough – surprisingly enough, he can more or less operate one thanks to schooling and YouTube tutorials – but she’s never seen the stars. He doesn’t want his own incompetence to ruin her first gaze.

Somehow, he manages to wrap up all his work by quarter after four, a full half hour before Emma texts him that she’s on her way earlier than expected. Killian hasn’t a clue how visits work here, so he tells her to come through the back way, the faulty emergency exit door where Keith and Loren go out to smoke, not too far from his cubicle.

He knows Emma’s arrived when he hears the door begin to shake vigorously. Killian hurries to let her in because he knows Swan isn’t averse to kicking down the door. Hopefully not to one of New York’s most beloved and oldest buildings, but honestly, he wouldn’t put it past her.

Her banging gets louder and louder as he approaches, until he shoves it open and Emma’s slightly stunned face greets him.

“Hi,” she whispers, sneaking in the door.

With a big smile, Killian takes her hand and closes the door softly. “Hello, love.”

“Am I in trouble or something?” she asks unexpectedly.

Brows furrowed, he says, “No, why would you think that?”

She shrugs. “You’re sneaking me in the back and we’re whispering.”

“I’m whispering because you were whispering,” he answers with a chuckle. “C’mon, there’s a lot to see and I don’t know how much time we’ve got.”

As he gently tugs Emma along the hallways, she inquires, “What are we doing?”

Killian refrains from answering until they stand on the precipice of the planetarium itself. He turns to her, carefully walking backwards down the gradient aisle, pulling her along with him.

“Five years ago, you told me you’d never seen the stars,” he reminds her, her slight chuckles egging him on. “And I promised you that, one day, I’d change that.”

“Killian, what are you doing?” she asks again, and still he doesn’t answer. He’s brought her down to the middle of the room, right next to the globe projector. With a silent plea to stay where she is, he runs back up the aisle and presses a few buttons on the motherboard.

The room goes dark.

And the stars light up.

Emma’s still looking at him, her head cocked to the side as her tongue peeks out from between her lips. She’s trying to hide her smile to no avail.

Walking once more toward her, Killian points to the ceiling. “Look up, Swan,” he announces. “See the stars.”

She shakes her head until he’s in front of her, then takes his hand in hers. And then she looks up.

Her mouth drops.

“Oh wow,” she murmurs. “There’s so many.”

Killian nods, taking in the image of Emma taking in the night skies as they should always be, in his humble opinion. He watches her eyes flit around the entirety of the room, the projected stars reflecting bright against the green of her iris.

Beautiful, he thinks. And he’s not sure which one his conscience is describing, the stars or the woman before him.

“Those ones are in a straight line,” she observes absently. Quickly, Emma glances back down to earth before pointing at the collection of three stars she’s talking about.

“That’s Orion’s belt,” Killian explains. “They’re sometimes called the three kings or the three sisters.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, it goes back to the Middle East, when they first started recognizing and naming constellations,” he says. “Even though the three stars are three of the brightest in the winter time, they don’t appear in the sky until early January, around the feast of the Epiphany, where the three kings brought gifts to baby Jesus. In ancient times, they were often used to mark time.”

Emma hums, then looks at him again. “And this Orion fella,” she says. “Does he only wear a belt?”

Unable to help himself, Killian laughs heartily. His Emma would think of that in that particular manner. “In Greek mythology, Orion was a hunter who was honored by Zeus at his death and put into the stars to guide wanderers.”

“Huh,” she harrumphs. “He could’ve done a better job when I was a kid.”

Her statement is a bit of a mood killer – which Emma is entitled to whenever she wants, in his book – but the stars have given him so much, and he wants nothing but the same for her. So he quickly locates another constellation and begins to tell the story behind it.

“Do you see that star there?” he asks her, his finger pointing in a different direction. “The bright one that looks a little too white?” He feels more than sees her nod, feels the tendrils of her hair brush against the hair on his jawbone. “That’s called Deneb. It’s the brightest star in the Cygnus constellation during the summer and fall.”

“A swan?”

“Aye, a swan.” Killian gulps at what he’s going to say next. He wants to tell her that, from the moment he met her, he associated the constellation with her. The strength and the ferocity of the animal itself and the warrior-attitude of the mythological characters for which the collection of stars is named are all reflected within Emma’s spirit and story.

He truly intends on recounting that to her because she needs to know, when the stars disappears and the lights stutter on.

“Mr. Jones, the museum is closed now.” It’s the foreboding voice of his supervisor, the sternness in her voice causing his shoulders to hunch and his hackles to rise.

He briefly glances at Emma’s wide eyes before sighing and saying, “I understand, Ms.-”

“Miss.” She’s addressing Emma specifically, her strides casually approaching them with her arms crossed over her chest. “Mr. Jones will be back here tomorrow during business hours. You may come back and discuss the stars with him then.”

Killian lies quickly. Emma’s taken enough shit in her life: he won’t let her take more on account of his stupidity. “Ms. Mills, this is my lovely girlfriend, Emma Swan,” he says, gesturing between the two women. “I apologize for not introducing you earlier.”

That stops Regina short, her hair bobbing with the dip of her head. “What are you doing here?” she asks.

As she tends to do, Emma hops on his train of thought. “I just got off work and we were going to go get something to eat,” she lies easily, charming smile on her lips. Gently nudging his body aside, she sticks her hand out to his supervisor. “Nice to meet you.”

“A pleasure.” Her distaste registers with both him and Swan – he can tell by the way she steps back, nearly nipping his toes. “Mr. Jones failed to inform me of any relationship.”

Standing next to Emma, Killian carefully takes her hand in his. “I fail to see how that is any of your business, Ms. Mills,” he growls.

Regina smirks, making his heartbeat speed up in concern. “You only RSVP’d for one,” she tells him. “I should think you’d want to bring your girlfriend to our office potluck next week.”

His jaw drops like an anchor. Of course he had said only he would come to the potluck because he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He nearly mumbles an expletive, completely giving away their plot when, once again, Emma swoops in to save the day.

(As much as he knows he saves her, his Swan does her fair share of saving his sorry ass too.)

“I had to work, but I’ve managed to switch shifts,” she says happily. “Special for this shindig.”

“Really?” he asks in surprise.

Emma gives a small shrug. “I was going to surprise you over pizza,” she murmurs with a shy smile. “Surprise?”

He reasons that it’s part of the act they’re portraying – that he can’t help but lean over and press his lips to her temple. “A lovely surprise, Swan,” he mumbles against her forehead.

Still smirking, Regina spreads her arms wide. “What a nice change in plans,” she exclaims. “I look forward to speaking with you again at the potluck, Ms. Swan. Have a good evening.”

And with Emma’s “Likewise” farewell, his supervisor struts back up the planetarium’s aisle and leaves them alone.

Killian barely realizes his hand is still in Emma’s, and that he’s still lingering closer than he’s ever really been before, their interconnecting hands caught between his chest and her side.

He sighs, pulling away ever so slightly. “Thank you for covering for me.”

“Thanks for giving me an out,” Emma chuckles. While wincing, she asks, “You won’t get in trouble, will you?”

Killian shrugs. “Maybe, but that’s my cross to bear.” Finally, he drops her hand and wipes his own on the side of his pants. He’s nervous, which makes his palms sweat, and that’s not attractive or comfortable for anyone involved. Bashfully, he follows the steps of his supervisor back to the motherboard. “You don’t have to come to the party thing, you know.”

“Yes I do.” The vehemence in Emma’s voice causes him to turn around. She’s got her hands on her hips and a fierce fire in her eyes. “You’ve got a reputation to uphold and I’m not going to let you down,” she spits out, throwing her hand out toward him.

Taking a step back to her, Killian raises an eyebrow. “You know that means you’ll have to spend an entire evening talking with my colleagues about space rocks and the Hope Diamond and the average life span of a species of cat that’s been dead for three hundred years?”

She nods without hesitation, so Killian takes another step toward her, cocking his head to the side. “You know that means you’ll have to spend the entire night pretending you like me,” he reminds her. “Holding hands, arms around the waist, coming and leaving together? Things couples might do?”

Emma giggles as if what he’s just said isn’t a problem, couldn’t possibly ruin the relationship and friendship they both rely heavily on. She saunters up to him and takes his hand once more.

“You’ve shown me the stars, Killian,” she tells him earnestly. “The least I can do is pretend I like you a little more than I do.”

He’s not convinced with her words, especially not with the way she bites her bottom lip after she says it. He knows Emma quite well and though she always says she can tell when he’s lying, he’s not quite sure that she’s just as open a book to him.

Because she’s lying. And given the context of her last words and the situation they’ve found themselves in, he’s afraid to hope what she’s lying about.

“We can sneak back in here during the party,” Killian suggests, leaning closer to her. “Really get a feel for the Milky Way.”

Her nose scrunches up as she smiles. “Is that a promise, Jones?” Emma asks quietly.

“Yes,” he whispers. “One of many more to come.”

#swan-road #cs ff #cs au #captain swan #cssv #i really am sorry with how late this is #and how shitty it might be #I had grand plans #hopefully ill be able to make it better in a second part

21 notes · View notes

itsjayyyy · 6 years ago

Text

September 18, 2018 4:53 pm

wow since it’s been a few days since an update, I had a lot of things to open this entry with, but of course only one topic can be the first i talk about. so, the most recent one: I was just laying in bed thinking about how I need to study for my bio exam tomorrow and also complete the next two modules for econ, but then I realized it’s tuesday and econ hw is due monday nights, and freaked out. I literally went through all five stages of grief, before I was like “it’s okay, it’s only the homework, the exam will pull my grade up” and opened my laptop to start reading for bio. but then I checked econ and apparently because there’s an exam this week, there wasn’t any homework due so HOLLA.

so this past weekend has been annoying, as always. I was at ioa for friday, but we only had three workers total (we normally have 6) for closing, so it was hell trying to close on time. and then saturday I went to usf, which is always hell. not to mention, hhn started so we had to spend an hour cleaning so the night crew would be set. and at the end of my shift, the usf manager has the nerve to say to me that she wants me to pick up some shifts this week. I tell her that I have four exams, and I’ll have to check my schedule, but she says “oh but your availability says you’re free after 4 on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays” what the fuck!!!!!! don’t go looking at my availability when I’m not your employee!!!!!!! so I kept saying I had to study, I had to see, two of my exams are online, etc and she kept pushing for me to at least take shifts on friday afternoon and saturday, since I should be done with exams by then. I took the saturday shift because by this point my shift ended a minute ago and I wanted to leave, and told her I’d call her to let her know if I can take friday (I won’t.) SO SUNDAY I walk in to ioa (home sweet home), and we have a new coworker!!! And by new I mean he used to work at usf but transferred here permanently. What. “Oh jay we send you to usf because they’re understaffed and we’re overstaffed.” Okay. So I tell my manager that they’re stupid for accepting MORE workers when we have that issue, and she has the audacity to say to my face “oh it’s more than that, he didn’t like it at usf” as if I haven’t spent the last two months telling both ioa and usf managers that I hate usf. Okay. So Sunday, when I next work at ioa, I’m going to speak to my highest manager and tell her that she either tells the scheduler that I am not to work at usf again, or I quit. I have enough money in my savings account to last me a while.

wow. rose deadass drank 6 apple juice boxes out of the 8-pack we had. this bitch clearly doesn’t care if I starve huh.

so yesterday I met up with heather after class in the student union. did I mention how much I love cafe bustelo? I really love it. a good cafe con leche really warms me up. we talked for a while, then I walked her to class. In our conversation, our birthdays came up at some point (I think I said something along the lines of “you didn’t get me anything for my birthday this year! and she said “you didn’t get me anything either!”) and I was like “I bet you don’t even know my birthday” and she said april 22nd. and then later she was like yea well I bet you don’t know mine and i immediately said march 19, so she said she’d buy me starbucks today to make up for it.

today’s morning was really gr8 and also really un-gr8. like, I woke up at 7 thinking I had to leave the house at 8:30 for my ortho appt, and laid in bed for a while before finally getting up and showering. but when I stepped out of the shower and saw the time was 8, I realized that I didn’t leave the house at 8:30, my appointment was at 8:30. cue getting dressed while still partially damp, forgetting heather’s gov’t textbook, and going 75 in a 45 zone. I thank the gods daily that motorcycles don’t get red light tickets.

while driving down the main road leading to my university, I had this white car weaving between traffic. at one point he was behind me, but then when I slowed down in a turn he switched to the right, which ended up being right behind a campus shuttle (you know, the ones that drive 5 mph under the speed limit at all times and you can barely see around. and they’re diesel, ugh!). as he saw me speed up at the end of the curve, he switched back to behind me and sped up too, but as soon as I reached level with the front of the shuttle (and the pickup on the other side of me), I slammed on my brakes so he couldn’t try to go around. Definitely risked getting run the fuck over, but it was so worth it seeing the look of frustration on his face.

I got nearly instant karma, though, because he entered the university through the first turn, when I went for the second a little ways up since it’s closer to my garage. but the traffic light was down, so I had to merge into one lane with everyone else, and then they wouldn’t even allow left turns because it’s too complex for the person directing traffic, so I had to make a right then a u-turn. But it was made up for by the fact that the trike that normally parks in my spot was probably also deterred by the traffic, and I got to claim my righteous spot.

so when I got on campus, I went to heather’s class, or rather, the building it was in since I couldn’t find room 106 exactly. I remembered that my annoying coworker said that her classes were in that building + the one next to it also on tuesdays, but I thought that there was no way I’d actually bump into her considering there are over 60,000 students and the buildings are pretty large, plus I didn’t know what time her classes are.

well, now I know that her class gets out at the same time + same building as heather. we walked towards the starbucks (which is near her next class), and I introduced her to heather, we talked about how it was to work at universal, the sort. and then she was like “well I gotta go to class now, bye!” and i was like bye and smiled and when she was more than 20 feet away I turned to heather and said “that’s the coworker I told you that I hate.”

I love pumpkin spice season!!!!!!!! got a frappuccino tho, because it’s never truly fall in florida. heather got a mango dragonfruit refresher bc I recommended it to her, and it’s funny because the person ordering before us was also named heather and also ordered a mango dragonfruit. As a barista, that’s like my worst nightmare. Luckily they were able to tell it apart because the other heather got a grande. We sat in the starbucks for a while, I explained how weed is a lot more safe than cigarettes, talked about pine hills’ reputation, and how samantha’s mom is so damn disrespectful. This woman drove heather home one day when picking up samantha, and the whole ride was bragging about how samantha was going to be so successful because she’s majoring in some type of psychology and will be making over 90k a year. and then she turned the conversation to how teachers don’t make that much money, and she asks heather how she could do that, just take such a low-paying job. and lemme tell ya how MY GIRL HEATHER FUCKIN SNAPPED. she done said she tired of people saying teachers don’t make a lot of money yall. she said to samantha’s mom, “I don’t know how you’re looking down on my salary when you have three children from three different men with only a salary of $30k.” Y’ALL. the point that heather was trying to make the point that “people from working-class families act as if a salary less than 100k is unacceptable even for an unmarried, childless young adult despite working class families often having a household income of 50k while supporting children just fine,” but damn she really went there. goin off on this good catholic woman for having baby daddies. well samantha’s mom and samantha became very upset. and they told heather’s dad who would not leave her alone until she apologized. as in, he was banging on her door telling her she had to apologize. I said put headphones in and ignore it, she was like “girl you don’t understand haitian parents. my dad literally opened my door with a knife when I locked it.” so she had to apologize :/ but she also made it clear that she didn’t like the way samantha’s mom disrespected her. she tried to make it seem relatable, and be like, “oh what if i said that to your mom, wouldn’t you tell me to apologize” and I’m like???? no???? I would make my mom apologize for being disrespectful first the hell??? then I reminded her about how I literally lived on the streets for 3 weeks because my mom was disrespectful to me.

today after class I decided to take the city bus home, for 4 reasons: I wanted to stay humble and remember where I came from, I wanted time to be able to finish this book, not walking the last half-mile home every day this semester has caused some weight gain, and I really wanted to hold my parking spot against that damn trike, and it seems he comes too early in the morning for me, so I just left my bike there overnight. yea I’m petty.

The book was really good. It’s definitely a hard read, for sure. In the sense that it really will make you cry. At the end, it listed all of the school shooting victims since columbine, plus a small snippet about them (it was like 20 pages long). The one that really got me was an 8 year old, whose text read “shoot me first,” as he wanted to take a bullet so it wouldn’t be used against his classmates. Then, below that entry, a seven year old, who said “shoot me next.” Just typing that is making my eyes water again.

The walk home was super tiring. I’m super out of shape, it was hard for me to even imagine that I did this every single day the entire first semester of college. And I have to do it tomorrow morning again, ugh. Can you believe heather wakes up at 5:30 am???? I’m never seen out of bed before 7, and even then it’s only for things like appointments. But I guess I really should start waking up earlier, because whenever I get on campus around 8 I feel great because I have so much time to study and stuff. but that means I have to buy a coffee on campus, and I don’t know if I want to commit to that expense.

edit: so I originally posted this to my main, and when I saw that I copied it, then deleted it, then tried to paste it into a new post, but I guess I didn’t press ctrl hard enough because it didn’t copy. and I was about to cry bc this is close to 2k words, but then I realized I had a tab of my main open that still had the original post showing, so I copied from there.

0 notes

yesithoughtthat-blog · 6 years ago

Text

It’s OK to quit your job

Maybe it was when I sat at my desk that I realized it, or in line at Pret and feeling the urge burning in my throat, clouding my mind, numbing my hands.

“everyone cries -- I’m just an easy crier.” I wasn’t ashamed of crying, crying is in my blood, it’s the first way I usually come to express my (almost always) overwhelming emotions. So when I casually strolled into the bathroom at Pret, which I knew would soon become my safehaven, I immediately burst into tears as a way of relieving all the emotions building up. I wasn’t necessarily overwhelmingly sad, but I knew I could afford a little meltdown before I had to head back into my first day of work, and why not? It would give me relief and then I could pick myself back up and continue on my way. I think it’s funny how whenever I cry, I always look at myself in the mirror during the midst of my breakdown. I’m always surprised by how I look even though I’ve literally seen myself cry a million times. Just like, wow, your really deep in some emotions right now, huh. I was going to type, “this bitch really is ugly af when she cries” but I’m working on reducing my use of self-depricating humor.

So going back to my breakdown, I’m in the mirror, crying, realizing my foundation is being wiped away with my tears, fuck I didn’t pack my foundation so I’ll just blot my face when I get back to the office and hope there aren’t obvious tear tracks on my face. I don’t exactly remember if I felt relief, maybe just relief that I had a moment to not pretend I was ok, but the sadness was still there. I had had a stressful morning, me and my dad had missed our train, fast-walked to my building, I was exhausted from not sleeping (stress and anxiety, ofc), I had barely ate (because not eating when I’m stressed is a great habit, ofc) and now I couldn’t stop the thoughts coming into my head.

The thoughts. Like I miss being at college, I miss my friends, I can’t believe I’m an adult now. The thing about having OCD is my mind tends to go to extremes, tends to believe in the worst case scenario, tends to make me, or at least try, the most miserable I can be. Thankfully it’s all kind of muted and hazy thanks to my antidepressant, my dear dear antidepressant Viibryd. And reading this now I am remembering I never took it today.

OK back from that. So, yea, I missed being at college, I was exhausted, I could not believe that I would have to repeat this whole day again tomorrow. That drived me nuts too. I hate waking up early with a passion. Again, stems from staying up late because anxiety then it becomes a habit then it starts to interfere with my life, as do all self-destructive habits that come along with mental illnesses. And on top of that, starting a new job is just stressful in its itself! So I had all of these seemingly nice people welcoming me, I had a promising job, but I was miserable. I was silently crying at my desk, I was barely able to concentrate on my job, but I figured it’s pass, that I needed to give myself time to adjust and that I could push through it like I had everything else.

And thennnnn the next day came. Let me preface this by interjecting that when I say I have an “anxiety disorder” (because OCD is usually met with a face that I can tell is thinking “well I have no idea what that it is but it sounds unpleasant”), they (anyone I tell), is usually thinking that I am anxious over the standard things. Like, oh, I’m anxious people won’t like me, or I’ll have a lot of work, which yea, I was. But also, OCD gives me alot of other stuff to worry about. So just going through about my usual day, I can list off the top of my head what I’d be worried about. Like, I get out of the car and say bye to my mom, and I think “What if this is the last time I see her,” which is not a fun thing to think. And then I wait for the train and I think “what if I passed out right now and then I fell on the tracks, or I tried to get on the train and I fall through the gap” or then I get on the train and think “what if the train gets stuck AND THEN i pass out on the train or I have an anxiety attack” AND THEN i get to penn and I think “what if i passed out in front of all these people or get an anxiety attack” AND THEN i walk to work and that’s when the vertigo starts, or the dissociation, or the clammy hands or dry mouth or all of the above and I’m thinking “all you have to do is walk in a straight line, just walk to work” and I can feel the fuzziness in my hands, I can feel it all over my fucking skin and I feel like it’s someone else looking through my eyes and I just can’t grasp if it’s me looking out or if it’s me thinking about thinking and if I’m really there and am I losing my mind or am I imagining my vision going slightly shifty, slightly hazy to make me nervous but not to put me in any danger, just uncomfortable enough to put some sweat on the back on my neck and twitch my hands in my pocket, picking at the same piece of skin next to my thumbnail over and over until it’s bleeding and I have to suffocate it. I have to suffocate the thoughts and I have to get to work on time but I’m so stressed I’m so. fucking. stressed.

And then I get to work. And it doesn’t stop. And mind you, this is my second day! And of course, the second day I cried again, silently weeping at my desk. Of course this job involved the two things I hated, public speaking and flying. it was almost laughable. I actually did laugh, me and my therapist later on. My whole job was giving presentations to clients (middle-aged, stoic faced, insurance or investment clients), and FLYING to different states to give these presentations. Maybe by myself, maybe with a coworker. And I knew 100% I couldn’t do that. So why would I stay? Quitting right before I was supposed to give a huge presentation was obviously not a good idea. But to even think about the work I was doing right now, at that moment, at my desk bored as fuck and feeling so inferior to everyone around me working on computer science and business, which is probably not an accurate but yes how I did feel thought, and then to be stressed, to just want to catch my breath. I knew I had to quit. I knew I was pushing myself too hard. My mom knew it, we had looked at each other before I had gotten out of the car and I had known that fuck, this was going to be hard wasn’t it. So on top of all this stress was my good old friend vertigo popping back into my life, and I’m sitting at my bosses desk and were listening in on a meeting and I feel the floor shift. I had felt it before too when I had gone to the bathroom and that sometimes happens when I sit for too long (and meanwhile as I’m peeing my coworker is brushing her teeth because she had forgot to this morning, if anyone wants an idea of what adult life really is like), and anyways, I’m at her desk and I feel the floor shift. Up, down, tilting side to side like I’m on a boat and I start to feel a little uneasy. And I cannot wait for this fucking meeting to be over. For this client to just shut up already the software is fine, do you really need to understand that part Kathy can I please just leave already, so I’m essentially just staring at the desk at this point and then my boss asks me if I have any questions and I :) of course do not have any, I’m great, awesome, thanks! And I get back to my desk and S.S. Anxiety is fast away on its course, taking me up and down and downnnnn and up and I am freaking the fuck out, naturally. This happened to me before, so it’s not a new feeling, it’s probably my birth control (which is another long story) so I of course then begin to realize -- how am I walking back to Penn. And that fills me with dread. A lot of dread. And after about 20 minutes of deliberation I meekly walk into the girl’s office next to mine, HR, because I guess that’s where you ask to leave early? Who knows. And i ask her if i can leave early and I can feel the tears wanting to surface, I’m embarassed and she tells me I have to ask my boss and I do noooot want to do that. So I sit back at my desk and I’m trying to do some deep breaths, trying to calm down and it eventually it passes! Thank god it passes. And thank god it finally becomes 6 and I start walk to back to penn and I get in the first cab i see because i have had a long day and I deserve this thank you very much. And the cab driver is super nice, telling me how to get to penn because he can tell i have no idea where I’m going, poor girl. And i get to penn and I get on a 6:20 train and i close my eyes and almost miss my stop. But it’s ok because I’m finally home.

Fast forward the next 2 days, I’m home sick with vertigo, I go to a primary doctor and then an ENT and get prescribed medication that helps. I think my boss is mad at me but I’ve got other fish to fry. I go in monday, I try my hardest, and it’s too much. And that’s what I want to get at. Life is not linear. Just because your “supposed” to do something doesn’t mean you have to. I took a year off of college, even though I wasn’t “supposed” to, and I will never regret it, I am so fucking thankful and grateful I did. And when I sent my resignation letter in later that day, I knew I would be grateful I did.

It’s OK to not follow the line people try to paint you. To take a break, to take care of yourself. My happiness and health comes first. I will be OK not having this job, with finding something else, what other job, I do not know as of right now. But for now, I am going to commit to working on things I have wanted to for a whileeeee, like working out! and continuing to improve how I manage my emotions, because that will always be an up and down situation I can work on. I ranted alot to my friends about this, but I also googled “quitting job bc of anxiety” and reading the 3 other blog posts I found made me feel a little less alone, and I’m a huge advocate of speaking out about mental health, so hopefully someone else out there reads this and knows they aren’t alone too. You’ll be ok. Trust me.

0 notes