#i guess? i'm never sure what counts as sim spice or not

[edmunderson]

[crazy56u]

So, Youtube and Google Play still think "Let Them Play" never aired, and my mom's SIM card straight up vanished out of her cell phone. Shit's weird all over. Luckily, Ben gets to be a lawyer this week, so there's that distraction.

[Also, to circumvent Firefox lagging out again, I wrote all of this in Notepad before dumping it into the post.]

Woah, no saga sell, we just dump straight into the episode…

Why is this courtroom so dark?

Ben is going to get this guy sent to jail, isn't he?

Look, to be fair, a $50,000 bail is better than jail.

"Okay, look, I know I'm a public defender, but we need to resolve the cliffhanger from last week?" "Ben, no we don't."

Ben has to solve all of the court cases this week, good fucking luck.

Seriously, the universe fucking sucks if Ben is getting thrown into the deep end of the pool like this. At least Sam only had one case when he was first exposed to court proceedings.

"You said it didn't matter that I didn't shoot him!" "Yeah, well, I was literally a different person yesterday."

I have every reason to believe Ian was the one to set up that bet, so they only have themselves to blame.

But, hey, on the bright side, it's only a dollar a pop.

Ah, so that's the rub: The last bunch of episodes this season all center around a member of the Project. So, that means Magic's gonna wind up in the Imaging Chamber next?

"Look, I can't do this." "I'm Ernie Hudson, Jenn, guess again."

Okay, Addison, you need to fucking let Ben know in advance when you let other people into the Chamber.

"You're a lawyer." "I've… talked to them, that counts, right?"

"Look, I've been in court numerous times, it's fun after a while."

[Also, I'm getting a sinking suspicion that the real reason Addison is passing the buck is because she's been replaced by Martinez.]

[Also, NBC's feed just had a minor seizure on my end.]

"Look, I have new evidence, my ghost friend just told me!" "Okay, sure, you didn't fucking file it, so court is adjourned."

This is like Better Call Saul, but some how more scummy.

This bald guy looks like he deals in ponzi schemes.

[So, of course his name's Saul...]

"It's impossible for one person to read all of this." "I'm literally standing right here, Ben."

I think I heard that seven minute fact once on Adam Ruins Everything.

Camilo was in the wrong place at the wrong time, much like 95% of everyone on this show.

Also, Addison got bored, and is just watching the show on the computer.

Why does this episode feel zippy tonight?

…okay, that one plot twist just blew Better Call Saul out of the water.

[T-Mobile, stop using the Scrubs guys to sell me on the service I already have, all you're doing is making me miss Scrubs.]

"Did you cancel our dinner reservations?" "What?"

"You fuck up my court case, you pay for dinner, only fair."

[By the way, I might have missed it, but did they say a date at the start of the episode?]

I love how that's the immediate smoking gun Ben has: "Did you know there's more than one entrance into a building?"

I have to imagine it took every bit of restraint that cop had to not choke him out while tackling him.

Okay, so either the cop stole that page, or that page was shredded.

"Bury evidence, just to win a case, what is this, Better Call Saul?"

"We got Marty McFly's almanac!" Jenn, did you NOT WATCH Back to the Future II?!

If Ziggy could talk, she would be prolapsing right now over Ben abusing the horse tracks.

[Why are they using the Spice Girls to hock Applebee's, what did they do to deserve that?]

"Look, Public Defender, it's your fault I decided to deal drugs! My brother could be relaxing prison for 10 years right now if not for you wanting to get him proven innocent!"

"Okay, this is the second page, I am saying this in case you forgot we made a big deal out of the second page being missing."

What if it turns out Edwin Soto's dead?

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeey honey, I need to ask you about a guy…"

Why does this house look like a sitcom set?

"These four walls, they're a sanctuary. Just ignore the missing one."

"Ben, look through Vicky's papers, or Camillo goes to jail."

Yeah, she didn't hide the paper, she just took it, there's a difference.

ADA Barnes: The Real Antagonist

And Ben just ruined love.

Great, now Stuart's homeless, Ben's batting a thousand.

"Look, I don't know Edwin Soto, I can't h- wait, he's that guy?!"

That judge is hating life right now.

"Is everything in order, Counselor, you look like you just discovered tampered evidence, and if you reveal how you know that, you'll get disbarred?"

Oh God, Kentucky, a fate worse than death.

"I'm terrible at speeches. …wait, why am I being reminded of Watership Down?"

I choose to believe this isn't in the script, and she just started ranting about rabbits while the camera was rolling.

"The answer is you, Ben, you're the rabbit- wait, you're the farmer- fuck, what was the story I was telling?"

"Well, what do we know, besides the rabbit thing?"

Okay, Vicky fucking teleported, she fucking teleported into the scene, you cannot convince me otherwise.

Calling it now, Barnes is trying to protect Edwin for some bullshit reason.

"Boy, I'm a lost, if only I have a magical ghost friend who's current in 2023, with access to a supercomputer…" "…are you having a stroke?"

"What are the chances the gun is in the same place-" It's this show, Ian, the chances are pretty fucking good.

[Also, cool, at least I know it's 1985, so watch as it turns out I straight up missing them say it at the start.]

And Stuart saves the day!

Ben almost got fucked over due to someone not knowing north from south.

"Okay, I gave a speech, Ben, it's your turn."

Not to be Debbie Downer, but there's 15 minutes left, I think Leo might have a point on the gun not being enough?

"Hey, you know what it's a perfect time for? A botany lesson."

"Look, I'm gonna be nice for once, I'll make it a five-year sentence." "Look-" "Okay, cool, fuck you then, bye."

Okay, so, either a 100% chance at four years, or 50/50 he's declared innocent. Shit like this makes me glad I'm not a gambler.

[Also, it just hit me: Did Martinez leap into ADA Barnes?]

"Four years is too long." Ain't that the fucking truth… Hell, one year is too long at this point…

I love how the lighting at points makes it look like Jenn is wearing a tie.

Did anyone schedule this fucking dinner?!

Okay, seven minutes, let's do the dance.

Ben, no, don't talk about time travel, you're in trial.

And watch as the fucking jury declares him guilty anyway.

I love the implication that Addison kicked Jenn out of the Imaging Chamber.

"I just remembered Magic" is, out of context, something one should not be saying out loud in a courthouse.

Man, ADA Barnes must get off on tampering with case files…

Wait, so did Camilo get declared innocent, or what?

Okay, thank God, keep me waiting in suspense, why don't ya…

Okay, cool, happy endings all around, so, when's the other shoe dropping?

…okay, Ben leaping into a mental asylum, I count that as a shoe.

So, welcome to "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", Ben.

[How the fuck did Ben wind up in a worse mental hospital than Sam?]

Like, seriously, all Sam experienced was two electroshock treatments. In the promo alone, Ben wound up in a surgery room, got stabbed in the neck with a thing, and got shoved into a straightjacket. What the fuck?